chasing the wasp

8/3/2019 Chasing the Wasp

1/39

Chasing The Wasp

Derek Mitchell

Copyright 2011 DerekMitchell


2/39

Cast of Characters

Luke: The Comedian

Kristina: Joanie

AJ: Jimmy

Giulio: Boy 1, Other, Dog

Aaron: Boy 2, Other, Dog

James: Will Hayes, Other, The Leader

Allison: Lucy, Other, Dog

Samantha: Ms. Ratched, Other, Dog

Ramiro: Boy 3, Other, Dog

Ellen: Girl, Other, Dog

Sunny: Spritle

Lucas: Moon-fish


3/39

PROLOGUE

Scene 1

The stage is dimly lit; through the haze threefigures can be made out. Stage LEFT, one lies in a

bed amidst a sterile-looking bedroom set,apparently asleep. Beside his bed a table featuresan alarm clock, a small saucer, and an orange. Awooden window-frame hangs from invisible wires,casting the back wall against a black and vacantspace. Stage RIGHT, a small threadbare sofa isturned so that the two subjects--male andfemale--sitting atop it sit casually with theirbacks to the audience. They ponder the ancienttelevision-set before them. It sits atop amountainous pile of garbage--aluminum cans,bottles of bleach, empty containers and thelike--and its antennae shoot off haphazardly in

all directions. White and grey static buzzesfrenetically across its screen, captivating itsaudience. From silence, the sound of recordedapplause slowly crescendos. As it peaks in volume,the iris of a white spotlight opens on the spacejust behind the television. After a beat, THECOMEDIAN enters, beaming, and waving at hisaudience.

THE COMEDIAN

Hello, hello! Thank you all for coming tonight! Im soglad to be here!

(The applause gradually fades)So. There you all are. Youll never guess where I was,just before I came here. You see, I like to carry acoffee mug with me at all times because, I mean, atthis point I need a steady caffeine drip every hour ofthe day or, or my eyes roll back in my head and I justpass out--go down like a top-heavy cheerleader. Soanyway, this coffee mug is very popular right now; justblowing up the internet... it has (begins to laugh,somewhat uncontrollably) this... cat wearing (stilllaughing) a beret. It says Bonjour, mon aMEOW! (Laughsfeebly) ... anyway, its very funny. So it turns outguilty confession that Ive bought about a dozen ofthese coffee mugs over the course of a year, because Ialways lose them! I leave them in banks, at parties, inpublic restrooms. But I need to have one, because itsjust such a great conversation piece. Well, I buy themat this store in the shopping mall--you know that onein the city? Im not from the city, but I go there alot, mostly to go to the mall. There are a few... its

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


4/39

CONTINUED: 2.

THE COMEDIAN (contd)the one wedged between the two Starbucks... it hasthree floors, with the escalators. I mean of course Icould be referring to any one of the million and oneshopping malls on this continent. But thats notimportant; so Im at the shopping mall, and Im heading

towards the specific shop, the one with the mugs. Andthen it suddenly hits me; Im looking around and Irealize, this place is so messed up. Which brings me tomy next points...

(pulls a wrinkled scrap of paper from pocket;flicks the paper with one finger)

"The Top Five Most Disturbing Things About ShoppingMalls." I mean, people, do you realize just how verydisturbing these places are? (Clears throat) NumberFive: I saunter by one store, and think Ive passed alandfill. I thought Id never smell again! I turn, andsee one of the store attendants basically chasing after

passers-by, hosing them down them in perfume... thefaster people would run away from him, the moreaggressively he would chase after them, bathing them incologne. Which store, you ask? Abercrombie. Have youheard of it? I mean, apparently this place is just theend! I peer inside... t-shirts for forty dollars apiece... this emaciated young girl comes up to me andsays "welcome to Abercrombie, can I help you findanything?" I mean, I dont think the girl had slept indays! I think any unnecessary movement wouldve killedher... as it was, she lurked around the store like anupright three-toed sloth. I stayed for maybe thirtyseconds... it was like Platos cave of fashion. It was

like I was chained to a rack of torn hundred dollarjeans and forced to watch the shadows of little Asiankids assemble halter tops for sixteen-year-old bitcheswith Porsches. Anyway. Number Four. I come out ofAbercrombie, alive, thankfully. Im hungry, so I decideto go to the food court on the top floor. I get there,and survey some of my choices: Marios AuthenticItalian Cafeteria, Chihuahua Burrito, Kung Pao Panda. Idecide to get "Oriental BBQ". They give me a pile ofgrey noodles and chicken coated in any of severalsauces; I chose "sze chuan fire". I hear these peopledeciding which food to get. "Do you like indian food?""Yuck, no, too spicy. I hate curry." I walk over to the"Indian" Restaurant and ask the girl working therewhich dish she recommends. Her name tag says Sky. "Um,like, we have spicy butter chicken, and mild butterchicken. But the mild contains aspartame." NumberThree. I go back downstairs, to finally get my coffeemug. Then I pass one of these massive fountains thatevery mall has. Theres a sign beside it that says"Wishes: 25 Cents". There is an army of screaming

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


5/39

CONTINUED: 3.

