carlo goldoni · the fan by carlo goldoni, adapted by david s. craig v 1.1 3 act first scene i. all...

The Fan by Carlo Goldoni, adapted by David S. Craig v 1.1

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THE FAN (IL VENTAGLIO)

A COMEDY

by

Carlo Goldoni

Adapted by David S. Craig

(c) 2011 David S. Craig


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THE FAN

BY Carlo Goldoni

Adapted by David S. Craig

TIME: 1756

Act I – a summer morning

Act II – later the same day

PLACE: Case Nuove, a village near Milan.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

THE TWO URCHINS, a brother and sister (non speaking)

CORONATO, an Inn keeper and rival for Giannina

GIANNINA, a servant to Candida and a washer of clothes

SUSANNA, a shopkeeper

MORACCHIO, Giannina’s brother and a servant to Evaristo, Geltrude and Coronato

CRESPINO, a cobbler and rival for Giannina

EVARISTO, a young gentleman

THE BARON, an aristocrat and friend to Evaristo

TIMOTEO, an apothecary

CANDIDA, a young lady

GELTRUDE, Candida’s aunt

THE COUNT, a local aristocrat

LIMONADO, an 18th century barrista

Casting Notes: The character of SUSANNA may be doubled with TIMOTEO and the character of

MORACCHIO may be doubled with LIMONADO.


3

ACT FIRST

SCENE I.

All the characters of the play are discovered, as follows: THE

TWO URCHINS (boy and girl), enter carrying a burlap bag.

CORONATO comes out of his Inn and takes the bag which kicks

and thrashes. He quickly re-enters the Inn. The URCHINS

follow. GIANNINA, enters from her house with a load of

laundry. SUSANNA, enters from her shop, sets out a display of

her cloth goods and then exits. MORACCHIO, enters from his

house putting on his valet jacket. He enters the villa. CRESPINO

enters and set out his tools. The URCHINS enter from the Inn

fighting over a piece of bread. EVARISTO enters from the Inn

and looks up to the balcony. The BARON enters from the Inn.

TIMOTEO enters from his shop and puts out a chair. CANDIDA

enters onto the balcony and exchanges a look with EVARISTO.

GELTRUDE enters. She and CANDIDA sit and begin sewing. The

COUNT enters from the café finishing his coffee. He is

acknowledged by all. LIMONADO enters from the café with a

tray and two small cups of coffee. Evaristo and the Baron

drink. The COUNT puts his empty cup on LIMONADO’s tray and

walks off without paying. He sits on TIMOTEO’s chair and reads.

EVARISTO. (To the BARON.) What do you think of this coffee?

BARON. I like it.

EVARISTO. I find it delicious. Bravo Signor Lemonado. This morning you have done well.

LEMONADO. I thank you but beg not to call me by that name "Lemonado."

EVARISTO. But you are famous by that name. Everybody says, "Let's go to the the village of Case

Nuove and drink coffee at Lemonado's." How can you be offended by that?

LEMONADO. Because, sir, it's not my name.

BARON. Then from now on we will not call you Lemonado. Instead, we will call you

Signor Orangina or Signor Apricotta.


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LEMONADO. I warn you, I'm not a man to be made a fool.

CANDIDA laughs.

EVARISTO. What do you think Signora Candida?

CANDIDA. (Fanning herself, then putting her fan on the railing of the balcony.) What is there to

think? It’s all too ridiculous.

GELTRUDE. Come, gentlemen, let that poor fellow alone. He is under my protection and he makes

good coffee.

BARON. Well, if he is under the protection of Signora Geltrude, we must show him respect.

(Aside to EVARISTO.) But why does the good widow protect him?

EVARISTO. (To the BARON.) I forbid you saying anything against Signora Geltrude. She is the most

honest and honorable lady in the world.

BARON. As you say. But she has the same passion for protection as does the Count over there,

reading his book like a judge.

EVARISTO. With him you are right. He is ridiculous. But it is unjust to compare him with Signora

Geltrude.

BARON. Each in his own way. For my part, I find them both ridiculous. I think a hundred times

more of Signora Candida.

Exit LEMONADO into the inn. TIMOTEO pounds harder in his

mortar.

EVARISTO. Yes, she’s quite a fine girl.

COUNT. (With dignity.) Timoteo!

TIMOTEO. Sir.

COUNT. Your pounding annoys me.

TIMOTEO. (Still pounding.) I beg your pardon, sir.

COUNT. I can't read with your deafening noise.


5

TIMOTEO. (Still pounding.) Pardon me; I shall finish in a moment.

CRESPINO. (Working and laughing.) Coronato!

CORONATO. What?

CRESPINO. (Pounding on a shoe.) The Count wants everyone to keep quiet!

CRESPINO and TIMOTEO hammer.

COUNT. The devil take your impertinence! Are you going to pound all the morning?

CRESPINO. Sir, do you know what I’m doing?

COUNT. (Scornfully.) Why would I ever want to know that?

CRESPINO. Because I’m mending your old boots.

COUNT. (Beginning to read again.) Silence, you scoundrel.

CRESPINO, TIMOTEO and GIANNINA hammer and bang.

COUNT. (Getting uneasy.) I can't stand this any longer.

CRESPINO. Moracchio!

MORACCHIO. What?

CRESPINO. The Count can’t take it any longer.

MORACCHIO. Be quiet. He's a gentleman.

CRESPINO. A half-starved gentleman!

GIANNINA. Moracchio!

MORACCHIO. What?

GIANNINA. What did Crespino say?

MORACCHIO. Mind your own business.


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GIANNINA. (aside) See how polite my brother is! He treats me like a slave. (to MOR.) I can’t wait till

I'm married.

MORACCHIO. You’ll get married when I say and to who I say.

SUSANNA. What is it, Giannina?

GIANNINA. Oh, if you only knew, Susanna! In all the world there is no greater boor than my

brother.

MORACCHIO. Say what you like. As long as you are under my authority ....

GIANNINA. Which won’t be for very long.

MORACCHIO. Because you will be married?

GIANNINA. Yes. To –

MORACCHIO. Coronato!

CORONATO spits.

GIANNINA. No.

CRESPINO. No.

CORONATO. What are you talking about?

GIANNINA. I want to die, die, die.

EVARISTO. (To MORACCHIO.) Come, what is the matter? (To MORACCHIO) You are always

tormenting the poor girl. She doesn't deserve it.

MORACCHIO. She doesn’t respect my authority.

GIANNINA. Save me Signor Evaristo.

EVARISTO. Come, come, Giannina, that's enough!

BARON. (To CANDIDA.) Evaristo is taking a great interest in that peasant girl.

CANDIDA. So it seems.


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CRESPINO. (Aside.) Poor Giannina; I must save her from Coronato.

CORONATO. (Aside.) Poor Giannina. Working for her brother when she could be working for me.

EVARISTO. (To the BARON.) Well, Baron, shall we go?

BARON. To tell you the truth, I don't feel like hunting this morning. Yesterday was enough.

EVARISTO. As you please. Do you mind if I go?

BARON. By all means. (Aside.) It will give me a chance to try my luck with Candida. (to

EVARISTO) I will rest in the inn.

EVARISTO. If you give orders for dinner, I will dine with you.

BARON. With pleasure.

EVARISTO. Moracchio!

MORACCHIO. Sir?

EVARISTO. Bring me my gun.

MORACCHIO. At once.

BARON. (Aside.) I will withdraw, so as not to raise suspicion. (To the ladies.) Ladies, au revoir!

(To CORONATO.) Coronato!

CORONATO. Sir.

BARON. I am going to my room; get dinner ready for two.

The BARON exits.

CORONATO. Certainly, sir. At your orders. (aside) At least I know he will pay. Not like that begger

the Count.


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ACT FIRST.

SCENE II.

Enter MORACCHIO from the house with a hunting rifle.

MORACCHIO. (To EVARISTO.) Here is your gun sir.

EVARISTO. (To the ladies.) Ladies, if you will excuse me, I am going to try my luck with my gun.

GELTRUDE. I trust you will enjoy yourself.

CANDIDA. Good sport and good luck with your gun.

EVARISTO. (To CANDIDA.) Favoured by your good wishes, my luck is certain.

CANDIDA. (To GELTRUDE.) Signor Evaristo is so courteous.

GELTRUDE. He is well mannered, that is true, he has polish. But you must beware, neice, the man

you don’t know completely.

CANDIDA. Why do you say that, aunt?

GELTRUDE. Experience is the seed of all knowledge.

CANDIDA. I have always been reserved towards him.

GELTRUDE. And with reserve is exactly how you should continue.

CANDIDA. (Aside.) Her warning is late! I am already deeply in love. .

EVARISTO. (To the ladies.) Once more ladies, your humble servant.

GELTRUDE. (Rises to salute him.) Your servant.

CANDIDA. Your most humble servant.

She rises and knocks the fan from the railing; it falls to the

ground.


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EVARISTO. Oh.

CANDIDA. Oh.

EAVARISTO. Your fan.

CANDIDA. It fell.

EAVARISTO. Allow me the pleasure.

CANDIDA. You are too kind.

GELTRUDE. Don't trouble yourself.

EVARISTO. It’s broken. I am grieved beyond measure.

CANDIDA. Please. It is an old fan.

EVARISTO. It is your fan, and had it had not been for me causing you to stand...

GELTRUDE. You must not be troubled.

EVARISTO. Allow me to have the honour ....

GELTRUDE. I say don’t trouble yourself. Give it to the servant. (She calls.) Moracchio!

MOR. Signora!

GELTRUDE. Take the fan.

MOR. At once.

Moracchio rushes to villa and puts on his valet jacket.

MOR. (To EVARISTO.) If you please, sir.

EAVARISTO. I thought you were a hunting guide.

MOR. Hunting guide, valet... (Coronato clears his throat) boot boy.


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EVARISTO. If the ladies will not allow me, take it. (Gives the fan to MORACCHIO, who goes with it

into the house.)

CANDIDA. (To GELTRUDE.) See how upset he is.

GELTRUDE. Surely, he is a gentleman of breeding. (Aside.) But underneath I suspect there is

passion.

ACT FIRST.

SCENE III.

MORACCHIO, on the balcony, gives the fan to the ladies, who

examine it.

EVA. (Aside.) I am distressed that the fan is broken and yet, if I can replace it, with a fan of my own, a

symbol of my love... (To SUSANNA.) Signora Susanna!

SUS. Your servant, sir.

EVA. May I speak with you. In your shop.

SUS. Certainly, sir.

GIA. (Aside) Thank heaven, with my brother gone I may have a chance to speak to Crespino. But not

with Coronato around. The way he treats me?

COUNT. (Reading.) Oh this is good. Exquisite. Beautiful. (He calls.) Signora Geltrude!

CRES. What have you found that is so beautiful?

COUNT. None of your business. What could you possibly know about a masterpiece of literature.

CRES. (Aside. Pounding on his shoe.) I bet I know more than he does.

COUNT. Signora Geltrude.

GELTRUDE. At your service, Count.

COUNT. If you could only hear what I am reading! It is a masterpiece.


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GEL. Is it historical?

COUNT. (Scornfully.) No!

GEL. Philosophical?

COUNT. Oh my.

GEL. A fine piece of poetry?

COUNT. Never!

GEL. What is it, then?

COUNT. It is a marvel, a miracle, in a translation from the French; It is a romance called a fable.

CRES. (aside) A fable. Oh yes that is a marvel, a miracle.

COUNT. Would you like to hear it?

GEL. It would be my pleasure.

CRES. (Pounding.) The devil! He’s going to read it.

He pounds on his last.

COUNT. (To CRESPINO.) Must you pound so hard?

CRES. I need to put on the heels.

TIMOTEO begins again to pound in his mortar.

COUNT. There is that other headache. Will you not stop?

TIM. (Still pounding.) I am just doing my work.

COUNT. (To GELTRUDE.) Listen! "There was once upon a time a maiden of such rare beauty . . . "

TIMOTEO and MORACCHIO pound louder.

Leave off I say! Or go pound somewhere else!


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TIM. (Still pounding.) Excuse me, sir; I pay my rent and I have no place else to work.

