BOB LOSYK

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

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Bob Losyks book, Get a Grip!, is exactly what the doctor ordered:finally, a book thats easy to read and gives you choices in combat-ing the real killer, stress.

Carl C. Thompson, ExecutiveDirector, Society of GovernmentMeeting Professionals

This book provides the antidote to a chronic killer in the work-place. Up-to-date information and practical tips, mixed with moti-vation for survivors. Highly recommended!

Dianna Booher, Speak withConfidence: Powerful Presentations

That Inform, Inspire, and Persuade

Bob Losyks book, Get a Grip!, can help you identify whether youare a candidate for burnout. More importantly, Bob providesproven solutions for effectively coping with workplace stress. Youowe it to yourself, your family, and your co-workers to read Get aGrip!

Don Wilson, President and CEO,Association of Small BusinessDevelopment Centers

Get a Grip! is filled with practical steps and techniques for de-stressing your life and getting the most out of every day. A must-read for anyone who wants to thrive in the twenty-first century.

Daniel Burrus, Technotrends

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Get a Grip! is a book everyone should read in these fast-paced,highly stressful times. Its a reader friendly book, filled with us-able, practical advice for eliminating stress for everyone in allwalks of life.

Dr. Tony Alessandra, The Platinum Rule

Just in time! Stress! Life-work balance is out of balance! Its timeto Get a Grip! This well-written, comprehensive, advice-filled bookis a welcome tool for all of usfor today and tomorrow.

Roger E. Herman, Impending Crisis:Too Many Jobs, Too Few People

Get a Grip! is like a users manual for people living in todayspressure cooker world. Get it today and start to live again!

Joe Calloway, Becoming a Categoryof One

For those dealing with stress, this is a must-read book. Whetheryour stress is created from pressures at work or demands at home,Bob Losyk provides a step-by-step process for addressing thephysical, mental, and emotional symptoms brought on by a stress-filled life.

Bill Hardman, President and CEO,Southeast Tourism Society

Thankfully, Get a Grip! is not overwhelming high tech but is filledwith warm, clear, simple, practical ideas. Some books on stressleave me feeling even more uptight because I am not doing thingsright; however, Bob Losyks book relaxed me just reading it!Thank you, Bob, for a concise and gentle guide to making ourlives even more joyful.

Barbara Glanz, Handle with CAREMotivating and Retaining Employees

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If youve ever felt stress slowing down your journey to success(and I assume that includes everyone), this book could changeyour life. In Get a Grip!, Bob Losyk teaches you how stress works,why you feel burned out, and how to put joy back in your life.

Roger Dawson, Secrets of Power Negotiating

Feeling overworked, underpaid, overstressed, or burned out?Then get a grip and purchase this book by Bob Losyk. Get a Grip!offers practical advice for everyone who is feeling overwhelmedby todays frantic work pace. This is the one thing you must addto your to-do list!

Cathy Fyock, Get the Best

Everyone should take the time to read Get a Grip! It is a great toolfor dealing with stress in todays hectic world. I will share Get aGrip! with my co-workers, family, and friends.

Dean H. Crawford, Senior Vice President,Yogi Bears Jellystone Park Camp Resorts

Stress is a major problem in todays work environment. As aleading expert, Bob Losyk understands how to overcome stress.Get a Grip! is a powerful, practical, and informative book for any-one who has a job.

Marc Slutsky, Streetfighter Marketing

Are you burned out? Well, take some time outto read this book.It will show you a way out. Youll be glad you did.

Gregory J.P. Godek, 1001 Ways to Be Romantic

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In an age when stress can literally kill, this book is a lifesaver. BobLosyk truly does have the answers.

Bill Brooks, The New Science of Selling and Persuasion

Get a Grip! could not be more timely. Bob Losyk has providedunique and refreshing ideas that tackle the real intangible facet ofour everyday worldstress.

M. Lance Miller, J.D., Executive VicePresident, Metal Treating Institute

Bob Losyks Get a Grip! is packed with great ideas for those whowant to reduce the level of stress in their life.

