bible of apologies

8/13/2019 Bible of Apologies

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a bible of apologies


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Table of Contents

3. Eden

10. Noah15. Psalms23. Jonah29. Ten Commandments30. Magdalene31. Cu ent Testament


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E!EN

In the beginning

" don#t $ant to %no$ $hat &ou did $ith the o'ean.

" $ant to name m& s%in 'ells(" $ant ea'h and e)e & bit of m&selfto ha)e a name.

*u phone 'alls a e filled $ith hea)& b eathingand that#s sta ting to be'ome the best pa tof ou 'on)e sations.

"#m fo getting $hat to sa&.

" thin% " $anted to %no$ $hat &ou did$ith the silen'e.

The Pa'ifi' ta%es s' eams li%e p omises(this is the onl& $a& " e)e %no$it $ill be ba'%.


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Man

The e is an an+iet& eating the liningon the insides of m& stoma'h.

,o$ 'an &ou stand still on the ea th $hen&ou %no$ that it is mo)ing- Ma&be&ou a e b a)e ma&be &ou don#t %no$.

"#m so &.

The e a e 'ello bones that don#t pla& fo gi)enessand " $ant things li%e these(

but " am $a& too s'a ed to sa& it out loud.

E)e &one should $ea the need fo )alidationsome$he e on thei s'alps.


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Ribs

The e $as a obbe & in the sta sand it $as 'alled absen'eand it $as good.

The e $as a time the )e & s%& felt a$edat its o$n insignifi'an'eand nobod& p esumed to %no$ $hat finished meant.

The s%inless o'ean b eathed and said possibl&(and someone s' a$led " miss &ou on a pa % ben'h$hile nobod& loo%ednobod& $anted to emembe ho$ man& bones

the& had needed to b ea% in o de to beal ight again.

/anting had made su'h a $a outof spines the e $as an isolationleft in e)e &thing.


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Woman

" thin% &ou ust uined the ending.

" thin% &ou a e the enti e band$idth of m& smileand " am an+ious.

People don#t tal% about lo)ethe same $a& the& tal% about d&ing(

but the& should p obabl&.


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Apples

The e is beaut& in e)e &thing e)e &thinge)e &thing e)e &thing.

" thin% &ou ha)e made a s'hi oph eni'out of me.

" thin% if $e $e e going to lea)e palm si ed plot holes in all of this$e shouldn t ha)e published ou p e'aution.

/e should )e eali ed $o ds a e onl&ase+ual things

and hea ts ha)e handles that onl& ui)e ing hands %no$.

" don t %no$ $ho obbed ou mouths and'alled it absen'e

but &ou e thin%ing of a numbe bet$een oneand ten billionand it s se)en and " %no$ that no$.


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Serpents

The da&light is f ightening(ou finge 4bones a e f ightening." $ant &ou mo ning b eath(and this is f ightening too.

" need to peel ba'% &ou apple4s%in" need to as% &ou if it#s o%a& " need to %no$$he e &ou go in those fe$ se'onds

befo e &ou ans$e me.

The e is a flooding house out the e some$he ea phone inging inging but no one to hea it

and this bothe s me( but mo e so" am bothe ed b& ou 'omplete la'% of othe ness(the fa't that $e still ha)e no idea$hat death 'an do to us.


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The fall

/e a e diamonds in the ough($e a e not that beautiful.

/e a e honest& at its most un efined(g o$ing s'a ed of $hat $e don#t %no$($hat $e#ll be li%e$ithout fo e)e p essing ba'% against ou 'hests.

/e a e ne)e letting go.

" thin% $e still ha)e till theend of e)e &thing.


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N* ,

the world

The e is nothing t agi' about a Monda&.The e is nothing t agi' about doo s.The t aged& is doo %nobs.The t aged& is letting he go $hen&ou#)e got t$o legs and t$o hands anda mouthful of un ipened unfo gi)eness that&ou on'e planted all fo &ou self.


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the call

6ou $o%e up aging $ate at the ba'%of &ou th oat( po 'elain mouths spilling li%edams and b o%en outlets and too mu'h f agile to p ess

ba'% against &ou teeth.Things ha)e to spill out.

6ou ha)e to build .


