coaching skills program

© 2011 The Life Coaching Academy

Week 1

THE BUILDINGBLOCKS OF COACHING

Coaching Skills Program

Version 2011/1

Week 1THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF COACHING

This module is divided into two parts. The first part is found in the

workbook and recorded on audio. In studying this unit you will learn:-

"The history of coaching.

"How the Coaching Academy was founded.

"What coaching is and is not.

"Different methods for delivering coaching.

"The ethics and responsibilities of a coach.

The second part of this module is included in the workbook, but not on the

audio. In this second section you will find written information and guidance

about the course itself and how it works. Topics covered will include:-

"The course syllabus.

"The assessment procedures.

"The practical coaching requirements.

"The requirements for the written assignments.

"The support you will be offered.

"The accreditation process.

Included in the second section you will also find a reading list with brief

descriptions of the texts as guidance. There is space to record what you

have read, your learning points and any ideas you would like to pursue in

greater depth.

The Building Blocks of Coaching

How The Life Coaching Academy was founded.When we launched The Life Coaching Academy as Australia's first life coach

training facility in the summer of 2001, we had high hopes. The reality has

exceeded our expectations as we have grown to become the largest

organisation of its kind in Australia.

This phenomenal growth is largely the result of word-of-mouth

recommendation and, of course, we have constantly added value to our

training programmes to ensure that we retain our position as brand leader.

The Life Coaching Academy is Australia’s market leader in life coach training. The

Academy has roots in personal development and has been at the forefront

of life coach training for ten years.

The Academy operates out of offices in Queensland. 2000 coaches

from all over Australasia have trained, or are training, with The

Academy. These people have backgrounds in areas such as education,

health care, alternative medicines, counselling and therapy, sports

coaching, human resources and training, and many other careers where

“getting the most out of people and moving them forward” is seen as an

essential skill.

We are particularly proud that The Academy has raised the standards of life

coaching and life coach training and that so many of our graduates are now

helping their clients whilst earning excellent incomes from their own

practices. Our coaches go on to run full or part-time practices or they take

their skills back into the workplace. Some of our life coaches operate solely

in the private sector, some in the business world and others work in both.

egaPgnihcaoC fo skcolB gnidliuB ehT 3

What is coaching?Coaching is personal development in action. It is a completely practical

skill, underpinned by a good knowledge and understanding of the theories

and applications of personal development. It is influenced by the entire

body experience – typically defined as mind, body and spirit.

In Miles Downey’s own words, “Coaching by definition encourages

learning, invites creativity and delivers high performance. Coaching is the

art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another”.

In Take Yourself to the Top, Laura Berman Fortgang offers a more

simplistic, but equally valid definition. She says coaching is about, “Where

you were, where you are now, and overcoming the hurdles to where you

want to go”.

Life Coaching is about ‘the now and the future’. A life coach gives people

the confidence and ability to move forward in a positive manner in the

areas of their life where they crave change. Life coaching is about breaking

down barriers that prevent this change from happening and creating the

ideal environment for positive action to take place. It is a totally holistic

approach that looks at the present and sets goals for a totally successful

future.

Life coaching begins with an awareness that every human is born with the

ability to be, do or have, whatever they want in life. By the time we become

adults, many of us have lost this ability. But, eventually, we experience the

feeling that our lives are drifting off course and that “there must be

something better than this”.

Coaching can take place face to face or over the telephone. It can be used

with private individuals or within a business environment. Life coaches can

specialise in particular areas or offer a general service.


In essence, life coaching is a highly practical and portable skill that can be

tailored to suit you and your clients. It provides unlimited opportunities to

create your own successful part or full time practice. Your life coaching

skills can also be a valuable addition to your own career portfolio, which

you can use for the benefit of your employers.

What life coaching is NOT!By now you will be building up a comprehensive picture of what life

coaching is all about. As you work through the course material you will

gradually become more familiar with the role of the coach, the skills of the

coach, and the constituents of an effective coaching relationship.

Just to be absolutely clear let me reiterate that:-

Life coaching is not about the past. It does not dwell on what has

happened or why it has happened. It is not the medium through

which serious abuse or addictions can be treated. If you become

aware that your client has been the subject of physical, mental or

sexual abuse, or has an addiction to drugs or alcohol you must

suggest they seek the help of a trained professional. Coaching is

not therapy.

Life Coaching is not designed to support individuals in times of deep crisis

or serious emotional trauma. It is not designed to help individuals

overcome feelings of intense grief, deep depression or other psychological

conditions. As a coach, if you become aware that your client has a serious

problem relating to something that happened to them in the past, or

something that is unresolved and still troubling them, it is your duty to

recommend that they seek professional help. Coaching is not counselling.

Life Coaching does not teach, show or demonstrate how to approach new

situations, nor does it give people the answers or solutions to their


problems. Coaching is about helping clients to explore their own solutions;

the agenda belongs to the client. Coaching is not mentoring.

A life coach encourages and facilitates clients in identifying their own

personal challenges, dreams and goals and works alongside each client to

help them to achieve those self-defined goals.

Who trains to be a life coach?Life Coaching is a skill that can be developed through effective training. It

is a skill easily learnt by those people who…

"Are good communicators;

"Have a keen interest in personal development;

"Believe that they have the ability to motivate, inspire and guide

other people to improve their lives.

Why do people use a life coach?If it were easy to alter those things that prevent us from changing our ways

or moving forward, then wouldn’t we all do it tomorrow? The reality is that

many of us put off change. We accept our lot and just live our lives, still

wishing for change.

One could argue that help should come from family, friends or work

colleagues. The truth is that these people often come with preconceived

ideas and prejudgments about us. The reality is that we feel that we will

never move forward but are likely to just go round and round in circles.

A coach comes to us with an open mind and the skills to make things

happen! They start with a ‘blank sheet’ – they find out what makes us tick,

help us to discover what we truly want to change, and then they set about

helping us to create those changes.


Life coaching really can change lives…Ask any person who has experienced life coaching for themselves and they

will tell you that it has changed their life – that it has brought them personal

satisfaction and success, a deep sense of achievement and that they feel

energised to move forward in a positive and purposeful way.

The benefits become truly visible and tangible when clients address their

domestic situations, improve personal relationships, uncover hidden skills

and talents, kick start their careers, change jobs, rid themselves of the

things around them that are holding them back – the list is endless!

How does coaching work in the practical sense?At The Coaching Academy, coaches are trained to work with clients in two

ways:-

Face-to-face – the coach will work one-on-one with the client in an

environment conducive to the confidential nature of coaching.

Usually the client visits the coach, however, in the corporate sector,

the coach will visit the workplace. Care must be taken with the

layout of the room, seating arrangements, lighting etc. The client

and coach must feel at ease and comfortable. The coach will have

the facility to take notes and will have any necessary

documentation to hand.

Over the phone – the coach will arrange for the client to ring at a

pre-arranged time. The coach will need to be prepared to take the

call, with any paperwork and notes to hand. The coach must also

be situated in a place where they will not be disturbed. Similarly,

the client must also be situated comfortably where they can give

their undivided attention to the coaching session.


The skills you will learn through studying the modules will equip you to

coach in either situation, or both.


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)Hardly a day passes without some mention of coaching in a newspaper,

magazine or radio programme. Many of these items are testimonials from

people who have benefited from their coaching experience. Understandably,

they arouse interest in the reader or listener, generating questions in their

minds. Questions need answers.

This guide addresses, in plain language, the most frequently asked

questions about the subject that is our business and our passion.

You will soon realise that coaching is about helping people by providing

signposts to actions that will produce beneficial results. This section is

firmly in this category. It is simply a no-nonsense guide to the basics that

you need to know. Some answers conclude with a quote from an actual

client.

Think of it as your first signpost to a journey that could provide greater

happiness and success in all areas of your life.

1. What is The Coaching Academy?

2. What is coaching?

3. Where did coaching originate?

4. How does life coaching differ from therapy or counselling?

5. How does coaching differ from mentoring or consultancy?

6. What is executive and business coaching?

7. Could I become a coach?

8. Could I make a living as a coach?

9. Does The Academy give accountancy or legal advice?

10. Is there any support after the course?


1. What is coaching?Coaching is a professional and personal relationship between two people,

the coach and the client.

Some coaches and clients prefer to work face-to-face, but the majority of

coaching sessions are conducted by telephone. The client calls the coach at a

pre-arranged time for a discussion in absolute confidentiality. These calls are

generally at weekly intervals and each one typically lasts at least half an hour

and will not be longer than one hour.

It is unlikely that the client will achieve significant results in fewer than

three sessions (although the benefits begin after the very first session). It

is unusual for a coaching process to last longer than three months without

a break.

The role of the coach is to help the client. The role of the client is to agree

to a total commitment and honesty to dealing with the issues that concern

them.

Coaching is an interactive process where the coach guides and facilitates

the client’s progress towards defined goals. These may concern

relationships, career, self-confidence, financial matters, or – and this is

common – an uneasy feeling that “life has drifted off course” or “there

must be something better than this”.

Your coach is a listener who is totally non-critical and non-judgemental. As

each goal or desired outcome is defined, the coach will propose specific

actions that will move you ever closer to the results that you seek. Whilst

these actions are important, it is the outcome from those actions that

achieve success.

Each session closes with agreement on the actions that you will take before the


next call. The subsequent session will review those actions, their results and your

feelings about them. It is this immediacy and need to report back which make

coaching so effective.

"Coaching helps me define where I want to go and it gets me there

faster and more easily than if I worked on my own."


2. Where did coaching originate?The concept of a professionally trained coach running his or her own

practice originated in the United States of America.

Many personal development and self-help techniques can be traced back

to a few individuals, who took an idea and packaged it to make it

accessible to all.

Coaching has no such pedigree and no founding father. It is the result of a

gentle evolution, which owes much to these other techniques, and, like all

the best ideas, it has grown in response to a need.

Until economical transport was readily available and long before modern

communications were developed, there was probably no need for a coach.

In those days of large families, who usually lived all their lives in the same

neighbourhood, there were plenty of relatives and older siblings to call on

for help and advice.

The first popular self-help books were published in the 1930s. The post war

years saw a boom not only in these, but also in the growth of various forms

of analysis and therapies. Some of these worked well, but were usually

limited to addressing a single medical or mental condition. A few were less

effective because they created a dependence on the analyst.

That was more or less the situation until the 1980s when therapists

realised there were many life situations that embraced more than one

issue and needed a wider view. The smaller and fragmented family, the rise

in divorce rates, and an awareness of the importance of a holistic approach

to matters that were often presented as ‘stress-related symptoms’ led

some of these therapists to review their way of working.


The therapists became coaches, their patients became clients and the

coaching profession was born. Its growth has come almost totally from

‘word of mouth’ recommendation. In other words, the results have created

the phenomenal worldwide demand that now exists.

"Coaching may not be magic, but the results are certainly magical"


3. How does life coaching differ from therapy orcounselling?There are three major and significant differences that set coaching apart.

In many situations, a therapist or counsellor will look to the immediate or

distant past to prescribe an appropriate solution to a patient’s problem.

Although your coach will have a good understanding of how your past has

created your present, the focus of every coaching session will be on where

you are now and where you want to be in the future. Your coach has no

prescriptions because every situation, every session and every client is

unique.

The next major difference is that therapy or counselling may address a

single and specific physical or mental condition. Your coach is interested in

you as a whole being from an awareness of the interactions between all

areas of your life. Instead of delving into causes, your coach will focus in a

holistic manner on your mind, body and spirit to help you achieve your

objectives.

The remaining difference is that your coach has time to work with you.

During your session, your coach will be totally committed to you and your

needs. You work together but it is you who defines what you want from life

and how you will get it. Your coach is a ‘catalyst’ who will do whatever it

takes to help you.

The main purpose of coaching is to empower you to take control of every

aspect of your life along with acceptance of your personal responsibility

that is an integral part of such control. Your coach can show you how to do

this and will guide you every step of the way.

"My coach said he would be like a control tower talking me down to

a safe landing. He did this but, unexpectedly, he showed me how


to take off in exciting new directions too."


4. How does coaching differ from mentoring orconsultancy?Coaching in a business environment differs from mentoring or consultancy,

with which it is sometimes confused.

A mentor will generally guide and teach someone in a specific task or job.

The mentor will draw significantly on their own experience, will pass on

short cuts and tricks of the trade and will teach the acolyte how to gain a

specified result. The mentor will be expected to know the answers to a task

related situation.

Like a sports or physical fitness coach, the mentor has often ‘been there

and done that’. Effective coaching does not require that the coach have the

personal hands-on experience of the client’s job, profession or occupation.

Some would even claim that it is the very absence of this experience that

adds to the effectiveness of the coach, who, by standing apart, can still

see the wood from the trees.

A mentor knows the answers. Your coach works with you so that you

discover the questions and their answers for yourself, not just for a

particular task, but also for all your life situations.

Consultants are invited to investigate a particular work related situation.

They gather facts to support their qualified and quantified proposals. Then

they may be involved in the implementation of their proposals.

As with the mentor, their focus is on resolving one particular issue. The life

coach will adopt a people and personality behavioural approach where the task

or job is a by-product of the process. With their breadth and depth of

understanding about attitude and results, your life coach will often achieve

benefits that are realised faster and will last longer than those resulting from

a mentoring or consultancy approach.


"I was worried that I didn't know the answers. My coach showed me

that I did know them all along, it was just that I hadn't seen the

problem from every point of view."


5. What is executive and business coaching?As more and more clients discover the amazing benefits of professional

coaching, many of them have wondered if these same benefits can be

realised in the workplace? The answer is a resounding and undeniable,

YES.

You may have heard the phrase, ‘it is lonely at the top’. A senior manager

or executive risks losing face and respect if he or she is tempted to discuss

any doubts or worries with a subordinate or superior. An executive may not

have any peers, especially in a highly competitive commercial environment.

Some coaches decide to tailor their practice to meet the very special needs

of the executive market. Having trained in the coaching profession, they will

then take further training in the application of its principles to the executive

and boardroom situation. As always, the process will be totally results

oriented and conducted on a one-to-one basis in absolute confidentiality.

Coaching focuses on establishing and achieving personal goals. Business

coaching retains this focus, but instead of these goals being personal, they

are applied to a team or work group. The objective here is to ensure that

every member of the group has a full understanding of the corporate aim

and shares the attitudes and commitments that allow that aim to be

achieved.

The coach still works in confidence with each individual. The subtle difference

is that the organisation's objectives take precedence over the individual’s

personal targets. This process may well highlight changes that will allow one

person to contribute fully to the group’s shared endeavours and, in so doing,

may add to individual happiness and satisfaction. That, however, is a side

benefit and not the prime purpose of the business coach assignment.

Executive and business coaching are valuable resources to increase personal

and group productivity to the benefits of all concerned.

1 8egaPgnihcaoC fo skcolB gnidliuB ehT

"It is our experience that training with life coaching is 75% more

effective than when the training is delivered on its own."


6. Could I become a coach?Probably! There are no restrictions to entry on grounds of gender, race or

social background. Age is not usually a limiting issue, but it is unlikely that

anyone under 30 will have the necessary levels of maturity and judgement.

If you are more interested in people than in things, then you already have

a good start. If you truly want to help others, you are almost there. Your

attitude is more important than prior coaching knowledge.

Some successful coaches left school before their 16th birthday and have

no academic qualifications. Others have a university degree. All have the

basic ability to read and write and a talent for clear communications.

The Coaching Academy's three-month training course will build on these

basic qualities and introduce you to the broader world of personal

development. Our pre-course study material means that every student

starts the residential workshop with an equivalent level of understanding.

The course is demanding, but not difficult and it has been carefully

structured so that each lesson is learned before you move on to the next.

You will need:-

• determination,

• commitment, and

• a willingness to learn.

Apart from these basic personal qualities you will need a quiet room or

space where you can talk to your clients by telephone. You will also need

somewhere to write notes. These are the basics. Only you can determine

the time that you will devote to your practice. Some coaches see their

practice as a useful source of part-time income whilst others make it a full-

time career.

"I went to the Introduction session out of casual curiosity. Now I


have a brand new career and no need to commute to London every

day."


7. Could I make a living as a coach?Yes! Many have after their initial training. A word of caution is that, in the

same way that a driving school can teach you to pass your test, this is just

the beginning. To become a coach or driver of excellence you must add

practice, experience and on-going training.

Professional coaching is never offered as a “business opportunity”. It is a

professional practice with a code of ethics. It is not a trade, an art or a

craft.

As with so many aspects of life, your rewards are in direct relationship to what

you are prepared to put in. Coaching is not an easy option but it is a rewarding

and enjoyable career that you can work and develop from the comfort of your

own home.

If your income needs are modest, you will enjoy a good secondary source

of new money by working part time, with just one or two clients a week.

If you are committed to life coaching as a full time career, then you can

earn far more than most of the salaries advertised in the ‘Vacancies’ pages

of the national press – with the added benefits that you are in control,

totally.

If you need more money, you attract more clients or increase your fees.

During the course you are given comprehensive advice on all aspects of

selling and marketing coaching, including pricing.

You will need to spend time and money on promoting your practice, but you

do not need a significant ‘up front’ lump sum as you would if you were

buying an existing business or a franchise. You will need time out to

maintain your client notes and records, but, even so, you should be able to

create a healthy full-time income in a 38-hour week.


The course provides you with the knowledge and tools you need for

success. It provides support and on-going encouragement. Your ultimate

success is down to you, the individual. It depends upon your commitment

to your studies and your dedication to personal success.

"I thought I was charging too much. Then another coach told me to

look at the value of what I was doing, from the clients' viewpoints

and I realised I was charging too little."


8. Does The Academy give accountancy or legal advice?Not as a general rule. You should contact an expert in these fields.

9. Is there any support after the course?During and after the course you have the support of The Academy in the

form of an ‘in house coach’ and ‘coach support team’. They are always on

hand to answer your questions about anything to do with coaching. Our

network of coaching circles is part of the on-going learning experience of

coaching.


Professional Code of EthicsAll staff, tutors, students, graduates, associates and members of The

Coaching Academy must agree to follow the Code of Professional Conduct

(The Code). Alleged breaches of The Code will be fully investigated by The

Coaching Academy and, if proven, may lead to the expulsion of the guilty

party and the withdrawal, without compensation, of all and any rights

previously bestowed by virtue of that individual’s connection with The

Coaching Academy.

The CodeAll staff, tutors, students, graduates, associates and members of The

Coaching Academy agree to:-

"Always conduct themselves to the highest levels of ethics,

integrity, accountability and responsibility.

"Treat all clients and potential clients with absolute dignity,

confidentiality and respect as free and equal individuals.

"Respect the commercial confidentiality of The Coaching Academy

by not divulging business information to any third parties.

"Maintain the good reputation of the coaching profession in

general and The Coaching Academy in particular.

"Comply with both the spirit and the letter of any commercial

agreements made with clients, potential clients, professional

colleagues and The Coaching Academy.

"Make commercial agreements with clients and potential clients

that are fair and will respect all parties to such agreements.


"Represent true levels of status, title, competence and

experience in order not to mislead, misrepresent or defraud.

"Clearly state to clients and potential clients, the terms of any

commercial agreement including the expectations of both

parties.

"Make no claims or implications of outcomes that cannot be

demonstrated or guaranteed.

"Obtain written permission from any client or potential client

before releasing their names as referees.

"Respect the absolute rights of clients’ confidentiality except as

expressly permitted by the client or potential client in writing or

as required by law.

"Recommend different coaches or resources when these will be

more appropriate to the clients’ needs.

"Avoid all conflicts of interests and give notice of such potential

conflicts to The Coaching Academy. Advise both The Coaching

Academy and the client on the risk of conflict if a relationship

moves beyond

a coach/client situation. (For example a personal or business

relationship.)

"Refrain from offering professional information or advice that you

know to be confidential, misleading or where the accuracy is

beyond your competence to assess.

"Endeavour to enhance public understanding and acceptance of


professional coaching.

"Share skills and experience with fellow members and associates

of The Coaching Academy to further increase the body of

knowledge, skills and competencies of such parties.

"Respect all copyrights, agreements, work, intellectual property,

and trademarks and comply with all laws covering such areas.

"Use the tuition, definitions and works provided by The Coaching

Academy as the basis for all coaching procedures, practices and

objectives.

"Avoid coaching minors (people who have not yet had their 18th

birthday) without the express written consent of parent, guardian

or teacher as appropriate.

"Contact The Coaching Academy immediately if you find yourself

in a situation which may create conflict, litigation or bad publicity.

"Comply with all laws and by-laws of the UK and, if coaching

clients based abroad, with the laws of the clients’ country.

"Ensure that all advertisements and promotional materials,

whether verbal or written, are legal, decent, truthful, honest and

in compliance with the requirements of the UK Advertising

Standards Authority.

"Make a copy of this Code freely available to clients if they

request it.


Recommended Reading List

Take yourself to the Top by Laura Berman Fortgang

Published: Thorsons. ISBN 0-7225-3771-9

Written for everyone who has a desire to take responsibility for success in

his or her career and aim high! Packed with anecdotal evidence, and

advice. Every aspiring coach should read this cover-to-cover!

Take Time For your Life by Cheryl Richardson

Published: Bantam Books. ISBN 0-553-81301-3

Billed as a seven-step programme for creating the life you want, this is a

self-help book which coaches you through the changes you will need to

make to live your best life. Full of excellent checklists, action plans and

exercises to adapt and use with clients.

Co-Active Coaching by Laura Whitworth/Henry Kimsey-House/Phil Sandahl

Published: Davies-Black Publishing

Packed with useful information, exercises and suggestions to use with clients.

An invaluable reference book for coaches. Co-active Coaching presents a

holistic view of coaching. It offers a distinctive model of practice that involves

an active and collaborative partnership between the coach and client.

Examples of coach/client dialogue, coaching tips, skill building exercises and

a comprehensive coach’s "toolkit" make this publication an excellent resource

book for the professional coach.

Effective Coaching by Myles Downey

Published: Orion Business Books. ISBN 0-75282-108-3

Another “must have” for the aspiring and experienced coach. A book to dip into

for advice, information and ideas. Downey has written an excellent introductory

coaching textbook, covering the fundamentals of coaching in the business

environment. Using a practical approach, he explores key coaching models and

examines the tools and the skills necessary to develop into an effective coach.


Case studies are used throughout to illustrate the principles, skills and

techniques described.

Coaching for Performance by John Whitmore

Published: Nicholas Brealey. ISBN 1-85788-170-2

Although biased towards sports coaching and corporate coaching, there is

a superb exploration of the GROW model framework.

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

Published: Vermilion.

Full of useful information, anecdotal evidence, it includes some useful

exercises and ideas to use with clients.

Opening Doors Within by Eileen Caddy

Published: Findhorn Press.

For coaches with a strong interest in spiritual coaching and values - it offers

a meditative text for each day of the year.

If Success is the Game, these are the Rules by Cherie Carter-Scott

Anecdotal evidence is used to illustrate a set of ten rules, it covers limiting

beliefs and goal setting among other interesting topics.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Published: Franklin Covey co.

Full of psychology and real-life examples - firmly based in the win-win

philosophy.

7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence by Patrick E. Merlevede, Denis Bridoux

& Rudy Vadamme

Published: CHP.

Strong on theories, psychology and philosophy, but if you enjoy a challenge

it is full of information about communication, taking control, asking the


right questions etc. It is based on NLP principles.


Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Cranfield and Mark Victor Hanson

Published: Vermilion.

Packed with inspirational stories to restore your faith in human nature - as

are the other 'Chicken Soup..' books.

Self-Esteem the Key to your Child's Education by Tony Humphreys

Published: Newleaf.

Raising self-esteem is a recurring theme when working with clients. Some

interesting insights are raised in this book - of particular interest to parents

and any coaches with an education background who might be qualified to

work with children.



My reading notes:-

BOOK TITLE:________________________________ Date: ______________

BOOK TITLE:________________________________ Date: ______________

LEARNING POINTS

1

2

3

4

5

LEARNING POINTS

1

2

3

4

5


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 1 - THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF COACHING

1. COURSE MODULE/S STUDIED:

KEY LEARNING POINTS:

2. PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE (No. of practical coaching sessions this week)


3. RELEVANT READING/RESEARCH:(articles, books, internet, journals, tapes, talks, etc.)




Week 2

THE COACHING MODELOF ACHIEVEMENT


Version 2011/1

PreviewBefore embarking on the next stage of your journey towards becoming an

accredited life coach, you need to be introduced to, or reminded of, the

three core values of coaching.

You will often hear these repeated and referred to, both explicitly and

implicitly as you work your way through the course materials. Here they

are:-

"Life Coaching is non-critical.

"Life Coaching is non-judgmental.

"Life Coaching is confidential.

Taking this one stage further, these core values also apply to you as a

coach, so it naturally follows that:-

"Life coaches are non-critical.

"Life coaches are non-judgmental.

"Life coaches are confidential.

This aim of this module is to teach you how to use a framework in which

you can practise your coaching skills.

Introducing the modelYou will soon be studying the skills of listening and questioning, and will

realise that the whole essence of the coaching relationship is bound up

with your ability to listen and make the right response.

The Coaching Model of Achievement Page 46

Week 2THE GROW MODEL

However, you need a framework.This framework is popularly called the ‘GROW Model’. As you work through

this module you will:-

"Understand the benefits of using a coaching framework.

"Learn how to use the GROW model.

"Learn how to maximize the effectiveness of your coaching

sessions by using an established pattern of coaching.

"Be clear about the purpose of each stage of the model in the

coaching process.

"Be able to formulate your own questions for each stage of the

model.

"Understand how best to use the GROW model as a pro-active way

to achieve goals and solve challenges for yourself and your

clients.

"Begin to build up your own toolkit of coaching resources.

"Have the confidence to use the GROW model in your practice

sessions and with your coaching clients.

In his book, Coaching for Performance, John Whitmore effectively

summarizes the essence and purpose of the coaching relationship as

being a highly effective means of unlocking the potential of the individual

in order to maximize their performance. Coaching is about taking people

from where they are now, and supporting them in moving forwards to attain

their self-chosen goals.

Before you explore the GROW model in detail, consider the case study on

the next page from an Academy Accredited Coach.


Elizabeth’s StoryFor as long as I can remember I have had a burning desire to learn to swim.

Unfortunately neither of my parents could swim and school lessons did not

start until you were eleven years old so I had a long wait! My ambition was

so strong that I often used to dream I could swim and wake up really

disappointed with myself!

Imagine my excitement as, one Friday afternoon, our class set off for the

pool at the local High School. I was about to reach my goal. However, when

I gazed into the murky green depths of the pool I was seized with a sudden

fear, and realized that nothing on this earth was going to get me to obey

the teacher’s command to ‘Jump in!’

Once in the water (I was the only child who climbed down the steps) my next

challenge was to obey the instruction:- ‘Put your head under the water and

count to ten’. I just could not bring myself to do it, even though I still

desperately wanted to learn to swim. After two or three frustrating weeks,

feeling quite unable to do what the teacher commanded, I began to dread

Friday afternoons.

I was eventually banned from the swimming lessons with my goal intact,

but my confidence and self-esteem at rock bottom. I convinced myself that

I would never be able to master the art of swimming. Thankfully, that is not

the end of the story.

Years later, just before my thirtieth birthday, I shared my goal (Yes, it was

still a goal even though it now seemed a totally unobtainable one!) with

Terry who was the manager of a Leisure Centre.

Terry loved a challenge, and guaranteed to teach me to swim before I hit

the big three-0. I was excited yet nervous, determined to achieve and yet

terrified that I would fail and face the humiliation of being banned from the


pool again.

What was different? I dictated the pace. I began by putting my face in the

water for a few seconds and blowing bubbles and he heaped praise on me.

After the lesson I went to the local pool and practised putting my face in

the water for longer and longer until I was comfortable. I am sure you are

beginning to get the picture. I started off using two floats and him to hold

me up. Gradually I became more confident as Terry helped me to set and

attain each small step or short term goal.

I started off in the learner pool in very shallow water and gradually

progressed to the full-sized pool. The excitement of my achievements

spurred me on and I was soon happily floating on my back. The day before

my thirtieth birthday I swam, on my own, for the first time in my life. I had

achieved a life-long ambition! Very soon afterwards I was awarded my 10

metre certificate.

To this day, this has been one of the greatest achievements of my life.

Although I have a string of academic qualifications, my 10 metre swimming

certificate symbolizes, for me, the fulfillment of a lifetime ambition. It

taught me that, with the right encouragement I can be anything I want to

be, and do anything I want to do.

Turn now to Activity 1.


As you work through this module and learn more about how coaching

works, you will make connections and links with Elizabeth’s story and,

undoubtedly, with significant events in your own life.

GROW is an acronymIt is a simple and effective coaching model that can be used in both private

and workplace coaching. Although coaching never offers set prescriptions

for clients, but treats each one as a unique and holistic individual, you will

discover that coaches just love using models, metaphors and examples.

GROW is an acronym, and this is what the initials represent:-

G represents your GOALS What do you want to happen?

R represents your REALITY What is happening now?

O represents your OPTIONS What could you do?

W represents your WILL What will you do?

During a coaching session you will work through each of these stages with

your client. Using open-ended questions you will guide your client through

the process of identifying their goal, recognizing the reality of their

situation, exploring their options and finally committing to a series of

actions to achieve their goal.

Before investigating each of these stages in greater detail, there are two

key elements or values that must be at the heart of the coaching process.

These are awareness and responsibility.

AwarenessAwareness encompasses your self-awareness as a life coach; your ability

to become aware of your own personal state through this self-examination

and to achieve a greater awareness of your external environment through


the use of all your senses.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R Covey says:-

“Your self-awareness and conscience can provide a high degree of

intrinsic security, guidance and wisdom to empower you to use your

independent will and maintain integrity to the truly important.”

A high level of self-awareness will enable you to listen to your client with a

clarity of mind and perception that will inspire you to lead the client to a

greater level of awareness and understanding as the coaching session

progresses.

You must be able to interpret what they are experiencing and to use that

knowledge to the benefit of your client.

Throughout the coaching process you must actively seek to raise client

awareness by focusing their attention on what is being said, how it is being

said and in what context. This heightens awareness of the whole listening

process. It allows you to frame questions which will lead your client to a

greater sense of self-awareness and perception about their own

motivations and actions, thus leading to the setting of appropriately

challenging goals.

John Whitmore in Coaching for Performance, recognises that ‘Awareness

and responsibility are better raised by asking than by telling.’ The need to

raise client self-awareness is a vital skill that will unlock the door to a

continuous journey towards self-improvement and wonder at the magnitude

of what can be achieved.

ResponsibilityTo induce the ideal state of mind that is necessary to move towards self-


improving goals, you will need to build responsibility into your client's

decision making process.

Telling or instructing your client to take a course of action will be

demotivating by taking away the ownership of the actions that will lead

them towards achieving their goals.

Think back to Elizabeth's story. Continually facilitating your client in

accepting responsibility for their own decisions and goals will ensure that

the coaching relationship grows and succeeds, and that your client

experiences a real sense of achievement in realising goals which they have

identified for themselves.

The GROW model is a working coaching framework which allows you to

move your clients through a series of stages towards achieving their goals.

It relies on your skill in using effective, open-ended questions in each stage

of the framework, and has to be used within the context of raising client

awareness levels whilst ensuring that your client retains and accepts

responsibility for carrying out their agreed actions.

Although there are no prescriptive questions that you must use in the

GROW model, there are sets of questions that naturally fit each section.

In a moment you will be invited to turn to Activity 2 and work through the

GROW model for yourself. This self-coaching exercise will enable you to

have some experience of what the GROW model is about, what it is in

context, and the benefits of it both for you and your clients. You will learn

through your own experience, some important aspects of the GROW model,

how it can be used and how it works. This valuable experience will enable

you to put what you have learnt into practice. You’ll get a real feel for how

it can work for you and your clients.


Before you start…

"Write from your heart – do not spend too much time thinking

about what you are going to write.

"Remember your answers will never be judged.

"Your answers are totally confidential – so be totally honest with

yourself!

This is a unique opportunity for you to identify and establish an issue, a

topic or a goal that you wish to be coached upon. So, if you are ready to

have a go and you want to be inspired by your own ability to find a goal, you

are about to identify your goal, and make it happen for you!

Consider each question individually. You may find that some questions

have more meaning and depth for you at this particular moment in your life

than others. That’s entirely normal. Feel free to answer the relevant

questions and leave gaps for the ones that are not relevant. You may even

find that your answers trigger some additional questions of your own.

That’s fine too. Jot down the additional questions in the space provided.

You might find some questions go over your head and some really

resonate, they kind of sink within you somewhere. Only answer the

questions that seem important and let the other ones go. The aim and

purpose of going through this process is to identify an issue, a topic or a

goal that you wish to work through using the GROW model.

Once you have gone through the model yourself you can then apply it any

time, any place anywhere. You will be able to apply it to yourself, a

colleague, a friend or a member of your family. Enjoy the process, keep an

open mind, be receptive to whatever crops up – write it down even if it

appears to make no sense what ever to you in the beginning. This is not a

time for judging yourself, or criticizing yourself.


The questioning process starts by establishing a goal in order to give the

person (you) something to aim for. Further questions help you to clarify

where you are now, and remind you what you have done about the issue,

the topic or the goals so far.

Questions are then used to help you come up with different options that

you could do to move yourself forward in terms of your issue, or topic etc.

Then you will select a particular option to work on. Your answers will then

be used to create a plan of action for that all important first step.

The GROW Model avoids many of the problems of other processes for

example, have you ever heard someone say, “This is our objective and this

is what you will do about it” ? It appears sensible at face value but firstly

it involves only the goal or the objective, and it doesn’t belong to you. It

also ignores reality and options. Secondly, it employs a command or control

style of management – then ‘do as I say’ approach.

Maybe you have heard, ‘We have a problem here, what do you think we

might do about it?’ This gives us reality and options but no goal and no will.

GROW covers all aspects. As you follow the questions and practice using

the GROW model for yourself, you will see it covers all the stages of a

successful coaching process.

Have a go, enjoy the process and be open-minded as to what happens. It

may be that you want to take your time over answering each relevant

question, do take that time. This is not a test of seeing how quickly you can

rush to the end. Sometimes we procrastinate and think other things are

more relevant than spending time on ourselves. This is not true. About an

hour of your time spent working through the following questions will be of

a great benefit in the weeks, months, and years to come.

Firstly, you need to establish the issue, topic or goal that you wish to be


coached upon. This may take something between 5-10 minutes. That’s just

an estimate, it’s up to you how long you want to spend on it or how little

time you want to spend on it.

Turn to the worksheet at Activity 2 and complete it as you answer the

questions starting on the next page…


Question 1Think about one particular issue or challenge in your life at the moment.

This may be in the area of career, relationships, finances, self-esteem,

desires, achievements or any other area that is important to you at this

time.

Here is an example to get you thinking on the right wavelength:-

‘I feel as if my job is taking over my life, but it pays well and I need the

money!’

When you have written your answer, consider the following:-

"How real is it?

"How important it is to you right now?

"Have you written your topic or issue down in several sentences?

"Or is it just a few words?

Your next step is to write your topic or issue in one sentence that you can

easily keep in your mind.

Have another look at your topic or issue.

Have you written it in positive or negative terms?

If you have phrased your goal in the negative take a few moments to re-

phrase it in positive terms.

Is your topic or issue specific enough to become a goal?

Do you need to add something else to make it specific?

It is OK not to be sure at this point because you will gain more clarity as

you work through the next session too. Take a moment to review the topic

or review your issue in terms of specifics. Is it specific enough?

Now is the time to decide what you want to achieve in this session. This is

a first step on the road towards achieving your ultimate goal.


What do you want to achieve during this session?

Again, be specific. Maybe you want to gain clarity on your goal in terms of

how to go about achieving it. Or, maybe it’s about identifying a key step

towards achieving it.

When you have completed your answers, continue with the next question.

Question 2What from of outcome or result are you seeking by the end of this self-

coaching experience?

Having identified a topic or issue, the next part in the process is the G for

goal. It is about establishing a goal. This may take about 10-15 minutes,

take the amount of time that’s right for you. This step allows you to gain

even more clarity as to the real goal that you wish to work upon. There are

nine questions that relate to this section. They are your start point.

Turn the page…


G is for GOAL1. Think about your topic/issue and take yourself forward to a point

in time when the issue is as you want it to be. What do you

notice that shows you have achieved the goal? Or, if it is a

problem you want to solve, how do you know this has happened?

2. What are you doing that shows you have achieved the goal?

Make a quick note.

3. What are you hearing that tells you that you have achieved your

goal, or solved the issue?

4. How are you feeling at this point in the future?

5. What are you saying to yourself?

6. When do you want to be in this position you can see in the

future? What timescale do you have in mind? Is it next week?

Next month? Next year? It must be realistic. If you have a big

career goal and a longer timescale, you might want to focus on

a part of the goal in a shorter timescale.

7. How challenging or exciting is achieving this goal? If it is too

challenging break it down into an element you can achieve within

the timescale you have set. If it is not challenging enough, you

will either achieve it without trying, or you will lose interest. Do

you need to add anything to it to make it more challenging?

8. How will you know that you have achieved your goal? Is there a

measurement you can use?

9. Where do you have control or influence with regard to this goal?

Congratulations! You have now completed the GOAL section of your

personal GROW model. In the next section you are invited to explore the

realities of your current situation. The ‘R’ of the GROW model.

This will probably take 10-15 minutes, but take as much time as you need

to take. Answer the questions that seem relevant to you and bypass the

others. There are nine questions in this section.


R is for REALITY1. What is going on right now that tells you that you have an issue

or a problem?

2. As well as what is happening, what is missing from your current

situation that you would like to have?

3. What is happening now that is good that you want to keep

happening to contribute to achieving your goal?

4. What have you done so far to improve things?

5. What were the results you got from doing these things?!

6. What obstacles or possible barriers are in your way that prevent

or hinder you from moving forward?

7. What resources do you already have to help you to achieve your

outcome? (skills, experience, qualifications, personal qualities,

talents, time, enthusiasm, money, support etc.)

8. What other resources will you need? Briefly, write down where

you will get them.

9. The final step is to look back to your goal for a minute. The one

you identified in identifying your topic or issue. Is it still relevant,

or has it changed? Make any changes or adjustments, if it’s still

okay, leave it alone.

Well done! You have completed the REALITY section of your GROW model.

You have already had a taste of what life coaching is all about – stating the

present situation in real and quantifiable terms. Perhaps this is the very

first time you have faced up to an issue in this way and actually written

down the answers instead of churning them over and over in your mind. If

so, you may be experiencing the sensation of a weight being lifted form

your shoulders.

Now consider your OPTIONS. This takes about 10-15 minutes. Having

developed your topic or issue into a goal and clarified what is going on or

not going on. You are now able to decide where you want to start to move


forward to set about achieving your goal, considering the options available

to you.

The ‘O’ in the GROW model stands for OPTIONS. Options are about what

you could do, not necessarily about what you will do. So, let your mind run

free. Brainstorm all the possibilities of what you might do in relation to this

issue or goal. Keep your ideas free from judgment or criticism.

If you try to think of one good idea, you might fail and get despondent so

try to think of 10 ideas, even if some of them appear too outrageous or

impossible. One of them might spark another thought that gives you a

brilliant idea. So, remember, you are looking for a first step not one idea

that will crack the whole issue. There are 12 questions in this section for

considering your options. As in the previous sections, some of them may

be relevant, some of them may not. Answer the questions that are relevant

to you. What possible options do you have? Remember to brainstorm all

the possibilities.


O is for OPTIONS1. What could you do to move yourself just one step forward right

now?

2. What else could you do if you didn’t have to explain what you

were doing, or be answerable to anybody?

3. What could you do if money were unlimited?

4. If you could devote all of your time to this one thing, what would

you do then?

5. What could you do if you did not have to live with the

consequences?

6. If you went to your manager or friend with this problem, what

might they suggest?

7. If you secretly know what you should do first, what would it be?

8. Have a look back over your list of options and read each of

them carefully. Check to see if any of them spark another idea

you could also do?

9. Choose one of the options. Choose one that will move you

forward just one step. Choose the easiest thing to do, or the

cheapest, or the quickest, or the one you feel most

comfortable doing, but choose one right now. Circle it, highlight

it.

10. If you do the one thing that you have chosen, just check. Will it

move you forward? If not, choose something else. If it will move

you forward, stay with it.

11. What is the benefit to you of doing this one thing? Will it make

you feel better? Will it mean you will know something new? Will

it change your opinion of something? Will it relieve the stress a

little? There has to be a benefit. Identify it and write it down.


Congratulations! You have successfully completed the ‘OPTIONS’ section

of the GROW model. By now your mind may be spinning with several

options, including some you might never had considered before. Now the

fun really starts as you begin to create a brighter future for yourself!

The final part of the model, and probably the most important, because you

can have a goal, know what the reality and are aware of the options. But,

unless you are willing to commit to it; just forget it, there will be no point.

This section has the most questions. 18 questions in all. Some of them

will resonate with you, some may not. You decide. It will probably take

about 10-15 minutes. You have your option and you have your first step to

move you forward. So now do something with it. This session changes an

idea into an action and identifies what you will do.


‘W’ is for WILL and WAY FORWARD1. What are you going to do?

2. What will you do? List the actions you must go through to

complete this thing you have chosen.

3. How will these actions meet your main goal?

4. When are you going to take these actions? What’s the

timescale?

5. How long do you think that that list of actions will take you?

Can you identify anticipated timescales for each item?

6. Should anyone else be involved in this list of questions you are

going to do to complete this thing, or this issue, or this goal

that you have chosen?

7. What do you want this person, or these people, to do?

8. When will you tell them?

9. Who else should know that you will be doing these things?


11. At what point in your plan will you tell them?

12. Whatever your first step is, can you think of any obstacle or

barrier that might stop you from doing it?

13. How likely is it to stop you? Is it likely, or not likely? If it is not

likely that is fine. But if it is very likely, what can you do to make

your first step more achievable?

14. How will you overcome this obstacle, or obstacles?

15. What will you do to stop it from stopping you?

16. Earlier you wrote down when you would complete this first step.

Is that timescale still valid?

17. Is there anything else you need to consider before you begin

this first step?

18. In identifying your goal you identified when you would have

achieved it. You also identified a timescale in this section as to

when you would begin your first step. Put the two together. When

will you actually start in terms of date? Be specific – day, time,

place. Write it down in your diary.


You are there! You have now completed your own experience of a life

coaching session. It will have shown you how some very simple sounding

questions can yield some very profound thinking and answers. perhaps you

have found that your intuition provided answers that surprised you. Perhaps

you have already identified some great new possibilities.

You have worked through all the stages of the GROW model. You have

identified your goal, you have worked through reality, explored your options

and identified what it would take for you to be willing to be commit to the

action.

CommitmentThis section takes about 3-5 minutes.

Using a scale of 1-10, answer these questions. (1= definitely cannot or,

could not be lower. 10=definitely could not be higher.)

"How strong is your intention to take that first step on a scale of

1-10?

"How high is your enthusiasm for taking that first step on a scale

of 1-10?

"How strong is your commitment to taking that first step on a

scale of 1-10?

Experience shows that a score of 7 or below on intention and commitment

means that it will not get done.

If you have a score of 7 or less, ask yourself a powerful, incisive question.

'What has to happen in order for me to raise that score?' Maybe that is

where the first step should be.

If you have worked through this and answered all the questions that


seemed relevant to you, you have established your goal, explored the

current reality, identified and explored the various options available to you,

chosen an option and evaluated your intention, enthusiasm and your

commitment towards achieving a first step.

Well done. Congratulations! You are in the top 3% of the population who

commit to writing down their goals.

Of course, you can work through the process as many times as you wish

to. It can be used for all kinds of purposes and with anyone who wants to

commit to living a better life.

When you use the GROW model with others, you will need to follow their

thinking by listening fully to their answers and asking related questions.

The self-coaching questions are a starting point which you can use, modify,

add to, adapt and, in some instances, discard. It’s entirely up to you.

One of the most powerful methods of learning anything is by actually going

through the experience yourself. Obviously the self-coaching exercise does

not give you an opportunity to react to and interact with a real coach,

however the purpose of the exercise was to give you the experience of

working through the GROW model. Your experience will have reinforced the

sequential aspects of the model.

As a coach, your role is to make the GROW model work for your client. It is

time to study the different stages of the model in greater depth to clarify,

enhance and deepen your knowledge and understanding of how and why

the model works.


This section includes examples of actual coachingdialogue.

You will have noticed that your self-coaching session began when you

identified an issue or topic that you wished to be coached on. This is often

referred to as the ‘Topic’ or ‘Target’ stage. It might help to think of the

GROW Model as the T-GROW model by adding that first stage.

At the target stage you must ascertain what the client wants out of life,

their underlying beliefs and values, and through the use of open-ended

questions peel back the layers until this target becomes defined as a

positive statement.

Some clients will be very comfortable with expressing what they do not

want and your skill is in encouraging them to reframe negative ideas into

positive statements. They also have a tendency to belittle their gains by

attaching a negative statement to a positive action.

It is useful to remember that phrase from professional development guru,

Brian Tracy, ‘but is the great eraser’, both when talking to a client as a

coach, and when listening to a client.

Your clients should be encouraged to express their goals in terms of

positive outcomes, as the subconscious mind cannot distinguish between

the positive and the negative. A useful technique is to ask your client to

write down their goal, read it out, and then work with you to phrase the goal

in positive terms.

Facilitating your client in determining his target or aim in life (long term

goal) will naturally lead into the next section of the model, which is to

establish the next step, or short term goal which can be worked at over the

coming week. At this stage it is crucial to remember the words of Laura


Berman Fortgang in Take Yourself to the Top, ‘Coaches work on solutions,

not problems.’


Questions at the goal-setting stage should begin to break the goal down

into manageable steps. You might choose to say:-

"You have selected plenty of ideas to work on, which one do you

want to choose for this session?

At this stage it is worth re-framing and checking that you have ‘heard’ the

message being spoken correctly:-

"So am I right in thinking that… or

"Would it be fair to say that… or

"Am I hearing that you want to… or

"Can I just check that I’m getting the right message…

This gives your client a chance to agree, or tighten up on their explanation

so that there is no misunderstanding of the common purpose that is being

worked towards by both of you.

Failure to check your understanding of your client’s goal at this stage could

mean that some of the session is wasted, and the client feels frustrated

and let down at the end of the session. Some clients need to be gently

redirected a number of times so that the real essence of their problem, or

‘challenge’ is teased out. Re-framing questions are very useful here, and

should incorporate factual evidence offered by the client:-

"You say that you spend a lot of time with various groups of

people, some of whom will help you to establish your new

business, and others who you work for on a voluntary basis.

Would I be right in thinking that you would like to concentrate your

efforts on your fee-paying clients?

This gives the client a window of opportunity to refine or redefine their goal

before being moved on to the reality check.


Having determined the client’s goal, the next set of questions is used to

explore the REALITY of the current situation for the client. A good link to

this could be:-

"Great, you’ve successfully decided where you want to go, now

let’s explore where you are now… or

"I’d like you to describe the current situation in a bit more detail…

or

"Now we know where you’re going, let’s look are where you are

now with this issue…

During this questioning phase, encourage your client to use descriptive

terminology, rather than evaluative statements. Occasionally, extra

information will lead to redefining or refining the goal.

At this stage it is important to probe underneath the surface, as the real

root of the problem may need to be teased out through facilitating the client

in becoming self-aware. Your client must be asked searching questions

which make him think, examine his thoughts and actions closely, and be

actively engaged in the coaching process. Once again a feedback loop must

be set up as a check for both parties.

Reality phase questions will be prefaced by what, where, when and who.