Michael LeBoeuf, How to Win Customers and Keep Them for Life

Rarely does a books title capture the essence of its contents. Get aGrip! is sprinkled with practical, real-world scenarios of peoplewith whom we can all relate. Bob Losyks translation of academicresearch teaches us lessons about ourselves and others to bringbalance and harmony that will clearly resonate with each of us.Enjoy your journeyI know you will.

Edward E. Scannell, Games Trainers Play series

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BOB LOSYK

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

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Copyright 2005 by Bob Losyk. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ortransmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 ofthe 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permissionof the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copyfee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com.Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the PermissionsDepartment, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author haveused their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations orwarranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of thisbook and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability orfitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by salesrepresentatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies containedherein may not be suitable for your situation. The publisher is not engaged inrendering professional services, and you should consult a professional whereappropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profitor any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental,consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services, or technical support,please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at 800-762-2974, outside the United States at 317-572-3993 or fax 317-572-4002.

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content thatappears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information

Get a Grip! is a trademark belonging to Bob Losyk.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Losyk, Bob.Get a grip! : overcoming stress and thriving in the workplace / Bob

Losyk.p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.ISBN 0-471-65949-5 (pbk.)1. Job stress. 2. Stress management. I. Title.

HF5548.85.L67 2004158.7'2dc222004015430

Printed in the United States of America.

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about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.

http://www.copyright.comhttp://www.wiley.com

To the one true love of my life, Lois.

To my maternal grandparents, Antonio andFilomena DeAngelo, for their love and inspiration.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

More than anyone else, I must thank my wife, Lois, forher undying love and inspiration, and her steadfastencouragement. Her countless hours of research, sugges-tions, and insights made this project much easier.

Over the years I have been inspired and informed bymany different early researchers, authors, and masters ofstress reduction techniques. Some of the authors, such asHans Selye and Walter Cannon, are mentioned in this bookand in the reference section. There are many others, morethan I can mention here. I thank all of them for their work.Additionally, I would like to thank all those people whotook the time to answer my questions and offer their sug-gestions and insights.

I thank the many clients who have brought me into theirorganizations for my consulting services to make positivechange within their workforce. Thanks to the many meetingplanners and association executives who have used mykeynotes and seminars to make a difference with their mem-bers. A special acknowledgment goes to the many audienceparticipants who have shared their secrets and ideas on howthey deal with everyday stress.

A word of special thanks goes to Matt Holt, editor at JohnWiley & Sons, and all the other people at Wiley who inter-

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faced with me. Thank you for your faith in the book andyour professionalism. Your suggestions and help made thisproject come to fruition.

There are some people whose names I must mention, asover the years they have served as a source of inspiration,motivation, information, and laughter. First, there are Garyand Alice Allington, who can truly show anyone how to seethe beauty and good in life. Next are Bill Panella and GerdaCarroll, whose sense of humor and fun allow others to real-ize it is okay to have fun, be silly, and enjoy life to the fullest.Then, there are Donna and Frank Horkey, who haveachieved life balance by knowing how to work hard andplay hard. Finally, there are my two cousins, both namedRon DeAngelo, who know how to get back up when timesare down. I am glad they are all in my life.

Finally, I must mention Beau, my dog, for all the years hehas given Lois and me of walking miles and miles, makingus laugh, and helping to relax us. His love has deepened ourlove for each other. He is one of the best destressors we haveever known.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

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CONTENTS

Introduction xvii

1 Why Are We So Stressed Out? 1How Stress Impacts the Workplace 3Why the Workplace Is Stressing You Out 5What Is Stress? 9What Stress Is Doing to You 14

2 Get a Grip or Burn Out 23Burnouts Impact 23What Is Burnout? 28The Four Stages of Burnout 29Getting a Grip on Burnout 31

3 Shaping Up to Keep Stress Down 41Why Working Out Keeps the Stress Out 43Common Sense Tips for Getting Started 46Three Ways to Destress 51Walking Away Stress 54Strengthening Your Grip 57More Choices to Check Out 60