THE COMEDIAN (contd)children congregated around the fountain. They run likelunatics to their parents, begging for money. "Mom,mom, mom, I need a quarter." "Alright, dear, but youonly get one wish." "What should I wish for?" "Wish fora full scholarship to Harvard." "Why Mom?" "Because if

you dont get into Harvard youll never become a doctorand youll die alone, like your father." So the kidtakes his quarter to the fountain, and throws it in.But it hits the spigot of the fountain-part, andricochets across the mall. The quarter is gone forever.The kid begs his mother for another quarter. "No,Tommy, life is not all about free quarters. If you loseyour quarter, you might never get another one, andthats your fault, not mine." Kindergarden capitalism.So I turn to leave, utterly disturbed, but not before Ipass a cluster of these parents, sitting on benchessipping frappuchinos and complaining about thegovernment. "I just worry that the socialists are

trying to infiltrate...one minute youre checking out abook from the library, the next there aregovernment-operated cameras installed in every cornerof your house. At least I heard thats what theyredoing in Europe." Number Two. People who pretend theyunderstand politics. Mr. President, Mr. President, wejust received word that theres been an attack! Nowdont you worry, now... Im just gonna finish readinthis here childrens book. "No! What this country needsis solar energy, everywhere. Solar panels lining thesurface of every building, tree, and child." "Wrong! Iread this blog published by the guy who works in thedeli at the UN gift shop, and he says were all doomed:

Greenland is coming!" "Beware the French!" God BlessAmerica.

(Tears list into pieces, and pulls a new one fromhis pocket; clears throat)

I have a new list.

The lights fade to brown out.


6/39

4.

ACT 1

Scene 1

From afar comes the slow, delicate cry of aclarinet. The bedroom set is contemplatively

illuminated, and Jimmy is drawn from sleep; he peers at the clock, and realizes just how verylate he is. He leaps from the bed, and, panicked,lunges to put on the pants lying at the bedsfoot. He trips, stumbles, and once on the ground,begins searching for his shoes.

JOANIE(From offstage, behind the bedroom set)

Jimmy! Jimmy!

JIMMYWho is it?

JIMMY begins to lace his shoes

JOANIE

Its me Jimmy!

JIMMYHello, me.

JIMMY stands and looks fixedly at the audience,adjusting his clothes slightly, as if surveyinghimself in a mirror

JOANIEWhats taking you so long?

JIMMYI cant find my books.

JOANIEI have your books.

JIMMYI cant believe you took my books.

JOANIEI didnt take them.

JIMMYAre you saying that I forgot them somewhere?

(CONTINUED)


7/39

CONTINUED: 5.

JOANIEYes.

JIMMY(beat)

Alright.

JIMMY glances in the mirror one last time, andexits his room. He takes the orange from hisbedside, and begins to eat it. JOANIE appears forthe first time. She struggles to carry two bags.They meet at the angle where his bedroom ends andthe central performance space begins:

JOANIE(jubilant, arms wide)

Good morning.

JIMMY pauses looks at her, and continues to walk,

peeling his orange.

JOANIEWell good morning to you, too. (a beat) I said goodmorning, Jimmy.

Grunting and panting, JOANIE still struggles tocarry the bags.

Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.

JIMMYWhat, Joanie?

JOANIEJimmy, Im hungry.

JIMMY, several strides ahead of her, tosses herhis orange. JOANIE fumbles as she catches it, btuhugs it tightly. After a beat, she slumps to theground, exhausted. JIMMY lunges forward, and pullsher upright. JOANIE grumbles.

JIMMYWell miss the bus, Joanie.

JIMMY collects his bag. They begin to walk, again.

JOANIEHey Jimmy.

JIMMYWhat, Joanie.

(CONTINUED)


8/39

CONTINUED: 6.

JOANIEWant to race to the bus stop?

JIMMY(feigned enthusiasm)

Sure.

JOANIEReady, set, go.

JOANIE takes off in one direction. JIMMY doesntmove. After a moment, JOANIE stops and looks athim. After a beat, JIMMY takes off in the oppositedirection. Each runs, until they simultaneouslymeet at the bench. They collide, panting.

JIMMYI win.

JOANIE(incredulous)

No way.

JIMMYYou think you won?

JOANIEI was closer than you.

JIMMYYou really think so?

JOANIEI know so.

JIMMYMaybe youre right.

JOANIEMaybe it was a tie.

JIMMYNo, you definitely won.

JOANIENo, maybe it was you.

JIMMYIm positive it was you.

JOANIENo, Jimmy, I want you to have it.

(CONTINUED)


9/39

CONTINUED: 7.

JIMMYOkay.

A beat. JOANIE looks puzzled.

JIMMY

Joanie, who did that to your hair?

JOANIE(Mouth full of fruit)

Me! Like it?

JIMMYHold still.

JIMMY reaches into his bag, and produces a can ofhairspray. JOANIE squeezes her eyes shut, andholds her breath. JIMMY buries her head in a cloudof hairspray. She thrashes about wildly, until he

abruptly stops. She cautiously prods at the massof frozen hair, pauses, and beams

Much better.

JOANIE(relieved)

Thanks.

JIMMYSo.

JOANIESo.

JIMMYGuess what I did last night.

JOANIE(pause)

You babysat your little brother and after he went tosleep you watched The Parent Trap in your underwearuntil you fell asleep because the Oreos were all gone?

JIMMY(with disdain)

Is that what you did, Joanie?

JOANIE(snorts, guffaws)

...no.

A long beatSo what did you do?

(CONTINUED)


10/39

CONTINUED: 8.

JIMMYWell, I dont know if I should tell you.

JOANIEOh my god, please tell me.

JIMMYI dont know...

JOANIEPlease. Ill do anything.

JIMMYAnything?

JOANIE(whining)

I want to know.

JIMMY(exasperated)

Fine. But you cant repeat it.

JOANIEI wont.

JIMMYSwear?

JOANIE spits into her hand, and extends it toJIMMY. He grimaces, and shakes it reluctantly.

JOANIEWell what is it?

JIMMY(coolly)

I was with Will Hayes last night.

JOANIESo?

JIMMYI was with Will Hayes last night.

A beat

JOANIESo?

JIMMY clears his throat loudly. A beat, andJOANIEs face is flushed with recognition.

(CONTINUED)


11/39

CONTINUED: 9.

JOANIENo.

JIMMYYes.

JOANIEYou didnt.

JIMMYI did.

JOANIEWhat did you do?

JIMMY raises his eyebrows, and clicks his tongue.JOANIE gasps.

