aunt polly huck jim widow douglas miss …jeffgoode.com/scripts/huckfinn/huckfinn.pdf · huck you...

The Abbreviated Adventures of Huck Finn by Mark Twain

by Jeff Goode

copyright © 2015

CAST OF CHARACTERS (3F, 2M)

The GIRL who plays AUNT POLLY and later TOM SAWYER

The BOY who plays HUCK

The BOY who plays JIM

The GIRL who plays WIDOW DOUGLAS and KING and several others

The GIRL who plays MISS WATSON and DUKE and several others

SCENE - THE SCHOOL PLAY

(Enter THE GIRL WHO PLAYS AUNT POLLY and is apparently in charge. She curtsies.)

POLLYThe Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, also known as Huck Finn, by Mark Twain, also known as Samuel Clemens, American humorist 1835 to 1910.

(She starts to leave, but comes back.)The end.

(She starts to leave again, but comes back)Of the title, I mean. The play is just starting.

(Awkward silence.)I play Aunt Polly.

(Awkward silence.)The end.

(She quickly runs offstage.)

(Lights up on THE BOY WHO PLAYS HUCKLEBERRY FINN. He nervously reads from a script and clearly has not had time to memorize his lines.)

HUCKYou don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer--”

POLLYLouder!

HUCK(louder) “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer--”

POLLYAnd where's your hat?

HUCKI don't want to wear the hat. It's stupid.

POLLYIt's historically accurate. Give him the hat.

(THE GIRL WHO WILL PLAY WIDOW DOUGLAS enters with a straw hat and hands it to Huck.)

POLLYYou gotta wear the hat or how is anybody gonna know you're Huckleberry Finn?

HUCKBecause you just told them?

POLLYJust wear that hat!

(Huck puts it on, fuming.)

HUCKAnyways, that book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth mainly, with some stretchers, but mainly he told the truth. I never seen anybody but lied, one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly--

POLLYLouder!!

The Abbreviated Huck Finn by Jeff Goode -- 2.

HUCK(louder) Without it was Tom's Aunt Polly, or maybe the Widow Douglas. Now the way that book winds up is: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave and we got to keep it as a reward. The Widow Douglas adopted me and tried to bring me up proper.

(The WIDOW DOUGLAS enters and smothers Huck with affection.)

WIDOWOh, my little Huckleberry! My poor lost lamb! (pinching his cheeks) I'm going to make it my mission in life to civilize you. (poking and prodding him) Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Clean up your room. Did you wash behind your ears?

HUCKFrom time to time, her sister Miss Watson would come stay with us.

(Huck gestures toward the front door and JIM bursts in, loaded down with luggage.)

JIMHowdy!

(Huck and the Widow stare at him, puzzled by this casting choice.)

WATSON(offstage) Oof! Jim! Oof, you're blocking the doorway. Let me in!

(MISS WATSON squeezes past Jim and into the room.)

WATSONOof!

WIDOWSister! There you are!

WATSONHere I am! Jim, would you take my bags up to the guest room? And tell the others they can go work in the fields or something until suppertime. The two of us need to catch up.

JIMYou and me?


WATSONNo, Jim, my sister and I.

JIMSo I'm just here to carry the bags?

(He exits, grumbling to himself.)

WATSONI hear you muttering under your breath, Jim. Mind you don't catch a switchin'!

HUCKSo like I was saying, Miss Watson would visit from time to time.

WATSON(to Widow) Ooh! Is that him?

HUCKSo then there was two of 'em.

(They both rush over to Huck, poking and prodding.)

WIDOWStand up straight.

WATSONWipe your nose.

WIDOWWipe your feet.

WATSONWipe off that grin.

WIDOWTake off that hat in the house.

WATSONWhy don't you behave?

HUCKThen Miss Watson took a set at me now with a spelling-book.

WATSON(pinching his cheeks) I'm going to make it my mission in life to educate you.


HUCKShe worked me middling hard till about suppertime and then they had to call in the-- (to Polly) I can't say this word.

POLLYWhat word?

HUCK(substituting) --the people. They had to call in the people from the fields to have supper and everybody went to bed.

POLLYWhat people?