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4 The Mind-Body Connection 65The Secret of the Ages 66Meditation: What It Can Do for You 69Meditation Guidelines 72Breathing: The Life Force 79Three Methods to Mellow Mindfulness 83

5 Destressing Tools for Mind, Body, and Spirit Fitness 89Stretching for Destressing 89Pilates 93Tai Chi 94ChiGong 97Yoga 100

6 Whats Food Got to Do with It? 105Stress and the Brain Connection 105Whats Eating You? 108

7 Tackling Stress with a Tickle 119The Benefits of Laughter 119Letting More Laughter into Your Life 125Employees Just Want to Have Fun 131

8 Staying Sane While Traveling at Warped Speed 137Trying to Balance It All 138If You Do Not Know Where You Are Going,

Any Road Will Take You There 145

9 Get a Grip on Time 155Tracking Your Time 156If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail 158Getting Loose from Time Abuse 161Perkies versus Grumpies 164

CONTENTS

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Procrastination: The Saboteur of Success 164Cleaning Up Stuff 166Meeting Madness 170

10 Fifty Ways to Leave Your Stressors 175

11 Getting and Keeping Your Grip 201Setting New Goals for a Thriving Life 201The Choice Is Yours 208

References 211

About the Author 215

Contents

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INTRODUCTION

You must have a lot of stress in your life, otherwise youwould not have picked up this book. You are not alone.This is why everyone else takes the book off the shelf.Within the following chapters, you will find help and realsolutions. Only you can make the changes. You cannot elim-inate all the stressors in your life; no one can. But, you candramatically reduce them, and have a much better quality oflife. You have already taken the first step by picking up andpurchasing this book.

Stress may be the biggest single reason we get sick or dieprematurely. Every health problem from headaches to heartattacks, from psychosomatic disorders to stroke, can belinked to what is becoming known as the plague of thetwenty-first century. Stress quietly builds up in our bodies atwork every day, and then we take it home with us, wherecircumstances so often compound it. We begin the next daystarting the cycle all over again, so it continues to build up.Our bodies, minds, and spirits can only take so much. If youignore the buildup, stress will eventually take its toll.

We must get a grip on stress or pay the price physically,mentally, and spiritually. You cannot rid yourself of all thestress you encounter each day, but you can keep it at a levelthat has less of a negative impact on your health. If you per-

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form the physical, mental, and spiritual exercises in thisbook, you will create a positive impact on your health andimmensely improve your life. You will improve your think-ing and attitude, plus put more fun in your life. There is nodownside to destressing.

WHY THIS BOOK?

There are many books available on the subject of stress be-cause it is a common problem. But many of the books are notwritten for everyone. Some are totally research-based, loadedwith research, medical jargon, and footnotes that make it dif-ficult to understand. Other books are written in such an im-practical manner that they are difficult to read, let aloneimplement, and they bounce around from subject to subject.

This book is written with you in mind, whether you are intop or middle management, on the front line, or do notwork. Get a Grip! is a practical book filled with strategiesthat work. I realize you do not have hours of free time to im-plement many complicated, difficult, and time-consumingideas. That is why I have given you tips and tools that are soeasy to use you can practice many of them immediately. Thefill-in exercises and most of the ideas and techniques takeonly a few minutes to do. For those who want to delve fur-ther into Eastern practices of meditation and movement, Ihave given you an introduction to help educate you in ordermake the decision.

MY APPROACH

I have written this book as if we were having a discussion,or as if you were sitting in one of my stress management

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seminars. I take a holistic approach, using techniques thatintegrate the body, mind, and spirit. I give you practical andproven advice and strategies to destress, relax, and recharge.The book provides you with many different techniques tocombat and reverse the stress in your life. By having manychoices you can pick the methods that you enjoy the most,that fit into your lifestyle, and that mesh with your busyschedule. I realize that not all the methods will appeal toyou. Start out slowly with simple practices and work yourway up. You cannot master everything instantly. Remember:All journeys begin with the first step.

