beloved: song of solomon #3 “the wedding” – song 3:6 – 4:7

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Beloved: Song of Solomon

#3 “The Wedding” – Song 3:6 – 4:7 – 6/28/2015 – Morning Service

Dr. Matt Cassidy

If you are a single young lady and some guy wants to take you out. He says: Can I take you out?

You have to ask yourself: What is your motive?

These days, when people come to you and say: Hey, how are you doing? Are you all right?

You have to think: What is the motive? Why are you talking to me?

Church folks can hide behind the church and not let you know what the real deal is. That is why I

say, single people, if you are dating somebody, you need to ask a 1000 questions during the dating

process. You don’t need to be sitting up there talking about: Well, I go to church and I talk in tongues and

a big plus is that I am a member of World Changers Church. – You should not think: Oh, praise the Lord,

I have found my husband. – You might have found the devil so hold up a minute, girl. You need to ask

some questions. You need to sit down and go on a whole lot of dates.

What is your name? Is that your real name? Do you have your daddy’s name?

When can I meet your daddy? Are your daddy and momma together? How do you act when you get

married? Do you throw things? Do you cuss around? Do you beat up on people? I need to know: Do you

have a job? Where do you work at? How much money do you make? How long have you been working

there? Do you have a bank account? How is your credit? Can I see your credit score? Do you have a

house? Are you living in an apartment? Do you pay for your gas and your car? Do you live with your

momma near? What do you like to eat? Do you plan on being fine like that all your life or do you plan on

getting big? How many children do you want to have? Will you get upset if we don’t have any kids? Do

you plan on having an inheritance? Do you have insurance? Can you pay for your funeral if you were to

die today?

You need to know who you are going to marry. Don’t you dare get married to somebody and say:

I have never seen him angry since I met him. It is not time to marry that person. You need to see how he

looks.

And you need to ask that woman: How do you look without your makeup. Don’t put any makeup

on tomorrow. I need to see. – That hair you have on your head, is that yours or did you purchase it? If

you purchased it, is it paid for or are you in debt? I need to know. When you blink your eyes, are those

Video Clip: Creflo A. Dollar, Jr. “Dating: What’s Your Motive?” 3-1-2015


your eyelashes or did you buy those from somewhere. I need to know. You smell good today but what

about tomorrow morning. I need to know. Do you believe in taking showers at night or in the morning?

Do you believe in taking three days off and then taking a shower? How is your relationship with soap and

water? I need to know.

* * *

Everyone here who is clapping at that movie clip is pretty much a father of a daughter. Is that

right? There are a thousand questions you need to ask.

In our story of the Song of Solomon, we are studying this summer, we are having fun. It is a very

application-oriented book of the Bible. We are now at the wedding.

This couple has gone through this process of needing to ask the 1000 questions because we are

talking about commitment here. Commitment leads to trust and trust is ultimately going to be expressed in

the theme of the book. The passage from this book that many of us know, we just sang about: “I am my

beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” I belong to you and you belong to me.

The foundation for a deep relationship – with anyone but especially with your mate -- is

commitment. It is the spring of commitment because out of that commitment comes trust which leads to

safety. A person has to be safe in this relationship and commitment makes it safe. It is not their

personality or their appearance, which come and go, but it is a decision of the will. It is not about charm.

That is what we are going to study today. We are going to look at this marriage, this wedding.

You need to know two things to better appreciate today’s learning time.

One is about the book itself: The Song of Solomon (The Song of Songs), the best song ever

written, was probably not written in an autobiographical context. In other words, it is not a historical

event but it is probably more of a running parable. The reason a lot of scholars believe that is the intent of

it (being wisdom literature) is not to look at this couple like: Oh, aren’t those guys great and I would love

to their lifestyle. But rather the author wants us to see that we are in this story. This is the ideal, the way

things were meant to be in a relationship between a man and a woman, Adam and Eve. We can achieve

this. We can experience as much as we possibly can in this life – if we are pulled into this direction. –

Today’s passage might talk about Solomon’s carriage or his statements. The scholars are asking us to

consider ourselves as if we are Solomon (the men) and the queen (the ladies) because that is the way God

Two Helpful Observations


sees us. We are to see ourselves in this royal context – not thinking: Oh, look at those people up there.

Too bad for me. – So, the first thing is to see the Song of Solomon in the story of our lives.

