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Marashio, Nancy; And Otherswriting: A Window to Our Minds. Writing Teachers atWork.California Univ., Berkeley. School of Education.Carnegie Corp. of New York, N.Y.; National Endowmentfur the Humanities (NFAH), Washington, D.C.82174p.; Prepared through National Writing Project.Publications Department, Bay Area Writing Project,5635 Tolman Hall, School of Education, University ofCalifornia, Berkeley,TA 94720. Request "Publicationsfor Teachers" for ordering information.Books (010) -- Viewpoints (120)

MF01 Plos Postage. PC Not Available from EDRS.DESCRIPTORS Elementary Education; Grade 8; Peer Teaching;

Personal Narratives; *Student Developed Materials;*Student Experience; *Student Writing Models;*Writing (Composition); Writing Instruction; *WritingProcesses

IDENTIFIERS National Writing Project

ABSTRACTA first-hand account of eighth grade students'

experiences in learning. to write, this monograph, written bystc;.lents, provides teachers and students with a model for talkingabout the writing procegs. The comments ir. the monograph reflect thestudents' belief that'people can learn to,be good writers by writingfrequently, sharir their writing and their criticisms withclassmw6es, and disLissing their writing process. Appendiies containvarious teacher teactions to the writing program and a copy of onestudent's theme. (HOD)

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CC) Points of view or opini ins stated in this docu_.. ... ..._ ----

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position or policy4:a

P1416

5), Writing:fig A Window to Our MindsL&J

by Center School's Eighth%radersand Nancy Marashio

editorial assistance bySarah Dan6i.idge'

60 The National Writing ProjectUn!versity of California, Berkeley

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"PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE THISMATERIAL IN MICROFICHE ONLYHAS BEEN GRANTED BY

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The National Writing Project is an effort by school teachers, collegefaculty, and curriculum specialits'to improve the teaching of writing atall levels of education. The Project is funded by the Carnegie Corpora-tion of New York, the National Endowment for the Humanities, theSchool of Education of the University of California, Berkeley, -localuniversities, school districts, and other funding agencies. The findings ofthis study do not necessarily represent the views of the National Endow.ment for the Humanities or the Carnegie Corporation of New York.Individuals desiring information concerning the National Writing Projectshould write to National Writing Project, Tolman Hall, University of Cal-ifornia, Berkeley, California 94720.

Series editor: Gerald Camp

Cover design: Nancy Harris

Typesetting: Yvonne NotaroJanet Kodish

19' t' II Illi I Ill \ I \ ail ( .1111, i I it I kCIC

3

Preface

Freq,uently we as teachers are so voncerned with imparting oknowledge to students that we forget that students, too, can teach atthey are learning; that in fact, their ability to teach each other is not onlya testament of how much they've learned but also one of the mosteffectiye tools to reach other students. By writing about how they'velea' ned to write, Nancy Marashio's eighth graders, demonstrate that writ-ing is a powerful journey into oneself and that part of that power comesfrom bringing the journey into daylight to be shared with others. Thesestudents have willingly invited us to look through the "windows of theirminds" into rooms full of candor and commitment, ideas and feelings.Their voices are real and their learning honest. One writer confides,"Your writing can become better if you express your real feelingsfinit.For instance, mine did." In their vulnerability they speak to otheir stu-dents in ways a teacher,never can

To me, this is their book's strength and gift: finally here is a first-hand account of students learning to write, written by students for stu-dents, (and for teachers as well). These eighth graders believe peoplecan learn to be good writers by writing frequently, sharing their writingand their criticisms with classmates, and discussing their writing process.Their book provides every classroom, teacher and students, with agenuine model for talking about the writing profess. I'll use this book inmy classes to let student writers speak to their peers. I can hardly wait toread pertinent parts aloud and to encourage individual students to readthis book on their own so that they can learn from and feel supported bywriters their own age. When an eighth grader says so clearly, "....don'tgive up....Writing, copying, crossing out and ripping up are all a part ofimprovingo". I know my students will listen and believe much morereadily because it's the voice of a peer. The authors' tone of caring, andcommitment to writing and to each other can't help but permeate a class-room and motivate students .to continue writing.

Writing: A Window to Our Minds provides a model for talking aboutlearning how to write, a process these insightful students feel is a key

T.

,ingredient to 'becoming a good writer. it is an example of a way of learn-ing that most teachers and students are unfamiliar with There aremoments when students see clearly what they know and how they know,when "their talk is real and frank because' they speak from experience.These are the moments when the teacher steps aside and student exper-tise becomes the heart and soul of learning. This is the power of thisbook, of these students' voices, of writing. Their writing is so truthfuland compelling that it will guide and teach others on their own writing.journey.

Sarah DandridgeTeacher /Consultant.Bay Area Writing ProjectUniversity of California, Berkeley

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Contents

Proface

Foreword

Part One: Students as Primary Source 2

An Eighth Grade Monograph? 4Writing 10

Part Tvyo: A Window to Our Minds 26

E Theme #1 Panic2. Developing Ideas3. Structuring4. Sharing5. Expressing Feelings6. Changing

303856

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116

Part Three: Writers . . . Growing 124

Appendix ATheme Day at Windham Center School:Faculty Views 154

Appendix BGeoffrey by Lara Chulack 159

Appendix CSkills for Themes Chart 167

Resources 169

The Authors 172ep

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Foreword4

This book, like so many other events that affect eighth grade stu-dents, is a reflection of their struggle to unfold their opinions, ideas, andexperiences. It is representative of the restless search require' to syn-thesize and interpret their thoughts and reactions at a time of their liveswhen an explosion of emotional, social, physical, and intellectualknowledge engulfs their very existence.

The readers of this book should note that like its authors, the bookis a continuous cycle of growth which derives its energies from withinand manifests itself through the written expression. It can also beobserved as a process of evolution in which skills are developed and formand style become characteristically unique.

In addition, this book is a critical demonstration of our faith in theteaching-learning process, a process which requires the dedicated exper-tise and guidance of the mentor and the willing desire and spirit ofinquiry of the student. Together, these two elements are allowed tointeract in a flexible and open environment for the purpose of promotingthat growth cycle. It is a vivid example of what can be a real testimonyto our public school, a school which can and does reach out to encourageand support meaningful learning experiences.

- I -

Henry E. LaBrancheSuperintendent of SchoolsWindham, New HampshireMarch 16, 1981

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PART; ONE:

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STUDENTS AS PRIMARY SOURCE

What we think we teach is hot always what students learn. For thatreason every other year or so I get on a learning journal kick. Studentsrecord daily what they learn in my class. Often what they say is not whatI attempted to communicate, but always their viewpoint is interesting.

Our monograph could serve as this eighth grade's learning journalabout writing, for it is a record of what they are writing and thinkingabout writing. Every student was encouraged to participate in this pro-cess, since each is a developing student writer. The results may beconfusing at times. because the contradictions were not discarded., Thefocus might be clearer if I had at least limited the participants to oneclass, but selecting one would have meant rejecting four others, and Icould see no reason for such rejection. Some students cho le to becomemore involved than others, but all 117 worked on the monograph, justi-fying h me their right to be included.

The progression of the chapters is from the process we followed informing the monograph, to the student writing about writing, to someresults of both their writing and the process. Only one result startled me.These students a. a involved in what Britton calls "expressive" writing. Iexpected easy transition from that to the communicative aspect requiredby the writing of a monograph, yet that transition is the shakiest part ofour work. Obviously, application of the writing process from one kind ofwriting to another is what we have to learn next. But for now, we sharewith you this student expression of Writing: A Window To Our Minds.

o

An Eighth Grade Monograph?e .

"I feel exuberant! This is great! This will -give us the perfectopportunity to show the country what kids can do. It's spectacular!Good luck to us and thank you, Gerald Camp."

