continued on page 4

2S&YPPPublished by BS Central

515 2nd Ave. S Glasgow, MT 59230406-228-4558 fax: 406-228-4578

bscentral@nemont.net

Vol. 4, No. 124 Friday, August 7,

2015

(2nd half of story written by Katy Heinecke Staff Writer for the Sisseton Courier in SD ~ July 14, 2015 paper)

Farm Rescue to the rescue, as the Farm Rescue Program arrived to help at the Valnes Ranch. Many might have heard of the Farm Rescue program. It is a nonprofit organization that provides planting, haying and harvesting assistance free of charge for farm families who have experienced a major illness, injury or natural

disaster. Jaymes Mom, Janice Shanks, mentioned the program, Emits dad was made aware of it through Dacotah Bank (one of the sponsors), and Emits sister Mandy, and Chad Peterson of Broken Heart Red Angus also mentioned it to see if they could get help for Emit and Jayme. After the paperwork was submitted, within about two weeks, volunteer Keith Barkema was on site and ready to help with the first cutting of hay.

Bill Gross, Founder and President of Farm Rescue, has created quite a dynasty of volunteers helping in a time of need. Begun in 2005, the program reaches out to help in the states of North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, eastern Montana and Iowa. As of October 2014, his program has come to the aid of 300 farmers. RDO Equipment Company has been the exclusive equipment sponsor since the inception of the

Life can change drastically in an instant

On June 6, Emit Valnes, husband of Jayme (Shanks) Valnes was a passenger in a pickup with his friend and they were on their way to compete in a rodeo. The trip was cut short when another vehicle rammed into the passenger side, breaking Emits back. When it rains, it pours. Four days after Emit and Jayme returned home

from the hospital, Jayme experienced an accident of her own. In the process of selling a horse and loading it into the trailer, a young boy spooked the horse, right over the top of Jayme who suffered serious knee injuries, stretching her ACL and tearing her MCL and PCL. Farm Rescue to the Rescue!!!

Turning the heat back

up next weekTonight: Clear, with a low around 54. West northwest wind 8 to 13 mph becoming light and variable after midnight.Saturday: Sunny, with a high near 82. East wind around 5 mph becoming calm in the morning.Saturday Night: Low around 58, light east wind.Sunday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 86. East southeast wind 3 to 5 mph.Sunday Night: Low around 58. East southeast wind around 6 mph.Monday: Sunny, with a high near 91. Southeast wind 6 to 10 mph.Monday Night: Slight chance of showers and thunderstorms. Mostly clear, with a low around 61.Tuesday: Sunny, with a high near 94.Tuesday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 64.Wednesday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 95.Wednesday Night: Partly cloudy, with a low around 65.Thursday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 92.

Real Life WisdomMoney will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

Concussion testing next week All students entering grades 6-12 who will be involved in ANY extra-curricular activity must have a current ImPact concussion test on file. Students WITHOUT current ImPact concussion tests will not be allowed to practice or participate in any extra-curricular activities. Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital is again sponsoring the ImPact testing, which will be conducted on Thursday & Friday, August 13 & 14 at 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. in GHS Room 6. No appointment is necessary. Students who were tested in 2014 or 2015 do not need to be tested at this time. Consent forms and information packets are available on the Glasgow Schools website: www.glasgow.k12.mt.us Concussion Awareness Packets in the left side Navigation bar. Call Mr. Barstad for more information 406-853-6689.

ATTN: athletes grades 6-12

4:10PM 7:15PM9:20PM

106 Min.

4:00PM 7:00PM9:10PM

PG-13

PG-13

DAILY CINEMAS: 4:00 & 4:10 PM - $6.00/PERSON

228-9239 www.polsontheatres.com

August 7 - 13 SHOWINGS

FREE POPCORN TUESDAY! FREE POPCORN WITH EVERY PAID ADMISSION

105 min.

Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell. FANTASTIC FOUR, a contemporary re-imagining of Marvels original and longest-running superhero team, centers on four young outsiders who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.

for some language and suggestive comments

for sci-fi action violence, and language

Cast: Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan As kids in the 1980s, Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler), Will Cooper (Kevin James), Ludlow Lamonsoff (Josh Gad), and Eddie The Fire Blaster Plant (Peter Dinklage) saved the world thousands of times - at 25 cents a game in the video arcades. Now, theyre going to have to do it for real. In Pixels, when intergalactic aliens discover video feeds of classic arcade games and misinterpret them as a declaration of war, they attack the Earth, using the video games as the models for their assaults -- and now-U.S. President Cooper must call on his old-school arcade friends to save the world from being destroyed by PAC-MAN, Donkey Kong, Galaga, Centipede, and Space Invaders. Joining them is Lt. Col. Violet Van Patten (Michelle Monaghan), a specialist supplying the arcaders with unique weapons to fight the aliens.

