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Chapter Eleven:Chapter Eleven: Interpersonal Relationships: Interpersonal Relationships:

Growth and DeteriorationGrowth and Deterioration

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TheInterpersonal

Communication Book 11th Ed.

TheInterpersonal


Joseph A. DeVitoJoseph A. DeVito

Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 2

Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration

After all, my erstwhile dear,

My no longer cherished.

Need we say it was not love,

Just because it perished?

Edna St. Vincent Millay



RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPTMENT



Relationship DevelopmentRelationship Development

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

Social Penetration Theory

Relationship Dialectics Theory

Rules Theory Mic

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Attraction theoryAttraction theory

Developt relationships with those who are similar to you, who are physically close to you, who offer you reinforcement,whom you consider attractive physically and in personality, and who are of a desired socioeconomic and educational level



Attraction TheoryAttraction Theory

Attractiveness

Appearance

Personality

Proximity

Similarity Matching Hypothesis

Complementarity

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Affinity-Seeking StrategiesAffinity-Seeking Strategies

Be of Help to Others

Appear In Control

Present Self as Socially Equal

Present Self as Comfortable

with Other

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Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)

Allow Other Some Control

Follow Cultural Rules

Appear Active, Enthusiastic, Dynamic

Stimulate and Encourage Other To Talk



Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)

Engage In Self-Disclosure

Appear Optimistic

Appear to Other as

Independent

Etc. Mic

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Social Exchange TheorySocial Exchange Theory

Profits

Rewards

Costs

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Social Exchange TheorySocial Exchange Theory You develop relationships that will enable you

to maximize your profit (Thibaut & Kelley,1986)

A theory based on an economic model of profits and losses and begin with the following equation: Profits = Reward – Costs.

Enter & maintain relationships in which the rewards are greater than the cost. When the costs become greater than the rewards, the reason deteriorates



Rewards: anything that you wuld incur costs to obtain

Types of rewards in a love relationships: money, status, love,information,goods (Baron & Byrne,1984)

Cost: things that you normally try to avoid,that you consider unpleasant or difficult

Profit: what results when the costs are subtracted from rewards.



Comparison LevelsComparison Levels

Expectations for Profits in Relationship

Comparison Level for Alternatives

Profits from Another Relationship



Equity TheoryEquity Theory

Ratio of Rewards and

Costs Equal to Partner’s

Underbenefited, Less

Likely to Succeed

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Equity theoryEquity theory

Develop and maintain relationships in which your ratio of rewards compared to cost is approximately equal to your partner’s



Equity Theory (continued)Equity Theory (continued)

Relationship Satisfaction

and Equity

Equity, Culture, and

Gender

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RELATIONSHIPS MAINTENANCE



Relationship Maintenance BehaviorsRelationship Maintenance Behaviors

To Keep the Relationship Intact

To Keep the Relationship at its

Present Stage

To Keep the Relationship Satisfying



Reasons For Relationship MaintenanceReasons For Relationship Maintenance

Emotional Attachment

Convenience

Children

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Reasons For Relationship Maintenance (continued)

Reasons For Relationship Maintenance (continued)

Fear

Inertia

Commitment Mic

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Rules for Maintaining RelationshipsRules for Maintaining Relationships

Friendship Rules



Rules for Maintaining RelationshipsRules for Maintaining Relationships

Friendship Rules

Romantic Rules



Communication for Maintaining RelationshipsCommunication for Maintaining Relationships

Be Nice : polite,cheerfull,friendly,avoid

critism,compromise, self -sacrifice

Communicate: talking about the honesty,& opennes

in relationships, talking about shared feelings

Be Open: direct discussion & listen to the other

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Communication for Maintaining Relationships (continued)

Communication for Maintaining Relationships (continued) Give Assurances: assure the other person of

the significance of the relationship.

Share Joint Activities: spend time with the

other

Be Positive: try to make interactions pleasant

and upbeat

Focus on Improving Yourself

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RELATIONSHIPS

DETERIORATION



Causes Relationship DeteriorationCauses Relationship Deterioration

Beliefs about Relationships

Excessive Intimacy Claims

Third-Party Relationships

Relationship Change Mic

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Relationship Deterioration (continued)Relationship Deterioration (continued)

Undefined Expectations

Sex-Related Problems

Work-Related Problems

Financial Difficulties Mic

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Effects of Relationship DeteriorationEffects of Relationship Deterioration

Loss of Benefits or Rewards

Loss of Self-Esteem

Financial Implications

Not all Breakups are Bad

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Communication in Relationship DeteriorationCommunication in Relationship Deterioration

Withdrawal

Decline in Self-Disclosure

Deception

Positive and Negative Messages



RELATIONSHIPS REPAIR



Relationship RepairRelationship Repair

Interpersonal RepairRecognize the ProblemEngage In Productive Communication

and Conflict ResolutionPose Possible SolutionsAffirm Each Other Integrate Solutions into Normal BehaviorRisk



Intrapersonal RepairIntrapersonal Repair

Recognize Communication is Circular

Realize the Interactions are Punctuated

Stimulation and Response

Can Break Unproductive Circle



Strategies for DisengagementStrategies for Disengagement

Use Positive Tone to Preserve

Relationship

Negative Identity Management

Justification for Breakup

Behavioral De-escalation

De-escalate to Reduce Exclusivity



Dealing with a BreakupDealing with a Breakup

Break the Loneliness-Depression Cycle

Take Time Out

Bolster Self-Esteem

Remove or Avoid Uncomfortable Symbols

Seek Support

Avoid Repeating Negative Patterns

TheInterpersonal


TheInterpersonal


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