HUCK(squirming) You know… the people who worked for Miss Watson. (pointedly) For no pay. (more pointedly) Because they were… (can't think of another word) people.

POLLYYou mean, slaves?

HUCK(relieved) Yes, slaves.

POLLYYou can say the word "slaves". It's not a bad word.

JIM(poking his head in) No, he can't.

POLLYJim, it's not your entrance. Go back offstage and wait for your cue.

HUCKIt's not the word "slaves".

JIM(coming back in) I told you not to say it.

POLLYJim!

JIMAll right, I'm going offstage. But I can hear everything that goes on out here.


POLLYYou're both messing up the show. Now just say it.

JIMYou better not.

HUCKBut that's not the word. It's not the word "s--" …people.

(Jim, satisfied, goes back offstage.)

POLLYI have no idea what you're trying to tell me.

HUCKIt's another word for… people that I'm not comfortable saying in front o' people.

POLLYSo just say "people". What is the problem?

HUCK(resuming) And then they had to call in the people from the fields to have supper.

POLLYWas that so hard?

(Jim reenters, suspicious.)

JIMWait a minute, what word is he trying to say?

POLLYJim! Get off stage!

HUCKAfter about a day of being educated and civilized, I was about ready to run off to the Territory and be a outlaw with Tom and his band of robbers. So later that night, Tom and me snuck off to plan our adventures, but when we got back home…

(Jim enters, yawning and stretching and sits down in the doorway for a nap.)


HUCKWho did we see setting in the kitchen doorway, fast asleep, but Miss Watson's big… people… (trails off…) Than Jim. Than Miss Watson's big person Jim. Who works for her for no money and gets a switchin' when he does a bad job. And sometimes probably wishes he was free, but that's not gonna happen for another hundred years or so…

POLLYWhat are you going on about? Would you, please, just stick to the script?

HUCKI really can't say this word.

POLLYWhat word??

HUCKAnd it's all over the place. And I really don't think we should be talking about it in school, should we?

POLLYThis is history. You can say anything, if it's history.

HUCKI don't think that's true.

JIMIt's literature, actually.

POLLYIt's historical literature, so that means it's okay.

HUCKI don't think that's what it means.

POLLY(exasperated) It's just words! Look, which one is giving you trouble?

HUCK(pointing in the script) That one.

POLLY"Jim"???

HUCKNo, the word right before "Jim".


POLLYOh, for Pete's sake! "Nigerian"? You can't say "Nigerian"?

HUCKI don't think that's the word.

POLLYIt's where they come from. It's a real place.

HUCK(shaking his head) Nuh huh. Nope.

POLLYPeople from Nigeria are called Nigerians.

(Jim snores loudly.)

POLLYAre you asleep???

JIMNo, I'm bored.

POLLY(to Huck) Get on with it.

HUCKWe liked Jim well enough. But we also liked prankin' on him. So we hung his hat from a tree while he was sleeping and when he woke he thought he'd been haunted. He told all the other… Nigerians he was magicked by witches-- I'm sorry, I can't.

POLLYJust do it!

HUCKJim was monstrous proud about it, and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice the other Nigerians. Nigerians would come for miles to hear Jim tell about it, and he was more looked up to than any Nigerian in the county. Nigerians is always talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever-- I'm sorry, I can't be in this show.

POLLYWhere are you going? Huckleberry Finn, you come back here!

HUCKNope, no, I can't. I have to quit.


(He exits.)

POLLYYou can't quit! The play’s already started!

WATSONThat's okay. We don't need him.

POLLYYes, we do, because we don't have anybody else to play Huck Finn.

WATSONAnyone can play Huck. All you need is a hat.

JIMCan I play Huck?

POLLYNo.

JIMWhy not? I read the book. And I know some of the lines. (as Huck Finn) "I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folks does for their'n. It don't seem natural, but I reckon it's so."

WATSONWhy would you read the book?

POLLYYou can't play Huck. Because you're already Jim.

JIMI don't want to be Jim. He spends most of the show tied up on a raft.

POLLYWell, nobody else wants to do it either, so you're gonna have to play Jim.

JIMWhat? So I have to do whatever nobody else wants to do? How is that fair?

POLLYAugh! Why does everything have to be fair?!

JIMYou didn't answer my question.