COUNT. Oh, go to the devil with that damned mortar! I can't read. I can't endure it. Signora

Geltrude, I will come into the house. You shall hear what a fine fable this is.

He exits into the villa. MORACCHIO receives him.

TIMOTEO exits.

GEL. I am delighted. Moracchio, attend to the Count. Come Candida, we must go down and

receive him.

CAN. Must I? You know that I don't enjoy fables.

GEL. You must respect others if you wish respect from others. Come along.

CAN. (Starts to follow.) Very well, I will come to please you.

ACT FIRST.

SCENE IV.

EVARISTO and SUSANNA enter from shop.

CAN. What? Evaristo still here? I thought he went hunting.

SUS. I assure you sir, I have given you the fan at the lowest possible price.

EVA. It is not the price. I am distressed only that you have nothing better.

SUS. I have nothing either better or worse. It is the only fan I have.

EVA. Then I shall have it.

SUS. I suppose it is a gift?

EVA. Of course. Did you think I would buy it for myself?

SUS. Is it for Signora Candida?


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EVA. Why do you suppose that?

SUS. Because I noticed that hers was broken.

EVA. (aside) I can’t have this woman knowing my business. (to SUSANNA) You are mistaken

Signora. This fan is for someone else.

CANDIDA comes forward on the balcony.

CAN. (aside) So. He has secrets with the shopkeeper.

EVA. (To GIANNINA.) Giannina!

GIA. (washing) Yes, sir?

EVA. Will you do me a favour?

GIA. Everyone else orders me around, why not you?

EVA. You know that Signora Candida is fond of you.

GIA. Yes, sir, she honours me with her friendship.

EVA. And I take an interest in your brother.

GIA. (Scornfully.) Why do you take an interest in him? I am living with no father and no

brother under the authority of a brother who is a beast and a bully. Why can’t you take

an interest in me.

EAVARISTO. I am trying to.

SUS. (Aside.) Is it possible that he bought the fan for Giannina? I don't believe it.

CORONATO and CRESPINO show curiosity to hear what

EVARISTO is saying to GIANNINA, and come forward.

CAN. Intimate conversation with the shopkeeper and now intimate conversation with

Giannina.

EVA. (To GIANNINA.) Will you do me a favour?


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GIA. Didn't I tell you that I would? Didn't I tell you to command me? Or does my washing

embarass you? I wash, all day, that’s what I do.

EVA. (Aside.) I feel like saying nothing more, but I have need of her.

CRES. (Aside.) What’s going on?

CORONATO. Why is she so angry?

SUSANNA. If he is giving her a present...

CANDIDA. Why is she flying into a rage?

EVA. Giannina, be kind.

GIA. I did not know that I was unkind.

EVA. You know that Signora Candida has broken her fan?

GIA. I know.

EVA. And I have bought another one.

GIA. That’s nice.

EVA. I don't want Signora Geltrude to know about it.

GIA. Of course.

EVA. So I want you to give to Candida secretly.

GIA. Forget it.

EVA. (aside) That is an ugly reply.

CAN. (Aside.) Why isn’t he hunting?

CRES. (Coming further forward, and pretending to work.) What are they saying?

COR. (Comes forward, pretending to write in his book.) I want to know!

EVA. (To GIANNINA.) Why will you not do me this favour?


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GIA. Do you think I’m the kind of girl who sneaks around like that?

EVA. You are taking this the wrong way. Signora Candida is fond of you!

GIA. And I am fond of her. That’s why I won’t do it.

EVA. (aside) I think she is a little like her brother. (to GIANNINA) She told me that you want

to marry Crespino and... (He turns and sees the two men listening.) What the deuce are

you two doing?

CRES. (Sits down again.) Working, sir.

COR. (Sits down again.) Can't an honest man walk up and down while he writes?

CAN. (Aside.) Those two are exchanging secrets.

SUS. (Aside.) Why in the world do all the men run after that girl?

GIA. Do you have anything else to say before I go back to my work?

EVA. Giannina, Signora Candida begged me to provide you with a dowry so you could marry

Crespino.

GIA. She did?

EVA. Yes, and I will do so if you do me this little favour. .

GIA. Where is the fan?

EVA. In my pocket.

She looks around. Everyone else turns away.

GIA. Give it to me, give it to me; but don't let anybody see.

EVA. (Giving it to her.) Here it is.

CRES. (Aside) He is giving her something!

COR. (Aside.) What can it be?


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SUS. (Aside.) I can’t believe it. He’s given her the fan!

CAN. My Evaristo. He deceives me.

EVA. (To GIANNINA.) It is done. I enjoin you to secrecy.

GIA. Trust me. It will be done.

EVA. For this service, my gratitude.

GIA. For the dowry, my thanks.

EVA. Adieu.

GIA. Ciao.

EVA. (About to go, he sees CANDIDA on the balcony.) What joy! My Candida is again on the

balcony.

CANDIDA turns her back toward him.

EVA. What does that mean? Is it an insult? Impossible! I know that she loves me and she

knows that I adore her, and yet … Of course - her aunt must have been watching her,

and she did not want her aunt to know. Yes. It cannot be anything else. But I must put

an end to this secrecy. I must speak to Signora Geltrude, and obtain from her the

precious gift of her neice.

EVARISTO exits into the cafe.

GIA. I am so grateful for Signora Candida’s help. Can I do any less for her? Girls have to help

each other out.

COR. (To GIANNINA.) So. Long conversations, great secrets with Signor Evaristo!

GIA. What business is that of yours?

COR. If it weren’t my business, I wouldn’t speak of it.

CRESPINO comes behind CORONATO to listen.

GIA. You have no authority over me.


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COR. Not yet, but I will have very soon.

GIA. Who says that?

COR. The one who has authority over you. The one who has promised you to me. The one

who has given his word.

GIA. Oh, you mean my brother.

COR. Yes, your brother; and I shall tell him about the conversations and the secrets and the

presents -

CRES. (Coming between the two.) Hold on there, Innkeeper. Why are you bothering this girl?

COR. I don't have to explain myself to you!

CRES. (To GIANNINA.) And what is this secret you have with Evaristo?

GIA. Leave me alone, both of you.

CRES. I must know.

COR. You must? You must? Give your commands to those under your thumb. Your shoes.

Giannina is promised to me by her brother!

CRES. And she has been promised to me by herself! (To GIANNINA.) What did Evaristo give

you?

COR. Yes, what did he give you?

GIA. He gave me nothing but I give you both to the devil.

COR. Signor Evaristo come out of the shop.

CRES. He was buying her a present.

GIA. O, I hope Susanna says nothing.

COR. (To SUSANNA.) Senora Susanna, I beg of you, what did Signor Evaristo buy from you?

SUS. (Smiling.) A fan.


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CRES. And what did he give to Giannina?

SUS. What else? The fan.

GIA. That’s not true.

SUS. (To GIANNINA.) What do you mean?

COR. (To GIANNINA, roughly.) Show me the fan!

CRES. (Pushing CORONATO aside.) It's none of your business! (To GIANNINA.) Show me the

fan!

CORONATO and CRESPINO are about to strike each other.

GIA. (To SUSANNA.) See? This is all your fault.

SUS. (Angrily.) My fault?

GIA. You can’t keep yopur mouth shut.

SUS. You dare say that to me?

GIA. (Raising her stick.) Yak-yak-yak.

SUS. (Drawing back.) I will retire, for fear I may lose my temper.

GIA. You lose your temper!

SUS. You are a peasant and you act like a peasant.

GIANNINA attacks. SUSANNA runs into her shop. GIANNINA

tries to follow, CRESPINO holds her back,

GIA. Leave me alone!

CRES. (Roughly) Show me the fan.

GIA. I haven't got any fan!

COR. Then what did Evaristo give you?


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GIA. What are you thinking?

COR. That there’s something going on?

CRESP. If there is, it’s none of your business.

GIA. I am a respectable girl.

CRESP. She is a respectable girl (to GIA.). Now, tell me what’s going on.

GIA. Why are you doing this? You’re driving me crazy.

CRESP. Because it is I, Coranoto, that you should be telling.

GIA. Oh yes, I should telling you and I will, when you both burn in hell!

She exits and slams the door.

CRESP. (Aside) Isn’t she fantastic?

COR. She slammed the door in my face. What an insult. And it’s all your fault.

CRESP. My fault? Because you are a boor.

COR. Don’t make me lose my temper.

CRESP. You think I’m afraid of you?

COR. Giannina is mine.

CRESP. Never! Or, I swear by heaven … I swear by heaven.

COR. Are you threatening me? You’re a little shoeman. Me, a respectable innkeeper.

CRESP. Respectable. Ha!

COR. You doubt it?

CRESP. Not just me.

COR. Who else?


20

CRESP. The whole village.

COR. I’m not the one they talk about. I’m not the one who sells old leather for new.

CRESP. And I’m not the one who sells water for wine, or mutton for lamb or buys cats to sell as

rabbits.

COR. Why you …

CRESP. What’s this?

COR. Corpo di bacco!

CRESP. He’s going for his knife!

CRESPINO gets his hammer and chases CORONATO who picks

up a chair; CRESPINO gets a bench. CORONATO PULLS THE

STATUE OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN. Ccrespino CLIMBS UP THE

SIDE GELTRUDE’S house. GELTRUDE beats him with her fan.

GIANNINA jumps onto CORONATO’S back. TIMOTEO,

LEMONADO, THE COUNT, THE BARON and the URCHINS all

enter.

ACT FIRST.

SCENE V.

COUNT. (Keeping at a safe distance). Stop! Stop! You dogs. I command you. It is I, the Count di

Rocca Marina. Stop, I command you, stop.

CRES. (To CORONATO.) Alright. Out of respect for the Count I’ll stop.

COR. Give thanks. Without him, I would have broken your head.

COUNT. Peace, I say. That's quite enough. I want to know what this quarrel is about. You others

go away. I will judge and no one else.

Others exit.

TIM. Anyone hurt?


21

COUNT. Why? Are you hoping there are some cracked skulls, fractured legs and broken arms?

TIM. I wish no harm to anyone, but if they were injured, I would do what I could to heal them.

I should be especially glad in such a way to serve your illustrious lordship.

COUNT. Sir. You are a rogue. I will have you removed.

TIM. You can’t remove an honest man.

COUNT No, but I can remove an ignorant, impertinent fraud at any time of my choosing!

TIM. Sir! I am surprised that you should speak so; you forget that without my pills you would

now be dead !

COUNT. Insolent knave!

TIM. Pills you haven’t paid for!

TIMOTEO exits.

COUNT. (aside) That man must be beaten.

COR. (Aside.) I was just thinking the Count might be of some use to me.

COUNT. Well, then. What's the matter with you? What is the reason for this quarrel?

CRES. I will tell you, sir. I don’t mind telling everyone. I love Giannina.

COR. But Giannina is promised to me.

COUNT. Ah, ha, I understand; a warfare of love, two champions of Cupid, two suitors for the

beautiful Venus, the Goddess of Case Nuove!

GIANNINA enters and throws out some slops. She exits. The

Count laughs.

CRES. (Starting to go away.) If you are making fun of her, I’m leaving.

COUNT. (Stopping him.) Stay. Come back.

COR. This thing is serious.


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COUNT. Of course. You are lovers, rivals. Cospetto di Bacco! This is just like the fable which I

was reading to Signora Geltrude. (Reading from his book.) "There was once upon a time

a maiden of such rare beauty . . . "

CRES. (Aside.) I’m gone.

COUNT. Where are you going?

CRES. To finish mending your boots.

COUNT. Ensure they are mended by tomorrow morning.

COR. And ensure they are mended with new leather.

CRES. (To CORONATO.) If I need new leather I will come to your Inn. Horse-hide or cat-skin.

COR. (Aside.) I will rejoice when that fellow dies in my hands.

COUNT. What is that he said about cats ? Are you serving us cats?

COR. Sir, I am an honest man, and that fellow is an impertinent scoundrel who does nothing

but persecute me.

COUNT. This is the result of his passion, his rivalry. So are you the love of Giannina?