Secondly, if you were to look at the program notes for a wedding today and a wedding then, the

events would be differently planned. In our culture, we have the wedding procession, the vows, wedding

party photos, and then everyone goes to the reception together where all of us enjoy that experience with

one another.

That is not how it was back in the ancient Near East or even today in parts of the Middle East.

Back then, they would say their vows to one another and their guests; then the guests were dismissed to

the reception to enjoy food and drink. While that is taking place, the new bride and groom go into the

Bridal Chamber/Room where they go to consummate their marriage, sealing the contract, often witnessed

by the parents of the bride and groom so it is a legal treaty.

In this story, no parents are watching but you need to know this couple has said their vows. The

second part is to go to the Wedding Chamber. Back in that day, the couple would come out after they had

consummated their marriage and the guests would cheer for them. I am sure it would be pretty awkward.

Well, what have you been doing? Nothing much. There’s the punch bowl over here. What have you been

doing? So, when we go through these verses this morning and this evening, you need to keep in mind the

typical format.

Today, we will cover two poems with two pretty dense applications. Brace yourself because we

will look at some serious material.

The first poem we will look at today is The Royal Procession, chapter 3, verses 6-11. This poem

will help us understand the luxury, the extravagance, and the excitement of the wedding day.

The second poem is The Bridal Room, chapter 4, verses 1-7. This is the part we will study this

morning while some children are present with us. Tonight, (6 – 7:15p.m.) you are invited if you are 19

years old are older, single or married, and we will look at the rest of what happens in the Bridal Chamber,

when we have more freedom to speak openly about this. It will be fun. We will look at the rest of the

passage and learn why marital intimacy has so much power for soul change. Then we will learn some

application on how to make the most of marital intimacy.

Two poems; Two applications


To help your imagination as to what is taking place here, there is a carriage described here. It is

held and carried by Solomon’s special forces, about 60 military men. This is somewhat like it might look

like, although this is a Chinese version. – They have been waiting a long time for this moment – 2.5

chapters.

Song of Songs 3:6 Who is this coming up from the wilderness, like a column of smoke,

perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant?

There is anticipation and excitement. The column of smoke is the soldiers walking, creating a cloud of

dust seen at a distance. But before we can even appreciate the beauty of the woman inside this enclosed

carriage, we can smell her coming because she is covered with the perfume of myrrh and incense.

Now, the carriage arrives at the doorstep and we move through verses 7-11.

Song 3:7-11 Look! It is Solomon’s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of

Israel, all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his

side, prepared for the terrors of the night. King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he

made it of wood from Lebanon. Its posts he made of silver; its base of gold. Its seat was

upholstered with purple; its interior inlaid with love. Daughters of Jerusalem, come out and

look, you daughters of Zion. Look on King Solomon wearing a crown, the crown with

which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, the day his heart rejoiced.

Poem #1: The Procession – Song 3:6-11


It has taken us 2.5 chapters to get here but I hope you feel the mood of these sentences, that this is a

grandiose celebration of extravagance – and as well it should be. This is a celebration of a festive event

for something that God gave us.

God gave us this gift of marriage. It is supposed to be enjoyed and it is supposed to be

extravagant. When you see wedding ceremonies and receptions where people spend a considerable

amount of money, sometimes you might think “Whoa.” But God loves this sort of thing. He loves to

celebrate.

This attribute of God, that He loves to celebrate, was especially enjoyed by C. S. Lewis. Lewis

loved fairy tales and fantasy. One of his biographers said, when Lewis saw in the Bible how much God

spent in time, money, and descriptions of the festive events – the feasts in the Old Testament but also in

the book of Revelation and Jesus’ final coming – he saved his most creative and best writing to describe

celebrations in his works of fantasy or science fiction. You see this in the Chronicles of Narnia or in the

Space Trilogy that Lewis sharpens his pencil and writes his best when he describes parties. Lewis knows

that God loves these sorts of parties and He should.

Application: One way to apply this is that couples are advised in their premarital counseling and

on their wedding day, we will encourage them to slow down. There is too much happening today for them

to grasp all of it. You need to have photos taken; the video might be lost in your memory. But if you have

pictures when the doors open in the back of the church and you see her for the first time; when your father

hands off his daughter; when the couple stares into each others eyes; when you hold each other hands and

exchange rings – take these picture and drink them in. Then when you go to the reception, slow down.

Tell your mom and dad everything you want to say to them. Enjoy your guests, the meal, the drink.