These interrogatives will draw out the facts, whilst raising the self-

awareness of your client. During this phase, clients may suddenly

experiencing a blinding flash of self-awareness, ‘Ah! Now I see where this

is leading to…’ This is an excellent moment for the coach to make use of

targeted praise, and reminding the client that he has come to this

realisation through his own analysis of his problems (with your expert

guidance, of course!) If this moment should occur, it is still vital to gather

all necessary information in the ‘Reality’ section before moving on to the

options.


Honesty

This section is the honesty section that should give you a full picture of

where your client stands now on the issue chosen. It also serves to raise

client self-awareness in readiness for the 'options' stage.

By re-framing and using a feedback loop, you have clarified what is

happening and what is not happening in the life of the client. You are ready

to take your client through the options section of the GROW Model. This is

where you help your client to turn their issue into a goal – coaching deals

with goals, not issues! The goal for the session will be the first step, or

short-term goal that will be part of the journey towards achieving the main

goal or target.

At the options stage you are seeking solutions from your client, using

questions that will allow lateral thought and exploration of their

unconscious thoughts. At no time should the you impose your own thoughts

or solutions on the client, or be influenced by your personal experiences.

It is useful to ask your client to have a pen or pencil and pad ready. Using

an urgent tone, ask your client to let their imagination run riot and write

down all possible actions that will achieve their goal – however unlikely or

ridiculous. The ultimate aim is to move the client on a step nearer to their

goal by the end of the coaching session. Other prompts which may inspire

the client to consider available options might be to ask them to consider

which idea will be the easiest, cheapest or the most comfortable.

Always remember to ask the client as to whether or not the preferred option

meets the chosen goal.

These questions will encourage the client to think ‘outside the box’, after

all, if they have had this problem for some time and have consistently

avoided solving it, or used strategies that have failed, a new way of


approaching the problem will be required to give the desired result!

Although some of the options may seem worthy of instant dismissal, good

ideas are often sparked by such suggestions, so it is important to

encourage the client to fantasize about possible solutions!

Once your client has amassed a list of options, the next step is to lead the

way through them, encouraging consideration of the advantages and

disadvantages of the various choices. Always keep the goal in mind as the

client may want to go off at a tangent. Questions such as:-

"Which option will give you the result you want?

"Can I take you back a step… remind me of your goal (it is vital that

the client does this – it is their goal, not yours! If you do the

reminding and reinforcement of the chosen goal, it may appear that

you are chastising the client for losing sight of the goal. Far better for

the client to experience that enlightening moment – ‘Oh, I see what

you’re getting at…’)

Throughout the ‘options’ period of the coaching session, the responsibility

for making decisions rests entirely with the client. Your role is to heighten

client self-awareness to a level where he is able to select his own solution

based on his own self-knowledge and understanding of himself and the

problem. A solution imposed by the coach will lack those two main

ingredients – awareness and responsibility. The client must feel ownership

of his goals, actions and ultimate success; he must be empowered to

succeed, not commanded to succeed!

If your client appears to have come to a full-stop, and carefully worded

questions allowing sufficient ‘silence time’ for the client to consider and

frame his answer have not fully explored the options available, ask

permission to make a suggestion. Suggestions must be carefully phrased

and offered, without a hint of them being offered as the preferred solution,


prefaced with:-

"Would you like a suggestion from me?

"Would you like another option to consider?

Valuing the options already given by the client will make your suggestions

just another one to add to the list:-

"You’ve already come up with two interesting ideas we can look at,

how would you feel about considering… or

"Another option might be…

As you build the coaching relationship and rapport, skilled questioning may

well eliminate the need for suggestions. The more skilled you become at

‘reading’ the client, the less likely you are to feel that the client is ‘stuck’

and needs direct help in order to move on.

Once a list of options has been drawn up, and noted down by you and your

client, you can lead them to consider the advantages and disadvantages of

each option. At this stage, encourage a check back that the chosen option

gives the desired result to meet the chosen goal.

When the client has explored the merits of all the options in relation to their

goal, it is an opportune time for the coach to ask the client to describe

what success will be like for them, taking care to use language congruent

with their preferred thinking style:-

"What does success look / feel / sound like to you?

"Describe how you will feel when (not if!) you succeed.

Speaking in positive language, in the present tense, will reinforce the goal

in the unconscious mind. Ask the client to link how they will respond to their

success with their goal:-

"I will feel a warm glow of satisfaction when I do this (the action)

and this happens (achievement of the goal).


This will reinforce the positive aspect of achieving a defined goal and lead

neatly into the ‘WILL’ or action section of the GROW model.

The ‘will’ or action section of the GROW model is concerned with helping

the client to find the way forward; agreeing a plan to put their chosen goal

into action. It flows naturally from the previous section, and ideally begins

with you asking the client to confirm which option he is going to choose and

how this links with his goal; a positive affirmation of intent.

Using a funneling process, you will then assist the client in fine-tuning the

first step or steps they are going to take. Do not let them veer off course

at this stage, or be content with bland bridging statements of intent. For

example, a client might commit himself to writing an important report by

the end of next week, and be content with that. You must pin down the

specific timetable:-

COACH - So you’ve decided to complete the report by next week.

That’s great! When will you start?

CLIENT – I thought I might make a start on Tuesday or Wednesday.

COACH – Realistically, which is the better of the two days?

CLIENT – Wednesday, yes I’ll definitely try to make a start on

Wednesday.

COACH – You said ‘try’ on Wednesday, is there anything stopping

you from actually making a start on Wednesday?

CLIENT – No, Wednesday it is!

COACH – I want you to think about how you spend your time on a


Wednesday – when will be a good time to set aside for

writing the report?

CLIENT – I’ll start Wednesday evening.

COACH – What will be a good time for you?

Be firm and encouraging. Keep going until the client has agreed to allocate

enough periods of time – each day if necessary – in order to achieve his

goal. Ask them to write their agreed time-scale in their diary so that 'we can

check back together' the following week.

To keep coaching calls moving and on schedule, towards the end of the call

it is helpful to say, ‘In our last five minutes…’ Closing on an upbeat and

positive note will leave the client fired up for action.

You will find that clients often begin their course of action the minute the

call has finished! This ensures a very upbeat and positive start to the next

call. Asking the client if the call helped them to move forward is very

powerful and leaves them feeling great about the power of a coaching

session.

Ending a session with praise, reinforcement of the goal and actions,

followed by an upbeat ‘I look forward to hearing of your success next week’

is an excellent method of closing a call.

Always avoid any phrases which give any reason for doubting the client’s

good intentions – ‘I hope to…’, ‘Perhaps next week…’ Tell the client you

are looking forward to their call next week and praise their hard work.

During a coaching call remember to actively listen for clues about your

client, through what is being said, the way it is being said and the use of


silences. Building a picture of your client’s comfort zones, noting throw

away remarks that are recurring and may have an underlying significance in

moving the client from where he is to where he wants to be. Using the

reframe technique these patterns of behaviour can be skilfully fed back to

the client with reference to their significance to the issue to be addressed:-

"I notice that you’ve mentioned ‘x’ several times – how does this

effect the issue you want to explore?

"Or during the call, a supposed peripheral issue can be

acknowledged with a ‘Would you like to come back to that later?’

or a more insistent ‘We’ll come back to that issue in a moment’

if the client repeatedly shows that he is unwilling to explore an

important area relating to his goals.

This approach might be doing the client a favour and unlocking the real

issue underlying the surface concerns which may be being voiced in an

unconscious attempt to mask the crux of the problem. To make this

approach the coach will have to have established very open and trusting

relationship with the client, and would almost certainly be unwise to

attempt this in a first session!

SummaryYour study of the GROW model is now complete! If you have managed to

work through all the exercises you will have gained:-

"a good working knowledge of each stage of the GROW model.

"an understanding of how and why a coaching model works.

"the confidence to practice using this model with your clients.

Think of the GROW model as a framework for solving problems, identifying

goals, exploring reality, looking at options, and securing a commitment to

living a better life.


There is one final exercise, Activity 3. You are encouraged, through your

reading and practice, to collect ideas for questions under each of the

GROW model headings.

One final thought – as you practice and become increasingly confident in

using this model you will notice that coaching sessions often dip in and out

of the sections of the model. Try not to think of the framework as straight-

jacket – have the confidence to be flexible and to use this simple and

effective model to help all your clients to fulfill their true potential!

Happy practicing!


Activity 1

Background Case-study – Elizabeth’s Story

You have read the story. Record your own observations, and at the end of

this sheet, make a note of your learning points.

1. What stopped Elizabeth reaching her goal when she was eleven?

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2. How did Elizabeth feel about what happened?

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3. What enabled Elizabeth to reach her goal when before she was thirty?

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4. How did Elizabeth feel about what happened?

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My learning points:-

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Activity 2

Use these sheets to record your answers as you work through the text. It

is important to use the module to support you as there are additional

questions and prompts to guide you through the process.

TOPIC OR ISSUE

Question 1: Think about one particular issue or challenge in your life at the

moment. This may be in the area of career, relationships, finances, self-esteem,

desires, achievements or any other area that is important to you at this time.

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Your next step is to write your topic or issue in one sentence that you can

easily keep in your mind.

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If you have phrased your goal in the negative take a few moments to re-

phrase it in positive terms.

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Question 2: ‘What from of outcome or result are you seeking by the end of

this self-coaching experience?’

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G IS FOR GOAL

1. Think about your topic/issue and take yourself forward to a point in time

when the issue is as you want it to be. What do you notice that shows you

have achieved the goal? Or, if it is a problem you want to solve, how do you

know this has happened? Note it down.

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2. What are you doing that shows you have achieved the goal? Make a

quick note.

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3. What are you hearing that tells you that you have achieved your goal, or

solved the issue?

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4. How are you feeling at this point in the future?

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5. What are you saying to yourself…

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6. When do you want to be in this position you can see in the future? What

timescale do you have in mind? Is it next week? Next month? Next year? It

must be realistic. If you have a big career goal and a longer timescale, you

might want to focus on a part of the goal in a shorter timescale.

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7. How challenging or exciting is achieving this goal? If it’s too challenging

break it down into an element you can achieve within the timescale you’ve

set. If it’s not challenging enough, you will either achieve it without trying,

or you will lose interest. Do you need to add anything to it to make it more

challenging?

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8. How will you know that you have achieved your goal? Is there a

measurement you can use?

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9. Where do you have control or influence with regard to this goal?

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R IS FOR REALITY

1. What is going on right now that tells you that you have an issue or a problem?

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2. As well as what is happening, what is missing from your current situation

that you would like to have?

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3. What is happening now that is good that you want to keep happening to

contribute to achieving your goal?

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4. What have you done so far to improve things?

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5. What were the results you got from doing these things?

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6. What obstacles or possible barriers are in your way that prevent or

hinder you from moving forward?

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7. What resources do you already have to help you to achieve your

outcome? (skills, experience, qualifications, personal qualities, talents,

time, enthusiasm, money, support etc.)

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8. What other resources will you need? Briefly, write down where you will

get them.

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9. The final step is to look back to your goal for a minute. The one you

identified in identifying your topic or issue. Is it still relevant, or has it

changed? Make any changes or adjustments, if it’s still okay, leave it alone.

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O IS FOR OPTIONS

1. What could you do to move yourself just one step forward right now?

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2. What else could you do if you didn’t have to explain what you were doing,

or be answerable to anybody?

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3. What could you do if money were unlimited?

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4. If you could devote all of your time to this one thing, what would you do

then?

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5. What could you do if you did not have to live with the consequences?

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6. If you went to your line manager or friend with this problem, what might

they suggest?

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7. If you secretly know what you should do first, what would it be?

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8. Have a look back over your list of options and read each of them

carefully. Check to see if any of them spark another idea you could also do?

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9. Choose one of the options. Choose one that will move you forward just

one step. Choose the easiest thing to do, or the cheapest, or the quickest,

or the one you feel most comfortable doing, but choose one right now.

Circle it, highlight it.

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10. If you do the one thing that you have chosen, just check. Will it move

you forward? If not, choose something else. If it will move you forward, stay

with it.

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11. What is the benefit to you of doing this one thing? Will it make you feel

better? Will it mean you will know something new? Will it change your

opinion of something? Will it relieve the stress a little? There has to be a

benefit. Identify it and write it down.

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‘W’ IS FOR WILL AND WAY FORWARD.

1. What are you going to do?

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2. What will you do? List the actions you must go through to complete this

thing you have chosen.

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3. How will these actions meet your main goal?

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4. When are you going to take these actions? What’s the timescale?

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5. How long do you think that that list of actions will take you? Can identify

anticipated timescales for each item?

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6. Should anyone else be involved in this list of questions you’re going to

do to complete this thing, or this issue, or this goal that you have chosen?

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7. What do you want this person, or these people, to do?

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9. Who else should know that you will be doing these things?

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11. At what point in your plan will you tell them?

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12. Whatever your first step is, can you think of any obstacle or barrier that

might stop you from doing it?

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13. How likely is it to stop you? Is it likely, or not likely? If it’s not likely

that’s fine. But if it’s very likely, what can you do to make your first step

more achievable? (If you didn’t understand that, it means looking at your

first step being something to reduce the barrier.)

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14. How will you overcome this obstacle, or obstacles?

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15. What will you do to stop it from stopping you?

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16. Earlier you wrote down when you would complete this first step. Is that

timescale still valid?

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17. Is there anything else you need to consider before you begin this first

step?

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18. In identifying your goal you identified when you would have achieved it.

You also identified a timescale in this section as to when you would begin

your first step. Put the two together. When will you actually start in terms

of date? Be specific – day, time, place. Write it down in your diary.

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Activity 3Use these pages to list useful questions that you might want to use with a

client when working through the GROW model:

GOAL

TOPIC


OPTIONS

REALITY

The Coaching Model of Achievement Page 9 1

WILL


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 2 - THE COACHING MODEL OF ACHIEVEMENT








Week 3

BUILDING RAPPORTWITH YOUR CLIENT

Based on material provided by John Cassidy-Rice



Version 2011/1

PreviewRapport is one of the most popular words in the life coaching lexicon. In

this module you will explore what it means within this context and gain an

understanding of why it is so important. You are invited to try some

practical examples for yourself and to identify areas where your own skills

in establishing and building rapport may need a little corrective work.

It will only be a little work because, as a human being, you already have the

necessary skills and they are an integral part of you but, perhaps because

you have not maintained a conscious awareness of them, they may have

become slightly rusty.

Rapport definedMost dictionaries will offer a definition that goes something like this; 'A

harmonious or sympathetic relation or connection'. In life coaching this

needs a little more dressing. A more appropriate definition would be 'Your

ability to enter into each client's model of the world so that you can give

them the feeling of being totally understood'.

The key word here is 'understood' because understanding is at the core of

coaching. As their coach, you will be allowed to share a client's innermost

dreams, their goals and their confidences. They may tell you things that

they have never shared with another person. To do this, they will have to

like you and trust you. When you establish rapport, you are sending the

message that you are very similar to them and this is important because

'people like people who are like them'.

Building Rapport with your Client Page 99

Week 3BUILDING RAPPORT WITH YOUR CLIENT

Based on material provided by John Cassidy-Rice

So, rapport is all about effective communication. In this area, Dr.

Birtwhistle's 1970's research is often quoted. He determined that 55% of

your meaning is communicated by your physiology, 38% from your tone of

voice and a mere 7% from the words that you use.

Dr Birtwhistle was referring to the situation as it refers to face-to-face

dialogue. According to coach and trainer, John Cassidy-Rice, the dynamics

change when applied to telephone conversations, with particular reference

to coaching by telephone. His research suggests physiology accounts for

43% of received meaning, tonality accounts for 42% and the remaining 15%

derives from your choice of words.

Before we leave the topic of definitions, you need to be clear about the

meaning of physiology in building coaching rapport. It is the word used to

describe your posture and the way that you feel when you are coaching.

Turn to Activity 1 for a practical example that you can try for yourself.

Aspects of languageTo establish and build rapport you must speak your client's language. Here

is an example:-

A music tutor was trying to explain how to play a particularly

troublesome piece of music to a student. "Look at the music sheet

and get a picture inside your head of where you come in, and keep

on eye on me." "It doesn't feel right," said the student.

The tutor continued painting the picture but the student still did not

get the point. His pal whispered to him. "You know when you are

skateboarding. You turn in mid air and hold out until the very last

second. That's the feeling he wants you to get with the music."


The student got it at once. His friend knew the words that connected with the

student's thinking process. The tutor did not. As a coach, you must know the

words that your client uses to think with. When you use these words, you will

make it easy for them to answer your questions and you will understand each

other perfectly. Here is how you do it, whether you are coaching face-to-face

or by telephone.

Human beings process information by using their five main senses of

seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting. These allow the mind to code

and understand what is happening. Although everyone has these senses,

some will be more developed or favoured than the others and it these

preferred senses that will be used to represent the world.

Once you are aware of this, you can detect the preferred sense of anyone

that you are talking to. In the earlier example, the music tutor was clearly

a 'visual' person as revealed by using 'look', 'picture' and 'eye'. The

student was a 'feeling' person - in fact he used the word 'feel'. His pal,

picking up on this, used the same 'feeling' speech pattern and there was

immediate understanding.

Here are some commonly heard conversational clues:-

A 'seeing' or 'visual' preference individual will favour phrases like:-

"That looks right

"I get the picture

"See what I mean

"That is colourful, coming from you

"Show me what you mean.

A 'hearing' or 'auditory' preference individual will favour these:-

"Sounds good to me

"Clear as a bell

"We are on the same wavelength


"I hear what you say

"Listen to this.

A 'feeling', 'tactile' or 'kinaesthetic’ personality will go for:-

"I feel good about this

"That touched me here

"I cannot get a grip on this

"I felt right at home

"I was feeling rough at the time.

Here are some examples of 'smelling' or 'olfactory' verbal clues;

"This smells fishy

"I smell a rat

"As sweet as a rose

"On the scent of something good

"She used an aromatic example.

And finally, the 'tasting' or 'gustatory' verbal clues;

"Let us chew it over

"Like eating a piece of cake

"That is how the cookie crumbles

"It left a nasty taste

"I can get a flavour of it.

Although the olfactory and gustatory preferring types are rare, you may well

come across them at some stage in your coaching. A further clue is that

olfactory types will often sniff before they make a decision - to see if it

smells right and, gustatory people may smack their lips or make swallowing

sounds - to get the taste.

There are also a few non-specific phrases like 'I think we need more time',

'It makes sense', 'I understand' and 'She seemed insensitive'. Thinking,


sensing, understanding and insensitivity do not fit into any clear preferred

category, so you will need to be alert for clues that are more obvious.

Please turn to Activity 2 for a fascinating check of your own preferred

sense.

Then go straight on to Activity 3 for a further exploration.

Tempo and toneYour client's tempo (speed of speech) and tone (tonality) can give further

clues about their sensory preferences and offer some great opportunities

for establishing and building rapport.

Visual people are often rapid speakers. They have a clear picture in their

head and will want to describe it to you in great detail, hence their speed.

They may often jump from topic to topic as they focus on different parts of

their picture to make sure that they miss nothing. They may often speak in

a high pitched manner.

Mainly auditory people have a rhythmic, even, level and musical tone. They

can go to great lengths when describing something and they enunciate

clearly. Auditory people love lists and enjoy making their points in

sequential order.

Kinaesthetic people like to talk very slowly. They accord a meaning to every

word and there will be long pauses as they go inside their mind to access

exactly the right information. You must allow them time without interrupting

during their pauses. Their tonality is frequently deep and resonant.

Once you have this information, you can use it to great advantage in your

coaching. Here is a very short story to demonstrate. It features Susan who


is a life coach and James, a potential client.

The person who introduced James had warned that he was

impatient with trainers, colleagues, consultants and coaches. He

was a valued member of the team but his impatience created

problems.

Susan speaks quickly, she is a typical visual person. She noted that

James had a very pedestrian manner of speaking and deduced that

he was a kinaesthetic type. His impatience stemmed from people

at work 'jumping in' with answers while he was still attempting to

describe an issue. They just did not allow him time to process his

responses.

Susan slowed her own speech pattern down to exactly match

James' tempo. She even modulated her voice slightly to make it

deeper. Their initial session lasted an hour during which Susan said

very little and during which there were some extremely long pauses.

At the end, James stood up slowly, smiled and said 'You are the

very first person who knows how I feel. I would like you to be my

coach'.

Susan was using the technique of matching and mirroring to enter James'

view of the world so that he felt understood and able to trust her. The

process is simplicity itself. When a client speaks fast, you speak fast. If

they have a speech rhythm, you have the same rhythm. You match their

volume and tonality as closely as you can. Note the length and complexity

of their sentences and match these too.

Caution! Matching and mirroring does not mean that you mimic accents or

any speech impediments like stammers. When you do it correctly, your

client will not even be aware of what you are doing. Turn to Activity 5 for


some ideas for developing these skills.

Once you have established rapport, you can lead your client forward. Your

client enjoys the feeling of being in rapport and will want to sustain it. If you

have been talking slowly and in a low tone to match your client's speech

patterns, you will find that when you speed up slightly and lift your tone, your

client will follow suit. This device is valuable when you have a client who

drones on and on in miserable tones. As you allow your speech to become

faster and more positive, theirs will too. After all, as a coach you are in control

and must lead your client - not the other way around!

You might break rapport when you first try this. No problem. Simply return

to matching and mirroring to re-establish rapport and try again later. You

could even get them to change their physiology by inviting them to pause,

stand up, stretch and then sit in a different position. This will change their

mood.

Your tone can also significantly change your meaning. In this example, read

each phrase aloud and place a strong emphasis on the underlined word.

You will immediately see that you can send eight different meanings.

"I did not say that I loved her








As well as changing meaning, your tone can also indicate a positive or

negative frame of mind or state. If a coaching session lasts for an hour or


more, you may find that you become tired and that your initial positive tone

has begun to slip. Change your position and posture - be aware of changes

in your own tonality and focus on opportunities to match, mirror, pace, or

lead.

You can also pace and match your client's breathing patterns. Breathing

has a tremendous impact on mood and state. When you copy their

breathing depth and pace you can feel what they are feeling and, you can

notice some unspoken information. They may reveal their sensory

preferences, they may reveal stress with shallower and faster breathing,

they may indicate satisfaction and comfort by slower and deeper breaths.

Be alert to all the signs. Please turn to Activity 6.


Beware of labelsNobody is permanently or solely visual, auditory, or kinaesthetic. We all

shift between them according to our activity and mood of the moment. In

very general terms, British people tend towards the auditory with strong

visual support. In the USA the situation is opposite, with visual as the key

preference and auditory in strong secondary position. Latin countries tend

to feature people with kinaesthetic preferences and strong visual

components.

You must beware of using these valuable indicators as labels for

individuals. So far, you have been presented with an introduction to the

main representational systems but there is a great deal of deeper

information that you can gain if this topic really fascinates you. Here are

just a few examples of the potential power of the three main patterns.

VISUAL: It is true that a picture is worth ten thousand words. Visual is the

realm of space and time. You can hold a fantastic amount of information at

once when you use pictures.

If you need to make decisions based on given information you can create

pictures of each possible outcome, hold them all in your mind

simultaneously and compare. If you attempt to do this with words, you are

hampered by having to use one word at a time. Do it with feelings and it

takes too long for the experience of each feeling to manifest.

Once you and your client have used visualisation to create a clear picture

of the selected decision and its associated action, move on rapidly. You

must not create a loop by introducing new pictures at this stage.

Visualising is a useful tool for accessing past success and using it as a

basis for future achievement. 'What were you most proud of, what did you

see and how did it feel at that time?' Then recreate the picture with the


new scenario and information to recreate the same feelings of pride and

achievement.

AUDITORY: Use words to help your client plan, to arrange sequences of

actions, to list and to prioritise. Because words are used one at a time,

they force logical progression and allow subsequent analysis.

Words are also useful for removing emotion from an experience. Dr. Wyatt

Woodsmall puts it like this; 'First there is an event. Then there is the

nervous impact of that event via the senses. Third is the emotional

reaction based on past experience of the individual. Fourth is the internal

or external verbal response'. This hypothesis indicates that words can

move us four steps away from the experience.

It is time to turn to Activity 7.

Summary"You have been introduced to the communication model and the

way the dynamics change during telephone coaching.

"You have an understanding of the power of physiology in changing

state.

"You can recognise the main sensory preferences by choice of

words.

"You know how matching and mirroring can be used to good

advantage.

"You have the keys to establishing and building [and sustaining]

rapport with every client.


Activity One

You are about to prove the power of physiology for yourself.

"Stand with your head hanging down forward. Droop your

shoulders and let your arms hang loose by your side. Turn the

corners of your mouth down. Sigh deeply.

"Now, in that situation, try to feel happy and say something

positive

"What happened?

"Stand tall, head up, shoulders back and with a great big smile

"Now, in that situation, try to feel sad and say something negative

"What happened?

"Return to your normal positive and happy state and continue with

the text.


Activity Two

You are about to discover your preferred sense.

As fast as you can, using the answer that immediately feels right for you,

tick one from each of the three options given in the sections below.

I like to learn by…

■■■■ Seeing how to do it

■■■■ Hearing a talk

■■■■ Having a go, hands-on

I make decisions by…

■■■■ Getting a clear picture

■■■■ Finding out how it sounds

■■■■ Attending to my gut feeling

I buy things based on…

■■■■ Colour, style and appearance

■■■■ Its description, sound or salesperson's patter

■■■■ The feel of the thing

I find it easier to…

■■■■ Draw a picture

■■■■ Sing or hum a tune

■■■■ Play sport

If you mainly chose the first option in each case, you are probably primarily

visual.

Selecting the middle option suggests that you are primarily auditory.


The third option indicates a kinaesthetic preference.

Activity Three

You are about to explore your senses. You may find it useful to record the

following points, allowing around ten seconds between each one and then

to play it back as you complete this activity.

"Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for a few

minutes

"Sit comfortably and relax - eyes closed or open as you prefer

"Imagine that you are walking along a favourite beach

"Take a moment to enjoy the experience and notice what you

notice

"Observe the colours of the sea and the light dancing on the water

"Look at the sky. What colour is it? Are there any clouds or birds

flying?

"Look down at the sand or shingle, wonder at all the different

colours

"Look into the distance. How far away is the end of the beach?

"Become aware of rocks, trees, plants, breakwaters and suchlike

"Listen to the sound of the sea as it laps onto the shore

"Notice the rhythm of the waves

"Notice the birdsong

"Are there any other sounds?

"Just enjoy this song of the beach for a moment

"Feel a warm breeze against your skin

"Feel the sand or shingle on your bare feet. Is it soft or coarse?

"Dip your toes in the water. Is it warm or cold?

"Can you smell seaweed and the scent of the ocean?

"Take a deep breath. Can you taste the salt in the air?


"Gradually, become aware of your surroundings. Move your arms,

stand up and stretch. Your imaginary holiday is over.

"What did you learn about yourself?

"Did you find some images easier than others? Which Ones?

"How can this exercise help you in your coaching?


Activity Four

The more you use your client's vocabulary, the easier it becomes to reflect

their model of the world and to create rapport. This means that you must

be flexible in your own communication.

You are about to consider eleven sentences. First, decide the sense of the

sentence and mark it V, A or K according to whether you believe it to be

Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic in its phrasing. Then, write a question

using the same sense.

Example:- I cannot get a grip on what I need to do next!

K What do you need to gain a firm hold on your next step?

My future looks fuzzy

__________________________________________________________

My boss doesn't listen to me

__________________________________________________________

I can imagine someone else going so far

__________________________________________________________

It is all so big. If only I could put a frame around it

__________________________________________________________

I only made it by the seat of my pants

__________________________________________________________

A little voice warns me to be careful

__________________________________________________________


My partner paints a clear picture, but I just can't see it

__________________________________________________________

I get wobbly just thinking about it

__________________________________________________________

It is moving so fast

__________________________________________________________

I could do it if I had someone on the same wavelength

__________________________________________________________

It seems so attractive

__________________________________________________________

When you have completed your answers, repeat the exercise but, this time,

use different questions in the same sense. Then do it again with questions

framed in a totally different sense. Get together with other coaches and

make up your own sentences and questions.


Activity Five

You are about to experience the nuances of tonality.

"Record a few minutes each of voices from the radio. Use a wide variety

- presenters, news readers, interviewers and famous personalities.

"As you play each one back, see how well you can match and mirror their

tone, pitch and pace. Note how each creates a 'mood' or state. Contrast

the manic upbeat style of a pop music station DJ with the measured

tones of a war correspondent.

"Whenever you are in an hotel, restaurant, filling station or shop - practise

a little discreet mirroring and matching. Notice how quickly you can

establish rapport and note the improvement in service.

"Show this module to a friend and practise together. Role play as each of

the dominant preferences. Practise breath pacing and leading.


Activity Six

Observe the technique of established television interviewers. They very

often use these techniques with their guests and yet still retain their own

style and personality. Watch and learn and then practise on a willing friend.

"Note the rate, depth and location of their breathing

"Do they breathe with a regular and consistent rhythm and does

the pace vary?

"Do they breathe from their upper chest (visual), middle chest

(auditory) or the abdomen (kinaesthetic)? How do these broad

descriptions tally with their preferred sense as indicated by their

choices of words?

"Are inhalations the same length and depth as exhalations?

"Is their breathing regular or spasmodic?

"Notice what you are noticing


Activity Seven

You are going to test your own powers of visualisation. You can use this

technique for clients who say that they find it difficult to visualise.

"What colour is your front door?

"How are your house numbers or name displayed?

"What is your car's number plate?

"What is your telephone number?

"What is your post-code?

"Without checking, how is the figure six shown on your watch?

(Roman, Arabic or just a dot?)

How do you know the answers? In many instances, the response will be,

'I just know'. This provides an opportunity to point out that we all tend to

think in pictures - but these are not real - they are mental images. Just

pretending to 'see' pictures works just as well. If you could answer the

above questions, you CAN visualise.


And finally, become aware of the effect of sounds.

Listen to the sounds around you right now - both near and distant. How

many can you identify and what do they signify? How do you know?

Think of the power of music to alter moods. What moods do you think might

be created by the following types of music. Match the suggested moods to

the types of music by marking A.B or C etc as appropriate. One mood for

each type of music.

A: Mellow and relaxed B: Proud and patriotic C: Stressed out

D: Party time E: Romantic F: Spiritual G: Nostalgic

___ Gentle solo piano renditions of popular show tunes

___ Gregorian chants

___ Military bands

___ Electronic bass drum beat [House, Garage etc]

___ New Age ambient sounds

___ Rock and Roll

___ Traditional Irish or Scottish melodies

You may find it very useful to create your own mood for coaching by playing

appropriate music before any coaching session. It is not advisable to play

music during the session, as your clients' tastes may be very different from

yours - and that will not do a lot for rapport!


Appendix 1

FOUR MAJOR PERSONALITY STYLES

IntroductionThis is particularly applicable to coaching in the workplace.

Applies to a company's clients, customers or work colleagues.

It is about effective response and rapport.

This would be conducted in 15-minute group workshops in a 'live' situation.

People who are difficult to work with may display all or some of these…

"uncontrolled temper

"super-critical

"perfectionist

"arrogance

"lack of communication skills

"overpowering personality

"insecurity

"aggression

"avoid decisions

"hog conversations

"bully others into agreement

"won't open up to you

"irritatingly detailed

"don't listen to you

"think of big picture and ignore practical details.

(Think of more from your own experience.)*


You can make these people less difficult…"If they are clients or customers you can then do more business

with them.

"If they are work colleagues you can then create a more

productive and pleasant environment.

"The bottom line benefit is that you will then gain their attention

and co-operation.

GENERALS: Feel important, self opinionated, logical, not-detailed, delegate

tasks, assertive, tough-minded, poor listeners, lack patience, cold, formal.

SOCIALISERS: Everybody's friend, chatty, enthusiastic, easy-going, give

much information, use examples, honest, assumes others are honest,

fast-paced talking, excitable, many gestures, fast decision-makers,

disorganised.

TEAM PLAYERS: Quiet, unassertive, supportive, co-operative, kind and

warm, slow-paced, few gestures, avoids risk, dislikes conflict,

accommodating, excess sincerity, good at reading others, likes to work with

others.

DETECTIVES: Formal, logical, unfriendly, pedantic, self-possessed, stand-

offish, picky, critical, orderly, serious-minded, unassertive, needs facts,

asks questions.

All people use all traits at some time, but most people have one dominant

trait.

Now think of a couple of famous names for each type. (eg: Richard Branson -

socialiser)

Look for clues to a client or colleague's dominant style.

SOCIALISERS AND TEAM PLAYERS ARE people oriented.


GENERALS AND DETECTIVES ARE task oriented.

GENERALS AND SOCIALISERS ARE tellers and talkers.

TEAM PLAYERS AND DETECTIVES ARE askers and enquirers.


This information allows more effective responses to…

"Improve communication

"Establish rapport

"Exchange ideas

Generals feel important so you pay real attention to them and so play to

their strength. Show them how to feel that they are winning or getting

something special.

They are self-opinionated so listen carefully when they speak, don't

interrupt them, nod your head in agreement.

They are logical so you should know their goal or intention so you must affirm

that you are on-track.

They are abrupt so you keep to the point when responding.

Socialisers are friendly so you act in a relaxed way, stay calm, don't get

hyper. Welcome them with a smile and a friendly greeting.

They are enthusiastic so you respond with positive enthusiasm.

They are easy going so you shouldn't push for a fast decision.

They offer much information, you must separate the key from the waffle.

Team Players are quiet so you keep more thoughtful and quieter.

They are kind, warm and unassertive, you show concern to make them

comfortable.

They are supportive and co-operative, you use words like 'we' and 'us' They

use few gestures and are slow, you slow down gestures and pace of

speech.

Detectives are formal so you adopt a formal manner and give them space.

They are logical and pedantic so you must respond with detailed descriptions,

qualify and quantify.

They are critical, so you must have your facts straight.

They are unassertive so you must hold back and be unassertive too.


People like to deal with people who reflect their ownpersonality…Emphasising a particular part of your own personality is a key to success

so whilst adapting to others as above, remain true and don't fake it. This

is about being subtle and flexible to accommodate their style so that they

feel comfortable with us.

The aim of this process is to create comfort zones for the other person.

Use the process as a self-discovery exercise. Categorise yourself and think

of what changes you might want to make in yourself.

You can also use it as the basis for a mini-lecture that you can deliver to

corporate clients.


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 3 - BUILDING RAPPORT WITH YOUR CLIENT









Week 4

EMPOWERINGTHE COACHINGRELATIONSHIP


Version 2011/1

The key to building a successful coaching practice lies in the ability of the

coach to establish a rapport with clients and to build a lasting and trusting

relationship with them. A coach gives 100% commitment to each client’s

personal development and growth. A skilled coach will seek to invite each

client to take control of his or her life and enable him or her to use a variety

of tools and techniques to achieve this. An effective coach has power to

transform lives and enable clients to discover and commit to a new sense of

direction and purpose. In engaging the services of a coach, each client is

embarking on a unique journey towards self-fulfilment. Stephen Covey, in his

book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People effectively sums up the

sensitivities and power of this relationship in the following, well-chosen words:-

“Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”

Each module of this course is closely linked and intertwined with the

others. Through studying this module and participating in the activities, you

will gain a greater understanding and working knowledge of:-

1. The qualities of a good coach and how to use these to build

client confidence.

2. The role of the coach – this will relate to the skills-based modules.

3. How to set up the coaching agreement with your clients – this

will include agreeing on ground rules for the coaching alliance,

terms and conditions, payment, and session timing.

4. The importance of the “Intake Session” – how to prepare

yourself and manage this crucial first coaching contact with your

clients.

5. The process of reviewing progress with your clients and the value

of setting “homework”.

Empowering the Coaching Relationship Page 129

Week 4EMPOWERING THE COACHING RELATIONSHIP

6. How to manage your time when running a coaching practice.

7. The three stages of preparing for your coaching sessions.

8. The boundaries of coaching and how to deal with difficult clients.

9. The importance of continuing your own professional

development as a coach.

10. How to build up a working “tool kit” to use in a range of

situations.

As you work through this module you will make connections with the other

study units and consolidate your learning. You will also gain a ‘big picture’

overview of how to manage a coaching business – from the detail of

working with individual clients through to the management issues of

working with a portfolio of clients with a range of different needs.

Essentially, the ‘coaching relationship’ pulls together all the coaching

skills, sets them in a framework, and gives you the practical advice and

guidance you will need as you begin to build up your client base and

establish yourself as a professional coach.

The qualities of a good coach.The coaching relationship is a conversation between a client and a coach.

It is the power of that relationship that will produce the results. Within any

conversation, the two main elements are speaking and listening. The

extent to which the coach develops and continues to develop these two

skills will determine how effective these coaching relationships will be, as

you will have discovered in the skill-based modules.

Any communication between two people constitutes a relationship, so how

is the coaching relationship unique? As a coach, your relationship with your

clients will be based on the firm belief that your clients are capable,

resourceful people who want support in articulating and achieving their


goals. A coach provides support and direction in three ways:-

1. By asking the right questions to give insights into what is needed

to plan the next steps.

2. By providing the necessary tools and structure of ongoing

support for their clients.

3. By being 100% committed to the success of each and every

client.

When beginning to coach a new client, the initial process is exactly the

same as building any important, new relationship. As a coach you will need

to spend time with your client:-

"Getting to know each other and

"Building up a sense of mutual trust as you encourage your clients to

talk and share information about their lives, their achievements, and

their aims.

Your clients must have the confidence to share anything with you. They must

feel 100% safe and secure in the coaching relationship. So on to the

essential qualities of an effective coach. Myles Downey, in his celebrated

work Effective Coaching, recognises that good quality coaching is based on:-

1. Trust

2. Honesty; and

3. Transparency or Openness.

As we explore each of these attributes in greater detail, you will begin to

appreciate that every relationship is based on two-way communication and

whatever attributes apply to the coach must also apply to the client in order

to maximise the benefits the coach/client relationship.

1. Trust.Trust is all about confidentiality. A client must trust a coach absolutely. Your


clients must be certain that anything they share with you will not be

repeated to a third party. Clients will be sharing their thoughts, beliefs,

fears, and ideas and these must be listened to and acknowledged in a

climate of mutual trust. Mutual trust means that this trust must work in the

opposite direction, too. As a coach, you must be able to trust that your

clients are fully engaged with the coaching process and are being as

truthful as possible. The whole basis of an effective coaching relationship

must be built on a firm foundation of trust.

2. Honesty.How does honesty translate in practice? During the coaching process each

client will agree on and commit to any number of actions towards achieving

their goals. Your clients must take responsibility for carrying out those

actions, and be honest with you if they have experienced difficulties or

barriers.

The relationship is for the benefit of the client, not the coach. In committing

to and carrying out their action plan, a client should be honouring their

commitment to themselves, not to their coach. Your clients need to be

aware of this, and you need to establish a climate that allows your clients

to interpret ‘failure’ to take action as a learning process from which a new

and more appropriate plan of action can emerge. Repeated failure to meet

agreed targets for action may reveal a deeper challenge. There may be

issues concerning a client’s values and beliefs and the congruence of their

agreed goals. This is discussed more fully in the module on “Goal Setting

and Motivation”.

3. Openness.Without trust, any relationship lacks the credibility for open, mutual

learning, communication, and real creativity. Openness in the coaching


relationships has two very specific components:-

1. Openness in discussion – the coach must facilitate the client in

being confident to bring all relevant information to the coaching

session

2. Openness about the topic of discussion – the client should be

actively encouraged to explore all aspects of a topic and not hold

anything back that might impede the path of progress

To conclude this section, there are three steps that most successful

professionals take to build relationships:-

1. Determining mutually satisfying goals – in the coaching context

this translates as facilitating the client to set goals that are both

challenging and achievable, thus satisfying the client.

2. Establishing and maintaining non-verbal support; and

3. Producing positive feelings in others – both of these aspects

are expanded in the module on “The Skill of Building Rapport”.

James Flaherty, in his book Coaching, Evoking Excellence in Others,

expresses the importance of the coach/client relationship as follows:-

“…relationship is the background for all coaching efforts… (the

relationship) must be one in which there is mutual respect, trust

and mutual freedom of expression.” He adds that this should be

“based on openness, communication, appreciation, fairness and

shared commitment” and, finally, “confidentiality”.

And so we move on to…

The role of the coach.In Effective Coaching, Myles Downey defines coaching as “the art of

facilitating the performance, learning and development of another.” In

simpler terms, it is to unlock a client’s potential so that he or she can


maximise performance.

Throughout your study, a composite picture of the role of the coach has

been emerging, and in this next section we are going to define the key

elements of that role. Each one of these attributes and attitudes forms an

integral part of the coach’s role and, therefore, they are offered as being

equally important, rather than as a hierarchical list. There are nineteen

attributes in all, and each of these will have been explored in detail as part

of one of the modules. Seen as a whole, they can be used as a checklist

against your own learning and skills acquisition to help you to identify

particular competencies you need to develop as you strive to be an

excellent and versatile coach.

Excellent coaches show their ability by:-

1. Supporting clients to achieve their full potential.

2. Establishing a high level of rapport.

3. Working in a climate of climate of trust, honesty and openness.

4. Actively listening to their clients at all times.

5. Using effective open-ended questioning techniques.

6. Offering constructive feedback and checking meaning through

summarising and paraphrasing.

7. Encouraging clients to explore options.

8. Praising clients achievements – the small steps as well as the

big ones.

9. Challenging and taking their clients out of their comfort zone.

10. Facilitating clients in understanding their needs.

11. Acting as a sounding board and allowing clients to brainstorm

ideas and possible solutions or options.

12. Raising awareness.

13. Opening choices.

14. Encouraging responsibility.


15. Helping clients to explore values and beliefs.

16. Enabling clients to set goals and define action plans.

17. Keeping clients on track, within a session and over a period of

time.

18. Maintaining a non-judgmental attitude.

19. And, of course, remaining totally confidential.

How well do your skills match up to this checklist?

Before you go any further, go to EXERCISE ONE and rate your own skill

level against each of the criteria on the list.

Welcome back! I hope you were honest, open and trustworthy in your

assessment of your skills. The duplicate sheet can be used with one of

your clients to give you feedback in terms of where you think you are and

where your clients think you are. Identify any gaps and decide what actions

you will take to improve these skills.

Establishing ground rules.For any relationship to work effectively, there have to be ground rules. In

family and workplace relationships these rules are often assumed and

unwritten. When building a business practice that relies on communicating

openly and honestly with clients, it is crucial to adopt an open and honest

policy with clients at the outset. You will need to consider what rules you

will need to put in place to enable you to run an efficient, effective coaching

practice. You will need to draw up a transparent set of rules, defining

clearly:-

"How long each session will last,

"Your charging and payment policy; and

"Timekeeping expectations.


Length of session.Regardless of whether you intend to coach over the telephone, face-to-face,

or use a mixture of the two approaches, you will need to decide how long

each session will last. Bear in mind that you will need to prepare before each

coaching session, and give yourself time and space in between each client.

There is no set optimum time for a session, however most coaches fix

sessions at somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes. This needs to be made

clear at the outset, and should be included in an information pack for the

client. This information will form part of your toolkit.

Frequency of sessions.Again, there are no hard and fast rules. Most coaches recommend

coaching on a weekly or fortnightly basis. Clients need sufficient time to

carry out their agreed actions. On the other hand, they need a sense of

urgency. If the sessions are too far apart the impetus can quickly be lost,

actions not carried through and goals not met. This is unsatisfactory for the

client and the coach. To avoid this scenario, agree the frequency of the

sessions at the outset.

When setting up your practice, it is vitally important to put systems in place

at the start. These don’t need to be written on tablets of stone and can be

amended in light of experience and changes in circumstance.

A practice can quickly become unmanageable with only a few clients, if it

is allowed to grow without any forethought as to the times of day you wish

to work and the days of the week that are most suitable for you.

Remember, coaches need life balance too!

A professional coach is just that – a professional. At different times in our lives

we make appointments with a whole range of professionals – doctors, dentists

and lawyers to name but a few. We book appointments through receptionists,


personal assistants or secretaries, on their terms, not ours, although there is

some degree of flexibility.

Ideally, before you sign up your first client, you should give due

consideration to the following:-

"How will coaching fit in with my other commitments?

"How much time each day do I want to allocate to coaching?

"Am I going to operate on a 9 to 5 schedule?

"Do I want to offer evening sessions?

"Are there certain times or days when I will not book in clients?

Charging and payment policy.Before setting your own charging policy, find out:-

"How much other coaches are charging?

"Are they charging per session or for a course of sessions?

"Do they offer a discount for booking and paying for a course of

coaching sessions?

"What length of session do they offer?

"Do they offer a sliding scale of charges?

Once you have established how much you will charge, you must give

consideration to the frequency and method of payment. You must decide:-

"Methods of payment – will you accept cash, cheque and or credit

cards? You will need to set up a facility to accept payment by

credit card.

"Frequency of payment – do you want to be paid by the session in

advance or for a course of sessions in advance?

"Are you prepared to see clients on a pay-as-you-go basis?

"What will you do if a client doesn’t pay and how will they know

that?


Information about payment should form part of your initial pack for your clients.

Timekeeping.As your client base grows, you will become aware of the pressures of time-

management. Remember the old adage ‘time is money’. Whether your

clients are calling you or arriving for a face-to-face session, you need to be

very clear about the amount of time you have allocated to them. What will

you do if:-

"A client is late?

"A client misses an appointment?

"A client is consistently re-arranging pre-agreed sessions?

"A client rings or arrives at the wrong time or on the wrong day?

All of these scenarios can be effectively addressed in your initial letter of

agreement with the client. The ground rules can be clearly defined and can

form part of the coaching agreement. Arrange to have this signed and

returned to you before the first coaching session. Make your expectations

clear and be equally clear about the level of service the client has a right

to expect from you.

Turn to EXERCISE THREE. Use the information you have just heard to draw

up your own set of ground rules to give out to your clients. Use the

headings as reminders as to what to include.

The intake session.The first, formal coaching session with a client is commonly called the

‘Intake Session’. This session can take up to an hour-and-a-half, so keep

this in mind when scheduling your sessions. The aims of this session are:-

"To complete an information and contact sheets for the client’s file.

"To clarify your role and commitment to the client.


"To reassure the client about issues of confidentiality.

"To explain to the client that they are in charge of the process and

have the power to decide how long to be coached.

"To find out how they want to be coached.

"To ask what they would like you to do if they get stuck – would

they welcome a suggestion from you?

"To make it clear that, to get the best value from the session, you

may need to interrupt them or stop them from time to time and

get them back on track.

"To go through and explain, in outline, the basic six point

structure of a coaching session as follows:-

1. Review the previous actions.

2. Setting goals for the session.

3. Looking at where the client is now.

4. Exploring possible options.

5. Agreeing actions.

6. Summarising what has been agreed.

"And, finally, to find out about the client’s state of mind and

attitude towards life by guiding them through a pre-prepared

client history sheet.

Remember, coaching takes a client from where they are now to where they

want to be. It, therefore, follows that the vital first step is to establish

where your clients are now in order to move them forwards towards their

own, self-defined goals.

You might chose to use a detailed, focused questionnaire with your clients,

a genuine “Client History” or a more general questionnaire of the “Where

Are You Now?” type. Your decision will be based on any prior knowledge of

your client and any information you may already have as to why they have

chosen to work with a coach.


A client history is particularly useful if a client is seeking a coach to help

them to decide upon and achieve a major life-change, i.e. a career change

or re-location. Your questions should seek to uncover how the client views

him or herself, and might include any or all of the following:-

"What have been your three most fulfilling accomplishments in life

so far?

"What has made you the most successful or powerful?

"What has been the biggest thing you have had to overcome?

"What has not been successful and what have you learnt from

this?

"How has your attitude towards people changed over the past ten

years?

"Are you past, present or future oriented?

"What should I know about your professional background?

"What should I know about your personal background?

"What, if anything, should I know about your family history?

