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Jivana: Raver J, the tale of an awakening bodhisattva by JIVANA (Book Excerpt)
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This is a fictional autobiography. Names, characters, places, incidents, are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as completely real. The general story has been inspired by the current socio-political-environmental climate and the metaphysical journey of the author.
Jivana: Raver J, the tale of an awakening bodhisattva Copyright © 2016 JIVANA
Cover Artist: Sigma Collective Editor: Sweep Lotus
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
JIVANA
www.raverj.com
Thank you to my husband for your loving support throughout the years, as well as a myriad of friends and colleagues (too many to name here but will be given special mentions at the end of Track 6) that have aided me on my path. Thank you to my editor Sweep Lotus, your belief in me has truly added extra and deserved sparkly magic to this work. A special shout out to the rising sisterhood and to all the activists and artivists who work tirelessly toward a paradigm shift for a more
Copyright Raver J 2015
beautiful, equal, compassionate, and egalitarian world, free of suffering for all sentient beings.
This is dedicated to all those waking up to new realities. Especially those within my beloved global rave and electronic music loving communities regardless of preferred genre ;) My intention is that this work helps to validate the awakenings and to be a resource through the inevitable processing, the path.
Copyright Raver J 2015
Tips on how to read my story Koch is pronounced “Cock”.
Use the footnotes, glossary, and reference guides.
Play your favorite electronic music.
Breathe.
Know that I wrote this for you.
Copyright Raver J 2015
This is my fictional autobiography. It is a metaphysical fiction about how I came
to be the person I am today. My character came to me in the summer of 2003 on
a hot, muggy, mosquito-laden night in a family lake cabin in New Hampshire.
Although my eyes were closed, I was wide awake with insomnia when her vision
came to me.
On some level I was probably trying to figure out my life although I was not
consciously thinking in those terms at the time. I was just wishing my mind would
quiet, and my body would cool so I could get some sleep. Instead, I received a
download.
I had never experienced a “dream” such as this one and so I took it seriously.
That night I watched as my character and her two sidekicks were created and a
business plan of sorts unfolded. I remember making a pact to myself that I would
invest at least twenty years of my life to making her story real. However, after
that night, I realized I didn’t have a story… I had a character, more like a brand. I
trusted the story would come. And so I began my journey filled with magic and
synchronicity, with blossoming paths and twinkling moments. My character,
Raver J, became my muse. She materialized as I walked my path to create her,
so my journey and hers are closely interwoven. To share her story is to share
my own personal evolution. I have come to believe that modeling behavior is
important. Part of that process is sharing stories and, in a grander sense,
creating new myths. This story has become a living cosplay and is part of my
activism. It is my artivism to co-create the change in the world I wish to see.
Copyright Raver J 2015
FOREWORD
By J I V A N A
When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
–Jimi Hendrix
There is the world of fear, and the world of love. Every moment of every day we are making small choices of thought or action of how we choose to live and experience life. How we choose to hold and manifest our power. The current consensus reality is still a world of fear. But we have begun to wake up to a new reality, and we are finding one another.
We are like one giant Alliance. Spread across the globe. We go by many names. We are the Emergent Culture- emerging from and evolving out of the old, fading, fear-based paradigms. Like adventitious flowers after a wildfire, we erupt from and are connected to a mycelium network of art, music, and dance. We are here to share love and healing, and to reclaim our true relationship with Earth before it’s… too late. Our emergence was prophesied. Children of the rainbow, of all cultures awakening and unifying as one Love Tribe. But waking is not enough, we must act, because we are not fated; the future is in our hands. We must evolve collectively before our past
Copyright Raver J 2015
agreements, many still follow unquestioningly, exercise our own extinction.
I am just one of the many co-creators in this vision for a better world. A world we believe can be inclusive of all, conscious of our actions, and based in unconditional love and trust. We are seeing the world now in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration. Like Nikola Tesla said, those are the terms in which we must think to unlock the secrets of the universe. We are reclaiming our magic, our personal power, through love. And we must do this, so we can all contribute to bringing about HOPE (Helping Other People Evolve). We will need others. We need each other, to change the world, because the container to hold the vision is large. It is not merely seeing a new vision, but consciously, and collectively carrying it.