Tony's reaction was typical of the excitement that flashed throughCenter School's eighth, grade in reaction to the National Writing Project ""acceptance of our proposal to write a ,monograph about the student viewof writing. Karen expressed a bit more humility. "I feel, pretty honoredabout participating in writing a book. Also since this man knows somuch about writing, and says,,he!s sure it will be' fascinating, I feel evenmore honored." 'Janet was both self-confident and critical. 1 feel veryglad that they like our idea and accepted it. But I feel bad that they don'tthink our class can write over a forty page book. That in a way makes ussound not as good as we are." Agreeing-with Janet, Craig went one morestep; to him this book reflected a mission. "My reaction to the .letter isthat people can learn to be good writers. You made us realize how goodwe- can write." Dave supported his contention about what the studentscould accomplish by first making some decisions about the National Writ-ing Pfoject letter. "I think that letter was very interesting and friendly. Iam surprised about how excited he is in us writing; book. ,Althoughtehas his doubts about us writing a forty page book, we will prove himwrong."

While students were recording such confident reactions in their day-books,* I was writing, "Elation surges through me, tinged with fear thatwe won't accomplish as much as we hope to." After all, we had beenalmost offhand in our writing of the proposal; what voice could the 117students in the five eighth grade Language Arts classes in our small NewHampshire school have? I was sharing the letter of acceptance class byclass, wondering how many students would be willing to involve them-selves in the necessary work and finding that in their unanimity theywere readier than I was.

The immediate written responses to hearing the lettir were our'beginning. As individuals each student' began to think about possible

a daily journal we use to jgt down ideas and processes

0- 4

formats, focuses., and chapter setups arfd to record the possitilities intheir daybooks. The underlying question for all of us (though:we said itvariously) was how the students felt they had grown as writers.

Set to the task of the book, students came in for our first discur-ion Noverflowing with ideas: What we discovered was tell the mor. we *.talked, the less we agreed, even by class, on an overall setup We madeonly two decisiOns that day. They first was that questions about writingshould be asked to the whole eighth grade; the second was that growthcould be shown by comparing what tifey considered to be poor themeswith good themes. We tried to brainstorm to find a title so we 'couldhave a theme to develop, but that attempt Produced, only panic. Wecouldn't even decide chow to group ourselves; by classes, by ideas, byfriendships, by process of writingwe, sitnply couldn't decide. `. 0

That indecision was handicapping our attempt to determine overallgoals and directions. As soon as We switched our apProach;the disunityfaded. My daybook entry on the second day ocour work documentedthat change: '

Yesterday we were 'hyper about this whole project, We hadbeen excited about the NWP, vceptahce of us for a mo'nograph, butwe all backed off in a sense from beginning. Title and chapterswould be necessary, but none of us had specific suggestions, so weplunged into the middle. -, Each student feels strongly about whatshould be in the book, so as individuals each is selecting an area ofwriting that has been personally meaningful or helpful."' MeanwhileI'm going bananas. Jo have this book evolve from students meansI have to,back off, to allovithem space to make decisions, to followthe process I say I believe in. It was easy to do that for themes andfor individua! writinv days because expectations and limitationssuch as time were clear to them and imposed by me. But I don'tknow how tong this willotake or what will tie together what each isdoing, and don't want to impose a scheme and jam them all intoit. Iri themes they stand as individuals; what holds us togetherthere is our involvement and concern for each other and for whatwe choose to say. I can't tell how to expand that to itold together amonograph. I trust them to do that, but I worry.

To give an added sense of outside audience yet a trusted oneto at least one class, Superintendent LaBranche came in foryesterday'., Jiscussion. He left with an echo of my "I don't know."He too likes to have gbals estatlished and work toward their accom-plishment. I again wonder if I should establish the goals for thebook; even the Accelerated class when listing goals seemed towander so widely that no unification is visible. But r believe inmaking it a book for and by the students.

Last night I had planned to come up with a schema, a backup,but then chose deliberately not to.

- 5 -

Today I feel relaxed, confident. We discussed the paths totake, the accomplishments we need to establish quickly versus what,will evolve, and we've plunged in. To write, I always tell them as Iwas told, begin to write. They took the next step; to write a bookthey have begun to write a book.

By this second day specific reactions began to startdwut. Bobby H.,uncertain as a writer, especially in the area of taking risks, said that his

,. first choice as his topic for the book was building a unity; what he hastrouble with; he took a risk. Room 1 set itself into ,groupings, workingtogether to try to see their' way better; they,, vocalized their need not tomerge their focus with other classes because they trusted each other, and

, wanted to present their view as a closely knit class undiluted by .outsid-ers. Room. 2 plunged into its usual straightforward problem-solvingapproach. Accelerated exhibited a desire to merge, a need not to standas individuals: insecurity. Lisa M. at first wrote preachily, then switchedbecause she knew she ,wouldntt respond .to that approach; she feltinsecure about writing as an she thought about how naturally andeffectively she uses "I" in her 'themes. The self-chosen illustrators inRoom 5 began visualizing even before being given the words to illustrate.Being used to seeing these students 'feel comfortable about their themewriting, I began to realize from this student insecurity what a differentkind of writingexperience we were accepting by deciding to do this book.

The third day we received a follow-up NWP letter with some sug-gested guidelines. Then students decided they needed to work togethermore so they'd help encourage the writing strengths they knew in eachother. According t" *..!), daybook,

everyone is more at ease with what we're doing. They're workingwith a will nowno more don't know what to say." Theyresponded to the NWP suggestion that papers of 'a few" studentsbe followed, laughing because they plan that all who want to will bein. Groupings are more noticeable with lots_ of interaction, askingof others, even moving around the room for quick, informal sur-veys. We have some material now to gather and will, nextWednesday, decide on how to order what we have and whether togather ,more. Decisions were the hardest part, not the writing.That's /consistent with what., bothered them about themes in thebeginning...a difference, though, is that decision evasion in thebeginning of the year was from fear, lack of confidence, no beliefthat the self could achieve; now 'it's from eagerness to succeed,uncertainty about whicrChoiCe to make, though most have a suredirection for 'focusing what is important to them.

Bobby H. was in for, recess because he couldn't decide;sequence and, building an idea are problems he believes need atten-tion, but focus and unity also attract him. We discussed definitions

126

1/4*

of each, saw ways to deal with them; then he sai(Ltie wouldn't havetime tonight...it would be hard.

So many summed 'up what they wanted to write but couldn'tget a reason for expanding. We created a mythical eighth graderwho comes in . this week, twenty themes behind, and dacided thatcatching that 'person up on what is important to .the now-involvedwriters might be a way to go.

Lisa M. now has an imagesymptoms and an illnessand istrying to find the form her idea needs. Scott H. moved away fromsome of his usual classmates to concentrate.

Day four was devoted to preparing the questionnaire and to againt' suggesting title possibilities. Watching them brainstorm to write

questions about aspects of writing that are important to them, either onesanswered or ones that still need answers, checking each other in pairs forclarity about what the questions were looking for, selecting the mostimportant questions, and then sequencing them, I recorded

sometimes A feel I'm in over my headnot that the students lackenthusiasm or involvement. Everyone is getting and staying ontask, but the sheer volume yet variation of what they're producingis overwhelming. How will we fit it together?

And yet...deep inside the juices are flowing. This is why I'min teaching. The students are tasking thmselves now. They toobegin with "It's hard..." but follow with "I wonder if willwork" or "Ifyi , will people see ?" They began withexcitement that they were actually writing a book, with almost adistraction from the evolutionary process we need. But now,they're nuzzling over the issues they've chosen in order to findanswers meaningful to them; the book right now is simply a by-product. They are learning more about writing than they could betaught ... and they all seem to love it. Every eighth grader in myfive Language Arts classes is involved. Like theme days, these pasttwo days demand no reminders to get on task, no disciplining. Andthey're sharing the work, supportive of each other. They all ownthis work and have become unified. Scott R.. said in passing,"We're all together about this," and they are. In a way if the bookdoesn't come off, it wouldn't matter. But of course to support theireffort we must make it work, and work so we can share' it with

Day five was theme day, our twenty-first Friday of orally readingand commenting on everyone's themes. The topic was "Theme Days, forexample, outstanding moments during theme class," but, as usual, nowthat they've been freed to accept or reject ruy topics, most rejected thatand followed their own directions, even though that topic was aimedtoward the book. Vinny did write about reading the first week or twoand reading the twenty-first, highlighting the difference between the first

1.3

week's "Do I have to read?" and the Can I read first?" "Go this way" thatwere repeated class after class on this theme day. Jody and several oth-ers emphasizes the togetherness of themes, and Room 2 wrote about allkinds of moments that "shine." An underlying goal of eighth grade themewriting is helping students find a voice and use it to show they havesomething important to say; they easily embodied that goal in their ownways on that day.