JOANIE

You did that?

JIMMY(a beat)

Well, not that.

JOANIEDid you (a beat, nervously, inquisitively) kiss?

JIMMY(matter-of-factly)

Yep.

JOANIESo youre... (mouthing) gay?

JIMMYYep.

JOANIELike, officially?

JIMMYI guess.

JOANIEAnd hes...?

JIMMYI dont know.

JOANIEBut he has a girlfriend.

(CONTINUED)


12/39

CONTINUED: 10.

JIMMYEveryone has a girlfriend, Joanie.

A beat

JOANIE

What if Im a lesbian.

JIMMYDo you have a girlfriend?

JOANIENot yet.

JOANIE stares contemplatively, and takes anenormous bite from her apple.

BOY 1, BOY 2, and WILL HAYES enter stage LEFT.They converse quietly.

JIMMYOh my god.

JOANIEWhat?

JIMMYThere he is. Look away.

JIMMY turns his head away from the boys. JOANIEhesitates, then throws the orange at them. Thegroup looks up, and begins to approach the bench.

JOANIEOh no.

JIMMYWhat?

JOANIETheyre walking towards us.

JIMMYWho?

JOANIE points to the group of boysfast-approaching.

JIMMY(Gasps)

Why are they coming over here?

(CONTINUED)


13/39

CONTINUED: 11.

JOANIEI guess I threw my apple at them

JIMMYYou guess? Why did you throw your apple at them?

JOANIETo get their attention.

JIMMYAnd you couldnt have just waved? Or whistled? Or(directing his middle finger at her) flipped them off?

JOANIEJimmy, I dont use that gesture.

JIMMYYou throw apples instead?

JOANIEWell Im sorry I tried to help.

JIMMYHelp? Help? Oh god, now youve done it.

JOANIEBut--

JIMMYShh, theyre here.

The group arrives at the bench.

JOANIEHi there.

The boys look at her with distaste.

WILL HAYES(Extending his arm, apple in hand)

Hello. I believe this is yours?

JOANIEOh there it is! Thank you. Ive been looking all overfor it.

WILL HAYESWhats your name again?

JOANIEIts me, Will, Joanie Beckett.

(CONTINUED)


14/39

CONTINUED: 12.

WILL HAYESDo we know each other?

BOY 1 and BOY 2 begin to snicker.

JOANIE

Oh, Will. Weve only gone to school together since thefirst grade.

WILL HAYESOh, right.

A beat

JOANIE(Clears throat)

Well, I guess you know my friend here?

WILL HAYES

Why would I know him?

JOANIEBecause he went to first grade too, Will.

WILL HAYESOh, right. Its...Jack, isnt it?

JIMMYIts James, actually. Most people call me Jimmy.

WILL HAYESYou have a girlfriend, Jimmy?

JOANIE(stands, hands on her hips)

Im his girlfriend.

JAMES rolls his eyes and mutters.

WILL HAYES(grinning)

You dont say.

BOY 1 and BOY 2 laugh more audibly now. JIMMYstands, and begins to gather his things.

JIMMYIll see you guys later.

JOANIEWhere are you going?

(CONTINUED)


15/39

CONTINUED: 13.

JIMMY(mumbles)

Im just going to walk.

JOANIEBut the bus will be here any minute.

JIMMY(beginning to walk away)

Ill see you in class.

JOANIE(shouting after him)

But youre going to be late.

JIMMY takes off into a run, and exits stage RIGHT

Scene 2

A light breeze tugs, and the lights dim. A busarrives, and departs. The combination of sound,the sepia glow, and the gentle movement of thecast as they prepare to move creates acontemplative, dreamy reverie. A small area, awayfrom the stage, is illuminated, and JOANIE andLUCY discuss as they ready themselves for class.JOANIE stands with books, set back slightly, andLUCY brushes her hair in the foreground, gazing inthe direction of the audience at an unseen mirror.

JOANIESo what did you want to tell me, Lucy?

LUCYPsh, havent you heard?

JOANIE(earnestly)

What?

LUCYAbout Will Hayes, dummy.

JOANIEYou heard?

LUCYOf course I heard, everyones heard.

JOANIEOh, no.

(CONTINUED)


16/39

CONTINUED: 14.

LUCYI know, I cant believe they broke up. Its just awful.So, so sad.

JOANIEOh Lucy, you cant...if anyone finds out--wait, who

broke up?

LUCYOh my god. (knocks on JOANIEs head) Will Hayes andAlison Langdon. I swear, Joanie, its like you donteven know what true love is. Didnt you ever see SnowWhite? The Little Mermaid? The Crying Game?

JOANIEWe didnt have a television.

LUCY(horrified)

Oh, oh my god. What else is wrong with you?

JOANIENothing, I guess. Im just so relieved.

LUCYRelieved? This is like the end of an era. Theextinction of the dinosaurs. My moms third divorce.(hushed) And I heard its because she didnt want to doanything, and he was, like, pressuring her and stuff.

JOANIE(snorts)

Thats not what I heard.

LUCY stops brushing her hair, and swivels slowlyto look at JOANIE, who in turn wears a look ofhorror, and covers her mouth.

LUCYWell what did you hear? Do you have a secret? I thinkyou know a secret. I can smell it.

JOANIE(beat)

Oh, Luc...you know, people talk. Just say a lot ofsilly, silly things that probably arent even true, andare just...so silly. Just a lot of hot air.

LUCYJoanie Beckett, you know something.

(CONTINUED)


17/39

CONTINUED: 15.

JOANIENo. No, I dont know anything. I know literallynothing.

LUCY siezes JOANIE by the collar of her shirt, andslams her against the back wall.

LUCYSpill it, retard. Or Ill tell everyone that youre theone who peed on the pillows in the library.

JOANIEWho told you?

LUCYEww, I was just bluffing.