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the ark

Endings feel hea)& so &ou%eep hamme ing boa ds and hope to 7od&ou $ill find no sho tage of nails(no lessening of pun'tuation ma %s.

8e'ause &ou 'an#t stop be'ause&ou 'an#t stop be'ause &ou on'esta tedand that#s an obsession to d i)e &ou $ildfo the est of the da&s of &ou da&s.

/ho put the fi st bla'%

in a spi al-/ho set the sta s in a a&-

6ou fold ba'% li%e %nees in ane)e 4ending deluge( 'alling feelings a floodand b o%en palms a sign of self espe't.


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the giants

The e is an obsession in &ou that %no$s no limit(the e a e lo'%s and se' etsand things too pe ilous to spea% of.

Conside $hat &ou let &ou self lea)e('onside $hat &ou allo$ to sta&.

Conside fo gi)ing &ou self $hen&ou a e told &ou a e done.That &ou ha)e finished building e)e &thing&ou $ill e)e need o e)e $ant.


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the sea

6ou don#t d eam an&mo e(&ou hope that#s o%a&.6ou line &ou self up in st ips and'on'ei)e all the diffe ent $a&s to un4be.

,e e is &ou impatien'e and he eis &ou f agilit&(&ou igno an'e &ou $ ath &ouimpe tinen'e.6ou#ll be d o$ning them all.

6ou#ll be sailing fa a$a&

f om &ou self.

6ou hope that that#s o%a&.


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P :M

Psalm 1

The e is a %et'hup stain on m& shi tthat " 'an t $ash out." s$ea it loo%s e+a'tl& li%e &ou.

" don t miss &ou as mu'h as" m a$a e of &ou absen'e.*h( that s $hat missing someone is-;eall&-

" m sta ting to thin% " stolethis shi t f om &ou.


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Psalm 3

/e e togethe in the $ei dest $a& possibleli%e $e )e ma ied fift& something &ea s but$e ha)en t e)en noti'ed the a'ne s'a s &et.

E+'ept its been mo e li%e one houfi)e minutes fift& th ee se'ondsand $e don t e)en %no$ ea'h othe s names

and $e e onl& 'onne'ted b& the softin)isible th ead of ou smiles.


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Psalm 16

The e is a bo& e'oiling f omhis o$n flesh.,e $as made $ith $ ong pa ts

but ight feelings about them.

Nothing is as lonel& as him.


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Psalm 1

" shouldn t ha)e let &ou $al% aloneto &ou 'a

but " didn t %no$ ho$ to sa& " $ant to be 'lose$ithout s' eaming it.

The e is nothing subtle about me at all.

!id &ou hea the one about the o%e shop o$neand the pie'e of st ing-Can t tell it. "t s too sill&.

" don t %no$ $h& it s this that

doesn t emba ass me.


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Psalm 3!

The e is a elief in &ou fa'e$hen " tell &ou " )e 'leaned the bath oom(and it is the same one " get $hen" eali e " don t eall& ha)e 'an'eli%e that one 'ha a'te in the mo)ie$e onl& half $at'hed last night.

" %no$ " need hobbiesthat don t e ui e open hea t su ge &(

but " 'an t stop m&self f om spea%ing.

Tongues a e bette than s'alpels in

this $a&.


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Psalm !"

" didn t $ant tomatoes but " lleat them an&$a&s." $ould athe upset m& stoma'h than &ou.

6ou sha%e &ou head and smile and

someone d e$ a po t ait of &ou butmissed the 'o ne of &ou mouth

b& a 'ouple 'entimete s.

"t didn t ma%e &ou un%ind.

"t didn t ma%e me not see that.

The e s a mo al in this some$he e" loo%ed fo it unde the oof of &ou mouth

but " thin% &ou might )e bit do$n too ha don &ou esol)e.

/hen " said so & &ou laughedand told me to $a%e up.


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Psalm #3

" 'alled &ou at midnightand t ied not to sound li%e " $as ' &ing.

" $onde ed if the e $as anothe $a& to sa&


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Psalm 113

/e a e ou o$n ootsand ou o$n $ate .


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J*N ,

$elp me help %o&

!oes the uiet miss &ou mouth-

" let &ou sleep$al% into the same mista%es" made $hen " $as d eaming.