POLLYI am not having this discussion with you, Jim.

JIM(pouts) Fine!

(The Girl who played Widow Douglas suddenly bursts in dressed in tatters and a crazy beard as PAP FINN!)

PAP FINN(bellows) Huckleberry Finn! Where'd you run off to? It's your ole Pap Finn and I need some money! Where is that boy? Puttin' on frills again, I reckon. I'll take you down a peg before I get done with you. Somebody fetch me a switch! I'll beat him black and blue!

JIMYou'll beat him what color?

POLLYWho are you supposed to be?

WIDOWI'm Pap Finn.

POLLYNo, you're not.

WIDOWWhy not?

POLLYBecause Pap Finn is a man. And he's old.

WATSONPap is a boy's name?

WIDOWSo who's gonna do it?

POLLYI was gonna get Mister [name any male teacher].

WIDOWOh, he'd be perfect for it! He's a man.


WATSONYep. And he's old.

WIDOWSo old.

WATSONThen who's gonna be Huck?

POLLY(exasperated) Well, now, nobody's gonna be Huck, cuz he took the hat!

(She throws up her hands and storms out, followed by the others.)

(Huck storms in, on his way home. Jim runs after him.)

JIMHey, Huck, wait up! I'm coming with you.

HUCKWhat do you mean, you're coming with me?

JIMI quit the play, too.

HUCKWhat? Why?

JIMCuz they did the exact same thing to me! After you left, they wouldn't let me be Huck.

HUCKHow is that the same situation? At all??

JIMBecause they won't let us do what we want.

HUCKThis isn't about doing what I want!

JIMSure, it is.


HUCKNo, it's exactly the opposite. I want to NOT do what they want me to.

JIMYeh, you're right, that's totally different.

HUCKYou have to go back. They're gonna need somebody to play Jim.

JIMThey're gonna need somebody to play Huck.

HUCKAnybody can play Huck. All you need is a hat.

JIMYeah, but you took the hat.

HUCK(realizes he still has the hat) Aw, no. Now I have to go back. (gets an idea) Hey, why don't you go back and turn it in for me?

JIMWhy do I have to do it?

HUCKLook, you can't just quit. You'll get in trouble.

JIMWhat are they gonna do? Kick me out of the play?

HUCK(exasperated) Jim, please!

JIMWe don't have to go back. We can run off and start our own theatre company!

(Enter the Girls who played Widow and Watson as themselves. But we shall call them KING and DUKE. They’ve got a box of props, or maybe a steamer trunk.)

KINGHey, are you guys really quitting?


DUKEWe wanna quit, too.

HUCKWhy are YOU quitting?

KINGShe's being all bossy and won't let us do anything fun.

DUKEYeah, it's all about the drama with her. That's not what I got into theatre for.

JIMWe're gonna start our own theatre company so we can do whatever we want.

KINGThat's perfect!

DUKELook, we stole a bunch of props.

(She opens the trunk.)

HUCKGuys, you have to put those back.

KINGWe've got wigs and costumes.

DUKEAnd there's pillows. We could make a fat suit!

KINGI've always wanted to do Romeo & Juliet. O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

DUKE(groping in darkness) What's that? I can hear you, but I can't see you. It's too dark in this jungle.

JIMI think it's a garden.

KINGSet a pillow on fire and use it to light the way!


HUCKNo! No fire!

KINGOver here, Romeo! By yonder breaking window. It is the east and I'm the setting sun.

JIMThe rising sun, I think.

DUKE(stuffing pillows under her shirt) I've always wanted to play Hamlet, the Duke of Denmark. To be or not to be! That is the bare bodkin! Ho ho ho!

KINGHa! If you're the Duke of Denmark, I'm Martin Luther King.

DUKEIf you say so. (bowing) Your Majesty.

KING(bowing) Your Majesty.

JIMCan I be something?

DUKEOf course, you can, my good fellow! Anything you want. It's a free country, after all.

JIMI wanna be a robot.

(Jim robots around.)

KINGOoh! I've always wanted a robot servant!

DUKEYou there! Fetch His Majesty's luggage from the carriage.

JIMWhat?

DUKEAnd mine, too! A duke should not have to carry his own stolen goods. Ho ho ho!


