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U. S. ARMY GENERAL HOSPITAL NO. 24

Vol, 1. No. 3. PARKVIEW STATION, PITTSBURGH, PA., SATURDAY, MARCH 1, 1919. Five Cents a Copy

PARKVIEW HEROESGIVEN DISTINGUISHED

SERVICE CROSSESimpressive exercises

MARK PATRIOTIC EVENTIn the presence of thousands of

poisons, among whom were hundredsof returned soldiers and many wound-ed heroes from the Parkview Gov-ernment Hospital, the dedication ofthe flagpole, located not far fromCarnegie Museum, Forbes street, onthe grounds of Schenley Park, tookplace Saturday morning, February22, with impressive ceremonies. Prev-.ious to the dedication of the pole, ameeting was neld in the CarnegieMusic Hall, over which Col. SamuelHarden Church presided. This meet-ing was attended by a large throng,which cheered when two officers,Capt. Arno S. McClellan, of theForty-seventh Infantry, and Liuet.John H. Mitchener, an aviator’s pilot,of the First Aero Squadron, receivedthe Distinguished Service Cross. Bothmen, who are from Pennsylvania, andpatients at our hospital, were men-tioned for the decoration for valor-ous deeds while in action in France.It was the first chance Pittsburghershad to see any of the Keystone Statesoldiers awarded medals in honor ofbrave acts performed in defeatingthe Hun. And it was also the firstopportunity of many persons to seehundreds of Yanks, sitting side byside, all of whom wore one or moregold wound chevrons on their rightsleeve.

On the stage beside Col. Church,were many naval and military offi-cers, and Red Cross nurses from the• S. Army Hospital at Parkview.Among them were Col. E. D. Krem-

®rs, commanding officer of the Hos-pital and his staff, CommodoreDemg, U. S. Navy, Chancellor S. BMcCormick, of the University of*s urg*b, Hon. John S. Hernon,President of City Council, Hon. Josiah Cohen and Hon. Enoch Rauh.Capt, McClellan and Lieut. Mitch-enei, who lisked their lives time andagain in the terrific engagements onthe western front, blushed profuselywhen they were called to the frontoi the stage by Col. John C. W.Brooks, who read the message fromCongress authorizing the awarding°t the medals. The first three rowsot the spacious auditorium were fill-ed for the entire width of the hallwith heroes of Belleau Wood, ofhateau-Thierry, of r ismes andFismette, and of the terriMe battleof Argonne Woods. These khaki-dad lads had all tasted of Hun steel;all had gone down on the battlefieldheaded in the right direction, andthey grinned proudly at the veryevident discomfiture of the two offi-cers, who smiled back nervously.

(Continued on Page 5)

MAJOR ROBERT D. MILNERCHIEF OF RECONSTRUCTIONAL EDUCATION

Head of Educational StaffArrives Here From Washington

Major Robert D. Milner, SanitaryCorps, was commissioned as major,January 5, 1919, for special dutyoverseas, but before sailing orderswere revoked and he was transferredto the Surgeon General’s Office, Wash-ington, D. C. for duty in the Divisionof Food and Nutrition. The Work inthat division consists in determiningthe nutritive value of the food sup-plied to the Army and in makingnutritional surveys of the variouscamps.

He was connected for a short timewith the School of Nutrition Officersat Camp Greenleaf, Ga. Early thismonth he was transferred to the Sur-geon General’s Office for duty in theDivision of Reconstruction. Beforehe came to this Hospital he visitedthe Walter Reed General Hospital atWashington and General Hospital No.3 at Colonia, N. J. for obervation ofthe work in education and recon-'

struction in those institutions.In civil life Major Milner was

connected for a number of years withmanufacturing organizations of dif-ferent characters, with research inphysiological and biological chemistryin university and medical laboratoriesand in the Untied States Departmentof Agriculture, Washington, D. C.

Major Milner cfomes here as Chiefof Reconstructional Education.

“RECONSTRUCTION”

As defined by the Surgeon Gen-eral: “Physical reconstruction isthe complete medical and surgicaltreatment carried to the point ofmaximum restoration, both mentaland physical.”

WHY MEDICAL MENARE BEING RETAINED

IN THE SERVICEWHERE THERE’S LIFE

THERE IS HOPEThe first authoritative statement

bearing directly on the discharge ofenlisted men in the Medical Depart-ment has been received and is here re-printed in full.

1.—The Department realizes thatmany enlisted men of the MedicalDepartment are being retained in ser-vice who might well be considered asentitled to discharge under Circular77, War Department, as amended.

2.—Your sick and wounded com-rades must, however, be taken care of.The department is using every en-deavor to retain as many enlisted menof the Medical Department as pos-sible from organizations undergoingdemobilization. All men belonging tothese organizations who are willingto remain in active service for thepresent or who are not entitled todischarge under Circular 77, W. D.,will be retained in service and dis-tributed to General and Base Hospi-tals in order that all men at these in-stitutions may be discharged. Thenumber of men procured in this wayis, however, likely to be comparativelysmall and the department may becompelled in spite of its desires inthe matter to retain many enlistedmen who have given long and faithfulservice and who can present good rea-sons for asking for release.

3.—You, who are not so fortunateas to have seen service overseas, havea deep obligation to those who foughtand became casualties. They havemade their sacrifice; and yours is tobe retention in the service until theyhave been made as fit as possible forreturn to civil life. This is a dutyyou owe particularly to those whohave been wounded, and you would soconsider it had you been the one toreturn. By your service in the Armyand your patient waiting, with thedisappointment of not having seenoverseas service, you have shown ahigh brand of patriotism. The samestandard of unselfish devotion is moreimperative now than before, if theMedical Department of the Army isto feel that its duty toward the re-turned wounded has been well done.

4.—The Department can only re-quest its personnel, both commission-ed and enlisted, to be patient, to dothe work that is to be done to the bestof its ability, and to make still furth-er sacrifices if this is necessary inorder that the sick and wounded maybe given the treatment which has beenpromised them by the Department.

5-—lt should be remembered thatall officers and men now in the ser-vice came in for the emergency, andso far as the Medical Department isconcerned, the emergency is not yetover. ISigned 1

MERITTE W. IRELAND,,Surgeon General, U. S. Army.