COR. Yes, sir; in fact, I was just going to ask for your protection.

COUNT. My protection ! (he signals for one of the URCHINS to bring his riser) Very well, we shall

see. Are you sure that she returns your affection ?

COR. In truth, I think she likes Crespino more than me.

COUNT. That is unfortunate.

COR. But I have her brother's promise.

COUNT Can you depend on it?

COR. Absolutely.

COUNT. Yes but you can't force a woman. You can’t dispose of her like a horse.


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COR. But with your protection ....

COUNT. My protection is good. My protection is powerful. But a even gentleman cannot control

a woman's heart.

COR. But she’s just peasant.

COUNT. What difference does that make? A woman is always a woman. Of course, there is rank,

there is position, but regardless I am bound to respect her gender as I respect my

mother.

COR. (Aside.) This fellow’s protection is good for nothing!

COUNT. By the way, how is your wine cellar?

COR. It’s fine.

COUNT. Anything I might like? A fine vintage. A few barrels. For me. From you.

CORONATO. Ah! Yes! I have something very special.

COUNT. Perhaps I could speak with this girl.

COR. Your words might have some effect in my favour.

COUNT. After all, you should be preferred.

COR. Between me and Crespino ....

COUNT. There's no comparison. A man like you, well spoken, well positioned, clean.

COR. You are too kind.

COUNT. I respect all women, and on that account, I assure you that they will do for me what they

wouldn't do for anyone else.

COR. That's what I thought, but you almost made me give up hope.

COUNT. I am like a lawyer. I always begin with a thousand difficulties. My friend, trust me, I will

do everything I can for you.


24

COR. Then perhaps you would care to sample some of your wine ....

COUNT. Excellent fellow.

COR. At your service.

The COUNT exits to the Inn.

COR. (Aside.) Two barrels of wine for a wife. That’s a good investment.

He exits into the Inn. .

ACT SECOND.

SCENE I.

Enter SUSANNA from her shop; she displays her goods.

SUS. Business is bad in this village. The only thing I sold today was that fan, and I almost gave

that away, just to get rid of it. Everybody who can spend money goes to the city and

there’s no use trying to sell to the poor. I'm a fool to waste my time among country

people. They make no distinction between a lady who keeps a shop and a girl who

washes clothes. Take that hussy Giannina. Just because the ladies in the villa are nice to

her she thinks she’s something special. And now she has a fan. How ridiculous. A

peasant with a fan. I was well brought up. I know my place and her kind of behaviour

makes me crazy.

She sits and begins to work.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE II.

Enter CANDIDA from the villa.

CAN. I cannot rest until I find out the truth about what I’ve seen. Alas for me, if I should find

him unfaithful. He is my first and only love. (She goes slowly toward SUSANNA.)

SUS. (Rising.) Oh, Signora Candida, your humble servant.


25

CAN. Good-day, Signora Susanna. What are you working on?

SUS. A bonnet.

CAN. To sell?

SUS. Yes, to sell, if someone wants it.

CAN. I might have need of a nightcap.

SUS. I have some already made. May I show them to you?

CAN. No, no, some other time.

SUS. (Offering her a chair) Won't you sit down?

CAN. Thank you. (she sits) And where will you sit?

SUS. I will get another chair. (She brings a chair from the shop)

CAN. Please. Sit down.

SUS. It's very kind of you to visit me. It shows you are a lady. People of good breeding are

willing to talk to anyone. The peasants are as proud as Lucifer. Take Giannina for

example...

CAN. Speaking of Giannina, did you notice her talking to Evaristo?

SUS. Did I notice it? How could I help it?

CAN. It seemed like a long conversation.

SUS. It was. And do you know what happened afterwards?

CAN. I heard an awful noise. They told me that Coronato and Crespino nearly came to blows.

SUS. They did, and all on account of Giannina!

CAN. But why?

SUS. Through jealousy of each other, and jealousy of Evaristo.


26

CAN. Evaristo? Do you think he cares for Giannina?

SUS. I don't know, and I certainly don't bother with other people's affairs, but if the innkeeper

and the shoemaker are jealous of him, they must have some reason.

CAN. (Aside.) Alas! My suspicions are confirmed.

SUS. I beg your pardon, I hope you have no inclination for Signor Evaristo?

CAN. I? An inclination? Certainly not. I know him, because he comes to the house

sometimes, because he is a friend of my aunt's.

SUS. Forgive me, I thought for a moment you had some kind of an understanding with Signor

Evaristo but after what you have told me, and after what happened in my shop this

morning, I see that I was mistaken.

CAN. Completely.

SUS. I am corrected.

CAN. I am glad. But you say he was in your shop.

SUS. Yes. He came to buy a fan.

CAN. A fan?

SUS. Yes. Certainly; and as I had seen that you had broken yours, I said at once, "This must be

a gift for Signora Candida."

CAN. So he bought the fan for me?

SUS. Oh, no. Indeed, I made so bold as to ask him if he had bought it for you but he replied

as if I had offended him. "What have I to do with Signora Candida?”, he said, “The fan is

for someone else”. And then he gave it to Giannina.

CAN. (Aside, much agitated.) All is lost. I am undone!

SUS. (Watching her.) Signora Candida!

CAN. (Aside.) False! Faithless! And for what? For a peasant girl!


27

SUS. Signora Candida!

CAN. (Aside.) It is an unbearable insult.

SUS. (aside) What have I said? Signora Candida, calm yourself. Maybe I was mistaken.

CAN. Did he or did he not give the fan to Giannina?

SUS. So far as that goes, I saw it with my own eyes.

CAN. Then why are you saying you might be mistaken?

SUS. I don't know. I just wanted to... I just hoping that... Here is your Aunt.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE III.

Enter GELTRUDE from the villa.

CAN. For love of Heaven, don't tell her anything.

SUS. You have my word. (Aside.) What a situation. Why didn’t she tell me the truth?

GEL. Niece, what are you doing here?

SUS. Signora Candida was kind enough to grace me with her company.

GELTRUDE. Her company?

CAN. And to see if she had a nightcap.

SUS. Yes. She asked me for one.

GELTRUDE. A nightcap?

SUS. Please do not be uneasy, Signora Geltrude. I am a respectable woman. Your niece is

quite safe in my house.


28

GEL. You defend yourself, Signora, before you have been accused. (to CAN.) Why didn’t you

tell me you needed a cap?

CAN. You were writing in your dressingroom and I didn’t want to disturb you.

SUS. Let me go and fetch the cap. Please assist yourself. I mean, seat yourself.

Exit into shop. GELTRUDE and CANDIDA sit.

GEL. Candida?

CANDIDA. Yes Aunt.

GELTRUDE. Have you heard anything about the quarrel between the innkeeper and the shoemaker?

CAN. I have heard it is an affair of love and jealousy and Giannina is the cause.

GEL. I am sorry for that. She is a good girl.

CAN. Oh, I beg your pardon, Aunt, but I have heard such things of her that it would be best

not to let her come to the house any more.

GEL. Why, what have they said?

CAN. I will tell you later. Do as I do, Aunt, and receive her no more.

GEL. Well, as she came to see you rather than me, you can do as you like.

CAN. It will be much better. (aside) The wretched creature! If she has the cheek to appear

before me I will...

SUS. (Returning from the shop.} Here are the caps! Look and choose what you will. (All

three look at the caps, talking quietly together.)

ACT SECOND.

SCENE IV.

Enter COUNT and BARON from the inn.


29

COUNT. I am pleased, Baron, that you have confided in me. Leave the matter in my hands and

your satisfaction is assured.

BARON. I know that you are a friend of Signora Geltrude.

COUNT. A friend? Let me explain. She is a woman of some intelligence and as I am devoted to

literature I can speak to her better than others. Moreover, she is a lady sadly reduced in

state. Her husband left her in poverty with this wretched little villa with some lands and

vineyards and to keep the respect of the village she needs must rely on my protection.

BARON. Long live Count Roca Marina, protector of beautiful widows.

COUNT. What can I do? In this world one must be of some service.

BARON. Then you will do me this favor?

COUNT. Fear not. I will speak to her; I will ask for the hand of her niece for a gentleman who is a

my friend; and if it is I who ask, she will not have the audacity to say no.

BARON. And you will tell her who I am?

COUNT. To what purpose? When it is I who ask.

BARON. But you will asking on my behalf?

COUNT. Of course on your behalf.

BARON. But, do you really know who I am?

COUNT. You think I don't know who you are? With your titles, your property, your distinctions?

Baron, we, of the nobility, always know who we are. (Suddenly) My very dear friend!

BARON. Sir?

COUNT. There is Signora Geltrude with her niece.

BARON. They are busy. They don’t see us.

COUNT. Of course they didn't see us. If Gertrude had seen me, she would have rushed over to

speak to me at once.

BARON When will you speak to her?


30

COUNT. Now, if you wish.

BARON. Yes. You speak to her, and I will visit the apothecary.

COUNT. The apothecary?

BARON. I need some medicine for my spleen. An old wound.

COUNT. Don’t go there. He will just give you elder bark. You should try some of my rhubarb

cordial.

BARON. No, no, I know what I need. I leave this matter completely in your hands.

COUNT. (Embracing him.) My very dear friend! I am your humble servant.

BARON. And I yours. Farewell. (Aside.) What joy I would feel if I didn’t need this fool.

The BARON exits.

COUNT. Signora Geltrude!

GEL. (Rising.) Oh, Count, forgive me. I did not see you there.

COUNT. A word, with you, if you please.

GEL. Would you favour us with your presence here?

COUNT. Forgive me but this is a private matter which insists on being discussed over here.

GEL. Then I will come at once. Pray allow me to pay for this cap.

She pays SUSANNA

COUNT. (Aside.) What’s that? She’s going to pay in coin. That is a vice that I’ve never had.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE V.


31

Enter CORONATO from the inn with MORACCHIO, who carries

a barrel of wine on his shoulder.

COR. (To the COUNT.) Your excellency, here is your barrel.

COUNT. And the other?

COR. It will follow. Where do we take it?

COUNT. To my palace.

COR. To whom shall we deliver it?

COUNT. To my steward.

COR. You have a steward?

COUNT. Yes. The steward is anyone who’s there.

COR. Very good. Come along.

MOR. Has the Count a tip for me?

COUNT. Don’t leave him alone with the wine.

COR. Never fear, your excellency.

COUNT And see he doesn’t put water in it.

COR. That I will never allow. (aside) And it’s not a lie because I’ve already done it.

They exit. GELTRUDE comes toward the COUNT. SUSANNA

and CANDIDA are seated, and talk together.

GEL. Now, Count, what is your will?

COUNT. In one word, will you give me your niece?

GEL. Give? What do you mean by give?

COUNT. The deuce! Don't you understand? In marriage!


32

GEL. To you?

COUNT. Not to me, but to a person I know, a person I recommend.

GEL. Count, you know that my niece is an orphan, the daughter of my only brother and that I

have undertaken to be a mother to her.

COUNT. All this talking, if you will excuse me, is quite unnecessary.

GEL. Then let me come to the point.

COUNT. Which is?

GEL. Candida has not inherited from her father enough to marry according to her rank.

COUNT. Madam I fear this is not the point. If you will allow me to say, It is beside the point.

GEL. And if you will allow me to finish. My husband left me a wealthy woman.

COUNT. I know that.

GEL . And I have no children.

COUNT (Impatiently) So you intend to give her a dowry?

GEL. Yes, sir, when a suitable match is found.

COUNT. Now we are no longer beside the point. Now we are at the point. The necessary point

which is – I have a match and because it is I who proposes the match, he must be a

suitable match.

GEL. I am sure, Count, that you are in capable of proposing anything less than a suitable

match but I hope you will do me the honour of telling me who it is.

COUNT. He is a friend of mine.

GEL. A friend of yours?

COUNT. A nobleman, like myself.

GEL. But ....


33

COUNT. What is there to ‘but’?

GEL. Sir. If you do not wish to listen, I will relieve you of the injury of my presence.

COUNT. Stay, stay, madam. Speak and I will listen. With women I am always polite and obliging.