JIMI'm not fetchin' nothin'. This is worse than when we were in a real play.

KINGWe should plan a heist!

DUKEWe'll need disguises. (handing Huck a wig) Here, put this on.

HUCKWhy?

DUKEYou're a female spy sent to infiltrate the Antebellum South before the Civil War.

HUCKNo, thank you.

KING(to Duke) What are you talking about? He can't be a female spy.

DUKEHow come?

KINGBecause there's no such thing. They're called spies. "Female spy" is like calling someone a… black fireman.

JIMFireperson.

KINGIt's offensive.

DUKESorry. I forgot.

HUCKI don't want to be a female spy anyway.

DUKE(covering her ears) You're not! Stop saying that word!


KINGI know! You could be a poor little orphan girl.

DUKEWhose parents have died suddenly and tragically!

KINGLeaving all of their riches to you!!

JIMSo more of a rich little poor little orphan girl.

HUCKWhat riches?

DUKEI dunno. How much have you got on you?

HUCK(looking in his pockets) Six dollars and a cell phone.

DUKE(snatching the money) Six dollars!?!

KING(snatching the phone) And a magic box!?!

DUKEDo you know what we could buy with this?!

KINGIn the 1800s? You could buy a horse.

DUKEWe could buy SIX horses!

KINGAnd I could call the future and find out which horse to bet on! (on the phone) Hello? Kentucky Derby? This is the King of France. I need to know who wins the race next year.

HUCK(snatching back his phone) All right, give me that! It's my money. You're not spending it on time-traveling horses.


KINGAh, but what if I told you that secretly, I am your long lost uncle William from England. Pip pip! Cheerio! And in his will, your father left us all six of his dollars to split between us. (melodramatically) Oh my poor dead brother! How could this tragically have happened? (splitting the money) Three for you and three for me.

DUKEAnd I'm your other uncle. Harvey. From Harvard. And I want a cut, too!

(She grabs a dollar from each of them.)

DUKE(melodramatically) Oh my poor dead sister! Curse the day that she ever set foot on that ill-fated river boat!

HUCKGive me back my money!

(The Girl who played Aunt Polly storms in.)

POLLYAll right, knock it off! You're nobody's uncle! And neither are you!

JIMTom Sawyer's Aunt Polly? What are YOU doing here at the funeral home?

POLLYYou can't just be what you want to be and make stuff up and do whatever.

DUKEIt's a free country!

POLLYNo, it's 1845, and this is a play. With historical accuracy. There are rules and lines, and you have to do what you're told.

KINGBut what if I don't like any of my lines?

POLLYToo bad! Now get back in the right costumes, right now!

JIMThere's nothing right about these costumes.


POLLY(to Huck) And you, put on your hat!

HUCKNo! My conniving uncles are right! It's a free country. And if I want to give away all my money, you can't stop me!

(He gives the money back to the King and the Duke.)

JIMCan I be somebody's uncle?

POLLYQuiet, Jim. I'm warning you! You're not a Duke, and you're not a King and these are not your uncles and you all have to get back in the play right this minute. We've got a show to do.

KINGBoo!

DUKEYeah, boo! Get off the stage.

JIMBoo!

HUCKYou don't get to tell us what to do! Or where to go, or who to be!

POLLYAll right, fine! But you'll be sorry you said that. Two can play at this game, y'know!

(She storms out.)

JIMTwo of what?

KINGHooray! We did it! Good job, Huck!

DUKEYeah, you really showed her. Now we can do any play we want.

KINGLet's do one where we rob a stage coach.


HUCKI'm not Huck. And I'm not doing anything. She's right. This is stupid.

JIMSo can I be Huck now?

DUKE(shrugs) It's a free country.

(Jim puts on the Huck hat.)

JIMWell shucks, Your Majesties. Now that we've got all this money, why don't we buy us a space ship and explore the Mississippi Delta Quadrant?

HUCKAnd that's my money. Give it back.

(He takes back the money.)

DUKEWell, now we're broke again.

KINGI know! Let's tell people that "Jim" is an escaped criminal and turn him in for the reward!

(They turn to Huck, who suddenly realizes that he is Jim now.)

HUCKWait, what?

DUKEQuick, get him! Tie him up!