To the bride: Don’t hurry to get out of that dress. It is the last time you will ever wear it. So, after

the reception, go to the Capitol Building or maybe down to Town Lake to walk by the river. Do

something because what happens next for that dress is to be dry cleaned and put into a box and I don’t

know what happens to them after that. –

When it is time to take off the dress, do it slowly because it is a celebration. It is something God

gives to us to be enjoyed.

1. So one application is to see all the jubilation of this wedding ceremony in the Song of Songs

and we need to do that as well.

2. The second point is to observe the power of the ceremony itself: the vows, the commitment. We

know the words but think about what they mean. “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”


“Her mother and I do.” – Okay, kiss her and then let her go. – “A man shall leave his father and mother,

bond to his wife and the two shall become one. To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for rich or for

poor, in sickness and in health, till death do you part.” – What does all of that mean? What is happening?

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.

When you say your vows, the theme, the reason we gathered family, friends, and God as our

witness is that we are saying: You own me and I own you. It is just us now. We are starting over. I am

giving you me; and God is going to use you primarily by His Spirit to change me to become who I was

meant to be. I am receiving you as a gift. I own you and I will love you by the power of Jesus Christ’s

Spirit in my soul because I will be the primary person to change you, so you become who God meant you

to be.

Marriage is about change. It is about becoming. It is about the ambitions that God has for us to

become complete or perfect or Christ-like. These marriage vows say: We are doing this together. We have

chosen one another to be the agents of change. Not: I am going to change you. But rather: I am going to

change, which is powerful.

It is not about being happy but it is about becoming holy. That is what marriage is about, what the

vows are about, and what the celebration is about. We need a helpmate suitable for us to get this to work.

How does anyone change? Outside of marriage, it is magnified, turbocharged, or energized but if

you have a very good friend to help you – [Jonathan and David had deep friendship in the Bible and they

did this; not in the power of marriage but as close as you can get].

There are two steps to it.

A. Take every thought and every value captive. So, every thought, every value, every habit,

every personality trait, every tradition, every temperament – all of those things you examine, anything of

consequence. The Bible says the first thing you do is look at them and ask: Where is that coming from? Is

that true, right or real? Is that from the Bible?

(It would be very easy for me to pick two or three things and run them through this gauntlet but I

have intentionally kept the details of this vague because I want God to speak to you. I fear that if I

mention one thing, you will think: That is not my problem and so I will just sit back and listen now.) – I

want you to hear God’s voice speak to your spirit: What do you need to change? What issue of

consequence, value, habit, temperament … what do you need to grasp hold of and ask: Where did that

come from and how did it get into my life and should it be changed? Most people default to who they are

How does a person change?


based on some experience from their past or maybe the way they were raised or they respond just the

opposite (I was raised that way – or I experienced that and so I am going to do just the opposite). They

are not thinking through: What does the Bible say is right or wrong, real or true?

The Bible says: Is this the way you are supposed to act in this circumstance or situation? Is this a

tradition you should hold as a new family? Are these lifestyle habits or values ones you need to have to

become more like Jesus? Are these the things that you need to abandon and change to adopt to a new

value?

So, Step One is: You need to take these major issues captive to what the Bible says.

B. Take the new value or habit and make it yours – together. You say: This is the way we are

going to do things in our family. A new family just got started and I want to introduce to you Mr. and

Mrs. Smith. Then you are off and running. The point is that it is just the two of you: I am my beloved’s

and my beloved in mine. This is the way we are going to treat each other. These are the values we are

going to have. It does not matter if you were raised to be Christian or not. I have not seen any pattern here

– Christian or non-Christian – because everybody has a lot of craziness in them. So everyone has to stop

and ask: Where does this come from? Then we have to reevaluate to say: These are the traditions that we

are going to have.

While our two points look pretty easy: (1) evaluate whether it is biblical or not, right, real or true;

and (2) then choose this new value if it is right, real, and true and live happily ever after. But it is not that

easy because these are deep-seated within our souls, these patterns, temperaments, ways of doing things,

our ways of responding like fight or flight. So I want to give you five points you can expect to experience

when you are taking on a new value, a new action style.

1. Tell the old value to “shut up.” It is deep inside of your tradition, your family, and

who you are and so it comes back. So, you need to be aware of the phrase ‘false guilt.’ It feels like real

guilt but it is not. You should not feel guilty for doing the right thing; or abandoning the wrong thing. In

my family ‘shut up’ is a cuss word and so I used it here on purpose – because you need to say to the old

value to ‘shut up.’ Sometimes you need to say a version of that to your family or others who want you

back in the old value system; of course, you don’t say those words but choose nice ones: Maybe we

should get some distance on this area or we will miss meeting with you the next time around.