" fo got $o ds fall out of meaningall the time and


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R&nning awa% e'er%thing

" ' eated &ou $ith the best intentions" s$ea (

but " thin% someone tapped ou lines.

/e#)e be'ome $a& too good at bad ideas and " thin%" m sta ting to be'ome less and less su eabout the all of e)e &thing.

hould &ou ha)e been fo med$ithout legso $ith thi t& thousand mo e of them-


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(rowning

Nothing is as full as empt& lo)e. Nothing is as doomed as &ou.

:ast night &ou felt emotion si'%nessfo the fi st time.6ou made an es'alato out of &ou app ehensionmistoo% it fo a stai 'ase and anand an and an and an and an and sometimesloneliness is li%e this.

:oneliness is li%e going no$he eand ne)e e)en %no$ing it.


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Swallowed ali'e

6ou a e no$he e no$he e no$he e no$he eno$he e no$he e no$he e

and " eall& hope " m some$he e.

" eall& hope " m not too an'ientto sa)e &ou.


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Peritoneal promises

6ou 'an ' a$l inside the a te iesof a $hales hea t.

6ou a e a $hale song " 'annot unhea .

6ou insides a e 'a)e nous &ou insides&ou insides &ou insides" thin% " $ant to li)e inside of &ou.

" thin% &ou p a&e s a e li%e s$eet blasphem&the $a& &ou mean them as &ou mean themmean them but ha dl& mean them.

" imagine if $e un out of all the diffe ent$a&s to hu t ea'h othe ($e#ll sta t lo)ing ea'h othe instead.


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Washed &p

" $ant to be $he e &ou a e and" $ant that to be enough.

" $ant to %no$ if s$allo$ed insin'e it&tastes bette than the so o$&ou esu e'ted f om the ba'% of &ou 'loset.

" $ant to %no$ if &ou miss tal%ing plain and t ue.

The uni)e se begs fo gi)eness.

" beg onl& &ou $et s%in pulled tight.

" beg onl& &ou elbo$s &ou teeth.


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TEN C*MM N!MENT

". !on t blame &ou self.

"". !on t lose it e)e & time someone loo%s at &ou.

""". !on t get too )ague a ound thei hips.

">. !on t p etend li%e &ou don t 'a e about the si e of &ou feet. 6ou do.

>. !on t p etend li%e &ou don t 'a e about an&thing.

>". !on t t & to p o)e o%a&.

>"". !on t use people to b eathe. The& ma%e fo lous& lungs.

>""". !on t be'ome anothe impossible thing.

"?. !on t allo$ me to fall too deep into this.

?. !on t fo get to fo gi)e me( $hen " fall too deep into this.


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M 7! :ENE

he didn#t %no$ mu'h e+'ept foshe $as not an o&ste .

he 'ould not p ess he age into he palmsto ' eate something full& fo med.The e $as nothing full& fo medabout he .

,e mothe often said she 'a ied he esentmenta ound he shoulde s.@!on#t slou'h. it up.A

,e fathe often said she ate too mu'h. Too ui'%l&.@ lo$ do$n Magg&.8o&s li%e a little m&ste &.A

8ut the bo& do$n the st eet saidhe 'ould see hea)en bet$een he legsand the e $as nothing m&ste ious at allabout the tone of his )oi'e.

he didn#t %no$ mu'h e+'ept fo

she $as he o$n undoing.

he $as undoing e)e &thing she e)e pie'ed ba'% togetheall b& he self.


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CB;;ENT TE T MENT

The e is a e'ipe of me

T$o pa ts open ebellion*ne 'an of in'u able unmeasu able sadness*ne ua t of " m o%a&*ne half 'up of th ee M eali ation that the e a etoo man& unspea%able t uthsli%e the fa't that all ho ses a e sla)es andnobod& eall& %no$s $hat to do $ith thei hands.T$o tablespoons of d opped pun'tuation sti ed $ithmush ooms epiphanies and a p omise

" s$ea " $ill get this ighton m& deathbed.

8a%ed fo t$ent& th ee &ea snd se )ed $ith si+teen sli'es of 'u'umbe s.


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