BEING A LEADER OTHERS TRUST AND FOLLOW

Brenda Harkins

©2016

THE TWO MUSTS OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership. Opinions abound regarding what great leaders look like. Many brave

souls through the ages have given us leadership lessons from which we commonly

draw. Some of the better-known leaders we hear about are Abraham Lincoln,

Winston Churchill, Dwight Eisenhower, Florence Nightingale, Mahatma Gandhi, Joan

of Arc, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, and Jesus. I am sure you

have your own leaders that you admire. Is there a common thread? What do great

leaders have in common?

Most people would agree with my theory of the “Two Musts of Leadership.”

Must #1: Leaders must know where they are going.

Must #2: Leaders must make a way for others to get there.

Simple enough, right? These are two basic, common sense essentials for being a

leader people will follow.

Notice I didn’t say the two musts of “good” leadership, though. While good leaders

certainly do know where they are going and make a way for others to get there, so

do bad ones.

WHERE. WHY. HOW. These are specifics we need to be able to clearly address in

order to identify different types of leaders. They are keys. Important keys. Keys

that reveal VISION, PURPOSE and HONOR. We want to use them wisely, diligently

and consistently. First and foremost, these keys should unlock knowledge of

ourselves. They should bring us to an honest analysis of who we are. Are we leaders

that others willingly align with and choose to follow?

You will have opportunity to explore the type of leader you are as you read through

these pages. Ask yourself the questions presented and answer honestly. Use this as

a tool to hone your leadership strengths and prove yourself to be that person of

integrity others willingly follow.

We are all leaders. Someone, somewhere is following us. Whether that person is a

child, adult, co-worker, spouse, friend, employee or corporation it makes no

difference. If the taxi driver or the person in the grocery store line or a neighbor

was influenced by you in a way that causes a turning to follow your lead in how you

show respect to people, how you tip people, whatever it is…then you are a leader.

Leaders are simply people who have influence that others choose to follow. So own

your authority and learn some tools to make your influence even greater.

Three Keys to Identifying a Leader

Key #1: WHERE are they going? (VISION)

Key #2: WHY are they going there? (PURPOSE)

Key #3: HOW are they making a way for others to get there? (HONOR)

The importance of these answers cannot be overstated.

WHERE

This is where VISION is cast. The direction a leader takes must be clear. The

destination point must align with your values, desires and convictions. We would

assume a leader has buy-in to their own destination, right? But not always.

Unfortunately there are some people who just want to lead so badly they will lead

whatever they are given a chance to lead, buy-in or not. The problem with that is,

when troubles come, this type of leader will too easily cast off the vision and leave

faithful followers stranded.

The same holds true for the team members. The followers. Alignment of vision with

the leader and where they are going is necessary for an effective team. Thus,

WHERE we are going must be articulated with great clarity.

For example’s sake, let‘s say WHERE we are going is to a poverty-stricken third

world nation to help start self-sustaining businesses among the poor. That sounds

like a great vision, right? But go the extra step and ask WHY.

WHY

WHY you are going is even more important than WHERE. It tells us your PURPOSE.

It reveals so much. Let’s look at two possible WHY’s for the scenario given above.

One leader’s WHY could be a strong conviction that extreme poverty in our

time can be eradicated if a faithful number of people will commit to being

uncomfortable for a season with their time and resources.

Another leader’s WHY could just as easily be that it is easy to get cheap labor

in third world countries so they can pay a pittance for a product made there,

then sell it for a fortune elsewhere and get rich.

One prioritizes the betterment of the people, even though money may well be made.

The other prioritizes the money to be made, despite the condition of the people.

Which leader would you want to align with? Our WHY says so much about us.

Our WHY is the launching pad for trust. It lets people know the PURPOSE for why

we do what we do. If other people align with our WHY then we have the makings of

a tight, trustworthy, effective team. Trust is the key differentiator between people

following leaders, and people wanting to follow leaders. There is a huge difference

there. Have you ever had a leader you followed but only because you felt you had

to? There was no compelling common desire, no alignment of vision and purpose?

Perhaps they were an authority and you didn’t have a choice? (Certain teachers and

bosses come to mind, although I am grateful for the amazing ones I had, too.) Just

thinking about examples in our own lives affirms the importance of TRUST in

leadership. Take a few minutes to think about your experiences and write them

down.

HOW

Just as WHY is the launching pad for trust, HOW is the landing strip. Our HOW

either gives honor, or takes honor away. Adolph Hitler is a prime example. Hitler

was an effective leader. I didn’t say good. I said effective. He had the “musts” down.

He knew where he was going, and he made a way for others to get there. The key to

his leadership, though, how he made a way, was motivation by force and fear.

Motivation by force and fear is only effective until enough courage is gained

for revolt. HOW we make a way for others is the deciding “trust” factor. It reveals

whether we HONOR or dishonor others.