JOANIEFine. But you have to promise you wont tell--

LUCYI wont tell a single living soul.

JOANIE(holds breath, then exhales)

Well, the reason Will Hayes broke up with AlisonLangdon is not because she wouldnt do anything...itsbecause he didnt like her.

LUCYWell of course...Alison Langdon once asked me how tospell the word "hair".

JOANIELike a rabbit?

LUCYNo, like the thing she eats when shes nervous.

JOANIE had been nibbling on her hair, but at thisshe spits it out feebly.

JOANIEWell, thats not it. He didnt like her... in adifferent way. He doesnt like any of us...girls.

LUCY looks puzzled for a moment, until her face issuddenly flushed with a devious realization.

LUCYYou mean hes--

(CONTINUED)


18/39

CONTINUED: 16.

JOANIEUh-huh.

LUCYYou have proof?

JOANIEUh-huh.

LUCYWith who?

The scream of a school bell fills the space, andclass begins.

Scene 3

The students pour into the classroom spacedownstage center from all directions, filling

their seats noisily. They chatter, until WILLHAYES looks around

WILL HAYESOy, where Ms. Ratched at?

From the corner of the theatre MS. RATCHED entersnoisily,

MS. RATCHEDSimmer down, children. Take your seats, all of you.

The students shuffle, disgruntled. MS. RATCHED

eyes the vacant seat where, it is implied, JIMMYwould likely be seated.

Where is Jimmy? Have any of you seen Jimmy? MissBeckett--

JOANIEPresent.

BOY 1(mockingly)

Present.

The students laugh.

MS. RATCHED(grimacing)

Thank you, Miss Beckett. Now kindly tell me where Jimmyis.

(CONTINUED)


19/39

CONTINUED: 17.

JOANIEWho?

MS. RATCHEDI dont have the patience for your ignorance today,Miss Beckett. Jimmy. Do you know where he is?

JOANIEJimmy? Jimmy should be coming...any minute...

JIMMY enters noisily from the audience.

JIMMYIm here, Ms. Ratched, Im here. Present.

MS. RATCHEDI was beside myself with worry.

JIMMY takes his seat, and all of the students

begin to whisper among themselves.

MS. RATCHEDAlright children: today well be discussing--. Allright, all right. Children,

The students ignore her. MS. RATCHED glancesaround at them, and, disgusted, thwacks her meterstick against her board. In terrified unison, thestudents bounce upright, and sit at rigidattention. MS. RATCHED glowers at them. JOANIEraises her hand timidly. MS. RATCHED ignores it,but JOANIE waves it, attempting to capture the

teachers attention. MS. RATCHED erupts,

MS. RATCHEDNo, you may not use the washroom, Miss Beckett.

JOANIE lowers her hand slowly, with resignation.

MS. RATCHEDVery good. Now that I have everyones undividedattention: today we will discuss--

(She turns to reveal writing on theboard)

--SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

The students giggle furiously.

MS. RATCHED(nodding, knowingly)

Shhh. Yes, children. Pre-marital intercourse will ruinyour life. Now, does anyone not know what intercourseis?

(CONTINUED)


20/39

CONTINUED: 18.

WILL HAYES raises his hand. The other studentsgiggle, and Ms. Ratched crosses her arms and rollsher eyes.

MS. RATCHEDI highly doubt it, Mr. Hayes. Anyone else confused? (a

beat) Good. Swept into a blaze of lusty compulsions, itis easy to confuse the gift of life with a debauchedescapade of the flesh...with depraved, sticky fumblingsin the dark backseat of your premature prom datesfathers Chevrolet.

WILL HAYESTell us about your sticky fumblings, Ms. Ratched.

MS. RATCHEDDetention, Mr. Hayes, for speaking out of turn.

WILL HAYES

When can I have a turn, Ms. Ratched?

MS. RATCHEDWhen you can keep a girlfriend, I presume.

The students laugh.

MS. RATCHEDIt is not wise to adopt such a cavalier outlook,children, when it comes to temptations of the flesh.Beware the charm of the wayward cobra, for its bite isshaped like an infant.

MS. RATCHED turns, and continues to speak sottovoce. The students again begin to talk amongstthemselves. LUCY turns to GIRL across the way

LUCYPsst.

LUCY passes GIRL a tightly folded note. GIRL readsit, gawking at the unseen contents of the page.

JOANIE(Whispering furiously, desperately)

Jimmy, you have to get that note.

JIMMYWhat? Why?

JOANIEJimmy, Im sorry. She made me tell.

(CONTINUED)


21/39

CONTINUED: 19.

MS. RATCHED makes her way to GIRLs seat, andsnatches the note from her hands. GIRL leaps up,but MS. RATCHED holds it high above GIRLs head.

GIRLAw, come on Ms. Ratched.

JIMMY(suddenly registering JOANIEsstatement)

Please, Ms. Ratched. Please, give me the note.Its--its mine.

MS. RATCHED(cackles)

Do you think Im stupid, young man?

JIMMYPlease, just give me the note.

GIRL sits down again, disinterested.

MS. RATCHED(eyes him for a moment)

Fine, Ill give you the note. Ill give you the note ifyou read it to us. Im sure were all very curious.Come now, come to the front of the class and readwhats written on the paper.

JIMMYI... cant.

MS. RATCHEDYou cant? You cant read? Are you illiterate?

JIMMYNo, I just cant read whats on that paper.

MS. RATCHEDYou know whats written on the paper? How veryprescient of you.

JIMMY(softly)

Please, just give me the paper.

MS. RATCHED(softly, spitefully)

Read it.

JIMMY shakes his head.Read it, or I will.

(CONTINUED)


22/39

CONTINUED: 20.

JIMMYNo.