HUCK(fleeing) I'm not Jim! I'm not in this play! Let go of me!

KINGDon't just stand there, Huck! Get some rope!

(Duke and King chase Huck around the stage. Jim is not comfortable with this.)


JIMI'm not comfortable with this.

(Duke and King chase Huck offstage. There is lots of yelling and crashing around.)

JIM(calling offstage) Guys? Come on, leave him alone. If he doesn’t want to be Jim, he doesn’t have to.

(Duke and King return with the boy who used to be Huck bound securely.)

DUKEAll right, "Jim"--If that is your real name.

HUCKBut it's not my name!

KINGA likely story!

DUKEWell, whoever you are, you're a wanted criminal now and you're coming with us.

HUCKI'm not a criminal! I haven't done anything!

KINGHe's got a point. What are the charges?

DUKEWell, he's a slave. That's gotta be illegal.

KINGThat's perfect! You heard the man! You're going to jail for slavery!

(They lock Huck up. This can be a makeshift prison shack or they can shut him in the steamer trunk or they can simply throw a net over him.)

JIMThis isn't funny.


DUKEAll right, I'm going into town to collect the reward. You two stay here and guard the prisoner till I get back.

KINGOh, no! You're not collecting any reward without me. I'm coming with you. Huck, stay here and guard the prisoner.

(They exit.)

HUCKHelp!

JIMI don't know how I feel about this.

HUCKArgh! Come on! Let me out of here!

JIMWhat would Huckleberry Finn do?

HUCKYou're not Huck Finn!

JIMI've got the hat, don't I? So it's my turn!

(This shuts Huck up.)

JIMLook, I feel really bad about this. But this is my big chance to play a starring role and not just carry stuff. So I'm gonna figure a way to help you out, if I can. But you gotta calm down.

HUCKCalm?! Why would anybody be calm about this? They tied me up and locked me up for no reason. And everybody's acting like I'm the one who should calm down.

JIMBelieve me, I understand how you feel, but you have to do it quieter.


(Enter the Girl who used to play Aunt Polly and is now dressed like TOM SAWYER. She sticks a gun finger in Jim's back.)

TOMHold it right there! What are you doing trespassing on my property? Turn around real slow and put your hands in the air.

(He does.)

TOMAnd wave 'em 'round like you just don't care!

JIM(baffled) What? Who are you?

TOMWhat's the matter, Huck? Don't you recognize your ole pal Tom Sawyer?

JIMTom Sawyer? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back home in St. Petersburg?

TOMBetter question would be what are you doing on my Aunt Sally's farm in Pikesville? (aside) Aunt Sally is Aunt Polly's sister.

HUCKWe're on your Aunt Sally's farm?! That's quiet a coincidence.

TOMNot really. I've got relations all up and down the Mississippi. Aunt Molly's got a mill in Memphis. Aunt Ellie's got an acreage in Baton Rouge. Aunt Billie's got a barn in the bayou. Just a barn, though. She lost the farm in the flood.

JIMBe that as it may, you gotta help me rescue Jim. We came down river on a raft with a couple o' swindlers and they're gonna turn him in for the reward.

TOMNot to worry, I got it all worked out. I've come up with an elaborate plan to bust Jim out of prison.

JIMYou hear that, Jim? You're gonna be free!


HUCKI was free before they put me in here!

TOMNow listen close. We're gonna tunnel in at night. And then tunnel back out at daybreak. We'll need a signal so we know when the coast is clear. One if by land and two if by sea.

JIMWe're on a river, actually.

TOMThen we'll create a diversion and make our escape on elephant-back!

JIMWhere are we gonna get an elephant?

TOMAlready taken care of! I stole one from the local traveling circus on the way here. Huck, Jim, meet Gumbo.

(She gestures toward an invisible elephant.)

JIMI don't see any elephant.

TOMThat's because it's nighttime and it's dark as pitch. Which is lucky, cuz we gotta hide! Here comes the local militia!

(The Girls who played Widow Douglas and Miss Watson enter as LOCAL MILITIA, one with a crazy beard and one with a fat suit. They both have shotguns or unwieldy rifles.)

MILITIA 1Halt, who goes there?

JIMHow did they find us so fast?

