Balance of Life

Achieving a Balanced Scorecard

In these frenetic times, where earning a living or attending to a family can seem to take

up 90% of our free time, there is an even greater danger of our lives getting out of balance. This

was expressed well in the following offering:

What is Important in Life?

If you don’t know what is important, then everything is important.

When everything is important, then you have to do everything.

When you have to do everything, you don’t have time to think about what is really important.

Anon

It is important to take time to reflect on our balance in life – are some aspects of our daily

life dominating all others? Much has been written recently about our work-life balance; how

more and more workers are putting in long hours; how the increasing number of women in the

workforce is putting pressure on family life; how modern communication is seeing an intrusion

of work into personal time. But there are several other important spokes in an evenly-balanced

life wheel.

Recreation/Leisure

This vital part of a balanced lifestyle may involve sports, hobbies, travel, gardening - a

whole range of leisure pursuits. These pursuits may require training, coaching, or study; all of

which will present a new challenge and result in a new outlook on life. They will mean new

associations and even a new range of friendships. But there can be a downside. A friend once

described how he had let an obsession with sport take over his life. He discovered the sport of

lawn bowls late in life. Every weekend was devoted to playing bowls virtually from dawn to

dusk. It got to the stage where he was going down to the bowling club every working day to

practise at lunchtime and again after work. This led to his neglecting not only his family life but

his business as well. It took quite an effort for him to get his life back in balance by restricting

his bowling to one day per week.

Similar sports addicts can be seen at any golf club, tennis club or squash club. They

neglect their families in the pursuit of modest achievement at their chosen ‘sport’. When such

pursuits become an obsession, it is necessary to take a step back and analyse just why this

activity has taken over your life – boredom with your job? Lack of self esteem? Problems with

your marriage? Once the real reason for this obsession is known, then you can tackle the problem

rather than avoiding it by immersing yourself in this distraction.

Career/Money

Similarly, the demands of a job can become overwhelming and dominate your life.

Workaholics can be seen all around us and the impact of their long work hours on family, friends

and social life is obvious to all of us. It is a fact that we all work harder than we did twenty years

ago and that one person seems to be now doing the job previously done by two in those times. A

recent study found that 35% of New Zealand men worked more than 50 hours per week. It is

important to keep one’s work in balance so that there is adequate time for family, leisure and the

other important life choices.

An example of this was a friend who was heavily involved in a computer-based business.

This took him around the country a lot and there was little time for family or a healthy lifestyle.

A massive heart attack when at the age of forty saw him re-evaluate his life during the long

recovery period. He decided to quit his demanding job and become something he had always

wanted to be – a troutfishing guide. Now he has several months off each year during the closed

fishing season to devote to his young family. His new occupation keeps him a lot fitter with a

minimum of stress and he now looks forward to what each day brings.

There is evidence from recent studies that once you are earning over $50,000 per year,

you will be better off finding ways of cutting back your work hours to spend the time on more

healthy pursuits. It can take a lot of effort to earn a much higher income and you need to question

if the extra time/effort is really worthwhile.

Family/Friends

Some questions to ask yourself:

Are you loved by the people that mean most to you?

Are you close to your parents? (Were you close to your parents?)

Are you close to your children? Are there any issues between you and your children?

Do you spend a high proportion of your leisure time with your children?

Are you happy with your spouse/partner? Or happy being single?

Do you spend time with your extended family – brother/sister/aunt/uncle/niece/nephew?

Do your grandchildren want to spend time with you?

Have you a few close friends you could rely on in a crisis?

Have you a wide circle of friends with varying interests?

If your answers are not mainly in the positive, it is time to consider devoting more time to your

family and friends.

Solitude/Wellness

This aspect of a balanced lifestyle is often overlooked, especially by busy people. It is

vital for your wellbeing to find time for yourself. A goal of setting aside at least 30 minutes per

day just for you is a reasonable one. It may take the form of meditation in a quiet room, a long

walk in the woods, a sail in your dinghy or going fishing. We all know people who lead such

frenetic lives that they hardly a moment to themselves. An example is the harassed Mum ferrying

three kids to a variety of after-school activities as well as running the household, doing the

shopping, looking after aged parents and trying to catch up with friends. Time for oneself is often

neglected and poor health can be the result. This may range from a lack of fitness, through to

serious health problems including mental health issues – all due to a lack of allocation of time

just for you.