HOW THE CHAPTERS ARE ORGANIZED

In Chapter 1, I look at why everybody these days is stressedmore than ever. I discuss the causes of workplace stress, andthe impact it has on organizations. I follow with a discus-sion in everyday language of what stress is, and the toll ittakes on your body, mind, and spirit. You will learn whyyou must get a grip on stress.

Chapter 2 defines burnout and its impact on your health. Itake you through the stages of burnout, and help you deter-mine if you are on the path to burnout. You will learn thedangers of becoming burned out, what the warning signsare, and what you can do about it.

In Chapter 3, I show how exercise is the perfect antidotefor getting rid of stress. You will learn common sense tipsfor exercising without having to spend hours of time andmoney. I will take you through the benefits of strength train-ing, walking, cardiovascular fitness, and other exercises.You can then decide which forms of exercise best fit yourlifestyle and schedule.

Meditation is the main theme of Chapter 4. I give you

Introduction

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the many benefits of practicing meditation, as well as thehow, when, and where of its practice. I also show you howto use affirmations and visualization. You will learn how tobreathe properly to decrease stress, plus simple, yet effec-tive meditations that can be done anytime and in almostany place.

Chapter 5 gives you five more ways to destress. I takeyou through the basics of stretching and its benefits. Youwill learn about the healthy benefits of Pilates-based exer-cise and Yoga. Eastern practices of Tai Chi and ChiGong areexplored in enough detail for you to make a decisionwhether to pursue them further. I debunk some of the falsemisconceptions about these practices, and show you whatwonderful tools they can be for living a more relaxed andhappier life.

In Chapter 6 you will discover the role that diet plays inyour stress levels. I will tell you how your choices in foodcan either calm you or stress you. We will look at the realreasons people eat, and how eating healthy can changeyour mood, your weight, and your physical and mentalwell-being.

You will learn how lightening up and laughing are pow-erful stress fighters in Chapter 7. You will discover ways toseek out and find humor where you least expect it. I willshow you the benefits of implementing more fun activitiesin the workplace. I also give you guidelines to make yourworkplace more fun, creative, and productive.

Chapter 8 helps you to take an up-close look at how youare living your life, what your true priorities are, and showsyou how to balance it all. You will realize the dangers of be-coming a slaveaholic, always working more because youare wanting more. You will learn how to leave work behindand to pay more attention to the people and things that re-ally matter to you.

INTRODUCTION

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Getting a grip on your time will enable you to feel lessstress. In Chapter 9, you will learn to use a time log and findout where your time goes each day. You will find ways toplan and prioritize your day to get more done. Importantways to get rid of interruptions and be more productive aregiven to you. Finally, you will learn how to clean up your of-fice and home so that they are not bogging you down andstressing you out.

Chapter 10 gives you 50 more ways to lessen the stress inyour life. Chapter 11 shows you how to make changes bysetting goals. You will create your own action plan so youcan implement the changes you need in order to have amore stress-free life.

HOW TO GET THE MOST FROM THIS BOOK

The chapters are arranged in a logical, progressive order.They are also designed so that you can read them in se-quence or go to any chapter that catches your interest. Iwould suggest reading Chapter 1 first so you get an idea ofwhat stress is and what it does to your body. Each chapter isseparated into headings and subheadings, so you canquickly find the gist of a topic. You can finish a section, putthe book down, and easily come back to the next section.

Do every exercise you can, and keep track of everychange you make. It will help you to stay motivated, andenable you to track your progress. This will also help you tobe aware of what you have done in the past, and theprogress of your changing along the way. Tracking yourchanges will help you to be more focused, aware, and incontrol of your stress.

Change is difficult to make. It makes us feel uncomfort-able, because our everyday routine is upset. But think about

Introduction

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what stress is doing to you, your lifestyle, and the lives ofthose most near and dear to you. Is this the way you want tolive your life? You can go on trapped everyday in a stress-filled world, on your way to burnout and bad health, or youcan make the commitment to do something about it. Thechoice is yours. The solutions are in this book.

INTRODUCTION

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