. As we worked through the second week on the book, we seemed tosettle into more obvious patterns. First, goals were clarified. Everyoneagreed that the book should attempt

to make people realize the importance of writing;to -show how writing can be easier and enjoyable, not a chore;to motivate people to write;to help people write better;to give ways to understand writing;to keep people interested.

Then we resolved the question about the title. My Suggestion tocall the book Seeing With The Student Eye to emphasize the need to.seekout and understand the perspec:.:ve of students about writing was voteddown. The students considered a deeper need; they want the reader tosee with his own eyes, for Eo eighth graders they value the "I" point ofview. But at the same time they want the reader to see into their innerselves through their wri'tin they feel that the impact of writing is intheir minds. After the ypte was taken, we began to work through theirtitle frame of Writing: A Window To Our Minds.

Chapters began to take shape, class by class. Though we did tryelecting two student representatives per class to act as a unifying boardand to set up one series of chapters for all students to work on, thateffort failed because of the compromises such a blend would cause. Theclasses demanded the right to maintain the identity of what each had pro-cessed already and to work in their usual way together. The queStion-naire was completed, then cut into pieces to be tallied, prompting thereaction, "Cutting to write a book!?"

Student daybook comments reflected the depths attempted. LindaL. said, "It is neat to be writing a book in eighth grade. I like it becausewe get to work with other people and use our talent writing., I realize bydoing the book I still have a lot to learn about writing." Joe4K. admitted,"I like the idea of writing a book, but I didn't know how hard it was."Nancy H. asserted, "I really love writing the book because it can let peo-ple know that we just don't take our writing like something we have todo." Sharon K. explained, "In class today Danny came up to me with thetopic that he'is doing. He asked questions concerning my way of writing.I thought and a few friends joked about Danny being a reporter because

8

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all he asked was "Why." How he is going about his topic is good becausehe asked 'everyone for different points of view. Pam Binette has askedfor writings of our earlier years which is good because the writing willshow how we pi ogress. So I think the book is starting to make a littleprogress with each person working hard and doing research on their topicinstead of taking it off their heads " Chrissy was enjoying the writingbecause "it gives us time to really work together and gather ideas andshare experiences. It gave me an idea of how hard it is to write a book."And Maurecn insisted, "It .takes a lot of determination and organizationto complete a tough task."

Not until the end of the first draft did we experience stress. again.The putting together was crucial yet again their area of trouble. Recopy-ing, reordering, emphasizing, cutting, we finally put together all thepieces we'd developed, not once but several times. Even this versionreflects simply where students were at the moment in their writing pro-ceSs; it, like them, will change.

9

1 5

Writing

Students at Center School always used to say they learned most inPhys. Ed. Under Bill Newcomb's influence they built awareness not onlyof each skill but also of their own developing mastery, which in turn fos-tered eagerneis to attempt the next skill. Physicaleducation was impor-tant to them because they could see both the processes they were learn-ing and their own progress in Those processes.

Writing became" important, to students only when they could seethat it, too, was composed of skills ,and learning thal3.they could master.They now value writing because they are aware that it gives voice tomeanings important to them, that it can be maneuvered to form varia-tions pleasing to them, and thatmost of allwriting is a sharing, anexchange, that helps each writer grow both individually and as part of thegroup he or she shares writing with. Student acceptance of learningphysical education by doing has clarified for me what once seemed aneducational paradox: only by at first floundering, then becomingimmersed in the process of writing do students change their attitudefrom one of rejection to one of total ement. Since that firstclarification about teaching writing, students have, for me, become theultimate source of decision-making and problem-solving about thedevelopment of student writers. Therefore writing is one topic we writeabout frequently.

While writing, -students, as developing experts, struggle with theirposition on now a paper is written, on problems discovered through thewriting, and on the subject written about. Writing about the subject ofwriting intensifies their understanding of what they are learning and theirawareness of both their process of writing and of themselves as studentwriters.

One of our first student papers was a tentative definition of writing;students were simply asked to complete the definition "Writing is "Their answers included

expressing what you feel on paper with words

letting your feelings flow through your. pencil

letting your mind go and then writing it down on paper

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putting your imagination on paper

a way to express feelings and communicate

taking thoughts from your mind and putting them on paperfor everyone to read or hear

a permanent way of expressing yourself

taking time and getting facts, then thinking how you canmake those facts sound goodtaking your thoughts, feelings, and '.deas on a certain subjectand putting them down on paper in an organized, patterned'form

a knack where people can create different concepts

the'basis of all intelligenceSuch student definitions reveal basic agreements among the students andinclude many of the aspects of writing usually emphasized by experts. Inaddition to views about 'content and audience, students immediately sug-gested the process involved in writing. The students first saw writing asexpressing or translating awareilesses into words, next "haring, communi-cating, telling to some other. They perceived the subtle distinctionbetween telling and showing, for they explained writing as a re-creationof their awareness. They even joked about their show-and-tell years as abasis for eighth grade writing.

Because 'they so readily accepted the need to show as well as tell,the students then invented images for writing in order to fill out theirdefinitions. They suggested that writing is Him

music. It shows feelings.

wind.(: Thoughts will come and their disappear.

a river, always moving with many different things doingdifferent ways.

an ocean wave with more than just surface area.

a tree, growing on one fact or feeling then branching out.

travelling thrdugh space. You can always go deeper andexplore.new frontiers.

a dream. You can get int. detail and be very descriptive orstep in the middle.a cloud, sometimes drifting over you and sometimes stoppingto give you a shower of thoughts or ideas.

money because it's always being passed on.

drugs because you never know what the effects will be.

a window to your mind.

Some images were subjective and worked from the self; without knowingthe term they projected expressive writing as the source of all other, writ-ing. Other images indicated concerti' with the writing process. Nonefocused on `writing as simply a product. In these images students con-sidered content based strongly on feelings, form as changing rather thanfixed, writes as choice makers whose results vary because of theirchoices, and audience as receivers with their own powers of choice.Through such considerations students indicate what are for them mean-ingful aspects of writing.

Students also made writing meaningful for themselves by control-ling and accepting responsibility for the directions their writing took.When asked, each individual willingly listed goals personally worthachieving; each class worked together to clarify, select, eliminate, andorganize so that individual goals could be translated into boundaries,andstandards of value to the class as a group. In fact through their give andtake they seemed to have less trouble differenti.ting between individualrights and group responsibilities than I did. Eventually, through con-sensus, the following guidelines for the grade emerged:

Every student has the ability to write in his/her own way.

Students should listen, to others but develop their own stylesfrom what others say.Students should read to others so they see writing as a way tocommunicate something.Students recognize feelings are important and even if they tareunderneath they should be brought out.Students should apply what they learn to each new paper.

Students should have time to write.

Students should be able to write about whatever they feel (heurge or need to.Students should learn to expand their, viewpoints.

Students should be encouraged to have many ways to developideas and not be assigned one way.

Teachers shouldn't preach; they should sit down and try to.understand what a student wants to write.

Teachers shouldn't put down students for ideas, methods, etc.

ju because a teacher doesn't like it.

Teachers should work at developing confidence in writing.

Teachers should expect students to apply skills to some formof writing and not to a worksheet.