I have stood in my own backyard in Austin, faced San Antonio, and said: Leave me alone, mom. I

don’t need that any more. – Catholic guilt from your mother is false guilt that comes by the truck loads.

When you take on these new values, you will have values you need to say ‘shut up’ to.

2. Lean into the discomfort of the new practice. Any new activity is going to be clumsy


at first; you are not going to be good at it. The way you treat your spouse, you have never done it the right

way before. You have years of practice doing it wrong up until now. So, lean into the awkwardness of

that new practice.

3. Go slow. You will be reckless. You may be married for 50 years so let’s do this one

day at a time. Let’s be patient with each other and forgiving. Why don’t you try that same thing we agreed

on but why don’t you try that a different way but better?

4. Make progress. You will fail. Falling is not failing; failing is not getting up. Messing

up with this new habit, new value, new temperament, - when you wreck that, it is not failing. Failing is

when you say: Oh, that is it. We tried it twice. – Failing is not getting back up.

5. Enjoy. Finally you get to a point where when you have done this long enough, over

years, you get to enjoy. You can say: Look at us. We are doing something right. – Like we sang earlier:

Drop these chains.

So, there are these five things you will experience when you take on a new value, especially if you

are abandoning an old value. But the next one is fun. Go back and get someone else and take them

through # 1 and 2. You are not alone in your experience whatever that is. Sometimes we can connect

when a couple says: Wow, you do that too? We are about eight years ahead of you. Why don’t we come

back around and share stories together so that we can encourage you in this process?

Here is the real question in marriages that fail to grow in depth of love and trust.

It is always the question with regard to change. It is the best question I think that has ever been

asked in history.

Do you want to get well?

Jesus asked this of a man who had been lying in a state of injury for almost his whole life. Jesus

asked the man: Do you want to get well?

Have you grown weary of the consequences of living these things that are not true? Most people

allow themselves to be defined by values that are not true; or they allow themselves to be defined by

values, stories, circumstances, experiences that they give power to. People define themselves by the

experience, the value, that they themselves give power to. You give it power. It does not have power on

its own. You get it power and you say: It will define me. – I am not saying this is easy. I am saying this

could probably be the hardest thing you will ever do – is change, especially something that is deep-rooted

and deep-seated.

Do you want to get well?


What I am saying here is that when you say your vows, you owe it to God and you owe it to your

mate and it you owe it to yourself because that is what marriage is about. It is not about status quo or how

you can remain the same and be stubborn and stuck. It is saying: I am giving myself to you so that God

will primarily love me through you, to change me, to be who I was meant to be. I want to be like

Eve/Adam and you will be the person who will bring me there.

Do you want to get well? Then you have to decide: I will not be defined by my past, whatever that

was. Something happened to me when I was a child – it was 32 years ago. Now you are married and so

you say: Let’s combat this together. Now the odds are in our favor; it is two against one. Let’s go get

them.

Some people say: I will be defined by my experiences growing up, the way I was raised, for

example. Just because you were raised some way does not mean it was the right way.

There are four options on how to react to a value/habit or the way you deal with people because it

was the way you were raised.

The first option is: maybe it is the right way to react after all. If it is the right way to act, then just

adopt it as your new value and then it is your value, not something you inherited.

The second option is: The way you were raised could be inherently neutral. Who cares – you can

abandon it or not. Your relatives may have a lot of attachment to it but you are a new family now.

The third option is: The way you were raised could be wrong. Christian or non-Christian,

churched or not churched the way you were raised was against what is right, real, or true.

The fourth option is: You could have been raised by an evil person. Here is what happens when a

person is raised in a family or culture that is wrong or evil. Here is what they try to do. They try to re-

arrange all the rest of reality so that they won’t have to acknowledge that one or both of their parents were

evil. Life doesn’t work that way. When you are unmarried, you can run from hole to hole to try to get

away from stuff for so long. But when you get married, it just keeps showing up. The power of marriage

is that a person has the ability and permission to come alongside you and say: God gave you to me to be

the primary means of change. I want to tell you something and I want you to consider it and get back to

me in a day. What if you were to think about your mom as someone who meant well but did it wrong but

rather maybe your mom was a person who was an evil witch, like a battle-axe. Don’t get mad. I want you

to think: If your mom was a battle-axe, then what would the rest of life look like. All the blues would turn

blue and the reds would turn red. I’ll get back to you on that in a day or so.