"What is the most important thing in your life at the moment?

Explain to your client that the more information you have, the more

effectively you will be able to work with them. These questions can be

made into a template and their answers recorded for future reference.

Remind your client that they are not obliged to answer all the questions and

can ‘pass’ or seek further clarification from you if necessary.

Don’t be afraid to ask subsidiary, open-ended questions to probe more

deeply into the above areas.

To experience the effectiveness of this approach, turn to EXERCISE FOUR

and try this questionnaire out for yourself, or better still, use it on a trusted

friend or family member. Practice taking notes from the answers.

Remember to use your active listening skills and open-ended questioning

techniques to elicit extra information where necessary!


Welcome back! You may wish to use ideas from this exercise to draw up

your own client intake sheet.

An equally effective approach is to use a “Where are you now?” format to

enable the client to pinpoint their feelings of dissatisfaction and concern,

identify the area they wish to work on, and turn this into a positive goal for

the future. This can be divided into four basic sections covering:-

1. TOLERATIONS: What are you putting up with at the moment?

2. SHOULDS: What do you think you should be doing right now,

professionally and personally?

3. FRUSTRATIONS: What things are frustrating you about yourself,

your life, your work, others?

4. DESIRES: What do you really want in your personal or

professional life?

Take a few minutes to complete EXERCISE FIVE, the “Where Are You

Now?” exercise. Again, you can do this for yourself or practice talking this

through with a friend or colleague.

Welcome back! You can modify this sheet and include it in your own toolkit.

How to review your clients’ progress.As each client is an individual, it is important that the coaching relationship

is flexible enough to adapt to each situation and personality. Although it is

essential to have processes and techniques available to support clients in

achieving results, it is vital that, as a coach, you focus on doing the best

thing for your client. Slavishly following a process may get in the way of


progress or even block progress altogether! As you develop your skills

through practising with a range of clients, you will gain the confidence to

follow your intuition, led by your clients’ needs, rather than your own need

for the security of a rigid, structured coaching process.

By now you are familiar with the GROW model framework and the benefits

of working flexibly within a coaching model. It is an excellent basic model,

however there is an essential element missing. After having worked with

your client to establish his or her main goal, set priorities and agree on one

or two small steps, or short-term goals, towards that ultimate goal – what

happens in the second coaching session? A process of review must be

built into this and subsequent sessions. You will need to mentally allocate

about 10 minutes for this process. During this review period – it is a vital

part of the coaching process not an optional extra, so the coach should be

in ‘coaching mode’ – the coach aims to do the following through the use of

open-ended questions:-

"Find out which actions have been completed – successes.

"Find out if there are any actions that have not been carried out –

challenges.

"Find out why any omissions have occurred – check the level of

commitment and congruency of goals.

"Find out how the client feels about their progress.

"Find out if any other issues have become important since the

previous session.

"Celebrate the client’s successes!

Many coaches choose to use a coaching preparation sheet, to be

completed by the client prior to the session. This enables the client to

focus on their goals, aims and actions, recognise the challenges they are

currently facing, and set the agenda for the forthcoming session. It also

maximises the time spent coaching, as the client will be focused and ready

to go through the review process without prompting from the coach.


A call preparation sheet can be faxed or e-mailed to the client as an

immediate follow-up from a session, or sent a couple days before a session

is due as a reminder.

Before you begin the next exercise, you may find Cheryl Richardson’s book

Take Time for Your Life a useful source of ideas and possible questions for

your review session preparation form.

Turn to EXERCISE 6 and use the template to create your own client

preparation form. Remember to phrase your questions in the positive!

Welcome back! You have just created another element of your toolkit!

Setting homework.It is not compulsory to set homework for your clients! Once again, as you

establish rapport with your clients, you will quickly become sensitive to their

own particular needs and will adjust your approach accordingly. If you’re not

sure, ask! Try saying:-

"How would you feel about doing an exercise for homework?

"Or link this to praise, “You’re moving ahead really quickly, I think

some homework would help you to gain even more value from

your sessions”.

"Or you could “get tough” and be very direct – “I’d like you to try

this exercise before your next session – other clients have found

it very helpful – let’s see how it works for you”.

Build an evaluation of the effectiveness of homework into the review

session. Perhaps you’d like to revisit EXERCISE SIX for a few minutes?

Use the Internet, books, journals and articles to gather information and

ideas for exercises to use with your clients. These will accumulate into


what is commonly known as ‘The Coaches Tool-kit’. Remember:-

"What works for one client may need adjusting to be relevant to

the next, or may not have any relevance at all.

"What works for one coach may not be comfortable for you, so try

out ideas, make adjustments and share ideas with other

coaches.

Never forget that one of your most valuable resources is your client. Ask for

feedback:-

"What was useful about that exercise?

"What changes would you suggest?

"How useful would it be to go through the exercise again to help

you to assess your progress?

Time Management for Coaches.Now that you have considered the timing of your session, what about the

bigger picture of your own time management? No one would choose to be

coached by a stressed coach, so you need to plan to be in control.

Tight, but realistic scheduling puts the coach in control of the practice and

reduces stress levels. If clients are allowed to take control of a coach’s

time, simply because ground rules have not been agreed or adhered to, the

coach will feel out of control and stressed – clearly not the ideal frame of

mind in which to coach!

To manage time efficiently, so that you have plenty of time to run and

develop your coaching practice, will require the following actions:-

"Setting aside a specific place to work to enable you to establish

clear working patterns. Be aware that if you are working from

home this can become either all consuming or too fragmented for

the business to build and grow. Your business can become driven


by your coaching sessions, allowing no room for reflection,

affirmation and growth.

"Creating an ideal work schedule that balances work and family

life. Rather than assuming you must work increasingly long hours

to achieve success, you need to be realistic and use your work

time productively – work smarter not harder!

"Making provision for the unexpected so that you are never in a

position of feeling overwhelmed and out of control if the

unforeseen takes up some of your work time.

"Creating time boundaries when you are in “work-mode” and

cannot be disturbed. Making sure these boundaries are

understood by family and friends.

"Devising a realistic daily timetable for your coaching business. It

should incorporate all aspects of running a business, including

actions that you might avoid if you do not schedule them in as

priorities.

"Making sure, using the above method, that you work on one

action per day that relates to your business and/or personal

goals. Use positive affirmations relating to your own goals.

"Recognising your own strengths and weaknesses. This will

enable you to spend time building on your strengths and finding

ways to overcome your weaknesses.

Keeping clients on track.Each coaching session will be bound by the amount of time fixed upon. It

is the role of the coach to pace the session and keep the conversation on

track to maximise the benefit each session. Imagine being forced to cut

short a session before a client agrees to and commits to taking action. The

client would feel let down and de-motivated and you would be acutely aware

of your own responsibility in mismanaging the session and allowing this

situation to occur. You may even lose a client.


Keeping the conversation on track will mean seeking permission to

interrupt or intrude at the outset of the coaching relationship. Intruding

means interrupting the flow of conversation before a polite break in the

dialogue, and cutting through to the main issue. In the book Co-Active

Coaching, Laura Whitworth et al. comment that, “You are not intruding on

them [the client] you’re intruding on the story that gets in the way of the

truth”.

What strategies will you use to keep your clients on track? Here are some

useful tactics to use:-

"Can we pause for a moment? How does this relate to your topic

or issue?

"Can I ask you to stop for a moment? You began by talking about

X; can I bring you back to that?

"I’d like to stop you there. It sounds fascinating, however we only

have X minutes left and I want you to decide which of the options

you’d like to pursue.

"I’m going to interrupt you there. Perhaps we could come back to

that at the next session?

As you practice with your clients, you will find ways of getting clients back

on a track that you feel comfortable with.

The three stages of preparation.As a coach, your preparation before coaching sessions will fall into three

distinct categories:-

1. LONG-TERM PREPARATION – This refers to the ongoing

updating and building-up of your knowledge, skills and

understanding of your role.


2. MEDIUM-TERM PREPARATION – this is carried out sometime

before the session and involves looking through your client’s

notes, reminding yourself of the client’s background, long-term

goals, achievements, gains, successes and challenges.

3. SHORT-TERM or IMMEDIATE PREPARATION – this is crucial to

the success of the session. It concerns your personal

preparation to enable you to be totally focused on your client and

your role as their coach.

These three levels of preparation are all positive steps that are vitally

important in practising and endeavouring to develop your skills to become

an excellent coach. We are now going to explore each of these steps in

greater detail.

1. Long-term preparation.This involves the coach in keeping abreast of new developments in the

coaching world through using Internet resources, attending related

seminars, and reading articles, journals and books on and around the

subject of coaching. Coaching is a skill and an art form to be practised and

perfected through the self-improvement of the coach. Discussing and

sharing issues and ideas with colleagues will be another valuable source

of becoming a coach who is self-aware, critical and keen to improve the

standard of service offered. Taking specific action to maintain a positive

mental attitude will be a crucial aspect of your ongoing development as a

coach.

2. Medium-term preparation.At this level, your preparation will be client specific. Even before you have

amassed a portfolio of clients, it is essential to establish practises that will


enhance the relationship between you and your clients. Find a quiet place

to read through the client’s notes, to focus your mind on his or her goals,

challenges and achievements. This exercise will increase your confidence

level and enhance the rapport that has been built with your client. Using

this strategy as a means of mental preparation will channel your thoughts

towards achieving success for your next client.

All clients deserve a coach who is 100% devoted to and focused on helping

them to succeed – a coach who is operating on their wavelength. To

achieve this, remind yourself of the preferred thinking mode of your client

– is it visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. Revisit the client’s long-term goal or

goals and review the progress made so far. Remind yourself of the client’s

comfort zones and areas that are often avoided or put on hold.

At this stage it is appropriate to consider the four sections of the GROW

model and to remind yourself of some open-ended questions you might use

in each category. Finally, familiarise yourself with your client’s goals and

actions from the previous week.

Just one note of caution here, in the early stages of coaching you might jot

own a few questions to use – remember the importance of active listening.

Each question will be phrased according to the response offered by the

client. Sticking rigidly to pre-set questions will stifle the coaching process,

making it coach-led rather than client-led.

3. Short-term preparation.Finally and arguably most importantly, the coach needs to mentally prepare

for the task ahead. Spend a few minutes in a calm environment, breathing

slowly and deeply, focusing on the skills you will need to draw on during the

session.


Some coaches use meditation techniques as their preferred style of

preparation, the right method is the one that works for you. Try reminding

yourself of the purpose of coaching – that you are walking alongside a client

and helping them to make his or her dreams a reality. Remind yourself of

the importance of silence and of allowing the client time to think and

expand on their ideas and thoughts.

Always be aware that your own state of mind will come across to the client

more clearly than the words you are speaking. To this end, remind yourself

to be upbeat and enthusiastic, to look forward to the session and give

100% of yourself to your client for the next 45 minutes or so. Place your

most recent client notes to one side of you, to aid the progress review. In

front of you, have a new record sheet ready to note information stemming

from the current session. You are now in the right frame of mind, are

physically prepared, and are ready to begin working with your client!

Drawing the session to a close.Keep a clock or watch close by and use this to remind yourself to keep the

session moving. If the session is slow in progressing towards the W stage,

tell your client! You might say, “Right, we’ve got 15 minutes left, so I’d like

to move you on” or “I’m really keen to help you to achieve your goal and,

as we’ve got only 15 minutes left, I think it’s time to ask/explore…”

When five minutes are left, tell the client. Use praise… “You’ve done really

well this week. In our last five minutes I’d like to…”

Follow up to the coaching session.Have you considered how you will record the outcomes from each coaching

session? What do you need to know and recall and what does your client

need to know and recall?


Encouraging your client to take their own notes can be a powerful tool,

particularly if you introduce written brainstorming or mind-mapping

exercises as part of a session. The act of creating and writing down a

personal goal and seeing it in writing can motivate a client into action.

You will need to make your own notes. Again, remember your prime purpose

is to focus on:-

"What is being said,

"How it is being said, and

"What is not being said.

So recording all dialogue verbatim is not an option! Consider what

information you will need for your own records and for the client. Can these

be incorporated onto one record sheet – appropriate for both coach and

client? Before devising your record sheet, you must be very clear about the

purpose and value of the information it contains. Consider the following:-

1. What will you need to know to be able to review your clients’

progress in the short, medium and long-term?

2. What will the client need to know to move forwards?

3. Is there any other information that might be relevant to the

coaching relationship and process that should be included on

this form?

Use the template in EXERCISE SEVEN to draft a record sheet to document

information from each coaching session. This will form another part of your

toolkit.

Self-management for Coaches.


We have looked at coaching session time management and at time

management relating to your working practices, so where does self-

management come into the equation?

In Co-Active Coaching by Laura Whitworth et al., self-management is

identified as “the coach’s ability to become invisible in the service of

holding the client’s agenda”. This has been referred to in the skill of

listening and relates to the coach putting aside all opinions, preferences,

judgements, and beliefs to support the client’s agenda. Another facet of

self-management is managing the client’s gremlin – the belief or mind-set

that is holding the client back or keeping him or her in a comfort zone.

This is discussed more fully in the audio on Goal Setting and Motivation.

Getting tough with clients.As in any profession, dealing with difficult clients cannot be ignored.

Visualising how a difficult client may present and the action that you, as a

coach, will adopt will take the fear out of the situation. It may be useful to

remember that FEAR stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. Difficult

clients fall into the following main categories, although you may come

across any variations of these:

THE SCEPTICS – people who will challenge the benefits of coaching. These

are relatively easy to deal with. As a coach you work in partnership with

willing participants. Explain the basic principles of coaching and offer to

send them an information pack so they can contact you when they are

ready to take responsibility for changing their lives.

CLIENTS WHO DO NOT PAY – a good strategy would be to defer the

coaching session until the payment is cleared. This may be uncomfortable

for the coach, but it will reinforce your standard of business practise and


make your position clear to the client. Agreeing on payment conditions at

the outset should make it easier to reinforce the agreed conditions.

CLIENTS WHO ARE CONSISTENTLY LATE FOR A SESSION – remind the

client that the session will end on time regardless of when it started.

Encourage the client to keep to the agreed times as you want them to get

value from the session. If it happens repeatedly, help them to look at time

management or consider booking a more suitable appointment time.

CLIENTS WHO REGULARLY USE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE – Stipulate clear

boundaries of what you will tolerate and stick to them! Reminding the client

at the time of the offence will normally stop this recurring. You have as much

right to terminate the coaching agreement as the client – make sure this is

clear at the outset!

CLIENTS WHO HAVE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE – the coach should bring this

to the client’s attention if it is continuously demonstrated during sessions.

You could address this through working on recognising and removing

internal barriers and interference to help your client move forwards. If this

impedes all progress, it is your duty, as the coach to mention this and

terminate the relationship.

CLIENTS WHO EXPECT TOO MUCH OF THE COACH – e.g. they state, “You

are not doing what I hoped for” – make your role clear; reiterate your role

in the coaching context. Remind your clients that you are not a problem

solver and that the client is ultimately responsible for his or her own

success.

CLIENTS WITH SERIOUS FINANCIAL PROBLEMS – coaching is not

prescriptive. Coaches do not offer or give advice about any matters relating

to serious or desperate financial circumstances. It is the duty of a coach to

explain sensitively, yet firmly, that while coaching might help to identify and


change limiting beliefs about money, the client’s first priority must be to

urgently seek professional financial advice. Once the crisis is in check,

coaching might be an option.

CLIENTS WITH SERIOUS ADDICTIVE PROBLEMS – Again, coaching is not

the forum through which to explore and address serious addictive

problems. What should you do if you become aware that your client has an

addiction to hard drugs or alcohol, has unresolved issues about physical or

sexual abuse, or suffers from an ongoing mental health problem? It is your

duty to make a strong recommendation that they seek the appropriate form

of help through counselling, therapy or a support organisation. If you have

already committed to coaching the client, refer to the ethical code of

practice, and exercise your right to suspend the coaching agreement until

the problem has been satisfactorily addressed. You may be comfortable

coaching less serious addictions e.g. chocolate or cigarettes, this will

depend upon your own values, experience, confidence level and expertise.

When to stop coaching a client.The most obvious reason for finishing a coaching relationship is that the

client has achieved their goals! Most coaching relationships last between

three to six months, although some can continue for much longer. The

general rule is that while both client and coach are comfortable that

progress is being made and that the relationship is moving the client on,

there is no reason for it not to continue.

Some clients may seek the support of a coach to reach one very specific

goal; others may be seeking life-balance and need to work on a various

areas in their lives to achieve that sense of balance.

Either party can terminate the relationship when it has come to its natural

end. Other reasons will inevitably be linked with issues listed under


“Getting Tough with Clients”.

If you are coaching a client who is clearly not committed to change and is

making no progress, wasting your time and their money, it’s only fair to tell

them this and to make space for clients who are willing to take action,

make changes and live their best life.

Remember, satisfied clients are your best and most cost-effective form of

advertising!

In conclusion.Studying this audio will have raised your awareness of the qualities of an

excellent coach and how to use these to form positive relationships with

your clients.

You will have considered all aspects of setting up, running and managing

your own coaching practice, from the practicalities of preparation and

timing through to the review process and record keeping.

In working through the exercises and activities, you have started to build

up your own personal coach’s toolkit, which you will be able to adjust and

add to as necessary.

You will have a good understanding of the difficulties you might face and

how to overcome these.

And finally, this audio will have inspired you to be proactive about your own

professional development and motivated you to pursue excellence in your

quest to be best you coach you can be!


EXERCISE ONE.

Use the checklist to make an assessment of your own skills development:-

1 = very competent and confident – “I do this almost all the time.”

2 = gaining in confidence – “I do this most of the time.”

3 = more development need to use this skill well – “I sometimes

do this.”

How did you score?

Add up your total score and relate it to the stages of learning a new skill:

YOUR SCORE BAND YOUR COMPETENCY LEVEL20 – 29 UNCONSCIOUS COMPETENCE30 – 39 CONSCIOUS COMPETENCE40 – 49 CONSCIOUS INCOMPETENCE50 – 60 UNCONSCIOUS INCOMPETENCE

"Supporting clients to achieve their full potential"Establishing a high level of rapport"Working in a climate of trust, honesty and openness"Actively listening to clients at all times"Using effective open-ended questioning techniques"Offering constructive feedback and checking meaning through

summarising and paraphrasing "Encouraging clients to explore options"Praising clients achievements – the small steps as well as the bigones"Challenging and taking clients out of their comfort zone"Facilitating clients in understanding their needs "Acting as a sounding board and allowing clients to brainstorm

ideas and possible solutions or options"Raising awareness"Opening choices"Encouraging responsibility"Helping clients to explore values and beliefs"Enabling clients to set goals and define action plans "Keeping clients on track, within a session and over a period of time"Maintaining a non-judgmental attitude"And of course, remaining totally confidential.


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EXERCISE TWO.

Use this checklist to rate the effectiveness of the coaching you are

receiving.

1 = very competent and confident – “My coach does this almost all

the time.”

2 = gaining in confidence – “My coach mostly does this.”

3 = more development need to use this skill well – “My coach

sometimes does this.”

"Supporting clients to achieve their full potential"Establishing a high level of rapport"Working in a climate of trust, honesty and openness"Actively listening to clients at all times"Using effective open-ended questioning techniques"Offering constructive feedback and checking meaning through

summarising and paraphrasing "Encouraging clients to explore options"Praising clients achievements – the small steps as well as the big

ones"Challenging and taking clients out of their comfort zone"Facilitating clients in understanding their needs "Acting as a sounding board and allowing clients to brainstorm

ideas and possible solutions or options"Raising awareness"Opening choices"Encouraging responsibility"Helping clients to explore values and beliefs"Enabling clients to set goals and define action plans "Keeping clients on track, within a session and over a period of time"Maintaining a non-judgmental attitude"And of course, remaining totally confidential.


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EXERCISE THREE.

Use these headings to decide on the ground rules for your coaching

practice. When you have drafted your letter, listen to the audio again and

check you have included all relevant information.

What happens if I’m late, miss a session altogether, or have to cancel

because of unforeseen circumstances?

What is your payment and charging policy?

How often will I need a coaching session?

How long will my coaching session last?


EXERCISE FOUR.

“Compiling a Client History” – try out his form on yourself or ask a friend to

share their client history with you. Practice noting down significant comments

and remarks.

"What have been your three most fulfilling accomplishments in life so far?

________________________________________________________________

"What has made you the most successful or powerful?

________________________________________________________________

"What has been the biggest thing you have had to overcome?

________________________________________________________________

"What has not been successful and what have you learnt form this?

________________________________________________________________

"How have your attitudes to people changed over the past ten years?

________________________________________________________________

"Are you past, present or future oriented?

________________________________________________________________

"What should I know about your professional background?

________________________________________________________________

"What should I know about your personal background?

________________________________________________________________

"What, if anything, should I know about your family history?

________________________________________________________________

"What is the most important thing in your life at the moment?


EXERCISE FIVE.

Use this as a self-assessment exercise or as an assessment of a friend or

colleague. Again, practice noting down the key points from the responses.

Be ready to add some open-ended questions of your own to clarify the

information you receive.

1. TOLERATIONS: What are you putting up with at the moment?

2. SHOULDS: What do you think you should be doing right now,

professionally and personally?

3. FRUSTRATIONS: What things are frustrating you about yourself, your

life, your work, others?

4. DESIRES: What do you really want in your personal or professional life?


EXERCISE SIX.

Devise you own client preparation form. Use the headings as guidance.

After listening to the audio on “The Skill of Questioning” you may want to

come back and redo this exercise.

(Find out what actions your client has taken)

(Find out what your client has not done)

(Find out what challenges your client faces)

(Find out what support the client wants from you)

(Your own question here)

(Your own question here)


EXERCISE SEVEN.

Use the template below to draft a sheet to record relevant information from

each coaching session.

Client: Date of session:


Appendix 1

24-HOUR PRIORITIES. Notes for coaches.

The following forms can be duplicated and sent to clients who may be

‘stuck’, resisting your efforts to DEFINE areas of obvious concern or, who

may simply need a reminder of your authority and commitment to helping

them.

Whenever you send them, you must always stipulate a date by which they

must be completed and returned.

SHEET A Invites your client to consider how they spend their time.

The outcome is an awareness of areas of wasted effort

or inappropriate time use, As a rule-of-thumb guide, the

areas of ‘most time spent’ will provide clues to Priority

areas.

SHEET B Invites your client to prioritise AREAS of issue, arising

from Sheet A.

SHEET C Invites your client to define ACTION arising from the

results of Sheet B.


Sheet A

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?No matter who you are, you have 24 hours in every day. That is 1440

minutes. No more and no less. You cannot beg, buy, borrow or steal more.

When they have gone, that is it!

Please consider how you spend your time. Think of a typical day (or a week

of seven days) and state how many hours and minutes you think you spend

on each of the activities listed. (Add more if you need to.) Remember, the

total MUST be 24 Hours.

AA: Now think just about work. Again, estimate the hours and minutes for

each

activity

Hours Minutes

Sleep

Morning Personal Needs*

Work**

Leisure***

Evening Personal Needs*

TOTAL 24 00


Hours MinutesTravel to workPreparing for workTea, coffee and lunch breaksLooking for thingsDoing things right first timeDoing things poorlyCorrecting things done poorlyWork related conversations MeetingsGiving or Receiving InstructionsGetting ready to end workTravel home

Your TOTAL Hours & MinutesMust be same as at ** above


AB: Now do the same for Leisure.

AC: Now do the same for Personal Needs.

ACTION TIME:

"Circle the two items that take the longest time in each of charts AA, AB and AC.

"Circle the two items that take the shortest time in each of these charts.

"Could the longest times be reduced? Why or why not?

"Are the shortest times adequate? Why or why not?

Hours MinutesWashing/BathingHair/Make-upClothing PreparationDressing/UndressingSexOtherFood Prepare/Eat

Your TOTAL Hours & MinutesMust be same as at * above

Hours Minutes

Watching Television

Reading

Hobbies

Exercise

Creativity

Thinking

Socialising at home

Socialising out

Spiritual/Faith

Meditation

Personal Development

Health Improvement

Conversation

Family Quality Time

Your TOTAL Hours & MinutesMust be same as at *** above


Sheet B

CONSIDER YOUR PRIORITIES

First, answer these questions.

Using the answers on the previous two sheets to kick-start your thoughts…

"What needs less attention?

"What needs more attention?

"How would you like to spend more time?

"Where would you like to spend less time?

"What is missing in WORK that should be there?

"What is missing in LEISURE that should be there?

"Would your work colleagues agree?

"Would your family agree?

"What is most important to you right now?

"If you could do ANYTHING with no limits ñ what would it be?

You cannot do everything at once. So, using your answers to the above

questions, write the three that are most important to you. Put the most

important first, then the next and then the third in order.

1st Priority ______________________________________________________

2nd Priority ______________________________________________________

3rd Priority ______________________________________________________

Copy these out on post-it notes or postcards and stick them in your car,

wallet, private locker, desk drawer and any place where you will see them

often.


Sheet C

DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS

If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got!

To change something, you must take action!

The outcomes of the action are more important than the action itself!

Considering each of your priorities from the last sheet, think of two actions

that you could take in the next seven days to improve matters. Then three

that you should take and, finally, one that you WILL take.

Congratulations! Now you know what you could do, what you should do

and, above all, what you WILL do. Keep this promise to you. Deliver.

Repeat this exercise as often as you wish and ask your coach for more sets

of forms when you need them.

PRIORITY

1st

2nd

3rd

Could

ACTIONS

SHOULD WILL!!


PEST CONTROL(PEST = Psychic Energy Sink Topics)

It is an unfortunate fact of life that, despite your best intentions, there may

be people, places, events or things that sap your energy, erode your

enthusiasm, damage your determination or paralyse your plans.

In the same way that some electronic devices have a ‘heat sink’ to dissipate

unwanted heat, we suggest that these things are ‘psychic energy sink

topics’… or PESTs.

There is only one way to control a PEST - extermination action.

If you are feeling under par, the chances are that you have a PEST to deal

with. So deal with it by deciding on and executing an action plan.

(CAUTION: The name of the game is a zero score. Don’t be tempted to see how many you can

collect!)

THE TOP 56 MOST COMMON PESTS


Negative people

Family conflict

No friends

Unanswered messages

Outstanding letters

No sex

Forgiveness wanted

Relationship ending

Relationship starting

Lacking confidence

Always unpunctual

Missing deadlines

Poor productivity

Difficulty communicating

Computer illiterate

Non-assertiveness

Information overload

Personal sloppiness

Professional sloppiness

Dead ended

Dirty car

Cluttered cupboards

Wrong environment

Broken items

Excess television

World events

Lacking beauty

Feeling bored

Unpaid bills

Unpaid taxes

Unpaid fines

Bad credit

Resource lack

No savings

No will

No insurance

Extravagance

Incorrect diet

Low self-esteem

Avoiding dentists

Poor sleep

Avoiding doctors

Negative thoughts

Illegal activities

Lacking hobbies

Lacking faith

Telling lies

Nicotine

Alcohol

Gambling

Prescribed drugs

Illegal drugs

Addictive behaviour

Fears

Anxieties

Doubts


YOUR COACHING SESSION REMINDER LISTEvery coaching session is special. It is an exchange of ideas and

comments with your coach so, obviously, it cannot be scripted in advance.

Even so, you may find it useful to have a crib sheet of topics to talk about.

So here it is. You don’t have to use them all. It is just to get your thoughts

on track. Just tick the ones that you feel you might want to use.

Feelings about… self

others

health

work

finances

attitudes

other

Good events… achievements

changes

insights

happiness

other

Other events… disappointments

decisions

concerns

other

Future events… plans

visits

goals

actions

strategies

other

Help areas… stuck

unsure

other


IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR COACHING SESSIONYou know about the importance of written goals. So, as soon as you end

your coaching session and before you do anything else, take a few

moments to complete this sheet and refer to it regularly before your next

session.

"The most useful points arising during this call.

"The actions that I have agreed to take before the next session.

"The actions that I want to take - even if not agreed - before the next

session.

"Any unfinished business or matters to raise at the next session.


BEFORE YOUR NEXT CALL TO YOUR COACHIt can be all too easy to forget to mention something as you get caught up

with enthusiasm during your session. Take a few minutes to complete this

form before each call. It will help you to get in the right mindset for an

effective session.

"Accomplishments, achievements, wins, happy times since the last

session.

"Actions planned and agreed but not achieved or fully completed.

"Challenges or issues that are faced right now.

"Opportunities to deal with any challenges or issues right now.

"The key issues to raise during this call.

"Anything else that you want to mention.


IntroductionYOUR NINE STEPS TO ACHIEVEMENT

This ‘Nine Step’ procedure is a useful tool for determining priorities.

The next page provides a blank pro-forma that can be used for any specific

area of human experience.

The following pages offer examples of stairways for Personal Life, Career

and Management.

There are no limits to the numbers of stairways that you can create.

If, for instance, ‘Finance’ appears at Step 9 on your Personal Life stairway,

you may find it useful to create a new stairway headed ‘Finance’ and to

select nine words. (No more, and no less!) These might include:-

Tax

Credit

Debts

Bills

Fun

Essentials

Interest

Control

Accounts

By using single key words, you are helping to focus your mind on what is

important.

This is intended to be an enjoyable way of deciding your priorities.

So go ahead. Enjoy. Prioritise. And then define your action!


Personal LifeYOUR NINE STEPS TO ACHIEVEMENT

When you have gained total achievement at every step, they will all look like the bottom step in thestairway above.When that happens, you no longer have a stairway. You have a complete rectangle.Then you no longer need these steps, you can take a lift or elevator straight to the top.Then you repeat the process with another category or set of nine words.

Take a few moments to consider each of the nine words on your Selector

Pad.

Select the one that you are most satisfied with at the moment and write it in

Step 1.

Select the one that you are least satisfied with at the moment and write it in

Step 2.

Continue this process, allocating one word to each step, according to your

level of satisfaction, until you have used all nine words and steps. (Only

one word per step.)

The completed stairway provides a clear indication of the priority that you

should give to each area. Step 9 is your highest priority and should take

most of your attention, Step 8 requires slightly less and so on, down to

Step 1 where you need only do more of whatever you are doing now - as it

obviously works for you!


987654321

YOUR SELECTOR PAD

A: PERSONAL LIFELifestyleCareerFinanceHealthLeisureFamilyFriendsLove-lifeGrowth

Your objective is to find this exercise impossible. This happens when you

can truthfully need to put all nine words in Step 1.


Working LifeYOUR NINE STEPS TO ACHIEVEMENT

When you have gained total achievement at every step, they will all look like the bottom step in thestairway above.When that happens, you no longer have a stairway. You have a complete rectangle.Then you no longer need these steps, you can take a lift or elevator straight to the top.Then you repeat the process with another category or set of nine descriptive words.


Pad.


Step 1.


Step 2.



one word per step.)






Empowering the Coaching Relationship Page 1 7 6

987654321

YOUR SELECTOR PADB: WORKING LIFE

OrganisationProgressResults

RelationshipsEfficiencyReliability

ClutterDeadlinesRewards

Working LifeYOUR NINE STEPS TO ACHIEVEMENT

When you have gained total achievement at every step, they will all look like the bottom step in thestairway above.When that happens, you no longer have a stairway. You have a complete rectangle.Then you no longer need these steps, you can take a lift or elevator straight to the top.Then you repeat the process with another category or set of nine descriptive words.


Pad.


Step 1.


Step 2.



one word per step.)







987654321

YOUR SELECTOR PAD

C: MANAGEMENTOrganisation

ProgressResults

RelationshipsPlanningBudgetsChangeRewardsDirection

YOUR NINE STEPS TO ACHIEVEMENT

When you have gained total achievement at every step, they will all look like the bottom step in thestaircase above.When that happens, you no longer have a staircase. You have a complete rectangle.Then you no longer need these steps, you can take a lift or elevator straight to the top.Then you repeat the process with another category or set of nine words.


987654321

YOUR SELECTOR

PAD

Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 4 - EMPOWERING THE COACHINGRELATIONSHIP


Week 5

THE SKILLOF LISTENING



Version 2011/1

PreviewYou may have heard this phrase…

If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you’ve

got there?

Here is where you are going in this module which is designed for:-

"Enhancing your knowledge of the listening process

"Understanding the key elements of effective listening

"Assessing your own listening skills

"Reflecting on your learning and recognising your development

needs

"Giving you opportunities to practice and improve your skills

"Relating your knowledge of the skill of listening to your role as a

coach

Please work through the suggested activities as you come to them. They

will help you to:-

"Assess your own level of skills

"Reinforce your learning

"Reflect on your learning

"Recognise your development needs and

"Plan opportunities to practice your skills

The art and skill of listeningA good coach is a good listener. An excellent coach is an excellent listener.

Listening is an art form and a skill.

The Skill of Listening Page 194

Week 5THE SKILL OF LISTENING

It is important to start where you are now by finding out how good your

listening skills are. Turn to Activity 1. This will give you a benchmark that

you can use to assess your progress. Which of the following terms best

describes you as a listener?

Superior Excellent Above average Average Below average

Poor Terrible

Around 85 people out of every 100 rate themselves as average or less

than average. If you are one of this great majority you have much to gain

from this module.

Prepare for Activity 2. Choose one person from each of the following

categories and ask them to honestly rate you as a listener:

"your best friend

"your boss

"a colleague

"your partner

Use the same descriptions that you used for your own assessment.

Most people find that their best friend rates them most highly as a good

listener. Analyse your responses and make a note of any development

areas within your own circle of influence. Note the types of scenarios and

relationships where you are more highly rated and think about how you can

replicate your skills in less favourable environments.

What listening meansThe English dictionary defines listen as ‘to give attention in hearing’.

Note the key words ‘give attention’. In every aspect of your life, whether


you are coaching, managing, teaching or communicating in the role of a

business partner, as a parent, friend or casual acquaintance – in all walks

of life you are required to listen. By practising and becoming aware of the

key elements of active listening you can work to build up an atmosphere of

trust and respect with the person that you are listening to. Effective

listening is a key skill that will transform all areas of your life.

When you say or think, ‘You’re not listening to me’, how do you know that?

What clues are you picking up from the person you are talking to?

Often, their body language tells you they are not paying full attention to

what you are saying, they may be looking around the room or engaged in

an activity that takes their attention away from what you are saying. They

may be showing they do not want to hear your message by exhibiting

negative body language – arms folded across the chest, poor eye contact

or perhaps total absence of eye contact. How does that make you feel?

Do you always listen to other people, really listen, giving your full attention

to what is being said, how it is being said, and perhaps what is not being

said?

In the early stages of the coaching relationship, your clients want to please

you and they may only tell you what they want you to hear. You must listen

to hear. Listening is hearing with attitude. If you rely totally on your ability

to hear, you will instinctively hear what you want to hear. As a life coach you

must hear much more.

Imagine a jug of water that is full to the brim. What will happen if you

attempt to pour more water into that jug? It does not take a great deal of

imagination to picture the jug overflowing because there is literally no

space for any more water. The jug is already full.


There is a very fundamental link between this simple analogy and the skill

of listening. Imagine that your mind is that full water jug. It is crowded with

thoughts and ideas, all buzzing around inside your brain. It is full. When

someone talks to you and tries to add some more thoughts and ideas into

your crowded mind you are unable to take the new ideas on board. There

is no space left to consider anything new. New thoughts are crowded out

by what is already filling your mind.

This simple but powerful imagery shows the need to make space in your

mind to become an effective listener. You need to empty out some of the

surplus water and make room for some new, fresh water.

This module explores seven different aspects of listening:-

"Listening as a skill

"The difference between hearing and listening

"The listening process

"Barriers to listening

"How effective are your listening skills?

"Levels of listening

"The whole body approach to listening.

Listening as a skillListening is an underrated skill, and few people fully understand or

appreciate the complexities and intricacies of good, active listening.

Cast you mind back to when you were at school. Remember being taught

how to write, and recall practising your letters and words, progressing to

writing poems, plays and stories.

Research shows that writing is the most taught language skill, and yet used

only 9% of the time. Reading is another vital skill and schools devote a


great deal of time to phonics, word-building and reading techniques. We

use reading 16% of the time. And now for the punch line – listening is

taught the least, and yet used for a massive 45% of the time.

Speaking fares a little better than listening in terms of taught time, but

even this skill is used for a mere 30% of the time!

When you listen, you are often paying more attention to your own internal

dialogue and responses to what you are hearing. Already you are not fully

listening. You may think, ’Here we go again, I know exactly what he is going

to say next!’

You may think that you have heard it all before and mentally or physically

finish someone else’s sentence. Maybe someone has done that to you,

how did you feel? What does that tell you about the person who is

supposed to be listening to you? At what point did they decide they already

knew what you were going to say and stop really listening?

Listening is a critical skill; it encompasses communication through the

actual words spoken, tone of voice and body language. With the addition of

some knowledge about the nature of listening, listening skills can be

taught, understood, and enhanced through constant practice and

reflection.

Hearing and listeningIt was no accident that human beings were designed with two ears and one

mouth, we were designed to listen more than we speak.

Listening involves connecting, transmitting and hearing messages, and

demonstrating that what you hear is important. As Stephen Covey says in The 7

Habits of Highly Effective People, ‘Seek first to understand then be understood.’


In other words, listen first before you speak. Another way of putting this is,

diagnose before you prescribe, a principle that can be applied to many

areas of life. It is the mark of all true professionals.

Typically, as people, we seek first to be understood. Most people listen, not

with the intent of trying to understand, but with the intention of making a

reply to what is being said.

We often use the expression ‘I hear what you say’ – but do we? In fact,

hearing and listening are two very different processes. You hear with your

ears. You listen with your mind and body. Hearing is a physical attribute, it

is an awareness of sound, a physiological process. Listening is a mental

process, the messages received are converted through the intellectual

process, so that what you hear becomes something that you can connect

with and comprehend.

Hearing is an inherent ability. The ability to hear sounds can be assessed

very early on in life. Babies respond to loud noises by jerking and moving

their heads to where the sound is coming from. Hearing is caused by sound

waves vibrating the eardrum.

Listening begins when the sound waves pass via the auditory nerve to the

brain where they can be interpreted as meaningful sounds. Listening is an

acquired skill, a mental process that can be learned and refined with

practice.

To sum up, the difference between hearing and listening is fundamental to

your understanding of the listening process. In essence, hearing is a

physical, involuntary process, whereas listening requires your brain to be

in gear and your mental processes alert to interpret what you are hearing.

People who have a hearing impairment listen in more active ways, they use


lip reading techniques, interpret signs and are probably far more aware of

the messages of body language when interpreting the messages that they

are receiving.


The listening processTo be a really effective listener, you we have to go through the following

processes: receiving, analysing and transmitting.

In a conversation, this translates into a five step process:-

"receiving the message.

"understanding the message – both of these are possible when

listening to information from a CD or tape or television

broadcast.

"checking the message – this isn’t possible for you at the moment

because this is not a conversation.

"absorb the message.

"Transmit your reply – in other words, you go through the four

processes above in preparation for your contribution to the

conversation.

There may well be interruptions, and it is a good idea to have strategies to

deal with these. Regardless of the context of the situation, whether you are

listening to a small child, your partner, a friend, a client, or your boss, the

process is the same.

To give yourself the best chance of receiving the message that is being

transmitted, here are five strategies you can use to enhance your listening

skills:-

"Concentrate with your eyes and your ears.

"Maintain comfortable eye contact.

"Sit or stand up straight – if you slouch physically you will slouch

mentally – you need to be wide-awake and alert.

"Focus on the main themes of what is being said rather than the

individual words.

"Expect to be interested – otherwise you may quickly become

bored and lose interest.


The next step is to think about the message you are receiving, and to check

and clarify the information you have received. by paraphrasing what has

been said in your own words. Use phrases that begin:-

"So I am I right in thinking… ?

"I get the feeling you are telling me…

"From what you’ve said I understand…

If you’re not sure what the message is – ask! To gain clarification and

understanding you will need to use phrases like:-

"Tell me more about…

"How did you feel when… ?

"What is the most important issue here?

"If you could summarise what you’ve said in one or two sentences

what would you say?

To help you to gain a full understanding, be aware of the visual clues:-

facial expressions, body posture and body language. If you are coaching

a client by telephone you will need to listen very carefully for non-visual

clues like tone of voice, pauses, use of silences and the pace of the

speech patterns.

All these techniques help you check and verify that you have understood

and received the correct message.

There are barriers to effective listening. Here is a formula devised by a

leading coach and author Timothy Galway.

PERFORMANCE equals POTENTIAL minus INTERFERENCE

In perfecting your listening skills you need to be able to recognise and

eliminate all sources of interference. In his book The Inner Game of Tennis,

Galway recognises that barriers to listening can be external or internal. As

a coach you need to be aware of any barriers you might have.


A client may be exploring an issue that you have had personal experience of

and this may set up personal interference – thoughts like ‘that happened to

me’ – your mind may wander as you begin to relive the feelings you had during

that experience.

A situation or phrase might ‘ring a bell’ in your own memory bank. As soon

as this happens you will be inclined to listen through the filter of your own

experience and follow the same thought patterns and reach the same

conclusion. These judgmental thoughts must be put aside if you are to have

a real chance of receiving the true message that is being transmitted.

It is very helpful to have a phrase to bring to mind to stop this internal

barrier to listening. Tell yourself, ‘Stop! This isn’t my issue’ or, ‘Concentrate

on the client’. Make a note of a phrase that will help you to re-focus your

attention on your client when you feel your attention wandering.

Other internal barriers are about your own perceptions of the world, your

inbuilt pre-conceptions about situations or people. For example, ‘All

managers are control freaks’ or, ‘Money is the root of all evil.’ These are

filters to listening.

As a coach you will need to take care not to prejudge your client as this will

colour your interpretation and understanding of what they are trying to put

across. You must put your own ego trips on hold for the duration of the

conversation. Your focus must be on your client and not on your opinions.

Your mood may be another internal barrier to your effectiveness as a listener.

If you have had a bad day and are feeling fed up with life, the chances are

that you will focus on the gloomy aspects of the message. You will tune in to

the parts that match your mood. If you are having a great day, and begin

working with a client in a buoyant, happy frame of mind the converse is true.

You will focus on the good news messages and filter out the bad.


Your current thoughts can be a barrier. You may be thinking about trivial

things like, ‘Have I got time to wash my hair before I go out’. You may be

planning a meal for a special occasion, or worrying about unpaid bills.

Whatever you are thinking about must be abandoned so that you can focus

totally on what your client is saying.

Barriers to listening may be internal, within you and invisible but

nevertheless very real, or they may be external. External barriers are more

tangible, background noise, telephones, fax machines, movement of

people around you, time pressures, physical discomfort, finishing off

people’s sentences and so on.

Before beginning a coaching session you must:-

"Remove internal barriers by emptying your mind of your own

thoughts and preoccupations.

"Eliminate external barriers and make space to listen fully to your

client.

"Establish a listening environment to allow you, the coach, space

to listen fully and the client the space to talk without

interruptions or barriers.

To help you to listen effectively and concentrate fully on your client, remind

yourself of the following points:-

"Sit up straight.

"Block out internal distractions.

"Ignore external distractions.

"Keep interested should distractions occur.

"Maintain comfortable eye contact.

"Use friendly, encouraging non-verbal gestures – nods, smiles.

"Give verbal encouragement to show you are still listening – make

sure these sounds are non-judgemental – things such as ‘mmm’,

‘I see’, ‘U-huh’, ‘Go on’.


"Take notes if appropriate – it is a good idea to explain to your

client why you are taking notes – and remember you need to

maintain eye contact so a few words and phrases to jog your

memory should be enough – you won’t be able to fully listen if

you are writing!

"Use pauses as thinking time and don’t rush to fill the space with

a question.

"Remember the golden rule – as a coach you should be listening

to your client for 70% of the time and talking for 30%. In your

practice sessions it is a good idea to ask your mentor coach to

estimate the percentage of time you spend listening and

speaking.

Pauses and silenceYou need to practice and feel comfortable with the management of pauses and

silences. Within the coaching context it is crucial to be able to interpret silence,

and not feel obliged to fill the gap by re-phrasing the question, or by, asking

another question.

During a period of silence your client may be simply thinking about the

answer to your question, they may be ‘brainstorming’ in their own mind and

they may be going off at a tangent and thinking about another topic entirely.

Your skill lies in judging the meaning of periods of silence, and in spotting

the differences between a productive, thinking silence and the type of

silence which indicates that your client is confused about the question, or

needs more clarification before answering.

Clients do sometimes get temporarily lost. As you get to know your client

you will sense whether they will let you know if they are confused, or

whether it is preferable for you to break the silence. Whatever the reason


for silence, the client will usually tell you if they are uncomfortable about it

– take your cue from them.

This is particularly challenging when coaching over the telephone as you

will be unable to pick up on any body-language clues, and will have to rely

on your intuitive responses. Depending on your knowledge of the thinking

patterns of your client, after a prolonged period of silence (remember that

three or four seconds of silence at the other end of a telephone can feel

like a long time) you might chose to use an open question as a prompt:-

"How can I help you move forward here?

"What clarification do you need so that you can answer the

question?

"What are you thinking about at this time?

Or you may choose to use a closed question such as:-

"Would you like me to repeat the question?

"Would it help if I re-worded the question?

When establishing the coaching relationship with a new client, you might

discuss, ‘How do you want me to respond if I think you are stuck and

unable to answer my question. Will you tell me? Or would you like me to

wait for a signal from you?’

Filters that affect your ability to listenActivity 3 will help you to understand the filters that affect your listening.

You’ll need to write down your responses:-

"Describe your job or something you have done that you enjoyed

doing.

"Recall a time when you have been successful – write down what

it felt like.

"Jot down what made you choose your present career or way of working.


"Write down three things that are important about what you do.

"How do you know when you have done something well?

You should have a few sentences or words corresponding to each exercise.

Your responses may identify the following filters:-

Size

Do you see the big picture or a small chunk? How did you describe the

piece of work you enjoyed – the whole project or the detail? Are you

interested in the image of the whole car or the detail of the fuel

consumption and performance – do you consider the decor of a room as a

total effect, or do you look at each individual component?

Movement

Are you a moving away person or a moving towards person? When choosing

a job, vocation or career did you speak about getting away from the rat-

race, escaping from the 9 to 5 routine – a moving away filter – or about

making a positive choice, being in charge of your own time – a moving

towards filter?

Involvement

Did you describe what is important to you as though you were there, very

associated and involved, or as though you were looking at what you had

done from afar? Is your filter one of association or disassociation?

Timing

You have a preferred time zone and this affects the way that you perceive

the world. Although people move between the three zones, most people

have a preferred method of measuring their world – it may be:-

"through the PAST – phrases like ‘this is the way we’ve always

done it’ are typical of this type of filter.

"through the PRESENT – this type of filter is concerned with what


events mean in the here and now.

"through the FUTURE – future oriented people are always thinking

about where they will be next week, next month or next year.

Procedures and optionsAre you a person who likes to focus on process, or are you geared towards

exploring options and possibilities? Did you respond to question 5 by

describing how you did something, or did you look towards the possibilities

that this achievement has opened up for you?

You need to be aware of your own filters to listening and the filters imposed

by your clients when they listen and respond to your questions.

As a coach you must come to the coaching session as an empty vessel,

otherwise you will never truly hear your client. Why not practise in your

every day life? Try listening, truly listening and hearing as many day-to-day

conversations as you can. Observe people in dialogue in a whole range of

situations – in shops, meeting friends, in restaurants, standing in queues,

talking on the phone, chatting during a family meal, on chat shows – the

list is endless – and see how little listening takes place compared to the

amount of hearing. This is Activity 4.

We have already investigated the differences between hearing and

listening, the difference between using our ears to hear sounds and using

our minds to process what we hear and to interpret the information we are

receiving.