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Students should be graded' on grammar and punctuation onlywhen they have had practice with developing content, so allparts will come together easier.Constructive criticism should be given and taken with no hardfeelings. ,

Developed by students actively looking for insights into what made someof their writing work and some fall flat, these statements reflect the peg;ceptions of involved writers. The statements, like comments by experts,would be ineffective if dumped on the next class, but when they evolvefrom a class in whatever ways it sees and shapes understandings, suchstatements about writing have strong impact on the directions taken bytheir writing.

Even student evaluation of the quality of their own writing canevolve from standards of their own making. Having learned holistic

%, scoring, Center School eighth graders develop descriptors according towhat is important for the quarter they are in.* Their expectations, quarterby quarter, turn out io be stringent, as shown by this listing from thequarter we worked on form.

Group I

Group

DESCRIPTORS FOR A 4 THEME

- strong and meaningful beginnings and endings

- lot of details in order

- stays on the subject

- creative

- thoughtful

- catches and holds your interest

- should build up to strong ending

- correct. grammar

- not having distractions that interrupt the flow of the paper

- strong writing itself

- deep details

- descriptive details

- orderly sequence

- creative

Again using the process of recording individual priorities in daybooks, clarifying, select-ing, and eliminating in small groups and then as classes, they discovered their commonpriorities.

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w.

Group 2

Group 3

Group 5

- holds reader's interest

- makes the reader understand the meaning

- correct grainmar

- strong beginning and the rest follows it

- keeps the details.organized, in order'

- a topic that catches the interest of the audience and writer

- makes the writing so the reader can see and understandwhat is happening

- a sentence that ties the whole writing together at the end

- correct usage of words

- no mechanical errors

- readable

- beginnings catch the reader's attention, make them want toread more

- ending tie together, sum up

- have a lot of thought put in

- descriptive details

- has well-planned steps, sequence

- expresses the idea fully and completely

- refined idea

- no mistakes

Accelerated - original

- a distinct, flowing pattern

- strong beginning, strong ending

- properly used grammar and mechanics

- sequenced properly

- should be readable, no crossing out

- minimal spelling errors

- strong in its idea

- make people interested, hold reader's attention

- bring out ideas and thoughts

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Test and measurement experts might quibble about how measur-able or objective some student descriptors are. However, students agreedthat these descriptors state what they value in writing; students are wil-ling and eager to be evaluated on their attempts to work in .o their paperswhat the descriptors hold them accountable for. As writers, the studentslearn to care about developing their own standards and changing them astheir awarenesses about writing expand.

Those expanding awarenesses across the grade are best illustratedby the student-selected questions and answers about writing on the fol-lowing questionnaire prepared especially for this book.

From the first day we. began working on this book we agreed thatthe students would decide on questions they have answered or need toanswer in order to grow as writers and that the questions should beanswered by each member of the eighth grade; that way they could dis-cover if there were trends in their views about writing. Individually, assmall groups, and then as classes they worked to prepare, refine, andsequence questions about writing that they felt would be worth answer-ing. The questions most widely accepted and most frequently asked wereplaced on the questionnaire and answered by the eighth graders as indivi-duals. The results of the questionnaire follow.

I. List five words that best describe what writing is to you.

The word fun was the most frequently selected word; nearly half ofthe student respondents included that word. Fun was followed closelyand often on the same lists by the words hard and difficult, suggestingthat students did not select fun as merely an easy choice.

Several words appeared on approximately twenty-five per cent ofthe questionnaires; these words were exciting, feelings, expressing, andinteresting. Words appearing in significant numbers were boring, good,funny, meaningful, thinking, emotional, creative, and imaginative. A few stu-dents selected the following words: easy, creative, bad, important, imagina-tive, helpful, descriptive, experience, important, life, complicated, me, produc-tive, and time-taking.

The five words on the questionnaires produced no overall trendsbut did suggest trends of individual students.

2. What problems are you having as a writer?

A majority of the students describe their problems as "getting thesequence right," "tying my theme together," "trying to develop my topicin steps," "to have everything follow through," "fitting the ideas togetherand getting a clear sequence," or "to put everything in order and tie allthe thoughts together that belong together."

A significant number cited thinking of or coming up with topics or

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21

ideas to write about as a serious problem.

Several students find their troubles in punctuation, spelling, and hemechanics of grammar.

Several other students were concerned with audience, with answersto "making people understand," "describing my topics well enough tomake people feel they are there," "expressing my feelings in a way foreveryone to understand," or "writing something that will please myselfand you."

"Expressing feelings," "explaining feelings," and. "putting ideas intowords" were also significant problems for several students.

Individual responses included a range from overall writing problemslabeled as "writing themes" and "putting things down on paper" to peopleproblems such as "nothing really except laziness" and "I sometimes havetrouble thinking."

Two fortunate students said they have no problems with writing.

3. What solution/ have 'vorked to solve some of your writing problems?

On this !question enswers were quite consistent. In a word themajority suggested the best solution to writing problems is "practice." 1.

0

A significant number of students found their problems easing whenthey selected topics differently, when they used such approaches as:"expressing my feelings," "writing ideas down as they come into myhead," "to think of something that has happened or that I know good,""writing to match my moods," "think of experiences I had," then buildfrom that," and "putting my-feelings-into-writing."_ _

Several students found that simply spending more time on theirwriting eased their problems. Several others "talk to other people andthe teacher" to expand ideas and to see if they are saying what theymean. In addition "listening to other people's themes and reading com-ments" has giiien students openings toward solving problems;

A few students found the specific techniques of brainstorming and"tear and build"* to be effective for them.

Individual solutions ranged from "try and stop Making the samemistakes that I started with" to "take long walks."

4. What were your biggest fears about writing? What are your biggest fearsnow?

* A description of the "tear and build" process will be found on pp. 27-28.

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220 _-

Most students stated "reading in front of the class" as the biggestfear they had.

Present fears fall into several categories: "not getting the moaningacross," "grades," "not being able to think of a topic," "having peoplethink my writing is boring or stupid," and "worrying about people not lik-ing my themes." "Reading in front of the class" still ranks as a fear forafew students, though several also said they'd fear "not being able to sfiarethemes any more."

Many students insist they don't have any fears now.

5. What patterns do you recognize in your own process of writing?

No majority answer appeared, though a significant number focusedon their approach to structuring ideas, specifically on ability to buildthemes better, to connect and to unify or even to recognize when theyare not connecting and unifying.

Many focused on patterns reflecting improvement in their writingor the opposite, getting worse or getting into'a "Tip. Many see patternsin what they write about: feelings, emotions, people, death and sadstories, violence, problems, funny happenings, and science fiction con-tinuations.

Individual answers include: "tend to put twobeginnings," "leave outtoo many details," "seem to drag on," "every other week I'm in the moodfor themes," and "my story or theme starts off the same wayI was walk-ing down the street."

Only a few students responded that they didn't know their patterns.

6. What freedom is necessary; for you as student writer?

All of the students answered that they like the freedom to write onwhatever they want to write on. Some qualified their answers by sayingthey like optional assignments in case they get stuck. Others added thatthey like freedom to write when they choose to or that they like freedomto decline to read orally now if they feel the need not to share a theme.

7. What restrictions do you feel should be placed on student writing?

An overwhelming majority of students answered "none," withexplanations like, "I think we should have the privilege of writing theway we feel."

Of those who believe in restrictions, the majority said that profanityshould be considered; several sought total restriction, but most felt res-triction should be placed on "profanitylhat doesn't fit."

A few students felt writing should be restricted to correct grammar

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23

C,

and punctuation.

Individuals suggested writing "should keep the reader's attention,". must have "an interesting subject," writers should "be given a set date

when writing is due," and "no Kalubians" (see p. 45).

8. Should you be given a topic to write about? Why or why not?

All but ten students said no. The ten who said yes said that thetopic should be offered but as a choice, not as a demand.