MS. RATCHED, clutching the crumpled note, extendsher hand. JIMMY makes his way to the front, andtimidly collects the paper from MS. RATCHEDs

outstretched grip. MS. RATCHED moves RIGHT, andJIMMY stands CENTER before the class. He clearshis throat. And looks up. He looks to MS. RATCHED.

MS. RATCHED(coolly)

Were waiting, James.

JIMMY clears his throat once more. He reads thefirst two words,

JIMMYI heard...

He stops, and lowers his head. There is unbrokensilence. MS. RATCHED suddenly cries

MS. RATCHEDHave you gone mute? (a beat) Ill read it then

MS. RATCHED lunges for the paper, but JIMMY movesbag.

JIMMY(shaking)

I heard... I heard...

MS. RATCHEDWhat did you hear?

JIMMYI heard Will Hayes is

JIMMY pauses; there is a beat

MS. RATCHEDWill Hayes is?

JIMMYa...a faggot.

The school bell rings, and the students flee.


23/39

21.

ACT 2

Scene 1

JIMMY wends through the audience, in the directionof his room. He breathes heavily. From around a

corner, BOY 2, BOY 3, and WILL HAYES appear

BOY 2Look who it is, Will.

BOY 3He looks so familiar.

BOY 2Wait a minute--isnt that the little fucker with allthe lip?

BOY 3

I think it is. What are we gonna do to him?

BOY 2I say we burn em.

They laugh.

WILL HAYESKnock it off, idiots.

JIMMYWill, look. Im sorry about all of this. I swear, thisis the first Ive heard of it.

WILL HAYESNo, you shut the fuck up.

Suddenly BOY 2 wrenches JIMMYs wrist up, behindhis back, and he is forced to the ground,face-first, yelling in pain. BOY 3 collectsJIMMYs bag. BOY 3 begins to rummage through it, producing the can of hairspray. BOY 2 turns JIMMYover, and BOY 3 shoots the hairspray into JIMMYeyes. JIMMY cries out, coughing. BOY 3 relents,and the two retreat. JIMMY crumples, and WILLHAYES observes him with distaste. JIMMY looks up

JIMMYWill, I--

WILL HAYES pulls JIMMY up slowly, clutching a massof his shirt by its collar.

(CONTINUED)


24/39

CONTINUED: 22.

WILL HAYESDont you breathe. Dont you even look at me.

They stare at each other for a moment, until thesilence is broken.

JOANIE

(from a distance)Jimmy! Jimmy! Are you okay? (to WILL HAYES) What haveyou done to him?

BOY 3Oh look--its the bitchs bitch.

JOANIE(to BOY 3)

You dont talk to me that way, you dont talk to anyonethat way.

BOY 2

What did you just say?

JOANIEI said you had better leave us alone--I have mace in mybag and my father on speed-dial.

BOY 2 and Boy 3 jeer. JIMMY head is lowered inshame. JOANIE reaches for his hand, and he limplyobliges.

JOANIE(in a whisper)

Jimmy, please. Lets go. (a beat) Im surprised at you,Will. You were always such a nice boy. What would yourmother say?

BOY 3 passes behind JOANIE and tugs on her hair.

BOY 2Come on, Will.

BOY 2 and BOY 3 prepare to exit

BOY 3Theyre freaks, Will. Lets go.

WILL HAYESGo home, you two. (He spits)

BOY 2 and BOY 3 exit UPSTAGE. WILL HAYES looksfleetingly at JOANIE and JIMMY, and after amoment, he too is pulled away. JIMMYs head isstill lowered.

(CONTINUED)


25/39

CONTINUED: 23.

JOANIE(shouting after WILL HAYES)

Oh, we will. We wont have anything to do with you.

JOANIE and JIMMY sit.

JOANIE

Jimmy, are you alright? Did they--

JIMMYDont touch me, Joanie.

JOANIEWhy, did they hurt you? Let me see--

JIMMYJoanie, I dont believe you came here.

JOANIEBelieve it, Jimmy. I saved you from--

JIMMYI didnt need saving.

JOANIEThey were killing you, Jimmy. They were like wild dogson a housecat.

JIMMYI have to go.

JIMMY stands, and begins to walk. Then JOANIEstands,

JOANIEJimmy, Im sorry.

JIMMYWhat are you sorry for?

JOANIEWell, Im sorry I broke my promise. Im sorry that thishad to happen. Im sorry I cant understand.

JIMMY

No, Joanie, you cant understand.

JOANIEBut Jimmy, I just learned all of this today. Andbesides, nobodys going to remember tomorrow. Theyllhave forgotten; theyll be passing notes about Freddyssecret medication or Alison Langdons tampon stringor--

(CONTINUED)


26/39

CONTINUED: 24.

JIMMYBut I will. I will remember Joanie.

JOANIEWhy did you do it then?

JIMMY

Do what?

JOANIEOh come on, Jimmy.

JIMMYHow do you even know I did it?

JOANIEYou lied to me?

JIMMYDoes it matter? Does it matter if Im just lonely and

fucked up?

JOANIEJimmy.

JIMMYBut it did happen, Joanie. Ask anybody.

JOANIEJimmy, youre not making any sense.

JIMMYAre you afraid of bees, Joanie?

JOANIEWhat?

JIMMYBees, Joanie, are you afraid of them?

JOANIEWhat does this have to do--

JIMMYJust answer the question.

JOANIEI dont mind a bumble bee.

JIMMY(exasperated)

Not a bumble bee, Joanie. Not the fat, lovable,flower-fucking honey bees--I mean sleek, uncompromisingwasps. Insects with clout.

(CONTINUED)


27/39

CONTINUED: 25.

JOANIENobody likes wasps.

JIMMYYou, though, are you afraid of them?

JOANIEYes, yes. They scare me. So what?

JIMMYI was in my bed reading Doctor Faustas for Englishclass when a wasp flew in and sat on my bedpost. Itdidnt move, so I prodded it with my toe. Do you knowwhat it did?