In all aspects of your life you need to consider how you are nurturing a thinking

environment – whether listening to family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances,

your communication and understanding will be greatly enhanced when you work

at creating the optimum environment for active listening.


In her book, A Time to Think, Nancy Kleine recognises ten elements of

pure listening. You might like to follow up this reference as part of your on

going professional development. Here are six elements of her model

"ATTENTION: Listening with respect, fascination and genuine

interest.

"INCISIVE QUESTIONS: Pure listening will enable you to respond

with an incisive question - these are used to remove

assumptions and limiting beliefs and ideas.

"EQUALITY: Being really clear about your agreement with your

client, and keeping within agreed boundaries.

"APPRECIATION: The balance between appreciation and criticism.

As a general rule you should work towards achieving a ratio of

5:1 – five confirming, appreciative comments to every one critical

remark. In the coaching situation you are working in a non-

judgmental environment, so appreciation is the key here –

making certain that you recognise, celebrate and praise each

small step your clients make towards achieving their goals.

"EASE: Offering your client the freedom from rush or urgency,

allowing time for the relationship to develop.

"ENCOURAGEMENT: You have a key role in motivating and

encouraging your clients to take action – so listening and

responding to what they are really telling you is vitally important.

You may find it useful to make a list of the key elements of pure listening,

and to display them where they can be easily seen as a daily reminder that

this is a skill to keep in mind and practise regularly.

How well do you listen? We all make mistakes and get things wrong, that

is how we learn. In fact, mistakes can be more positively viewed as learning

experiences and opportunities. Think of a time when you learnt something

from doing something right. It is difficult because we genuinely do learn to

improve our practise by doing and reviewing. Use every opportunity you


have to practise and refine your listening and to work at creating a positive

listening environment in whatever situation you find yourself in.

We all think we listen, but how often do we find ourselves having a

conversation with a partner, colleague or friend and filling in the gaps,

finishing their sentences, doing something else while we are listening and

generally paying scant attention to what is actually being said?

The lesson here is that the skill of listening requires practise, discipline

and attention.

Earlier on you made a basic assessment of the quality of your listening.

Since then you have read a wealth of information about the skill of

listening. Now it is time to focus on the more specific elements of your

skills, and to explore the finer detail of the way you behave as a listener.

So you are now moving on from:- ‘How good a listener am I?’ to the more

revealing:- ‘How effective are my listening skills?’

Activity 5 will enable you to assess where you are now in terms of your

listening skills.

Complete each statement as honestly as you can:-

"If I had to choose between speaking and listening the choice

would be………………..

"I tend to interrupt people when……………………….

"When people are expressing their emotions I

feel………………….

"I find it easy to listen to people when……………

"When I listen to someone I tend to ………………

"People I tend to find it difficult to listen to include………………

"Listening comes easy to me when…………….


"I become easily distracted when I am listening if……………..

"If I can’t have my say I feel…………….

"The best listener I know is ………………………………………

because …………………………

"I like people who listen to me ……………………………..

Review your responses to these statements. Try and identify which aspects

of listening are your strengths and which areas you need to develop.

Now you have gained an insight into you own listening ability, you are ready

to complete the final three statements:-

"Habits I find irritating in a speaker include ……………………

"I know I actively listen well when ………………..

"To become a more effective listener I need to …………………

You have just completed a very valuable exercise in recognising where your

own development needs attention. Remember to celebrate the aspects

that you feel confident with and note the aspects that you need to actively

work on and improve.

This is an exercise that should be reviewed on a regular basis, regardless

of how experienced you become. It will ensure your commitment to

becoming an effective coach, and enable you to sustain your performance

as an excellent listener.

You will already have realised that listening is a very complex skill. In their

book Coaching and Mentoring, Eric Parsloe and Monika Wray categorise

the skill of listening into three very distinct levels:-

"PERIPHERAL LISTENING at an almost sub-conscious level.

Imagine being in a crowded room and overhearing someone

mentioning your name and you turn towards the speaker –

listening on this level is more of an awareness of the general gist


of a conversation.

"APPARENT LISTENING. You look as though you are listening –

the external signs are giving this message, but internally your

thoughts are elsewhere, you are not fully concentrating on the

conversation.

"ACTIVE OR EFFECTIVE LISTENING where you hear what is being

said, why it is being said and – perhaps more importantly in the

coaching arena – what is not being said.

As a coach you will need to prepare yourself and your environment to

facilitate active listening. You can do this in three stages. Select the right

location for the listening to take place, create the right atmosphere, where

you can feel relaxed and can empathise with your client, avoiding the need

for defensive behaviour. And finally, practice listening behaviour by keeping

an open mind, trying and getting to the core of the message and, being

sensitive to facial expressions and body language.

Remember to take the time to check your listening, check the message,

and summarise and feedback what you have heard.

In Co-active Coaching, Laura Whitworth suggests another model for

listening on three levels. Although it is similar to that of Parsloe and Wray,

studying their model will reinforce your knowledge and understanding of the

basic concepts.

They describe LEVEL ONE LISTENING as INTERNAL LISTENING - where the

attention is on ourselves. We are focusing on our response to what is being

said – how we are feeling about what we are hearing. This might mean that

we are judging the client or interpreting their words according to our own

frame of reference or experiencing feelings that are being evoked by their

words. The key question we are asking ourselves is ‘What does this mean

to me?’ This level of listening does not form part of the coaching


relationship.

LEVEL TWO LISTENING – is described as FOCUSED LISTENING – it is at

the level where all the listening is directed at the client. There is not much

awareness of outside stimuli, as a coach you are listening to the words,

expressions and emotions of your client. You are focusing on what they are

saying and what they are not saying, what they value, their vision and their

energy levels. At this level of listening a coach should have no thoughts, no

opinions and no agenda. A coach should be unattached to themselves and

focused on the client’s agenda, thoughts and their opinions. Even over the

telephone it is possible to pick up a number of non-verbal signals that help

to give you, as a coach, more information about how a client is feeling

about a particular issue.

LEVEL THREE LISTENING is described as GLOBAL LISTENING. Like a radio

field. The radio waves are entirely invisible, yet we can trust they exist

because we hear music coming from the radio. Level three is like the radio

waves. They cross our antenna and they become information that we can

use. When we are operating our listening at level three we are using all our

senses to observe everything about the message that is being transmitted

to us and we are allowing our intuition to pick up ‘sixth sense’ messages

which we can check out with the client. You might chose to say ‘I don’t

know where this is coming from, and it may not be relevant, but I sense

that…’ Level three listening often provides the key that unlocks the

meaning for the coach and enables them to have a greater understanding

of the client’s agenda and consequently to work more effectively with that

client.

During a coaching session you will spend your moving between level two

and level three listening, depending on which stage of the coaching

process you are working in.


Effective coaching hinges on making certain that we empathise with our

clients rather than sympathise. Author, Stephen Covey, describes empathic

listening as listening fully and deeply, understanding the person you are

listening to emotionally as well as intellectually. His description fits well

with the model of level three listening, and is worth quoting here to deepen

your insight into this core skill.

Covey says “Empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you

accurate data to work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography

and assuming thoughts, feelings, motives and interpretation, you’re

dealing with the reality inside another person’s head and heart. You’re

listening to understand. You’re focused on receiving the deep

communication of another human soul.”

SummaryThrough your study of this module you will have gained:-

"a clear knowledge of the difference between hearing and

listening - the difference between listening to sounds with your

ears and listening to information and interpreting it with your

brain.

"an in-depth understanding of the key elements of effective

listening, and an appreciation of the power of listening with all

your senses – level three listening.

"an appreciation of what constitutes a high quality listening

environment.

"information on how to prepare yourself to listen in any situation.

"an excellent overview of your own skills as an effective listener.

"an insight into your own development needs – and a record of the

action you need to take to enhance your own listening skills.

The focus of all of these learning outcomes is to prepare you to use your


skills, knowledge and understanding in the coaching situation and beyond.

Everything a coach does depends on effective listening. What you hear

helps you to make decisions on what to do or say next, so, developing your

listening skills is a vital part of your personal growth towards being a great

coach.

One final message – keep practising, none of us is perfect, however as a

coach your commitment to yourself and to your clients must be to strive to

be the best you can be!


Activity 1

Do you know how good your listening skills are?

Put a tick by the word that best describes where you are now – and add the

date for your records:

Use the table below to assess your progress as you practise your listening

with family, friends, colleagues and clients.

LEVEL OF SKILL YOUR ASSESSMENT DATE

SUPERIOR

EXCELLENT

ABOVE AVERAGE

AVERAGE

BELOW AVERAGE

POOR

TERRIBLE

My own notes:


SUPERIOR

EXCELLENT

ABOVE AVERAGE

AVERAGE

BELOW AVERAGE

POOR

TERRIBLE


Activity 2

Use this grid to assess how other people rate your listening skills.

Date:

Use this second chart as a check on your progress.

Make sure you have had plenty of opportunities to practice your listening

skills before making a re- assessment.

Date:


SUPERIOR

EXCELLENT

ABOVE AVERAGE

AVERAGE

BELOW AVERAGE

POOR

TERRIBLE

My own notes:


SUPERIOR

EXCELLENT

ABOVE AVERAGE

AVERAGE

BELOW AVERAGE

POOR

TERRIBLE


Activity 3

What are the filters that might affect your own ability to listen?

Identify the main filters you use using your responses to the questions on

the previous sheet:

My size filter is:

1. Describe your job or something you have done that you enjoyed doing:

2. Recall a time when you have been successful – write down what it felt like:

3. Jot down what made you chose your present career or way of working:

4. Write down three things that are important about what you do:

5. How do you know when you have done something well?


My procedures and options filter is:

My timing filter is:

My involvement filter is:

My movement filter is:


Activity 4

Personal observation sheet.

Use this sheet to note down any significant learning points from your day-

to-day observations of listening:

SITUATION:

OBSERVATIONS & LEARNING POINTS:

SITUATION:


SITUATION:



Activity 5

How effective are my Listening Skills?’

Date:

1. If I had to choose between speaking and listening the choice would

be………………..

2. I tend to interrupt people when……………………….

3. When people are expressing their emotions I feel………………….

4. I find it easy to listen to people when……………

5. When I listen to someone I tend to ………………

6. People I tend to find it difficult to listen to include………………

7. Listening comes easy to me when…………….

8. I become easily distracted when I am listening if……………..

9. If I can’t have my say I feel…………….

10. The best listener I know is ……………………………………… because

…….

11. I like people who listen to me ……………………………..


Now complete the next three statements:-

12. Habits I find irritating in a speaker include ……………………

13. I know I actively listen well when ………………..

14. To become a more effective listener I need to ………………

Areas I will work on to improve my listening skills:

REVIEW:- Key points I have learnt about myself as a listener:


Areas I will work on to improve my listening skills:


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 5 - THE SKILL OF LISTENING









Week 6

THE SKILL OFQUESTIONING


Version 2011/1

Preview.Effective questioning is one of the core life coaching skills It follows on

naturally from the skill of active, accurate, listening and observation which

is covered in another module.

The questions that you learn to ask your clients as you study and practise

will have a dramatic effect on their lives and will unlock many doors for

each of them.

Effective questioning can awaken your clients' awareness of the

possibilities, skills, talents and knowledge that they already possess or

have access to.

You do not approach a coaching session with a set of pre prepared

questions. Your questions arise directly as a result of responding to what

you hear. When you listen and really hear what your client is saying, you will

be in tune to ask the right question, at the right time and in the right way.

This enables your clients to take the necessary action to achieve their full

potential. The sequence of 'listening - questioning - client response' is

continued throughout each coaching session.

This module covers the right types of questions, their purpose, timing and

their phrasing. It considers those which you should avoid or use with great

care.

You are born with curiosity.Questioning is a natural activity, from a very early age. Once a young child

The Skill of Questioning Page 227

Week 6THE SKILL OF QUESTIONING

begins to master the art of speaking and realises that his or her words will

produce a response from the listener, they begin to ask incessant

questions in order to make sense of the world around them and sometimes

to attract attention. They are naturally curious and want to find out how

things work, why things happen or why they have to do something. They

want to know where you are going, what you are doing and why you are

doing it.

The most successful life coaches have this same curiosity about their

clients and skilfully use questions to assist mutual understandings and

bring to light their issues, values, and ambitions. You enable your clients to

devise an action plan to reach their full potential and to achieve their goals.

Think for a moment about your experience of questioning, prior to your

involvement in coaching. You were often asked questions that had a right

or wrong answer. This was reinforced in school through tests or

examinations. The more right answers, the higher your final mark.

Perhaps you found yourself searching around to come up with the answer

that the teacher wanted - only to find that your opinion or slant on the

subject was not the accepted one. If you were fortunate, open discussions

were encouraged and all answers explored and validated. Commonly, there

was no room for debate.

As a coach you must be aware that many people still hold the belief that

there are right or wrong answers. Some clients may even seek your

approval to check if their answers are acceptable.

You need to reassure and teach your clients that there are no wrong

answers in coaching, just their own, honest reflections. Each client is

unique and so are their responses. As your coaching relationship develops,

these clients will become more flexible and will learn to explore the


freedom offered by answering questions from their own perspective.

Some clients may be so rigid in their belief that there is a right answer, that

they may become defensive or feel threatened. You need to clarify and

rephrase the question and check out how the client feels. At your

preliminary coaching session it is helpful to explain how you will use

questions.

In the early days of your coaching, you may sometimes feel the need to

know the answers to your questions before you ask them. You may fall into

the trap of feeling that you need to be an expert on the issue so that you

can analyse, offer advice or know where the client should be going. This is

not so.

Your task is not to advise. It is to ask powerful, searching and challenging

questions that help your client to achieve clarity about the issue and the

ways they can address it. Be honest with yourself. If you recognise this

advisory tendency in your own personality, this module will help you to

resolve it.

The use of effective questioning can have far more impact than any

prescribed request or instruction.

How coaching questions differ.The questions used in everyday interactions are different from those used

in coaching sessions. In non-coaching situations, questions are used as a

method of:-

"Fact-finding. 'Can you tell me what time the show starts?'

"Gathering information. 'What factors have influenced ticket

sales throughout the year?'

"Interrogation. 'Why were you late home last night?'


"Opinion seeking. 'Do you like this suit?'

"Requesting consent. 'May I sit here?'

The questions that you ask in coaching are designed to make your clients

think for themselves. They operate at a much deeper level. Their purpose

is not so much for the coach or client to find the answer, but for your client

to hear the answer in his or her mind, and to respond.

The right question can cut straight to the heart of your client’s issue. It can

challenge unhelpful beliefs and assumptions, make them see the situation

in a new light, raise awareness, open up possibilities and encourage your

client to accept personal responsibility for their life.

Clients work with a coach for many different reasons and at different

stages in their life. Some clients may be used to asking self examination

questions to help them set goals. Some may be involved in relationships

or activities that encourage self reflection. Others may have never set a

goal in their lives, just following the path laid out for them by family, friends

or circumstances. These clients may be particularly vulnerable when you

encourage them to them to examine areas of their lives that they have

never previously considered. All your clients are united in their desire for

change.

Turn to Activity 1. Imagine that you have just been introduced to someone

for the first time. You get on well and they are interested in your work as a

coach. They ask you to work with them and indicate that they are unhappy

in their job. What questions would you ask to find out more about their

situation? Make a list of 10 questions you could ask this person. Then look

at the questions on your list and highlight or underline the first word in each

sentence, these are the 'question words'.

Your highlights will be words like Who, What, When, Why, How, Did, Can,


Have, Will, Has, Are, Do and Is.

Turn to Activity 2 and revisit your questions. Put yourself into the shoes of

your client and write your answers to these 10 questions.

What did you find out? Did your questions encourage you to elaborate or

were you able to give one word answers or a yes/no response?

Some question openings are more effective than others at getting the

person to speak at length and explore their ideas.

Turn to Activity 3 and make two lists. In one, list all the 'question words'

that enabled you to talk and explore your ideas and in the other list those

that encouraged a brief reply.

Types of coaching questions.It is time to explore the types of questions that you will use in coaching.

These questions are used by coaches all over the world and are referred to

in many coaching publications. Different types of questions accomplish

different results and help your clients to build answers in different ways.

As you practise using these questioning techniques and become aware of

the features of each, you will instinctively know which one to use to suit the

situation.

Open Questions.These are the predominant type of question used in coaching.

Open questions draw the client out as they offer the opportunity to look at

the broader picture. They are designed to encourage creative thought and

allow the client to explore their ideas. Open questions ask for a more


descriptive answer. They are non judgmental For example, 'Tell me more

about your plans to address this issue?' Your client feels unthreatened and

can voice their ideas in confidence. Open questions cannot be answered

with a simple 'Yes' or 'No'.

The opposite closed questions limit the person answering. They generally

elicit simple one word answers or a yes/no response. They bring an end to

the line of questioning and you have to start again. Are the following

questions open or closed?

"Have you learned anything?

"Do you have a problem solving strategy?

"Are there barriers in the way, stopping you?

"Are these the only choices available to you?

"Has this session helped you?

"Is that OK?

They are all closed questions. Look at the two lists you made earlier.

Review the words that pre-empted the limited response. Question openings

like Do, Have, Has, Is and Are; all tend to impose limits on the

conversation.

Now check your open question list. Words like Who, What, How, When and

Where; are often used to start open questions. Openings such as, 'tell me'

or 'describe to me' are also effective. You may have other good openings

on your list. It is important to remember that sometimes even the more

open words can be used to frame a closed question.

Consider the following closed questions and change them into open ones.

1. Do you have strength enough to get through this?

An open question would be, 'What strengths do you have to help you deal

with this?' This open question also encourages your client by assuming


they do have strengths to use in the situation. Alternatively a question

like…

'When have you used your strengths in a previous difficult situation?'

…encourages the client to draw on past successes and helps them

recognise they do have strengths.

2. Has this session helped you?

A reframe could be, 'How has this session helped you?' This encourages

your client to reflect on the session and identify how they have progressed

and what they have learned. 'What have you learned from this session?'

or 'What difference has this session made to you?' are other examples of

open questions.

3. Are there any barriers in the way, stopping you?

Questions like, 'What barriers are in your way?' or 'What has to happen

before you can proceed?' are open questions that can be used instead.

4. Is that OK?

The open question alternative would be, 'How do you feel about that ?' or

'What is your response to that?' They give your client the opportunity to

examine their thoughts and feelings.

5. Is that all?

'What more can you tell me?' encourages your client to dig even deeper.

6. Does this happen all the time?

'When does this happen?' or 'Where does this happen?' allow your client

to be more descriptive.

Try out open questions on your friends and colleagues. Note the five most

effective open questions that you use during the next week.


Closed questions are very useful when agreeing action and confirming

details. For example, 'When are you going to speak to your boss about a

pay rise?', 'Which days are you going to swim?', 'For how long?'

They enable you and your client to have clear, measurable goals. They can

also help to clarify as in, 'Do you need to speak to anyone else?'

Why Questions.The omission of Why questions from the earlier list is deliberate because

you must exercise great caution when you use them.

Why can often evoke a defensive response. 'Why did you do that?' can

imply criticism or disapproval. A better approach would be, 'What did you

aim to achieve by your action?'


‘Why do you like that?' promotes a need to justify, analyse or excuse. Use

the alternative of 'What is it that makes this special?' A question like,

'Why does this matter to you right now?' could be used occasionally if

your 'What' question does not reveal enough information.

Leading Questions.You will have encountered people who try to manipulate you by asking

leading questions that have the desired answer already embedded within

them.

If you ask leading questions, starting with 'Don’t you think that…?', 'Have

you thought of…?', or 'What about trying…?', your client is led to believe

that you have all the best answers and will be less likely to come up with

their own solution or to accept ownership of the decision that has been

made.

This will undermine your client's responsibility. Leading questions have no

place in your coaching toolkit. You may make a suggestion if your client is

stuck . In these instances, you must request your client's permission

before offering your idea and, even then, make clear that it has equal

weight with any other ideas presented.

Questions that follow the client’s interest.When you ask questions that follow your client's interest, you are

demonstrating that you value and respect them and acknowledging that

they can think for themselves and find their own solutions. This in turn

enables them to make choices.

Questions can be started with phrases such as 'Tell me more about?',

'You’ve mentioned a number of possible ways forward tell me about the


one that appeals to you the most?' The question is open, allowing the

client to shape the developing agenda and dialogue.

Life coaches believe in the resourcefulness of clients and encourage them

every step of the way to use them, enabling them to search for answers

within.

Questions that clarify.Questions that clarify are necessary when you are uncertain of the context

or your client's meaning. It is important that you clearly understand the

situation being described.

If you are unsure of the meaning of a word your client is using, check it out.

They will appreciate that you have been listening and are committed to fully

understanding their position. If you paraphrase or summarise for the client,

you give them the opportunity to clarify or correct. You can say, 'I think this

is what you are saying. Am I correct?' Questions like 'What will that

achieve?', can also help to enhance clarity.

Questions that challenge limiting beliefs.These are very important in your repertoire of questioning techniques.

Here are some common examples of client comments that present

negative and limiting beliefs:-

"I could never do that.

"I haven’t the confidence to make a big change.

"I don’t know what to do.

Negative beliefs, that clients hold about themselves or their situation,

prevent them from moving forward.


Sometimes your client may come up against a stumbling block and, despite

trying positive thinking or affirmations, cannot make headway in resolving

an issue. This may occur because they have come up against a limiting

belief.

For example, a person who has been brought up to inherently believe that

money is evil may not necessarily recognise that this is their limiting belief.

However, they may find it difficult to spend money on holidays or clothes,

they may experience themselves feeling uncomfortable when telling people

how much they earn. They may even be put off setting up their own

business because they cannot bring themselves to charge for their

services.

Careful questioning can challenge and expose these limiting beliefs,

granting the client freedom to choose the path they really desire. Here are

some example questions that could assist a client with a money attitude

that creates a limiting belief:-

"What do you assume is stopping you?

"What is stopping you from doing it right now?

"What beliefs do you need to adopt in order for you to do it?

"How did your family view money as you were growing up?

"What is your opinion of people who have a lot of money?

"How would you feel if you could acquire enough money to start

your own business?'

Begin with very open questions and then become more focused and

specific as the session moves on.

Incisive questions.A very useful technique in dealing with limiting beliefs is to use an incisive

question. Your client may not be able to think of any options or action steps


to take to help them achieve their goal. They are well and truly stuck!

The incisive question suspends the limiting belief for a while to allow the

client see past it, to become more creative and to come up with a possible

solution. The incisive question is a 'What if' type.

Consider a client who is working on a company project to substantially

increase sales and who has come up against a real block. Questions you

may ask are:-

"What would you do if money was no object?

"What, if you secretly knew the answer, would it be?

"What, if this obstacle did not exist, would you do?

"What, if you were performing at your best, would you do?

"What, if you didn’t have to live with the consequences, would you

do?

The 'What If' question is useful. It allows you to give your client the

freedom to be more creative. Once an idea has been generated, it can

often become a real possibility for action.

Turn to Activity 6. Imagine that you are working with a client who wants to

get fit but cannot seem to sustain any regular exercise. They tell you that

they have tried different things over the years but nothing has worked.

What would your line of questioning with this client be?

Use five key questions in your conversation.

Well, how did the coaching conversation go? Did your questions revolve

around the client’s perception of themselves as a fit and healthy person or

athlete? Did you explore how they felt about their body? Did you try out the

incisive questions, to side-step the limiting belief?


Over the next few weeks, try out these techniques with clients, friends

family or work colleagues. The next time someone says, 'I don’t know what

to do?' try the question, 'Just suppose for a minute you did know, what do

you think you’d do?' or, 'If everyone concerned, irrespective of the

outcome, said 'well done for trying', what would you do?' Initially, your

client may think the question is strange but, when you deliver it with

assurance and confidence, the results can be amazing.

Questions that check out commitment.There are questions that check out commitment or nail things down. You

will use them when you need client to commit to taking action on their

goals.

Questions like, 'What will you do?', 'When will you do it?', 'How will I

know you’ve done it?', all serve to hold the client accountable and

challenge them to take the necessary steps to move forward.

A revealing question to ask your client, once they have designed an agreed

plan of action is, 'On a scale of 1-10 how strong is your intention to carry

out the task, how committed are you to taking the action and how

enthusiastic are you about carrying out the action?'

Experience reveals that a score of 7 or below means that the action will not

be taken. If your client scores below 7 ask, 'What needs to happen to

increase the score?'

Powerful Questions.Powerful Questions help the client to make a quantum leap in perception

or understanding.


They can come from many of the categories already described. They are

usually short and to the point, designed to stop the client in their tracks.

They do not ask for analysis, excuses or reasons. They do demand honest,

truthful answers. They invite your client to look deep within themselves or

off into the future for the answers and, in so doing, raise their awareness

of what they already know and the infinite possibilities ahead.

The phrasing of the question determines where they look for the answer.

'What do you really want?' invites introspection and soul

searching.

'How will you know?' asks your client to look into the future.

'Where will this lead?', 'What is stopping you?', 'What is the

truth?' are all useful powerful questions.

Here is one that invites retrospection and future vision. 'Imagine you are

90 years old, and looking back on your life – what would you like to be

remembering? What memories do you need to be making now?'

A simple, powerful question can often cut across the excuses and bring

your client back to their core desires and challenge them to identify their

learning, to act and to move on.

Enquiry Questions.There are some questions that require more reflection. These are deeper

questions that enable your client to explore their values, reactions, feelings

or behaviour around a situation.

These are called Enquiry or Essential questions and you may give them to

you client as homework to be done between coaching sessions. They help

your client to understand themselves better, to learn about what makes


them tick and to identify their strengths and areas for development.

The questions are powerful and the self reflections can help your client's

focus. As you gain more experience as a coach, you will begin to sense

which inquiry questions would benefit your client. After you have worked

with a client for a while it may become apparent to you that the same

underlying themes, trends or issues arise with regularity. They may be

subtle or more obvious.

Here are some examples of Enquiry questions:-

"'What are you tolerating?'

"'What is it to be creative?'

"'Where do you give your power away? To whom? And when?'

"'What motivates you?'

"'What is it to be a leader?'

"'How have you withheld yourself from life?

"'What does it mean to be a good friend/parent/spouse?'

"'What are you truly grateful for?'

"'What is your contribution to the world going to be?'

"'What do you pretend to know?'

There are no definitive answers to these questions. They lie completely with

the individual client and will raise their awareness because the

subconscious mind is fully involved in finding answers. This also serves to

lift the coaching relationship out of the weekly session and implant it into

your client’s everyday life, so that it becomes a normal and instinctive

response to challenges. This client may well find new insights when they

least expect it.

You may use an Enquiry question as a natural follow up to a session. For

example, if a client expresses a desire to be successful, to drive a fast car

and to live in big house, you could ask, 'What is it to be successful?' This


invites your client to examine all aspects of success and what each aspect

really means to them.

The process may lead your client to decide that having a fast car and big

house are not crucial to their idea of success at all - or it might confirm to

them that they are. These questions can be used within the coaching

session but allowing time for a longer reflection can produce greater insight

and therefore increased motivation and commitment.

Ask yourself an Enquiry question. Ponder it over the next week.

'What is it to be a great coach?' could be an interesting one to start with!


Reframing questions from negative to positive There may be times when your client has low self esteem. When this

happens they often become critical of themselves and others. They indulge

in negative self talk. It is your role to challenge this talk and get your client

back on track.

Turn to Activity 9. Here is a series of negative questions or statements

that a client could ask, during a coaching session. Reframe them to

become positive and productive questions:-

"Why are my report writing skills so poor?

"Why do I always lose?

"Why is this happening to me?

"Why can’t I sort out this problem?

"Why can’t I have her luck?

Consider the new questions you have designed.

In response to the question, 'Why are my report writing skills so poor?',

you could ask, 'What evidence do you have for this?'. If your client’s

writing skills have caused concern, ask, 'What can you do to improve your

report writing?'

'Why do I always lose?', invites, 'What does winning look like to you?',

'What can you do to become a winner?'

'Why is this happening to me?', could be countered by, 'How can you turn

this situation around? How can you make it work to your advantage?'

'Why can’t I sort out this problem?', could be challenged by, 'How can you

begin to sort out this problem?'

'Why can’t I have her luck?', leads the client nowhere. The question,


'What can you learn from her?', allows the client to look at their friend or

colleague in a more positive way.

'How' and 'What' questions are very powerful. They push the client’s mind

to look for ways of improving skills, becoming a winner or finding an answer

to the problem. The negative 'Why' questions focus on the failure and the

client is locked into the problem.

It is an important fact that, once a question is posed, the brain is

conditioned to find an answer to it. If the client asks themselves, 'Why

can’t I solve this problem?’, they are unlikely to get a positive answer.

Whereas, the question, 'How can you solve the problem?' invites the brain

to contribute to moving things forward and the client clicks into 'problem

solving' mode.

Challenging Questions.Your aim is to raise your client’s awareness in order to help them move on.

Most of the questions you use are designed to challenge your client to

achieve great things. There will be times when these need a harder edge.

The client is, after all, paying you to coach them, keep them on track and

focused.

A client may become negative and use destructive language. For example,

'I always get things wrong', would be challenged by, 'Always?' A

statement like, 'I am stupid', could be challenged by the question, 'Says

who?' A client, disappointed at an unsuccessful job interview and feeling

they will never make it, could be asked, 'How does not getting that job

mean that you will never amount to anything?'

In that brief dialogue that follows, the coach leads the client through a

series of questions to challenge their generalisations and perceptions of


their workplace.

Client: The place I work is very unfriendly.

Coach: What makes you say that?

Client: Well nobody talks to me.

Coach: What nobody?

Client: Well some do.

Coach: Who are they?

Client: My boss, some of the girls in the office,

Coach: How many people would need to talk to you for you to feel

the place was friendly?

Client: More than that

Coach: How many more? Be specific?

Client: Everyone

Coach: How realistic is it to expect everyone in the building to be

on friendly terms with you?

Client: It’s not really.

You will challenge a client who persistently fails to carry out the agreed

actions, from week to week. Questions like:-

"'What is holding you back from achieving your goals?'

"'How important are your goals right now?'

"'What needs to happen for you to value yourself enough to give

time to your goals?'

"'How is this inaction affecting you, on a daily basis?'

Turn to Activity 10 and write 5 further questions you could use to challenge

a client in this position.

A client may set goals or establish action points that are incongruent with

their values or long held beliefs. These conflict with what they define as a

key priority in their life. In situations like these a question like 'How does


this action express your values?’ or, 'how does this action move you

towards your ultimate goal?' can force your client to review. The closed

question 'Is this morally right and fair to everyone concerned?' will

challenge the client to look at the decision afresh.

Many of the actions that a client takes as a result of your coaching will be

within the boundaries of their own comfort zone. Often, the right question

can help them 'see the path to be taken within what they already know, do,

think or believe. Continued questioning can lead to a gradual expansion of

their comfort 'zone', promoting personal growth and development.

There may be times when you sense that your client is afraid of expanding

their comfort zone or is shying away from dealing with difficult issues. In

these situations you should tread gently. Questions need to be phrased

carefully. You will sometimes need permission to ask these questions.

Powerful questions such as, 'What are you afraid of?' or 'What are you

running away from?' are very probing and you need to be aware of the

potential damage, as well as the potential growth, that this question can

bring about.

It is useful to pre-empt the question with a request for permission to 'share

your insight'. In doing this you show respect for your client. Use openings

like 'I notice that whenever we mention this issue, you appear to me to be

reluctant to discuss it. Am I reading the signs correctly? How can I help to

make it easier to move forward with this issue?’, 'I have noticed a few

things around this issue, do you mind if I share them with you?' or, 'May

we return to this issue?’

When you are listening to your client at the deepest level you will sense

intuitively the right time and approach to use.

Here is a transcript of a coaching session. The client has hired the coach


to help her achieve a balance between the demands of running a home,

career and personal life. Read carefully and identify the type of questions

asked by the coach and note the response of the client. Indicate, in the

margin, the type of questions asked.

Coach: What would you like to achieve in this session?

Client: I’d like to look at finding a bit more time for myself. To

develop my own personal space. I’m feeling a bit cramped.

Coach: Tell me more about it.

Client: Well, before I had the children, I used to do lots of things.

I’d go to the gym, read, sing in a choir, write and paint. But

these days I don’t have any time to myself and I feel

myself beginning to resent it. Then I feel guilty for feeling

like that because I love my kids and wouldn’t be without

them. But I know I get really grouchy with them. I get tired.

I find it really hard.

Coach: OK How much time would you need to restore this

balance?

Client: Ideally some time every day.

Coach: How much time every day?

Client: A couple of hours, would be great!

Coach: What will happen as a result of getting this time each day?

Client: I will feel more relaxed in myself. I will get on better with

the girls and I’ll have more to offer them and I’ll be a more

interesting person.

Coach: Interesting to whom?

Client: Interesting to me and to other people too, I suppose. I feel

that everyone just sees me as a mum and a school teacher

and that’s it.

Coach: What’s happening that tells you people view you like that?

Client: (pause) Well nothing really. It’s just the way I feel about

myself and my life right now.


Coach: But now you are going to change all that! Is that right?

Client : Yes, definitely!

Coach: So tell me what ' free' time are you managing at the

moment?

Client: I’m not!

Coach: None at all?

Client: No!

Coach: What would be the best time of the day to take your free

time?

Client: In the evening, when the girls are in bed.

Coach: So what’s happening at the moment?

Client: Well I use that time to catch up on the household chores.

I usually have a pile of washing and ironing to do. I sort out

the girls’ clean clothes for the morning, organise their

packed lunches for school. Some evenings I’ll do a bake,

or do the cleaning. We’ve got quite a big house so that

keeps me busy.

Coach: Does this happen every night?

Client: Most nights.

Coach: What happens on the other nights?

Client: There have been times when I’ve just felt too tired to do

anything, and sat in front of the T.V. with a glass of wine.

I usually end up falling asleep in front of the screen and

wake up feeling dreadful.

Coach: So what happens when you take a 'night off' like this?

Client: I get really behind with everything and feel I’ve wasted a

good evening.

Coach: What does 'getting behind' mean to you?

Client: Being out of control. Things pile up. So I have to do these

extra things when we come in from school and that’s busy

enough with preparing supper, walking the dog, helping the

girls with their homework and doing my own school prep.


Coach: Can I just check something out with you Laura? What part

does your husband play in all this?

Client: Well it’s more difficult because Paul is on the road all

week. He comes home at weekends. So the weekends are

really precious for us, as a family. I want us to spend that

time together. I don’t want to be cleaning the house then.

Coach: OK So what are the key household chores you have to do

each week?

Client: Laundry, baking and cleaning the house.

Coach: How long on average do you spend on each of these ?

Client: Well I’d say roughly about 4 hours on each over the

working week. About 12 hours in total.

Coach: What time do the girls go to bed?

Client: 8.00pm

Coach: What time do you go to bed?

Client: Well I like to be in bed by about 11pm, certainly before

midnight. There’s no way I can fit everything in within that

timeframe is there?

Coach: So, what are you going to do?

Client: I don’t know!

Coach: Let’s look at all the possible options to release two hours

in the evening. What could you do?

Client: I could get up earlier in the morning and do some chores

then

Coach: How realistic is that?

Client: Well if I set the alarm for half an hour earlier I could have

loaded the washing machine and had my shower before I get

the girls up. Yes that would be good. Its always a rush in the

morning and they always spend ages getting ready. I could

prepare breakfast while they are showering and get the car

packed. Yes that could work.

Coach: Anything else?


Client: I could do a big bake once a week, with the girls. That

would be fun. They’d like that.

Coach: How are you going to fit that in, alongside your other

commitments for that day?

Client: Well the girls would have to do their homework first. That

would be the priority and then I… I’d just have to pick up

what I didn’t do in the evening or the next morning. I know.

That doesn’t solve the problem.

Coach: You’re right. What would happen if the baking didn’t get

done?

Client: We’d have to buy ready made stuff.

Coach: So…?

Client: I wouldn’t like that. I pride myself on my home cooking. My

mother cooked for me and my brothers and I’ve always

done the same for my girls. It just wouldn’t feel right.

Coach: OK, so how did your mother manage to juggle a demanding

job, and a family and personal life?

Client: She didn’t. She never worked… So in many ways it was

easier for her I suppose.

Coach: You suppose?

Client: Yes it was easier for her. And my father was around all the

time to help out.

Coach: So what else can you do?

Client: I don’t know.

Coach: Just suppose that money was no object to your family,

what would you do?

Client: I’d hire someone to clean for me and do the laundry. I’d

encourage Paul to set up his own business, nearer to

home so he was around. I’d hire a 'live In' gourmet cook.

Coach: What else?

Client: I’d send stuff to the laundry. I’d buy in good quality

pastries and cakes.


Coach: OK so which of those options is going to help you achieve

your goal of an extra ten hours per week quality time for

yourself?

Client: Come on. I can’t really afford to do any of them.

Coach: What would you do if you thought you were worth it?

Client: (Long pause) I’d get someone in to help with the cleaning.

Coach: That sounds good to me. What’s the first step you are going to

take?

Client: I’ll make enquiries with the cleaning agency?

Coach: When?

Client: Next week

Coach: What day exactly.

Client: On Monday, on my way back from work.

Coach: How committed are you to doing this Laura?

Client: Yes very, it scores a 10. I can see it’s the best way

forward. Paul will be pleased he suggested I get some help

about six months ago and I remember feeling very

affronted and ignored it.

Coach: Laura I want to ask another question that I want you to

think about over the next week. What is it to be a

successful mother?

Client: Hmm, interesting question.

Did you notice many of the questioning techniques we have explored and

described? Many of the questions can fit into more than one category. The

coach followed an instinctive line of questioning. If you were coaching this

client, what questions would you have asked? What areas would you like to

explore with her at a later date?

The general rules of coaching questioning.


Do

"Explain to your client why you are going to use questioning and

that there are no universal answers to the questions you will ask.

" Make your questions clear so the client understands the

meaning.

"Work on building rapport with your client

"Probe to get the extra information that you need. Check with the

client, 'Is that all?' Remember you are raising their awareness.

"Listen carefully and consider the answers before responding.

"Ask permission before questioning in areas that are sensitive for

the client. The intention is to develop your client not hurt them.

Be sensitive to deep emotional problems that would best be

dealt with by a qualified therapist or counsellor.

"Acknowledge answers positively, give encouragement.

"Use a variety of questioning techniques with your client

"Be patient with your client. They may feel vulnerable as you ask

them to examine part of their life they have rarely, if ever

questioned.

Cautions

"After asking a question beware of jumping in too soon to fill the

silence. Your client may be reflecting upon the question and their

answer.

"Beware of asking complex or multiple questions. Your client will

become confused and lose sight of their goal.

"Don’t ask leading questions, this sets you up as the expert and

the client will either resent your presumption or agree with you

denying their own ideas, thoughts and feelings.

"Don’t assume you know what your client is going to say, this will

dull your deeper listening skills and you will miss the truth.

"Don’t assume that the client’s first answer is the complete reality

of the situation.


"Don’t be taken 'off track' by the client. The answers they give

may be very interesting but if they do not relate to the issue you

are discussing, intervene by politely asking how this has

relevance to the issue or how this information can lead them

forward.

"Don’t be afraid of trying. You might not always get the questions

right when you start coaching. But you will get better at them as

you practise.

Summary

You have looked at the experiences that can shape a person’s attitude to

answering questions.

You have learned that the human brain will always try to find an answer to

questions posed, regardless of what they are.

You have explored the difference between open and closed questions and

learned when to use both.

You have heard about the importance of working to the client’s agenda by

following their interest.

You have learned about the need to ask questions of your client to clarify

and confirm both understanding and actions.

You have explored the questions that are used to challenge and suspend the

negative, limiting beliefs that prevent our clients from achieving their full

potential.

You have learned about the importance of asking powerful, probing,

essential questions that challenge our clients to take stock of their

situation.


You have learned to reframe questions to make them positive and have

examined the pitfalls of asking leading questions and why questions.

To conclude, you have discovered, throughout this audio, that the effective

question is a powerful vehicle to raise your clients’ awareness, kick-start

their motivation and prompt them to take responsibility for improving their

lives. Start practising your questioning skills today and they will enable you

to become an excellent and truly effective coach.


Activity 1

Imagine that you have just been introduced to someone for the first time.

You are getting on well and they are interested in your work as a coach.

They ask you to work with them and indicate that they are unhappy in their

job. What questions would you ask to find out more about their situation?

Make a list of 10 questions you could ask this person.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________


Activity 2

Revisit your questions from EXERCISE1. Put yourself into the shoes of the

'client' and answer these questions yourself. Write down your response.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________


Activity 3

List all the question words that encourage an open response and those

that promote a limited one word answer.

Open question starters Closed question starters


Activity 4

Consider the following closed questions and change them into open ones…

Question 1

'Do you have strength enough to get through this?

________________________________________________________________

Question 2

'Has this session helped you?'

________________________________________________________________

Question 3

'Are there any barriers in the way, stopping you?'

________________________________________________________________

Question 4

'Is that OK?'

________________________________________________________________

Question 5

'Is that all?'

________________________________________________________________

Question 6

'Does this happen all the time?'

________________________________________________________________


Activity 5

Try out open questions on your friends and colleagues. Notice the quality

of the responses you get and note any learning points in your learning

journal. Make a list of the 5 most effective open questions you use during

the next week.

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Activity 6

Imagine that you are working with a client who wants to get fit but can’t

seem to sustain any regular exercise. They tell you they have tried different

things, over the years but nothing has worked.

What would your line of questioning with this client be?

Work out a dialogue between you and your ' client'. Use 5 key questions in

your conversation.


Activity 7

Over the next few weeks try out these techniques with clients, friends

family or work colleagues. The next time someone says, 'I don’t know what

to do?' try the question, 'Just suppose for a minute you did know, what

do you think you’d do?’ or, ‘if everyone concerned, irrespective of the

outcome, said ‘well done for trying’, what would you do?'


Activity 8

Ask yourself an Enquiry question. Ponder it over the next week.

Your Enquiry question…

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Activity 9

Reframe these negative questions to become positive and productive

questions.

Why are my report writing skills so poor?

Why do I always lose?

Why is this happening to me?

Why can’t I sort out this problem?

Why can’t I have her luck?


Activity 10

Write 5 questions to use with a client who is not following through on their

goals or action plan.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 6 - THE SKILL OF QUESTIONING









Week 7

CHALLENGINGLIMITING BELIEFS &

UNDERSTANDINGVALUES


Version 2011/1

PreviewThe first part of this module on beliefs and values examines the power of

the belief systems that we hold and how they ultimately influence our

performance and achievement. The second part explores the importance

of recognizing, clarifying and understanding our core values.

BeliefsA life coach must develop an understanding of the power and nature of

beliefs. These are not beliefs in the religious sense of the word, but rather

those that individuals have about themselves. So what is a belief in this

context?

The dictionary definition says a belief is, 'A principle accepted as true or

real without proof. An opinion, a conviction'.

The American personal development expert, Anthony Robbins, maintains

that 'the most important opinion a person will ever hold is the one that they

hold about themselves'.

These beliefs are the thoughts and ideas that are no longer questioned.

Because they have the power to create or destroy, because every thought,

expectation and action is a direct result of such beliefs and because they

shape the direction of our lives, they need serious examination.

So how are these beliefs formulated, where do they come from and how do

they become so well established?

Challenging Limiting Beliefs & Understanding Values Page 268

Week 7CHALLENGING LIMITING BELIEFS &

UNDERSTANDING VALUES

Where your beliefs come fromInitially, they come from other people like parents, teachers, peer group,

friends, family, the media and religion. In fact, from anyone who ever

exerted or still exerts, any influence over us. They are formed in childhood

and during adolescence.

Think back to your own childhood. How was your behaviour affected by what

someone else said about you?

Perhaps a cutting remark from a teacher or friend such as, “What a stupid

answer!” made you think twice about raising your hand again in class, for

fear of ridicule and humiliation?

Can you remember any strong beliefs that you formed about yourself or

your situation? It is very likely that those beliefs still influence your

behaviour today. If you received positive encouragement from your parents,

teachers and peers, you will have the foundation of good, healthy and

positive self beliefs.

If you were subjected to criticism, ridicule or blame, either real or perceived

by you as such, then your belief pattern will be more negative and

disempowering. All children receive some negative messages. Behavioural

scientists and child psychologists generally accept that children, under the

age of five, receive ten or more negative phrases from their parents for

every single positive one.

Some of these are for the child’s own protection but the subconscious

mind accepts all negative messages with equal value, whether they are for

their own good or not. The impact of these early messages is so strong that

child psychologists now recognise ‘verbal abuse’ as a significant issue and

an identified syndrome when dealing with troubled children.


Very often there is a push from others to conform. For many this is difficult to

resist because of the very strong need to seek approval, to fit in and to be

accepted.

Thus, initial self-image originated from your reaction to the attitudes that

other people had towards you.

Observe a baby. It reflects back the non-verbal signals it receives. It smiles

when someone smiles at it and it will probably cry if someone frowns at it. In

this constant interaction of 'receive and reflect back', a behaviour is learned

and instilled in the mind.

If a school teacher makes a careless remark like, 'You are clumsy', the

child will have the seeds of clumsiness sown in their mind. Then, every

time that the child drops something the thought, 'I am clumsy', will spring

to mind. The more they think of it, the clumsier they will become.

If that same teacher had said, “Well done, you really tried hard”. The

child’s response would have been different. It is likely that he or she would

have gone on to seek further approval by trying out new things. They would

have been encouraged to take risks and would view getting things wrong

sometimes, as a natural part of the learning process.

How your beliefs are strengthenedAdolescence and puberty are times when most people become acutely

aware of their self image and this is an age when many belief patterns are

formed and which, if left unchecked, may last a lifetime.

By adulthood, self image is a collection of all the lifetime attitudes and

opinions that have been received from others. And self image creates the

belief of who or what you are. Every human being has developed initial


beliefs in a similar way.

Byrne, who wrote The Games People Play in 1964, investigated the topic

further. He suggested that, by the age of 4 or 5, the life script was written.

By 7 it was polished and had the essential characters. By 12 years old it

was further polished and was beginning to be lived out.

Life coaches and their clients get the chance to re-visit that script, to

rewrite it and to do something different. That is the reason that clients

seek a coach, they want help to make a change. As a coach, you must have

a clear understanding of your own belief systems before you are able to

help clients come to terms with their own.

Are you aware of the belief systems that are driving you? Turn to Activity

1 now, and complete the personal belief exercises suggested.

Once you have cleared out your own irrational or erroneous beliefs and

feelings, you can introduce the same techniques to your clients in coaching

sessions. You will find that many psychological responses and beliefs are

not rational; it is just that they have never before been challenged or

questioned.

So how can childish thoughts still influence adultbehaviour?Consider an intelligent, hardworking young man, who left university with a

good degree in computer studies. His creative and innovative ideas are

often taken and developed by other colleagues because he simply lacks the

confidence to voice them in team meetings. His conversations are

peppered with phrases like, 'I know this might sound daft', or, 'this

probably won’t work'.


He is hesitant and always seeks approval before proceeding with anything.

His beliefs have developed from an early age. The youngest of a family of

three, he was completely dominated by two older sisters who made fun of

all his ideas, who thought they knew best and, who took over and made all

his decisions for him. His resultant belief, that he has nothing really useful

to contribute, completely disempowers and limits him.

Make a conscious effort over the next few weeks to notice the negative

beliefs that people hold about themselves. Notice what they say to give you

the clues. Record your findings in Activity 2.

Old beliefs established in childhood are projected forward onto new and

current situations. The good news is that those beliefs can be changed and

turned around. It is just a question of reprogramming the subconscious

mind.

The subconscious mind does not evaluate things, it is non judgmental. This

means that it is unable to distinguish between the genuine and true

attitudes and those that are false. They are all are given the same

credence because the subconscious mind takes in everything it is given.