ASYOUWERE March 1, 1919

That the vocational training whichmay be afterwards necessary to re-store his self-supporting activity isunder the jurisdiction of the FederalBoard for Vocational Education.

That if he needs an artificial limbor other orthopedic or mechanical ap-pliance, the government supplies itfree upon his discharge and renewsit when considered necessary.

That if, after his discharge, heagain needs medical treatment on ac-count of his disability the govern-ment supplies it free.

That on the satisfactory comple-tion of his training the FederalBoard, through its employment ser-vice, will assist him to secure a posi-tion.

That public authorities and otherlarge employers will in many cases,at least, give disabled soldiers andsailors preference when filling vacantpositions, provided they possess thetraining necessary tio> fill them.

All disabled soldiers, whether in orout of the hospital, should addresstheir communications either to theFederal Board for Vocational Educa-tion, Washington, D. C., or to thedistrict in which he is located.

ASYOUWERE

CORPORAL R. L. McNALLTRIES NEW ADVENTURE'

EVERY DISABLED SOLDIERAND SAILOR SHOULD KNOW

That the government is resolved todo its test to restore him to health,strength and self-supporting activity.

That until his discharge from hos-pital care the medical and surgicaltreatment necessary to restore himto health and strength is under thejurisdiction of the Military and Navalauthorities.

get a better position than he had before entering the service.

That if he fails to take advantage(of these opportunitieshe will find him-self badly handicapped when he isobliged to compete with the able-bodied men who come back after thewar.

That the Federal Board, throughits vocational experts, will study hisparticular disability and advise himas to the proper course to pursue,and give him free training for theoccupation best suited to him.

That the government strongly re-commends each man who needs it toundertake vocational training andput himself under the care of theFederal Board, but the decision to doso is optional with each man.

That if his disability does preventhim from returning to employmentwithout training and he elects tofollow a course of vocational train-ing provided by the Federal Board,the course will be furnished free ofcost, and he will also be paid, as longas the training lasts, a monthly com-pensation equal to the sum to whichhe is entitled under the War-RiskInsurance Act, or a sum equal to thepay of his last month of active ser-vice, whichever is the greater; butin no case will a single man, or aman required by his course of in-struction to live apart from his de-pendents, receive less than $65 permonth, exclusive of the sum paid de-pendents; nor will a man living withhis dependents receive less than $75per month, inclusive of sum paid todependents.

NEWS OF OURHOSPITAL SERGEANTS

Master Hospital Sergeant E. C.Kauffman has returned from a 20-dayfurlough. His rotundity has increas-ed four inches and his broad smile—well, it couldn’t be improved.

Master Hospital Sergeant A. 0.Miller and Hospital Sergeant W. F.Mathews are suffering from an at-tack of the grip. We wish them aspeedy recovery.

Hospital Sergeant Jesse G. Conoveris still prescribing hash and beans.We hope that he would try them him-self some day and then—oh, boy!

Hospital Sergeant Rollo Mullersays he is not working in the Regis-trar’s office; he is merely holding nsinecure there.

A PARKVIEW SECRET

Miss Ricca puffs her hair a 1her ears—a funny quirk;

She thinks it makes her look likeBilly Burke.

Miss Savyer tries to make her changeit, but she won’t,

And as for looking like Miss Burke—-she don’t!

As far as Corporal Robert L. MeNall, Bruceton, Pa., of the M. T. C.Detachment, is concerned the war hasjust begun. He went and did it! Yes,married! The Rev. E. J. Van Etten ofCalvary Church, East End, Pittsburg,tied the knot on Saturday, February15, at 5 P. M. Long way back to be'news, isn’t it? Yes, it but it wassupposed to have been kept a secretHowever, the truth will out. So hereit is. Oh, by the way, we nearly for-got the best part of the story, the bet-ter half. Her name is—or ratherwas—Miss Mildred Ralston Beam, ofLlewellyn street, East End.

According to the latest news theCorporal has signed the treaty ofpeace, and made his home in Aspin-wall. Best wishes to the Corporal and!Mrs. McNall from the Hospital and“ASYOUWERE.”

MAY STAY IN ARMYTILL JOB IS FOUND

The War Department does not de-sire to discharge any soldier who can-not obtain civil employment, accord-ing to a letter issued by Gen. Pey-ton C. March, Chief of Staff. Asoldier desiring to remain in the ser-vice until he can obtain employment,may do so upon his own written re-quest; and it is understood that sucha written request will not compel himto remain in the service for a longtime against his will. Any man whowould normally have Veen dischargedhad he not expressed a desire to re-main until he obtain employment, maythereafter be dicharged from theservice at his own request wheneverho thinks he may obtain employmentMen retained temporarily in this man-ner will be attached to the most con-venient unit and where this servicewill be most useful.

That any man whose disability en-titles him to compensation under theWar-Risk Insurance Act may beprovided by the Federal Board witha course of vocational training fora new occupation.

That if his disability does not pre-vent him from returning to employ-ment without training and he electsto follow a course of vocational train-ing provided Gy the Federal Board,the course will be furnished free ofcost to him, and the consequence pro-vided by the War-Risk Insurance Actbe paid to him, but no allowance willbe paid to his family.

That in addition to the above, thefamily or dependents of each dis-abled man will receive from the gov-ernment during his period of train-ing the same monthly allotment andallowance as that paid prior to hisdischarge from the Army or theNavy.

That upon completion of his courseof training, he will continue toceive the compensation prescribed bythe War-Risk Insurance Act, so longas his disability continues.

That in nearly every case, by fcl-lowing the advice and suggestions ofthe Federal Board, he can either getrid of the handicap caused by hisdisability, or acquire new powers toreplace any that may have been lost.

That if he is willing to learn andtake advantage of these opportuni-ties to increase his skill otfered himby the Federal Board, he can usually

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March 1, 1919 ASYOUWERE

OUTLINE Of COURSESIN HOSPITAL SCHOOL

WORK IN FULL SWING

The Educational Department hasalready outgrown its present quartersand is now moving to the East Wing,to the rooms and space formerly oc-cupied by the Administrative Officesof the hospital. The rooms will begiven over to the various classes,drafting, telegraphy, carpentry, auto-mobile mechanics, academics, type-writing, bookkeeping, tin and woodentoy-making, basketry, engraving andvarious other useful occupations. Thisis but a part of the curriculum andpresent indications point to a neces-sity of enlarging the courses givenand adding other to them. Thesecourses present many opportunities ofwhich every one should avail himself.The benefits to be derived are beyondpresent measurement.