Over the years, people have wanted to know my story. How did I become part of the Emergent Culture, a global tribunal responsible for shouldering the shifting Chrysalis of our world in this potent time? With the lens of the rave; watching the waves of change pour over us with Wonder, Love, and Hope. Learning to listen to my Heart, get in tune with the Eternal Beat, and allow myself to become One and Sound.
I contribute my tale to perpetuate a new story for this world. We need new stories to inspire and forge our future in egalitarian and ecologically harmonious ways. My story is compiled from both memories and journal entries I kept throughout my personal journey of awakening. Here is my story. Dance with me.
Copyright Raver J 2015
Beat: The eTicket
The morning after my first rave, I found myself waking slowly into the
consciousness of a new and almost unspeakable glory. A gift endowed to me from
the collective energy of all the other that had joined me in that electric arena the
night before. This glory was beyond the magic of words, although I’ll try -pure,
vibrating Love. A radiating, reverberating, all pervading-ness which flushed my
cheeks, filled my veins and arteries, and every single cell in a bath of flash-strobing
bliss. Perhaps the only word needed is “alive”.
Suddenly, I sat straight up in bed completely panicked.
“Oh good, you’re alive, Raver-princess!”
My eyes darted to the corner of my room. Oh good, not a burglar with a fancy for
flattery; it was just my new friend Marty. I blinked to make sure he was real, and
attempted eye contact, no doubt with vestigial mydriasis.
Giddy like a little girl and out of normal character, I shrieked a little and then
exclaimed, “Oh my god ! …. Yeeeeeeeeees, more than you know.” My hands ran over
my hair and neck noticing some matting and knots nearing my nape. Must be from
the sweat. I danced for hours the night before. My eyes closed again- not out of
tiredness, but in an attempt to continue to feel that glorious bliss. I breathed in
deeply.
Copyright Raver J 2015
“Oh, I know,” he chuckled. From his tone, I imagined he most likely rolled his eyes in
a vicarious, light-hearted spirit. “Next time you don’t have to go quite so hard. Good
thing you had Shakra and I and the rest of the crew to take care of you. You did not
abide by the flight instructions”. His scolding melted into a deep rolling laughter.
“Although it was your first time, and we rarely do. Hard to contain. How do you feel
now?”
“Good”, I smiled contentedly, and let the word linger in a drawl longer than it
should.
“Good” he mimicked.
“So we’re back already?” I asked, feeling like a pouty child.
“We stayed for awhile. The rest of the crew stayed longer but you needed to come
back home. You had quite the night. First times. Wow Wo-myn…. You have no idea
how that party will be one of your very best.”
Womyn? I felt newly born, or maybe five, eight, at very most thirteen.
“My dreams were so beautiful and vivid…. They almost seemed real.”
“Maybe they were,” Marty winked.
I noticed that my bedroom looked as if it had been sprinkled with glitter. Although, I
realized after a few seconds, it was glimmer on the dust floating in the light from
sunbeams peeking through my curtains.
Copyright Raver J 2015
“Yes, isn’t that lovely?” The word “lovely,” from Marty's deep, low-booming voice,
made the memory of this moment even more dreamlike.
“I’m not sure what’s more amazing, last night or my dreams. Ha wait!” Sizzling like
a Tesla coil, “I take that back; last night for sure blows pretty much any experience
I’ve ever had in my entire life out of the park of possibly.… possibilities?” What was I
saying?
“It’s a lot of energy,” he said.
“And color, and lights, and music, and people.…” Every thought made me bounce in
my bed. Bouncing as I spoke, a fun habit I must have quickly assimilated from Marty
the night before.