TOMI sent them an anonymous tip.

JIMWhy would you do that?!


TOMBecause it's not really an escape if you don't escape by the skin of your teeth.

MILITIA 2(groping in darkness) I hear voices, but I can't see anyone in all this darkness.

MILITIA 1Quick, light a pillow!

HUCKAh, no! No fire!

MILITIA 2Did someone say "Fire"??

MILITIA 1Fire?!

(The Militia begin firing at will. And at random.)

MILITIA 1 & 2Bang ba-bang bang! Bangitty bang bang! Argh! Oh! You got me!

(After a lot of ruckus, both Militia get shot and fall dead. Stunned silence. Jim and Tom can't believe it's over so quick. Tom is particularly disappointed.)

JIMWell, that was a lot easier than it sounded in the plan. So I guess we can all go home now?

(Unsatisfied with this ending, Tom is suddenly struck by a stray bullet.)

TOMOh! Ow! Ricochet! I've been hit! I caught a stray bullet. I'm dying!

(She falls, clutching her leg.)

HUCKFrom a bullet in the leg?

(The dead Militia get up and rush to Tom's side, concerned.)

WATSONOh! Are you all right?


WIDOWTom! Tom! Speak to me, child!

TOMI may be crippled for life, but at least I die knowing that Huck is finally free from prison.

JIMJim.

TOMI mean, Jim. Oh, the pain! The agony!

HUCKHow come Tom gets to be the star of the show? It's not even his story.

JIMOh, Jim. If you read the book, you'd know, it's always Tom's show.

TOMOw! Oh! They oughta give me a medal!

WATSONLie still. Don't twitch.

WIDOWSomebody fetch this heroic boy some ice-cold lemonade!

HUCK(to Jim) Well, not today! Give me that wig.

(Huck puts on the wig and pulls a skirt out of the prop box, transforming himself into AUNT POLLY!)

HUCKHold it right there, you young scalawag!

TOMWho is it? Who’s there?

HUCKWhy, Tom Sawyer, you rascal, don't you recognize your dear old Aunt Polly?

TOMAunt Polly? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back home in St. Petersburg wondering where I am?


HUCKTom, you scamp! Didn't you get my letter telling you I was coming and you should stay out of trouble? And explaining that Miss Watson had passed away and she felt so bad about how she treated Jim that she died of guilt and set him free in her will? Like, two months ago.

TOMOh. Well, that's lucky.

JIMThis is fun. Here, let me have it.

(Huck hands Jim the Polly wig and he puts it on.)

JIMAnd also I read in the newspaper that Huck's father Pap Finn drowned in a flood and so it's safe for him to return home now.

WIDOWSo basically, Huck was never in danger and Jim was never a runaway and they went through all this nonsense so Tom Sawyer could come in at the last second and be the hero?

JIMYup.

TOMI was gonna tell you eventually.

WATSONYeah, right.

(Watson and Widow roll their eyes at Tom. Huck and Jim epilogue to the audience.)

HUCKAnd Huck went back to living peaceably in the fictional town of St. Petersberg, Missouri.

JIMAnd Jim went back to being a free man in the South. And was never heard from again.

HUCK(awkward) Oh…

JIMNah, I'm kidding. Jim moved back to St. Petersburg and became a fireman.


HUCKReally?

JIMHe's more of a doctor in the book, but I made him a fireman.

HUCKCool.

(Huck turns to the audience with a proud grin.)

HUCKThe end!

(Huck and Jim turn to go off into the sunset. But Tom gets up and addresses the audience, as well.)

TOMAnd Tom Sawyer went on to star in many other plays and musicals.

(Huck runs back in to drag Tom off before he can mess things up.)

HUCKNope. No, he didn't.

TOM"Tom Sawyer, Abroad". "Tom Sawyer, Detective". "Big River". There's a Norman Rockwell painting... Urk!

(Tom is dragged off by Huck and Watson and the Widow, leaving Jim alone onstage. He puts on the Huck hat one last time.)

JIMSo there ain't nothing more to write about, and I am rotten glad of it, because if I'd a knowed what a trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it, in the first place. But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally says she's going to adopt me and civilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before. The end. Yours truly, Huck Finn.

THE END.


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