PTheros Consof Your Child's

Online Id~~Qm!~!Y

Eight weeks into summer and you'rebaffled by your teen's insistence onspending her days devoted to the

computer. You beg and plead with her toenjoy the beautiful sunshine, to make planswith a friend, to see a movie. She refuses. Shethinks she has all the connection she needsat her desktop. MySpace and Facebook haveher chatting with all her friends, sharingmusic, pictures, and gossip apd even makingnew friends. Uh, oh. Safety, safety, safety. Butbefore you throwaway your family com-puter and lock your teen in her room, let'sconsider the possible benefits of creating anonline identity.

The ProsAs adolescents and teens grapple with

who they are and what they want for theirlives, having an online profile allows them totryon different identities through self-ex-pression and the opportunity to connect withlike-minded peers. According to a 2007 sur-vey by Cox Communications, 71% of teens,ages 13 to 17, have created online profiles onsocial networks like MySpace or Facebook.

And, according to the Pew Internet & Ameri-can Life Project, 91% of teens with an onlineprofile use it to "stay in touch with friends[they] see a lot."

Here's the good news: a study last monthfrom the University of Minnesota found thatthe use of social networking sites actuallyhelps teens develop vital 21st century skillsin technology, communication and creativ-ity. Further, research from the MacArthurFoundation showed how social networkingsites foster the development of "New MediaLiteracy," as online teens develop the abilityto network, negotiate and multitask, amongother valuable skills. As for the short-termbenefits, these sites can help teens to feelconnected, to manage their friendships andto share ideas, a dynamic I've observed withthe teens in my practice. The Pew Internet& American Life Project found that 39% ofteens post their artistic or creative work on-line. Creating content or a profile online canbe a positive, identity-affirming experience,with, of course, parental guidance and theappropriate privacy settings for safety.

The ConsThe internet is like a playground in a pub-

lic park. There are stranger dangers alongwith friendly children and fun activities.But unlike leaving the park for the day, yourprofile stays online even after the computeris turned off. 58% of teens surveyed said theydon't think it's unsafe to post pictures andpersonal information online (Cox Commu-nications, 2007). It's imperative to help teensunderstand that they cannot control informa-tion about themselves once it's been postedonline or even emailed. They may take downphotos or remove comments, but as easily asyou can copy and paste in an email, profilescan be copied and pictures downloaded. Askyour teens if they have received messagesfrom strangers, experienced bullying orharassment or considered meeting in-personsomeone they met online. Ask your teenwhat privacy settings they have turned onfor profiles, pictures, and videos. Let themknow that when they share information on-line, just like in the public park, they are vis-ible to strangers and vulnerable to unwantedattention.

Cyber-bullyingTeens also need to know that online com-

munication can be as powerful and painfulas talking in-person. Internet harassment orcyber-bullying can range from teasing, nastycomments and vicious rumors to dangerousthreats. Let your teen know that harassinganother person or being harassed, sexuallyor otherwise, is not acceptable. While teensget a break from the pressures of high schooland junior high during the summer, cyber-bullying has no summer break and can goon 24 hours a day. It may be easy for a bullyto forget the impact he has on his victimwhen they don't see each other face to face. Ifyour teen receives a threatening or harassingmessage, he should print it out and give itto you. You can contact law enforcement ifnecessary.

On June 30, 2008, Missouri Governor MattBlunt took a step towards outlawing cyber-bullying by updating a state law to includetelephone, texting and computer commu-nications as harassment. This measure wastaken after a teen killed herself after she washarassed on MySpace. The woman accusedof perpetrating this harassment was tried inLos Angeles, where MySpace is headquar-tered, which may expedite the implementa-tion of similar laws in California. Regardless,it is incumbent upon parents to be vigilantabout monitoring the use of the internet bytheir children and teens.

Making It BetterTeens go online in multiple venues, Includ-

ing computers at home, school, friends'houses, and other places where you can'tmonitor every keystroke. A key finding tokeep in mind is that family conversations

about online profiles and activity reduceteens' vulnerability to internet risks, ac-cording to Cox Communications' recentsurvey. To prepare for a conversation withyour teen about his online activity, whichmay be an integral part of his social life, youare best served to be well versed or at leastfamiliar with the popular sites. While youmay jeopardize your teen's trust if you signonto her account/ online profile without herpermission, you might be better equipped tohave a discussion once you've visited www.myspace.com or www.facebook.com. Tryfilling out a profile to see what prompts forinformation and safety settings are available.Your teen may be a networking prodigy buthe may not have the practical experience toknow what information not to share. Helpyour teens understand the potential dangersof posting certain kinds of information on-line, including: age (real or fake!), full name,city of residence, name of school, cell phonenumber, address, personal photos of self orfriends, social security number.

"Ugh- Mom!" may be the response fromyour teenager who is terribly bothered byyour interest in his very personal onlineactivities. But, even if your teen is just talk-ing with his friends online, opening up adialogue about online identity may be aneffective and nonjudgmental way to guideyour teen to take responsibility for his online

behavior. Help your teen consider that onlineprofiles and other created content such asblogs are like his own personal media. Anonline profile, like a TV show or movie, cantell a story about him. A profile can also bean advertisement. Ask him what features ofhimself the profile "advertises." Ask yourteen what kind of person might be interestedin perusing his profile. What distinguisheshis online identity from his real-life identity?Again, all of these questions may be receivedwith a blank stare or a roll of the eyes butyou've planted the seeds and opened thedoor for communication about online safety.

Simple Steps for Online Safety at Home• Keep the computer in a common area,

rather than in a more private space.• Set internet hours and time limits.• Engage your teens in discussions about

what websites and networking sites theyfrequent.

• Remind your teen never to give pass-words away, even to close friends.

• Encourage your teen to share onlineprofiles with you.lf you're lucky enoughto see your teen's profile, offer feedbackthrough the lens of safety, not criticism.

• Teach your teens to be critical consumersof media, questioning the safety, securityand legitimacy of information and con-nections they find on the internet.

The internet is inextricably linked to your

teen's future, personally and professionally.Teach them good habits now so they can reapthe benefits of being smart, safe consumers ofnew media.

RESOURCESHere are some websites that provide helpflll information

regarding internet safety:http://www.con nectsafely. org/code/code/http://www.isafe.org/Ilttp://www.netsmartz.org/safety/safetytips.htmhttp://www.pbs.org/parents/chi ldrenandmedia/resources.

htmlhttp://www.s topcyberbullying.org/teens/index.htmlhttp://wur<.lJ.wiredsafety.org/internetlOI/blogs.htmlReferencesCox Communications Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave

/1- in Partnership with the National Center for Missing& Exploited Children (NCMEC) and John Walsh (2006).Available on line at http://www.cox.com/takeCharge/sur-veyJeslllts.asp

The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.Confronting the Challenges of Participatory ClIlture: MediaEducation for the2lst Century

Lenhardt, A., & Madden, M. (2007). The use of socialmedia gains a greater foothold in teen life as they' embracethe conversational nature of interactive online media. PewInternet & American Life Project.

Salter, J. (2008). "Missouri Governor Signs InternetHarassment Bill. " The Associated Press.

Retrieved from: http://abcnews.go.com/US/WireS tory ?id=5280338&page= I

University of Minnesota (2008, June 21). EducationalBenefits Of Social Networking Sites Uncovered. Science-Daily. Retrieved July 2, 2008, from http://www.sciencedaily.com /releases/2008/06/080620133907.htm

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