GEL. I will tell you in a word what I think. A title of nobility gives honour to a family, but it

doesn’t assure honour to an individual. My niece doesn’t care about nobility and I am

certainly not going to sacrifice her happiness for a title.

COUNT. Even if it’s the Baron del Cedro.

GEL. The Baron is in love with my niece?

COUNT. Oui, madame.

GEL. I know him. I have great respect for him.

COUNT You see what I offer.

GEL. He is a man of parts.

COUNT. And my friend.

GEL. A little rough in speech but that can be improved.

COUNT. Come then. What is your reply?

GEL. Doucement, Signor Count. Such things cannot be decided In haste. The Baron will have

the goodness to speak with me.

COUNT. Madam, when I make a proposal, the proposal is certain for I have done so in the

Baron’s name. He has begged me, implored me, to make this proposal and I have; just

as I beg and implore – by which I mean - I do not beg and implore - I demand you

honour it.

GEL. Very well, let us suppose the Baron is in earnest.

COUNT. Cospetto! What do you mean by "suppose"?

GEL. Very well, the thing is certain. The Baron wishes to marry her. Now I must


34

find out if Candida agrees. (Aside.) If the Baron is really in earnest, my neice’s fortune

will be made.

COUNT. There she is.

GELTRUDE. I will be with you in a moment.

COUNT. (Aside.) You see? Success follows my lead. My charisma is irresistible.

GELTRUDE. Candida, let us step inside.

CANDIDA. (aside) What can she have to say to me? I have lost all hope of being happy.

GELTRUDE, SUSANNA and then CANDIDA exit into the shop.

COUNT. There. Now, she will keep me waiting. Fortunately, I have this book to divert me. What

joy there is in reading. A man with a book is never without one. Or such words. (Takes

a book from his pocket, sits and reads.)

ACT SECOND.

SCENE VI.

Enter GIANNINA from her house.

GIA. (aside) There, lunch is ready. When my beast of a brother comes back he will have

nothing to complain about. This is a good time to give the fan to Candida.

COUNT. (aside) Aha! There is Giannina. I promised Coronato my protection, and he deserves it.

(to GIANNINA) Girl.

GIA. Sir?

COUNT. What are you doing?

GIA. I am doing what I have to do.

COUNT. Is that the way to speak to me? With such boldness, with such impertinence?


35

GIA. It’s the only way I know how to speak. I speak this way to everyone and no one has ever

called me impertinent.

COUNT. You should have been taught to make distinctions.

GIA. Oh, I don't bother with distinctions. If you want something, tell me. If you are just

amusing yourself, I have better things to do. Your lordship.

COUNT. Come here.

GIA. I am here now.

COUNT. Would you like to be married?

GIA. Yes, sir.

COUNT. And are you in love with Crespino?

GIA. He’s alright.

COUNT. And you prefer him to that fine man, that rich man, that man of reputation, Coronato?

GIA. Oh, I prefer Crespino to more men than Coronato.

COUNT. What men?

GIA. (Indicating that she means the COUNT.) I can think of one right now.

COUNT. You are impudent.

GIA. Are you finished?

COUNT. No. You will stay and listen. Your brother is under my protection; your brother has

promised you to Coronato; so you will have to marry Coronato.

GIA. Your lordship . . . !

COUNT. Illustrious lordship!

GIA. Your illustrious lordship protects my brother?

COUNT. Just so.


36

GIA. And my brother has given his word to Coronato?

COUNT. It is done.

GIA. Then there can only be one conclusion.

COUNT. Precisely.

GIA. My brother will marry Coronato!

COUNT. Baggage. Impudence. I swear you shall not have Crespino.

GIA. And why not?

COUNT. I will send him away.

GIA. I will find him.

COUNT. I will have him flogged.

GIA. He may not like that.

COUNT. I will have take his life.

GIA. That would be inconvenient.

COUNT. Then count on him as dead.

GIA. But sir, I was never taught how to count.

COUNT. Impertinence !

GIA. Do you want anything else?

COUNT. Go to the devil!

GIA. I’m sure you know the way.

COUNT. I swear to Heaven that if you were not a woman ....

GIA. I would be a man!


37

COUNT. Leave me at once.

GIA. I obey at once. Your excellent Lord Highness.

She exits into the villa.

COUNT. (Indignantly.) The slaves are rattling their chains. But what am I to do? If she won't

have Coronato, I cannot force her. And why the deuce does he want to marry her? Are

there not other women? I will find him another wife, a better wife. One that does

what she’s told. He shall see the value of my protection!

ACT SECOND.

SCENE VII.

Enter GELTRUDE and CANDIDA from shop.

GEL. Sir, my niece is a wise and prudent young woman.

COUNT. (Impatiently) Yes, yes, come to the point.

GEL. (Offended) Sir. What do you mean by "Come to the point."

COUNT. Excuse me. If you only knew what I have just been through with a woman .... True, she

was a different kind of woman. (Aside.) But they are all alike.

(Aloud) What says the wise and prudent Signora Candida?

GEL. Assuming the conditions are suitable, she will marry the Baron.

CAN. (Aside) Yes, to avenge myself on the faithless Evaristo!

COUNT. That is splendid.

GEL. (Aside) I did not expect her to agree.

COUNT. (Aside) At least in this my plans succeed.

ACT SECOND.


38

SCENE VIII.

Enter GIANNINA on the balcony of the villa.

GIA. Finally. There she is.

COUNT. And so, Signora Candida will marry the Baron del Cedro.

GIA. What do I hear? It’s not possible.

GEL. (To the COUNT.) She will do it if the conditions are acceptable.

COUNT. (To CANDIDA.) Conditions! What conditions do you impose?

CAN. (To the COUNT.) None at all, sir. I will marry him in any case.

COUNT. Brava, Signora Candida !

CANDIDA. (Aside) I will die but I will be revenged.

GIA. (Aside) Poor Signor Evaristo !

She exits into the villa.

COUNT. (Aside.) With my charisma, everything resolves to perfection! (Aloud) Ladies, with your

permission I will convey the joyful news to my dear friend, the Baron; and as the hour is

advanced, shall I include an invitation to dinner? invite him to dinner.

GEL. On his first visit?

COUNT. Let us wave aside formality. If I present the invitation I am sure he will accept it. And if I

also attend, the joy will be complete.

He exits into the apothecary.

GELTRUDE. What do you say neice?

CANDIDA. I am completely in your hands.

GEL. What troubles you, neice? Are you sure this comes from your heart?


39

CAN. I am quite sure, madam. (Aside.) What can I do? I have given my word.

GEL. The let us go in and prepare for them.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE IX.

Enter GIANNINA from palace.

GIA. Signora Candida!

CAN. (Angrily.) What are you doing here?

GIA. I was trying to find you.

CAN. Get away, and never put your foot in our house again.

GIA. What? What have I done?

CAN. You are a worthless, insolent, ungrateful piece of baggage with ugly features whose

presence I will endure no longer.

Exit into villa.

GELTRUDE. (Aside.) Well, that was a little embarassing.

GIA. Signora Geltrude! Why have I been so insulted?

GEL. I am sorry for your mortification, but my niece is a sensible person. If she has criticised

your behaviour, there must be a reason.

GIA. What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything.

GEL. See here, now, don’t forget your manners. Don't shout so.

GIA. I demand an explanation.

GEL. No, stop! You can do it later.


40

GIA. But I tell you that I want to do it now.

GEL. Don’t you dare enter this house.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE X.

Enter COUNT and BARON.

COUNT. This way, Baron.

GIA. I will break down the door.

GEL. Impertinent peasant!

GELTRUDE pushes GIANNINA aside and slams the door just as

the COUNT and the BARON, unseen by her, approach.

BARON. What is this? She shut the door in my face!

COUNT. It is not possible.

BARON. Not possible? Not possible when it has just been done?

GIA. (Aside) This was an insult aimed at me!

COUNT. (To the BARON.) It is is only some small peccadillo. Let us knock, and see what it means.

GIA. (Aside) And if they get in, I will follow.

BARON No! Stay. No more! I will not expose myself to fresh insults. I should never have

trusted you and your ridiculous pretensions. You have made me a fool, a gull, a ninny.

And my honour demands what honour always demands - satisfaction.

COUNT Well of course, Baron. You must. But from whom?

BARON Do you make game of me, sir? I demand satisfaction from you.

COUNT From me?


41

BARON With swords.

COUNT I haven’t touched a sword in twenty years.

BARON. With pistols, then.

COUNT. Yes, pistols. I’ll go and them. I’ll be back tomorrow. (Starts to go.)

BARON. Don’t you move. I have pistols right here. One for you and one for me. (He takes two

pistols from his pockets.) Ten paces. On my mark. One, two, three...

GIA. (Running into her house.) Pistols! Help! Somebody! They are going to murder each

other !

ACT SECOND.

SCENE XI

Enter GELTRUDE on the balcony.

GEL. Gentlemen, what does this mean?

BARON. Do not interrupt Madam. This is a matter of honour.

COUNT. Just tell us quickly, on my life, why did you shut the door in our faces?

GEL. I beg your pardon. I am not capable of such rudeness; and especially not to you, Baron,

who has confered on me the great honour of asking for my niece’s hand.

COUNT. (To the BARON.) Did you hear?

BARON. But, my dear Signora, in the very moment that we were entering your house, the door

was slammed in our faces!

GEL. I assure you that I didn't see you at all, and shut the door to prevent that horrible

Giannina from coming in.

GIA. Who are you calling horrible?


42

COUNT. (To GIANNINA.) Hold your tongue, baggage. You see what trouble you have caused?

You are an impertinent toad.

GIANNINA exits to her house.

GEL. Gentleman, I thank you for your kindness and if you will attend a moment, I will send the

servant to admit you.

She exits.

COUNT. (To BARON.) Well?

BARON. I have nothing to say.

COUNT. And what am I to do with this pistol?

BARON. Sir, I beg that you will forgive a soldier’s honour. (Puts the pistols in his pocket.)

COUNT. Are you going to present yourself to those ladies with pistols in your pockets?

BARON. You are quite right. And as I sign of my friendship, I give them to you. (he offers the

guns) I hope you will not refuse them?

COUNT. I will take them, because they come from you. Are they loaded?

BARON. What a question! Do you suppose that I would carry unloaded pistols?

COUNT. Of course. Ho, there, in the cafe!

LIMONATO ENTERS

LIM. Sir?

COUNT. Take and keep these pistols.

LIM. (Taking pistols) Very good, sir.

COUNT. And mind, they are loaded.

LIM. (Flourishing the pistols) Oh, I know how to handle pistols.

COUNT. (Timidly) I say there, don't act like a fool!


43

LIM. Our Count is a brave man!

LIMONATO exits.

COUNT. (To BARON) I thank you, Baron. I will treasure your gift always. (Aside) I will sell them

in the morning.

MOR. (From the villa) Gentlemen, my mistress awaits.

COUNT. Well, what do you say now? The door is open.

BARON. Let us go in.

COUNT. Yes, but is it not well? Has the business not been brought to a pleasing end? Is not, my

dear friend, the protection of an aristocrat worth something after all?

They enter the villa. GIANNINA, from her house, follows

them. MORACCHIO prevents her.

MOR. Not so fast.

GIA. Oh please. Not you too.

MOR. I am ordered to keep you out.

GIA. They have insulted my honour. Protect me.

MOR. I’ll worry about my honour. You worry about yours.

He exits closing the door.

GIA. (Aside) I am so frustrated I think I will explode. Such insults to me, a hard working,

honest, respectable girl! I want a revolution.

ACT SECOND.

SCENE XII.

Enter EVARISTO.


44

EVA. Not a soul on the balcony. She must be at dinner. (Seeing GIANNINA) Giannina?

GIA. What? Oh. Sir.

EVARISTO. Do you have anything to tell me?

GIA. Oh, yes, I have a lot to tell you!

EVA. Have you given her the fan?

GIA. Here is your miserable fan!

EVA. What does this mean? Could you not give it to her?

GIA. I have received a thousand insults, a thousand impertinences. They drove me out of the

house like a dog.

EVA. What did you do?