9. How does sharingtherizes orally affect you? How does sharing affect yourwriting?

4-

Most of the comments were positive. The positive e 's on thewriters included "makes me trust more people in my class," "I like thestudents to know how feel and howl write," "gives n differerit ideasand. similarities'," "makes me look forward to class on Friday," "showshow other people write," "enjoy hearing how others feel about differenttopics," "I can, see a good theme against a bad one," "fun," "helps me tobe confident," "enables me to spread my imagination," "gives a good feel-ing," "I know I'm not alone," "helps me- to figure out my problems," and"makes me enjoy Fridays and gives me something to look forward to."

Positive effects on the writing included "you know you have to dogood because people will be listening," "if I make mistakes, I can correctand fix the next theme better," "makes it easier to write," "get ideas,""lets me realize different types of writing," "gives me confidence in what Iwrite," "classmates tell me what needs to be strengthened," "gives meideas on what to do for Friday," "tells me what others like to hear about,""makes me write better because I would be ashamed to share a poortheme," "an effective way of finding what I need lo work on," "lets meopen up and kids like one now for nwhat's inside not just out," 'limitswhat I am willing to write," and "I can get other people's feeling on mywriting."

A few felt sharing themes was not helpful to them because theybecame nervous when reading out loud. Some did not feel their writingwas affected positively but gave no explanation.-

10. What should be kept the same about theme days? What should beimproved?

Agreement was overwhelming that ingredients to be kept the sameare "everything," "the whole 'event' should be kept the same," "grades,""the circle," "the attitude," "atmosphere because laughing helps to easetension," "the same sharing and commenting, and the comments," and"creativity."

2418

Suggestions for improvement varied. A significant number agreedthat the following should be improved: "nothing," "more time," "ontheme days Language class should be made longer," "more theme dayS,""do themes on Thursday and Friday," and "more time spent on com-,,merits." Time obviously is a key issue for theme days in the minds of theparticipants. Themes themselves should

thatimproved according to a

significant number, even to the point thai "everybody should have a 4tlieme." Commenting should be improved; "more people should respondto each theme," more "constructive criticism" was, seen as necessary, antimany agreed with the teacher proposal that we ban, "that's good" and "Ilike it a lot."

SOme suggested that grammar must be improved. Others felt thatwe shouldn't "make people read if they don't want to."

One individual, suggested that .o improve theme days "we shouldsing all the themes,",and, this individual has acted on his own suggestionat times.

11. Do grades influence your writing? W ky or why not?

The majority said yes for reaso. such as "it helps your writingimprovement," "they give me more a goal; a better grade usually,means a betterpiece of writing," "it encourages me to write good," "I like

mto know what/the teacher thinks, about my writing," "they make me tryharder," "trying to get a good grade is a challenge," and "they give meconfidente." One individual 3a:d the influence was from "commentsmostly."

About twenty per cent said no, that "it has nothing to do with it,""grades do not explain the Writing," "I like the way I write no matter whatthe grade," "I improve my writing on my own," "I influence my writing,""I write for myself'," and ,"grades shouldn't influence your writing; justbecause you are stupid doesn't mean you can't. write." .

12,- How do you expect your teacher to help you grow as a writer?

The majority expect the teacher "to make comments orally and onthe paper, where my weaknesses and strengths are," to "discuss themeswith the class," to "help me, know how to find my own mistakes," and to"give her true comments."

A significant number say the teacher should help "by telling us how

to improve."A few seek suggestions about ways to write: "give as -Many ideas as

possible," "help me write in better form and let me write how I feel,""teach how to put right words in right place, leads(endings, more tech-niques," "advise you." A few others focus on practice by saying the

°teacher should "not tell me anything except practice, practice," and "haveus write as usual." Some focus on the individual help a teacher shouldgive: "help me when I have a good idea and tell how to develop it furtherand better," "ask me questions, why I used this and that," "help when I/start slipping," "understand what my writing is about," _list to listen;","influence,me," "help me understand other writings better," and show a"positive outlook on each individual writer." As a person ,the studentsexpect the teacher to "read her themes" and show "patience.",

Three people did not expect help. One said, "I don't, but if shedoes I don't mind." Another has "no idea," and one says the hest helti isto "leave me alone."

13. What contributes to your ,writing,growth? What prevents your writinggrowth?

Both contributions and preventions seem to fall in three overallcategories: what happens personally, t As, others 'act, and the writing' pro-cess itself.

What happens personally to contribute to writing growth, includes"trying to ,make every theme better than the last," "I realize inside whatto ao," "hearing themes," "the more my mind opens to other things, theeasier writing is," "experience," "emotions," "doing it," "mood," and "selfrecognition." Others contribute by "suggestions to write better," "theircomments" "correcting writing," "talking about it," "admiring," and "shar-ing." Eler .its of the'writing process that contribute are "ideas," "getting /a good grade," "writing every week," "writing intensely," "learning new /and different skills," and a few even said learning parts of speech." /,

What happens personally to prevent writing growth includes "prob- .,/ferns that stand in my way," "laziness,". "not trying," "feelings aboutschool," and "when it feels like an assignment." Others prevent growth by '"rejections," "deadlines," "events at home," and "surroundings." The onlyelement of the writing process mantioned as a prevention, and men- ittioned frequently, was spelling. One individual said, "I've not found any-:thing that prevents."

14. What is improving in your writing? What is not improving?

Listed by a significant number were elements of the following:details, creativity, ideas, form, excitement, my imagination, topicdevelopment, idea patterns, ways I describe feelings, and writing of awhole. A few mentioned meaning, ability to.. pick topics] and puttingideas together.

What was not improving ir'cluded spelling; ways of putting down,thoughts, punctuation, grammar, repetition of words, word choice, and

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I ,.

Ir

security about writing. Ideas and form also appeared as negatives,though they were positives for others.

15. lily what do you Judge writing? As you write more, do your standards forjudging _change? Explairk

For the first time several students left a blank, not answering thequestions.

The majority judge writing by how the writeii "follows an ideahrough.",

Several judge "by the person and his or her writing potential," by"how interesting",Ithe paper is, and by how it "compares to others." "Flow"was also a frequent answer.

A few suggest ways to judge include: "personal standards," "involve-thent of the writer, even if I don't like it," "feeling," "detail," "contentand how well it's expressed," "how deep," "if I can really understand whatthe people are writing about," and "if they are boring or not."

The few who said no, their standards have not changed, judge bywhat they like, and they say that doesn't change.

The majority said their standards have changed for reasons such as"I learn what more to look for," "practice," "as I grow," "I expect more ofmyself and others," "my understanding of connections is better," "I seethe problems betty," "we know what a 4 is now," the more you write,the' harder the grading should be," "now I see form too," and "I find morethings that are important in writing that I didn't realize before."

16. What do you feel is the most important lesson you learned in writing?How did you learn it?

Again, this question was not answered by all students.

Two ideas were dealt with by a 'significant number. One wasexpressed as "staying with the topic through the story" or "it has to tie in"or "themes follow through." Many learned to unify their themes throughthe "tear and btilld" process. The other was to, write with feeling.

- Several focused on their most important lesson as "how to putdown my ideas" which was learned by "listening to others" and "goodform" which was learned from the teacher.

Individual answers to this question varied. Examples and reasonsare

That I write for me alone.Writing itself is the most important lesson, and I learned it by writ-ing more.

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It takes practice to learn how to be a good writer. The more youwrite the better you are.

Sequence through practice.

Writing creatively.

How to express myself, by listening to other themes and talkingabout them.

Putting time into writing.

To stay on one tonic instead of dribbling on, by theme corrections.

Being proud, by m. ,lf.

That I will use writing when I ggow up, by the work I do.

Thinking, by wandering in.my mind.

My mood depends on my,writing.

That writing is easy, by writing a lot.

How to get ideas and facts together, by the teacher and other stun,dents.

Writing can be fun, by hearing themes.

Take'criticism and grow from it, by,experience.

You can't always have a good theme, by having some bad ones.