BUZZIFIEDSTHRIFT STORE Will be closed Saturday, August 8. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. SOROPTOMIST THRIFT STORE - DONATIONS WELCOME. BUZZFARMERS MARKET Saturday, August 8, 8am - 3pm Fresh cukes, beans, beets, rhubarb, kohlrabi, onions, new potatoes, leeks, radishes, lettuce. Vegetables will be added each week when ready. Fresh homemade baked goods, jams and jellies, fresh fruit and Rita will be a vendor this week. Complimentary coffee and cookie available. We will be accepting wic checks again this year. Hope to see you there. Thanks for supporting your local Farmers Market. LOCATED AT THE RED ROCK PLAZA (ACROSS FROM COKE-PLANT) BUZZMULTI-PARTY YARD SALE: Friday, August 7, 3-8pm, Saturday, August 8, 8am-1pm. Camping, fishing, mens womens and childrens clothing, kitchen, antiques, canning supplies, reloading equipment. Everything must go, Priced to Sell. 7 FIRST AVE. SBUZZGARAGE SALE: Saturday, August 8, 8am-12 noon, Misc. household, adult clothing, and kids clothing. 630 8TH ST. NBUZZYARD SALE: Saturday, August 8, 8am-12 noon, Girls clothes (lots of size 7), boys clothes, womens clothes, household items, books, Christmas decorations, toys. 927 JET DRIVEBUZZRUMMAGE SALE: Saturday, August 8, 8am-12 noon. Household, craft supplies, fabric, vintage dcor, old trunk, gardening. 439 6TH AVE. SBUZZMULTI-PARTY RUMMAGE SALE: Friday, August 7, 5-8pm, and Saturday, August 8, 8am-1pm. Loads of stuff, anything and everything, priced to sell. Furniture, pictures. 803 2ND AVE. S.BUZZFLEA MARKET RUMMAGE SALE: Saturday, August 8, 8am-12noon. Space available for vendors, no charge for vendors. ST RAPHAELS PARISH BUZZOPEN FOR BIDS: Garage door: 11x12 electric garage door. 747: 1980 International model F-4370 tractor/tailor. 3,000 gal water tank w/ trailor mounted diesel pump. Another pump engine included. Can be seen @ Fossum Ready Mix. 715: 1990 K2500 5.72 V8, 4x4, auto trans. 150,100 miles w/ utility box. Can be seen at Long Run Fire Dept. Bids to be received at County Commissioners Office. Bids close August 7, 2015 at 12:00 Noon. QUESTIONS ON ITEMS REFERRED TO 406-263-5733BUZZMAINTENANCE MAN/CARPENTER WANTED: Part time or full time depending on the individual or couples situation. The position would include renovating and maintaining rental properties at St. Marie. Call 406-480-1116 BUZZWANTED: Someone who is experienced selling items on EBAY to sell antiques and Art through the internet. 406-480-1116

BUZZHELP WANTED: Campbell Lodge is looking for part-time or full-time help for afternoon shift 3-11pm. APPLY AT CAMPBELL LODGEBUZZEZZIES MIDTOWN is looking for 2 full time help positions. Starting wage is $10.00/hour with some benefits after a 3 month probationary period. Shifts are 9am -7pm or 1pm-11pm Sunday-Thursday or 2pm-12am Friday and Saturday, including weekends and holidays. Some duties include waiting on customers, filling propane, stocking inventory, and making sure store is clean. Applicant must have good customer service skills. ANYONE INTERESTED CAN PICK UP AN APPLICATION AT THE STATION.BUZZ