In order that you may be fully ac-quainted with the educational oppor-tunities offered to you, while in thishospital, a brief description of thecourses of instruction now being con-ducted and those tlo be organized, isgiven herewith:

The departments are as follows:The Commercial Department, whereinstruction is offered in touch type-writing, shorthand and stenotypy,bookkeeping, arithmetic, penmanship’

business English, commercial lawsalesmanship and adding machinepractice.The Academic Department, whereinstruction is given in elementary,secondary and advanced adademicand civil service subjects. The coursesm this department offer excellent op-

portunities for mental occupation, anathe chance to review forgotten studies,or to acquire new ones.The Telegraphy Department, whereinstruction is offered in Morse andRadio telegraphy. (With the estab-lishment of the Merchant Marine, aemand for wireless operators canreadily be expected).The Engineering and Drafting De-partment, where instruction is offered

in elementary ana advanced median-ical, architectural, and topographicaldrafting, etc. The re-establishment■of delicate finger and hand control isone of the many possible curative ad-vantages of this work.The Cinematograph Department,where instructions is offered in motionpicture machine operating, repair andinspection. Film rewinding offers ex-

ceptional opportunity for educatingeither hand, and for developing in-creased motion in anklylosed Joints.The Woodworking Department,where theoretical and practical in-struction in automobile mechanics willbe given. This course, because of thegeneral interest connected with it, willpiove very valuable in physical re-education. A study of the movementsmade while making repairs and ad-justments on an automobile showsthat almost every motion needed as acurative measure is found in thiswork.

This opportunity to spend yourtime profitably is offered you, becauseit has been found that something tooccupy the time of a patient whilein a hospital promotes more certainand rapid recovery, both physicaland functional, because it diverts hismind from a contemplation of hishandicap and arouses some interestin his future. It is in fact, a part of

your treatment, and as such is aimedat one purpose, that of getting youwell and out of the hospital. Evenif you are to leave the hospital with-in a few days, you can learn some-thing that will be of value to you inyour future life, it is up to you totake advantage of these opportuni-ties. Make the best of your time.

RECONSTRUCTION AIDES

Have you met the ReconstructionAides yet? Yea, Boy, but I’ll saythey ought to be of considerable“aide” to us all. They have beenworking on Ward 9B for the pastweek, and the way that bunch in 9Bhave taken to bead chains, knitting,basketry, belt and dog leash makingis something worth a trip across thebridge to see. Miss Dearborn is theHead Aide, with the Misses Baldwin,Bancroft, Massey, Murphy, McCar-gar, Shay and Shoup as assistants.What’s more, there are more coming.I sure know I shall need a little “aide”myself. This ward work is aimed atgiving a fellow something to do whilehe is in bed, something to occupy hismind and at the same time give himsimple exercise of a curative nature.Most of the fellows in 9B are honestanyway. They all say “I’m makingthis chain for my mother.” Well, itlistens well, but honest girls, do youbelieve them?

School NotesA number of the n'on-English

speaking patients of the hospital willin days to come think of Private JohnOwen, Ward 88, with only real grati-tude. Private Owen, an overseasman, has given of his time and ef-forts unstintingly, in teaching aclass in English in the EducationalDepartment. He has made “Tony”say “girl” and not “gurl” so manytimes that Tony now says “my girl”like a native born American. Men ofOwen’s type are worthy of unceas-ing praise.

A fine example of what perserver-ance will accomplish is illustrated byPrivate Henry Mudge, Ward 98.Private Mudge came on crutches thefirst day the Educational Departmentopened. He wanted to spend his timewhile in the hospital in the mostprofitable way. He started Grahamshorthand, penmanship and typewrit-ing and after six hours daily plugging,Washington’s birthday included, heis well on the way to reaching hisgoal. He will finish the entire les-son book and be ready for dictationwithin a short time. Private Mudgeintends to use his shorthand in tak-ing notes when he enters law schoolin September. During this comingspring and summer he will use it inbusiness.

For “stick-to-ative-ness” PrivateCecil Click, Ward 2A, is deservingof a D. S. C. He can be found atany hour of the day in the Education-al Department studying typewritingand telegraphy. He is daily demon-strating what a man can do withone hand in bandage. Miss Johnston,head of the Commercial Departmentsays, “Cecil does as well on amachine with his one well hand andbandaged one, as some I have seenusing two well ones.”

Patients take notice! This paper isa part of the Hospital and so are you.Write for it, and write often!

A. L. A.Friends of the Library! It has

moved with the Educational Depart-ment to an alcove on the ground floorof the East Building.

This is to be the main library ofthe post. There are 2000 good, read-able stories, and within two weeksthere will be books in all branches ofstudy which the school teaches. Thereare also magazines and newspapers.

The library organizer, Miss Rose,was sent by the American LibraryAssociation to get you the books youneed and want, and a permanentlibrarian, Miss Wright, has now cometo take charge.

Miss Wright will visit the wardsregularly with her book-basket. Everyman in bed who is able to read andwho wants to do so may tell her whathe wants and she will try to get itfor him.

The Library is open to everyone inthe post. This means you—patients,detachment men, nurses, officers, RedCross and Welfare Workers.

If you don’t see the book or magaineyou want ,tell Miss Rose tor MissWright and they will do their best toget it for you.

WORDS FROM THE WARDS

Miss BiUggs, the heart-crusher,drove a lieutenant in the officers’ wardto drink. The poor thing!

Wanted—In the Orthopaedic ward.New and late victrola records.New and late reading matter.A night nurse. Detectives need not

apply.Furloughs for all men able to be

about.Four more massage artists.Uniforms for Privates Ryan, Wal

lace and Dibble.Three water stoppers for wash basins

Ryan and Wallace will not ask fora pass for many, many days. Lieut.Popkin knows why.

Captain—Have you boys plenty ofunderwear ?

Buck Privates—Oh, yes, plenty; butit’s all in the one suit.

Up in the Orthopaedic ward theyhave one long gazook whose feet reston the other fellow’s bed when hesleeps. They ought to get him a long-er bed or else shorten his legs.