GIA. Me? I have not done nothing, sir.

EVA. Did you tell her the fan was from me?

GIA. How could I tell her when they slammed the door in my face?

EVA. But there must have been a reason.

GIA. I only know that I have done nothing wrong and I have received all this bad treatment on

your account.

EVA. On my account? When Candida loves me so!

GIA. Does Signora Candida loves you so?

EVA. There is no doubt.

GIA. Oh yes, there is no doubt she loves you dearly, very, very dearly. Why, certainly!

EVA. You fill me with agitation.

GIA. Go, go and find your ladylove! Go and find your sweetheart!


45

EVA. Why should I not go?

GIA. Because you place is taken.

EVA. Taken?

GIA. By the Baron del Cedro.

EVA. Is the Baron in that house?

GIA. Why should he not be in the house, when he is going to marry Signora Candida?

EVA. Giannina, you are crazy, you are dreaming, you are saying impossible things.

GIA. Go and see for yourself? You’ll soon find out if I'm telling you the truth.

EVA. In that house?

GIA. Yes..

EVA. The Baron?

GIA. del Cedro.

EVA. Betrothed to Signora Candida?

GIA. I saw it with these eyes. I heard it with these ears.

EVA. It is impossible. You are deceived.

GIA. Then go. Look. You’ll see who has been deceived!

EVA. I will go at once.

Runs to villa and knocks. MORACCHIO opens the door.

EVA. Moracchio! Let me in.

MOR. Pardon me sir, I cannot.

EVA. Cannot? How can you say such a thing? You are my servant.


46

MOR. Yes sir, but with respect, I am everyone’s servant.

EVA. You dog. Tell them it is I!

MOR. It wouldn’t make any difference.

EVA. Is Signora Candida there?

MOR. Yes sir.

EVA. So it is Signora Geltrude who refuses me.

MOR. No sir. Signora Geltrude wants you to come in, but Signora Candida refuses. She is

celebrating her betrothal.

EVA. By Heaven, I will enter!

Tries to force his way in. MORACCHIO shuts the door in his

face.

GIA. Still think I’m dreaming?

EVA. This is too much. I am reeling.

GIA. Now you know ho wit feels.

EVA. Do you think it possible that Candida has been deceiving me?

GIA. She’s going to marry the Baron!

EVA. I cannot believe it. I will never believe it.

GIA. How can you not believe the door, the slam, the face?

EVA. Because I know Candida's heart. There must be some mistake, some misunderstanding.

If only I could speak with her.

GIA. Her door is shut, locked, guarded.

EVA. I will go into the garden of the cafe. From there I can see the villa. One gesture, one

look will be enough to tell me if it is life or death.


47

ACT SECOND.

SCENE XIII.

Enter CORONATO who listens to the conversation.

GIA. Wait. Take the fan.

EVA. Keep it. It has no meaning to me now.

GIA. You’re giving me the fan?

EVA. Yes, I beg you keep it. (aside) I can’t contain myself. I must love or die.

GIA. Well in that case, thanks.

COR. (Aside) Aha! Now I see what the present is. A fan!

He exits into inn without being seen.

EVA. But what if Candida doesn't happen to come to her window? Or if she comes, what if

she refuses to listen to me? If that happens I don’t know what I will do.

SCENE XIV.

Enter CRESPINO, carrying a large bag full of leather and shoes;

while going toward his shop he stops to listen.

GIA. Poor Signor Evaristo. I am so sorry for you.

EVA. Indeed, Giannina, I am worthy of your pity.

GIA. You are so kind, so gentle, so polite!

EVA. You know my heart; you know my love!

CRES. (Aside) I’m glad I got here for this.

GIA. I wish I knew a way to comfort you.


48

CRES. (Aside) Oh no.

EVA. You are kind, Giannina, but I alone must challenge my fate. I will not allow myself to be

reproved for not having tried to make it right again. I will go into the cafe. I go in fear and

trembling. May your love and good wishes go with me.

He shakes her hand.

GIA. One minute he makes me an idiot, and then he’s so sweet.

CRESPINO takes shoes and leather from bag, and begins to

work.

GIA. Crespino ! Where have you been?

CRES. I went to buy some leather.

GIA. You never do anything but mend old shoes. And people say... well you know what people say.

CRES. (Working.) Yes I do know what people say.

GIA. I just don’t want to be called the cobbler's wife. I like the sound of Crespino the shoemaker.

CRES. Oh yeah. And when will all this happen?

GIA. When I marry you.

CRES. Huh.

GIA. Huh? What do you mean by "huh"?

CRES. I mean that Signora Giannina will not be a cobbler's wife or a shoemaker's wife, because she has

other ideas, grand and magnificent ideas.

GIA. Are you crazy or drunk?

CRES. I’m not crazy and I’m not drunk and I’m not deaf or blind.

GIA. What are you talking about?

CRES. You want me to spell it out? Alright. I heard your fine words with Signor Evaristo.


49

GIA. So?

CRES. (Imitating EVARISTO) " You know my heart; you know my love!”

GIA. (Laughing) Good heavens!

CRES. (Imitating GIANNINA.) " I wish I knew a way to comfort you.”

GIA. You’ve got it wrong.

CRES. (Imitating EVARISTO.) "You must continue to love me and be kind to me."

GIA. You’re stupid..

CRES. Me? Stupid?

GIA. Yes, you, stupid, double stupid and then extra stupid.

CRES. Corpo del diavolo ! Didn’t I see with these eyes and hear with these ears his tender longing?

GIA. Stupid.

CRES. And your gentle replies?

GIA. Completely stupid.

CRES. (Threatening her.) Giannina, if you keep calling me stupid, with Heaven as my witness, I will do

something stupid.

GIA. Abbastanza! Do you really think Signor Evaristo is in love with me?

CRES. He might be.

GIA. And that I am stupid enough to care about him?

CRES. There I’m not so sure.

GIA. Crespino, Signor Evaristo is in love with Signora Candida, but Signora Candida has deceived him.

She is going to marry the Baron del Cedro. So Signor Evaristo, all in despair, tears out his heart

and throws it in my lap. What could I do? I tried to comfort him. Now do you see I am

innocent?


50

CRES. Maybe.

GIA. Then go to the devil. Coronato wants to marry me, my brother has agreed, the Count is begging

me so I think I will!

CRES. Easy, easy, don't lose your temper. How can I be sure that you are speaking the truth, and

there is nothing between you and Signor Evaristo?

GIA. And you don't want me to call you stupid? My dear little Crespino, do I not love you? Do I not

love you with my heart and soul?

CRES. (Gently.} What did Signor Evaristo give you?

GIA. Nothing.

CRES. Nothing? Are you sure? Really nothing?

GIA. When I say nothing, I mean it. (Aside) I don't want him to know about the fan. He’s suspicious

enough already.

CRES. How can I be sure?

GIA. Come on. No more questions.

CRES. Do you really love me?

GIA. Of course.

CRES. (Taking her hand) Then let us make peace.

GIA. (Laughing) Just make peace?

CRES. (aside) I love this girl.

SCENE XV.

Enter CORONATO from the inn.

COR. Do you know, I found out about Giannina’s present.


51

GIA. That’s none of your business.

CRES. Did she get a present?

COR. From Signor Evaristo. And I know what the present is.

GIA. Whatever it is, it’s none of your business. I love Crespino and I am going to be his wife.

CRES. (To CORONATO) So what was the present ?

COR. A fan.

CRES. (Angrily to GIANNINA) He gave you a fan?

GIA. (aside) I wish I was dead.

CRES. Did he?

GIA. No.

COR. It’s in her pocket right now.

CRES. Show me the fan.

GIA. No!

COR. I know the way to deal with this.

GIA. Ah! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

SCENE XVI.

Enter MORACCHIO.

MOR. What's going on here?

GIA. Brother, protect me.

COR. Your sister was given a fan and it’s in her pocket but she says it isn’t.


52

MOR. Give me the fan!

GIA. You brute.

MOR. (Threatening) Give me that fan, or I swear by Heaven ....

GIA. (Showing the fan) Alright, there it is.

CRES. (Trying to take it) Give it to me!

COR. (Trying to take it) I want it.

GIA. Leave me alone!

MOR. Me! Give it to me I tell you!

GIA. Alright! I give it to Crespino.

GIANNINA gives the fan to CRESPINO and runs away.

COR. &

MOR. (To CRESPINO.) Give it to me!

Crespino runs off, the others follow.

SCENE XVII.

Enter COUNT on balcony of palace.

COUNT. (Shouting) Ho there! Signor Timoteo!

Enter TIMOTEO.

TIM. What do you want?

COUNT. Quick! Bring some restoratives, bring some salts. Signora Candida has fainted!

TIM. I will come at once.

He exits into shop.


53

COUNT. What the devil happened? She went to the window, looked out and fell like a stone. There

must be poisonous trees in that garden.

He exits

CRESPINO runs across the stage, followed by CORONATO and

MORACCHIO. Enter BARON from palace.

BARON. Hurry up, Signor Timoteo.

Enter TIMOTEO from shop, carrying tray with several bottles.

TIM. Here I come, here I come !

BARON. Come quickly, they need you.

TIM. Coming, coming.

CRESPINO, CORONATO and MORACCHIO run across the stage

as before and knock into TIMOTEO. The action moves into

slow motion. Timoteo’s bottles fly off his tray into the air. At

the same time, the fan is knocked out of CRESPINO’S hand and

into the air with the others grasping for it. The fan falls. They

fall in a heap with Crespino on the bottom. Timoteo’s bottles

miraculously land back on the tray. Slow motions ends.

TIM. May the saints be praised!

Exit TIMOTEO into the villa.

COR. (pulling out the fan) Here it is, here it is! I've got it!

MOR. Good for you Master. You keep it the fan and I will go and make Giannina tell me who gave it to

her.

Exit into house.

COR. (to Cresp.) I have the fan.

Exit into inn.


54

CRES. A plague on both your houses. Santa Maria, They have crushed me. And that Coronato... I

would give six pairs of boots to get it back so I could break it into bits. But why should I break it?

Just because some handsome, young, rich gentleman gave it to my Giannina as a present?

Actually, that’s a very good reason to break it. But I won’t. That would be stupid. I love

Giannina and I will not give her up without a fight. After I have a drink. (he walks away and

then looks back) You might as well have one too.

Exit into his shop, limping.

INTERMISSION


55

ACT THIRD.

SCENE I.

Enter GIANNINA from her house; she puts laundry on the line.

Enter CRESPINO from his shop, with bread and cheese on a

plate, and a wine bottle/decanter. He sits on sits on his bench

and drains the wine bottle. Enter CORONATO from inn,

followed by MORACCHIO, who carries a barrel on his shoulder

as before. They pass in front of CRESPINO and laugh. Exeunt

CORONATO and MORACCHIO.

CRESPINO, drinks but his bottle is empty. He slowly and sadly

goes into Inn.

Timoteo enters from the villa and speaks to Giannina.

TIM. I will never go into that house again. Is it my fault the salts did not revive her? They expect all

the luxuries of the city. They want tinctures, essences, quintessence’s... But do these cures cure

anything? No. There are only three cardinal cures in medical science – quinine, Peruvian bark

and sharp knife to a hot vein.

He exits.

I will never go in there again!

Enter CRESPINO from inn, with his decanter full of wine;

laughing, he displays the fan, which he holds under his jacket;

sits on his bench, hides the fan under a pile of leather, puts the

decanter on the ground beside him, and begins to eat.

Enter CORONATO; he passes in front of CRESPINO, laughs, and

goes into inn, turning at the door to look once more at

CRESPINO, who then looks at the fan, laughs, and continues

eating.

Enter COUNT and BARON from palace.


56

COUNT. No, my dear friend, let me assure you. There is nothing to complain of.

BARON. And let me assure you, that I am not satisfied.

COUNT. How can you be offended? It was an accident. Women are frequently the subject of

such humours which result in fainting, monthly irritations and other sterile affections.

BARON. Sterile affections? Don’t you mean hysterical affectations?