Sometimes an outside person has to come in to bring sobriety to the situation, to define things as

real. When the person buys into this, they can start changing and move away these memories that are


attached to emotions. You will be the person who disconnects your mate. It may be 2 or 3 years later,

when your mate says: I can’t believe my mom did this ______. You could then say: Could I remind you

that your mom is a battle-axe and that is what battle-axes do. – Then your mate can say: You are right.

She is acting like she is that way; now I am not surprised any m ore because I have redefined real life by

what is right, real, and true.

I am sorry I am being vague. Some of you understand this to great depths and others not.

Here is what I want you to understand. It takes someone you have committed to, that you have

given trust to, that you feel safe with in order to say those kinds of words. Some people choose to be a

victim of their past or how they grew up or they say: That is just the way I am.

But is that the way you are supposed to be? Your mate is a gift from God to say: I will be here to

help change you. Do you want to get well? Do you want to get well?

Do not read another novel or watch another movie about some act of courage unless you want to

be courageous. Do not live vicariously through a fantasy world; become a story. What else do you have to

do for the rest of your life than to face the demons that are evil and still kicking you around life and you

can team up with your mate and say: Let’s take this dragon on together. What else do you trust God for?

What else has the potential of a grand story of the power of Spirit in your life than to do this, to unravel

and to become who God meant you to be. Who would you be if you were not trusting God for safety and

trusting God for conquests?

Here is how you change in a marriage. You go to your partner and say: I am so sorry. Will you

please forgive me. I realize now that these old values, these habits, these ways of interacting with my

fellowman and with you my mate, I bring this and I have allowed it to define me and it has retarded our

depth as a couple. I am so sorry for that. I want you to forgive me.

There is a second part to this. I want to lock arms with you and I want to knock the power out of

this stuff with you. I will do whatever it takes: Celebrate Recovery, Re-Engage, or I will pay for

counseling. We can go to lunch with people who have been through this before. Let’s go. Let’s beat this

thing up. We have 48 years left; let’s go. That is what marriage is – that is the power of it. That is our first

application.

The second poem is where we change themes a lot. We are now in the Bridal Room. The groom is

looking at his bride who had this veil on. Her hair is up in a bun or hat. The veil covers her face but not

totally; it is really a symbol of chastity and holiness but it also is enticing to the groom. You can tell that

Poem #2: The Bridal Room – Song 4:1-7


he can see her eyes which are smiling and he can tell her mouth is open. She is so excited. You will see

that the man talks more in Chapter 4 than he had in Chapters 1 – 3 combined. He is having a good time.

Everybody else is at the reception and now it is just the two of them.

He starts describing her from the eyes downward.

Song 4:1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your

veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.

I think he has taken her hair pins out or her cap off and her hair is now flowing down over her shoulders.

She is smiling and enjoying this.

Song 4:2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn.

Coming up from the washing. I think he is saying her teeth are white. He is just being creative about it.

Each has its twin; not one of them is alone.

They are straight and she has all her teeth. – Do you see how complimentary he is? He is enjoying that her

teeth are white, and kind of straight for this time in history, but you have them all; not even a chipped

tooth. I am the luckiest guy in the world.

Song 4:3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely.

They are done up with make up.

Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate.

Uh oh. Whenever you see pomegranates, they are talking about love and lust and fertility and all kinds of

fun stuff.


Song 4:4 Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a

thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.

She has the neck of a lumberjack. I don’t write poetry or know what is happening here.

Now we are getting to something I do understand.

Song 4:5 Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among

the lilies.

They are soft and beautiful – the idea of the gazelles, a joyful lust for life. He is looking at her attributes

so far and says: I hope you took a nap.

Song 4:6 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and

to the hill of incense.

Those two mountains I was just referring to – I am camping there tonight.

Song 4:7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

The theme of the book is passion and delight within marriage which is to be enjoyed as a gift from God.

Application:

The application for the book is to love and to be loved. It is to praise and to be praised. We have

this so far in these two chapters. We stopped to talk about the power of praise.

A. Power of Praise There is a great study I read this week about the power of praise – but you have to

hear the praise and let the praise hit you.

John Gottman, University of Washington, a psychiatrist and marriage counselor, who does

extensive research on marriage and parenting and has been for thirty years. He says in his books, I can

pretty much tell you who is going to survive in a great marriage and who will not. In his 30 years of

research and he is still alive, we could have seen this in the Song of Solomon, 3000 years ago. Here is his

conclusion and how to experience great marriage and intimacy.