Well-Earned Reputations in 9BKrause—The night hawk—Never in

before 3 A. M.Emrick—The Ward Cat—How he

meows!Sarver-—Fancy Work Artist-—You

ought to see some of his fine pillowcases.

Mechanic Krause is a patient inWard 98. From the time he spendsin the kitchen one would think he wasa kitchen mechanic.

Rosenberg (9B) is also doing fancywork and is now completing a finebelt.

Lieut (to him)—How long will thatbelt be when finished?

Rosenberg—One week.

Weeping and Wailing and Gnashingof Teeth!

Such was the noise heard in a se-cluded corner up in 88. Miss Sieg-fried investigated and found Jackson,Kerr, Addis, Cooke and Jonas, whohad been on light diet, struggling totake a bone away from a stray pupthat had wandered into the ward. Youshould hear this quintette rehearsethat famous song, “When Do WeEat?”

Walter Dunn, our nice little Titianblonde, has gained 22 pounds. It isnot his fault, but we wish him luck,anyhow.

Frank’s Version—Asked to define“lunch.”

Frank replied—“Lunch is what youget for dinner when you are convalesc-ing at Parkview Hospital.”

Attention! Orthopaedic Ward wouldlike to trade a few heart-mashers forone good soldier.

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ASYOUWERE

ASYOUWEREOfficial Publication of

U. S. Army General Hospital No. 24Parkview Station, Pittsburgh, Pa.

Published Every Saturday

Lieutenant-Colonel E. D. Kremers,Commanding Officer.

Lieut. William L, Munson... .AdviserSerg. I. A. Melnick EditorPvt. Karl A. Sapp Business Mgr.Pvt. V. H. Swanick.. .Asst. Bus. Mgr,Private Frank Drew Cartoonist

OUR POLICY

“ASYOUWERE” began businessas one of the many hospital publica-tions with but one aim in view andthat was to serve the officers and sol-diers of the Hospital as a means ofexpression and information, as anoutlet for the many humorous andperplexing situations that arise, anaas one of the methods of diversionand recreation so necessary in thesoldier’s life. We do not pretend topublish a literary or journalistic mas-terpiece, nor do we desire, on theother hand, to “level down.” We dowant to make our paper an expres-sion of the average soldier and try to.serve him as best we can.

In order to render efficient servicewe must be careful also that the con-cerns advertising in “ASYOUWERE”should be of the best and most re-liable kind. On several occasions spacehad been sought by concerns whoupon investigation were found to beundesirable. This paper can not ac-cept advertisements from any onedoing a business that we are unwill-ing to have the American soldierpatronize. Our policy is Service.

OUR OWNThe affair at the Carnegie Museum

last Saturday morning was a mostunprecedented and impressive eventin the history of our Hospital. Twoof Our Own decorated with the Dis-tinguished Service Cross by specialorder of Congress! Congratulationsto Captain McClellan and LieutenantMitchener for their valorous deeds! Itwas rightfully remarked by someonethat morning that if Congress wereto be just a little more diligent itwould have to award more than twocrosses at this institution. The menfrom “over there” convalescing atParkview comprise a set of fightersthat can be matched nowhere. Theoccasion of last Saturday morningwill bring back to them many memor-ies of heroic deeds nobly performed.To those who remained here thatevent served to bring vividly home themany trials and dangers that ourfighting men had to face. Theirs wasmore than a man’s job. But theyfought and won. All honor to them!

AS OTHERS SEE US

As they are, the men who are run-ning “ASYOUWERE,” the ParkviewHospital paper, are a pretty livelybunch.—“Pittsburgh Post.”

Your “infant number” bids fair tobecome lusty and crow before long.—“Over The Top”—Camp ZacharyTaylor.

Yes, Zach, it has crowed, a strongand lusty crow!

Private Jimmy Nicholson has justleft the editorial office with a broadsmile. Discharged! Good luck to you,Jimmy and beware of those wild NewYork women!

THE GREATEST MAN OF ALL(By Pvt. Max M. Triebitz)

Speaking of great men, I must con-fess,

We have thousands of them today,Men who have worked with heart and

soulAnd men who have shown the way.

We have Wilson, our President, thenoble commander,

Pershing, Lansing and McAdoo toremember,

Yet I have not mentioned all of greatfame

Men who possess an immortal name.

Now the greatest man to my estima-tion

Is the man who is now at large,The man who will come and say to me

Here, my boy, is your HONOR-ABLE DISCHARGE!

SOME THRILLS

By Anita Hayes KitchillI signed up for the Army—l thought

to get some thrills;Now I’m on my back in Parkview, a-

taking dope and pills.Oh boy! I got the thrills, you bet; and

then some, what say, Joe?Do you mind the thrills in the crater

when we gave that last hard blow ?

We lay in mud on our bellies, whileshells burst all around;

We both got touched by shrapnel, butarms and legs were sound.

We thought we both were goners withthe Jerries overhead;

While the gas burnt in our nostrilsand machine guns spit out lead.

But still we kept on pinking the menacross the line—

When heads showed us a Dutchy wegot there—boy o mine!

Bime by Joe got so groggy he couldn’tload his gun;

His face looked pinched and funny, Ithought his race was run,

But Joe was out for Dutchies, andsoon he caught his breath,

And, pank! another Hunman shookhands with grim old death.

We lay in that old crater all nightand half a day,

We didn’t, know what minute thething would come our way.

We trembled there in beastly mud;God bless the poor old dirt,

Hurrah! I hear the reveille—I love to hear it summon me;I love to get up in the morning, too,I do, I do—like hellido!

—The Trouble Buster.

Private (rushing away from bul-letin board) —Ye gods! It says thatas far as the Medical Corps is con-cerned the emergency has just be-gun!

Some rumor-monger has it thatSergeant Miller, our able and artis-tic carpenter, is devoting part of hisshop to reblocking hats. All socialbirds take notice!

A common sight—Corp. Dewey Mil-ler wandering about the wilds ofSharpsburg at 2 A. M.

Nurses’ NotesMiss Hoffman is so sad these days.

Why, they actually put up a solidwooden door between Isolation andWard 2A.

First Nurse—Why is love like aphotographic plate?

Second Nurse—You can’t fool me;I’m experienced. Because it needsa dark room to develop it.

Just then Miss Patton added—ButI prefer the kind of love that canstand the light.