THE VITAL COMPONENT OF TRUST

Trust. This is the most vital component to being the kind of leader people willingly

choose to follow. While force and fear can cause people to follow you, trust

causes people to want to follow you. Trust links the team to your integrity,

strength, ability, confidence and hope. Trust makes for a powerful team. A

faithful team. A strong, effective team. Trust builds loyalty into the team. If you

have the trust of those you lead, they will follow you anywhere, and often without

question. So how do we gain the trust of others? How do we evaluate

trustworthiness?

Research and experience has allowed me to see many examples of good,

trustworthy leaders. However, the most powerful example I have ever come across

is out of the ancient book of Joshua. Allow me to relate a very old story to our

present reality.

AN ANCIENT STORY MEETS PRESENT REALITY

To set the scene, the Hebrew people had been wandering in the wilderness for 40

years waiting to enter a land God had promised to them. Why hadn’t they entered in

yet? Because when they had opportunity to go in 40 years before, spies had been

sent in to check out what they would be facing. Twelve spies went in and ten came

back saying there were giants in the land and they would all be destroyed if they

didn’t tuck tail and run. Two of the spies disagreed. Joshua and Caleb were the two

who contended that they could take the giants, because their God was with them.

The people bowed to fear, though, and took many a lap around the same mountain.

Here it was 40 years later, with only Joshua and Caleb still alive from the previous

twelve spies. Moses had died and left Joshua in charge, and he was ready to take

what he knew had been his many years before.

There was a river called the Jordan River that was between them and where they

were going. Problem was, the river was at flood tide and it was impossible to cross.

EXCEPT for the fact that…they believed the impossible was possible.

Joshua told the priests (who were the leaders of the day) to carry the ark of the Lord

into the Jordan River. Amazingly they did, dangerous floodwaters and all. And

“when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests

carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all

its banks all the days of harvest), the waters which were flowing down from above

stood and rose up in one heap…and were cut off. So the people crossed opposite

Jericho.” (Joshua 3:15,16)

So what does this have to do with trust in leadership? “The priests who carried the

ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan

while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the

Jordan.” (Joshua 3:17) THAT is what this story has to do with trust in leadership!

The leaders:

Stepped into dangerous waters (this exemplifies both RISK and COURAGE)

Held back the danger for the others by remaining in the river (COURAGE)

Didn’t move from their place until every single person had safely crossed

over (DETERMINATION AND COURAGE)

Counted the safe crossing of the people as more important than their own

arrival (HUMILITY AND SACRIFICE)

I ask you, WHO WOULDN’T TRUST LEADERS LIKE THAT?

That is the HOW of building trust, my friends. Those are the components. Are you,

as a leader, willing to:

Chart a path and step into it before you expect others to step in?

Risk your own safety for what you believe in?

Face your fear for the sake of the outcome?

Use your time and energy to advance others/ the cause?

Prioritize your actions by how they benefit others/ the cause?

Be the first one to step in, but the last to arrive?

I can think of no greater qualities in a leader. I can think of no greater actions to

build trust. These are hard questions, but necessary ones for those who know their

calling is to lead. HOW will you lead? HOW will you build trust? And for what cause

would you be willing to do those things? Knowing what is important enough to risk

danger, face your fears, advance others, and be the first to step in, yet the last to step

out, is a huge giant (no pun intended) step toward discovering your purpose.

WHAT ARE YOUR LIFE LESSONS?

I am certainly no Joshua. But I can look at even the simplest of life experiences,

childhood experiences, and see the powerful lessons of servant leadership. The

most significant childhood memory that drove the importance of “others before self”

home so strongly was when I was a cheerleader in the 8th grade. We had gone to a

cheerleading camp at Southern Methodist University in Dallas and our goal was to

bring a Spirit Stick back to our school. It would bring a sense of honor and

recognition to our school. So the first day of camp we cheered our hearts, minds and

bodies out. We were so full of energy we didn’t know where it was all coming from.

We just KNEW we would win the spirit stick because when we did our routines we

were the bubbliest, bounciest, most energetic, smiley ones on campus. Imagine our

surprise when we got no points toward the Spirit Stick that first day!

Day two we started watching for who was getting the most points and we saw that

the ones who cheered with the most spirit for the ones performing (not themselves)

were the ones who were racking up the points. What a lesson! A life lesson I have

never forgotten. Those who “win” are the ones who encourage others to win.

What are your life lessons? You can glean from the good ones and the bad. You can

learn what not to do as easily as you can learn what to do.

THE COMMON THREAD OF GOOD LEADERS

At the beginning of this book I listed a few amazing leaders and asked what was

their common thread. Take a look back. Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill,

Dwight Eisenhower, Florence Nightingale, Mahatma Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Nelson

Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, and Jesus. Courage runs through all of

them. The Joshua story? Courage again.

Each one of these people took courageous stands for their countries, their people,

their ideas, their dreams…and all in the face of opposition. Courage is not about

being fearless. Courage is about knowing what is most important and going

after it. My absolute favorite definition of courage ever is from Meg Cabot. She

says:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is

more important than the fear.

What are you afraid of?

What is more important?

Go after it!