COUNT. Yes, yes, quite. Hysterical. Quite hysterical. (he laughs)

BARON. But she was perfectly fine when we entered; it was only when she saw me that she

withdrew into her room.

COUNT. What of that? She has humours. Baron, you must humour her humours. (he laughs)

BARON. But that’s not all. Did you notice the intense look of interest that Signora Geltrude paid

to the letters she found in her niece’s room?

COUNT. I did. I assumed they were requests for payment. I get quite the same intense look

when -

BARON. They were not requests for payment. They were ‘billet doux’.

COUNT. Bill-it ducks?

BARON. Love letters, you fool, love letters that she found in the girl’s room, or on her table or in

her corsets.

COUNT. Baron. You must reign in your imagination.

BARON. I am imagining only what may be. I have long suspected a secret understanding

between Signora Candida and Evaristo.

COUNT. But that is impossible. If it were so, I should know. There is nothing in this village that I

do not know. Not a whisper, not a moan and certainly not a ‘billit dux’. And besides,

why would Signora Candida have accepted your proposal - a proposal, which I, a

nobleman, proposed - if her affections were elsewhere?

BARON. But perhaps because you were proposing the match, she felt, against her will,

compelled to accept it. Which would also explain why Signora Geltrude no longer was

welcoming after she read those letters.


57

COUNT. No, no, no. Baron, hear me – as comrades, as colleagues, as members of the upper class

- the only thing in this affair to which you can have any complaint is that Signora

Geltrude did not invite us to dinner. I threw out several hints but -

BARON. Who cares about dinner?

COUNT I believe it is customary at this time to dine, is it not?

Baron I have already ordered dinner for two at the Inn.

COUNT. Ah. For two you say.

BARON. I am waiting for Evaristo to return from hunting.

COUNT. Ah. Why don’t you dine at my palace? It’s not far. Only a few miles up the hill.

BARON. Thank you kindly, but my dinner is already ordered. Hey, there. Coronato !

SCENE II.

Enter CORONATO.

COR. At your service, sir.

BARON. Has Signor Evaristo returned from hunting?

COR. No sir, and your dinner is ready.

BARON. Ah.

COUNT. He might stay out in the woods until dark.

BARON. But I promised to wait for him.

COUNT. My dear friend, is it wise to wait for a man whose social position is inferior to yours?

Oh, I admit there is a case for politeness, for courtesy. Who adheres to these values

more than me? But I would never forget the respect that is due my position. I would

consider it an offense to my honour.


58

BARON. Would you consider taking Evaristo's place?

COUNT. I hope you don’t think I put myself forward.

BARON. Never in life.

COUNT. Well, if you don't want to wait, if you dislike eating alone... if you insist.

BARON. I insist.

COUNT. There’s always my villa. Just a few miles up the hill.

BARON. My dear Count, please do me the pleasure.

COUNT. And Evaristo?

BARON. If he comes, I’ll tell him he’s too late.

COUNT. It will teach him some manners.

BARON. Coronato!

CORONATO Sir.

BARON Have the dinner served.

The Baron exits.

COR. At once. (Aside) Now there won’t be anything left over for me.

COUNT. Did you deliver the other barrel of wine?

COR. Yes, sir, I went with Moracchio until I met your man.

COUNT. My steward?

COR. No, sir.

COUNT. My footman?

COR. No, sir.


59

COUNT. My valet?

COR. No, sir.

COUNT. Who was it, then ?

COR. Your porter.

COUNT. My porter! (Aside) The devil. He’s probably drunk half the barrel!

COR. Your Excellency?

COUNT. What?

COR. Did you speak to Giannina for me?

COUNT. Of course. Did I not say I would?

COR. And...?

COUNT. And...? It went well. It went exceedingly well.

COR. But what did she say?

COUNT. Not now, sir. Can’t you see? I am keeping the Baron waiting.

The Count exits.

COR. So. It went exceedingly well. Perhaps I really have hope. Giannina!

GIANNINA does not reply.

COR. You might at least say hello.

GIA. (Without looking at him.) And you might at least give me back my fan.

COR. Oh yes, the fan. (Aside) I left it in the wine cellar. (To GIANNINA.) We must talk about

the fan.


60

He exits into the Inn past CRESPINO who laughs. Enter

SUSANNA from her shop; she arranges her wares, sits

and begins to work.

SUS. You seem very pleased with yourself, Signor Crespino.

CRES. I am pleased because I have good reason to be pleased.

GIA. That’s great. You’re happy and I’m bursting with rage.

CRES. What are you raging about?

GIA. Coronato has my fan.

CRES. (Laughing.) Oh, yes. He has your fan. Ha! ha!

Crespino exits laughing into his shop.

GIA. You laugh like a fool!

SUS. (Working) I didn't expect my fan would pass through so many hands.

GIA. (Sharply) Your fan!

SUS. Yes, "my fan" because it came out of “my” shop.

GIA. You were paid for it, weren’t you?

SUS. Of course.

GIA. Probably twice what it was worth.

SUS. That’s not true; and even if it was it certainly cost you nothing. At least, I think it cost you

nothing.

GIA. How could it cost me anything? It was a gift.

SUS. I’m sure I don’t know but when people give gifts sometimes they expect something in return.

Particularly gentleman.

GIA. (Angrily) I’ll give you something in return.


61

SUS. Don't think you can frighten me. Peasant.

GIA. (attacking with her stick) Ahhh!

CRESPINO enters

CRES. (Entering from shop) So. More fighting? More temper?

GIA. (Aside) You see the abuse I put up with? And I’ve done nothing!

SUS. She’s always angry but she never tells you why.

CRES. Are you angry, Giannina?

GIA. Me? Angry? I never get angry.

SUS. (Sarcastically) Oh no. She’s the olive branch. She’s the dove of peace. She never loses her

temper.

GIA. I never get angry except when I’m kicked, insulted and treated like dirt.

Giannina chases Susanna who exits.

CRES. (aside) A tiny village square with only seven doors and you can’t get a moment's peace. Here

comes Signora Geltrude.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE III.

Enter GELTRUDE from palace.

GEL. (In a serious tone, to GIANNINA) Giannina, has your brother come back?

GIA. Yes, madam.

GEL. Has Signor Evaristo come back also?

GIA. Yes, madam.


62

GEL. Do you know where Signor Evaristo is?

GIA. I don't know anything! By your leave.

GIANNINA exits.

GEL. What manners! (She calls) Crespino!

CRES. Signora?

GEL. Do you know where Signor Evaristo is ?

CRES. No, Signora.

GEL. Will you be good enough to go and see if he is in the inn?

CRES. With pleasure.

He exits into the Inn.

GEL. (to Susanna) Susanna, do you know anything about Signor Evaristo?

SUS. Oh, my dear lady, I would have to inquire of myself, “where do I start?”

GEL. Heavens! I, too, have seen things, certain letters, that astonish me. But please, speak, I beg of

you.

SUS. But here? In public? Surrounded by prattling busybodies? Shall I come to your house?

GEL. I must see Signor Evaristo first.

SUS. Or you could come to mine.

GEL. That would be better.

SUS. Here is Crespino.

Enter CRESPINO.

GEL. Well?


63

CRES. He is not there, Signora; they expected him for dinner, but he did not come.

GEL. And yet he must have come back from his hunt.

CRES. He has. I saw him.

GEL. Look for him, Crespino. The village is not large.

CRES. I will go immediately.

GEL. And if you find him, say that I wish to speak with him and will await him at Susanna’s.

CRESP. At your service.

GEL. Now. Please. I am impatient to hear your news.

SUS. And a fine tale it makes too.

Exeunt GELTRUDE and SUSANNA.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE IV.

Enter LEMONADO, as CRESPINO is about to go.

CRES. I say, can you tell me where Signor Evaristo is?

LEM. How should I know? Am I his servant?

CRES. I simply thought he might be in your cafe.

LEM. If he were there, you would have seen him.

CRES. The deuce take you, Lemonado!

LEM. Who are you calling Lemonado?

CRES. Bah! I can’t wait for you to have a hole in your shoe.


64

CRESP. exits

LEM. (calling after) Like the one you have in your head. (aside) What a fool he is! Shall I tell him that

Signor Evaristo is in my garden? Why? Now that he’s happy, he doesn’t want to be disturbed.

(Calling.) Ho there, in the Inn.

COR. (At the door.) What is it?

LEM. Signor Evaristo sends his compliments to the Baron and says he will be unable to come to

dinner.

COR. His message is too late. The Baron is almost finished and he’s eating every crumb.

LEM. Very good. I will tell him... wherever he is.

COR. One moment. Have you heard anything from anyone about a lost fan ?

LEM. No.

COR. If you hear anything, would you let me know?

LEM. I will. Have you lost one?

COR. Yes. I left it on a wine barrel in the cellar and now it’s gone.

LEM. Perhaps someone came for wine, saw the fan and took it.

COR. Exactly what I think. And if I find that man...

COR. Exits.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE V.

Enter COUNT from the inn.

COUNT. Is that Lemonado's voice I hear?

LEM. Yes, sir.


65

COUNT. Bring two good cups of coffee.

LEM. For whom, sir?

COUNT. For me. Who else.

LEM. Both of them for you?

COUNT. No, no, no. One for me, and one for the Baron del Cedro.

LEM. Ah. Certainly, sir.

COUNT. Swiftly now, swiftly. Fresh and hot.

The COUNT exits.

LEM. (aside) Because the Baron is there, I will serve.

GIA. (At her door) Hey, Lemonado !

LEM. Are you also insulting me with that name of Lemonado?

GIA. That’s not insulting. If I called you turnip nose or pumpkin head or tomato brain, that would be

insulting.

LEM. Have you finished?

GIA. Tell me. Is Signor Evaristo still there?

LEM. Where?

GIA. In the cafe.

LEM. My cafe?

GIA. Yes, your cafe!

LEM. The cafe is right here. If he was here, you would see him.

GIA. Please don’t do that.

LEM. What?


66

GIA. Treat me like an idiot.

LEM. You are a crazy woman.

GIA. Wait. Please. Just tell me if Signor Evaristo is in your garden.

LEM. How would I know?

LEM. exits

GIA. You see? And people think I am bad tempered. They all tease me and treat me badly. Those

ladies over there, this silly Susanna here, Moracchio, Coronato, The Count, Crespino .... may

they all go to the devil!

ACT THIRD.

SCENE VI.

Enter EVARISTO from cafe.

EVA. Giannina, there you are. I am in an ecstasy of pure joy!

GIA. Really?

EVA. Yes.

GIA. What brings that on?

EVA. Simply that I am the happiest man in the world !

GIA. Hurrah. Does that mean you will give me satisfaction for all the insults I have endured?

EVA. Yes, yes, anything you like. And that is all because you were under suspicion. Signora Candida

found out that I had given you the fan. She thought I had bought it for you. She was jealous of

me, and jealous of you.

GIA. She was jealous?

EVA. Well, yes.


67

GIA. Of me?

EVA. Giannina. I gave you a fan.

GIA. (Speaking toward villa) And for that... she... (shaking her fist at the villa) Fury take you!

EVA. Giannina....

GIA. A plague take you!

EVA. Giannina! She was going to marry another man out of anger, revenge and despair; but when

she saw me through the window, she swooned. After that, I was not able to see her for some

time ; but finally, through good fortune, her aunt went out of the house, and Candida came into

the garden. I broke through the hedge, climbed over the wall, threw myself at her feet, wept,

begged, implored, and at last conquered. She is mine! She is mine! There is no more to fear.

GIA. I am very glad to hear it. She will be yours, forever your, always yours. I rejoice, I delight... I

cavort.

EVA. And all that remains between me and this complete happiness is the one, small, utterly

reasonable condition that she has imposed.

GIA. Condition?

EVA. To justify myself, and to justify you at the same time, as well as to give her a reasonable

satisfaction, she asks that I give her the fan.

GIA. (Aside) I am cursed.

EVA. Giannina, my honour and yours are at stake. If I cannot give her the fan, it will give credit to her

suspicions. I know that I gave it to you but I also know that you are kind. Please give me the

fan.

GIA. (Embarrassed) Sir, I no longer have it.