JOANIEWhat did it do?

JIMMY

It fell to the floor, stumbled around endlessly.

JOANIEWhat was it doing?

JIMMYLooking for the window, I suppose.

JOANIEBut why didnt it just fly away?

JIMMYI dont know, Joanie. Maybe it forgot how. But the

window was right there--I lifted it, and held itagainst the breeze. But it was motionless, rolling likea caterpillar in the fold of my palm. So I put it on aplate beside my window, and its been there, alive,ever since. It looks through the window at night, Ithink. And I do--I watch the street past the yard,where cars drive east to the city. Its transcendent.But Joanie, theres something out there. In the city,or past it, even. Theres something more thanthis...more than Ms. Ratched, more than hairspray andbees. I look out my window, and Im free. You know? Imstill trapped in that fucking room, but Im free,somehow. And I can convince myself that Ive alreadygone. Im not here anymore, Joanie. Nothing herematters to me.

JOANIEYou cant run away Jimmy, no matter how horrible itmight seem.

(CONTINUED)


28/39

CONTINUED: 26.

JIMMYWhy not?

JOANIEBecause whatever it is will follow.

JIMMYIm already crowned faggot, Joanie. The world isburning here. And its only a matter of time before Imscorched, too. (sighs) Go home, Joanie.

JOANIEJimmy, I--

JIMMYIll be seeing you, Joanie.

JOANIEIll be looking at the Moon, Jimmy.

JIMMYIll be seeing you, Joanie.

The lights onstage fade to black, so that onlyJimmy room, and JOANIE, downstage, areilluminated. JOANIE stands, and watches JIMMY forone moment, and her spotlight fades too. JIMMYretreats to his bedroom. He collects the saucerfrom his bedside table, and holds it up to thewindowsill. He stares past it for a moment, lowershis head, and blows gently across the surface ofthe plate. There is no sound. He watches through

the window for a moment, and replaces the sauceron the table. He sits on the edge of his bed, withhis back to the audience. The lights on his roomfade, and only his silhouette is illuminated.

Scene 2

From the darkness, the lone clarinetist once againbegins to play. A breeze blows, slowly, brooding.A voice whispers "Jimmy, Jimmy", followed byshrill giggling, and JIMMY stirs. The breeze growslouder. SPRITLE runs across the stage, past hisroom, and disappears again. JIMMY bolts upright,alarmed and awake.

JIMMYHello?

There is giggling.

(CONTINUED)


29/39

CONTINUED: 27.

JIMMYHello? Is someone there?

JIMMY starts from his bed, and stands defensively.With his back turned, SPRITLE leaps from thedarkness, launching herself to stand on his bed.

SPRITLEJimmy!

JIMMY starts, turns, sees SPRITLE, and screams.SPRITLE leaps, and wraps herself around JIMMY neckand torso in a startling embrace. Shocked, JIMMYtries to pry her away, and shake her onto the bed.

JIMMYWhat are you doing in my room? Who are you?

SPRITLE watches him, and giggles. She leaps from

the bed, and pulls a suitcase from beneath it. Shebegins to rummage about the room, throwing variousodd pieces of clothing into it.

JIMMYI want an answer, little girl. This is my room. Theseare my things. What are you doing with them?

SPRITLEWe dont have time for this, Jimmy!

JIMMYTime for what? Why?

SPRITLEWe have to hurry! Were going to be late!

JIMMYLate? Where are we going? Who are you?

SPRITLEShh!

SPRITLE closes the suitcase with a thud, and sitsatop it, cross-legged. She shifts, as ifattempting to concentrate.

JIMMY(exasperated)

Who are you?

SPRITLEShh!

(CONTINUED)


30/39

CONTINUED: 28.

JIMMY(beat)

What are you doing?

SPRITLEShh!

SPRITLE closes her eyes, and after a moment theclarinetist plays. This time, JIMMY is cognizantof it. Suddenly captivated by the sound, JIMMY allbut ignores SPRITLEs lurid attempts at his fullattention. Disgruntled, she clasps his wrist, anddrags him downstage CENTER, where JIMMY standswary with anxiousness. SPRITLE reaches into herside-bag, and produces a handful of dust. Shebeckons for JIMMYs hand, and fills it with thestuff. She watches him, and he looks puzzled.Exasperated, she wrings her hands in the air, andsays,

SPRITLEBlow!

Skeptical and confused, JIMMY surveys her for amoment. She demonstrates broadly. Understandingher seriousness, JIMMY raises his hand, and, aftera moment, exhales--stirring a cloud of shimmeringdust. At that moment, all lights fade to blue.

Alice by Cocteau Twins begins to play. From alldirections come THE OTHERS. They whisper, adlibbing to the effect of: "Its Jimmy!" "Jimmy has

returned!", etc. They set the new stage; threeenormous plastic sheaths are raised, each renderedfrom transcluscent colored plastics. Bottles andbags are scattered, and a makeshift throneupholstered in newspaper is wheeled on from theshadows. SPRITLE leads JIMMY to the throne, and hesits. As the stage is set, all but two of THEOTHERS situated himself at the foot of the stage,forming an audience to the action. The tworemaining OTHERS conceal themselves behind thethrone. The music ceases. A yellow spotlightilluminates JIMMY and SPRITLE. JIMMY covers hiseyes from the blinding light, and SPRITLE jumps upand down, clapping and laughing maniacally.

SPRITLEYoure home, Jimmy!

JIMMYWhat? Who are you? Where am I?

(CONTINUED)


31/39

CONTINUED: 29.

JIMMY stands to leave, but the hands of THE OTHERSrestrain him from behind the throne. SPRITLE clapsher hands. One of THE OTHERS places a crown onJIMMYs head.

SPRITLE

Look, everyone, the king has returned!

THE OTHERS cheer and applaud.