The following exercise is recommended when you need to centre yourself to gain some

inner calm at stressful times:

Find a quiet place, preferably with subdued lighting

Stand erect, arms at your side and gently close your eyes

Breathe in deeply, inhaling calmness

Breathe out tension, stress and worry

With each breath in, become calmer and gain more energy

With each breath out, allow negative thoughts or worries to flow away

Allow your body and mind to be washed over by healing energy

Feel the wholeness of your body in harmony with your mind

Take a last deep breath and face the world refreshed and invigorated

Home Improvement/Living Environment

Are you proud of your home?

Is it well-maintained or is there a long list of honey do’s?

Is the interior finished to your satisfaction?

Does the garden give you pleasure when you look at it?

This is another area that is often neglected in our tumultuous rush through life. You do not need

to completely renovate your house over the course of a year – that is asking for your home to be

included on the DIY Rescue reality TV series. The makeover does not need to be major, maybe

just one room at a time. That way, over a period of six or seven years, you will have achieved a

complete renovation of your house. You can liken it to painting the Auckland Harbour Bridge –

by the time you finish, it is time to start again! It might well be necessary to take a course in

carpentry or Interior Design at your local Night School. This will not only provide you with

another challenge but give you a great feeling of accomplishment when you have finally

completed your renovations.

Community Service/Spiritual

There is a great deal of satisfaction to be gained from helping others. Your own problems

become less important when you see how worse off others may be. Other benefits include

increased mental stimulation as you cope with new challenges and demands.

A good example of this was provided by an elderly relative. Widowed at 58, she

increasingly relied on her Church for companionship and support. Despite a close-knit and

supportive family, she needed more challenge and increased social contact to combat the

loneliness of living alone. At the age of 70, she volunteered to host a Bible Studies course at her

home. Before she could do so, she had to attend a three-month-long Bible Studies course; quite a

challenge for someone who left school in Standard 6. After receiving her diploma, she started

hosting a wide variety of people wanting to improve their knowledge of the Bible – young, old,

male, female, Koreans, South Africans, Cook Islanders, Maoris, even the occasional Australian.

This activity has seen her faculties still as sharp as ever at age 84, a testament to the benefit of

giving something back to the community.

Most of us tend to become more and more selfish as we get older. Working Bees at the

Kindergarten or at a friend’s house become distant memories as we get so caught up in our own

activities, just trying to get through life. Giving something back through community service will

make you realise there are a lot of people out there much worse off than you. It will also give

you the satisfaction of helping someone – those feel good warm fuzzies you may have been

missing for a while.

Growth/Development

Are you living your life or one that someone else designed for you? Are you initiating

events rather than waiting for someone else to do so? If you died today, would you have any

regrets? Is there something that you always wanted to do but never got round to it? The answer is

to develop a do it now attitude.

My wife is an example of someone who decided to just do it. Sue had always wanted to

spend six months touring USA. This had been discussed for many years without any firm plans

being made. There was always a five year plan that kept getting rolled over. One day, Sue

announced we were going next year, come what may. Bookings were duly made and

arrangements for house, cars, pets, business all taken care of with remarkably few dramas. Sue

resigned her job of 20 years with some regret but the trip was more important. Five and a half

months and 18,000 campervan miles later, she got an urgent email from her old boss saying

please come and see me as soon as you get back - her successor had resigned.

Within five days of her return, she was back in her old job but with a life-long dream

achieved and looking forward to her next adventure.

The prospect of changing careers is not as daunting as it was twenty years ago. It now

considered common for anyone starting work that they will have three different careers over their

working life. No longer is it necessary to plug away in the same old job for forty years. Instead

you can consider a complete change of career. Studies have shown that 70% of baby boomers

intend to work past 65; the majority of these intending to do so in a new job or in a new business.

This may entail education and retraining but anything is possible if you really want to achieve

your life-long goal.

How balanced is your life?

How smooth is your ride through life? Is your wheel even and delivering a smooth ride?

Work out how balanced your life is by ranking each sector.

Draw a Pie Graph with following sectors: Growth/Development Career/Money Recreation/Leisure Solitude/Wellness Home Improvement/Living Environment Family/Friends Community Service/Spiritual

The centre is 0, meaning you are very unhappy with that sector; the outer circumference

is 10, meaning you are completely satisfied with that part of your life. Draw a line across the

segment for each aspect of a Balanced Life.

Look at your completed wheel. Is it reasonably round, with all sectors rating much the

same? Or do you have big variations giving you a most uneven wheel and a bumpy ride through

life. Maybe it is time to devote some attention to those low rating segments to get a smooth ride

for the rest of your life.