3 RESOURCE / CLASSROOM AIDE POSITIONS: Duties are to assist teachers in the classroom and other duties as assigned. Starting wage is $11.89/hr, 12.29/hr after 3 months; benefits include vacation pay, sick leave and retirement. Position open until filled Complete and submit Classified Application on our website. WWW.GLASGOW.K12.MT.US, EMPLOYMENT TAB - CLASSIFIED POSITIONS. INITIAL SCREENING BEGINS AUGUST 10, 2015. INITIAL SCREENING BEGINS AUGUST 17, 2015. CALL 228-2406 FOR MORE INFOBUZZCUSTODIAN - GLASGOW HIGH SCHOOL: Duties include cleaning, maintaining, repairing, lifting, moving, delivering, etc. Twelve month, full-time position. Vacation & sick leave. Health insurance available. Work hours are 6:00am - 2:30pm. Wages are $12.80-$15.40/hr DOE. Start date is August 24, 2015. APPLY AT: WWW.GLASGOW.K12.MT.US - EMPLOYMENT TAB - CLASSIFIED POSITIONS. INITIAL SCREENING BEGINS AUGUST 10, 2015 BUZZSATELLITE COOK - IRLE KITCHEN: Duties are set up, serve, and clean up for breakfast and lunch. Work hours are 6:30am - 2:30pm. Probationary wage is $10.97/hr, increasing to $12.84/hr after 3 months. Start date is August 27, 2015. APPLY AT: WWW.GLASGOW.K12.MT.US - EMPLOYMENT TAB - CLASSIFIED POSITIONS. INITIAL SCREENING BEGINS AUGUST 10, 2015 BUZZCOTTONWOOD INN is seeking housekeeping help. Part-time, Full-time shift from 8am - 4:30pm weekends included. Starts @ $9.50/hr. APPLY AT COTTONWOOD INN OR ONLINE AT COTTONWOODINN.NETBUZZCOTTONWOOD INN Is looking for a waiter/waitress and busser. Days and shifts will vary. APPLY AT COTTONWOOD INN OR ONLINE AT COTTONWOODINN.NET BUZZFOR RENT: 2 bedroom unfurnished apt. Laundry on site. No pets, no smokers. Rental assistance available to qualified tenant. INQUIRE AT NEW DIRECTIONS BEAUTY SALON 228-4577BUZZSHORT-TERM RENTAL AVAILABLE: Aug. 15 to Sept. 31. Downtown, 2 bed 2 bath. No pets, No smoking. Second Floor, No elevator. 263-4893BUZZFOR RENT: 3 bed, one bath home garage. Asking $540/ month rent. CALL HELLAND AGENCY INC. 228-2114.BUZZFOR RENT: 1,800 sq. ft. 4 bedroom, 3 bath apartments in Glasgow. 2 car garage. New construction. $1,500/mo. + $1,500 deposit. 3 units available. CALL JOHN AT 406-263-2046 BUZZROOM FOR RENT In Nashua. Furnished. CALL 406-263-3567BUZZFOR RENT: 3 bedroom units with newer furnace, hot water heater, linoleum, and counter tops. $500 Save on utilities! CALL 406-524-3742BUZZFOR SALE: 1992 Jayco 32 5th Wheel Camp Trailer. Slide Out. To see camper contact Valley Bank at 228-4364. Sealed bids accepted through Monday, August 10. Sold as is! VALLEY BANK RESERVES THE RIGHT TO ACCEPT OR REFUSE ANY OFFER.BUZZFOR SALE: 1978 RV Class A 30. 440 engine, 4 barrel carb, new battery, tires like new, all accessories. NADA low book $8,000, Sell for $3,200. Clean title, nice outfit. 406-403-5425 OR 406-899-0033 LOCATED AT 106 FOX FARM RD BUZZFOR SALE: Beige rocker recliner chair. Good condition. $50. CALL 228-2761 328 6TH ST. S APT. 2 BUZZFOR SALE: 1979, 26 ft Marathon motor home. Chevy chassis, 400 V-8, 38,000 miles, very clean. Onan generator, roof air, furnace. $3,950 CALL 263-4515

Brenda Cook

Farm Rescue program. They sponsor the best available John Deere equipment to ensure an outstanding job is done for the assisted farm families. There are 20 auto dealerships in the Red River Valley of Minnesota and North Dakota that have supplied top-of-the-line Chevrolet pickups for the program. Wilson Trailers supplies trailers to transport the necessary equipment. The program is funded by donations from businesses, organizations and individuals that support Americas tradition of independent family farms and strong rural economies. Funds are not distributed to the farmers. Donations are used to pay for the many expenses associated with planting, harvesting and haying of the crops. The board of directors and the president are volunteers, as well as all of the folks you see on the road and in the field. You are able to visit farmrescue.org to apply for assistance or to refer a family in need, or call 701-252-2017. Keith Barkema of Klemme, Iowa, has been a volunteer with the program for just over a year. He himself farms about 600 acres and operates five semis on his 140-year-old family farm. He was pleased to be able to help with eight different families last year and he