JIMMYWhat is all this?

SPRITLEDont you remember this place? You were here a verylong time ago.

JIMMYWho are all of you?

SPRITLE & THE OTHERS(in unison)

Were your friends, Jimmy!

SPRITLEDont worry Jimmy, this is just a dream. Nothing canhurt you.

JIMMYIm dreaming?

SPRITLE

This is just a perfect dream.

JIMMY(gesturing to the hidden others)

What are they doing?

SPRITLETheyre waiting! Were all waiting!

JIMMYWhat are we waiting for?

SPRITLEWere waiting for Moon-Fish!

JIMMYWhat is a Moon-fish?

SPRITLEYou dont know Moon-fish?

(CONTINUED)


32/39

CONTINUED: 30.

JIMMYNo. What the hell--

SPRITLEShh! Thats why we need you! We need you to call her!

JIMMYWhy cant you call her?

SPRITLEShe cant hear us!

JIMMYMaybe you just need to shout.

SPRITLEShout?

JIMMY

Yes, shout.

SPRITLE(a beat, in a high pitched squeal)

Moon-fish!

The breeze replies with a small gust.

SPRITLESee! You must do it! Nobody else but you.

JIMMYBut what the hell is a Moon-fish?

SPRITLE grumbles, clasps JIMMY wrist, and dragshim from his throne, to center stage. Thespotlight follows.

SPRITLEJust stand here. Yes, here. Come, now. We dont havetime!

JIMMY raises his hands, and SPRITLE forces themback to his sides. JIMMY looks at SPRITLE. Shewrings her hands, and says

SPRITLENow Jimmy!

JIMMY(hesitantly)

Moon-fish?

(CONTINUED)


33/39

CONTINUED: 31.

SPRITLELouder!

JIMMYWho the hell am I talking to?

SPRITLE(pointing up)

There!

JIMMY(after a moment, shouting)

Moon-fish? Moon-fish? Are you there?

A windstorm thunders, and THE OTHERS begin to runabout the stage. The spotlight fades, and SPRITLE pulls JIMMY downstage CENTER, before the throne.

SPRITLE

Shes coming!

A white spotlight fixates at the peak of thesilken tower. A hand, swathed in a black sleeve, protrudes from the silk, and cuts the air, untilit finds the side of the curtain, drawing it open.The hands produce a small parcel wrapped innewsprint and silk, and throw it to the stagebelow. THE OTHERS scramble to open it, producingsmall squares of folded tinfoil. They recede, andbegin to flicker lighters on and off. MOON-FISHwholly emerges from the tower now, and glides downthe sheer incline of its northerly face. Once

fully descended, she makes contact with the stage.Covering her face with her hands for a moment, shesurveys the audience; she then turns, and removesher hands upon seeing JIMMY. "Alone Together" byJudy Garland begins to play. MOON-FISH removes hercloak, and sings. As she sings, THE OTHERS burnthe tin-foil from below. Smoke wafts from themetallic squares, and THE OTHERS siphon it throughtheir mouths as it drifts into the air. MOON-FISHapproaches JIMMY; she produces a square from hercostume, and offers it to him. He takes it,bewildered, and fascinated. SPRITLE lights it frombelow. The smoke hangs in the air. SPRITLE inhalesit, and she wobbles back and forth. She motions toJIMMY, and, hesitant, he follows suit. MOON-FISHwails, and JIMMY is anesthetized--he stumbles, andcrumples to the ground, smiling. MOON-FISHcontinues to perform the number to its final note,at which point she extends her arms and basks inthe audiences applause. To this point in hernumber, THE OTHERS have tapered their exits, so

(CONTINUED)


34/39

CONTINUED: 32.

that, when the spotlight fades from MOON-FISH andshe retreats to the throne now moved to thebackground, all of THE OTHERS have disappeared.MOON-FISH lazes quietly in the throne, surveyingthe action. SPRITLE kisses JIMMY on the cheek, andwhispers,

SPRITLEGoodbye, my King.

SPRITLE takes his crown, and exits.

JIMMY(content)

No, dont go. I never want to leave.

JIMMY is alone.

Scene 3

A breeze begins to blow, and a fog rolls acrossthe surface of the stage. From far away, a pack ofdogs barks. Footsteps patter irregularly, andSPRITLE appears, disheveled, panicked, and out ofbreath.

SPRITLE(in a furious whisper)

Jimmy! Jimmy! You have to move. Theyre coming.

JIMMY(groggily)

What?

SPRITLEJimmy, get up. Now, you must. You must, or theylldestroy you.

JIMMYWhere did everyone go?

SPRITLEYou must go, now. Theyre coming.

JIMMYWhos coming?

SPRITLEThe dogs.

At this, THE DOGS, situated behind the plasticsheaths, are lit from behind, snarling ferally.SPRITLE looks about frantically--disregarding

(CONTINUED)


35/39

CONTINUED: 33.

JIMMY--and abruptly runs off into the darkness.THE DOGS growl; each bears, in one hand, a bucketcontaing a small amount of transparent liquid, andin the other, a long and menacing stake. Inunison, the stomp their paws against the earth,and beat the buckets ferociously. As the fog

thickens, they enter, in step with theirentrancing rhythm. As they form a semicirclearound JIMMY, who peers in all directions andstarts, agitated, the liquid contents of thebuckets splash onto the stage. The blue lightfades, and, signaled by THE LEADER (WILL HAYES),each drops his stick, and hurls his bucket intothe pit. THE DOGS growl, and THE LEADER (WILLHAYES) steps forward from the others. JIMMY sitsupright, to face him. THE LEADER (WILL HAYES)surveys JIMMY for a moment, and produces amatchbook. He raises one match above his head,strikes it, and, after a beat, drops it to the

floor. There is a beat of total blackout, and thensuddenly, the spaces is filled with the sweepingroar of flames, and all light burns crimson. THELEADER (WILL HAYES) stoops beside JIMMY, gazinginto his face.

