building healthy marriages - magellanmflc.org · • part of creating a healthy marriage is...
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BUILDING HEALTHY MARRIAGES
Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors
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OBJECTIVES
Participants will learn to:
• Define a healthy marriage
• Develop tools to create a healthy marriage
• Maintain a healthy marriage
• Deal with conflict in the marriage
• Maintain personal boundaries
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AGENDA
• Definition of a Healthy Marriage
• Building a Healthy Marriage
• Communication Skills
• Negotiation
• Conflict Resolution
• In Conclusion
• Summary
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DEFINITION OF A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
• Mutual respect
• Mutual trust
• Open communication
• Acceptance of each other -
just the way you are
• Respect for personal
boundaries
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BUILDING A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
• Develop a context for the marriage
• Identify what you have to give in a marriage
• Become part of a group that promotes positive interactions
between members
• Work on communication skills
• Learn effective ways to deal with conflict
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BUILDING A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
• Build and enrich the marital friendship
• Identify and honor values, ideals and goals of each
other, the relationship, the family
• Take the time to increase intimacy – both emotional and
sexual
• Create rituals that
celebrate the marriage,
the family, and connect
you to the community
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CONTINUED
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COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• Be attentive to what is said
• Clarify understanding
• Listen for the feelings being communicated
• Notice body language
• Avoid mental rehearsal of your response while the other
person is talking
• Use “I” messages when you do respond
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NEGOTIATION
• Figure out how to meet the needs of the
other person without losing sight of your
own goals or needs
• Create a “win-win” attitude and solutions
• Seek consensus, be willing to compromise
• Avoid power struggles
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CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Roadblocks to success - Criticism, contempt,
defensiveness, stubbornness, overwhelming
emotions
Helpful solutions
• Accept that some conflict is normal
• Not all problems are solvable
• Agree to work with each other on what you
can do
• Attack the problem not each other
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IN CONCLUSION
• Respect each other’s differences
• Be open and non-defensive in listening to each
other’s thoughts and feelings
• Exhibit appropriate trust toward each other
• Recognize you can’t change each other
• Regularly assess yourself for areas that you can
improve upon
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SUMMARY
• Part of creating a healthy marriage is developing a
mutual respect and trust for each other
• Learning how to communicate is important and takes
practice
• It’s important to work on the friendship in addition to the
romantic aspects of the relationship – a marriage needs
to be built on more than just romance
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QUESTIONS?
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RESOURCES
• Military Community Services
• Chaplain and Local Clergy
• Military OneSource (800) 342-9647
• TRICARE www.Tricare.mil
• Behavioral Health Services
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THANK YOU