definitely enjoys helping others through his volunteering. He saw an advertisement in the Green Sheet and farm magazines but decided at first that he just didnt have time to give up being away from his own farm operation. His son helps at the farm, so it is easier for Keith to pick up and leave to help others as needed. He was in the Sisseton area last fall and was familiar with the area. Hes been very glad that he changed his mind and joined this great operation. His wife helps out at a nearby state fair promoting the Farm Rescue program. He received a message while on vacation that they were in a bind and they needed someone to bale hay near Sisseton, SD. He didnt hesitate for a moment and made plans to be at Emit and Jayme Valnes in their time of need. He was able to spend a week on the ranch and baled over 400 bales for Emit. Neighbor Kevin Brooks was around to cut the hay and offer his assistance during the week. Keith formed a nice relationship with Emit and his father, David immediately. Emit still has 400 acres to get mowed and baled. On the day I spoke to Keith, the guys had already stacked 700 bales that day. The Farm Rescue program paid for the motel expenses, but the Valnes family insisted on making meals and paying for his meals at Club Eden while he was here helping them.

Life continued from front

Jason and Tiannas 9.69, 8.25, Tyler and Ryans 9.40

Handshakes, Thank Yous and Tears are my pay

Keith shared stories of farmers that he has worked with in the last year and what an honor it has been for him to be able to help. He recalls a specific situation when he went to the field to tell two brothers that he was done and said his goodbyes. The one guy cried on my shoulder, saying goodbye. I dont need to be paid; that is my pay. That one I will remember for a really long time. He enjoys when he is driving along the highways and interstates and all of the waves of appreciation he gets. Its good; its all good, he says. He enjoys meeting and visiting people at each of the communities that he volunteers in. He recalls a time in one rural community where he went to pay for his meal, only to find out that one of the farmers had picked up his tab. It is a very rewarding job, and I am glad I am able to help others in their time of need, stated Barkema. With people like Keith and the Farm Rescue program, along with generous and caring family, neighbors, and friends, the Valnes family is going to survive. Each day will be a struggle but they will do it together, as they still have each other. Good news was received at Emits follow-up appointment. The T12 chip is fusing to the vertebrae and has pulled away from the spinal cord, relieving pressure so they dont think surgery will be necessary. There is a slight chance of needing to install a rod in his back for stability but that wont be a huge issue for this cowboy. Other bruising was found on some vertebraes since the initial hospital stay, but it will heal in time. If Emit continues to progress at the current pace, he could be out of his back brace in early September. It teaches us to not take life for granted, as it can change in a moments notice, so make the most of every day you have and live life to the fullest.

Note from Janice Shanks: When I came back home, I stopped in at John Deere to see if they had any more information about Farm Rescue and they had not heard of it before. This really surprised me since all of the equipment from RDO Equipment Company is John Deere equipment. Farm Rescue covers the states of North Dakota, South Dakota Minnesota, Iowa and eastern Montana. If our own local John Deere has not heard of the Farm Rescue program before, maybe there are other farmers and ranchers in our area who have never heard of it either and could use the help, or know of someone who could.

Now accepting applications. Apply in store.

Looking for energetic team players with great customer service and a friendly smile.

Were Having aCookout

Classmates & Spouses of 198035 Year Mini-Reunion

Sat., Aug. 8th 5:00pm

at DeDee (Ashpole) Hicks1209 3rd Ave. SouthGlasgow, Montana

Please RSVP DeDee:Text or Call 263-4357

Please Bring a Side DishBYO Beverage and Lawn Chair

Senior Citizen Center

LasagnaCall for reservation by 10 AM

228-9500

MONDAY

Bone-In Pork Family PackSTEAKS..............................$1.99/lb.Johnsonville 19 oz. Sel. Var.SAUSAGE & BRATS..................5/$20Stones 1 lb. 85% Lean 15% FatGROUND BEEF PATTIES........... 5/$20Stones 1 lb. 85% Lean 15% Fat Stones 1 lb. 85% Lean 15% Fat GROUND BEEF........................5/$20Western Family 16 oz.STRING CHEESE...................... 5/$20Jennie-O 1.25 lb. 93% Lean 7% Fat GROUND TURKEY....................5/$20