Miss Patton—All you nurses oughtto save the photos in the front pageof “ASYOUWERE” and paste themin an album, some day they will makea fine relic.

Miss Whitehead—Yes, they willlook more like a funny paper.

Pittsburgh’s smoky, and it may bechoky,

But, believe me, it isn’t poky!

Miss Whitehead—l think five centsfor a paper like this is an enormousprice. Why, I can get the New YorkTimes for two cents.

Business Manager Sapp—That’snothing, I can get “The World” forfive cents.

Miss Lescher (to the editor)—Ifyou print my name in the paper, I’llnever speak to you again.

It saved our lives by hiding us, thoughwe were badly hurt.

By jinks! there comes a runner—

he’s coming on this way;Oh boy, but you look good to us—

“What’s the news?” we say.“Fightin’s stopped!” and he ran on;

things seemed to quiet down,But Joe’s old face took on a look of

Barnum’s circus clown.I got three bits —Joe, there, got ten —

he’s tryin’ out his leg,And he’s as proud as a cackling hen,

when she. lay her first egg.We got our thrills both Joe and I

I’m going home to Bess.I want no more ’twixt you and me, I

am glad we went. Oh yes!

Medical WoofsThis week’s question—Where does

Sergeant Eckelberry Sleep?

Private Sullivan wants to knowwhether regulations would permit himto wear his uniform back to Irelandupon discharge. Don’t worry, Sully,it’ll be worn out, moth-eaten, andquite aged by that time.

If Sergeant Whitaker were to bedetailed to “bed check,” the only bedshe would check would be in 2A, andit would take him all night to checkthem. Ask the Sergeant for thefeminine why.

The Fightin’ Q. M.’s! Ha! ha! Theonly place they fight is in the messhall.

Sergeant Melnick was so busy withlast week’s issue that the top kickthought he was A. W. 0. L., and be-gan making inquiries.

Sgt. Bom—Gee, but this is good po-tato soup; I could eat another bowlof it.

Sgt. Berkey—Why, you poor fish,you just ate up all the gravy.

About three months ago PrivateSaginaw walked into the “Y” and satdown. He is still sitting there.

The only difference between us andour next door neighbors at the Work-house is that they know when theyare going out, but we don’t.

March 1, 1919

COL. JOHN C. W. BROOKS

PARKVIEW HEROES GIVENDISTINGUISHED SERVICE CROSS

(Continued from Page 1)

CONGRESSMAN JULIUS KAHNof California

A GROUP OF PENNSYLVANIA HEROES OF THE 28TH DIVISION CONVALESCING AT PARKVIEW

AS YOU WERE

CAPT. ARNO S. McCLELLAN and LIEUT. JOHN H. MICHENER

After reading the message fromCongress Col. Brooks stepped first infront of Capt. McClellan, and, witha tew simple words, he pinned thecoveted “D. S. C.” on the breast ofthe man who, August 1, 1918, as asecond lieutenant, located and exter-minated several German machine-gun nests which had killed andwounded a large number of Ameri-can boys. One of these, so located asto give command of the surroundingterrain, fell before the rush of theYankees whom Capt. McClellan wasleading. The Huns suffered the pen-alty, and the nest was occupied bydoughboys. It was in this rush thatCapt McClellan received his wounds,but he refused to go to the hospitaluntil victory was assured.Lieut Mitchener/, a flying pilot)was with the First Aero Squadron onewes ein front, and had a thrillingexpeiience finding the Hun front linetrenches, during which he waswounded. His brave work won foihim the cross which Col. Brooks pin-ned to his coat before the large as-semblage. On real foggy days itwas with difficulty that movement ofthe enemy could be detected andaviators were the only hope. Flyingvery low Lieut. Mitchener advancedover the German lines, and was in-stantly met with a deadly spray ofmachine gun bullets. One of thesestruck him, l.jut being still conspicu-ous, he continued farther on to com-plete his mission, returning to hisown lines weak from the loss ofblood.

Following the meeting the assem-blage moved to the lawn on which thepole was erected. Here Hon. Jamesrancis Burke spoke a few words ofeu cgy to the soldiers, and also paid a

tribute to Private Thomas F. En-nght the first Pittsburgh soldierkilled in the war, and one of the first,three American soldiers killed inthe first battle in which Americanstook part. Mrs. Charles Trunzer, asister of Private Enright, drew theveil from about a beautiful Americanflag at the base of the pole, and, asNirella’s band played “The StarSpangled Banner,” Sergt. J. Sullivana wounded man, grasped thelanyards and hauled the flag to thetop, his gold service and woundstripes on either arm lending enthu-

siasm to the occasion. Cheers, whichlasted for several minutes, followedthe closing of the ceremonies.

The honor guest at the meetingproceeding the flag raising was Con-gressman Julius Kahn, of CaliforniaIn an address he said in part. “Fewpersons realize how deep the historyof George Washington, whose birthday we celebrate today, links withthe wonderful state of Pennsylvania.Braddock’s expedition to Pittsburghgave the colonists their first oppor-tunity to move for themselves. Withthe defeat of Braddock’s men, thecolonist learned that the troops •ofthe mother country were not invinc-ible, and the germ that eventuallycaused the Revolutionary War wassown then.” Referring to the sol-diers, and pointing to the rows ofwounded men in the front seats, In-stated: “You men have shown th?whole world that the citizenry of thecountry is at all times ready to re-spond to the call of the nation wherdanger threatens.”

Officers’ ColumnThe officers and nurses were de-

lightfully entertained on Friday even-ing, February 2, at “The Willows” inOakmont as guests of the Canoe Club.

Messrs. Anderson and Jones did theirpart well as hosts and the ladies ofthe Club served refreshments to thecomplete satisfaction of all. An or-chestra, composed of Oakmont talent,furnished music for the dancing whichwas enjoyed by about thirty couples.The members of “The Willows” haveshown a fine spirit of hospitality inthe entertainment they have offeredto the officers, nurses, patients andenlisted men of the hospital. Theirwork is very much appreciated as apart of the recreational and moraleprogram.

The Officers mess has been organ-ized as a separate institution, with afat sleek chef who is working hardto satisfy the longings of hungry offi-cers. Captain Wilbor is chairman ofthe Board of Control and LieutenantKennedy is mess officer. These offi-cers will receive all criticism grace-fully. But have a heart in expressingyour sentiments about the mess. Don’tthrow the new Haviland ware at theofficials in charge.