The human brain has a cluster of cells that act as a filter to perceptions. It

accepts information that is consistent with your beliefs and goals and that

fits your picture of our life. At the same, it filters out any information that

is irrelevant and that does not fit with your picture of life. The perceptions

that make up your picture of life are well worn and reinforced regularly.

What you expect to happen to you often does, like a self fulfilling prophecy.

You interpret life and what happens to you in the light of your beliefs. You

search around to find evidence to support your stance to the exclusion of

all alternative points of view.


If you have ever been in a conversation with someone who is determined to

be miserable and who rejects every bright idea, positive thought or slant on a

situation, you have been speaking with someone who is simply acting out their

belief system.

Someone who fundamentally believes that the world is a hostile place,

where everyone is 'out for what they can get', will be less likely to take

risks or open up to share their life, gifts and love with others. This person

will be uncharitable with his or her self and intolerant of others. Conversely,

the person who believes the world is an exciting place, full of abundant

opportunities, has a far more optimistic view of life. They are open to the

love and involvement of others and share their lives more freely. It is the

same world that each inhabits. You get the picture of the two very different

lives, based on two very different sets of strongly held beliefs.

The power of your beliefs.Here is a demonstration of the enormous power of the belief system. There

have been many studies carried out in educational circles, where teachers

have been led, falsely, to believe that one group of students was

significantly more able than the rest of the class. The results consistently

proved that both pupil and teacher expectations were raised and the

supposedly 'more able' students enjoyed increased self-esteem and

achieved higher grades than their equally able counterparts. The belief of

the teachers and the students in each study had turned the erroneous

'fact' into a reality.

If you hold destructive beliefs about yourself, it is imperative that you

change them and that you help your clients to do the same when they

express similar limitation belief patterns.

Some people are such negative thinkers that they are unable to see any


positive future possibilities and are totally lacking in confidence. Even if

they achieve some success they quickly negate the results to make them

consistent with their beliefs. They say, for example, 'It was a fluke' or, 'It

was a one off, I don’t normally do that'. In the same situation, a confident

person would say to themselves, 'I can do this consistently' or, 'I will do it

again in the future'. When faced with a poor performance or defeat, a

confident person says, 'This is a one off', 'That’s not like me', or, 'I will

perform better next time'. They set themselves up for success. However,

in the same situation the negative thinker will say, 'that’s typical', 'What

else can I expect?' or 'It’ll be the same again next time'. They set

themselves up for failure.

In the world of sport it is well known that the mind game is vitally important

for success. Often, two opponents are equally matched, in terms of skill

and experience. The factor that makes the difference is the mental attitude

of each player. Watch a sports person as they about to perform. Notice the

self talk they give to themselves. This mental training is just as important

as the physical training.

In May 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds.

Hundreds of runners had tried, unsuccessfully, before him to run a mile in

less than four minutes. The scientific and medical world had claimed that

it could not be done, It was said that the human heart, muscles and bone

would not be able to withstand the stress of such an effort. But it

happened and many other athletes have since run the mile in under four

minutes. What was the turning point? What was the deciding factor? How

did Bannister achieve the impossible? He made a conscious effort to

ignore the accepted belief and carefully prepared himself mentally to do it

that day. He was aware of the power of a positive mental attitude and the

dangers of falling prey to doubt or procrastination.

Once he had demonstrated that it was indeed possible, others began to


believe so that they matched or exceeded his performance

Tony Buzan is a leading expert in the field of discovering human potential.

He offers an excellent analogy of the way to make changes in thinking. He

asks us to think of the brain’s capacity as a huge neural jungle. A jungle

with billions and billions of potential connections and neural networks.

Imagine the first person who attempts to run through the jungle, it is thick

and they battle through. When the next person comes along in the same

area, they will see a slight path trodden by the first person. After a dozen

or so people have gone through, there is a clear, flattened pathway and

anyone coming through the jungle will automatically use that path rather

than go into the undergrowth. So the one single pathway gets ever easier

and an automatic choice.

Think of beliefs and habits in the same way. Once you learn to think and

respond in the same way, this way of behaving becomes increasingly

automatic.

As a life coach you must challenge a client’s limitingbeliefs.Many people are unaware that they hold beliefs about themselves and that

those beliefs have such a powerful influence on the quality of all aspects

of their lives.

As a life coach you need to be sensitive and aware of the beliefs that limit

and hold back. You must learn to recognise them in the client, identify the

language and behaviours associated with them and have the courage to

challenge the client in order to raise their awareness, to encourage them

to take responsibility for their own beliefs and to change for the better.

Some clients cannot understand why they are not achieving their goals. If


their aims and goals are incompatible with their underlying beliefs, there

will be conflict. Their subconscious mind strives to achieve the goal, but the

brain is using the belief reference system to ensure that it cannot succeed.

The beliefs have to change for the goal to be achieved.

An NLP technique that is often used to reveal core limiting beliefs is to ask

your client to complete six sentences, each beginning with, 'I must…'

You can then pose a question like, 'What would happen if you didn’t?' Your

client will be able to examine the consequences of various actions as they

become increasingly aware of the automatic responses that they give.

Try this out yourself. Turn to Activity 3. Don’t think too deeply about the

sentence completion. Fill the gaps with the first ideas that come to mind,

as those are the thoughts that are prevalent.

This small self test will help you appreciate how what your limiting beliefs

bear on what you think you cannot do.

Complete six sentences beginning with the words, 'I can’t…'

Turn to Activity 4. Again say the first thing that comes into your mind. Then

ask yourself the question. 'What stops me?'


The insights that you gain when using this activity with a client can be

translated into issues that can be dealt with in subsequent coaching

sessions.

What are the issues that have arisen for you as a result of completing the

activity? Perhaps they are areas that you would like to explore with your

own coach.

Some clients will need a lot of support to change their beliefs. You will need

to challenge, to encourage and to champion your client every step of the

way as they are guided to the place where they can achieve their full

potential. You will use a variety of techniques to raise your client’s

awareness. Through answering powerful and incisive questions, they will

be helped to 'see' the truth for the first time.

Once you have an inkling of your clients limiting beliefs, you can help them

to change them. This will come about by asking well-phrased questions that

raise awareness and open the realms of possibility to them.

If your client is unable to see a way forward or just cannot think of what to

do to progress towards achieving their goal, you can use an incisive

question. This question has two parts to it. The first part temporarily

suspends the limiting belief, which then allows the client, for a moment, to

be creative as they answer the second part. It frees the rational mind to

explore outside the boundaries it has imposed. This technique is very

successful as it unblocks a client’s mind and helps them dream in safety.

Many of the ideas generated in this way are the ones that the client

chooses to follow, once they have been explored fully. Questions like,

'What, if the you had the resources do it, would you do?', 'If you knew

that you could not fail, what would you do?' or, 'If you didn’t have to live

with the consequences, what would you do?' The rationale behind these


questions is to encourage clients to lift their minds above their beliefs for

a while and to get a glimpse of what might be. These questions are

discussed further in the module on Effective Questioning.

A helpful way to understand how thoughts, feelings and emotions affect

self belief, is the concept of a comfort zone. This is a psychological area

or zone, within which you feel comfortable and confident. This encourages

you stay well within it, after all, you are always right when you are there.

The trouble is, that being always right means that you do not learn. To learn

you must be prepared to work outside your comfort zone or, better still, to

constantly expand it.

Once you are taken beyond your comfort zone you can start to feel

uncomfortable. At the very extreme, you may even experience panic

attacks, palpitations, nausea, sweating, memory loss and lethargy. At a

less severe level, think of the 'butterflies in the tummy' that you

experience when you have to do something new for the very first time.

These psychological and physical experiences influence your performance.

As a life coach it is your role to help clients stretch their comfort zones in

order to move a step up in life and to expand their thoughts and beliefs.

You can help the client set goals and enable full association with them by

visualizing what will happen when the goals and the resultant benefits are

achieved. Initially, a client may be keen to take the first steps to goal

achievement but then, when they come up against the discomfort and

challenge of moving out of their comfort zone, they may procrastinate or

make excuses. This is where your input is vital to keep the client on track,

by questioning, encouraging, praising, challenging and championing to keep

the client’s vision burning bright.

There is a little mechanism in thinking that links an event to a response.

To take an example from the animal kingdom. If an antelope sees a lion


charging towards it, the response will be to run away as fast as possible

to escape. When such an event happens there is an immediate response.

If, for instance, you have a fear of heights, then whenever you find yourself

in that position, your subconscious kicks in. It sends a message to your

body which responds appropriately and you get sweaty palms, nausea and

dizziness.

However, one of the things that make us different from animals is choice.

We can choose our response to any given event. Few people make that

choice If something new comes along, it is easy to say, 'This doesn’t fit in

with my world', discard it and then carry on in the same way.

Understandable, but it removes the opportunity to learn.

Your choices are driven by values, habit, guilt, fear, what others think,

responsibilities, duty, need, conscience, the consequences and emotions.

You can justify almost any decision that you make to yourself, but you seek

to justify them to other people as well.

If you can choose how you respond to any event, then you can spend the

rest of your life doing exactly what it is that you want to do. This is the

ultimate freedom. But freedom carries a price. That price is responsibility

and responsibility is expressed in values like honesty and integrity.

Freedom of choice, unhampered by limiting beliefs, gives you total

responsibility for everything you do with honesty and integrity.

You can be wherever you want to be. If you are not where you want to be,

you can do something about it.

Your free will to choose means that you can spend the rest of your life doing

exactly what it is we want to do. So, to stay where you are and to keep

doing what you do, you must really want to be there and doing that. This is


important in coaching because, when your client is unhappy with where

they are [for example if they are in a job they hate or in an abusive

relationship] they will make excuses for where they are and for not making

any changes.

Simply ask, 'What’s in it for you? Why are you in this place?' If they say

they don’t know, then ask them again, 'What are you getting from being in

the situation? There must be some sort of pay off!' As a coach you will

challenge and persist for an answer. Deep down, your client knows the

reason that they are in the situation. You may uncover all sorts of beliefs,

for example, 'I do this because I want approval', 'I’m scared of failing in

another job' or even, 'The pay is good and I get a pension'. You can then

question around the area of values, beliefs, desires and choice.

Some people feel that they do not have any choices. The reality is that they

have lots of choices, if they want them. Author, Richard Carson, developed

the concept of 'The Gremlin' to describe the thoughts that encourage

people to maintain the status quo in our lives. It would appear that the

Gremlin wants to protect, but in fact it often prevents forward movement

towards true desires. Once you and your clients are aware of these thought

patterns, you can identify them, consider the options available and

consciously choose the one that will move ever nearer to your goal.

At a preliminary session, before you start coaching a client, explain how

you will work with them and how you will challenge their thinking and

perceptions, in order to help them move on. Build rapport with your client

and agree with them which are the best way to challenge them on these

issues. You both want your sessions to be as productive as possible.

The golden rule is to treat your clients, as they want to be treated. This

relationship has been termed ‘the designed alliance’.


Even when people know exactly where they are going and their lives are

fixed, they still need you as their coach. Lives that are fixed always create

a longing for something bigger and better. The desire for personal growth,

development and improvement will always motivate such individuals.

So far you have seen how a positive mental attitude is needed to overcome

limiting beliefs and keep going to achieve goals. You have recognised the

significant part that the subconscious mind plays in behaviour. You have

learned that it is possible to ‘reprogramme’ your thinking and automatic

response to situations. You are aware that you need to step outside and

expand your comfort zone.

Encouraging your clients.You must encourage clients to become positive thinkers.

Recall a time when you have had a problem or difficulty. You will have

experienced the situation where you thought and worried about a problem

all day long, your mind would not let it rest and it appeared to get more

terrible and frightening as the day wore on. The chances are that you got

the whole situation out of proportion!

Now, aware of your ability to consciously change your viewpoint and switch

into solution mode, you would become more proactive and start to feel

more in control. Your subconscious will start to look for solutions and your

attitude will change.

There will still be challenges in life, like bereavement, loss, illness and

disappointment. The key point is that, while you do not have overall control

over what happens to you and you cannot sanction how others behave, you

can have absolute control over your response.


Victor Frankel, is a wonderful example of this. A world famous psychiatrist,

he spent three years as a prisoner in Dachau and Auschwitz concentration

camps In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he describes the horrifying

events, the suffering and degradation that he and many others

experienced. Throughout the book, he highlights that those who survived

the horrors all had a strong sense of attitude. He writes, 'Everything can

be taken from a man except one thing: the last of human freedoms – to

choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s

own way'. In spite of their horrendous situation, they were still able to

maintain their inner dignity and a sense of who they were.

Your thoughts and speech reflect your attitude. The words that you use

indicate just how you think. If you want to change from negative to positive,

then start with your language. Just notice how many people respond to the

greeting, 'How are you?', with 'Not too bad'. 'Not' and 'bad' are words with

negative connotations. If you catch yourself saying, 'Not too bad', stop and

change your reply to 'Good', 'Great' or 'Fantastic'.

Consider the words you use carefully. Over the next few weeks become

aware of the words that you use regularly. Detect negative patterns and

consciously change them. Adopt positive language and it will soon become

a habit. Go to Activity 5. Change the negative phrases into positive. Check

out your own negative language, note it and reframe it into the positive.

Once you are aware of the power of language you will be able to radically

change your response and consequently your attitude. If you encourage

your clients to do the same you will greatly increase their chances of

success.

Affirmations.One of the most powerful self development techniques to reprogramme


thinking is the 'affirmation', a positive statement that you repeat to

yourself at various times of the day. It will help you develop your positive

self talk and can have a dramatic impact upon your behaviour and

achievements.

Affirmations are phrased in a special way. They are:-

"Positive - Stating precisely what you want rather than what you

don’t want.

"Personal - Describing a specific quality you want. Start your

affirmation with the words 'I' or 'my', for example, 'I am a

positive person, who sees the best in every situation'.

"Stated in the present tense. Write it as if you already have the

quality. For example 'I am always positive' rather than 'I will be

positive'.

And so to Activity 6. Write six affirmations you want for yourself and your

life. Read them aloud to yourself five times every morning and five times

every evening. As you say the affirmation, imagine what you would see,

hear and feel. Associate with them as much as you can.

When you feed your subconscious with positive thoughts and words you

build a positive mental attitude. This does not mean lying to yourself or

burying your head in the sand, neither does it mean that you will be

immune to the troublesome aspects of life. It does mean that you will be

able to cope with negative situations and use them as learning

experiences.

Your positive mental attitude.As a life coach, your own positive mental attitude (PMA) is not an option.

It is an essential quality. Many of your clients will, by definition, have some

negative issues for you to help them with. Unless you have a strong


positive outlook on life yourself you will be ill equipped to provide this help

and support.

Everyone, without exception, can develop a positive mental attitude. You

will work to raise your client’s awareness of their responses and reactions

and encourage them to take control of, and responsibility for, their future.

It is your job to move your client progressively towards the positive. There

is a substantial body of medical evidence to show that patients with a

strong positive mental attitude recover more quickly from surgery or

trauma.

It is essential that you are in a high PMA state when your clients call. They

will detect it in your tonality and intonation and they will pick up on it. You

need to be in control and it is part of your role to lift them out of their

negativity and to recognise the positive. Be aware that every encounter

produces a result and it is your responsibility to ensure that every result

has a positive spin. The easiest way to do this is to be genuinely aware of

others’ feelings and caring for their welfare.

Sincere congratulations for a clients' achievements will sow the seeds of

PMA by making them want to repeat the feel good pleasure that comes

from recognition of their success. You must guard against any client

becoming too dependent upon you, although it is inevitable that some

clients will see you as a role model, which is another good reason to

maintain a good positive mental attitude. See yourself as powerful and

impressive and that is what you will be. And that is how others will perceive

you.

Remember you can only have one thought at a time. You alone control that

thought. It can be either positive or negative and you decide which it is to

be. You also decide how long to hold on to it. Choose positive thought and

you will change your attitude to become a permanent Positive Mental


Attitude.

It is critical to know why your clients behave as they do and what you can

do help them. You need to understand what they are feeling and going

through, not to sympathise but to empathise. You do not need to feel it with

them but having a sound understanding does help. That is why it is

important to recognise some of the stumbling blocks that impede the

development of PMA.

Some clients may have what they consider to be good excuses for hanging

on to negative attitudes, although none of them are valid and when they

consider the implications of keeping them against the benefits of changing

them, there is no contest.

Some people seek absolute perfection. They see anything less than that

as failure and this can seriously erode any positive feelings. Encourage

these clients to aim for goals in easy bites, to celebrate success and to

view failure as an outcome that can be changed. Invite them to consider

that there is no true success or failure. There is simply an outcome which

they label as one or the other.

Unless goals are written down and reviewed regularly, the client is at risk

of losing momentum. As a new concept or challenge comes along, they will

switch all their energies and attention to that one and lose the direction

they were taking towards the earlier objective. This leads to the sense of

having 'Unfinished business'. This is no problem if the 'business' no longer

serves any useful purpose in their life. But, if it is essential to their growth

and development, they need to deal with it. The positive boost that occurs

on completion is very powerful.

PMA comes from allowing enough time for each activity or goal and

congratulating themselves when they complete ahead of time. It is


seriously eroded when they are always racing against the clock and missing

deadlines. Use your coaching to help them to set realistic timescales with

time to relax, time to enjoy the important things in life and time to recharge

their batteries. Life coaching has at its core, the need for a complete life

balance.

Worry and fear of success or failure are also big stumbling blocks. Some

clients will opt for flight rather than fight. Denying the reality of tasks or

situations that are seen as unpleasant will destroy their PMA. Tell them

firmly that these things will not disappear. The only way to deal with them

is to face up to them by devising a strategy to work on them. The act of

taking control and eventually resolving the issue builds and consolidates

PMA.

Another enemy of PMA is the attitude that retains old grievances or grudges.

These attitudes are extremely destructive and they harm the person that

holds them more than anyone else. Once the decision is made to let them

go, these clients enjoy the freedom and choice of replacing them with

constructive, healthy, positive attitudes.

Self pity and low self esteem are factors that inhibit PMA development. If

your client exhibits severe emotional difficulties, trauma or hurts that are

preventing a real move forward, it will be necessary to suggest a referral

to an appropriate counsellor or therapist.

Financial difficulty or debt is a common contributory factor to a poor mental

attitude. Not just because of the stress and worry that such lack can

cause, but also because the client may feel guilt at having failed to provide

for their family or to have lived up to their expectations. The client may need

to seek help from a suitably qualified professional financial adviser. As a

life coach it can be illegal for you to offer specific advice on investment and

savings matters. However, you can work very effectively with the client on


their attitudes to money, to examine how they arrived at that position and

to help them plan a way forward that avoids the situation occurring again.

What your client perceives as their needs (life support essentials) and

wants (desirable artifacts or gratification) will also have a huge bearing

upon their view of life. This has particular importance for them if they are

in the habit of comparing themselves to others. Their PMA is eroded if your

client is constantly bemoaning their lot that they are not one of the 'jet

set'. Help them to recognize true needs and eliminate wants that are

based on false values.

Encourage your clients to develop friendships with other positive people for

encouragement and support as they move towards achieving their goals.

These friends may not necessarily have enormous wealth but they will have

an optimism and joy for life that your client will find compelling and their

positive mental attitude will be infectious.

When your clients talk to you they may display many of these stumbling

blocks, each wrapped up in the language of excuse. Your coaching abilities

will help you see through the spoken word and to identify the underlying

issue that blocks, limits or restricts progress. It is only possible to resolve

an underlying issue once it has been identified. A stumbling block is only

an obstacle if it is hidden. When it is seen, it can be turned into a stepping

stone to progress.

A coach needs to have a positive mental attitude and encourage that in

their clients. Beliefs have an enormous bearing upon balance, progress

and happiness. It makes sense to adopt beliefs that are going to serve you

well.


Values.A value is defined as 'the moral principle or accepted standards of a person

or group'. The definition of moral is 'the distinction between good and bad

or right and wrong behaviour'.

So who makes those distinctions? You do. We do. Your clients do.

The values that you hold are good, they tell you about who you are and what

is important to you. Not all values are good. You may find a client whose

values are totally opposed to yours. If you cannot reconcile to that or

remain detached, then do not coach them. Is it is important to be true to

your own values and maintain your integrity.

The Goal Setting and Motivation module explores values and congruent

goals in depth. It is clear that, if the goals do not mirror the values, then

they will never be successfully achieved.

Values are also the client’s expression of himself or herself. Someone may

have creativity as a value that needs honouring, others may have integrity

and honesty, harmony or independence. The list belongs to the client.

Take a minute to list for yourself the values that you hold dear. What are

the values that you must honour in your life? Which are the most

important? Now turn to Activity 7.

Your values will govern everything you do and are a very useful guideline for

measuring your behaviour and choices. If you are tolerating unacceptable

behaviour and are keeping quiet about it, how does this measure up to your

values of honesty and respect?

It is important that you establish, with your client, the values that are

important to them. You will need to hold their values for them throughout


your coaching relationship, keep aware of the things that are important to

them and guide their choices.

Some clients may find it difficult to express their true values. They may

never have given themselves the space and time to reflect upon these

things before. You will need to establish a relationship where your client

feels comfortable to be himself or herself. Ask a question such as, 'Tell me

about a time when you felt most fulfilled' or, 'What was a moment that

touched you the most?' By listening carefully to their answers, you can

question further to elicit specific values. For example, if the client said, 'I

was most fulfilled when I collected my degree', you could ask, 'Am I right

in thinking that success or achievement are high on your list of values?' If

the client agrees, ask them to elaborate further upon their interpretation of

the word success or achievement.

If a client makes a negative statement or indicates something they did not

like or approve of, you can use the reverse idea. For example, if the client

got upset when someone was impatient or too fixed in their ideas, you

could check out if flexibility and tolerance were key values for them.

Devise a range of questions you could ask your client to allow you to

discover their specific values. Turn to Activity 8.

As you try out new questions, add the ones that are effective to your list.

These will form part of your coach’s ‘toolkit’.


The wheel of life.A well-known exercise, that is featured in a number of coaching textbooks,

is The Wheel of Life. It is used to help clients identify the areas of life that

are important to them and to evaluate how their current lives match up to

them.

Many coaches use it to elicit the values and important areas that the client

needs to focus on in their coaching sessions. Complete the exercise for

yourself now to understand how the process works.

"Draw a circle with eight equal segments (see Activity 9).

"Identify eight key areas of your life. The way to use this with a

client is to ask them to brainstorm a number of issues or key

areas in their life that would be important for them. Then ask

them to choose the top eight that they would like to focus on as

part of their coaching.

"Score those particular areas of your life. Where 10 is on the

outside of the circle and 1 is in the middle. Mark along each

radius or spoke of the wheel 10 equal divisions, from 1, in the

centre to 10 on the circumference (1 is where you are less

satisfied, and 10 is where you are totally satisfied). If you are

very satisfied with an aspect of your life it would be 10 and if you

are less satisfied it would be 1. So every area of your life is going

to be anywhere on that scale of 1-10. Draw a straight or curved

line on each segment, linked to the score you gave it, to make a

new perimeter of your circle. Identify where your life is out of

balance.

Here are some of the possible areas that people identify to work on. You

could choose from:-

"career/work.

"personal development and growth (whatever that might mean for

that individual).


"friends and family (or even divide into two separate areas).

"partner or significant other.

"financial.

"spiritual life.

"physical environment (which is around their location, where they

are living, how they are living).

"fun and recreation (this crops up almost as often as career).

"health and vitality (also crops up almost as often as career).

"emotional well being.

"social life.

Use these or choose your own list.

With a client you can ask if the new wheel is a surprise to them. Ask them

what they want to hold as a primary focus or which one of the segments

they would most like to focus on right now in this coaching session?

It is encouraging for the client to realise that they can be coached on all

eight segments but it is important for them to clarify which one they would

most like to focus on first. This helps the client prioritise and also to focus

positively on areas where they are already satisfied.

Ask the client to identify what is important to them in each section of the

wheel. Find out what they are looking for in each of these areas. This helps

your client to consider the things that really matter, the things that they

value, and to make them a real priority. Many clients will have lost sight of

the notion of a balanced life and this exercise will raise awareness very

quickly.

There are a number of adaptations of the ‘wheel’ exercise. It can be used

in business with aspects of management labelled in the segments and it

can be used to measure job performance or job satisfaction.


SummaryIn this module you have:-

"identified where your beliefs originate.

"discovered how positive beliefs help you move forward and

limiting beliefs hold you back.

"learned how the subconscious mind reinforces your belief

system.

"learned techniques to uncover, challenge and suspend limiting

beliefs.

"learned about comfort zones and how, when you to choose to

expand them, you learn and grow.

"recognised the importance of positive self talk and a positive

mental attitude.

"looked at the stumbling blocks to achieving a positive mental

attitude and ways to address them.

When you match up the things that you value in life with the goals that you

set for yourself, you will be motivated to act. Your values and beliefs give

you a sense of who you are and what you aspire to. Great coaches have

the privilege of making a real difference in the lives of their clients by

guiding them to recognise what is important and helping them realise their

innate strengths. Coaches help clients to identify what is preventing them

from achieving the life they desire and offers the necessary tools to make

lasting changes.


Activity 1

Examine the beliefs that you have about yourself.

Make two lists. In the first, list all the positive beliefs you have about

yourself, all the things that you are good at. In the second, list the all the

negative beliefs you have about yourself, the things you are not good at.

Negative beliefs about myself:-

Positive beliefs about myself:-


Look at the list of positive beliefs and spend a few moments on each one.

Remember the positive things that happened to lead you to hold those

beliefs. Write them down…

Now look at your list of negative beliefs.

Take the top three. The ones that really hold you back.

Ask yourself:-

1. Where did this belief come from?

2. Who gave me this belief?

3. How do I feel about the person that gave me this belief? Do I

respect them? Are/were they always right? What is their history?

4. What is this belief costing me on a daily basis?

5. What will holding this belief mean for me in the long term?

6. How will my life be different if I let go of this belief?


Now write an opposite belief to the one you hold. For example if your belief

is,

“I am too old to change careers to become a coach', you could

reframe your belief to be, 'This is the perfect age to consider a

change and I bring to my new coaching career my wealth of life

experience to date.”

Actively look for evidence to support your new belief. You will find it. Keep

a journal and record your success.

My first new belief is

My next new belief is

Define your new comfort zones and self talk and decide what action you

are going to take.

My new comfort zones are…

My new self talk is.

I am actively going to


Activity 2

Notice the beliefs that people have about themselves. Focus on three or

four people Listen to what they have to say and how they provide the

“evidence” to support their beliefs. Look for those that have limiting,

negative beliefs and those that have positive, optimistic beliefs.

Clues for the positive person.

What do they do?

What do they say?

Clues for the negative person.

What do they do?

What do they say?

Make a list of the empowering beliefs that people hold

Make a list of the disempowering beliefs that people hold


Activity 3This is an NLP technique used to reveal core limiting beliefs.

Complete six sentences that begin with the words I must…

Do not think too deeply about the sentence completion. Fill the gaps with

the first ideas that come to mind, as those are the thoughts that are

prevalent.

I must……………………………………………

I must……………………………………………

I must……………………………………………

I must……………………………………………

I must……………………………………………

I must……………………………………………

Now ask yourself 'What would happen if I didn’t?'

You will then be able to examine the consequences of various actions, as

you become aware of the automatic responses you give.


Activity 4

The next sentence completion will help you look at how your belief will have

a bearing on what you think you cannot do. Complete six sentences

beginning with the words, 'I can’t…'

Again say the first thing that comes into your mind.

I Can’t……………………………………………………

I Can’t……………………………………………………

I Can’t……………………………………………………

I Can’t……………………………………………………

I Can’t……………………………………………………

I Can’t……………………………………………………

Then ask yourself the question. 'What stops me?'


Activity 5

Change these negative phrases into positive.

Negative phrase Positive phrase

I’m feeling ill

I have got a problem

Everything is going wrong

I forget

I am slow


Activity 6

One of the most powerful techniques used in self development circles to

reprogramme our thinking is the affirmation.

The affirmation is a positive statement that you repeat to yourself at

various times of the day. It will help you develop your positive self talk and

can have a dramatic impact upon your behaviour and the things that you

achieve.

Write six affirmations you want for yourself and your life following the

special instructions in the main module text. Read them aloud to yourself

five times every morning and five times every evening. As you say each

affirmation, imagine what you would see, hear and feel.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________


Activity 7

Take some time to think about the values that you hold dear. What are the

values that you must honour in your life? Which are the most important?

List your top 10 values in priority order. You may group values that are linked,

together if they help describe your value more clearly e.g. freedom/independence

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________

Now give each of the values a score for 1-10, indicating the extent to which

you are honouring these values in your life now. Look at the ones that are

scoring less than 7 as these could be areas where you or your client needs

some coaching help to get back on track


Activity 8

Devise a range of questions that you could ask your client to elicit their

specific values. Think of 5 questions and try these out on your friends or

clients.

Which are the ones that are most productive?

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________


Activity 9

The Wheel of Life

"Draw a circle with 8 equal segments

"Identify 8 key areas of your life. (The way to use this with a client is to

ask them to brainstorm a number of issues or key areas in their life that

would be important for them and choose the 8 most important.)

"Now score those particular areas of your life. Where 10 is on the outside

of the circle and 1 is in the middle. Mark along each radius or spoke of

the wheel 10 equal divisions, from 1, in the centre to 10 on the

circumference (1 is where you are less satisfied, and 10 is where you

are totally satisfied. If you are very satisfied with an aspect of your life it

would be 10 and if you are less satisfied it would be 1. So every area of

your life is going to be anywhere on that scale of 1-10. These are some

of the possible areas that people identify to work on. You could choose

from:

"career/work.

"personal development and growth (whatever that might mean for

that individual).

"friends and family (or even divide into two separate areas).

"partner or significant other.

"financial.

"spiritual life.

"physical environment (which is around their location, where they

are living, how they are living).

"fun and recreation (this crops up almost as often as career).

"health and vitality (also crops up almost as often as career).

"emotional well being.

"social life.


Use these or choose your own list.

Suggestions of questions to ask a client.

"What do you want to hold as a primary focus?

"Which one of these segments would you most like to focus on

right now in this coaching session?

Highlight answer. (It’s encouraging the client to realise that they could

have all 8 segments to be coached on but which 1 would they most like to

focus on right now). This helps the client prioritise and focus on where they

are already satisfied in some aspect of their life.

"Ask the client to identify what is important to them in each

section of the wheel.

"Also use this in business with some management segments or

job performance.


Activity 10

It is important to consider your beliefs as a coach in relation to your own

capabilities and those of the clients you work with.

What do you believe is your role as a coach?

What do you believe are the strengths you have as a coach?

What do you believe are the weaknesses you have as a coach?

What beliefs do you hold about the resourcefulness of your clients?

Are there any beliefs that limit you or your clients?

How are you going to change them?


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 7 - CHALLENGING LIMITING BELIEFS &

UNDERSTANDING VALUES








Week 8

HOW TO SET GOALS& MOTIVATE OTHERS



Version 2011/1

Preview.This module covers two key elements that make an enormous contribution

to the success of an individual. These are the ability to set goals and the

motivation to do what is necessary to achieve them.

In the first part you will learn about the importance of goal setting and the

key principles that underpin the process. You will set goals of your own and

explore ways to enable your clients to set exciting, relevant and challenging

goals for themselves.

The dictionary defines a goal as: the aim or object towards which an

endeavour is directed, and the terminal point of a journey or race. When

you set goals you have clear aims and objectives towards which to channel

your effort and energy. The journey and race is the journey of life. Your

goals are positive statements of intent, correctly formed, made with

absolute commitment and followed through with daily action.

The importance of goals.A famous study of Yale University graduates found that back in 1953, just

3% of the graduating class had written down a set of goals for their lives.

20 years later a survey of the same group revealed that the 'goal setting'

students were financially worth more than the other 97% put together. This

3% also had better relationships and enjoyed better health. It was not

parental wealth, degree subjects taken, career selected, ethnic or gender

base or any of the other obvious factors that made the difference. The

factor that linked all these students was that they had set clear goals. A

real testimony to the power of goal setting. Even so, the

How to set Goals and Motivate Others Page 313

Week 8HOW TO SET GOALS & MOTIVATE OTHERS

majority of people spend more time planning their annual holiday than they

do planning their lives. It is estimated that only 3% of the population has

an organised goal or life plan.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey says,

'To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding

of your destination. It means to know where you are going so that you

better understand where you are now, and so that the steps you take are

always in the right direction.'

Without goals you are drifting and, when you drift you are not in control. If

you are not in control, then someone else is. You have relinquished your

basic right to shape your own future. In doing this you also surrender your

freedom of action which restricts your choices and can lead to frustration,

anxiety, fear and stress.

As a life coach you have the privilege of working with clients to help them

take control of their future and set positive, relevant and empowering goals

that will improve the quality of their lives for ever. They will be able to use

and develop the gifts, skills and talents that they possess, to be creative

and fulfilled.

So now comes the crunch. Are you in the habit of setting goals for yourself?

Do you have a life plan? The fact that you are working on this course

suggests that you probably do. Congratulations.

Now for some deeper questions. How committed are you to all your goals?

Do you work towards them constantly? Do you remember some of them for

a while and then gradually forget them altogether? Do you find your goals

hard to achieve and get despondent - or are you already a high achieving

'goal getter'?


However you answered, one thing is important to you all: as a coach you

must have your own personal goals if you are to move forward in your own

life and therefore understand, inspire and motivate others to do the same.

The following goal setting process is appropriate for everyone, from the

man in the street, who wants to take his life to the next level, to the serious

achiever who wants the world but doesn’t quite know how to get it.

Many people have not got a clue about what they really want. If you ask

them what they want in their lives or what they want at work, they will very

often tell you the ideas and the things they do not want. The problem is that

you get what you focus on. The subconscious mind will work to achieve the

things that you think about most of the time, whether you want them or not.

Take the analogy of a very young child playing in the kitchen. You say, 'Don’t

go into the cupboard'. They don’t discriminate. They pick up on the words,

'go into the cupboard' and before you know it, the entire contents of the

cupboard are strewn across the kitchen floor. The power of the

subconscious has a tremendous effect on the achievement of your goals.

Turn to Activity 1 to explore this concept further.

If you have already set goals for yourself, you will find the following process

beneficial for reviewing your own goals and helping your clients set theirs.

See Activity 2.

First Stage.The first stage of the process is to gather. Write down on paper everything

that you want to be, everything you want to have and everything you want

to do. Write down all the concepts and ideas that you want to have, the

person that you want to be, the characteristics that you want to have, the

things that you want to own, where you want to be – EVERYTHING.


Let your imagination run wild. Get yourself plenty of paper and start writing

and do not stop until you have run out of ideas.

Once your list is written, allow your mind to work on it over the next day.

You will have opened the floodgates of your subconscious mind which will

continue to add to the list - so keep it to hand at all times. When you think

of another idea, add it to the list. Include every idea you may have

discussed with others.

After 24 hours, review your list and fill in anything else that has come into

your mind and that you have not yet recorded. After that time you will have

a fairly full list of things that you want.

Second Stage.The second stage is to start reducing the items on your list. This process

will eventually give you a list of the things that are most important to you

and that are in alignment with your values and beliefs.

For each item on the list, ask yourself the following questions:-

"Why do I want to do this?

"Why do I want to own this?

"Why would I want to be this kind of person?

Write each answer in one positive sentence.

As you go through the list, cross out anything where you cannot answer, 'I

want this because'.

Do not destroy it completely because it may mean that you may be able to

answer it later.


You now should have narrowed down your list a little bit.

Keep the goals that you can answer ‘why’ to, on a single list. This is the

list you are going to work on.

Check each goal again. You should now have a list of goals that you want

to achieve. Make sure that have answered 'why you want this thing' for

every goal on the list. Explain why it is a must for you. If you have not done

it yet, do it now. It will make a real difference when examining your goals.

Third Stage.You are going to look at the different key areas of your life, using the

categories in the 'Wheel of Life' exercise that is used in the module on

Beliefs and Values. The areas are:-

"Family/friends (this could be 2 different areas).

"Partner/significant other person.

"Career/work.

"Financial.

"Health and vitality.

"Emotional well being.

"Social life.

"Fun and recreation.

"Physical environment (where you are living , how you are living,

your surroundings).

"Spiritual life.

At this point you may add, change or delete some 'areas'. Include all the areas

of life that are important to you. Personal growth and contribution are two

other areas that coaches consider important. How you are growing as a

person and, what you are able to contribute back as a coach will be vitally

important to you. At this stage you need to consider what success in every


one of these areas of life means to you.

Fourth StageNow you are going to see how the goals you have listed match up to these

important areas in your life.

Just ask yourself a simple question. If I get this thing, if I become this

person, will I be happier? Will it bring me peace? Is it going to improve my

health? Is it going to make me richer? Is it going to improve my financial

situation, put more money in the bank? Will being this person, having this

thing, doing this thing improve my environment? Will it give me better family

relationships? Will it improve my social life? How is it going to impact upon

my life? Measure it up against each one of those areas of your life that you

have deemed as important.

Every time that you can answer, 'Yes, this goal will improve this area of my

life', give it a mark. It will enable you to see what is really important in your

life.

Take each and every goal on your list and subject it to close scrutiny. As a

coach you will get your clients to do the same. Ask yourself the questions

in the defined six or ten areas of your life. Will achieving the goals enhance

your life in each of those areas? Take the time to do it. Reflect upon the

things that are important to you.

If you invest a week, including time to think, assimilate and get the best

out of this process it will have enormous benefits. Total up the marks for

each goal now.

Which goals scored highly and which achieved a low score? Did you have any

surprises? Some may have got full marks, others very few or none at all. As a


coach you may invest several weeks with your client in bringing them through

this process.

Fifth Stage.Now is the time to evaluate further.

People are very good at justifying and will make up all sorts of reasons why

something is absolutely essential. Set these two questions up in advance.

"If you choose this thing - Is it right and fair to everybody in your

sphere of influence and concern?

"Will it take you closer to your overall objective? This is a crucial

questions to ask yourself.

Encourage your clients to pose that question to themselves. Beware of

making the question sound judgmental. That is not the intention of asking

it. The purpose is to filter out the goals which ultimately will not serve you

and your life, leaving you to concentrate solely on the ones that do.

Sixth Stage.Select your top 10 goals. Look at what kind of goals they are. They will

divide into 4 types.

First is the ongoing goal. This is something that you choose to do every day.

For example your goal may be to devote a certain number of hours per day

to reading or to practising the piano.

If to be 'healthy' is your goal, this will also need daily input. Be specific

about your goals. Within this 'being healthy goal' you could include, having

a daily 'workout', eating healthy foods, drinking two litres of water and

having a time of prayer or meditation. It is entirely up to you to decide how


you will achieve your goal on a daily basis.

Second is the short-term goal. These are goals that can be achieved within

a week to a month. An example of a short-term goal would be to clear the

clutter from your office or to contact your old friends.

Third are medium-term goals, which take between a month to year to

achieve, such as reaching your target weight or sorting out your finances.

Finally you will have long-term goals which can take a year or more to

complete. For example a change in career or location.

Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate

what they can do in a decade.

All goals need to be set within a realistic timescale for achievement.

Now identify your goals as ongoing, short, medium or long term.

Seventh Stage.Take each one of the original sentences attached to your goal and expand

them. Elaborate, in more detail why you want to reach the goal. Get fully

associated with each goal. Explain to yourself; sell yourself your dream in

the first person. Do that now. It might take up to a week for you to have a

story for each goal but it is a powerful process to complete.

When you do this with a client, do not expect them to come back with

results sooner than a week later.

90% of success in achieving your goals is all about the why. 10% is the how.

People fail to achieve their goals because they have not fully explored the


questions, 'Why do I want this? What will it mean to me? What will the

benefits be? They have not become fully associated and immersed in their

goal.

Now you have created for yourself the most ‘awesome’ list of reasons why

you must have, do or become the things on your list. You have got to be

before you can do. You have got to do before you can have. Now you know

why you want these things you can go to the next stage.

Eighth Stage.Take each of your top 10 goals in turn and create a ‘to do’ list. This list will

never get finished because, as soon as you take things off, more go back

on. They are generally about activity, they are very seldom about

achievement. For each goal, get fully associated with the 'why' again and

start to write down all of the actions that you would be a) prepared to take

and, b) must take, to achieve that goal. This is a ‘green light’ thinking

session. Don’t start judging whether you will or will not at this stage. Just

write everything down. You’ll find one thing triggers another and you will

have a long list.

This stage can be very empowering. Certainly, some of your clients will be

as focused as they have ever been in their lives.

Ninth Stage.List all of the people you might need to get in touch with for help and

advice, the people you need to work with, the skills you might need to

develop, what you need to learn, what you need to understand.

Do this for each individual goal and the points of action. Start this now. It

might take another 24 hours.


When all nine stages are completed you will have an almost complete

picture and a reasonably complete list of goals that are going to make up

your next 30 days, 30 months, and 30 years.

Finally - the rocking chair test.

This brings it all together and starts to make it whole.

Close your eyes, wander out into the future and sit down in your rocking

chair at whatever age this new, healthy, hard working, switched-on, happy,

motivated, stress free, family orientated person that you’ve become, or

want to become, is likely to be.

Whether you are 95, 102 or 120, whatever the age is for you, sit, gently

rocking backwards and forwards and go back over your life. Tell yourself

what has and is still happening. Write down all the amazing things you did,

became and things you managed to accumulate in your life that were

important to you. Write it as though it has happened or is real right now.

The complete story of your life. This should take several pages to describe

the awesome life you have led and the amazing things you have done, the

fantastic places you have been, the people you have touched and the

changes you have made in your own life. Do it now. Take as long as you

need before continuing.

A goal is a dream with a date.You now have a complete picture of how you want your life to be. You have

been away and designed an amazing life. You can now put a time on to

each one of those goals. Ongoing ones are obvious because, they are

frequency related. All the other things you can now be assigned a time

because you have the believability that you can now achieve things by a

certain time, for a certain time. Set your goals within a specific timeframe.


Give each one a start and finish date.

Your goal will remain a dream unless powerful purposes combine with

action planning to arrive at a pre-determined place in time. You can arrive

there provided that you have got your ‘why’ absolutely clearly focused in

your mind, you have taken a complete inventory of the actions you are

prepared to take and you have put a time phase on it.

You can choose to lead your coaching clients through this full process. If a

client really does not have any idea of where they are going or what they

want out of life, this is a good place to start. It also works with those who

have not been able to achieve goals in the past.

You can remember the process by using the acronym GREAT. Just think of

GREAT goals.

G is for gather. Collect together all your ideas.

R is for review. Ask why these goals are important?

E is evaluate. Measure your goal against the criteria of your

values.

A is for action. What are you willing to do? When will you do it?

T is for timed. Set specific dates for the action.

Your clients certainly need to set goals. It is true that the credible coaches

'walk their talk'. Many books have been written on goal setting and each

author has their own 'golden formula'. Read all you can about the different

approaches and select the one that is right for you and your client.


Here is a reminder of the guiding principles that underpin the goal setting

process…

Goals set must be congruent with your values.

It is crucial that the goals match with your clients’ values. If they do not

they will not be achieved or they will not serve their overall objectives.

Goals must be written down.

A goal that is not written down is a vague notion, a fantasy or dream. It will

soon disappear. The act of writing down your goals will engrave them in your

subconscious. It makes them a reality, something you can see and touch.

Some people prefer to capture their goals in a drawing. Others collect

cuttings or pictures that relate to their goals. You need to have your goals

in the forefront of your mind. Your subconscious will work on achieving the

goals that you set.

It is a good idea to write a summary of your goals on a card that you carry

with you at all times. This will make it easy for your next vital step of

reviewing them. A goal that is written stands some chance of achievement.

This chance can be increased to a certainty when your written goals are

reviewed regularly.

Goals must be reviewed regularly.

Reviewing means reading your card each morning and each evening without

fail. If you do something in the same way every day it will soon become a

habit. Take a minute or so over each goal. See it in your mind. Know what

will be happening to show you have achieved it. Know that everything you

say, think and do is moving you nearer to your goal.

Once a week return to your original goal list, the one you used to create the

card. After a few weeks you may need to update it. Sometimes priorities

and situations change. When a goal is achieved, celebrate and


congratulate yourself. Then, update it with a new goal. In this way you will

keep moving forward.

As a coach you will help your client set long, medium and short-term goals.

Goals must be specific.

You need to be really skilful at questioning your client in order to elicit a

goal. A client may need help in bringing clarity to their goal. They should be

able to describe each goal in one sentence that is clear and specific. 'I

want to see the world', is too vague. It must be more concrete, such as 'I

want to travel to three different European cities within this year'.

Goals must be framed in the positive.

Your client may be phrasing their goal in negative terms. For example, 'I

want to give up smoking' or, 'I want to lose weight' or, 'I want to stop being

shy'. Reframe these goals to be positive.

Possible 'reframes' could be…

I want to enjoy the health and freedom of being a non-smoker.

My goal is to reach my target weight of 140lbs by Christmas.

I want to speak to people in a relaxed and confident way.

Although the subconscious is amazingly powerful, it is unable to distinguish

between the truth and a lie or between positive and negative. It simply

accepts whatever you put into it and moves you towards achievement.

You can take it one stage further and phrase your goals in the present

tense. Use phrases that say 'I am' instead of 'I will'. An example would be,

'I am getting closer to my target weight every day' or, 'I am enjoying the

health and freedom of a non-smoker'. Your logical, conscious mind will

have trouble with this idea but your subconscious mind will not have a

problem. Remember, your goals are directed at your subconscious. There


is a useful catch-all phrase, 'Every day and in every way, I am moving closer

to my goals'.


Goals must be captured in the imagination.

Encourage your client to imagine achieving their goal. Ask them, 'What do

you see?' 'What can you hear?' 'What are people saying?' 'What are you

doing?' 'What are other people doing?' This process motivates the client

by making the goal personal and tangible.

Goals must be measurable.

You need to lead your client to define how they will know when they have

achieved the goal. They must establish a way of measuring the outcome.

Financial or weight loss goals are pretty straightforward as they can be

quantified in figures. When goals involve personal relationships or personal

development, the measures are less clear. Even if the only measure the

client can put against the goal is that they will 'feel better', that is better

than no measure at all.

To set a goal without at least one measure of its achievement is like

planning a journey without a destination. You must determine a means of

recognising when you get there. Sir John Whitmore makes a clear

distinction between end goals and performance goals.

The end goal is focused on the final objective. An end goal could be to 'be

promoted to sales manager' or, to 'be offered the lead in a Broadway play'.

In some end goals, the final outcomes are not absolutely within your control

as other factors come into play - for example the performance of your

competitors.

The per formance goal, on the other hand, provides an identified

performance level that will give you the best chance of achieving the end

goal.

Goals must be challenging.

You should encourage your client to set challenging goals. If a goal is too


easy it is not a real goal. Your client will become disinterested and bored.

If your client dares to dream and dreams big, they can turn those dreams

into ambitions and those ambitions into goals. A bored unchallenged client

is an unhappy one.

Goals must be achievable.

If a client who smokes 40 cigarettes a day and is overweight sets a goal

to be the next 100m Olympic Gold medal winner, you will need to carefully

question the client to set a more realistic goal!

Goals must be set within a timeframe.

Place all goals within a timescale. Attach a start and finish time. Attach

times to each of the action steps you plan. This will aid the process of

keeping on track and keep the mind focused.

Goals must be set in all areas of life.

It is important to gain and maintain a balance in life. If you set a goal to be

a multimillionaire and neglect your family relationships and health, you can

expect that these areas will be in tatters while you bank your loot.

Goals must be legal and ethical.

Goals should be for your own good and the good of others, within the

boundaries of the law and ethical standards. If your client is setting goals

that are illegal or immoral or if their goals do not fit within your own ethical

standards, then do not coach them.