AUGUST 5 - 11

Hairstyles for All AgesCuts, Colors & Perms

(406) 853-5100LeAnn Murnion

Cosmetologist330 4th Ave S. Glasgow, MT

TanglesSalon

The Fort Peck Sailing Club once again sponsored a Poster contest. Students from the Nashua High School Art Program were invited to create painted works of art representing sailboats racing on Fort Peck Lake. A total of 18 students produced art. The students art teacher was Ms. Jamie Hanson. This is the second year the Nashua High School has created art for the poster. Ms. Hansons class depicted sailboats with colorful sails, great backgrounds of green grass lands, beautiful sunsets on the waters of Fort Peck Lake and the ever-present Fort Peck Dam power houses. The 2015 winner of the Regatta poster contest is Natasha Chamberlain.Natasha is a Junior at the Nashua High School.

Natasha Chamberlain wins poster contest

Her depiction of white sailed sailboats beating up through the beautiful blue waters next to the Fort Peck Dam was vividly colorful. The vistas from below the dam were created with a glorious multitude of purples, oranges, yellow and red. The artwork is used as the centerpiece of the Regatta poster. The poster is used in advertising the Can-Am

Fort Peck Sailing Regatta. The 2015 event will be held at the Fort Peck Marina August 14-16. Sailors from Fort Peck Lake, Alberta Canada and Montana are participating in the 2015 Can-Am Fort Peck Sailing Regatta. Thank you to all the Nashua High School art students for participating in this years event. You all did an outstanding job.

2015 Can-Am Fort Peck Sailing

Volunteers & Spectators are Welcome!

Fort Peck Lake MarinaAugust 14-16, 2015

Markles, Inc.

Stillwater Brew

REGATTA

Pintos Fan Club

Apparently there is a company out of Texas calling local people about donating $400 to have their name on Pom Poms as a fundraiser for the cheerleaders. One company is endorsed one is NOT and the one that is not appears to be calling local businesses right now. Glasgow High School Cheerleaders only endorse the

use of the company Spiritstop out of Texas for their fundraising needs. If you receive a call from a company about donating money, please clarify the name of the

company and ask for a copy of the confirmation page signed by our cheerleading advisor. All other requests that cannot produce this proper information are seeking funds without the endorsement of the

cheerleaders and GHS. Please contact GHS Administration if you have any further questions.

Scammers targeting our Scotty cheerleaders & Scotty fans

Is Your RideBusted?

NORTHEAST MONTANAS FORD HEADQUARTERSCall Jerry, Josh or Norm 228-2141 866-528-2141

Check us out on the web for more great deals www.hilineford.net

Go see the Boys at Hi-Line Ford Today!

Nominations are open to fill three vacancies on the Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital Board of Trustees. The three-year terms will begin January 2016. Interested persons may submit their name and brief auto-biography to:

Names must be submitted by 5 pm. on September 10, 2015 for consideration. Applicants must be a resident of Valley County

Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital BOARD OF TRUSTEES

Frances Mahon Deaconess HospitalAttn: Karen Breigenzer, Board President

621 3rd Street SouthGlasgow, MT 59230

Offered by: Karen Waarvik, Broker/Owner(406) 228-2525 -

www.redfoxxrealestate.com

#258

BEAUTIFUL HOME ON 4.41 +/- ACRES Views are never ending in this 3520 +/- sq. ft. home built in 2005 with 4 bedrooms, 1 sleeping room, 3.5 baths including a master bath. Open living floor plan has large kitchen, dining room and living room with vaulted cathedral ceilings. Master bath has jetted soaking tub and a private deck to sit and enjoy the wonderful view. The large 1752 sq. ft. daylight basement has a large family room and storage galore! Geo Thermal heat; and low maintenance siding, and the double attached over sized garage are just bonuses!

asking $380,000

Remembrance Tent is back Organizers of the Northeast Montana Relay for Life are looking for articles, obituaries, pictures of your loved ones, poems, or other items to be placed in the Remembrance Tent at this years event to honor loved ones or friends who have lost the battle to cancer. Committee member Debbie Heitman will have copies made so no harm will come to valued items. Call her at 228-8380 or 939-8380 or you can drop them off at 837 6th Avenue South in Glasgow. The committee does a great job with a beautiful layout in the Remembrance Area, with beautiful music playing in the background, walls of memory items and a place to just sit and listen to the music to remember your loved ones who have lost their lives to cancer. The Northeast Montana Relay for Life will be held at the Northeast Montana Fairgrounds in Glasgow beginning at 7:00 on the evening of Friday, August 14th and concluding Saturday morning, August 15th, at 9:00. The luminaria ceremony is Friday, August 14th at 10:00 p.m. Everyone is encouraged to come out and take a lap or two... or three... or four...