Major Cathcart, another of our“gone but not forgotten” officers, willbe remembered as a past master inthe art of story telling. One of hisfavorites was based on the probableoutcome of the war in regard to therelations between the white and blackraces. He told it one evening in the

Mess Hall to a group of interested fel-low officers. A young lady in Rich-mond, Va., of refined family had form-ed an acquaintance with a soldier bycorrespondence, and the acquaintancehad developed into a very intimate re-lationship. At last the soldier askedthe girl to marry him providing hehad made no misrepresentations toher, and she consented. The day ofthe wedding arrived, also the prospec-tive groom and he was as black asnight. But the young lady insistedthat she had given her word of honorand would stay by it. So they weremarried and are at present living ahappy life. The question arose wheth-er she should have married the man.One of the officers declared emphatic-ally that she should not on the groundthat he was a negro, to which theMajor responded, “Well, so was she.”

Lieutenant Robert J. Snider, ofWard 9B made an official call at the“ASYOUWERE” office on Tuesdaymorning bearing the greetings of thelittle colony of officers in that ward.He reports all well and that the onlything now to hinder the complete re-covery of the patients there is Lieut.Edwood’s ukulele.

We wonder where Major Pentlandhas been all the time since he receivedthe “most beautiful eyes” card. Be-hold how great a matter a little val-entine kindleth!.

ASYOUWERE March 1, 1919

OUR TRUSTY MOTOR CORPS MEN

Top Row—Privates W. Earhart, Shisler, Heister, Ford, Booth and Corporal MartinBottom Row—Private Myers, Corporal Moore; Sergeant C. Rosso; Private Zewe

Q.-M. QuirnrnsEveryone is wondering what Pvts.

Brunn and Burns were doing with theelectric curling iron.

A suggestion to the Red Cross men—Why not match Pvt. “Mike” Mich-aels against Frank Gotch? “Mike”has a new strangle hold that he saysis fatal. There is only one way tobreak it; take a deep breath, and cry“Oy oy.” “Mike” calls it the “Jew-ish Choke.”

Pvt. “Patsy” Riccio is unfortunate.They always mark him “Duty” whenhe goes on sick report.

KHAKI-CLAD HEROES FROM THEPARKVIEW HOSPITAL TO BE

HONORED WITH A BANQUET

“ASYOUWERE ”

OFFICIALLY BORNU. S, Army General Hospital No. 24,

Parkview Branch, Pittsburgh, Pa.Feb. 20, 1919.

(Hospital Order No. 75)I.—Under authority contained in

instruction 5.G.0., there is establishedat this hospital an official publica-tion which will be known as the hos-pital newspaper. The name chosen forthis paper is “ASYOUWERE.”

HAT’S OFF TO THE RED CROSS

(By Pvt. John P. McCullough)We take our hats off to the Red Cross,

They did treat us fair and square,For they worked so hard to help us

While we battled over there.They met us at the sea-ports

And at the stations everywhere,Oh. we always found a welcome

Over here and over there.We find them in the hospitals

Over here and over there,Working hard and toiling faithful

Doing more than is their share.So we thank the good old Red Cross,

It’s a flower so pure and fairThat will always be remembered

By the boys from here and there.

Y’BETCHA

[ Though Sergeant Cal is full of fire,; And his glare and air are both most[ dire;

Do you think that I would runIf ha showed to me some rum?S-a-y, if I wouldn’t fly, I’m a liar!

The Red Cross ought to buy up acandy factory for the nurses. Whysome of them are actually eating upthe cocoa-bntter used for massagingpatients. Of course, Miss Robinsonis not guilty!

Mothers of Democracy of Wilkins-burg, Pa., are planning to tender abanquet here early in March to theconvalescing soldiers at ParkviewArmy Hospital. The khaki-clad heroeswill be conveyed in automobiles andafter the dinner will be returned tothe institution in the machines, thusavoiding a long ride in either trainor trolley cars.

The affair is to be made an epochalone, and is to be held for the purposeof affording the local women an op-portunity to show their appreciationfor the kindness shown their own sonsin every part of the United States, andin England, France and Italy by ex-tending their attention to the braveboys from other places and from ourown borough, who are now in Pitts-burgh district recovering from woundsand sickness.

In add'tion to the dinner, it is quitelikely the honored visitors will be en-tertained also in a social way at manylocal homes and be invited guests ata special picture show in one of Wilk-insburg’s theaters.

MOTOR TRANSPORT CORPSMEN PROMOTED

Under authority of a letter datedFebruary 15, received from the ChiefMotor Transport Officer, Washington.D. C., the following enlisted men arepromoted to the rank of Corporal:Privates James A. Moore, Arthur 0.Dufour, Robert C. Martin.

2.—The purpose of this official pub-lication is to promote the morale ofthe hospital personnel, to serve as ameans of communication for the dis-tribution of information within thehospital regarding the care and treat-ment of the patients, to provide forthe education and curative therapy ofpatients in need of these and for therecreation of patients. The co-opera-tion of all is expected to make this

jpublication truly expressive of theI spirit of the hospital.

3.—The management of the hospi-tal paper will be placed in the handsof enlisted men especially selected anddetailed for this purpose. This man-agement will be under the advisorycontrol of an officer detailed to thisduty in addition to his other duties.This officer will be assisted in suchmanner as will promote efficiency bythe Morale Officer and the Chief Edu-cational Officer.

4.—The publication of the hospitalnewspaper will be utilized by the ChiefEducational Officer for the instruc-tion and treatment of patients, whenpracticable, by arrangement with theofficer in advisory control of the news-paper.

5.—A1l funds accruing from thesale of the newspaper and expendedupon its publication will be a part ofPost Exchange funds of the hospitaland will be accounted for by the PostExchange Officer who will keep a de-tailed account of such funds. Surplusfunds not needed for the publication ofthe paper will be taken up as PostExchange profits. All purchases andpayments will be made by the PostExchange Officer in accordance withPost Exchange Regulations.By order of Lieut. Colonel Kremers.

J. O. Brown,Captain Sanitary Corps.

Adjutant.