Show not tell.

To be independent.Need to put time and effort into writing, by bad grades.Not to put down my themes and let the reader be the judge, bycomments in class.

Writing a good way, to express myself, by writing what I reallyfeel.

17. Share what you 'eel is the most important advice you could give aboutwriting. ---.

Five ideas were hared by a significant number of students. Theyare "Think before you write," "Write what you 'want to write about, notwhat someone else feels you should write," "Write what you feel,""Always check over your paper," and "Practice."

Several students said either "Don't hold back," or "Keep on writ-ing." Individuals shared a wide range of advice, as their comments reveal:

Write something you feel is good, and most likely other people willthink it is good.

28 - 22 -

0

To improve writing you have to practice, get comments, and askquestions.

Write for other people.

You can't understand writing until you do it.

Write what is natural; write how you feel.

Keep trying; don't give up..

Follow and put ideas down that fit to an understanding.

The harder you work at it, the more you will enjoy.Watch for spelling errors.

When writing a theme, read it over to make sure you understand it(so o..ters will.)

Write about what yoy know about.

Keep going into subjects deeper than before.

Check punctuation, form, and interest.

Pick a good topic.

Keep improving.

Follow your ideas through the hilt; add details, but don't crowd.

Try, think, and write!

Write a lot.

Be proud and like what yo' write.

Try and learn from your mistakes.

Writing can be boring.

Have a good idea and write all you know about that topic, even if ittakes weeks. .

Write according to your moods.

Write what you feel, and don't hold back.

Keep an orderly sequence.

Put time and effort into your writing.

Ask questions.

Have Mrs. M. as a Language Arts teacher.

Sharing should be stressed.

Conclusions about the questionnaire responses could be endless butwould be misleading. Different students would prepare different ques-tions with their own variations of answers. What is significant is the pro-cess. Students learn to write in part by communicating about writing.

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4'

They are willing to share the inside story about the writing process asthey see it. Defining, questioning, probing, they involve themselves inthe writing process. Because they learn to care about writing, they acceptresponsibility for getting the best from both themselves and their writing.Their commitment to their work strengthens what they write; what theywrite strengthens their commitment. Arid s$ it goes. They become wil-ling to share the inside story about the writing process as they see it.

This monograph is one of their sharings and faced them withanother real reason for commitment as writers, another step in theirunderstanding of writing. The monograph is also our best proof so farthat students provide a unique angle of vision about students writing.

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PART TWO:

31.

4

Al WINDOW TO OUR MINDS

Themes are the center of eighth grade writing. The superintendentof schools, the nurse, students froth other classes, the principalanyperson who chooses to enter Room 1 on theme days" has a theme; fortheme days create a circle of sharing. The first day of school eighthgraders are firmly told that each Friday a theme will be due and will beread aloud to the class. For Theme #1 students enter fearfully. Giventhe choice to read their own themes or to exchange and read another's'theme, most students exchange. From the beginning non-writing is not

choice open to students. The end of the previous year was always so,,Jod that such new beginnings are a shock even for me; fiorneis, notfun, must set the tone. The theme process during the first few weeksremains forced, and 1 am heartily disliked, described as witch and worse.Breakthroughs come, though,' since themes are now part of the lore ofCenter School. One after another the students.find the attention givenand received during the theme readings expects, even demands, that theywrite: well. As writing improves, confidence builds; the theme circletakes root.

Student writing in all its variations serves as text; i- sues, questions,problems are handled as they are revealed in, the writing. Since theseeighth graders are just finding their voices, gimmicks are few. They likeactivities such as "tear and build", adapted from Bill Cook of Dartmouth.First they are given a paper covered with a scattering of thirty-five words;they tear the paper into its individual words and then play, puzzling the

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5

words into individually different but meaningful shapes in an exercisemuch like loosening up for phys. ed. Later they provide the words.Later still they puzzle sentences into more effective themes through thesame tear and build process.

Students also react strongly to the childhood keepsake process fromChris Robinson of the Exeter Writing Project. Through selecting, bring-ing in for show and tell, and finally writing about a chosen childhoodkeepsake, the students learn early in.the year to probe for depth, to knowfrom the inside that meaning is more than what others see in a bedrag-gled Snoopy or a fading baby quilt. But usually we simply learn fromeach other.'s papers, with respect for both writer and what is written theonly inflexible rule imposed by me.

Our overall process is fairly consistent. First quarter we work withcontent, using only what students say as the focus of our discussionsabout the themes we share. Second quarter We add form, merging dis-cussion of, what is said with how to say it most effectively. Third quartercome the skill charts adapted from NCTE modelo; errors are coded andrecorded each week to show students first what thir errors are and thenwhether or not they are correcting effectively.. Fourth quarter we abstractsome, discussing and at times achieving the synthesis that directs writingtoward art.

Throughout this proCess we discuss the inside story about what stu-dents see themselvei going through as student writers; we talk abouttheir viewpoints, and each student gleans what will be helpful at themoment. Our sharing process evolves as questions or needs or crisesarise in the classroom.

Stillinrihat process, formalizing it into unchanging words, hasturned out to be much more difficult than we expected. We had no trou-ble accumulating writing about writing. Students were clear about whathas been important in their own changing views. They even movedeasily within their own classes into groupings of common direction. Butstructuring the window to their minds presented a disheartening barrier.We decided to reflect the theme process they are growing through.Included in this section are individual explanations, group expressions,and dialogues by whole classes through which writing is viewed as a win-dow to student minds.

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Look inside, and you might seeWito we are and what we'll be.Look inside, deeper this time;See the things held in our minds.Look inside, look way in farAt who we were and what we are.Look inside, and you might findA golden window to our minds.

Maureen Moynihan

34

4.`

Theme #1 Panic

Though they laugh about it now, students know from experiencehow beginning writers feel. The panic about Theme #1 remains vivid inthe minds of the Accelerated class. In order to recreate that feeling forteachers and for students Who need to see that in their first panic thy:),are not alone, the class decided to tape their remembrance of how theyfelt thew first Friday they moved into the theme circle. The taping, theirfirst, did not come out as the intended conversation; instead the classresponded in turn to the question "How did you feel about having toshare your first theme?"

Blink - I thought it was awful. When I came in, didn't want toread. I switched papers.

Scott J. - I was nervous, and I was excited. I didn't want to read it.I was scared, and afterwards I was relieved.

Jay - Good Job, Scott.Bobby - First I didn't know what's a theme? Why didn't you tell us

what to write? And what's a pattern? And this is dumb.And what are we supposed to doa poem, 'prose, or what?

Pam B. - What are other people in the class Bonn, think about mytheme? Is mine going to compare with them, or is minegoing to be completely ridiculous? And how embarrassed Iwould be doing this.

Dan - When we came in, I was sitting next to Tony, and he wentfirst, and he picked the other way so I felt really relieved.

Nancy - When I first came in, I didn't really understand so Iswitched papers with Janet. .

Pam W. - First of ali I didn't know what a theme was. I never heardthe word before in my life, and so I didn't know what I waswriting. Plus I just got here, and I didn't know anybody,and so I switched my theme with Lana.

Craig - I remember that.Pam W. - Her theme was good, and everybody said, "Tint was good..."

And then when everybody switched around I guess Sherri

31 -

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Cade read mine, and then after she read it everybody said,"That was dumb." I was laughing because everybody thoughtit was hers! Apd everybody thought that the one I read wasreally good. Then I figured out what a theme was.

Cheryl - I was embarrassed und afraid of what people might, sayabout my theme. I was worried that it wasn't adequate.

Joe - I was worried. I just thought my theme stunk, and I didn'twant to read it.

Patty I was scared and nervous and worried too. I hatedLanguage after that.

(General laughter)Craig - So didn't everybody else.

Megan I thought my theme was so stupid. I had someone else readit because I would have been too embarrassed to read it.

Karen - I was scared when I...didn't know; even reading my own Iwas nervous.