Late Nite Laffs

Describe yourself in 3 words:1. Lazy

53999Hwy 2 W

Call 228-2715 or 263-1249Batteries Towing Repair

GLENNS AUTO REPAIR &

WRECKER SERVICE

SPECIALS:

THE HANGAR

We Now Serve Milk Shakes

Have your parties hereBOOK NOW!

Hwy 2 East 228-8280

FRIDAYSoup: Clam ChowderLunch: Shrimp Burger

Dinner: 5 pc. Breaded Shrimp

SATURDAYSoup: Cooks ChoiceLunch: Lucy BurgerDinner: 8 oz. Sirloin

SUNDAYSoup: Cooks ChoiceLunch: Pizza Burger

Dinner: Hamburger Steak

MONDAYSoup: Cream of Potato

Lunch: ReubenDinner: 2 pc. Liver & Onion

A GREAT PLACE TO HANG OUT!

ONLY AT YOUR LEADING EDGE PLACEIN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!

$2.50 Bud Light & Old Milwaukee Light Drafts!

Bar Opens at 10am

STEELERS vs. VIKINGSSUNDAY AT 6:00PM

Asking $59,000

Nice level 1.3 acre building lot just 1 mile

from Glasgow in Sunny Hills Sub Division.

Has approaches built and is signed up for Dry Prairie Water.

Sunny Hills Subdivisionwww.hellandagencyinc.com

CALL TODAY 228-2114 or 263-211320-958

BUILDING LOT FOR SALE GREAT VIEWS

Catfish Classic

Old Mil Light/Reynolds put the bats to Wolf Point McDonalds 19-8 in the Glasgow Recreation Departments Co-Ed Softball Leagues title game Wednesday night. Pictured back row, left to right:

Adam Johnson, Cody Odom, Juice Fischer, Evan Guenther, Joel Smith and Brian Burleson. Front row are Jen Fischer, Kiauna Barstad, Sadie Sukut, Sage Sukut, Mariah Stein and Jesse Carlson.

GRD Softball Champs... Again!

Custom Carpentry Roofing Repairs Windows Doors Kitchens BathsCall Shawn Beard 230-1025

Email: beardhi@gmail.com Licensed & insured Free Estimates

Here are the fun and educational activities taking place this weekend at the Fort Peck Interpretive Center: Friday, August 7th: Learn about the phases of the

moon and then decorate your own! Saturday, August 8th: Want to see constellations

any time of day? Come make your own constellation viewer!

Sunday, August 9th: Learn all about the planets and then make your own!

At the Fort Peck Interpretive Center

Friday Funnies by Sugar

A little boy was watching TV and asked, Dad, what does gay mean? Happy son, his father replied, it means happy. Oh, said the son, and then asked, Are YOU gay Dad? No son, his father replied, I have a wife.

So, I was walking through the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim Book Store. I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didnt look like his normal clientele, so I asked, Do you have a copy of Donald Trumps book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal immigrants? The clerk said, Get the hell out and stay out! I said, Yes, thats the one. Do you have it in paperback or hard cover?

A man is trying to catch the bus, hes running and every time he almost makes it he stumbles and falls. The crowd on the bus is laughing their butts off. A lady opens a window and yells to the man, Please stop it, we will wee our pants! To which the man replies, Thats nothing! Soon you will be crapping your pants, because Im the bus driver!

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs. Odd, her companion replied, But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do. Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. Two dogs, please, said one. The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their dogs. The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, What part did you get?

Food Served all Week LongFort Peck

Hotel

The Historic

AFTER THE SHOW, ENJOY...

Dining Room Hours: Friday & Saturday 5:00-8:00pm

Sunday 5:00-7:00pmBreakfast: Saturday & Sunday 7-10am

Gourmet Burgers Coconut Shrimp Chicken BasketsAlong with the Classics:

Walleye Surf n Turf Sirloin SteakFAST SERVICE

175 S. MissouriFort Peck, MT

406-526-3266

July 31, August 1, 2, 7 ,8, 9, 14, 15, 16

August 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, September 4, 5, 6

406.526.9943 fptheatre@nemont.net www.fortpecktheatre.org

Box Office Hours: Wed-Sun 12-4

Fridays & Saturdays 7:30 pm Sundays 4 pm