EVA. (Excited) Giannina, my life and your reputation are at stake.

GIA. I swear on my word of honour, with any other oath you like, I no longer have the fan.

EVA. Heavens! What have you done with it ?


68

GIA. I have done nothing. They fell on me like three angry dogs and took it away.

EVA. Who did?

GIA. My brother ....

EVA. Moracchio!

GIA. No, stop ; Moracchio didn't get the fan.

EVA. Who then?

GIA. I gave it to Crespino.

EVA. Crespino!

GIA. Come here, listen.

EVA. I am beside myself.

GIA. Crespino doesn’t have it anymore.

EVA. Then, who has? Quick! Tell me.

GIA. That wretch Coronato.

EVA. (Running toward the inn) Coronato! Here to me. Coronato !

COR. (Appearing at door) Sir?

EVA. Give me the fan !

COR. What fan?

GIA. The one you took from me.

EVA. Come, quickly, man, quickly.

COR. I am terribly sorry, Sir, but ....

EVA. But what?


69

COR. The fan cannot be found.

EVA. What are you saying? How can it not be found?

COR. Someone has taken it.

EVA. Someone? Ah. I see. Well would twenty ducats help this ‘someone’ remember where they put

it?

COR. I ‘m sorry, sir, there’s nothing I can do.

COR. exits

EVA. “Swallow me, oh earth, and send me down, down to burning canyons.” I am undone.

Gia. Oh sir...

EVA. And it is you. You who is my ruination.

GIA. Me? (aside) Do you see this?

ACT THIRD.

SCENE VII.

Enter CANDIDA on balcony.

CAN. Signor Evaristo!

EVA. She comes and I am in despair.

GIA. Nonsense! The world will not come to an end over a fan.

CAN. Signor Evaristo!

EVA. Ah, my beloved Candida, I am the most unhappy man in the world.

CAN. Ah, is it because you do not have the fan?

EVA. What an unfortunate combination of circumstances! The fan has been lost, never to be found.


70

CAN. Oh, I know where it is.

EVA. Oh! If you could help me to find it ....

CAN. The fan is in the hands of the one to whom you gave it.

GIA. That’s not true!

EVA. Be quiet.

CAN. And she, of course, does not wish to return it because she knows it was given in love.

EVA. That’s not true! I swear on my word of honour ....

CAN. Be quiet. I have heard enough and I have made up my mind. But I must say, sir, that I am

surprised to find myself less worthy than this rustic.

CAN. Exits.

GIA. Rustic? Did she call me a rustic?

EVA. (To GIANNINA) As Heaven is my witness, you are the cause of my death.

GIA. Oh, pull yourself together.

EVA. I will most certainly. If she has made up her mind, so have I. I will await my rival and attack him

with my sword. ‘Mano a mano’ to the death.

GIA. (Going slowly toward her house) I think I had better go home.

EVA. What’s happening? I can scarcely breathe. My eyes grow dim. My heart is crushed with grief.

Who will help me? (He sinks into a chair)

GIA. What is it? Is he dying? Poor gentleman! He is dying. Help! Somebody come!

Moracchio. Ho, the cafe!

ACT THIRD.

SCENE VIII.


71

Enter LEMONADO two cups of coffee, going toward the inn;

MORACCHIO from his house, CRESPINO and TIMOTEO.

CRES. Signor Evaristo. What happened to him ?

GIA. (To LEMONADO) Get some water.

CRES. I’ll get some wine. (Exit to shop)

LEM. Give him some wine. I must carry this coffee to the inn. (Exit)

MOR. Courage, courage, Signor Evaristo. It is time to go hunting.

GIA. Yes, talk to him about hunting.

TIM. What is the matter?

MOR. Come here, Signor Timoteo.

GIA. Do something for this poor gentleman.

TIM. What is the matter with him?

GIA. He is in a faint.

TIM. I must bleed him.

MOR. Do you know how?

TIM. In an emergency, I can do anything.

He exits.

GIA. Poor Signor Evaristo! He will die being saved.

Enter CRESPINO with a bottle of wine.

CRES. Here, this will revive him.

GIA. He’s coming to his senses.


72

CRES. Didn’t I say? It’s five years old. This would bring the dead to life.

MOR. Courage, master, courage, brace yourself.

Enter TIMOTEO with a glass, towel, and razor.

TIM. Quick! Roll up his sleeve.

MOR. Why do you need a razor?

TIM. In an emergency it does better than a lancet.

CRES. A razor?

GIA. A razor?

EVA. (Pathetically.') Who wants to assassinate me with a razor?

ALL. Signor Timoteo!

TIM. I am an honest man. And when a man does the best he can, no one should criticize. Assassinate

indeed. The next time you call me, let’s see if I come.

He exits.

MOR. Will you come to my house, Signor Evaristo?

EVA. Your house?

MOR. You can rest on my bed.

EVA. I have no will.

MOR. Lean on my arm.

EVA. I will go; But I go with the hope that my miserable life will end. (Walks, leaning on MORACCHIO)

GIA. If he wants to die he should call back the apothecary.

MOR. Giannina, come and fix the bed for Signor Evaristo.


73

Exeunt EVARISTO and MORACCHIO into house; GIANNINA

starts to follow.

CRES. Giannina!

GIA. What is it?

CRES. You seem very attached to this gentleman.

GIA. I’m sorry for him. And you should be too. We are the cause of all his trouble.

CRES. I don't know about you, but what trouble have I caused?

GIA. Through that cursed fan.

She exits.

CRES. (aside) Cursed? I never thought of that. She might be right. Look what it’s done to everyone.

Still, I am glad Coronato doesn’t have it. Until I am safely married to Giannina, he is my enemy.

Still, I am not sure I want to keep it either. But who do I give it too?

Enter from Inn LEMONADO with empty cups, and COUNT, who

walks about with the air of a man who has dined well.

CRES. (aside) Who else?

COUNT. Ah, good-day to you, Crespino.

CRES. Your illustrious lordship's humble servant.

COUNT. Are my shoes mended?

CRES. They will be done to-morrow.

He shows the fan.

COUNT. What have you there?

CRES. (passing the fan) Something that I found on the ground near the inn.

COUNT. Someone going by must have dropped it.

CRES. Yes. I am not sure what to do with it.


74

COUNT. Do you wish to sell it?

CRES. I hadn’t thought of that. Do you think it’s valuable?

COUNT. I have no idea. I am not an expert in these matters.

CRES. I should be glad if it was valuable because then it would give me more pleasure when I

presented it to you.

COUNT. To me? You wish to present it to me?

CRES. But if it’s not valuable.

COUNT. Oh it is. I’m sure it is. It is very pretty. I am much obliged. (Aside) It will make a fine

present to someone. (aloud) And if the occasion arises, you may count on my

protection.

CRES. But I beg only one favour.

COUNT. (Aside) I knew it! This class of people never give anything for nothing. (To CRESPINO)

What do you want? Speak.

CRES. I beg you to tell no one that I gave it to you.

COUNT. That’s all?

CRES. That all.

COUNT. (Aside) That’s not so bad. (To CRESPINO) But why do you not wish it known that I

received it from you? Did you steal it?

CRES. Sir, I am not capable of such a thing.

COUNT. But if you found it, and if the owner does not ask for it, I see no reason for subterfuge.

CRES. And yet there is a reason.

COUNT. Which is?

CRES. I have a sweetheart.


75

COUNT. Ah! The lovely Giannina.

CRES. If she found out that I had given the fan to you and not her...

COUNT. Ah! You are right not to give it to her. What would a peasant girl like her do with a fan?

(Putting it in his pocket) Do not fear. I will keep your confidence. But, now, how goes

your affair with Giannina? Do you still want to marry her?

CRES. I truth, I must confess my weakness, I want her as my wife.

COUNT. In that case, you shall marry her at once. This very evening, if you like.

CRES. You can do that?

COUNT. Of course. Do you know who I am? Do you know what my protection means ?

CRES. But what about Coronato?

COUNT. Coronato. Who is Coronato? Think of Giannina. Does she love you?

CRES. Most of the time.

COUNT. Very well, then. You are loved, Coronato is not. The rest is my protection.

CRES. And what about her brother?

COUNT. What is a brother when the sister is satisfied. Depend on my protection.

CRES. Your Excellency, I am grateful for your kindness.

COUNT. No. Say only that you are grateful for my protection. Now get back to work.

CRES. To finish mending your boots.

COUNT. Not so loud. I really need a new pair.

CRES. You shall have them.

COUNT. And for which I will pay. You must suppose I sell my protection.

CRES. Never, your Honour. Certainly not for a pair of boots.


76

COUNT. Very well. Back to your work.

CRES. Certainly, sir. (Aside) Cospetto di Bacco! I forget Signora Geltrude sent me to find Signor

Evaristo. I must tell her that he is in Giannina's house.

He exits to SUSANNA'S shop.

COUNT. Here is a fan. How much is it worth? Seven or eight crowns at the most. I might give it

to Signora Candida.

Enter Giannina

GIA. Where has Crespino gone?

COUNT. Well why not? It’s not so bad.

GIA. Look at that! The fan in the hands of the Count! Quick, I must wake up Signor Evaristo.

She exits. The Baron enters from the Inn.

COUNT. Why not. A gift is never refused.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE IX.

BARON. My friend, you deserted me.

COUNT. Forgive me, Baron. It seemed you were not in the mood to talk.

BARON. You speak true. I am not reconciled to my fate. Tell me, do you think this would be a

good time to try and see the ladies again?

COUNT. Why not? And here’s a happy thought. I have a present you could give to Candida.

BARON. What kind of present?

COUNT. A fan! She broke hers this morning and here is a new one.

BARON. And you suggest...


77

COUNT. Precisely! You must give it to her. I do not want any credit in the matter. Let all the

glory fall on you.

BARON. I will gladly avail myself of your kindness, but pray tell me how much the fan cost?

COUNT. Why do you want to know that?

BARON. So I can pay your for it.

COUNT. Dear Baron. You astonish me. Did you not give me two fine duelling pistols? Did I not,

just now, enjoy the bounty of your table?

BARON. What can I say? I accept your kindness. (Aside) Where on earth did he get this fan?

COUNT. Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it perfect? In these matters, I know what is required. I know

what will please. I have an entire roomful of little trifles that the ladies adore. But

come, let us lose no time.

He knocks on the door of the villa. MORRACHIO enters.

MOR. What do you wish?

COUNT. Are the ladies receiving?

MOR. Signora Geltrude is not at home, and Signora Candida is resting in her room.

COUNT. Let me know as soon as she is awake.

MOR. Very good.

He exits.

COUNT. Did you hear?

BARON. We must wait. Ah. I have to go to the apothecary. To write a letter. Will you come

with me?

COUNT. I don't like that quack. You go. I will wait here for the servant.

BARON. Very well. When the signal is given, I will come.

COUNT. Trust me. Fear nothing.


78

BARON. (Aside) I have little confidence in him, still less in the aunt, and least of all in the niece.

He exits to the apothecary.

COUNT. And while I wait, I will amuse myself with my book. My precious collection of fables.

He sits and reads.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE X.

EVARISTO enters from GIANNINA’S HOUSE

EVA. (aside) Thank Heavens. He is still alone. I wonder if he still has the fan. (aloud) Count, I

am your servant.

COUNT. (Reading) Your servant.

EVA. May I have a word?

COUNT. (Still reading) Just one moment... I will shortly be with you... What can I do for you?

EVA. Pardon me if I have disturbed you.

COUNT. Not at all, not at all. I will finish the fable another time.

EVA. I should not like to have you call me troublesome.

COUNT. Not at... What are you looking at? Have I some spot about me?

EVA. I beg your pardon, someone told me that you had a fan.

COUNT. (Embarrassed) A fan? Yes, that is true. Did you lose it ?

EVA. Yes, I lost it.

COUNT. But there are plenty of fans in the world. How do you know that this is the one that you

lost?


79

EVA. Will you have the kindness to let me see it ?

COUNT. My dear friend, I am sorry to say the fan is no longer in my hands.

EVA. (Excited) No longer in your hands?