Amy Me too because when I was reading I thought I w' 4 getstuck on words., I thought my theme was okay for the firsttheme. I had a real bad one to read though. I was worriedabout reading someone else's theme, but I couldn't say no.

Laura - First of all I didn't know what a theme was. Then I gotsome help from the kids in high school now. Then when Iwas reading it, I thought mine stunk compared to everyoneelse. When l was reading it, I was nervous and shaky.

Bobby - I was near Tony. I was like the third person down. Then Iheard you hid to tie it together. I had done that, and mostpeople didn't so I felt okay about that.

David - You just think that yu;:r theme is real dumb and every-thing. You wait, and Hie circle...comIng around towardyou, and you JuLt...nervPus breakdown...I don't know.

Jay - I just felt nervous. And you, that week you just said, "Ohyeah, you have a theme due," and I didn't know what to do.Just wrote something. It was so stupid. I felt the way I donow recording this. I stutter and everythingt and that'swhat I did.

Pam W. - Too much 'inflow grass!*

Craig - First when I reed my ...before even I read my theme, I wasreally excited about reading it. But then when the line

Pam is referring to an earlier theme by Jay about attempting to smoke hollow grass as achild.

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36

Ken -the person before me'.

Patrick - I was so nervous I couldn't even read the paper. I made itall up as I went along.

Tony - At first I was all excited, and I thought my theme waspretty good, but then after I listened for awhile I got morenervous as the line went around. I started truly listening to

Ntlie themes, and I got real scared that everybody's was betteran mine. I ,felt mine was...I felt mine was stupid.

Linda - I was worried about what to write and how to w. ite it. I gotin class, and I was afraid to read because I thought everyonewould say, "That's dumb." And then when we had to saycomments, I just said what everybody else said, "That'sgood. I liked it a lot." I was just worried and everything.

. Sharon - I, was scared.. I thought everyone else's was better. I didn'tknow how to write or say, anything.

Cheryl - ' In the beginning I tried, but I moved back in my chair so noone would see me because I didn't know if I had written atheme or what. I didn't know how to write so I was worriedabout what everyone would say about what I had written.

Mrs. M. Anybody" want to add, now that each of you has made acomment?

Janet - I didn't understand what the meaning, the purpose of thetheme was for...

Keith - Make up a pattern.

Janet - What we were supposed to do with it.Mrs. M. - You weren't given too many instructions!

(Laughter)Linda - (to Mrs. M.) Did you ever feel scared when you'd read in

front of a new eighth grade class?

Mrs. M. - Yes.Linda - Even though we'd all write worse than you?

(Laughter)

"4?

started coming around, I was real scared. When it got tome, I read, and it was real stinky. But I wanted to learnhow to write better so I wouldn't read any rotten themes.Other kids didn't want to read theirs, so I read theirs forthem.I was just hopeful it wouldn't get to me, that it would stop,

I

.0"

Mrs. 44. I've taken a lot of writing classes in which I'm not the topat all because I'm not a terribly...I'm much better at read-

, ing other people's writing and 'helping them do better than Iam at writing my own, so I never feel very competent aboutmy own writing.

Pam W. - Well when you first said "Writea theme" and I said "Whatthe heck's a theme?" everyone was telling me Just write astory. Then you said "Pattern" and I didn't know what towrite, so everybody Just said "Write what you do," you knowTaint yOu do in your day. So I wrote A time schedule, andexact minutes, and everything. It couldn't have been truebecause I didn't leave time to go to the bathroom!

(Laughter)Dan - I didn't do it the night before so I ended up writing it in

other classes, and it really. stunk. So I Just did it on some-thing general. Nobody got too excited about it, so I got areal letdown.'

Mrs. M. - As you look back on it now, should you have been givenmore instruction before you wrote the first one?

Everyone at once - yeses/noesMrs. M. - Whoa, let's get the yeses and the noes, first the yeses.

Why?Scott J. - I think a; little because it gives us little things to go by.David - Yeah, you gO "Don't forget your theme Friday."

.Theme!!!???Craig -. You said, "Just write a pattern." We were just fresh right

out of the seventh grade and thought, what the' heck is apattern? I 'didn't know what it was!

(Laughter)Bobby - I think we knew what a pattern was, but we couldn't recog-

nize how to write it.

Pam W. - You should have maybe written your theme before and readit to us so we'd have n idea of what a theme was. Youshould have giVen us examples.

Mrs. M. - Do you remember that I aid steer you to the library and saythere were collections of themes published by the studentsfrom previous eighth grade classes? Any more yes?... Allright, how about the noes?

Jay - No, because you told us. You explained to us that we'dwrite our first themes. Then you'd tell us what we'd do

38

34 -

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J

v.

wrong. Then vo wouldn't do it again. We'd want to tlx it.Pam B. - I think it's better that we thought of our own ideas. It we

started depending on you to help us out all the time...thereare so many patterns if we couldn't' think of one when wewere writing... .

Megan - If you had said I certain kind of pattern for an example,everyone would_have done that, and everyone's would be thesame.

Craig - This way we had to go cold turkey.

Ken - They're saying you should have told them how to write atheme, but themes have no liMitation. You can write sistory, a poem, a letter a diary formanything.. They'resaying tell 'em! We had to try it!

Scott J. - Look at this! (holding up Ken's current very rough draft)(Supportive laughter. Everyone talks at once.)

Students looking back at their first theme day agree about theunderlying fear and uncertainty but disagree about its causes. I especiallyvalue two aspect§'of their taped conversation: 1) the students are nowusing their deeper knowledge of writing to explain what was missing thatfirst day, and 2) they recognize that it was necessary to overcome thefear and uncertainty before more positive feelings could emerge.

Room 1 was equally convinced that the feelings of beginning writ-ers should be emphasized to readers of this monographs Jon Degaincludes a theme about the first theme day: ,

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Again an emphasis is placed on the bond established among- the 'studentsthrough fear and uncertainty. Jon also shows how after he had readaloud that bond changed to one of involvement 'with his fellow class-mates.

Ken Simone and .Sean Hanlon use both the remembrances of theirclassmates and their own summary to. show how that involvement hasgrown: ',

We had heard about themes since sixth grade, and we weie allterrified about the time when we would be 'writing them. Over thesummer of seventh grade we forgot all about them. Then we went backto school, and we relived that fear we had experienced in the lowergrides. Then came the first Friday after school 'started. This was aday most of us feared. We would read our first theme. Most of libhated reading QUIr themes.

Looking back it seems funny how scared we were. Most. of ushave changed and look forward to themes day. As a class, we have,grown a lot through themes. We have grown closir; now we don't getscared if we have a bad theme because we knOw people are criticizingthe theme to help us write better. And we know that nobody willlaugh unless it's supposed to be funny. Most of us now feel securewhen we read our themes.

40- 36 -

'4-7 BEST CFI =ME.

When I write my theme, I some-times catch glimpses of ideas in my. mind.I go back to the window, but the idea isusually gone. If I think what I saw was agood:idea, I. stay at that ab,itract window.I wait pollen* for the Idea to reappear.If It doesn't come eack to the window, Igo on.

ivy the idea decides to show itself, Istudy it. I concentrate on it. pookfirall its dfflerent concepts. My Yiew of itexpands. I try to expand It.

When the idea flashes off I comeback out of my mind. As I remembermore, the theme builds. I go back to thewindow and wait for the idea. When itreappears, 1 write more. Final& the paperhas developed as much as I want,,so Istop.

As I become more patient, I staylonger at the w low. I learn more aboutthe idea I'm 'bout. At times whenI'm really b. r ;gig mood, I haveexcellent concentration; the idea comes tothe window. My themes are better atthese times, but ,t doesn't always happen.

I am still waiting for the time whenthe window will open and the idea willcome out. Maybe this won't ever happen,but if' it does I'll have my best theme.

Bobby Hamblet

41.