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March 1, 1919 ASYOUWERE

There is a French phrase whichias become almost a proverb becauseike all good proverbs it expresses agieat human truth. This phrase is

Noblesse Oblige.” It meant oncethat nobility of station—high socialposition—imposed on its holder cer-tain duties and obligations, such asmercy toward others, chivalry to-ward women, courtesy towardstrangers—in short, tire behavior ofa gentleman, or, as we shorten it, ofa gentleman.

This “noblesse” was that of socialstation. But there are other kinds ofnobility, that are less a matter ofchance and more lasting. One of thechief of those is the elevation of aman that comes from having dis-charged his duty strongly and wellm a no’ Je enterprise. When a manhas risen to the heights of self-for-getfulness and self-sacrifice thathave made him part and parcel ofche eternal forces that secure rightand justice for his fellow-men, he haslaid upon him seif-obligations whichhis self-respect will never let himignore or forget. When you havereached the elevation of participationin a noble enterprise, many thingsthat were formerly at your level arenow beneath you, and you wouldhave to descend to return to them.

What are the enterprises that haveennobled men on earth? They are.from the one which ended on theCross down through history to themission of the lion-hearted priest tothe Lepers’ island, enterprises thatcalled for suffering and death, butwhich have lifted these who sufferedand sacrificed to a position of nobilAy from which nothing can detract.Those Greeks at Thermopylae whocaim y combed tneir long hair before• e

+7erUface Death, and then died-n rowing back the barbarian wavemom ien native land, have lived in18 01 Y song for two thousandtoais, and will live on for centuries

o come. The Roman guard who■ ood to his post under the fieryiam from Vesuvius, furnishing anexample of discipline and composurecrowds surging by to safety, thoughhis name is unknown, holds an ex-•toed position among men forever.Wherever his story is told, peoplemow at once what “Rome” meant.

History is reckoned from one andanother of these great enterprises. In,| ,i” a Genoese, amidst suffering anderror-stricken companions, carried

°ot a tremendous enterprise. It waseot that he discovered more dirt andstones and trees on earth than anyoneiad ever known about before. Hei eally opened up for the human racea New World to inhabit, thus pro-viding the Old World with a place ofrefuge where oppressed men couldSiP away and begin life anew andunfettered by unendurable conditions°f poverty and unfreedom.

Amidst the sufferings of ValleyForge, three centuries later, the sol-biers of Washington wrought out anenterprise that resulted in these Unit-ed States, with all the freedom of lifeand of thought that first excited theenvy of the world, and then inspiredtheir imitation.

History is dated, I say, from suchenterprises. Our abbreviations, “B.H” and “A. D.,” are merely the dat-iug of all history from the death of

one great Pioneer, who fought whatlooked to be a losing battle, also—butone that turned out to be a resound-ing victory. We all know that mod-ern times date from the Discovery ofAmerica. Another great date is1789, that of the French Revolution,which resulted in the declaration ofthe Rights of Man. Every childknows what 1776 and 1865 havemeant in our history.

All these ordeals of suffering anddeath have dignified those who tookpart in them, so that it is painful, tohear of any one of them who everdescended to the common level inafter-life. It pleases one always tolearn with what dignity Washingtonlived out the remainder of his days,after the War of Independence.Americans are proud of the loftyminded Lee, who went quietly towork for a small salary, though of-fered much that was better, and livedas a model citizen in a united Re-public. There are enterprises sogreat and lofty that they shed theliluster upon those who took part inthem, and make thlose participatorswant always to live up to the levelwhich they have once attained.

It was not always clear to these wenow revere that they were living ina crisis-time. Generally they wei.*simply about what they consideredtheir duty, and it was only later onthat they came to realize the import-ance of what they were doing. Theyfelt it a duty and also a privilege tofight for their country, or their faith,or their dear ones. People have always felt that, amidst the bustleand noise of the modern world, theday of really great and ennobling euterprises was over.

We always think of the past as thetime of mystery and chivalry, offairies and giants, of crusades andhigh deaths and glorious fame.Things were said and done at theRound Table that are not done today.Today there is nlo Preston John, orRichard of the Lion-Heart, or JuliusCaesar', or Alexander the Great.Everything today seems to us to heat a dead level of mediocrity, becausewe live in it from day to day, and itdoes not impress us as anything ex-traordinary.

Yet in ages to come men will datehistory from the day we live in. Thenthey will account us as those whowere privileged to live in high andglorious times, taking part in highand exalted deeds. And why? Be-cause these last years have seenbrought to completion one of thosegreat world-enterprises that consti-tute the milestones of history. No suchgigantic struggle between right andwrong has ever taken place on earthas that which has just been glorious-ly finished. In it has been saved anddefended the very heritage of peoplewho will walk above our worn-outbodies a thousand years hence.

Was 1789 a great crisis-time?Yes, because out of it came theRights of Man. But out of ourtime came the Rights of Na-tions. Was 1776 a great date?Yes, because then was born thefreedom of a great Nation. But outof our time has been born no lessthan the freedom of the world itself—of all nations. We do not see allthis clearly, yet; but if we reflect onwhat would have happened if we hadnot won, we can see better what wehave preserved and safeguarded. Ifwe had not won, nation would havefaced nation in suspicion and hostil-ity. Freedom would have exist-ed, not for us all, but for ourbrutal oppressors. Our wives and

ers of old; less than the crew ofColumbus; less than the Spartans atThermopylae? Never; they are theequals of them all, and, judging fromthe magnitude and majesty of theiienterprise, they are greater than anyone of these. A dignity rests uponevery man who has fought and died;on every one who has fought andlived; on all who would gladly havefought, whether they were to die orlive; on all who supported andbreathed courage into the hearts ofthose in the front line—on the youth,the man in his prime, the man in hisold age, who strove to do what hecould, whether by fighting, working,or denying himself, and on the girl,the wife, the mother, who worked, orsacrificed, or went hungry at home.All are heroic. They need not fear;centuries hence they will be ascribeda nobility which, in their self-for-getfulness, they do not dream of now.

Noblesse Oblige! Their nobility-to-come imposes upon them the obligation that it shall in no wise betarnished, by what they do in therest of their lives. If they once catch,as they ought, the vision of whatthey have really done, they cannotdescend to the common again; theywill feel a dignity and self-respectthat must make them walk with quietworthiness nil their days.