There are many acronyms to help you in the goal setting process. The ones

that follow will help you to remember the important elements as you work

with your clients.

Goals should be…

SMART


"Specific

"Measurable

"Agreed

"Realistic

"Time phased.

Goals should be…

PURE

"Positively stated

"Understood

"Relevant

"Ethical.

Goals should be…

CLEAR

"Challenging

"Legal

"Environmentally sound

"Appropriate

"Recorded.

Review what you have learned so far:-

"You have learned a detailed goal setting process that is linked to

core values.

"You have set your own exciting goals for your life ahead.

"You have learned why the goal setting process is so important for success.

"You have learned about the power of the subconscious mind and

its importance in goal achievement.

"You have identified what elements must be present for a goal to

be effective.

Turn to Activity 4.


In your coaching sessions you will work though the goal setting and action

planning process and the GROW model provides a basic structure to help

you do it.

The GROW model is discussed in more detail in the module called ‘The

Coaching Model of Achievement’. In brief, it suggests the following steps

to consider once an objective has been defined.

G Goal: The client sets a goal

R Reality: You explore the reality around the situation. What is

happening? What has happened so far?

O Options: What are the options available to move you forward

W What are you going to do?

When you work with a client in a coaching session, it is important to

establish a goal for the session early on.

You help your client to set their goal before you explore their current

situation. This focuses them upon what they want to achieve first - rather

than thinking of the possible difficulties that may prevent them from setting

a challenging goal. Remember all the characteristics of an effective goal as

you work with your client.

The final part of the process is the 'nail down', when you check out, with

your client their level of commitment, enthusiasm and intention to carry out

the agreed actions. This is an important part of the process. Remember if

the client gives a level of 7 or below out of 10, it is unlikely that they will

carry out the action. As their coach you need to see how these levels can

be improved.

Keep your client motivated and on track to achieve their goals.


Motivation.Motivation is the incentive to get things done. Motivation is about drawing

out what is already inside. It is the key to using the abilities, knowledge and

talents that you have, in order to reach worthwhile objectives - your goals.

Sometimes a bit of a push is needed. You may have been in the situation

where you are asked to go out and you cannot really be bothered. Once you

go, you have a good time. You can really do some important, powerful and

motivational things if you are given a bit of a push.

Pain and pleasure motivators.The job of a coach is to push, to challenge and to motivate clients so that

they can gain the experience of feeling ‘Wow that was good' or, 'It was

excellent' or, 'I had an outstanding time’. This happens through your effort,

your encouragement, and through your ability to sell your client on their own

ideas.

If someone gives you advice or information that you feel is important to

you, that will measurably change your life, that will correct some area that

is going wrong, or further enhance an area that is going right - you will take

action on it.

But some people do not. Many who have heard a speaker, listened to a

tape, read a book, or listened to advice find that the ideas and good

intentions rapidly disappear. They may tell one person in their first flush of

enthusiasm, but several days later they are not taking any action on it at

all.

This happens because their situation was not uncomfortable or painful

enough to spur them into action and sustain their initial enthusiasm.


Stephen Covey says that satisfied needs do not motivate. It is only the

unfulfilled needs that do so.

Your most difficult times can be the powerful motivating catalyst that kick-

starts your action. You are motivated when you respond to the situation by

being positive rather than reacting, which is negative.

So, how do you get people into action? How do you motivate the client who

has set all these great goals but is consistently failing to follow through?

By using the power of discomfort or pain. Pleasure and pain are equally

powerful forces that can drive and motivate.

One technique you may use is the positive and negative rocking chair test.

Be very careful. You need to have a good relationship with your client and

well developed rapport skills to do this.

Some discomfort has to be created and associated with the things that are

not wanted in life. You need to be very gentle and have your client’s

permission to do this. If people have set positive, motivational, switched

on goals then there should only be an up side. The downside has got to be

what happens if they do not do them. What happens if, despite setting their

goals, they can’t get star ted?

What happens if they don’t follow through? What happens if they don’t take

action?

For a lot of people – nothing will happen because they simply do not know

what they have missed. To achieve their goal, to be what they wanted to be,

to do what they wanted to do, to have all the things in their life that they

wanted, to have this real pleasure of getting all of those things was not real

enough. They had not truly associated themselves with it.

Generally, if there was no pain or discomfort it was not important enough.


If it was not a goal that would get them away from a place where they did

not want to be, to a place where they did want to be - there was no real

gain involved. There was no difficulty associated with not achieving the

goal. So no action was taken.

Creating motivational discomfort.So how do you associate a high enough level of discomfort to overcome

this inactivity and reluctance to act? It has to be about encouraging them

to look into the future. It is about helping them paint a picture so dire, so

dismal, so bleak that it forces them into action.

Take five-year blocks in the future help them paint the bleakest scenarios

that can be imagined if they do not achieve their goals. Then, visualise the

same periods as good as they could possibly be, in the important areas

that goals have been set. Let them see how life is being led to the full. Get

them to decide which path is the one that they want. Goal setting gives a

person choice. Either they want to lead a life of fulfilment or one filled with

the misery of regret. Regret weighs tons and commitment weighs ounces.

When you create massive amounts of discomfort and challenge, it is

necessary to create massive amounts of pleasure to balance.

Make sure that they understand fully what the total picture looks like for

not achieving each goal. Determine what changes, as they get to each new

five-year segment? Get them to verbalise what’s different about their life.

Remember, it is important to run that process through for the negative and

then for the positive and for each of the goals they have set themselves.

You must always end on the positive, renewing their hope, commitment and

enthusiasm.

Try this activity on yourself first. It will give you a better idea of how to


conduct the process if you need to use it with your clients. By associating

pain and pleasure and using the rocking chair test for each of your own 10

goals, you will gain a better understanding. Take a good look at each goal,

associate with what it feels like and do the pain part first.

As you go out into the future, create enough awareness to show a ‘hell if

you don’t' scenario. You could find it is powerful enough to motivate you to

take a different course of action. Do not do it so well that you create

massive stress in yourself or your client. You just need enough to get you

into action.

Then complete the process by going out into your positive goal achieved

future.

You can do this process with your top 10 goals individually or group them

all together and do it in one big process.

When you do this for other people, it is vitally important that you gain their

permission and that you fully explain what you are going to do. Your client

needs to be emotionally stable to use this process. You are a coach, not

a therapist!

Experiment with different 'challenging' techniques.

You need to gain skills in both doing and undoing. If you do something that

needs you to change the client’s state massively, you need to put in all

sorts of bail out anchors that you can use to be able to re-establish rapport

and to bring their equilibrium back to a level that you can manage.

A bail out anchor is something that you can say, or something you have pre-

agreed you can say or do, that will immediately stop their thought

processes from going down a certain path and take them down a totally


different path.

It is getting them associated with a feeling of pleasure, a feeling of power,

a feeling of ‘unstoppability’, any positive state of mind that you can 'tap

into' by asking a question. You may have done this through your rapport

skills, by asking stories about some of the things they did that they are

particularly proud of.

In that process, you may have discovered a particular strength that lies

within that person and that you are able to remind them of.

Relieve the pressure.If you are taking someone to a position of discomfort and you need to undo

that, you have got to change his or her state massively. You need to make

sure that you have got a state that you can take them to in a very short

space of time with a very few words. That is powerful. That gives them lots

of resources that they have available to them immediately to break the

state of pain. Make sure that you always have a method, and an agreement

from them to be able to complete the process and take them through the

pleasure part.

Turn to Activity 5. Write down the five challenging questions that you could

ask in this situation.

Once you have got someone to the point where they believe they can do it,

then something is possible. If they believe it is impossible, they will not

take action towards it.

You can ask, 'How serious are you about your future?' or 'What value do

you place upon yourself?' Sometimes, straightforward confrontation such

as – 'Well, let’s not bother then, we are totally wasting each other’s time'


– immediately unlocks them and brings the response, ‘Well I probably could

if you gave me some help.’

You must begin with gentle questioning in terms of developing the

discomfort and challenge. As soon as you have got their belief that they

could change, you’ve got to ask them what would happen if they don’t.

Keep digging. Keep looking for the personal areas, for the motivational

areas, for the different things that could happen or occur in their life that

are important to them, but are not going to happen if they do not take this

action. You need to be able to listen carefully and make sure you get the

feedback if you are coaching one to one. This is much easier to do if you

are coaching face to face. Over the telephone you need to develop excellent

rapport skills to do this.

When you ask a question give them time to process but make sure that

they are talking to you. If they have gone very quiet you have probably

already hit the right button. The thing to do then is to use some bail out

questions eg ‘What strengths have you got now that are going to help you

in the future?’ 'Remember what you did in x situation'. This immediately

starts to focus them on strength centres and strengths within themselves.

Then literally tell them, ‘Stand up, get a glass of water and come back and

sit down with me.’ Make sure you get them to move, change their

physiology, get them breathing. Then sit them down and take them out into

the future. Use the same process with very gentle questioning. ‘What’s

going to happen if you are able to do this?’ ‘What’s going to be the best

thing that’s going to happen?’ ‘Who are you going to be able to affect if you

are able to do this?’ ‘How’s your life improved as a result of this?’ ‘What’s

it going to look like 5 years down the road?’ You really do build on the

pleasure part.


So, when you are coaching build up slowly, make sure you take your time,

make sure you have got good rapport with your client. Practice with people

who will allow you to do this, practice in your everyday conversations.

Remember you want to challenge your client not hurt them. You are being

'tough' not 'rough'.

It is important to work on your own motivational state. If you have got a

favourite piece of music, that is 'state inducing', use it. Music is a powerful

motivational medium. It can inspire, cheer, calm and soothe.

Make sure when you are working on your pleasure or power state, when you

are going out into your future with the total belief you are going to be able

to achieve everything you want, that you have music playing. This will

become an anchor for you that you can continually associate with, which

will bring back these positive pictures of your future. That is sometimes all

that is necessary, in difficult times, to give you the motivation you need to

keep going that extra mile.

Stick with the pain / pleasure / power programme of developing

motivational goals to force you into action. It will stop you doing the things

you shouldn’t and enable you to develop the energy and power to do the

things you should.

Get into the habit of using motivational books and tapes, select powerful

pieces of prose and music. Mix with motivating and positive people.

Encourage your client to find motivational books, to listen to inspirational

speakers and trainers, and to get access to information that continues to

pour the 'good stuff' into their minds. When you expect that something

good is going to happen, you get energised and excited. When you fear loss

or something bad, you lose that energy and negative results follow. You

constantly need motivation in both good and bad times. When you read and


listen to motivational material you feed your mind, which is as important as

feeding our bodies. Make motivation a habit.

Failure can be a motivator. If you have a client in this situation you need

to encourage them to shake off their fear and move on. We learn by trying

things out, by making mistakes, by learning from them and by trying

something new. The most successful people in life are the ones who have

learned from their mistakes and transformed their failures into new

opportunities for growth. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar says, 'Failure is

an event, never a person'.

American psychologist, Abraham Maslow developed a structure, a

hierarchy of human needs, which are said to motivate people into action.

As each need is met, you look to satisfy the next. The basic need is for food

and water. The second is for shelter and safely. The third is to belong to a

group or community. The fourth is to receive the esteem of others. The fifth

is to develop self-esteem. The final stage is to be what Maslow calls a self-

actualiser. These people are concerned that their lives have meaning, value

and purpose. They want to make a real contribution to others. As a coach

it is important to be familiar with these needs and recognise them in your

clients. They are key motivators and a good coach is the catalyst that helps

others achieve their full potential.

The most common excuse for not taking time to get motivated is lack of

time! But, we have as much energy as we need to do the things we want

to do. The problem is, we want to do all the wrong things. A lot of the time,

the things we want to do will not pass these two questions. 'Is it fair to

everybody that is involved in this process?' 'Will it take me closer to my

major objective in life?'

Great motivational speakers can literally create the energy to become

enthusiastic and achieve. Scientific research has proved that an


inspirational message creates an excitement that activates the brain, the

levels of serotonin, the 'feel good' chemical, are increased, along with the

endorphin, dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Constant reinforcement

of these motivational messages will feed you. You will achieve all that you

deserve, all your goals and, just as importantly, you will help your clients

to do the same.

Summary"Continual motivation is what is needed to help us to achieve our

goals.

"You need to feed yourself with motivational materials to feed your

mind with positive messages.

"Questions use with clients to improve motivation.

"That failure can lead to motivation.

"A process to use with clients when they are consistently failing

to follow through on agreed goals.

"Using music and prose or poetry can motivate us and provide us

with powerful anchors.

"Listening to motivational speakers and tapes can increase our

energy.

"The need to challenge clients by asking about the consequences

of not following through with their goals. A picture of a bleak

future is often what is needed to motivate.

"The need to remind clients of the strengths they already have and

how they can use them to good effect in other situations.


Activity 1

Here is a game that you and others can play over the next few weeks. Set

yourself some observation goals, for example, notice the red cars on your

journey home; notice the number of 'sales' on TV, in the newspapers or in

the shops on a particular day; notice the people wearing aftershave or

perfume. Choose any potential subject. One of the key issues here is to

note the effect that setting these goals has upon your perception.

Ask a person who has been noticing red cars, how many blue cars there

were on the road. What does this exercise teach you?


Activity 2

This is the process to help you set short, medium and long term goals.

Devote ample 'thinking time' to each stage.

Step 1 – Write down all the things you want to do, be or have.

Step 2 – Write in one brief sentence why you want to be, do or have each

item on your list. If you can’t do this with any of them, then cross them

off.

Step 3 – Decide the most important areas of your life - for example…

"Family/friends (this could be 2 different areas).

"Partner/significant other person.

"Career/work.

"Financial.

"Health and vitality.

"Emotional well being.

"Social life.

"Fun and recreation.

"Physical environment (where you are living , how you are living,

your surroundings).

"Spiritual life.

Add, change or delete to include all the areas of life that are important to you.

Define what success means to you in each of the life areas you have

identified.

Step 4

Take each of your goals in turn and ask the question, 'Will having, being or

doing this thing improve the areas of my life that I deem are important ?'

Give one mark for each 'Yes' answer.


Step 5

For each of your goals, ask if it is right and fair to everyone in my sphere

of influence and concern and if it will it take you closer to your overall

objective.

Step 6

Put your goals in order. Take your top10 goals. These are the ones you are

going to work on.

Divide your goals into 4 main groups:-

"Ongoing goals needing daily input.

"short term goals to achieve within a week to a month.

"medium term goals that may take between a month and a year.

"long term goals that may take longer than a year.

Step 7

For each of the goals on the list expand your 'why'. Explain to yourself fully,

why you want to have this goal and what it will mean to you. Write this

down.

Step 8

Take each goal in turn and make 2 'to do' lists for each to show:-

"what you are prepared to do to achieve it.

"what you will need to do to achieve it.

Step 9

Make a list of:-

"the people you need to work with or.

"the people who can help you.

"the skills you might need to develop.

"the actions you need to take.

"what you need to learn.

"what you need to understand.


Step 10

Do the rocking chair test. Take yourself out into the future at age 95.

Imagine the wonderful life you have designed for yourself. Visualise it. Fully

associate with it.

Write down the story of your incredible life, the amazing things you’ve done,

fantastic things you’ve seen, the people you have touched and the changes

you have made in your own life.

Place your goals with their action points, within a timeframe. Put a start

and finish date on them. Remember a goal is a dream with a date.


Activity 3

Reframe these negative goals into positive ones.

'I want to give up smoking' –

'I want to lose weight' -

'I want to stop being shy'-


Activity 4

Record the 12 guiding principles to remember when setting goals for

yourself and your client, explain why they are important.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________

11. ____________________________________________________________

12. ____________________________________________________________


Activity 5

Experiment with asking challenging questions. Think of a friend or colleague

whose behaviour is stopping them from making progress. This can be in

any area of life. Write down five questions that you could ask to create

challenges.

Phrase them in a way that will make the person aware of the consequences

of their behaviour and the advantages of following through with a positive

action. Use this in an appropriate setting and with a suitable person who

has agreed to take part. Alternatively get someone to role play with you.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________


Activity 6

Client profile: Steve.

Age: 30 yrs old.

Family: 3 children Todd 2, Lisa, 4 and Paula 6.

Married to Jenny.

Occupation: Regional Sales Manager for a large manufacturing

company.

Hobbies: Golf, tennis.

Steve is your client and you have been coaching him for 3 months. He is

ambitious and his career has progressed fairly rapidly. The family expenses

are rather high as they have a large home and an expensive lifestyle. The

opportunity for promotion has arisen within the company for the post of

overseas manager. Steve has set goals that are working towards developing

his skills and knowledge in preparation for an interview. So far he has not had

much success in following through on his action plan. Devise five questions

you could ask Steve around this situation and give a rationale for each one.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________


Activity 7

What strategies do you use to keep up your own levels of motivation?


Activity 8

What are the lessons you have learned about motivation in this module and

how will you use them with your clients?


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 8 - HOW TO SET GOALS AND MOTIVATEOTHERS


Week 9

DISCOVERING YOURCOACHINGSTRENGTHS



Version 2011/1

In this module on niche coaching, you will:-

"Explore the differences between niche coaching and general coaching.

"Identify the current niches where coaches are operating.

"Hear how some of our coaches are using their coaching skills to

good effect in a variety of different settings and situations.

"Help you discover your own niche.

"Draw distinctions between personal and corporate coaching.

"Learn about executive coaching.

"Hear how our coaches have developed their skills through The

Coaching Academy course.

"Take a look into the future to predict how we envisage the

coaching profession to develop.

The skills that you have developed as a coach are very marketable in many

different settings. Academy trainee coaches come from a wide variety of

backgrounds. Some are therapists, counsellors, teachers, managers,

trainers, human resource personnel, team leaders, fitness instructors,

beauty therapists, entrepreneurs, etc. – the list is endless. The

permutations of Academy coaches’ experience and backgrounds are infinite.

However, what that unites them all is the desire to “make a real difference”

in the lives of others by helping them to move on and achieve their full

potential. People train as coaches either to enhance and develop skills for

in current careers or to launch their own private practice as a coach.

Many coaching practices are set up to work with individuals from various

walks of life. These coaches are general practitioners who usually work on

personal issues. They don’t specialise in any particular area of coaching,

but address all aspects of

Discovering Your Coaching Strengths Page 360

Week 9DISCOVERING YOUR COACHING STRENGTHS

life. The clients they attract want to effect a change in their lives. Often,

they are committed to personal development and take their life and how

they use it seriously; they want to lead amazing lives. “Life balance” is a

theme that coaches hear over and over again and clients need support to

make the most of their time and to achieve the life they want. Each client

has his or her own highly individual life plan and goals. The general

coaching practitioner deals with wide and varied issues. Some coaches find

that their private, personal coaching develops along certain lines, for

example: spiritual development coaching, parent coaching, partnership

coaching, singles coaching, and career coaching. The possibilities are

endless. Once you build a reputation for excellent coaching, your practice

will grow and you may be led to specialisation.

As the coaching profession has developed, there has been growth in niche

market coaching. Many coaches have tailored their practice to better

service the needs of existing contacts or customers. Who better to

appreciate the stresses and challenges facing a particular profession than

a coach who has experience in that field and who can foresee any

associated needs? Having prior experience and knowledge should not

result in a coach providing answers. This still remains the domain of the

client, but an empathy with a situation gives the coach a heightened

understanding of the issues brought to the coaching sessions and it can

help in raising pertinent questions. The “expert” coach needs to guard

against projecting his or her own experience onto the client. The coach

needs to use his or her knowledge appropriately. To ensure that you are a

market leader in your niche coaching business, you will need to be one step

ahead and help your client address current issues as they arise.

Consider the profession or business area that you have a working

knowledge of. Brainstorm the changes, challenges and demands that exist

or are likely to arise in the future. To be one step ahead, you need to keep

informed of current trends. List the skills, knowledge, and expertise that


you have that will give you credibility. Make a list of all the people you can

approach, within your area. Devise a clear set of objectives for coaching in

that sector. Provide a clear rationale explaining the benefits to the client of

using your services. The use and development of existing networks and

contacts is invaluable when developing your niche market. Word of mouth still

is one of the best ways of developing business. Keep your ear to the ground

and open your eyes to the needs around you. Actively seek opportunities for

coaching and find ways you can support your potential clients. Turn to

Activity 1 in your workbook. This will help you plan to target your work to a

niche market.

As we have said, the skills of coaching are transferable and can be used

in any context. There are those who maintain that the coach does not

necessarily need to have knowledge of the area being coached. They think

that coaches are less likely to transfer their own experience into the

situation and that, by being neutral, they can truly follow the lead of the

client and encourage true responsibility. John Whitmore, co-founder of Inner

Game Ltd. with Tim Gallwey, quotes a situation where they used two Inner

Ski coaches to coach on an Inner Tennis Course. Using the same coaching

techniques, their performance was similar to that of their tennis-playing

colleagues and on a couple of occasions it was actually better. This led

them to the conclusion that the tennis coaches were concentrating on the

technical faults in the client’s performance, whereas the ski coach was

unaware of such technical faults and relied on the participants’ self-

diagnosis of body efficiency. In this way they tackled the cause of the

problems, not the symptoms as the experts had. As a result of this

discovery, they trained their tennis coaches to detach themselves from

their “expertise”.

Nevertheless, in niche coaching, your experience will give you credibility

and open doors for you.


Some coaches use a life situation, interest, hobby or passion to develop a

niche market. It is important that, as a coach, you have a real passion for

what you do. Clients must believe that you can really help them make

sustainable changes. You will need to hold your client’s vision when they

get tired or despondent. One of the oldest coaches to qualify through the

Academy specialises in coaching people approaching retirement, those

who want to plan for a fulfilling future. She is an incredible lady with a whole

range of life changes and life experiences behind her. She is enjoying her

new career where she can inspire and encourage others – a real example

of a coach “walking her talk”. Another coach uses her experience and

passion for working with dyslexic and dyspraxic children to coach families

who are struggling to cope with a child with special needs. Therapists have

used coaching as a vehicle to work in specialised areas such as stress

coaching and self-esteem coaching. Many coaches offer sessions at the

fitness or health clubs they belong to. Often they have already-built

relationships and have a target group who are interested in their own well-

being.

Activity 2 in the workbook will help you explore your interests.

Many of the world’s top coaches have developed their coaching practices

by identifying a need in the market or as a result of unconsciously providing

a “coaching” service as they interacted with colleagues or customers.

Cheryl Richardson was working as a tax consultant when she realised she

was being used more and more by her clients as a sounding board to

discuss their lives and how they were going to make decisions or solve

dilemmas. She gave up helping them fill in their tax returns and instead

turned her attention to life planning. The rest is history. Cheryl is one of the

top coaches in the USA. Career coach Laura Berman Fortgang was once a

professional actress. She always wanted to inspire her audience through

the characters she played – to change their own lives for the better. This

led to her training others, using acting techniques, to improve their


communication skills and further their career. It was only a small step for

her to become a successful career coach.

A coach who found herself talking to her children’s friends about their study

choices and future career paths found herself increasingly in demand as a

coach, both from the friends and their anxious parents! The coach was able

to remain detached, she had no preconceived agenda and the sessions

were very productive. The students set focused and exciting goals for their

future and planned the action steps to take them there.

Think for a moment about all of the situations/places where you find

yourself helping and supporting others to learn, progress, and make

decisions. Over the next few weeks, make a list of all the situations where

you are asked for advice and support. Notice if there is a pattern. If there

is, you may use that to define a niche market for yourself. This is Activity

3 in your workbook.

Some coaches set up team coaching sessions for clients with either similar

backgrounds or needs. This is done either through arranging meetings,

telephone coaching or on-line sessions. Modern technology and the

computer age have turned the world into a global village, where people can

be put in touch in seconds via the Internet or e-mail.

Corporate or business coaching is an area where many of our coaches

operate and the module on corporate coaching deals with the whole aspect

of this type of work in depth.

Coaching is gaining popularity with companies as they seek to develop staff

to achieve their full potential, improve performance and grow their

business. Coaches are hired to work in all types of situations, ranging from

coaching individuals and executive teams in large companies and

institutions to coaching owners of small- to medium-sized businesses.


Research by the International Personnel Management Association

indicates that training increases productivity by 22%. Training with the

addition of coaching increases productivity to an impressive 88%.

An external coach may be used to support a company through a change or

to complete a particular project. When the coach works within this

situation, it is important to clarify with the client the purpose and focus of

your work and how they require feedback. Very often in these situations the

independent coach is led to deal with personal issues, which can have a

major bearing upon an employee’s performance. Clear ground rules need

to be established with both the client and the employee so that the coach

can maintain professional integrity.

Some companies employ ‘in house’ coaches as an essential part of the

staff development team.

Coaching is rapidly gaining ground as an effective management style and

is viewed as an essential part of a manager’s toolkit.

Coaching executives is another area where coaches work. An executive

coach works in large corporations with individuals or teams. Areas of

executive coaching can include leadership development, interpersonal and

communication skills, developing high-performance executive teams or

individuals, and career coaching. There are various styles of executive

coaching which the coach will negotiate with the client. In the busy and

competitive world of work, many are finding it increasingly difficult to

balance the demands of the job with the personal needs of the individual.

This often results in poor health, broken relationships and, sometimes,

poor performance. Many executives have found enormous benefits from

working regularly with a coach. The coach has raised their awareness and

helped them get back on track by identifying their core values and desires

and by planning a way to achieve them rather than struggling to survive. It


is often a lonely position at the top of the corporate tree and the executive

has valued the coach as an independent, confidential sounding board who

has no hidden agenda, only the welfare and success of the client at heart.

Whatever type of coaching work you decide to develop, it is important that

you view the client as a whole person. It is sometimes necessary to remind

the client of that fact too!

As coaches we are not able to look into the future, but, as perceptive,

proactive and informed human beings, we are able to make a good

prediction that, in the world of the 21st century, coaching will be at the

forefront of any personal and professional development programme. We

can be sure that humans will still be seeking to improve the quality of their

lives. Changes in culture, work and society will demand that, increasingly,

people make life-changing choices.

Already coaches are featured in the media and, as they become familiar

with the wider public, they will, like personal trainers, become more popular

as it is proven that they get results. With the constantly changing world of

work, the only way managers of the future will be able to keep up with the

demands of their jobs and improve the performance of their staff is by

learning about people and learning how to coach.

Coaching is becoming the ‘buzz’ word in many professions. Health and

education services are becoming aware of the power of coaching and are

seeking ways to understand how to use it within their institutions. In

companies where there has been a culture of blame managers are realising

the need to develop the workforce, encourage creativity, provide motivation

and encourage real responsibility and choice. There are many, many

openings for coaches to work in these situations.

In the future, people will continue to work with coaches on an individual


basis to keep themselves fresh and constantly upgrade themselves, their

lives and their careers. Managers and corporate executives will rely on

coaching to help them keep up to date, become more adaptable and

marketable. People will always want to achieve a balanced, healthy and

fulfilled life and the coach will help them prioritise, discover what is

important to them and keep on track.

The 21st century will bring exciting and broadening challenges and

changes. The effective coach will be well equipped to guide and navigate

clients through the exhilarating journey ahead.


Here are quotes from Academy coaches who have qualified and are working

in the field…

“I have been involved in personal and organised development for

more than 15 years, mainly in the public sector. Coaching is the

best and only approach to offer such energising and speedy

transformational solutions. I have become a passionate coach.”

Jasmine Shekleton, Academy delegate – Feb 2000

“I have found what I want to do. Being a life coach enables me to

help individuals make a real, positive difference to their lives!”

Linda Qualdrough, Academy delegate – Sept 2000

“I feel immensely privileged to be part of a profession which

supports, encourages and motivates people to perform at their

best and turn their lives around – as I have done – whilst at the

same time driving personal growth, satisfaction and fulfilment!”

Paula Heap, Academy delegate – March 2000

“I am a psychotherapist working with the past. How wonderful to be

able to take my clients on to the future with coaching. What great

support for real change, growth and fulfilment.”

Leda Macfarlaine, Academy delegate – Feb 2002


Activity 1

Consider the profession or business area you have a working knowledge of.

Make a list of all the ways you can keep informed of the current

developments in the field – people, books, websites, associations, etc.

"In the space below, brainstorm the changes, challenges and demands

that exist or are likely to arise in the future. (Keep informed of the current

situation to be one step ahead.)

"List the skills, knowledge, experience and expertise you have in that

field.

"Make a list of all the people you can approach, within your specialist

area, to discuss coaching.


"Devise a clear set of objectives for coaching in this sector.

"Describe the intended outcomes.

"Write a 2-5 minute presentation explaining to your potential client your

aims, the benefits of using your services and how you propose to work

with them.


Activity 2

List all the activities you do, hobbies, interests and all the clubs or groups

you belong to. Include the things you are passionate about. Consider them

in turn. Be creative and think of ways you could link them with coaching.

Choose the top 3, those that produced the most effective links. Plan a

series of actions for each one that will move you closer to securing clients

in that field.

Hobbies, interests, clubs, groups Action steps (with date)


Activity 3

Make a list of all the ways you have informally coached someone or been

asked for advice and support. Notice if there is a pattern. What are the

outcomes of your coaching?

Date Situation


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 9 - DISCOVERING YOUR COACHINGSTRENGTHS



Week 10

INTRODUCTION TOCORPORATECOACHING

Based on material provided by Neil and Vicki Espin


Version 2011/1

PreviewCorporate coaching has many common points with individual coaching but

there are some important differences.

This module…

"offers a background to the business environment that has

fuelled the growth in corporate coaching

"provides insights about the practicalities of corporate coaching

"defines the 12 key characteristics of an effective corporate

coach

"enables you to decide whether corporate coaching is for you

"challenges you think differently, to take action and to complete

the Activity exercises

BackgroundThe enormous growth in the demand for corporate coaching over the last

decade or so is the result of many changed priorities and pressures in the

workplace. Here are some of the main causes.

Within all organisations, people face ever increasing time pressures to

produce work within strict deadlines. An independent outsider can help

them focus with clarity on what it is that they hope to achieve.

Similar pressures are imposed on performance as organisations downsize

and use fewer people to do as much, or even more, work than before. The

trend is for this pressure to increase rather than reduce, therefore the need

for corporate coaching is also likely to increase along with it.

Introduction to Corporate Coaching Page 377

Week 10INTRODUCTION TO CORPORATE COACHING

Based on material provided by Neil and Vicki Espin

There is a greater focus by managers and executives on staff emotions.

Much has been written about the importance of emotional intelligence

quotient (EQ) as opposed to intelligence quotient (IQ). A corporate coach

can help leaders and their organisations in effectively managing and

understanding EQ.

The management of performance has changed. It is no longer sufficient to

use a 'big stick' approach to encourage staff to perform in 'the old

fashioned way'. Organisations need each person to perform because they

want to, which optimises the use of their resources.

From the employee viewpoint, there is the psychological contract.

Increasingly the work force seek organisations that will help them to reach

their own personal goals at the same time as they help the company to

reach its own goals and targets. When an organisation is able to fulfil that

role, employees are more likely to stay and remain loyal. On the other hand,

if they do not acknowledge this, their people will become disgruntled and

look for a more enlightened employer who will allow their personal growth

and development to flourish.

Much emphasis is placed on maintaining a supportive culture within an

organisation as this helps the retention of good staff. Corporate coaching

can be a highly visible contribution to this support and is set to grow

dramatically.

Quantified benefitsIn 1997, the International Personnel Management Association researched

training and development. Their survey revealed that productivity increased

by 22% following training. When the training was combined with coaching,

the productivity increase was a staggering 88%.


Here are some more statistics to inspire you if you are planning to take the

corporate route.

They are the findings of a survey by The International Coaching

Federation. They surveyed 11,000 coaching clients and the majority asked

for help with time management, their career, their business and their

business relationships. Here, in declining percentage sequence, are the

key survey results.

"An astounding 98.5% said that their investment, regardless of

cost, was well worth it.

"85% said they wanted a sounding board. Whilst this may surprise

you, leaders of organisations find it difficult to talk to their teams

of directors and to talk with shareholders. The corporate coach is

the ideal person to take them through any such blocks or issues

that surround the excellent commission of their jobs.

"78% said they wanted a motivator - someone that they knew they

would have to call, who would be independent and who would talk

with them about goals planned and achieved.

"57% said they wanted an independent friend.

"Over 50% experienced greater self awareness, higher self

confidence, improved goal setting and results on business

targets.

"50% said they wanted a more balanced life.

"40% asked their coach for help with setting goals - especially

concerning finance.

"40% said coaching enhanced their communication skills.

Although communication is an often talked about concept in

organisations, it is the key area that lets many of them down.

"33% said they had more fun as a result of coaching. People are

more productive when they have fun at work to make tasks more

enjoyable.

"25% felt that coaching had increased their income.


"An unquantified majority said that they used their coach as a

taskmaster and spiritual guide.


The characteristics of a successful corporate coach.Everything that you have learned about life coaching can be applied to use

with corporate clients, although the focus will be predominantly business

focused to start with. It will generally be an issue that a person wishes to

work on to remove an obstacle to their performance, that of a team

member or even, of an entire team.

Your questioning will be more tightly focused and will need a harder edge

to its challenges. Your clients expect you to achieve results on time and on

budget. In many cases, the lengthy relationship that a personal coach can

establish with a client is a luxury that the corporate coach does not have.

The following key characteristics of the corporate coach are not presented

in order of priority. They are simply classified for clarity and to aid your

understanding.


1. Knowing and behaviour.Because Corporate coaching is all about people, all of your life experiences

to date are absolutely relevant. The emphasis is on knowing, because this

means behaving with belief in yourself to be a corporate coach. Your

behaviour speaks volumes about your self belief. Well over half of your

communication with others is dependent on the things that you do. More

than a third of the impact that you create derives from the way that you use

your voice - so you have communicated the level of your self belief before

you even talk about coaching. There are some simple techniques that will

help you. These are provided at Activity 1…

"List your life achievements, both professional and personal. Ask,

'What am I really proud of in my life?' Share this list with others

who you know well, trust and respect and let them help you add

to your list.

"What does your non-verbal behaviour say to others about your

belief as a corporate coach? Does it demonstrate your

confidence, ability and right to be one? Get feedback from your

own mentor, coach, family and trusted friends.

"Record your own voice. Do your tone, pitch, volume and speed

say 'self assured'? Again, seek feedback.

"Use all your feedback to decide what actions you will take to deal

with any areas that need attention. As you do, review your list of

achievements to identify any repeating behaviours.

2. Clarity about coaching.Clients get confused about the way that coaching differs from training,

mentoring, consultancy and counselling. You will detect any confusion from

their comments. Your credibility will be seriously damaged if you allow such

matters to be unresolved before you start work. You must be passionately

clear in your own mind and then clearly agree the distinctions between the

various approaches with your clients.


"Trainers deal with the input of knowledge and skills. The trainer

is the significant party and the trainees are expected to

assimilate the knowledge and skills and then use them.

"Mentors are usually experts in a specific field or industry who

help their acolytes carve a path through the organisation. They

offer advice and direction.

"Consultants diagnose, advise and recommend solutions at a

macro level in relation to strategic or cultural issues.

"Counsellors assist people who lack the strength or inner

resources to move forward by themselves. Counselling helps

people deal with blocking or worrying past issues by providing

support and strength.

"Managers set directions and manage processes, performance,

rules, regulations, boundaries and productivity targets.

"These points are not intended to be text book definitions. They

are simple examples to highlight key differences.

Corporate coaching facilitates another individual's learning, development

and performance. Coaching permits and equips people to find their own

solutions, develop skills, modify behaviours and change attitudes.

Coaching encourages people to identify and follow their goals which are

achieved far more quickly than when an individual pursues them alone.

Coaching is future looking. (It is possible for a coach and counsellor to work

together, particularly if it is clear that an individual needs this specific

support to ease progress.)

Turn to Activity 2 to create your own definitions for coaching and the other

listed roles. Your aim is to achieve absolute clarity to differentiate quickly

and simply when you are asked.

There is a business model to show these various functions on the

'spectrum of support'. This shows the differences between directing,


guiding and coaching. Directing is a 'push' behaviour where you tell

someone what to do or solve the problem on their behalf. There is 'parental

support', a grey area between directing and guiding that offers advice and

asks questions. 'Pull' is at the non directive end of the spectrum and

includes coaching. You pull people towards their own solutions by asking

questions for your client to identify their best way forward. The coach pulls,

then follows and reflects rather than leading and pushing as in the directive

model.

3. Stakeholder Recognition.You must identify key stakeholders and satisfy their expectations.

Stakeholders are any members of the organisation who will or may be

impacted by - or have an interest or investment in the outcomes of your

coaching relationship and activities.

Activity 3 will help you. Make a list of possible organisational

stakeholders. It should include:-

"your client.

"their boss.

"their boss's boss.

"their colleagues who are not yet being coached by you.

"their team.

"Human Resources or Personnel Department members.

"the person who contacted you from within the organisation.

"those who do not currently buy into the concept of coaching - it

can be useful to find out why.

"the purchasing or sourcing team - the people who make

purchasing decisions.

"the fee payer.

Next, decide the stake that each of these individuals or groups has in your


corporate or executive coaching relationships. What is it about their role,

interests or concerns that give them a stake in the outcomes? Even if you

have no corporate experience you can do this by thinking about any

organisation that you have worked in or been a customer of.

Finally, you now need to discover what it will take to satisfy each

stakeholder. The most effective way to do this is by asking them directly or,

by asking the person who first contacted you. Take some time now and

think of ways that you can satisfy these stakeholder expectations.

4. Clear contracts.You must have the ability to establish a clear contract with each client. This

is the most important phase after you have dealt with an organisation to

establish their needs and requirements and have formulated your

proposals. Clarity is the key.

A contract is an explicit agreement of mutual expectations. It is a mutual

understanding of how the parties will work together in a relationship that is

freely entered into and an agreement involving the exchange of something

valued.

It is vital to establish and define clearly the objectives and the success

criteria. How will you and the organisation know that your coaching is

successful? What measures can be put in place to demonstrate success?

Know and acknowledge what you expect of your client and what they expect

of you. Never make assumptions about your contract with a client as this

can put everything else in jeopardy.

Your contract is on two levels - with the organisation and with the client.

Before you read the rest of this page, stop and list the things that you might

want to include in your contract.


Here are some suggestions in no particular order of priority.

Your contract should include:-

"Your charges with an indication of whether they are daily or hourly

based.

"Your working day - start and finish times, number of coaching

sessions per day (it is important to allow yourself enough time

for energy breaks, reflection, notes and preparation. You must be

as fresh for your last client of the day as for the first).

"Cancellation terms and conditions.

"Expenses for travel, accommodation, telephones and other out of

pocket expenditure. Be very clear about what your client will pay

for and whether these expenses are included in the fee or

invoiced as extras.

"The coaching method - face to face or by telephone. If face to

face, who will book the rooms or accommodation?

"The type of coaching - will you be working with individuals, teams

or both?

"How the coaching will work - numbers of sessions or hours per

client or even, open ended sessions within an agreed budget.

"Payment arrangements - most organisations will work with you on

a 30 day payment basis.

"Ground rules for coaching conversations.

"Feedback method - written reports, emails, telephone reporting,

meetings?

"How confidentiality is maintained whilst achieving organisational

goals - you may encounter divided loyalties. These arise because

you are contracted by the organisation whilst coaching their staff

members in confidence. Confidentiality is essential if you are to

achieve the best for your clients. Make this clear to the

organisation and to each person to be coached. Explain to the

individuals that you will not report back on specific issues. It can


take a while to establish trust and intimacy and a statement of

your intent at the outset can be an enormous help.

"How the impact of coaching will be evaluated, both in terms of

changes each individual might make and impact on the

organisation.


As well as your clear contract with the organisation, you need to establish

a contract with each individual client within it. Many people are unclear

about the definition of coaching. You should include:-

"in simple terms, what coaching is and is not.

"their expectations of you.

"your expectations of them.

"how you differ from their manager.

"how you deal with confidentiality and feedback.

"when and where the sessions will take place.

Turn to Activity 4.

5. Business awareness.You must keep up with hot business topics and issues - globally, nationally,

regionally, industry specific and organisation specific. Your clients will talk

about them and you must have sufficient awareness to sustain a

meaningful conversation. Decide now on any actions that you will take to

resolve any gaps in your capabilities in this area.

6. Tool kit.You will have a tool kit of appropriate business models. Coaching is never

about giving advice, direction or solutions but you do need a deep awareness

of the challenges that face people in organisations - especially the events and

situations of organisational life that can get in their way or impede their

progress. Get to grips with your own capability to deal with such issues to

attune your sense of the reality of their world so that you can follow better

informed questioning. Turn to Activity 5.

Typical challenges that people in organisations space would include:-

"organisational change


"performance management

"work-life balance

"personal and career change

"relationships and conflict

"team performance

What is your present knowledge and understanding of these areas?

Commit right now to action to fill any gaps in your knowledge and

understanding.

You need to build a tool kit of models appropriate to each defined challenge

or situation so that you have a reference point for each. Take some time

now to review your actions for these first six characteristics and put them

in your own personal priority order. Turn to Activity 6.

7. Organisational Culture.You will need to develop the ability to quickly get to grips with organisational

culture. Put simply, culture means 'the way things are done around here'.

It is the lifestyle of the organisation and part of your orientation must be

an awareness of this to help your understanding of the issues and reality

that your clients will present.

An organisation's key values, beliefs and assumptions can be learned from

a little detective work in some, or all, of the following:-

"the stories - who and what do people talk about?

"the symbols - titles, perks, car park allocations, office sizes.

"the premises - building ages, sizes, locations, decorations,

furnishings.

"the power - who really holds the power (it may not be the boss or

MD!).

"the structure - is there an organisation chart and does it reflect


the reality?

"the culture - is it rigid, hierarchical, formal, informal?

"the controls - rules, regulations, rituals and routines.

"the communication - at all levels.

Notice the differences between what people say they do and what they

actually do, both formally and informally. How do people communicate with

superiors, peers and subordinates?

Think of an organisation that you know and assess it against these

elements. Decide what this analysis is telling you. Turn to Activity 7.

8. Corporate language.Working inside corporate organisations can sometimes feel like going to

another country. Each has their own language which you must learn and

use when you are working with them. There are three dominant corporate

languages.

Universal Business Language

This is the 'business speak' used globally and universally across all

organisations. You must be familiar with it to maintain your credibility and

to communicate effectively. How many of these examples can you define?

SLA Budget ROI EV Cost of sale KPL CSF

Industry or Sector Language

Words and phrases that are specific to an industry and which are

understood by people working in it. Retail, finance, catering, IT.

Local Language

This is the jargon, slang and abbreviations used as 'in-house speak' and


can even vary between departments in the same organisation. You need to

gain a rapid understanding of these and, if in doubt when you hear

something that is not clear, ask, 'Can you expand on that please?'

Even 'normal' terms like accountability, responsibility and agreed action

can mean different things to different people within different organisations.

You MUST be clear about what they mean in your corporate coaching client

environment.

Do you need to get up to speed on your corporate language skills? List

people who can help you, list (and read) trade papers and specialist

publications, buy or borrow books, check out websites. Turn to Activity 9.

Here are the translations!"SLA is service level agreement - the absolute minimum level of

service agreed between two parties.

"Budget can be either the amount of money allocated for a

particular purpose or it can mean a sales target.

"ROI is return on investment - the income or profit against the

expenditure to earn it.

"EV is embedded value - the value that is built in to a product or

service.

"Cost of sale is the total cost of everything that it takes to

generate a sale of a product or service.

"CSF is critical success factor - and even this can have different

local interpretations.

9. Bottom line.Consistently demonstrating your understanding of the impact of your

coaching on the bottom line is a key success factor for any corporate


coach.

Regardless of any other reasons that an organisation offers for using your

services, everything is driven directly or indirectly by bottom line

performance, shareholder value or both.

This means that you must deliver on three fronts. You must provide a sound

return on investment, you must meet agreed critical success factors and

you must maintain client confidentiality.

Stakeholders will certainly ask about evaluating bottom line impact and

value of your services. Develop some model answers that can be adapted

to suit specific circumstances and do this sooner rather than later - your

credibility and success in gaining assignments and repeat assignments

can depend on your ability to demonstrate real and measurable value.

Plan your actions now to help you gain confidence in this. Begin by talking

to a corporate coach to see how they deal with it.

10. Spread the word.You must work consistently to dispel the myth that coaching only benefits the

senior people in the organisation. This is critical for the future of corporate

coaching.

"demonstrate that coaching works by helping clients to achieve their

goals.

"remember the ripple effect that spreads the word once

stakeholders experience the benefits.

"collect and use testimonials, anecdotal evidence and examples

without compromising confidentiality.

"focus on benefits and bottom line value.

Turn to Activity 10.


11. Coaching capabilities.The capabilities of a corporate coach have much in common with those of

a personal life coach. Here are some reminders to help you focus on any

areas where you may need to take action to get up to speed. Use your

coach to help you.

"awareness - of your present coaching abilities and any action to

consistently lift it higher. Work on yourself!

"inspire - you must remain inspired and your clients need

inspiration as much as motivation.

"the ability to build relationships - seek to build relationships

instead of just having clients.

"communication - use powerful language, 'amazing' instead of

'well done' Complete the alphabet with power words, here are

your first three… amazing, brilliant, creative…

"presence - you must have an immediate impact of bearing,

confidence and competent professionalism.

"trust - absolute trust from your clients that they have your

respect and confidence. Build rapport.

"flexibility - corporate clients have time pressures, respect these

and be flexible in accommodating changes.

"futurism - keep yourself and your client focused on future

success rather than past experiences.

"resilience - do not give up and keep your client on course,

regardless of work imposed pressures.

"tenacity - organisational environments can be frustrating, rise

above them and move ever forward.

Turn to Activity 11.

12. Proper selfishness.Take time to get fit for the job in hand. Do whatever it takes to develop your


own mental and physical energy. You need to be inspiring your clients and

you cannot do that from an exhausted and empty source.

So dare to be selfish. Is your own life balanced - do you need to work on

physical and mental aspects - is your diet healthy - are you working with

your coach?

Turn to Activities 12 and 13.


Some final reminders.Success breeds success.

Have and work through an action plan. Every action will create a different

feeling. Feeling different means that you will act differently. Different

actions lead to greater success.

Coach as much as possible and seek to be coached. Learn from both

experiences.

Meet and talk with other corporate coaches to listen and learn from each

other.

Organisations can be complex. Keep coaching simple. In a complex

environment, simplicity is powerful.

Team and group dynamics can often lead to invitations for personal

coaching - then the individuals return to find that the reformed team can

progress ever faster towards their joint goals.

Life and work balance will often be presented as issues. You cannot

separate the two and deal with one in isolation.

Summary.You now have enough information to decide if corporate coaching is for you.

You have identified any areas that you may need to work on and you have

created your personal action lists.

Corporate coaching is challenging, exciting, varied, rewarding and

expanding.


Activity 1

List your life achievements, both personal and professional. Gain feedback

from trusted friends and add to the list

Check out your behaviour. List positive and negative behaviours in two

columns. What is your behaviour saying to others about your right to be a

corporate coach?

Record your own voice. List comments about tone, pitch, volume, speed

and clarity. What actions do you need to take?

Identify the skills, knowledge and abilities that you have to use in a

corporate environment.


Activity 2

Identify the following in terms that you would use to explain them clearly to

a corporate client. Be clear, accurate, precise and simple.

Coaching is ______________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Mentoring is ____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Consulting is ____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Training is ______________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Managing is ____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Counselling is ____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Can you amplify your words with visual examples?

Where does each activity fit on the spectrum of support?

Directive Push Non directive Pull


Activity 3

Complete the following columns.

In A list as many stakeholders as you can think of

In B state the possible stake of each in your coaching

In C say how you can meet and exceed their expectations

A B C


Activity 4

Design a contract for an organisation, including all the points mentioned in

the text.