Develops, Ideas

/4-\Finding and developing ideas, working with content, is a major

difficulty for student writers. Alone, a writer faces an empty piece ofpaper. Lisa Musemeci explains what happens next:

That empty piece of paper just stares at you. Your hand is readyto write, but your mind isn't. A topic hasn't arisen ye, and neitherhave the ideas that follow it. Sound familiar? Woad what donext?

As I sit here wondering what to suggest to you, many problemskeep coming up. But let's see how my procedure follows.

In my opinion writer's block is a simple sickness with a simplecure. Let's look at the symptoms. At first you may find yourselfthinking too hard. Time's passing by, and you're getting disgusted.You `try to rush through your story and notice it isn't as good as you'dlike it to be. You try writing something else, but by this time you'retotally disgusted and you've got a splitting headache.

Cure? My first problem is sorting out all my ideas, making whatI'm trying to say clear to myself as well as to the reader. First of all,sort out your ideas in order so they will have sequence to them. It maybe difficult to do, but it is vital if you want your reader to be interested.

At .this point you have a bunch of sentences put together thatmay make sense to you but probably to no one else. You might 'wantto read your story out loud to yourself and see if it really does soundright. If it doesn't make sense or the sentences don't link, make yourfixes.

Another thing you may want to ask yourself is if you've got a,strong beginning to grasp the attention of the reader. This will cer-tainly make a large difference in a bad or good story. And of coursethe ending gives the reader his/her final impression of your hard workso you've got to make it strong yet effective.

Finishing up, ask these questions to yourself. Does your storyhave a strong yet effective beginning and ending to give both first andfinal impressions? Will the story as g whole grasp the attention of areader? Does one idea lead sensibly to another? Hopefully, all thequestions can be positively answered.

- 39 -

42

Often such questions can't be answered positively. Scott McGee,facing his second week of inability to get started, chose this process toselect ideas: /

Whe)/1 had the topiglink" to write about, I could not think ofanything to write about. The previous week I had spent a long timetrying to think of something to write about, and I knew if I did thesame thing this week; I would not get my work done. I thought andthought and finally thought of a way to get ideas. First I would thinkif there was anything that has happened-to me that I would like towrite about, anything I would like people to know, and anything 1enjoy. Then I'd write down ideas that came to my head. Then I'dpick out the idea that I'd want to write about. Before I wrote mytheme, I did this, and it helped me to get a good idea, and it was some-thing I liked.

The idea Scott liked was based on the past. Chris Pas uses bothpast and present as idea sources:

I get ideas by looking around me and seeing :what things areinteresting, like things in nature, a fire, and trees. r sometimes writeabout things that have happened to me, like about some people I'vemet, places I've been, and some things that I've done. Once in awhile, not often, I write about other people's experiences.

I usually try to jazz up the ideas I get to cptch the reader's, eye,then to keep the reader interested.

Usually my ideas are very good, when put into the right style, inthe right words, and when I put my feelings into them.

To round off use of time Cheryl Yennaco reflects on the° preSenttime in the following theme:

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Ideas develop also from ,differing uses of the 'same topic by morethan one writer. Chrissy Anderson, Nancy Costa, and Linda Lemanskiselectedtthree themes which explain that development:

People have different ideas, even though they are given the sametopic to write about. Below are three themes written by three differentindividualsz the topic was "Decisions."

# I) SMOKING

At one time in a person's life s/he'll be tempted to smoke. This ismy'story of my decision.

In the summer of '79 I was helping out with the recreation groupfor kids. Towards the end everyone else started to smoke, and out of.curiosity I tried it and I liked it. After a month I sat down and reallythought of all the good points and bad points of smoking. The badpoints won. I stopped just like that. I don't really know why I startedin the first place. It could have been that I wanted to be part of thegroup or just because I was scared of being called a chicken. Nowrealize I was wrong, and I don't care what other people call me. It ismy decision, that I will never touch another cigarette for as long as Ilive.

# 2 DIVORCE

A decision is a choice you have to make. It may not be what youwant but what you think is best for you.

Mary had thought .;he had everything, until the last couple weeks.Her mother and father fought every day. Mary knew something wasgoing to happen, something she wouldn't like. On Monday it finallyhappened. Mary could not believe it when she heard it; her mother andfather were getting a divorce. Mary's parents said they already talkedto the lawyer, and he said that she would have to decide on which oneof her parents she would like to stay will She didn't know which oneto choose because she loved them both. Mary remembered how happythe three of them were when they were together and how happy herparents used to he. After Mary decides,. it will never be the same.

This is the biggest decision Mary will ever have to make in herlife,

#3 LOVE AND WANT

This year I was approached by a large decision. neighbor gota new thirteen hands high gelding. The daughter couldn't handle it orcontrol it. I had Misty at this time and was outgrowing her. I liked the

- 43 - 46

gelding a lot because I was the only one paying attotion to him. Iasked my father if we could consider trading ponies because the neigh-

bors were selling it anyway. My father said to think I realty wanted

to trade Misty. I thought about, it and I knew I could take care of thegelding, ride him, and do the best for him. I told my dad, and he said Ifthat was what I really wanted. My father went over to our neighbor's'house and asked, but they wanted to sell Jr i money and didn't want tosell or trade for another pony. I was kinda glad because I didn't thinkabout how much I really loved Misty, so I didn't want to choosebetween something I loved and something I wanted.

Comments:

Theme #1 - SMOKINGThis theme shows what may come up in a person's life. It

explains what may happen and how other people can solve these prob-lems. The person who wrote this theme arrived at her decision bythinking of a decision almost every other kid would have to make; itwould have to be a decision that she went through like smoking. Atthe time she was in a sharing mood, to share her experience and feel-ings with other people.

Theme #2 - DIVORCEThis theme on divorce shows how hard it is to choose between the

two people you love, withdut hurting the other person. She got heridea from a book she was reading while the topic "Decisions" came up.In her mood she wanted to leave people wondering what they'd do inthat situation.

Theme #3 - LOVE ANDThis theme shows how hard it is to choose between something

you like and something you want. She got her idea by thinking of anexperience she went through; she did this so she could relate it betterthan a made up story. She was hi a serious Mood when she wrote thetheme.

As you read this section, you can realize how three totallydifferent individuals have different ideas about the same topic.

The ways theme ideas ark- developed may be influenced by prefer-

ences within the class. Vinny Froio, Mary McPhillips, and Gina Letiziouse their class as example:

In our group we like themes to be interesting and detailed. Theymust be detailed so that the listeners and readers will willingly involvethemselves. We also like suspense that builds up to an exciting,action-packed ending. Since we want to give an idea of what the aver-age eighth graders at Windham Center School like in themes, we asked

47- 44 -

them. The majority of the boys enjoy science fiction and adventures,while the majority of the girls like "emotional," humorous, and sciencefiction themes.

For science fiction themes there's a certain topic that almosteverybody writes about called the Kulubians. They are strange alienswho live in outer space. The following is a Kulubian theme by VincentFroio about the Kulubians invading Africa.

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Along with the Kulubian themes we also have many seriousthemes to bring us back to reality. The serious themes range from lovestories to fictional suicide stories. Here is a love story in which youwill see the depth needed for a well-written theme.

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crThe main point we are trying to get across in this section is that

perfect themes don't come overnight. We also want to say that justbecause you might think that your writings are horrible, somebodymight like them! Good writing takes a lot of thought, patience,creativity, and last but not least... Practice! Here is a theme by a girlin our class who tells how she became a better writer:

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Improvement is obvious to the student writers. According toAlyssa ArrigO, through our eighth grade year we as students havelearned to develop our ,idea span by practicing our writing weekly. Wefind ourselves not having to use topics given by Mrs. Marashio asmuch as when we started. Most of us coma up with our own creativeideas used in our composition writing.'

Many people in fact would like to know how we get our brilliantideas. We have surveyed and found that lots of students get their ideasfrom outside sources, such as watching television, from a conversation,or even a cerlain incident.

Kathy Kerton explains how she improved:

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Karen Cizmadia ends this chapter