Cincinnatus returned from beingDictator, and quietly took up hisplowing. The Father of his Countrydid much the same thing managinghis estate with economy and wisdomthat set an example to every gentle-man-farmer. Who doubts that Lin-coln would have reurned to civil life,to remain a tower of civic strengthas long as he lived? They all haveshown the sobriety of men who aresobered, though not made solemn orsad, by having borne great responsi-bilities, suffered much, and donegreat things for fellow-men.

So it is with you. You have had amatchless opportunity and you haverisen to heights of patriotism andsuffering and self-sacrifice. Com-monness ought now to be beneathyou, if you realize half of what youractions have accomplished. Be pa-tient! Soon you will read in the his-tory-books of your children what youhave done. Then let them look up toyou and think; “he lives as if he haddone these things.” Return now tocitizenship and private life, with allthe glory that is yours and live yourlives out with a Sobriety and dignityworthy of the opportunity that hasbeen yours and of the courage andfortitude with which you have met it,

LADIES’ TOAST TO SOLDIERSYour arms—our defense,Our arms—your reward.

Fall in!

ContributiSon ’Uxes have been plac-ed throughout the buildings. They arenot mail boxes. Don’t drop ylour let-ters into them, they may have to becensored before being published. Norare these boxes for cash contributions.Neither Sergeant Kauffman nor anyone else slifould drop into them theirodd pennies. We are not “broke.”But we may be “broke” of materialif you don’t write. So write and writeoften.

MEDICAL MTiD-“NOBLESSE OBLIGE”

children would not have been safe;our property would have been lessthan our own; our destiny wouldhave been gray and cold, instead oflighted with hope and warmed withconfidence.

A FEW MORE NURSES’ NOTES

Miss Ricca has two men on thestring. It’s like trying to row twocanoes with one oar.

SERVICE AND SELF RESPECT Miss Savyer requests that break-fast be served her in bed.

And those who have fought for allthis—are they less than the Crusad-

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ASYOUWERE March 1, 1919

WELFARE ACTIVITIESTHE WEEKLY CALENDAR

Sunday, March 2—Religious Services.8:00 A. M., Catholic Mass. 10:30A. M., Undenominational Services.Chaplain Shrover—“The Religionof a Man!” 7:30 P. M., Y.M.C.A.

Monday, March 3—Mrs. DußarryConcert.

Tuesday, March 4—Emergency Aide.Wednesday, March s—Minstrel5—Minstrel Show.Thursday, March 6—Y. M. C. A.Friday, March 7—Moving Pictures.

Home Talent.Saturday, March B—Moving Pictures.

K. OF C.

desire of the Secretary who will rep-resent the K. of C. War ActivitiesBoard at our Hospital to give ameasure of service, that will continueto merit the commendation and ap-proval of that legion of loyal Ameri-cans who by their zeal and generosityhere made the work of all welfareorganizations possible. “EverybodyWelcome—Everything Free” the K.of C. slogan will be the rule at Park-view Hospital Hut.

To officers, nurses, patients anddetachment men the invitation tomake the building their Sown is extend-ed and any of the branches will havethe liberty of using the building atany time and for any purpose that hasthe approval of the commanding of-ficer.

JEWISH WELFARE BOARDBRINGS BIG BOXING BOUTS

tation as the most clever boxers inthe game.

In addition to the Greb-Stevenson’lout, there were also bouts betweenHarry “Chick” Rodgers and YoungKetchell, and Jack O’Keefe and Bus-ter Brown. The whole affair w Tas oneof “pep” and action. Never beforedid the halls of the H/ospital resoundwith such outbursts of yells andcheers. Never before were the menso enthusiastic. The cleverness ofthe boxers and their swiftness ofaction pinned the interest of thosepresent.

When it is recalled by the writerthat some of these boxers were sched-uled that evening for bouts elsewherewhicn would have netted them thou-sands of dollars, they should be con-gratulated for their patriotic sacri-fice for the Parkview boys. The Jew-ish Welfore Board worked hard tosecure them, but its efforts were athousand-fold repaid with the know-ledge that our boys had a real “bully”time.

ADDITIONS TO MEDICAL STAFF

Two more officers have just arrivedfrom U. S. A. General Hospital No.23, Hot Springs, N. C. They are Cap-tain Frank Joseph Krebs and FirstLieutenant Francis Kleinman. Theyhave both been assigned to the Med-ical Service.

WIVES OF OFFICERSSTART SEWING CIRCLE

The wives of the officers at thispost under the leadership of Mrs. E.D. Kremers and Mrs. C. A. Staytonhave begun a sewing circle for thebenefit of the officers and personnelof this post. If you have any loosebuttons lying around bring them tothe circle and have shirts sewed on tothem. Workmanship and satisfactionguaranteed. All lonesome bachelorstake notice and learn the value of awife!

Construction work on the Knightsof Colum’rus building, the third of theRecreational Centers to be opened atthis Hospital, was begun this week.It is expected that the building willbe ready for occupancv in three weeksThe Hut will be one hundred and fivefeet long and thirty-five feet wide.The main assembly room is eight bythirty feet and will be used for gen-eral entertainment purposes aspicture shows, concerts, lectures anddances. There will be a library andwriting room. The smaller rloomsare for the use of the secretaries andthe offices. On Sundav morning andat other snecial occasions Catholicservices will, be held in the building,

Included in the enuipment now en-route or under order is a completemoving picture outfit consisting of aPowers machine, asbestos booth andpicture screen. The building will befurnished with a piano, victrola andcomfortable furniture.

As in every other camp and mili-tary hospital the Knights of Columbushere will spare neither effort normoney to make happy the hours ofthose stationed at this Hospital.Ready, willing and anxious at alltimes to work side by side and incomplete harmony with such meritor-ious organizations as the AmericanRed Cross, the Y. M. C. A. and theJewish Welfare Board and it is the

The Assembly Hall last Wednes-day evening was filled to capacity,with even the adjacent hallwayscrowded. Every man in the Hospital,who could possibly be present, cameto see the big boxing bouts arrangedby the Jewish Welfare Board. It wasa hard job to get the desired starsbut thanks to the untiring efforts ofMr. Leonard S. Levin, president ofthe Pittsburgh branch of the Boardthe men were finally brought out tothe Hospital. There was little in-troducing necessary. Everybodyknew the performers. Harry Greband “Mel” Stevenson of La Salle, 111both have earned a nation-wide repu-

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