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ASSET #29:Honesty

Youth are morelikely to grow up

healthy whenthey are able to

tell the trutheven when it is

not easy.

What Are Assets?Assets are40 values,

experiences, and qualities that

help kidssucceed.

“Honesty” is oneof six positive-values assets.

* Based on Search Institutesurveys of 217,277 6th- to

12th-grade youth throughout theUnited States during the1999–2000 school year.

FAST FACTS

“W e’re home!” your teenagerand his best friend say.

When you ask how the movie was, they bothsay great. When you askwhat they saw, they each give you different answers.

“You know, I’d never cheat,” yourdaughteronce told you. But you notice that she broughthome a testwith a perfect score and youknow she didn’t study or know the materialwell enough.

Unfortunately, cheating and dishonesty aremore prevalent in our children than we wouldlike. In a survey of 3,370 high school students,about 9 out of 10 said that cheating iscommon at their school.The number onereason for cheating: It’s not a big deal.

Yet according to Search Institute, honesty is

a big deal. Of youth surveyed, 67% say they believe it is important to tell the truth evenwhen it is not easy. And there’s a difference between girls and boys:73% of girls say they value honesty, whereas only 60% of boys do.

To instill the value of honesty,we need to

AcknowledgingActs of Honesty

Easy Ways to Build Assets for and with Your Child

6 7 %o f you t h

surveyed by

Search

Ins t i t u t e have

t his asse t in

t heir l ives. *

Newsletter #3

T hr ee wa y s t o hel p y ou r chi l d v a l u ehonest y :

1 .E ncou r a g e ea ch f a mi l y member

t oma k e a per sona l commi t ment t ot el l t he t r u t h. H onest l y a ck nowl ed g e f eel i n g s. H onest l y a d mi t t o su ccesses a nd mi st a k es.2.Don’ t ov er r ea ct when y ou r chi l d l i es t o y ou . Chi l d r en wi l l l i e i f t he y f ea r y ou r r ea ct i on.3.Wor k t o g et her t o come u p wi t hf a mi l y r u l es a bou t honest y a nd t he consequ ences f or d i shonest y .

t o g e ht im e t e r

Modeling Honesty Tips for modeling honesty for your child:

• Correct the situation immediately when clerks give you too much change.

• Be honest in talking to telemarketers.Instead of hanging up or making an excuse, just say, “No, thank you. We’re not interested.” Then hang up.

• Admit when you’ve fudged the truth and apologize.

• Brainstorm ways to be honest in a par- ticularly sticky situation, such as break- ing up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

talk about it, model it, and explain why honesty is an important value. Honest peopleare trustworthy, sincere, and genuine people.

Honesty is a value worth having.

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“Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?”—Cicero

W o R D F i N a L

M o r e H e l p f o r P a r e n t s

T h e F i r s t H o n e s t B o o k a b o u t L i e s b y Jo n n i K i nc he r. Fo r ages 1 3

a nd u p, t h is boo k e nco u rages reade rs to de ve lo p ho nes t y as a

pe rso na l va l ue t h ro ug h e x a m p les,ga mes,a nd t ho ug h t- p ro vo k i ng

q ues t io ns. ( P u b l is hed b y F ree S p i r i t . )

Qu est i ons t o d i scu ss wi t h y ou r chi l d : • Wha t wou l d y ou d o i f someone a sk ed y ou t o be d i shonest ? • Do y ou f i nd i t ea s y or ha r d t o be honestwi t h y ou r sel f ? Wh y ? • Do y ou see d i shonest y i n a d v er t i si n g ? Wher e? • H ow ca n we ma k e honest y ou r f a mi l y pol i c y ?

t o g

e

ht a l k t

er

Watch What You Do...and Say

R esearchers Svenn Lindskold and Pamela S.Walters found that college students said some lies

were more permissible than others if they savedothers from embarrassment, shame, or hurt. In fact,many people (children and adults alike) tell small lies regularly, such as

saying you feel fine when you don’t, making up an excuse to get rid of someone annoying, fibbing about your age or weight, and distortingthe truth so that you don’t hurt someone’s feelings.As a parent, how do you feel about these kinds of lies? What do you teach your childrenabout honesty and lying in these situations?

Q u ic k T i p :Be an ex am p le of honest y f or y our c h ildr en .

When You Suspect Your Child Is Lying Don’t accuse your child. Instead, ask:

“Do you think I believe you right now?” Or, “Do you think I might be struggling

with believing you right now?” Give

your child the opportunity to tell the

truth.

This newsletter and other asset resources are produced by Search Institute, www.search-institute.org; 800-888-7828.Copyright © 1997, 2003, 2005 by Search Institute. Major support for Search Institute’sHealthy Communities • Healthy Youth initiative

is provided by Thrivent Financial for Lutherans.

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