COUNT. I gave it to... a certain person.

EVA. (More and more excited) What person?

COUNT. That is exactly what I would prefer not to tell you.

EVA. Count, I need that fan, and you must tell me who has it.

COUNT. I will do nothing of the sort.

EVA. I swear by Heaven you will tell me!

COUNT. Have you forgotten who you are speaking to?

EVA. I say it and I repeat it. You are not acting like a gentleman.

COUNT. Sir. Do you know I have a pair of loaded pistols in my pocket?

EVA. Damn your pistols. Give me my fan.

COUNT. Alright, alright. Such a fuss over a worthless little fan.

EVA. You have no idea what it is worth to me and what I would give to get it back. I would

give fifty ducats.

COUNT. Fifty ducats?

EVA. If I could find that fan I would gladly give fifty gold ducats.

COUNT. (aside) What have I done?! That fan must have been painted by Raphael or Pannini.

(aloud) I will see what I can do.

EVA. Would the person be willing to give up the fan for fifty ducats?

COUNT. If that person were me, I would be deeply offended.


80

EVA. But perhaps the person who has it will not be offended.

COUNT. The person who has it would be just as offended as I. More offended. And... he has a

sword.

EVA. Then let us arrange it this way. Here is a gold snuff-box, which is worth fifty-four ducats

by weight alone. The workmanship doubles that value. If you get the fan back, I will

gladly give this snuff-box in exchange.

COUNT. Are there diamonds on that fan?

EVA. The fan is of no value. But it is priceless to me.

COUNT. I will see if I can do you this favour.

EVA. I beg you to do so. I shall be under the greatest obligation to you.

COUNT. Wait here. (Aside) I am going to die. (To EVARISTO) I will do everything I can. (aside)

Should I run? (to EVARISTO) So you wish me to give him this snuff-box?

EVA. For the fan? Yes. Give it.

COUNT. (Starting toward the apothecary's) Wait here. But supposing the person gives me back

the fan, and will not take the snuff-box?

EVA. Signor, I have given the snuff-box to you. It is yours. Do with it what you will.

COUNT. Absolutely ?

EVA. Absolutely.

COUNT. (Aside) I feel stronger.

EVA. To regain her confidence I would sacrifice my life, my heart’s blood.

COUNT. Very well. Wait here. (aside) He would never accept fifty ducats but a gold snuff box!

That is a present for a gentleman.

He exits.


81


82

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XI.

CRESPINO. (Entering from SUSANNA'S shop) Signor Evaristo. Signora Geltrude is there, in Susanna's

house, and she begs you be good enough to go in and speak to her.

EVA. Tell Signora Geltrude, with my compliments, that it will be my honour to receive her commands

after having seen someone with whom I have the most urgent, pressing business. When he

comes I will go to her instantly.

CRES. Very good, sir. And how are you feeling?

EVA. Thank Heaven, I am better, Crespino, much, much better.

CRES. I am glad. And Giannina is well ?

EVA. I believe so.

CRES. She is a good girl.

EVA. She is and she loves you.

CRES. I love her, too ; it’s just that...

EVA. What?

CRES. I have heard people saying things.

EVA. About me.

CRES. Yes, sir.

EVA. And me.

CRES. Just so, sir.

EVA. Good Crespino, on my honour as a gentleman, on my word as a man, there is nothing between

Giannina and me.

CRES. Yes sir. I am sure of it.


83

The COUNT enters

EVA. Go to Signora Geltrude. Tell her that I will attend her at once.

CRES. Yes, sir. (To the COUNT, who enters from apothecary's) Don’t forget Giannina.

COUNT. You may depend upon my protection.

CRES. (aside) I hope so.

He exits.

EVA. Well?

COUNT. Here is the fan.

EVA. (Taking it) What infinite joy! And what infinite obligation to you.

COUNT. See if it’s yours.

EVA. It is.

COUNT. And the snuff-box?

EVA. Say no more of it. I am indebted to you.

He exits into Susanna’s.

COUNT. I must become better informed. I thought it was an ordinary fan! But it appears to be

worth... (he looks with a jeweller’s loupe) Stupore! A solid gold snuff box. (Takes some

snuff.) I would have offered it to the Baron but he never would have accepted it. He

was a little vexed when I asked him for the fan, but when I told him I would present it in

his name, he was mollified. I’ll buy another one for a few denari.

CRESPINO enters.

CRES. Signor Count, can you give me some hope?

COUNT. The best of hope. This is my lucky day. All I do succeeds.

CRES. For me as well?


84

COUNT. How can it fail? (Calling) Ho, there. Giannina!

GIA. (off) What do you want?!

COUNT. Such spirit. Such brio. Don’t be angry Giannina. I’ve brought you a husband.

GIA. I don’t want your stupid husband.

CRESP. You see?

COUNT. Wait. (calling) A husband that you’ll like.

GIA. Send him to the devil and go there yourself.

CRESP. We should go.

COUNT. Wait. (calling) His name is Crespino.

GIANNINA enters

GIA. Crespino?!

COUNT. Ah-ha! Do you say “yes, with all my heart”?

GIA. I say yes with all my heart.

COUNT. You see the effect of my protection?

CRES. Yes, sir, I see it.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XII.

MORACCHIO enters

MOR. What’s going on here?

GIA. None of your business.


85

COUNT. Stay, Moracchio. I have persuaded Giannina to marry the person under my protection.

MOR. Oh. Well, sir. I know who that is. (To GIANNINA.) And you better agree.

GIA. I submit most humbly to your authority.

MOR. That’s more like it.

GIA. And give my hand to Crespino.

MOR. What? (to the Count) You promised to use your influence for Coronato.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XIII.

COR. (Entering from inn) Someone called?

MOR. Look what’s happening. The Count wants my sister to marry –

CRES. Me!

COR. Your Excellency. I protest.

COUNT. As a nobleman, I am just. As a protector, I am humane. Coronato, Giannina does not

want you, and I am not going to force her against her will.

GIA. I want Crespino though all the world be against me.

COR. (To MORACCHIO) Well? What are you going to do?

MOR. (To CORONATO) What are you going to do?

COR. I don't care a snap. If she doesn’t want me, she doesn’t deserve me.

GIA. Bravo, Coronato.

COUNT. Behold, the affect of my protection.


86

COR. Signor Count, there is the small matter of the wine.

COUNT. Bring me the bill and I will pay you.

The COUNT takes snuff.

COR. Pay me with wha - Is that a gold snuff box?

COUNT. Why do you sound surprised?

COR. (Aside) He really will pay.

CORONATO exits.

MOR. (To GIANNINA) So you decided to take the matter into your own hands?

GIA. So it seems.

MOR. If you regret it, don’t come to me.

COUNT. She will never regret it; she has my protection.

MOR. From now on, I want bread, not protection.

MORACCHIO exits.

COUNT. Well, then, when shall the wedding be?

CRES. As soon as possible.

GIA. Or even sooner!

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XIV.

THE BARON enters.

BARON. Signor Count, have you given Signora Candida the fan?


87

GIA. (Aside) I thought Signor Evaristo had it.

COUNT. I have not seen Signora Candida. As for the fan, I have others. Indeed, I have decided to

give her a better one. Oh, here comes Signora Geltrude.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XV.

Enter GELTRUDE, EVARISTO and SUSANNA from the shop.

GEL. (To SUSANNA) Be so good as to ask my niece to come down.

SUS. With pleasure.

She knocks at door of palace and is admitted.

GEL. (To EVARISTO) Under the circumstances, I do not want the Count and the Baron in my

house.

COUNT. Signora Geltrude, the Baron and I were just going to call upon you.

GEL. Very kind of you, but this is my hour for walking. I want to stay out of doors for a while.

BARON. So you have come back, Signor Evaristo.

EVA. As you see.

ACT THIRD.

SCENE XVI.

Enter CANDIDA and SUSANNA from palace.

CAN. What do you wish, Aunt?

GEL. Come and take a few steps with me.


88

CAN. (Aside) There is the faithless Evaristo.

GEL. (To CANDIDA) But where is your fan?

CAN. Don't you remember? I broke my fan this morning.

GEL. Oh, yes. If only we could find another.

BARON. (To the COUNT) Now is the time to give her that fan.

COUNT. (To the BARON) Not in public.

GEL. Signor Evaristo, have you a fan, by any chance?

EVA. (Showing the fan) I do. And here it is. With my compliments.

BARON. (To COUNT) Your fan. Out with your fan.

COUNT. (To BARON) Stop poking me.

BARON. (To COUNT) Then bring it out!

COUNT. Not now!

GEL. My niece, will you not accept this token from Signor Evaristo ?

CAN. No, madam, excuse me, I will not.

COUNT. (To BARON) You see, she will not take it.

BARON. (To COUNT) Then give me your fan. Give it to me! Come, give me your fan.

COUNT. (To BARON) Are we going to quarrel over this?

GEL. Might I ask why you refuse the fan?

CAN. (With affectation) Because it is not mine. Because it was never intended for me. To

accept it would diminish my dignity as much as yours.

GEL. Signor Evaristo, can you answer this?

EVA. I will if I am allowed.


89

CAN. (Wishing to go) By your leave.

GEL. Stay here I command you.

BARON. (To COUNT) What does all this mean?

COUNT. I haven't the faintest idea.

EVA Signora Susanna, do you recognize this fan?

SUS. Certainly, sir. It is the one which you bought from me this morning, and which I was

foolish enough to think you intended for Giannina.

GIA. Yes. Foolish.

SUS I admit my mistake.

GIA. Good. Don’t stop.

SUS. But in truth I had some reason, for Signor Evaristo did give it to you.

EVA. (To GIANNINA.) Giannina, why did I give you the fan?

GIA. So I could give it to Signora Candida. But when tried to do so, she flew into a rage and

would not let speak; then I tried to give it back to you, but you would not take it, and so I

gave it to Crespino.

CRES. And I fell down with it, and Coronato took it.

EVA. What did he do with it?

CRES. Sir, since he is not here I will tell you. He left the fan on a barrel in his basement. When

I went down for some wine, I saw it and bore it away.

EVA. What did you do with it then?

CRES. I gave it to the Count.

COUNT. And I gave it to the Baron.

BARON. (Indignantly) Yes, and then took it back again!


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COUNT. Yes, so it could be restored to the hands of Senor Evaristo.

EVA. And I now offer it to Signora Candida with all my heart.

CANDIDA takes the fan with a courtesy, smiling.

BARON. (To COUNT) What is all this? A play? A dumb show? I have been made to look

ridiculous and because of you. All of you!

GEL. Baron!

BARON. (to GEL) And you, Signora, you most of all.

GEL. I beg your pardon. How little you know me. I have not failed in any way. I listened to

your proposal. My niece, in fact, received it favourably, and I agreed to it with pleasure.

COUNT. And that is because I spoke to her.

BARON. (To CANDIDA) Then it is you, Signora. Why did you lead me on? Why did you deceive

me?

CAN. I must ask your forgiveness, sir. I was torn between two passions; revenge gave me to

you but love gave me back to Evaristo.

COUNT. That was beyond my control.

EVA. (To BARON) If you had been a more honest lover, and a more faithful friend, you would

not be in this position.

BARON. It is true. I confess my passion. I admit my weakness. But I despise the friendship and

conduct of the Count.

The BARON exits.

COUNT. He’s joking. Please. Never mind. We are good friends and, as aristocrats, we

understand each other. Come, to the weddings. To the nuptials.

GEL. Let us go in so that everything can be arranged to universal satisfaction. (To CANDIDA)

Are you happy at last to have your fan?

CAN. (Fanning herself) Too happy for words.


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GIA. What an amazing fan. It has turned everything and everyone upside down.

EVA. And right side up..

GEL. Then let us drink to the health of the man who made the Fan and (to the audience) our

humble thanks to those with whom we’ve had the joy to share it.

Music. The upper class characters dance a minuet led by

Candida and Evaristo. The lower class characters dance a reel

led by Crespino and Giannina.

CURTAIN.

THE END

carlo goldoni · the fan by carlo goldoni, adapted by david s. craig v 1.1 3 act first scene i. all...

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