JIMMYWill?

THE LEADER (WILL HAYES) says nothing.

JIMMYWill, Im sorry. I lied.

THE LEADER (WILL HAYES) grasps JIMMY by thecollar, and slowly draws him upright. As JIMMY isslowly brought to stand, THE DOGS barking isunified, until it resembles a brooding chant. THELEADER (WILL HAYES) and JIMMY face each other fora moment. "Daylight and the Sun" by Antony & theJohnsons plays. At the repetetive note of the piano, THE LEADER (WILL HAYES) draws back slowly,and suddenly deals a violent blow to the side ofJIMMYs face, who subsequently falls back into a pack of three DOGS. They toss him across the spaceto the other pack, who then wrench him forwardinto a dull spotlight. JIMMY, on all fours, lopesdownstage CENTER. At once, all of THE DOGS pounce,and tear at JIMMYs clothes and limbs. He isthrust back and forth, and screams in pain. At acertain musical climax, JOANIE, lit from behind ina warm gold. She screams, weeping, terrified.

(CONTINUED)


36/39

CONTINUED: 34.

JOANIEJimmy, where are you?

JIMMYJoanie. Joanie, help me.

JOANIEJimmy, where are you?

JIMMYJoanie, its not your fault. Its my fault.

JOANIENo Jimmy, you didnt do anything wrong.

JIMMYHelp me.

JOANIE

Jimmy, where are you? Oh god.

JIMMYTheyre really killing me this time.

JOANIEJimmy, you have to be strong.

JIMMYI cant.

JOANIEJimmy, listen to me. Think of the city. Think of the

lights. Youll be there someday. Someday, you will findthe city in the east. Until then, you must be strong.

JIMMYWhat if I cant be strong?

JOANIE(a beat)

I love you, Jimmy.

JIMMYI love you too, Joanie.

JOANIE disappears. Blood pours down JIMMYs face,and after a moment, THE DOGS engulf him. Suddenlythe sound of applause fills the stage. The dogswhine, and shrink back into the shadows. THELEADER (WILL HAYES) takes one last fleeting lookat JIMMYs ravaged form, then he too departs. Thetwo figures occupy the sofa, and the screen of thetelevision once again fills with static. THE

(CONTINUED)


37/39

CONTINUED: 35.

COMEDIAN emerges. There is riotous applause, andthe white spotlight follows him. He steps overJIMMYs slumped silhouette, and assumes his placedownstage center. He holds his hand up:

THE COMEDIAN

... and I said, welcome to the suburbs!

(recorded laughter)I left the city a few years back. I miss it sometimes,sure, but really, theres not much difference betweenhere and there. There, the city to theeast--cosmopolitan, bustling, commercial-- and here thesuburbs: insular, rigid, safe. Walk down the streetright before dinnertime--six pm, on a week night--andyou see children, and mothers waving to them fromdoorsteps. Their fathers come home, tired, happy to seetheir families. Call me old-fashioned, but theressomething right about it all. Dont get me wrong... I

still loathe the Starbucks parents... the ones who sitaround the "wish fountain" and exchange Fox News soundbites. But...I cant believe Im saying this, but whocan really blame them? I mean... I used to activelyprotest state-level legislation... I hated Bush... andBush... even Reagan. But now, its like (beat) you turnon the television and theres crisis and death andfucking celebrity rehab. I dont understand when welost it--or if we ever had it for that matter. Yourelucky to find a reliable news source these days... andif the Starbucks parents move to the suburbs to watchFox News, maybe its because they dont know where elseto go? No, thats not right. I cant place it. You

see--I do my best to get by. And I know my getting byis a hell of a lot better than somebody getting by inother places... Africa, you know.

(Recorded laughter)But theyre getting by--the suburbanites... and theyeat this shit for breakfast. But honestly: do they knowany better? The Huffington Post thinks so.

(Recorded laughter)No! No, stop that. Why are you laughing? Nothing thatIm saying is funny. Nothing Ive said here tonight isfunny... at all. I dont think they know any better. Ithink theyre oblivious-- Im fucking oblivious-- andits not my fault. Who is it? Who brought us here? Hewas bleeding! Did you see him? You know what, turn thisoff. Turn the television off. Theres nothing to seehere.

(Recorded laughter)

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


38/39

CONTINUED: 36.

THE COMEDIAN (contd)Laugh. Laugh forever, at the top of your lungs. Itsnot funny. And, Ill let you in on a little secret: noone can hear you.


39/39

37.

EPILOGUE

Scene 1

The spotlight fades from THE COMEDIAN. He exits.The two figures exit from the sofa, but the static

still dances across the television screen. Thestage is dimly lit. JIMMY stirs, whimpering in pain. From the throne, MOON-FISH toys with alighter, and lights a cigarette. A blue spotlightgradually illuminates her. She covers her face,and then sees JIMMY; she extinguishes hercigarette, and stands, stretching. She descendsfrom the throne, and Over the Rainbow by JudyGarland (the Carnegie Hall recording) begins to play. MOON-FISH sings, arriving at JIMMYs side.She tries to sit him upright, but he protests. She persists, and he finally obliges. He attempts tohide his bloody face from the audience. She

produces a handkerchief, and cleans his face withit. She embraces him, and leads him to his bed. Helies, fetally, with his back to the audience. Thespotlight continues to follow. MOON-FISH descendsfrom the bedroom set. Her hands raised, the finalnote of the song rings. The spotlight dims first,until MOON-FISHs silhouette is only illuminated.Then, the stage lights fade, so that thetelevision is the only source of light. In thedarkness, MOON-FISH turns, and, beginning to walkoffstage. After a beat, she extinguishes thetelevision set, too.

Exeunt.

chasing the wasp

Documents