Design a contract for a client in an organisation, including all the points

mentioned in the text.


Activity 5

List all the challenges that are facing people in the sector in which you wish

to work.


Activity 6

Put the first six listed characteristics in order of your personal priority and

state what actions you will take to improve your abilities and competence.


Activity 7

Think of an organisation that you know. What are the key beliefs, values

and assumptions. What do these tell you?


Activity 8

From recollection of your reading of the text, define the following:-

"SLA __________________________________________________________

"Budget ________________________________________________________

"ROI __________________________________________________________

"EV ____________________________________________________________

"KPI __________________________________________________________

"CSF __________________________________________________________


Activity 9

List the actions that you will take to acquire the resources that you need

to become familiar with the three main categories of corporate language.


Activity 10

List ways that you can demonstrate how coaching can have a beneficial

bottom line impact. Illustrate with anecdotes concerning productivity and

performance improvement. How can you quantify the benefits?


Activity 11

Rate yourself on a score of 1 to 10 against the following:-

What actions are you going to take?

Rate 1-10

awareness _____

inspiring _____

relationships _____

presence _____

communication _____

trust _____

flexibility _____

futurism _____

resilience _____

tenacity _____


Activity 12

Rate yourself on a score of 1 to 10 against the following:-

What actions are you going to take?

Rate 1-10

Life balance _____

Goal setting _____

mental fitness _____

physical fitness _____

diet and nutrition _____

Do you have a coach (No = 0 Yes=10) _____


Activity 13

Put the final six listed characteristics in order of your personal priority and

state what actions you will take to improve your abilities and competence.


Activity 14

Return to every action that you have listed on these activity pages and put

a start and finish date against each.


Appendix 1

CORPORATE COACHING

Differences from Personal CoachingYour corporate client will invariably require a formal tender or quotation for

your services and then, when you have secured the order, they will usually

expect a formal contract.

You will probably be asked to provide a means of written quantification of

your ‘deliverables’, the results that you will achieve.

Expect to spend considerable time and money on promotional activities.

Your print and telephone bills will be higher than for Personal Coaching.

Decisions can take a long time to be made - several months in some cases.

Once a client decides to proceed they may expect you to be available at

short notice.

Your Corporate Client may well seek trade references or reports from

previous clients to affirm your track record and capabilities.

The bad news is that all these points can cost you time and money. The

good news is that a Corporate Coach can easily afford both.

The next page considers your availability.


Your Corporate Coaching AvailabilityIf you choose to operate as a full time corporate coach, you will not spend

all your time on coaching.

This is not as contradictory as it sounds. You should plan to spend up to

half your available time in travelling, meetings and marketing.

If you take four weeks out for holidays, you have a potential of 48 weeks a

year for Corporate Coaching. Of this, you will spend around 24 weeks

actually coaching.

If you look back at the examples at the start of the Personal Coaching

section, you will see that we selected a hypothetical target of £24,000

annual turnover.

Even if you flunked maths at school, you can see that this equates to

£1000 per week of actual coaching and an average of £500 per week

throughout the year.

Here is your foundation block:-

A. Decide how many weeks per year you will spend on Corporate

Coaching

B. Halve the figure at A to give the number of weeks of actual

coaching

C. Decide how much you want to earn in a year - remember to add

one third for overheads

D. Divide amount at C by weeks at A to define your average weekly

target

E. Divide the amount at C by the weeks at B to give your minimum

weekly charge out rate

F. Divide E by 4 to give your minimum daily fee


On the next page we will demonstrate why the figure in the above

example is, if anything, on the low side for a corporate coach.


Setting Corporate FeesThe author firmly believes that more prospective corporate assignments

are lost because of low quotes rather than because the price was too high.

Many corporate minds associate ‘low price’ with ‘cheap’ and believe that

this applies to the quality of service. Most will want the best and expect to

pay well for it.

Note the use of the word ‘assignment’. This sounds more professional

than ‘series’ and if your client has been exposed to consultants

(Management, IT, Health & Safety, Quality, Training etc.) they will be

comfortable and familiar with the term.

They will also have an expectation that your fee will be in line with those

charged by consultants. You should not disappoint them!

Beware of quoting a fee during early discussions before you have a good

idea of the scope of the assignment. Some clients are skilled at getting an

early quote from you and then gently moving the goalposts ever further

apart with no increase in fee.

For your own protection as much as your client’s, you must insist on a

written brief that sets out the who, what, where, when and how of the

assignment.

When you have this document signed and agreed, you are then in a position

to calculate your fee. Consider the number of days that you expect the

assignment to take, add 25% for ‘contingencies’ and then apply your

selected daily rate. (Whenever possible, keep to a daily rate figure rather

than quoting for a ‘job and finish’. At least, that way, if you do have to run

over your planned duration (it happens) you will still be rewarded for it.)


You and you alone can decide how much you will charge.

A typical management consultant may charge a small, but growing, owner

/ managed business around $500 per day. For larger organisations the

charge-out rate may be around $1000 per day and for blue-chip

multinationals, $5000 per day is sometimes quoted.

If you are planning a full time Corporate Coaching career, you will almost

certainly have some awareness and knowledge of the procedures that

prevail in many organisations. Use this information when setting your fees.

Getting PaidIn Personal Coaching, your clients will not usually mind paying in advance.

In Corporate Coaching it is rare for a client to agree to this.

Companies do go bust, get taken over or merged and these events can

have a disastrous effect on your cash flow.

The issue here is to minimise your exposure to risk.

You can check out your potential client at your local reference library to

learn as much as you can about the company. If you already have access

to a credit checking agency, then by all means use them, but this can be

an expensive option for a young coaching practice.

Devise your own ‘Standard Terms and Conditions’. Include the following

(select your own figures), “Fees are due within 30 days of invoice date.

Late payment may incur a penalty equivalent to the outstanding amount

plus interest on the whole amount at bank rate plus 5%.”

Alternatively, you might prefer phased payment and could consider including

egaPgnihcaoC etaroproC ot noitcudortnI 415

a phrase like, “A retainer of 30% of the agreed fee is payable on signing the

contract. The balance is payable in two equal payments, each of 35% at

monthly intervals”.

You will find it useful, in the event of a dispute, if you have had a friendly

solicitor to look over your proposed ‘Standard Terms’ and your contract.

There is no foolproof way of ensuring payment. Most clients will honour

their commitment.

Before starting an assignment, find out who pays the bills and where they

are located. (In a big organisation this may be in a different building or

town!) If you can get a name of an individual, it is beneficial to give them a

‘courtesy phone call’. Ostensibly to seek advice on how they like your

invoices presented, your hidden agenda is to establish rapport which

should help prompt payment.

If your client pays a retainer, we suggest that you place this in a deposit

account until the assignment is completed, just in case matters go totally

pear-shaped and you need to offer a refund. This is most improbable but it

is always useful to be prepared.

Let’s end this section by looking further at the corporate mind.


The Corporate MindThe corporate mind sometimes appears to work in strange ways.

It is frequently controlled by budgets and often by procedures.

A potential client who has an annual budget - sometimes devolved to a

section manager who has discretion on where to spend it - will think in

annual terms.

They spend like crazy for the first five months and then have to produce a half-

yearly review. This shows that they may overspend if they continue on the

previous route so the manager corrects the situation by swinging the

pendulum the other way.

Then, a few months before the end of the financial year, the ‘use it or lose

it’ syndrome cuts in. This means that you may be inundated with requests

for assignments from April until August - the first five months of the

financial year - and then find that your services are not in demand again

until the end of the second half-year, say January to March.

You may even be asked to invoice early or late to fall into a given year’s

budget.

Procedures sometimes mean that you will have to enter a competitive

tender situation. Many organisations demand at least three quotes from

competing companies before they will place an order.

This need not be a problem. The corporate mind will not always pick the

lowest quote (remember the ‘use it or lose it’ budget requirement!). If you

find yourself in this situation, ensure that you know exactly what their

procedure requires. Then follow it to the letter and deliver a pristine

presentation on time.


You will become a very frustrated corporate coach if you start to question

procedures. They often have little logic to an outsider. Just go along with

whatever they require you to do.

The corporate mind has another infuriating quirk. It can take ages to make

a decision (we are talking months here) and then expect you to swing into

action at very short notice. Unless you are aware of this, it can play havoc

with your planning.

An assignment may last anything from a week to a year or longer. Most full-

time corporate coaches will keep marketing activities running all year,

albeit at a background level. As one assignment nears its scheduled

completion, they step up their marketing activities to secure continuity. The

objective is to simply find one more assignment - the next one. It is difficult,

if not impossible, to accurately define how many corporate clients you can

expect in any one year.

The above paragraph assumes that your style of Corporate Coaching

limits you to dealing with one client at any one time.


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 10 - INTRODUCTION TO CORPORATECOACHING


Week 11

RUNNING YOURPRACTICE

AS A BUSINESS



Version 2011/1

PreviewThis module is unique because it will self destruct! You will probably want

to return to the other modules on a fairly regular basis to refresh your ideas

and explore some of the angles that you may have skipped the first time

around.

Although this section carries equally valid information about launching your

practice right through to conducting your first few 'paid for' coaching

assignments, by the time you have done a few sessions you will have

established a pattern of working and will not need to return to these pages.

The pages themselves will not self destruct - but your need for them should

and must.

You are invited to consider the minimal equipment that you need along with

your coaching environment. You are guided through the free session that

you conduct. You are offered some thoughts on session length, on fees

and on client retention. It is time to get your practice up and running.

Your essential tools.You need a telephone, something to write on and something to write with.

That concludes your list of essential tools! Although you can coach with this

minimum, there are a few very useful additions that will improve your

coaching by making life easier for you and your clients.

Clearly, you will need the telephone to make appointments and to conduct

telephone coaching sessions. You need to make it simple for your

prospective clients to get in touch with you so acquire a basic answering

Running Your Practice As A Business Page 423

Week 11RUNNING YOUR PRACTICE AS A BUSINESS

machine or, if you have a mobile phone, arrange for it to contain a divert to

your landline. Do not be


tempted to try telephone coaching with a mobile phone as the technology

is insufficiently robust, reliable, or cost effective for this purpose. Always

return any messages within 24 hours or sooner. Do not allow teenagers or

other family members to answer your coaching telephone with joke

messages (it has happened!) and do not use 'humorous' messages on an

answering machine. Be professional, even before coaching is mentioned or

started.

Your coaching environment.You need somewhere comfortable to work with a table (or desk) and chair.

This can be a room in your home as long as you can meet the following

requirements - your room and desk must be uncluttered so that you can

concentrate, focus and think clearly. It must be possible to close the door

and shut out sounds of children, dogs, washing machines, televisions,

telephones ringing and doorbells. Your clients must feel that you are totally

focused on them. Please turn to Activity 1.

Your free trial sessions.Free trial sessions are far more than a useful and powerful marketing tool.

They help your prospective clients in two ways. They can find out if they like

and enjoy the coaching experience and can see how it will benefit them

and, they can discover if they like you and your coaching style.

Remember that you are selling life coaching but equally, you are selling

yourself and your personality.

If this potential client does not enjoy coaching it will not matter how

wonderful you are, they will not sign up with you. You will not convert them

to paying clients either, if they enjoyed the coaching but disliked you. You

must score two out of two for your relationship to succeed.


Life coaching is a relatively new concept and it is only to be expected that

people will want to try before they buy, so make it easy for them to do so.

Like 'normal' sessions, which this free trial should replicate as closely as

possible, the ideal length is between twenty minutes and one hour. Ease

into rapport creation naturally with simple - but essential questions about

your client's name (and what they prefer to be called), address, telephone

number and email address. Allow them to lead to some extent for the next

few minutes, by asking you any questions about the life coaching process

but, you must stay in control so that you can get them to define one issue

(and only one at this stage) that they would like to work on. You must get

to this point within the first ten minutes so that they can change their

feelings about the issue before the end of the session and see some

positive benefit. You will need to use all your incisive skills of listening,

questioning and rapport building.

You will find that the people who accept your offer of a free session will fall

into one of three clearly recognised categories. You will quickly recognise

the time-wasters who just want anything that is going if it is free. Be

courteous and professional but get them off your line within fifteen minutes

or else they will pick your brains, sap your energy, drain your enthusiasm

and will never, ever, buy. All life coaches have their share of these people,

they seem to go with the territory. Let them go and move on.

There are the genuinely interested individuals who have a problem

committing to anything in life. You need to convince them that coaching is

right for them and you do this by getting them to agree that you have made

progress together during the free trial session. Spell out the result or

outcome in positive terms and get their verbal agreement of these positive

results. Once convinced, these clients can become your most successful

of all. They can take forever to commit, but once committed they do so with

absolute determination and sense of purpose.


There are some who have already been convinced - or who have convinced

themselves - that they need coaching. They are just checking that you are

the coach for them before they sign up. If you do not get them as paying

clients, another coach will.

Please turn to Activity 2.

The phone rings… it is your first ever client.This call is by prior appointment so you will not be surprised but it is quite

OK to be a little apprehensive as long as the client does not pick up on this.

There is absolutely no need to share your lack of experience with the client.

Before the appointed time you have cleared your desk, you have a clean

pad of paper and at least two pens in case one dries out during the

session. You sit comfortably with your telephone within easy reach. You are

dressed comfortably and have taken care of any bathroom needs. You have

a glass of water within reach so that you can sip if your voice or throat

becomes dry. You may have a checklist of 'must ask' questions and maybe

some bullet points or key words to jog your memory.

You answer the telephone within the first four rings and immediately thank

your client for calling and ask how they are. If they are on time, compliment

them on this fact. These positive strokes help to put the client (and you) at

ease. Your client may be very nervous too. Get the essential personal

details that we covered above. If they ask why you need their address,

explain that it is simply so that you can send them some useful information

if the need arises.

Here are some useful key words or questions to explore in every initial

session. Ask the client:-

"How much do you know about coaching already?


"Do you really know what it is or is there confusion?

"What do you do for a living?

"How long have you been doing that?

"What sort of house do you live in?

"Do you live alone or, who lives with you?

"What do you expect to gain from being coached?

"What issues would you like to discuss?

"Let us refine this down to the one that is most important to you

to resolve right now?

You will jot notes down rapidly as the client talks and you will be alert to

anything raised that you can identify with:-

Client: 'I am a trainer with the NHS Trust and they keep moving the

goalposts.’

Coach: 'I can understand how you must feel. I once worked in the

NHS myself.'

Leave it at that. Identify common points to stress understanding but avoid

giving a lecture on your own life history. By all means 'leak' bits about your

background, but only if these will add to your credibility as a life coach. The

client must do most of the talking and you must listen.

Then move on to using the skills that you have learned about goal defining,

setting and achieving.

As the session nears its close, remind the client of all the undisputed

benefits of coaching and mention the absolute confidentiality that you

observe.

How much and how many?You must discuss fees during a preliminary free session. Tell them the


price and explain that this is per session - or per month of four sessions,

whichever you prefer. Tell them that most benefit accrues with clients who

commit to a total of twelve sessions, usually at weekly intervals. Agree a

regular time right now - say every Tuesday afternoon at 3.30.

Explain that they pay monthly in advance and that the first session will not

happen until their first cheque has cleared. It is your practice so you set

the rules, but if you use these guidelines as a benchmark, you will emulate

the examples of all successful life coaches. If you can, set up monthly

payments by standing order so that you do not have to keep sending bills

or asking for money.

You alone set your fee level. Some coaches have income from elsewhere

and are happy to provide free coaching. This, strangely, can make coaching

more difficult because a client who has not made a financial commitment

may lack determination, commitment and motivation.

If you choose to coach in an economically depressed location you may

choose to set your fees on the low side of average. Only do this if you wish

to remain economically depressed yourself.

You find out the 'going rate' for comparative professional services in your

area (homeopaths, chiropractics, osteopaths, reflexologists,

hypnotherapists and so on) or by talking frankly with other life coaches.

Avoid the temptation to enter into a cut price war.

Some coaches pride themselves on being at the top of the range, both in

the quality of their coaching as measured by results and, by the size of their

fees. Some clients do indeed look at a high price and assume that it must

mean that you are good. OK. Whatever works for you and your clients.

There are no cartels (which are illegal), no 'recommended retail prices' and


the decision on fee levels is yours and yours alone. This could be a good

point to pause in your reading of these pages to briefly revisit your own

financial goals, checking especially factors of work and life balance, your

own desired lifestyle and 'must have' income after tax as well as 'would

like to have' income.

The coaching contract.Explain that you have a very simple standard contract that sets out your

own commitment to the coaching process and the conduct of the sessions

and that you will send out so that your client can sign and return one copy

to you as a confirmation of their commitment and their understanding of

what they are committing to. Use this document to spell out that you will

charge for missed appointments unless you have been given 24 hours

notice of intent to miss, state your general policy on 'extras' - sessions

between sessions, emails, general advice by telephone and early

termination arrangements.

This document must be clear and simple. If it runs to more than a single

side of A4 it is too complex, so work on it some more. Do not involve a

solicitor as this is not a contract in the legal sense of the word and, legal

involvement will add cost and ensure that it is neither clear nor simple!


Retaining your clients to complete their programme ofsessions.A few will, at some time during your coaching career, drop out. You can ask

why, but you will rarely receive a true reason although you will hear some

fascinating - and sometimes highly original - excuses. If you lose more than

one client in twenty through premature cancellation, then you are doing

something very, very, wrong. Examine your approach and conduct extremely


carefully and take whatever action is needed. Start by discussing the

situation with your own coach!

The easiest way to retain clients is to apply what you have learnt, especially

about establishing rapport, building trust and your professional skills of

listening and guided questioning. You and your clients must judge your

effectiveness (and theirs) by results, results and results! Your client

achieves the results with your help. To do this, you must both be clear

about what they want and their expectations - then you give them the

means to achieve them.

In every session, find some positive words of encouragement and get your

client to report back to you what has happened since their previous

session and correct them if they dare to use negative terms and phrases,

there is ALWAYS a positive alternative. Love your clients. Lead your clients.

Support your clients.

Keep their goals in mind at all times and remind them of these. Always give

encouraging feedback and remember, that as they experience results and

personal growth their expectations will increase and you must be thinking

ahead to help them deal with new, improved and possibly unfamiliar

successes. Allow your clients to tell you, in their own words, how much they

are benefiting from the coaching experience… even if you have to nudge

them to do this. Every time they define the benefits, they are reinforcing

their own commitment and enthusiasm. Remind them that you expect

nothing but the best from them and from you.

Be firm about session start and finish times. Be firm about avoiding idle gossip

and excuses - many clients will attempt to use these as devices to avoid facing

up to significant issues. As coach, you must remain in control of every session.

Do this with firmness, humour, care and understanding and your clients will

thank you for it and will stay the course. Now take look at Activity 4.


Summary.You had already gained the essential coaching skills before you started this

module. Now you know the minimum equipment that you need to apply

those skills, you have been asked to consider your coaching environment

so that, when your telephone rings with that very first call, you will deal with

in confidence instead of panic.

You have the knowledge you need to plan the initial session and to make

it a success. You have considered your fees and conditions and put these

in a 'contract format'. You have given thought to retaining your clients and,

although this may seem a lot to contend with before you have received that

first ever coaching call - these pages will seem incredibly obvious

afterwards. And your need for them will self-destruct.

If you did not complete the suggestions in the Activity sections, please do

so now and ask yourself this. Why did you skip them? And, what does this

tell you about your clients' reactions when you ask them to take some

action before their next session and they do not do it? Now there is a very

fundamental coaching thought for you to ponder!


Activity One

Consider the essential tools that you will need and the desirable ones that

will assist you when you are coaching. Gather those that you already have.

List those that you will need. Set a date to acquire them this week and then

do so!

Plan your environment and make any changes that are necessary this

week.

Requirements Planned date Completed date


Activity Two

What are the two main ways that 'free' sessions help prospective clients?

What is the major drawback?

List ten things to ascertain during the free trial session…

Briefly, into what three categories will 'free' clients tend to fall?


Activity Three

We suggest nine essential questions. List them here.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________

How much are you planning to charge per session?

How did you arrive at that figure?


How long will each of your sessions last?

Will you aim for weekly or monthly sessions?

How do you plan to be paid?

Refer to your course notes and any life coaching textbooks that you have

to seek examples of coaching contracts. Then use the next page to draft

your own. Is it simple and clear? Does it include:-

"client name and contact details

"price

"frequency

"payment

"cancellations

"extras

"confidentiality

"early termination

"missed or late appointments

"space for both parties to sign and date.

"a clause like… 'coaching is neither counselling nor therapy. The

results cannot be guaranteed as you enter into coaching with the

full understanding that your actions will create the results but,

you have my total commitment to you achieving the outcomes

that you define during our early sessions.'

If it is more than a single A4 typed page you have been too longwinded.

Brevity and clarity are essential.


Prepare your own contract now…

DRAFT COACHING CONTRACT


Activity Four

List all the things that you can do to help to ensure that every client follows

the entire planned series of coaching sessions. Write rapidly, do not 'edit

in your head', just get them down on this sheet as fast as you can.

Prioritise the three that you believe you may most need to work on yourself.

Then do it.


Appendix 1

FROM FREE TO FEE

A FREE session should be at least 20 minutes as you can do very little in

less time. It sounds more generous if you offer a 'free half hour'. In reality,

be prepared for at least 45 minutes. You will spend up to 15 minutes in the

'conversion to fee' process.

Your FREE trial prospects will mainly come from one of three groups...

"There will be the 'time-wasters' who get their jollies by accepting

free trials of absolutely anything from blotting paper to rubber

stress-balls at exhibitions. Thankfully, these are in the minority.

"There will be the 'going to do it anyway' types who have already

pre-sold themselves on the idea of coaching and just need

reassurance that you are the right coach for them.

"There will be the 'genuinely interested but need convincing'

types. You will work hard to earn their trust but do it well and they

will become paying clients. Around half of your free trial

candidates will come from this group.

If you suspect that you have a 'time-waster' TW) - in the course of your early

conversation, enquire whether they have done any personal development

courses or seminars and, if so, how many? Follow this up immediately by

asking what benefits they gained? If they have been to many and gained

little or nothing, this is a strong indication of a pedigree TW.

Cut to the chase as soon as possible and demand that they define an

issue. For probably the only time in your coaching career, ask for some

stringent positive action immediately. This will probably frighten the TW

away fast. Another clue to the TW species is that they are more interested

in the fee/cost/price than they are in the service and its benefits.


Some TWs can be converted eventually. At this stage, get their mailing

address from them and offer a fee-paid service at six and twelve months

after their free session. You may pick up a few clients this way - but don't

hold your breath! So, don't write them off but don't waste too much of your

valuable time with them either.

With the 'going to do it anyway' types, you will need to devote the bulk of

their free session to establishing rapport and identifying areas of common

interest between them and you. Your objective is simply to convince them

that you ARE the coach for them. Review your notes on rapport

establishment.

The rest of this paper concerns the third type, the 'genuinely interested'

(GI) group. Here is what may typically happen.

All responses to your promotional material will include all three types.

During your first telephone conversation - which should last no more than

ten minutes - you can expect to answer questions about the coaching

process and your qualifications and experience to provide the service. At

this stage you seek only to sustain interest and should not sell a course of

paid sessions. You must, however, establish a time and date when they will

phone (or meet you) for a FREE session. Make this at least a week ahead.

Ask them meanwhile, to think about a single issue in their life that is

causing them concern or that they wish to change. If they can tell you what

it is there and then, this is fine. Have them define it and say that you will

make that the topic of the FREE session. If they cannot, then ask them to

write it down on a single sheet of paper and send it to you before the FREE

session.

As you progress, be mindful of the need to follow three styles during the

FREE session. (Remember this by 'Free=Three=Fee'.


The three styles or components are...

"KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid.)

"TELL (Tell them often.)

"HURT (Challenge their comfort zone.)

KISS means that you don't go heavily into psycho-babble. You dwell on

benefits rather than procedures.

TELL means that you have to repeat in different ways with metaphors or

analogies to ensure their understanding.

HURT means that you don't let them off the hook by avoiding reality.

This paper is not intended to provide you with 'one size fits all' scripts. But,

here is a typical example of a HURT series of questions - you should

imagine the answers.

"Have you ever set yourself goals, resolutions and plans?

"How often have they happened in rough terms - 100%, 50%,

less?

"How much fuel have you used to pursue them - 100%, 50%, less?

(Fuel means energy, commitment, passion, enthusiasm,

determination)

"If you applied 100% fuel, what do you think the result might be?

(100% 80% 50%?)

"Now, if you applied 200% fuel, you could expect that result to

double?

With your 100% and my 100% as your coach, that is the result we will aim

for.

During this process you may often encounter avoidance excuses.

Challenge these in turn. Many issues may concern finance and the lack of

same.


• Assuring them of confidentiality, ask how much they earn now.

• How long has it taken them to achieve this (how many working

years)

• Ask how much they truly want to earn.

• Provoke incredulity by asking them to double or treble that figure

- put an actual figure on it.

• Expect an avalanche of excuses why that new figure is too high.

• Ask them to imagine that it IS possible for them.

• How would they feel if they had it? What impact would it have?

• Remind them that the Western world is awash with opportunity.

• Remind them that some press reports state that a new

millionaire is created every 12 minutes in Australasia.

• Remind them that the same reports suggest that there are nearly

200,000 millionaires in Australasia.

• Now put their 'incredulous' figure in that perspective.

• Now it seems very modest and achievable.

• Now ask if they want to go for it.

• If they have doubts, hurt more! You have taken x years to achieve

$xx. If you do nothing, you will take another xx years to double

it. Why do you doubt giving it a try?

? Then go into the 'define goal', 'define strategy', 'take action'

sequence.

Use a similar procedure if the issue is weight, health, relationships,

business, career. As soon as possible, define a figure (weight, salary, sick-

days) or percentage (health, happiness, sound relationships). Add a

timescale as above. Break it down into bite-size pieces or elements and

quantify the time and value of each.

With practise, you will become adept at this procedure. As you near the end

of the session time, introduce the notion of a course of sessions. Then

simply ask when they would like to start. Tell them the fee and payment

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arrangements. Get verbal agreement and say that you will confirm this in

writing. (Be sure that you do so and post it the same day as the free

session). Agree that the sessions will begin on (specify date giving their

first payment enough time to clear).

Remember: Rapport, then KISS, TELL, HURT, CONVERT.


Appendix 2

PERSONAL COACHING

A Question of TimeBefore we can consider fees, we need to look at some practicalities.

In common with many other professions, your income is directly related to

your own availability. Coaching is a personal relationship with your clients

and cannot be delegated to others.

This means that your income is limited to your availability.

So how available do you want to be?

To keep it simple, we shall assume that you are operating a full time

personal coaching practice. If you are operating in part-time capacity you

will need to adjust the figures accordingly.

One of the joys of coaching is the freedom that you have to set your own

working hours and schedules but, if you desire a serious professional

income, you should consider an eight-hour day.

This means that you can be available for coaching for 480 minutes per day.

Most personal coaches - but not all - agree that you cannot make much

progress with a client in any session that lasts less than 30 minutes. The

author finds that his concentration begins to wander in sessions that go on

beyond one hour. So he schedules each session for 45 minutes duration.

You of course, will set a period that is most appropriate for your personal

coaching style.


Although the author keeps his records in good order, he allocates 15

minutes prior to the due time for a session to review his case notes and to

mentally ‘tune in’ to the client’s individual issues. He doesn’t record the

sessions but makes copious notes as the dialogue progresses. So he

allows a further 15 minutes at the end of the session to ‘tune out’ by

writing up the client’s case notes from his frantic scribblings made during

the session.

Using this example, you can see that each session actually occupies 75

minutes (15 minutes preparation + 45 minutes coaching + 15 minutes

write-up).

Given 480 minutes of available time and 75 minutes per session it is thus

possible to achieve 6 sessions per day with 30 minutes left over (or built

in) for any over-runs or other unexpected delays.

To summarise your first foundation blockA. Decide how many hours you want to be available each day. (In the

example we selected 8 hours and converted these to 480 minutes.)

B. Decide how long your coaching sessions will be - it is suggested that you

find a figure that you are happy with and stick to it for all your clients.

(In the example we chose 45 minutes.)

C. Decide how much time you need for ‘before and after coaching’

activities. (In the example we had two 15 minute periods.)

D. Add together the total minutes that you come up with for B & C above.

Then divide this into the available minutes at A above and round it down

to the nearest whole number. This will be the maximum number of

sessions that you will run in a day. (In the example we divided 480


available minutes by 75 minutes per session to yield 6 sessions per

day.)

The author finds that four days a week accommodates his maximum

optimum coaching efficiency level. He chooses to keep every Friday free for

practice related tasks (we shall return to these later) and he decided that

his sanity is retained when he keeps Saturday and Sunday free for ‘family

time’.

It is just simple arithmetic to work out that he can accommodate a

maximum of 24 sessions per week. (6 sessions per day x 4 days.)

Take a few minutes right now to plan your ideal week and maximum number

of sessions. Remember, it is only a plan at this stage and you can rework

the figures whenever you wish. Remember too that you do not have to work

a 9 to 5 day. The author is at his best in the early morning and evening, so

he plans sessions between 8 and 12 in the morning and 7 and 11 in the

evening.

There is no compulsion. It is your practice. It is your choice.

Next we consider the number of available weeks in a year and the number

of sessions in a series. This must be done before we can even think about

fees.

Weeks and SeriesAlthough this book concentrates on ‘maximums’, you must allow yourself

some time off. Apart from this need, it makes the calculations easier too!

So, with 52 weeks in a year, let’s say you take two weeks off in summer and

another two weeks around Christmas. This leaves us with 48 weeks in a year.


On the previous page we used an example that showed a maximum

capacity of 24 sessions per week. This means that in a whole year it is

possible, with a full diary, to handle 1152 sessions (24 sessions x 48

weeks). Please don’t panic at these numbers. All will become clear in the

following pages.

Now you don’t need to become a control freak, but, you really will make life

easier for yourself if you have a fixed number of sessions in a series. The

author has found from his own experience and from discussions with other

coaches, that 12 sessions per series is an ideal number. It is incidental,

but, once again, it makes the sums easier.

We just mentioned 1152 sessions a year. Divide this by 12 and it gives us

a rounded down total of 96 series per year. A series will typically represent

a client, so you will be looking to find 96 clients a year.

But let’s inject some practical reality at this stage.

A few clients will want to quit before a series is complete. A few may want

to immediately sign up for a few more weeks. To keep the examples simple

let’s round that down to 90 clients (out of a population of some 22

million!).

When we get to the section about fees we will return to the simplicity angle.

For now, accept that there are some months that have five weeks and

some that have four. This can play havoc with monthly payments by

standing order. The author has therefore invented the ‘constant four week

month’. This doesn’t really affect the example calculations above because

12 months x 4 weeks still gives you 48 weeks.

It is time to summarise your next foundation block.


A. Decide how many weeks you want to work in a year.

B. Decide how many sessions you will have in a series.

C. Divide the total at A by the total at B and round down to the nearest five.

This will tell you how many series (clients) you can accommodate in a

year.

When you are ready, turn the page to discover how to set your fees.

Setting your fees• How much do you want to earn from coaching in a year?

• Be realistic but don’t set your ambitions too low.

• For demonstration purposes, here is another example.

• Suppose you decide that you deserve $48,000 in a year.

Your overheads (the unavoidable costs associated with your practice) are

fairly low in life coaching. Even so, you must make allowances for things

like income tax, national insurance, accountancy fees, advertising and

suchlike.

As we are only playing with hypothetical examples here, let’s assume that

these overheads will account for about one third of your income. To finish

up with $48,000 in your pocket you will need to aim for a third more than

this. So add another $16,000 to give a total of $64,000.

In the last section we calculated that you could conduct a maximum of 90

series in a year. To achieve your target of $64,000 you will be looking at

around $710 per series. ($64,000 divided by 90 series)

If you have 12 sessions in a series, the fee per session is some $60. ($710

divided by 12)


If this amount seems too low to you - and it certainly isn’t too high - you

have several choices…

• You can do the sums again with a lower number of sessions in a

year.

• You can do them again with a higher anticipated annual fee

income.

• You can work a combination of both.

In all three instances, the results are the same. You will come up with a

higher fee per session.

Next we can summarise this foundation block and consider some other

aspects of setting your fees.

Fee setting foundation block

A. Decide how much you want to earn from coaching in a year.

(We used $48,000 as an example.)

B. Add a third of this figure to cover your overheads.

(Our illustration came up with $48,000 + $16,000 = $64,000.)

C. Divide the figure at B by the number of planned series in a year to give

you the ‘fee per series’.

(We calculated $64,000 divided by 90 series to give $710 per series.)

D. Divide the figure at C by the number of sessions in a series to give a

‘fee per session’.

(We came up with $710 per series divided by 12 sessions to get $60 per

session.)


E. Adjust either the number of series, sessions or anticipated fee per year

to come up with an acceptable fee per series.

Time for a break from figuresYou may be wondering why we have ‘gone around the houses’ to work out

your fees like this?

It is deliberate! If you simply take the easy option and say, “I am going to

charge $90 per session” you will become involved in even more

complicated stages of calculation for your year-end totals and may work

yourself to a frazzle for a disappointing income.

When you begin as we have suggested, by working back from your annual

expectations, you can then forget the accumulating income while you are

coaching. You have effective TCB (Takin’ Care of Business) and can focus on

your clients’ needs.

The suggested method also allows you to know exactly how many clients

you will need to have in the year and forces you to consider the

practicalities of providing a service to each of them.

It also offers a simple method of seeing the results if you change one of

the ingredients.

There is clearly no totally right or wrong method. There is just the one that

is right for you. We strongly suggest that you have fun playing with the

figures that we have given, even if you eventually decide to work things out

another way.

So what else determines your fee structure?


Considerations when setting feesSo how do you know, without relying totally on instinct, whether your fee per

session is too high or too low for success?

There are two key variables to consider. Where you operate and who your

preferred clients will be.

It is time to have fun with some research.Make a list of other

professionals in the ethical professions who advertise in your local Yellow

Pages. Look for counsellors, therapists, hypnotists, reflexologists,

chiropractics, osteopaths and suchlike. Telephone a few of them as a

prospective client and see what they charge per session and ask how long

each session lasts.

When the author did this little survey in his own area he soon discovered

that the minimum fee was quoted at $60 per hour, the average was around

$90 and the most expensive was over $120. This suggested the upper and

lower levels that he should be looking at.

Expect a higher charging rate in affluent areas of the country and lower

fees in areas of economic deprivation. Remember that telephone coaching

has no geographic boundaries so, if a high income is your aim, you know

where to focus your promotional activities!

So who do you plan to coach?(If you replied ‘everyone’, go to the back of

the class!)

If you are happy working with students, young people, some pensioners and

people who do not work, you will set your fees low. If you want to work with

professionals, the redundant (before they spend their redundancy pay-off)

or the wealthy retired, then you can anticipate a higher fee structure.


Most practices are established by coaches who begin with people from

their own socio-economic groups. You really must define the category of

your preferred client for, unless you do, you will not enjoy great success in

letting them know about your practice.

Once you have set your fees, the way that you express them and collect

them will also have an impact on your success. So we consider this next.

How To Quote Your FeeDon’t be shy. Forget any false ideas that you may have about your own

worth! You must focus instead on the value of what you do as seen by your

clients and the results that they achieve.

The author always quotes his fees in a ‘price per series of 12 sessions’

and he ensures that this figure cannot be evenly divided by 12. This makes

it difficult for a potential client to translate this into a ‘price per session’ in

his or her head. No, it isn’t sharp practise, it is keeping their mind focused

on the discussion and immediately establishes that you are not discussing

a ‘one session quick fix’.

Never ever give a discount as this devalues your professional status.

If your prospective client wants to bargain a lower fee, then, by quoting a

series price at the outset, you have the option of offering a reduction by

reducing the number of sessions in the series or to spread payment by

having two-weekly instead of weekly sessions.

Never joke about fees and don’t be flippant when discussing them. If you

don’t earn you don’t eat. It is that simple. As a coach, your clients will

expect you to be professional, authoritative and in control.


Lest you think that the author is a mercenary individual, this is an

appropriate place to add that he charges a fee at the top end of the scale

for most of his clients. This gives him the freedom to offer totally free

series to individuals who need coaching but cannot afford to pay anything.

Before we move on, you are strongly recommended to keep your fee

constant for all clients. It makes book-keeping easier. It also avoids a

situation where two clients may meet and discover that one is paying less

than the other.

A final practical note. Once you have established your fees, write them out

and place this ‘price list’ on the wall by your phone or on your desk where

you can instantly refer to it during a discussion.

We are sometimes asked if fees should be quoted in an advertisement or

brochure? The answer is ‘never’ in an advertisement as you want the

prospective client to contact you for more details. As for brochures, this is

entirely your call. Some coaches do, some coaches don’t. Some coaches

have two versions, one with and one without fees.

The author doesn’t. In his own promotional material he indicates strongly

that he is ‘expensive’ and then immediately puts this into the context of

value. You are advised to always talk in terms of value and benefits when

you are discussing or quoting fees.

So the client accepts your quoted fee. Turn the page to discover how to get

paid.

How To Get PaidOne of the many great benefits of the life coaching profession is that you

don’t have to expend energy, time or cost on chasing bad debts. You simply


SAMPLE

COACHING AGREEMENT AND CHARGESClient Name: ________________________________________________________

Address: ________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

Fees: (Insert Fees)

Payment: Monthly in advance

Sessions per mth: 2 / 4 / just in time (please circle)

Schedule: (Insert Times & Dates)

Procedure: Client will call the coach at pre-arranged times.

Changes: Re-scheduling or cancellations of appointments should be doneat least 48 hours before planned date.

Extra Time: You may email or call me between scheduled sessions if youneed urgent advice, have a problem or want to share a successwith me.

Problems: If I ever say or do anything in a session that you don’t feelcomfortable with, or if you have any concern with the way we areworking, please let me know as soon as possible. For our worktogether to be effective, you have to be honest with me.

Termination: Because of the time, scope and nature of my work, my policy isthat the initial term is 3 months, thereafter it will be on a monthby month basis. After the initial 3 months is up the client maycancel at any time - it must be in writing (email, fax or letter). Inthe event there is money owed at the time of cancellation, fullpayment will become due immediately.

Confidentiality: The coach recognises that anything the client shares with themis regarded confidential, whether it is business or personalinformation. The coach undertakes not to, at any time, eitherdirectly or indirectly use or disclose any information the clientshares with them during their sessions.

Nature of Coaching: The client is aware that the coaching is in no way to be construedas psychological counselling or any type of therapy. Coachingresults are not guaranteed. The client enters into the coachingwith the full understanding that they are responsible for creatingtheir own results.

Client has read and agreed the above

Client: __________________________________ Date: ____________________________

Coach: __________________________________ Date: ____________________________


establish your practice procedures so that everyone pays in advance.

Here is the method that the author uses. You are, of course, free to adapt

or modify this to suit your own particular method of working and accounting.

At the start of this book he mentioned his ‘standard four week month’.

All clients are invited to pay by monthly Standing Order, in advance. (There

is still a reluctance in some people to trust the Direct Debit process. With

a Standing Order your bank does all the work. With a Direct Debit you have

to remember to ask for the payment.)

If a client resists Standing Order arrangements, you might suggest a series

of monthly post-dated cheques or credit card details. In both cases you are

avoiding the need for repeated billings or reminders which take your time

and which have been known to give clients second thoughts about continuing.

To avoid the monthly amount fluctuating, the author uses a four-week month.

This means that the fee for the series of 12 is simply divided by three and

that is the amount of the standing order.

If there is a five-week month the client is ‘given a week off’ to do some

simple assigned tasks that will move him or her closer to their goals. This

is usually called a consolidation session.

If the client decides that a further series of sessions will be beneficial, then

the Standing Order is simply allowed to run. If the client decides to quit

before the end of the series, he or she just cancels the Standing Order.

Yes! It really is that easy!

Here are a couple of practical tips.Always make every Standing Order

arrangement for the same date of the month. (Say, for example the 5th.)

This makes checking your bank statements and accounts very much easier


and you always know when your account will receive an injection of funds.

Also, do have a separate account for your practice and keep payments and

withdrawals purely for your practice activities. If you or your accountant

have to wade through a single combined personal and business account, it

will cost time and money to filter out all the shopping payments to your

local supermarket or favourite shop.

In general, avoid credit cards. You will not serve your clients’ best interests

by encouraging them to get into debt. It costs you money to accept credit

cards too.

The author keeps every Friday clear for practice related tasks. We promised

earlier that we would return to these. Now seems like a good time to do so.

Practice Related TasksUnless you are a naturally fastidious and tidy person, you may find that your

room or office where you do your coaching can rapidly resemble a paper

recycling plant.

Here are a few of the tasks that must be done on a regular basis to ensure

that you ‘coach from a clear space’, both literally and figuratively speaking.

"Ensure that case-notes from the previous week have been written

up.

"Maintain summaries of client calls, times, durations and special

notes.

"Check diary for following week’s calls ensuring no conflict with

personal diary.

"Enter all expenditure and income so that you can easily check off

bank statements.

"Check your bank statements very, very carefully.


"Plan your promotional activities for the week ahead - and then

make them happen.

"Review and update your personal goals.

"Take ‘alone-time’ for yourself - discover the refreshing power of

meditation.

"Keep up to date with the media regarding personal development

and coaching news.

"Read inspirational books, listen to motivational tapes.

"Give yourself regular small rewards.

"Deal with any outstanding correspondence or bills.

"Clean all surfaces and equipment.

"Check that all equipment is in good order.

"Get in touch with past clients to check their progress.

The author finds that he can happily spend every Friday playing with these

and similar tasks. Because he works a four-week month, he even has a

‘bonus’ week off every so often and uses much of it on tasks like these.

This keeps everything in a state of total readiness.

A useful tip is to avoid flat paper. As soon as you place a piece of paper

on a surface it will attract another, and another, and so on. Soon you will

have a pile. Piles are painful and debilitating. Use filing cabinets, drawers,

boxes etc. to keep papers on edge. The problem won’t arise and you will

keep at the cutting edge of your professional chores.


Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 11 - RUNNING YOUR PRACTICE AS ABUSINESS



Week 12

MARKETING YOURCOACHING SKILLS


Version 2011/1

PreviewIf you do not have any clients, you do not have a coaching practice, you

have a dream. To turn your dream into reality you must let people know that

you exist and that you are open for business.

Marketing means using a series of techniques and procedures to heighten

awareness of you and your profession and to stimulate the public's desire

to find out more. In marketing jargon, this is sometimes termed turning a

'suspect' into a 'prospect'. Marketing should not be confused with selling,

which is a subsequent stage where you convert a 'prospect' into a 'client'.

You are about to discover fifteen of the most powerful, yet surprisingly

simple, marketing tools that have been proven to grow professional

practices like yours.

Your practice is a business.As a life coach, you are a professional person. One of the distinctions

between professions and trades is that a professional operates a practice

and a tradesman operates a business, so always refer to your life coaching

activities as your own practice whenever you speak or write about it. But,

when you think about it, remember always that it is a business too and

must be run like one.

A practice or business is just a dream until it has a client and finding clients

is probably the major fear or concern of all newly accredited coaches. The

good news is that it need not be difficult when you follow a plan, especially

if that plan has been proven to work many times over.

Marketing Your Coaching Skills Page 466

Week 12MARKETING YOUR COACHING SKILLS

Life coaching is of value and benefit to everyone and this has created a

positive cycle to help you. Coaching is already regularly featured in the

media and the frequency of mentions seems to be increasing with every

month that passes. As more people become aware of coaching, more want

to try it for themselves. This means that they need to seek out their own

life coach and, when you are proactive in your marketing, you will be the

one that they select. Then word of mouth recommendations begin and very

soon, you will build your practice.

In these pages, you will find the top fifteen ways of marketing your practice.

There are hundreds of marketing initiatives that you can explore later but,

for now, focus on how you can use or adapt these fifteen for your own

purposes. Every one of them has a value and that value is enhanced when

they are combined or integrated. Follow these suggestions and you will be

successful. None are expensive and some are free. They are simple to

apply.

Networking.In marketing your coaching practice, 'networking' has nothing to do with

'network marketing', which is something totally different and related to

MLM trading.

The majority of coaches gain their clients through personal contact and

networking means establishing and maintaining contact and then talking to

these people about life coaching. This means that you must be able to

explain clearly, what life coaching is. You must be able to do this or your

contact will be confused and may misunderstand you.

Create and practise your own elevator speech. This is a simple explanation

about coaching and its benefits that lasts no longer than 20 seconds. It is

called an elevator speech because you will typically wait 20 seconds for an


elevator (or lift in the UK) and the journey will probably last the same length of

time. So, if someone asks you about coaching while you are both waiting for,

or riding in, an elevator - that is how long you will have to deliver your

informative and exciting description.

You need to talk about life coaching wherever you go because everyone,

without exception, can benefit from your services. Once you have started

the conversation, people will soon expand it by talking about their favourite

subject, which is themselves. Beware of being drawn into an impromptu

mini-coaching session there and then. Use this initial dialogue as your

golden opportunity to book a free introductory session at a later date by

telephone.

An important aspect of personal contact is your own image. Take a good

look at yourself and the way that you stand and speak. Are you someone

that you would want to be coached by? Make sure that you have an easy

and non-confrontational manner so that people feel comfortable in your

company. If they are not comfortable with you, they will not become your

clients. Remember, you are a professional so dress, act and speak like

one.

Now turn to Activity 1 to create your own elevator speech.

Business Cards.You must have business cards. You must carry them with you at all times

and you must give them to people. They will do nothing for growing your

practice if you leave them at home in a drawer.

Your cards need not be expensive but you are advised to avoid the 'print

your own' machines that are found in shopping malls and railway stations.

They look like what they are and that is not professional.


Your cards must say who you are and what you do in a clear, professional

and straightforward manner. At the absolute minimum is must have your

name, say what you do (Professional Life Coach) and how you can be

contacted. There is no need for fancy graphics, full colour, or your

photograph but, by all means include them if you want to. These extras will

add cost. You may find that your card will work better for you if you opt for

putting your mission statement or the offer of a free introductory sessionon

the reverse of the card.

Some coaches worry about creating a business name and a logo. There is

no need. In some instances having your own name AND a business name

can actually confuse potential clients. Your own name is quite good

enough, after all, you are offering your personal services.

Become an avid business card collector too. Exchanging cards is a useful

way of breaking the ice and opens up opportunities for you to tell each

other what you do. Check your own cards regularly to weed out any that

have become slightly grubby or dog-eared or where you have scribbled a

reminder to yourself on them. It is a useful networking ploy to follow up with

a telephone call within a week of receiving a new business card from

someone else, just to say how much you enjoyed meeting them at whatever

venue or event it was. Avoid giving them a hard sell for your services, but

just remind them who you are, what you do and enquire if you can help

them. Please turn to Activity 2.

Public Relations.Public Relations (PR) is the name given to the series of activities that get

you and your practice featured in the media - the press, radio and

television. The easiest medium to get into is your local newspaper. Try

telephoning them, ask for the Features Editor, tell them who you are and

what you do and, if you are lucky, they may even interview you there and


then over the telephone.

The more normal approach is to use a press release. This is simply a story

about yourself and the benefits of coaching that you mail out to the editors

of newspapers and radio or television stations. The key to success is to

find a news angle, like a major new client (ask their permission first!), an

anniversary, a new project, or a new qualification that you have achieved.

The aim here is to get your foot in their door and to arouse their interest.

The next step is when they call you back for more information or to fix an

interview date.

A bad press release is worse than none at all and will not be used. If it is

just an advertisement for your services it will only achieve one thing - a

telephone call inviting you to buy paid for advertising. A well-crafted press

release can be the best 'free' advertising of all. The Academy can put you

in touch with a professional PR man who is also a life coach and who offers

significant discounts for our graduates.