There are three simple factors.

1. Great lovers see eye-to-eye. “There is importance of mutuality in good relationships. Both

partners need to feel that they have influence over the other and that the other seriously

considers their opinions and responses. The keys to lasting relationships are respect,

acceptance and friendship.”


2. Power of words. (for bad) “He has also identified what he calls the Four Horsemen, which are

behaviors that, if left unchecked, will quickly doom a relationship. These behaviors are

criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.”

If these Four Horsemen show up in your marriage, they will burn and destroy your family to the ground.

3. The power of praise. It is like he read the Song of Songs. “Positive comments and behaviors

between the parties outweigh negative ones by about twenty to one. In contrast, in

relationships where the positive and negative comments and behaviors are equal, Gottman

concludes, it is virtually certain the relationship will not last very long.”

B. You have to learn how to give praise and you have to learn how to receive praise. Why is it 20 to

1? He says if it is 50 – 50, that relationship will tank. Why is it 20 to 1? Think about it because we can

give praise but we are not very good at receiving praise.

You will have to say something to me 20 times for it to make up for one time you said something

disparaging or discouraging. This book is about praising and receiving praise. I know it is easy for us to

default to looking at Solomon and his bride, thinking it is Ken and Barbi and they have a lot going for

them. But remember, this is a story about Cinderella. When we met this bride, she said: Look away. I am

sun burned like all the other people working the fields. He turned her into a princess because she heard it,

believed it, and let it cover her belief system.

Some of you know that when Melinda and I were just starting out, she was pretty self-conscious

about her appearance – and what she thought she should have looked like. (Like most women comparing

themselves to magazine covers.) I just snapped one day and could not take it any more.

I grabbed her and said: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.

She said: Yeah, okay.

I said: No, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Then I held her like we were dancing – and

that always scares her so she then really listened. I way swaying back and forth with her and say: You are

the most beautiful girl in the world. I was whispering this into her ear. It wasn’t taking so

I thought: Okay, this will be great. You have to say it back to me now. Say: I am the most beautiful

girl in the world. --- Over the years, she started to believe it and now to this day she signs her name

“MBG – Most Beautiful Girl”. The other day she was shaking her tail feathers around me, doing

something, and I said: You are just showing off. She said: I am showing off.


I tell you that story because it took a dark turn later on in our relationship. She saw some things in

me that I was not believing. I didn’t like that so much because she took me into her arms and said: You

are my dream come true.

I said: Yeah, okay, that is cool.

She said: No, no, you are my dream come true.

I said: Yeah, that is neat.

She said: I made a wish and you came true.

I said: Okay

She said: Say it back to me.

I said: You know what? That is a stupid thing to do to someone. Who would do that to their

marriage partner.

She said: Say it back to me.

I said: You made a wish and I came true. – How many wishes did you have?

She is changing my life, friends. I am here to tell you that it was much easier to praise her than to

receive her praise. The application this week is not the praise but to learn how to receive praise – accept it.

It is from your gift from God that has been sent by Him to be the primary means of change in your life.

Receive that; believe that; and let that belief saturate your soul. That will change you.

You have two big assignments this week and they are good ones.

#1 Do you want to get well?

Will you take the gift that God gave you in matrimony, lock hands and go slay some dragons.

#2 Would you learn how to receive praise so that your mate doesn’t have to hit the 20 to 1 ratio

but break it down to 10 to 1? Could you do that?

Let’s pray to that end. Come back tonight and there will be fun homework afterward.


Lord Jesus:

We are grateful for this book which teaches us the power of praise and the things we need to learn.

It was my hope all week that You would speak to each person’s soul here about what they need to change,

what they are so afraid of letting go of, the things that haunt them, the things they are giving power to,

and they believe that thing is more powerful than Your Spirit and the encouraging word of a good friend

or a lover. So, I ask You would speak to our souls and call us out. Call us to courage. Nag us and don’t let

us let this go until we let Your Spirit in there to shake things up.

Also, Lord, would You teach us how to receive praise from our friends and from the one You gave

us. Let our life be a gift back to You. What we did with our life was us – what you choose to do with

Your Spirit in us, that is our gift back if we surrender that. Let us do that – that we would be people who

surrender to your Spirit. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen

beloved: song of solomon #3 “the wedding” – song 3:6 – 4:7

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