“And Love…. Yup, yup.” Dropping his deep voice a notch, it sounded almost
inaudibly bass-like under his breath. “Imagine if the world could be like that all the
time.” He sounded reminiscent, longing, as he watched the sun glimmer in subtle
wonder.
“I am! I can!” Already I wanted it to be. “It’s so beautiful!” I exclaimed in a sudden
burst of energy. My voice softened, “It must be the first thing anyone thinks of after
they experience that…,” trailing off, feeling like I was floating on a cloud. My eyes
fluttered softly like butterfly wings helping keep me afloat until a wet gust of fear
heavied them. I fell off my cloud in a free fall of anxiety My hands instinctively and
frantically moved over my bedspread.
“Don’t worry; it’s only Sunday.”
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“Oh wow, I thought I was late getting up to go to work!” Silly. I felt silly, loose in my
thoughts, and sloppy in my mannerisms.
“I know,” he said, laughing a little.
I slumped back in relief.
In the corner of my room, Marty’s blinking visor brought my attention to the outfit
he was still wearing; neon green, baggy overalls; small stuffed animals somehow
attached to a myriad of plastic bead bracelets that covered his arms like tattoo
sleeves; and a strobing whistle as a necklace.
“I’ll get going now, I was assigned to make sure you got into bed safely,” he assured
me.
“How long have you been here?”
“Several hours.”
“And awake the whole time?”
“Oh yeah….”
“Thank you….”
“Anytime, Girl. I figured out your music system so it’s all good.”
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Oh yes, music…. Of course…. adding to the magic was an enchantingly chill electronic
soundtrack.
Marty got up to leave. “You have water by your bed. I put an electrolyte tablet in it
to rehydrate you. Just letting you know in case it tastes funny. I’ve already set you
up in the kitchen, so do me a favor and drink some orange juice today, and eat some
cashews and dried kiwis.
Dried Kiwis? “Where did you get all that stuff from?” I wondered out loud.
“Ha ha, yeah, I keep supplies handy in the trunk.”
Then I remembered as I changed into my outfit in the parking lot the cooler he had
back there.
“Anyway princess, the OJ is in the fridge, cashews are in a bowl on the counter.
Make sure to rest. And most importantly, enjoy it.” He had turned toward the door
but twisted back slightly to add, “Oh, and, cool curtains. as he tossed me the curtain
remote.
“Can we go back now?” I teased, then pulled my duvet up to my chin to get cozy.
Reaching out of my cocoon to pick up the glass of water on my bed-stand, I caught
the reflection in my heart-shaped glasses. A blonde frizzy blend of bed-head, dance-
fried hair.
“Ha! I was just thinking the same thing. We can talk about that later, J. For now, just
chill, and recover. We’ll be checking in on you.”
Copyright Raver J 2015
I hit a button that started the procession of my automatic curtains. Bright daylight
flooded the room. Reacting with a primal photophobia, I scrambled to hit the
reverse button. Rolling to my side, I curled up in fetal position.
For now, I will stay in my womb.
I wanted to dream again, lucidly. To revisit the revelry with all the ravers. To find
myself again under a sky of stars- surrounded by bountiful, bouncing tutus, and
abundant bass. Flower crowns and cascading colors, saturating the senses, coming
at me from all directions.
Shockingly, the flowy blossoming bliss from my heart, retracted speedily like a sea
anemone to stimuli. I twinged from the new panic as if it were a piercing vibration;
if it had a sound, sharp. The signal of a latent desire. The warning sound to recall
that last, strange dream. The luminous one. Nearly crystal clear, I had thought while
having it. The one just before I awoke. A dream I feared would fade quickly from my
mind. An image, of myself, like an electric butterfly, burn-embossed into the ether,
suspended above the massive party, entangled in a euphoric, energetic web - a
celestial and pulsating, collective heart-field of all my fellow ravers.
I breathed in deeply and within the sigh I silently exclaimed what was echoing in my
mind,
We are all connected.
I closed my eyes and sank back into my bed overcome by undulating bliss.
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Copyright Raver J 2015