One graduate recently used a press release provided by The Academy. A

reporter from their local newspaper telephoned and arranged to visit their

house with a photographer. The resultant interview was printed across the

centre pages of the 'Business Section'. The local radio station manager

read the interview and contacted the coach. The coach asked for, and was

granted permission to tape his discussion with the presenter and now uses

that tape to send to potential clients as a promotion for his services and

confirmation of his credibility. The broadcast was heard by an executive at

a local company who invited the coach to do a presentation to his staff. He

was paid for this. His outlay had been a simple press release and a first

class stamp.

The national newspapers and magazines can be more difficult to get into,

but by no means impossible. It takes persistence, patience and


professionalism. For optimum benefits you need your contact details

included in any article that results. The way to encourage them to feature

this is to offer a 'free coaching session, exclusively for your readers' (or

even for a journalist at the paper or magazine). A story in the national press

with your telephone number included, can have your phone ringing off the

hook and a full appointment diary within 24 hours!

If you have a website and this address is also featured, readers can

discover more about you before they telephone. This turns them from the

'lukewarm leads' who read your article to 'very warm leads' who have

visited your site. You have grabbed their interest and the rest is up to you.

Whenever you have had something printed about you or your practice, make

lots of good quality photocopies at your High Street print shop and send

them out with your promotional material (but NOT with your press releases).

Keep the originals, along with the masthead of the paper or cover of the

magazine, in a portfolio that you can show people with pride. A book

containing clear plastic pockets as pages will fit the bill well and without

breaking the bank.


Advertising.Advertising is sometimes unkindly described as 'buying a hole in a page

and pouring money into it'. Without very careful consideration you can

spend a small fortune and gain very little -if anything - in return.

Even so, advertising can work to help you build your practice. Think about

who your potential clients are and what they are interested in. If this seems

difficult, think of them as being people who are like you and who share your

interests. The whole point here is to advertise in places where these


people are going to see and respond to your advertisement.

Some coaches have built their entire practice by gaining permission to

display a tasteful and professional notice at a local health club or

gymnasium. Members of these places usually have an interest in their own

development and the disposable income to pursue it. Life coaching fits

perfectly into their lifestyle and aspirations. Sports clubs and special

interest organisations offer similar opportunities.

Never, ever allow yourself to be talked into buying expensive display

advertising at 'rate card' rates. There is no proof that a big advertisement

works any better than a small one. Think small, think classified and think

personal columns. Extensive research proves that response increases with

the frequency of an advertisement appearing. You may get little response

to your first classified advertisement, but, when you repeat it a week later,

there will be more interest. This increases for the third and fourth weeks

and then tails off. Rest it for a week or two and then repeat the cycle with

another expected upsurge of response.

Readers may read your advertisement in week one but do nothing. The next

week they see it again and plan to call you - but forget. Next week they do

actually call. Some will even leave it a month and then remember seeing

your ad. and they will positively look for it so that they can get in touch.

You do not have to think local. If you offer telephone coaching you can

advertise your services anywhere in the world and provide a beneficial and

professional coaching service. One of the most powerful words in advertising

is 'Free'. Think about what you could offer readers as an inducement to call

you. Then turn to Activity 4.

Joint Ventures.


Joint ventures offer an effective and virtually free way of gaining that most

valuable marketing edge of all, word of mouth recommendation.

Sometimes called a strategic alliance, your joint venture simply means

teaming up with someone in a non-competing but related practice and

cross-referring clients. If, for example, you have an acquaintance who is a

hypnotherapist (or aromatherapist, or reflexologist, or reiki practitioner and

so on) and has been in practice for some time, they have a database or list

of loyal clients.

You simply write a letter as if it was coming from your acquaintance and

mail it out to their clients. In return, you allow them access to your own list

of prospects and clients. Do beware of falling into the trap of creating and

distributing junk mail and observe the ethical rules of confidentiality and

professionalism. You can arrange similar alliances with, for example, local

garages, dentists, and management consultants. The key to success is to

give as good as you get and to be a partner not a user. Please turn now to

Activity 5.

Public Speaking.This marketing method is not only free, but you may even be paid for doing

it!

Nearly every town has several membership organisations where a public

speaker is invited to give a presentation at one of their monthly meetings.

Some are charitable organisations and others have a business or specific

professional base. They provide you with a captive audience so tell them

about life coaching and captivate them.

Because life coaching is so interesting, every person in your audience will

be able to relate to what you are saying and will feel that you are talking to


them personally and individually.

When you have gained confidence from giving one or two presentations

where you just talk about coaching and its benefits in general terms, you

can progress to one of the most powerful marketing presentational devices

- by giving a live demonstration with a member of the audience as your

client. (Hint:- Arrange with someone beforehand that they will 'volunteer' if

everyone else is too shy to come forward) You can expect a queue of

people waiting for a 'quiet word' with you as soon as you finish. Offer them

a free trial session in the next few weeks and then take it from there.

Trade shows offer another useful platform but the major ones at venues

like London Olympia or the NEC can be prohibitively expensive unless you

are able to share the costs with some colleagues but, of course, you do

not have to book stand space in order to offer your services to the

organisers as a workshop speaker in one of their seminar theatres. If you

do book a stand, opt for 'space only' deals and beware of hidden extras

like compulsory public liability insurance, the use of power points and

fascia boards.

Target shows and exhibitions that attract people with an interest in training

and development. You may even get some useful contacts at the smaller

'Mind, Body, Spirit' shows that tour the country on a regular basis.

A final word on public speaking … the more you do it, the easier it becomes

and the better you get at it. Never vanish as soon as you have finished,

always make time to speak to every person who wants to talk with you -

and sign them up for a free trial coaching session. Please turn to Activity

6.

Leaflets and brochures.


You MUST have something to give to people. A simple leaflet, printed on

one side of an A5 sheet can be cheap to create and reproduce. It can be

mailed out, pinned on club or work notice boards (always seek permission

first!) and given to anyone who asks. So, always carry them in your pocket,

handbag, or car. You never know when a great opportunity will arise.

One step up from a leaflet is your brochure. This can be a single sheet of A4

size, it can be folded to give six pages (a tri-fold) or you can really let your

imagination run wild and create an entire information pack. You need to spell

out the benefits of coaching, the areas that you specialise in, and how it

happens. You must clearly include your contact details and you will gain a

greater response if you give a few background notes about who you are and

where you are coming from. Please turn to Activity 7.

Websites and the internet.Beware! Having your own website can be very expensive and it can be a

total waste of money. Most people 'surf the net' for information rather than

to buy a product or service.

You can create and display a website totally free and the host recovers the

costs by surrounding every page with banner advertisements that people

have paid for. You have no control over what is advertised and it is best to

avoid this temptation. If an offer seems too good to be true, it usually is.

You can register your domain name (website address) and create a site for

well under $400 or, you can add as many noughts as you like and can

afford.

No site at all is better than a bad one. A good one is easy to find, it loads

quickly, it avoids flashy moving images and dazzling patterns, it is easy to

navigate and it is, above all, informative. It must also be updated regularly

otherwise you will not get repeat visitors or 'hits'.

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The most expensive website in the world will not work for you if people do

not know that it exists. This means you must promote it at every

opportunity in your advertisements, brochure, business card, letterheads

and anywhere else that you can think of. If you DO have one, then ask

telephone enquirers if they have access to the web and invite them to

check out your site for more information. If people express surprise that

you do not have one, explain gently that your service is so personal and

confidential and that you prefer to discuss your services by telephone or

face-to-face, 'just like we are doing right now'.

If you have a computer, then do register an email address. This service is

available free from many 'providers' and each email that you send or receive

is just the cost of a local telephone call. This can be a value added item in

your marketing strategy… 'the fee includes unlimited email contact between

sessions' …and, of course, you can access your emails at times that are

convenient to you. Take a look at Activity 8.

Developing your client list.This is your opportunity for some wide angle thinking and an extension of

networking.

Who do you know? Previous employers and work colleagues, friends of

friends, other business people that you deal with regularly and so on.

Suppose the person who prints your brochure has several staff. He

probably already knows something about you from your brochure and any

discussions that you have had about it. Offer him and his staff some

complimentary sessions and explain how life coaching can improve

productivity and training. What about the garage that services your car?

How about the manager of your favourite supermarket? Why not contact

your previous employers with a similar offer? This is all marketing and it is

all totally free.


GoogleEnsure you have an Adwords campaign but beware it can be expensive!!!

Do you belong to any professional associations, unions, or organisations

outside the coaching specialties? If you are now, or ever have been a

member, why not take an active role. You will be amazed at how soon you

can become that organisation's expert on life coaching with opportunities

to promote your practice and coaching benefits in the pages of their

magazine, journal or at regional meetings. Please turn to Activity 9.

Writing a book or report.Writing a book is not as daunting as it sounds! If you can talk, you can write

and a 200-page book at a page a day will take well under a year to write.

There is even a distance learning course on 'How to write a book on

anything in 14 days or less'.

As an author you gain immediate credibility as an expert in your field. You can

gain as much fame as you can handle but, more importantly, you will have an

incredible marketing tool. Take copies along to any presentation that you give.

It is a fact that audience members always want more than a speaker can give

- so they will be eager to buy copies of your book at the back of the room. Offer

copies to magazine editors as prizes in reader competitions. One coach who

did this in a national newspaper had 1000 replies. Enough of these were

converted into paying clients to fill every slot in that coach's appointment book

and there will still some left to refer to other coaches. As a published author

you can command higher coaching fees too.


If you are not ready for that book just yet, think about creating a special

and exclusive report. It can be as long or as short as you want it to be.

People love something for nothing, so imagine the pulling power when you

feature in your advertisement and promotional material, 'Your free report

How coaching can benefit you and your organisation is waiting for you -

please telephone now'. When they phone you can find out more about them

and they about you. Always follow up within a week of sending out the

report. If they have asked for it, they will certainly read it, so be sure to

spell out what they must do next… 'call today to book your free trial

session'.

A report does not need glossy covers, full colour, or fancy graphics. A few

pages of good and practical information, photocopied and stapled in one

corner will do the trick. Please turn to Activity 10.

Your own newsletter.If you can create a report (and you can!), then the next stage is a

newsletter - either printed or distributed by email. You can send it out free

or you can charge a subscription, the choice is yours. Your mailing list is

made up of everyone who has ever enquired about your services, whether

they became clients or not, everyone that you have collected a business

card from, everyone that you send your brochure to - when your newsletter

is a valuable 'free' bonus.

Some potential clients can take months before they decide to hire your

coaching services. If they receive a monthly or quarterly newsletter of

news, success stories and life tips you will be keeping your name and

contact details before them at regular intervals. You know it makes

marketing sense. When they are ready for coaching, you will be the coach

that they contact. It can be time consuming to create a newsletter on a

regular basis so do not be too ambitious by planning an eight page epic on


a weekly basis. Some recipients may see weekly as an annoyance so a

monthly publication is recommended with a quarterly issue as an

alternative. Please turn to Activity 11.

Join professional organisations.Be a dedicated joiner of professional organisations, clubs, societies and

associations. As a newcomer, you may well be invited to address a meeting

to introduce yourself, your services and your practice. What a golden

opportunity. It is just too good to miss. Moreover, after what has possibly

been a rather staid and boring collection of presentations by mundane

professionals, the sheer novelty and brilliance of life coaching will be seen

and accepted as a wonderful new and fascinating topic.

You will make valuable new contacts for your personal network but look

upon these as a fringe benefit. As with so much in life, you have to be seen

to give before you can reasonably expect to receive. Please turn to Activity

12.

Niche marketing.Who are you going to coach? If your answer is 'everyone', you can still build a

successful practice and will be commended on accepting the concept of no

limitations. But, most coaches who enjoy spectacular success, will never give

this answer.

They will have identified their own market niche or specialty according to

their own background, experience and expertise. A coach who already

teaches presentation skills will become a 'Presentation Coach', if you are

into management consultancy you can become a 'Per formance

Improvement Coach', if your thing is education, then you can become 'The

Academics' Coach'. You get the picture.


You can identify your niche by the types of issues that you want to

specialise in. You could become a 'Relationship Coach', a 'Stress

Management Coach' or even, 'A Career Coach'.

Perhaps you have contacts in the prison service, local authorities or health

trusts. The people who work in such organisations tend to favour using the

services of someone who can demonstrate a similar background and

experience. So, if you have an understanding of public sector ethos and

operating methods, this is the niche to go for.

You know your strengths, background and interests. In marketing terms,

brand yourself accordingly and brand your clients. Become a specialist. A

prospective client will usually be drawn to a specialist rather than a general

practitioner. You will soon get to know the major

players in your specialist field and, more importantly, they will soon get to

know - and to recommend - you. Please turn to Activity 13.

Testimonials.Testimonials from satisfied clients are among the most powerful tools in

your portfolio of marketing skills. They are very nearly (but not quite) as

good as word of mouth recommendations but they tend to have a longer

shelf life.

A testimonial is simply what someone else has said, and put in writing,

about you. You could say it yourself but would sound egocentric. When

someone else says great things about you, they will be believed. They have

paid money, they have used your services, they have benefited, they have

trusted you, they have worked with you, they are proof of your capabilities.

There are some absolute essentials concerning testimonials. The originals


must be kept safely in case you ever need to prove their authenticity. They

must be signed and dated for the same reason and, to prevent any

comebacks at a later date, you are advised to ask the person giving them,

to confirm in writing, that you have their permission to use them for your

promotional purposes. Always respect the confidentiality of your clients,

even to the extent of limiting their identity to initials and county name when

you use their glowing comments in your advertising or on your website. The

most effective testimonials are those that are phrased in very general

terms. By all means mention a specific issue if it will help, but do not let a

testimonial drag on into a case study.


You get a testimonial by asking for it. Whenever a client says something

nice to you after a particularly beneficial coaching session, ask if they

would mind putting their remarks in writing for you. Most will agree. Please

take a look at Activity 14.

Referrals.Referrals are a more direct form of testimonial and akin to word of mouth

recommendation.

At the end of a series of coaching sessions - and not before - you ask your

client if they can give you the names and contact details of six friends,

colleagues, relatives or associates who might gain a similar benefit by

using your services. Then you ask permission to contact them with the

offer of a free coaching session, using your clients' names as a means of

getting your foot in the door. When you ask for six, you may get two. If you

ask for two, you may get none and, your client might feel that they have let

you down. You do not want this to happen.

Referrals and testimonials must be willingly given. You must never apply

pressure to your clients in order to get them. When you do contact and

referrals, do so with sensitivity - you are putting your clients'

professionalism and reputation on the line, as well as your own.

Your marketing plan.A good marketing plan which will incorporate all, or some, of the above

suggestions, will help you grow your practice rapidly. The cost of your time

should be recovered many times over. Decide which procedures you are

going to use, and when. Monitor your results. Use more of the techniques

that work and adapt or modify those that do not work for you, and then try

them again.


Decide how much money you are going to invest in marketing your practice

- initially think in terms of spending between two percent and five percent

of your anticipated annual turnover.

When a client misses an appointment and you have an hour on your hands,

use it to launch the next phase of your marketing strategy. You have a

choice. You can play solitaire and get depressed or you can play the

marketing game and get clients. Right now, make the choice to turn to

Activity 15.

Summary.In this module, you have been provided with an introduction to some of the

most powerful marketing techniques that have been used and proven by

many life coaches and other professionals. They are all ethical and honest

and they all have the potential to help you grow your practice in quantum

leaps, especially when you combine several of them for simultaneous

application.

Go to the business section of your library or bookstore and browse through

the titles on marketing. Just reading the books will not grow your practice,

but the diligent application of what you learn, will do so.

If you have not already worked through the Activities when invited to do so,

then please turn to them now. If you are not actively marketing your

practice, those potential clients will pass you by and choose a coach who

is into active marketing.


Activity 1

You have 20 seconds to deliver your elevator speech. It MUST grab

attention at the outset, it MUST state clearly what you do and the benefits

that your clients enjoy, it MUST NOT ramble or bore and it MUST include an

opportunity for the listener to know how to contact you.

You will find it useful to have a tape recorder to help you time your elevator

speech. Use the rest of this sheet - including the other side if you need to,

to draft your personal elevator speech. Check that it includes each of the

above essentials then read it aloud to tape for a timing check. Make any

necessary changes and repeat until it lasts exactly 20 seconds. Refine it

again and then commit it to memory.

Useful tip. If you begin, 'I am a life coach' you may not get much response.

If you begin, 'I make dreams come true' or 'I am a people magician' you

will immediately attract attention. (Please use your own phrases). Return to

the theme right at the end, for instance, '…and that is how I make dreams

come true' or, '…and that is how I create magic'.

Write your elevator speech now.


Activity 2

Use the rest of this page to design your own business card. Keep it simple,

standard size and easy to read. Find other cards that you have been given

and select the designs that especially appealed to you - and copy them.

Useful tip. Remember that a business card has two sides. When you have

a design that pleases you, check it for accuracy and completeness. You can

do this now. As soon as the shops open, visit the local printers in your area

and get some quotes and samples of their work. The more you order at one

time, the cheaper the cost-per-card. Think of 500 as a minimum quantity -

then give them away! They will not, and cannot work for you if you leave

them in that cute little box that they are delivered in or, worse, in your desk

drawer.


Activity 3

Write a press release for your practice here. Keep it to one side of A4, say

250 words maximum. Do this now. Tomorrow, make it your mission to find

the names and contact details of all the local newspapers in your area or

county. Get the names of the Features Editors. Then send your press

release to them, with a simple and brief covering letter.

Useful tip. Never be tempted to send a blatant advert masquerading as a

press release. Editors can spot these at 1000 paces and will simply pass

your stuff over to the ad sales department. Do not pester editors by asking

if they received your release. They will let you know if they plan to use it.


Activity 4

Use the rest of this page to write and design your own A5 handbill. Then

write a brief classified ad for your practice. Get quotations for printing the

handbill and for classified advertising space from each of the local

newspapers that you listed at Activity Three.

Useful tip. KISS - Keep It Simple Sunshine!


Activity 5

List at least 20 local organisations that you could approach as a joint venture.

Draft a letter on your practice letterhead that you could invite them to send out

to their clients.

Useful tip. Remember to answer 'What's In It For Me' and think of what you

will offer that is of at least equal value.

Here is an example:- (on your joint venture partners headed paper!)

Dear [client name]

I recently met [your name] who runs a successful life coaching

practice right here in [town]

Life coaching is a simple and effective process, conducted by telephone

and designed to help you identify your goals in life and to achieve them

far faster than you ever thought possible. [your first name] has agreed

that I can offer some of my selected clients a totally free introductory

coaching session, as a way of thanking you for your custom.

This is your opportunity to find out more about life coaching and to

experience it first hand for no cost and with no obligation.

The only restriction is that [your first name] has asked me to stress

that this offer is limited until the end of [next month] and, because

his [or her] practice is thriving, must be on a 'first come basis'.

Please call [your first name] on [your phone number] for a quick

chat and to fix the appointment for your free coaching session. I

know that you will be glad that you did.

Yours truly

[Your venture partner name and job title]


Activity 6

On both sides of this sheet, expand your 20 second elevator speech

(Activity 1) into a 30 minute presentation.

Useful tip. Consider six x five-minute segments. Start with an introduction.

Then develop the theme for the next three segments - list key word subjects

or topics for each one - use the fifth segment to describe some real life

benefits and the last one to leave the audience on a high.

Research and list at least ten local organisations that you could approach

to offer your speaking services.


Activity 7

Over the next few days, collect as many leaflets and brochures as you can

- from other professional practices. See which ones work for you and which

ones do not. Look and learn. Close your eyes for a few minutes and

visualise (imagine) the size, shape, colour and feel of your own brochure.

Plan each page on the rest of this sheet.

Useful tip. Think black ink to keep costs down. To add colour, talk to your

local printer about using coloured paper. Listen and ask. Shop around for

printing quotes - prices vary alarmingly and the most costly is not always

the best.


Activity 8

If you do not have a computer you can go straight to Activity 9.

Look at a range of websites. Decide which work for you and which do not.

Return to the ones that pleased you and note the features that they

included. Then think of the reasons for having a website of your own. List

them here.

Use the internet to do some comparison window shopping for prices of

domain registration, website hosting and design.

If you already have email, register a new name (keep it simple) that you use

exclusively for coaching clients.

If you don't, check out the various free email providers. (Yahoo is a good

place to start.) Sign up today.

Useful tip. Be sure that you compare like with like.


Activity 9

Use the rest of this page to list at least 30 people that you could contact

in the next seven days. Then just do it!


Activity 10

Decide when you are going to write your book.

Put the start date here.

Put the completion date here.

Define the titles for three 'free reports' that you could write. Start writing

the first one now.


Activity 11

Think about your newsletter.

How often will you publish - monthly or quarterly?

How will you publish - paper, email or both?

Will it be free? If not, what price?

List 50 people to send it to.

When will you send out the first issue?


Activity 12

List five professional organisations that you could join…

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________


Activity 13

Define a niche, by activity, that you could coach…

Define the issues that you would like to specialise in…

Define the trades or industry that you could specialise in…


Activity 14

Collect testimonials used by other professionals. Use the best as a basis

for the construction and format of those you would like to receive. From this

point in, ask for testimonials whenever a client says something nice about

you.

Useful tip. Read your junk mail when it arrives, see how the sender uses

testimonials.


Activity 15

Use the rest of this page to define your personal marketing plan. Then

follow it!


Appendix 1

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SALES ANDMARKETING AND WHY THIS MATTERS TO YOU

"Although they are often linked together, sales and marketing are two

different disciplines and your success depends upon giving equal

attention to each.

"There are hundreds of text books on each subject. Check out your local

library or book shop and choose the ones that appeal to you.

"The disciplines should be reversed. Marketing comes before sales.

"Marketing means stimulating the demand for a service.

"Sales means filling that demand for a fee.

"Marketing can include advertising, brochures, mail shots, word-of-mouth

recommendation, press-releases, articles, appearing on radio or TV

interview programmes, exhibiting at trade-shows.

"Marketing is to let the public know that your service exists AND that you

can provide that service.

"Sales is converting a member of the public into a client.

"The sales process follows clearly defined steps:-

A member of the public shows interest and becomes a suspect.

You respond to that interest and your suspect becomes a prospect.

You follow up that response and convert the prospect into a client.

You provide such great benefits that the client becomes a regular.


"Note that some ethical practices do not serve their clients' best

interests by having them return for repeated treatments or therapies. In

these instances, those clients can still become 'regulars' when you have

a supply of well priced books, tapes or practice related products to sell

to them.


Appendix 2

THE VITAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN AN ORDINARYBUSINESS AND A PROFESSIONAL PRACTICE

"Tradesmen learn a skill which they sell for a price. This is a typical

business.

"Professionals learn a skill which they offer for a fee.

"Businesses include shops, hairdressers, builders, mechanics,

decorators, plumbers, carpenters and artisans.

"Professionals include doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, authors,

musicians, and individuals in private practice.

"A practice can also be a business but a business can never be a

practice.

"In a typical business the customer calls the shots.

"In a professional practice the practitioner decides the appointments, the

working hours and the services provided.

"Public perception of a business may be 'a man with a van'.

"Public perception of a practice may be 'a lady or gentleman of

distinction'.

"Businesses have customers who will often haggle over a price and win a

discount or special offer. An individual in business will usually be invited

to use the 'tradesman entrance'.


"Practices have clients who rarely question a fee and will not seek discounts.

An individual in professional practice will usually be invited to enter via the

front door.

"Speak and act like a tradesman and you will be treated as one.

"Speak, think and act as a professional and you will be treated as one.

"A professional in private practice is never seen in public in anything less

than immaculate presentation.


Appendix 3

THE IMPORTANCE OF CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIPMANAGEMENT (CRM) AND HOW TO USE IT

"Rethink CRM to mean Client Relationship Management.

"CRM means establishing a relationship with your client that goes beyond

responding to a simple request for your professional services.

"CRM means getting on first name terms with your client as soon as it is

polite to do so and when both you and your client are comfortable with

this.

"CRM means knowing more about your client than you strictly 'need' to

know to deliver your service.

"CRM means making your client feel important, listening to their views

and opinions, learning what makes them tick.

"CRM means that a client can develop into an acquaintance or even a

friend.

"A client who is an acquaintance will want you to succeed and will want to help

you.

"This client will recommend your services as a friend, to a friend.

"This client will return for practice related products or additional services.

"This client will pay promptly.


"This client will rarely complain. If you do give cause for complaint, deal

with it fairly and calmly. A client who receives this treatment can be

expected to be even more loyal than one who has never complained.

"Although exact figures vary, it is generally reckoned that it can cost up to

20 times more to create a new client than to retain an existing one. CRM

helps you to retain your clients.

"CRM means treating your clients as you would expect to be treated when

you are a client of someone else.


Appendix 4

The benefits and methods of optimum exposure within your professional

association

"Your own profession will almost certainly have an association, club,

organisation or institute. (If they don't, then you could start one!)

"It is surprisingly easy to become an 'active' member - this means giving

up a little of your time to attend meetings.

"Once 'active' it is equally easy to become a member of a working party,

steering group, sub-committee.

"Once there it is equally easy to become a leading player or chairman of

such a group.

"This makes you stand out beyond those 'others' who may have equal or

better qualifications but who never do anything.

"The name of this game is 'kudos'. In return for a little of your free time

you will receive professional recognition from your peers.

"You will also gain an additional professional 'qualification' (Chair of the

whatever group in the Institute of Profession) which can swing a prospect

in your favour if the other contenders lack such distinction.

"Rather than attempting to be all things within the organisation, identify a niche

which interests you. If this is fairly obscure you can become the 'expert' in very

little time. Then you may be called upon to deliver a service for a fee when the

need arises.


"If you have been a member for some time, consider upgrading to

Fellowship. The often small incremental increase in your subscription will

bestow additional kudos.

"Raise your profile by submitting regular articles to the organisation's

magazine or newsletter. (If they don't have one, start one.)

"The objective here is not personal ego satisfaction. It is adding implied

value for your prospective clients.


Appendix 5

THE MERITS AND DEMERITS OF A WEBSITE ANDHOW TO MAKE THESE WORK FOR YOU

"A bad website is worse than having no website at all.

"A bad website is one that takes a long time to load and is difficult to

navigate. A bad website is one that will not work properly on a prospect's

computer which may be less than 'state of the art'.

"A bad website is rarely updated so repeat visitors don't see anything

new.

"Any website will cost you money to set up and maintain. How many

clients will it need to create to recover this cost?

"A good website has an address that is easy to remember and quick to

type in.

"A good website is based on your other promotional material to aid

recognition and congruency of image.

"A good website offers real information.

"A good website includes a 'call to action' to create a response.

"A good website may include links to others that a prospect may find

useful, but don't be tempted to lead them to your direct competitors.

"People tend to use the internet for information rather than to buy.


"If you have a site it MUST be promoted in all your other promotional

material, included in your letterhead and listed with major search

engines.

"Your website is international. If you only offer your services in Britain,

then you probably don't need one other than for kudos or customer

service.

"Check your own website regularly. Is it still there? Does it still say what

you intended it to say? Is it creating interest? Is it out of date?

"Shop around carefully if considering a site. It is possible (but not

advisable) to use a FREE facility. Quotes can vary by several hundred

percent. Be sure that you are comparing like with like.


Appendix 6

HOW TO USE YOUR HOBBY AND INTERESTS TOEXPAND YOUR BUSINESS

"Whatever your hobby or interests you will know of others who share

them.

"You will have a considerable understanding of their mindsets and socio-

economic groupings (e.g. Polo players are likely to be well off with

considerable disposable income. E-Type Jaguar owners will have

achieved financial success).

"Attend group meetings both locally and nationally (even internationally if

appropriate). Raise your profile and then let people know what you do in

your professional practice.

"People like people who are like them, so you have already established a

high 'likeable factor' by sharing their interests.

"You already know a great deal about all these other prospects -

information that might take months to research from a cold start.

"Use these two factors to tailor some special marketing materials just for

this group.

"If you meet others regularly (e.g. at a gym or dance hall or bowling alley)

keep alert to possibilities for displaying a small but good quality

A4poster. Mention your own membership of 'their' club.

"Offer a FREE 'session' to the person responsible for displaying such

material.


"Offer a FREE 'session' to club members. (Use this as a selling

opportunity when they accept.)

"Create and regularly maintain a list of all groups who share your interest

within the area where you practice. (A rural area will be larger than an

urban one to have sufficient density of population.)


Appendix 7

HOW TO WRITE A BOOK AND GAIN RESPECT, EVENIF YOU CANNOT WRITE

"Authors are respected. When you write a book about an aspect of your

professional practice you will establish instant credibility that can be

translated into client fees.

"Always aim for the biggest market.

"The biggest market is for people who have an interest in, but little

knowledge of, your profession.

"Put yourself in their shoes. What do you wish you knew back then, when

you were like them?

"You might get lucky and interest a mainstream publisher but, in all

probability, you will do better to self-publish. (Avoid 'Vanity Publishers' at

all costs.)

"Your book should be paperback and about 100 pages. Think of about 10

possible chapter headings.

"Do not look upon a book as being an income generator. It will cost you

money. But it WILL be an interest generator. Budget it into your marketing

plans.

"There are many people who will write your book for you for a fee. It will

have your name as 'author' and you alone will know this 'secret'. These

are known as 'ghost writers' because they exist but are rarely seen.


"The Academy can put you in touch with an experienced and professional

ghost writer who is also an accomplished editor. He offers low cost

publishing consultancy too.

"Your book can also add to your CRM (See PART ONE) when you send a

signed copy with your compliments to a client to thank them for their

patronage.

"If you know a famous person, invite them to write the preface. Their

name alone will add credibility to your book.


Appendix 8

HOW TO GAIN THE POWERFUL FREE BENEFITS OF‘WORD OF MOUTH’ RECOMMENDATION

"‘Word of mouth’ recommendation is the best publicity of all.

"Simply ask a satisfied client - indeed, every satisfied client, if they can

recommend three acquaintances who might be interested in your services.

"Ask for three and you will probably get one. Ask for one and you will probably

get none as well as making your client feel that they have failed you.

"Nobody sells your practice as well as you do. So don't ask your client to

sell your services. All you are seeking is the name and contact number

so that YOU can approach the new prospect, using your client's name

(with their permission) as an introduction.

"Ask for these 'referrals' when a client expresses particular pleasure,

satisfaction or beneficial result. Strike while they are hot.

"Ask your client to put their favourable comments in writing and to sign

them. You can use these quotes in your subsequent marketing material.

This is a subtle variation on the 'word of mouth' theme.

"Always seek referrals at the end of a series of sessions.

"Always ask with confident expectation of a positive reply.

"If the client declines, move swiftly on and try again another time.

"If you don't ask you will not get!


Appendix 9

HOW TO SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGES TO YOURTARGET CLIENTS TO ENSURE A GREAT RESPONSE

"Never, ever attempt a hard sell.

"Let a client feel that they have chosen to buy, not that you have forced a

sale.

"Always emphasise the benefits for the client. Never discuss the

techniques or the 'behind-the-scenes nuts and bolts'. Even if asked,

appear to reply but keep an air of mystery as this will increase their

appetite for your services.

"Always treat your practice, training, procedures and qualifications with

the greatest respect. When your client sees YOUR respect, they will

share it.

"Never 'bad-mouth' your competition. Avoid professional rivalry and

gossip at all costs.

"When you ask a target client, or prospect, a question… avoid those that

can be answered with a straight 'Yes' or 'No'. Especially avoid those that

can be answered with a 'No'.

"Always assume that a prospective client WILL buy and WILL have the

means to pay your fee. This means using the 'presumptive close'.

"Always ask a prospect to buy. (Unless you ask, they may not volunteer.)

"Never offer a discount. If you suspect that a prospect has a problem with


your fee, by all means offer a lower price but for a lower level of service.

Knowing that your fee is what your services are truly worth means never

having to engage in bargaining or price wars.

"If a prospect resists, seek reasons why and use this grass-roots

research to adjust your future marketing approaches to avoid such

resistance.


Appendix 10

HOW TO GO FROM 'SUSPECT' TO 'PROSPECT' TO'CLIENT' TO 'REGULAR CLIENT' IN EASY STAGES

"A suspect is any member of the public who could conceivably become a

client for your practice sooner or later. When you initially approach such

individuals you are following a 'cold lead' which is normally non-

productive and disheartening.

"A suspect who has responded to your advertisements, press releases,

brochures or who has received word-of-mouth recommendation is a

'warm lead' prospect. They have already pre-selected themselves as

being interested in your services. Warm lead prospects are also found in

people who attend exhibitions or trade shows related to your specialty or

who subscribe to specialist magazines read by your existing clients.

"Each of the above underlined items can work for you - even while you

sleep - at converting a lead from 'cold' to 'warm'. They will only do this

if they send the right professional message in clear, simple, non-

patronising terms.

"When you respond to a prospect's request for more information you are

over half way towards converting them into a client. Provide as much

information as they seek and resist the temptation to provide more as

this can confuse them. (Plenty of time for this later, ideally during the

course of a session). Answer questions fully and truthfully.

"Treat every client with your total respect and with 100% attention whilst you

are talking to them or meeting with them. Never argue with a client. Avoid

issues of race, religion, politics or sex unless your specialty is built around

one of these themes. Always treat every client with absolute confidentiality.


Adhere to your professional code of ethics. (If you don't have one yet,

create one for yourself.)

"Offer clients a book, audio-programme, video or seminar that is related

to your practice specialty and that may assist the client. Never pester a

client but, if appropriate to your practice, follow up with 'wondered how

you are' enquiries at three months and nine months after the end of their

final session. Send copies of press-cuttings - 'I saw this and thought you

would be interested'.

"Always send a proper commercially produced 'Thank You' card after the

final session. Send a Christmas card too. This will increase the clients'

feel-good factor and may well produce a repeat booking.


Appendix 11

HOW TO FORM STRATEGIC ALLIANCES WITHOTHER PRACTICES TO YOUR MUTUALADVANTAGES

"Find out where other professionals in your area operate. Find out where

they meet, where they dine, where they shop, what clubs they belong to.

"Spend time in these places. Not to sell your services but to be seen and

eventually recognised.

"To be a successful person, mix with successful people.

"Establish strategic alliances with non competing practices.

"Example:- A local hypnotherapist lives next door to a solicitor. He

discovered that the solicitor regularly plays rugby and cricket with a local

team, often against a police team at the local police social club grounds.

He offered a free presentation and after dinner speech to the local

solicitors' professional group. They invited senior police officers. The

police asked if hypnotherapy could help officers and victims of post-

traumatic stress. As a result he doubled his client base. Some clients

clearly needed other therapies rather than hypnosis so they were

referred to other therapists in the area. In return, these therapists

referred some of their clients to the hypnosis specialist.

"Many practices who have totally different specialties may still share

common problems. This offers scope for joint 'open evenings' at a local

hotel. All contribute time and talents equally. All benefit from increased

local awareness.


"Read your local paper avidly and you will soon recognise who are the

'movers and shakers' in your community. Get to know them as part of

your mid to long-term strategy.

"These arrangements should not include financial reward or 'finder fees'.

They are simply a means of providing and returning favours.


Appendix 12

HOW TO ACTUALLY GET PAID FOR PROMOTINGYOUR OWN PRACTICE

"Examine copies of your favourite magazine which is non-practice related.

"Write an article that can easily fit into one of their regular pages.

"Example:- A life coach was recently published in two separate editions of

OK! Magazine. An aromatherapist was published in Your Horse magazine.

An accelerated learning specialist was published in Management Today.

"When it is published you will be paid a contributor's fee.

"And you will have achieved valuable FREE publicity too!


Appendix 13

HOW YOUR PROSPECTS' MINDS WORK WHENDECIDING ON A PRACTICE

"To make a decision, a prospect needs certain basic facts.

"Can you solve their problem?

"Do you have a good track record?

"Are your fees acceptable? (Too low and you may have a credibility gap.

Too high and you may have too few clients to sustain your lifestyle.)

"Can you provide evidence of past success and qualifications?

"Are you on their wavelength?

"Do you have something else in common - special interests or ethnic

values?

"Are you easy to reach during hours when the client seeks you?

"Can you assure them of a service that is beyond good and is excellent?

"Can you be trusted?

"If the answer to any of these questions is 'No'… then you have a lot of

urgent homework to do on yourself!


Appendix 14

10 TOP TIPS ON SAVING ADVERTISING MONEY -THAT THE MEDIA DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

1. Never pay the 'rate card' price for adverts - always negotiate their 'best'

price.

2. Ask for a 'forward features list' and advertise in issues that mention

your specialty.

3. Invite sales reps to contact you with low, low prices if an advertiser drops

out.

4. If they won't drop the price ask for a FREE upgrade to a bigger advert.

5. Don't pay premium extras for 'special positions', they don't work any

better.

6. Don't pay extra for colour - it rarely looks as good as you expect it to.

7. Seek generous discounts for a series of ads - again, ignore the rate card.

8. Seek deep discounts for 'payment with order'.

9. Provide camera-ready copy and seek a reduction for this.

10. Prices fall as deadlines approach - book as late as you dare.


Appendix 15

10 REASONS WHY PRESS RELEASES ARE THEBEST 'FREE' ADVERTISING OF ALL

1. It really is FREE.

2. Even if you pay to have it written you can expect a much larger mention.

3. 'Editorial' is trusted by readers more than advertisements.

4. 'Editorial' is usually read, advertisements are often skipped.

5. Editors have pages to fill so you are actually helping them.

6. Readers believe that editorial space is earned on merit while adverts are

paid for.

7. In the right publication, your practice can have a perceived 'up market'

image.

8. They are simple and quick to write - but simple doesn't mean easy.

9. They are cheap to distribute by fax or email.

10. The publication pays for typesetting - so you don't have to.

BONUS TIP:- Keep a file of published work along with the cover of the

magazine or front page of the paper it appeared in. Use this in your own

marketing initiatives.


Appendix 16

10 VITAL WAYS TO GAIN MAXIMUM COSTEFFECTIVENESS AT TRADE SHOWS ANDEXHIBITIONS

1. Never pay the rate-card price for a stand - negotiate terms.

2. Never hire extras other than a single electrical power point.

3. Book 'space only' rather than 'shell schemes'.

4. Seek a ground floor spot in a high traffic area - near entrance, cafes or

toilets.

5. Have something moving on your stand to attract attention.

6. Get off your stand and herd the visitors towards it - bribe them with a

candy.

7. Have a second person on the stand to deal with those you present to

them.

8. Use your most dynamic and attractive 'personality-plus' staff.

9. Offer a discount 'if you book at this show'.

10. Make it obvious what you do!

BONUS TIP:- Always follow up all enquiries the next day!


Appendix 17

10 WAYS TO TURN YOUR ATTENDANCE AS ANEXHIBITION VISITOR TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

1. Always visit on two consecutive days.

2. Always wear a distinctive colour on both days - red is good.

3. Get there early on the first day and visit as many stands as you can.

4. Talk to as many stand staff as you can - buy nothing and refuse paper.

5. Visit early again on the 2nd day - you will be recognised and greeted as

a friend

6. Lie low over the lunch period but talk to as many people as you can in

the café.

7. Give out your business cards as freely as possible - to other visitors and

stand staff.

8. Your objective is to find potential clients or strategic alliances.

9. Sympathise with tired stand staff - they will then see you as 'one of

them'.

10. Visit special stands just before closing time to say a personal 'good-

bye'.

BONUS TIP:- Place your promotional literature in the exhibitors' press room

- organisers rarely (if ever) check these.


Appendix 18

10 WAYS TO ATTRACT AND RETAIN THE ATTENTIONOF MAGAZINE EDITORS

1. Always send perfect 'first generation' clean, clear typed/printed hard

copy of your article.

2. Always include a cover sheet with title, your name, contact numbers and

word count.

3. Offer 'FBSR' - (First British Serial Rights).

4. Enclose a good quality photograph with name and contact details on a

label on the reverse. (A photo booth passport picture will not do.)

5. Say that you are available for telephone interview or photo if needed.

6. Read a copy of the magazine and see where your article might fit. Adjust

word count accordingly.

7. Do not telephone to enquire about progress.

8. Write informative articles and go easy on the 'hidden advert' content.

9. Offer copy on floppy disk or email if needed.

10. Phone magazine offices for name of editor and mark submission 'For

personal attention of [Name]'

BONUS TIP:- Ask for payment at their 'usual contributor rate' and request

two copies of the issue that your article appears in.


Appendix 19

10 WAYS TO DEAL WITH DISSATISFIED CLIENTS

1. Listen more than you speak.

2. Empathise (even if they are wrong).

3. Make apologies rather than excuses.

4. Ask what they would like you to do to make the situation better for them.

5. If appropriate, offer a refund or FREE further session.

6. If appropriate, offer refunds as vouchers against further services rather

than cash.

7. Remember a dissatisfied client will tell many others. You are in 'damage

limitation' mode.

8. Never argue, talk over, or shout down your client.

9. Let them blow off a head of steam before trying to make your points.

10. Speak slowly and calmly and quietly and maintain your professional

demeanour at all times.


Appendix 20

10 WAYS TO CREATE A NEWSLETTER THATCREATES CLIENTS

1. A newsletter lets prospective clients know what you do and keeps

existing clients loyal.

2. Give your newsletter a catchy title or at least one that says something

about your practice.

3. A newsletter is not just a very long advertisement. It must contain

information.

4. Let your newsletter reflect the personality of your practice.

5. Publish regularly at least once a year but no more than six times a year.

6. Send your newsletter by first class post, this implies added value and

shows that you care.

7. Use A4paper and ensure good quality reproduction. (Laser Print or High

Street Quick Copy shops.)

8. Include offers that are 'exclusive' to newsletter readers.

9. Look at examples of newsletters that appeal to you and copy their layout.

10. Put a cover price on the front page (at least £1) but send the

newsletter FREE with your compliments. This adds perceived value.

BONUS TIP:- Avoid fancy fonts, especially if you send your newsletter by


email - what leaves your computer will not always be what is received at the

other end


Appendix 21

10 SECRETS OF EFFECTIVE BROCHURE DESIGN

1. Print your brochure on A4 paper.

2. A double-sided three-fold brochure says 'cheap'. Leave this format for

menus in take-away restaurants.

3. A double-sided brochure folded in half (to give a finished size of A5)

looks bigger, classier and fits a standard C5 envelope without further

folds.

4. Add quality by using thick paper - at least 100gsm.

5. Add colour by using black print on tinted paper. Don't pay for coloured

inks.

6. Use one consistent font throughout. Vary its size for variety and

headlines.

7. You MUST say who you are, where you are, what you do, what it costs.

8. You MUST TELL readers what to do next and make it easy for them to

do it.

9. Use a single column on the front and back pages - clean and simple to

attract interest.

10. Use double or triple columns on inside pages - looks more informative.

BONUS TIP:- People buy from people. Consider using a good quality head


and shoulders photograph of yourself but don't let your brochure become

an ego trip.

BONUS TIP:- You can double the response rate when you include a reply

postcard or coupon for more information.


Appendix 22

10 WAYS OF CREATING THE RIGHT AMBIENCE

1. First impressions count so keep your premises immaculately clean and

tidy at all times.

2. Never allow incoming telephone calls to interrupt your time with a client.

Use an answering machine, a message service or a member of staff. Let

such callers know the best times to call. (e.g. between 1pm and 3pm

Mon to Fri)

3. Use effective colours:- Primary red and yellow can create stress. Blue

and green shades create calm. Cream and beige are boring. White is

clinical. Pink (and most pastels) are feminine. Black and chrome are

masculine. Darker colours say 'quality' (navy, burgundy, mahogany).

Think of colour themes.

4. Use effective lighting:- Avoid stark overhead strip lights. Use spotlights,

up lighters and table lamps to focus attention on a key ornament or

picture. Think how lighting can conceal as well as reveal. Use daylight

wherever possible but filter direct sun through blinds.

5. Use effective sounds:- Avoid rock or heavy metal. Use classical or new

age or ambient music. Keep background music in the background. If a

client prefers silence, then kill the music at once. Use CD on 'repeat

play' to avoid fiddling around with the equipment.

6. Use effective aromas:- Avoid harsh 'public lavatory' air-fresheners. Use

incense (flower pots with earth make safe containers for incense sticks)

these are cheaper than oil-burners. Consider pot-pouri if you suspect

that clients may have respiratory conditions that incense might irritate.


Use fresh flowers in season in fresh water.

7. Use an indoor water feature:- These are soothing but can create a need

for a visit to the toilet if too loud in the trickle-sound department.

8. Have the best quality toilet facilities for your clients and keep these

clean at all times.

9. Get a simple book on Feng-Shui and apply the best ideas.

10. Pay attention to floor coverings regarding texture, colour and silencing

effects.


Appendix 23

PRESS RELEASES FOR LIFE COACHES"How to use this Appendix

"Press releases defined and why you need them

"The importance of timing

"How to identify your target publications

"How to present your press release

"What your press release must (and must not) contain

"Beyond your press release

"Copyright

"A useful contact

"Sample press releases

FOR PUBLICATION IN" January How to keep every resolution without fail

" February The Best Valentine - Love Yourself

" March For Mother’s Day - And Fathers Too

" April The Promise of Easter

" May Spring Clean Your Life

" June Your Super Summer Retreat

" July Time To Relax

" August Your Autumn Tune Up

" September Use Those Longer Evenings

" October Plan Your Perfect Christmas Now

" November Your Year End Review

" December A Special Time For Special Relationships


How to use this AppendixWELCOME TO PRESS RELEASES FOR LIFECOACHES.

It does not matter one iota whether you know anything about press

releases or not.

This Appendix provides an easy to read introduction to the subject and

some useful reminders for those who may have been introduced some time

ago.

It is suggested that you read through the first sections just as you would

read any other book and that you make key-word notes in the wide margins

as you go.

These sections alone contain dozens of useful snippets of information on a

‘need to know basis’ which saves you the time and effort of finding a text-

book on the subject and ploughing through it.

You are a life coach of excellence - this does not necessarily mean that you

are also a writer of excellence. The really good news is that you don’t have

to be!

Once you have completed the first section, look at a few of the sample

press releases to give you some ideas. You can even copy them if you wish.

(But pay special attention to the section on copyright.)

Your feedback and positive comments are always welcome as these will

help us to shape the next edition to make it even more useful.

Happy reading!


PRESS RELEASES DEFINED AND WHY YOU NEEDTHEM

" A press release is simply a short story about an aspect of your practice

that is sent to the editor of a newspaper, magazine, radio programme or

television programme.

" Its purpose is to raise public awareness of your profession in general,

local awareness of your ability to provide the service and thus the

creation of interest. You can then convert this awareness into client

creation.

" Your press release will be competing with dozens of others, including

very glossy presentations from major public relations (PR) companies.

Armed with the information in this booklet, your release stands a better

chance than many of being selected for publication or broadcast.

" Readers, listeners and viewers are not daft. They recognise that

something carried as ‘editorial’, which your press release will be, has

earned its publication on merit rather than a paid for advertisement

which many will disregard or disbelieve.

" They will even see your published or broadcast item as an implied

endorsement by the editor. This is the next best thing to first hand word

of mouth recommendation.

" Think of the advertising that you could buy. £100 may fund a single

entry of an eighth page classified advertisement in a small circulation

magazine. A whole page can cost at least £2000 and, in the national

newspapers and magazines can cost more than £10,000.

" Your press release can gain you at least as much coverage - and often


more - and it will cost you zero, zilch, nada, nothing! (Unless you pay

someone to write it for you, more about this later.) And it will be more

credible as news!

" In fairness there is a downside. Publication of a paid advertisement is

usually guaranteed but publication of your press release is a gamble. It

is however, one of the few gambles worth taking as your ‘stake’ is a few

hours of your free time, a few sheets of paper, a handful of stamps and

some envelopes, a couple of clicks of your email mouse. Your ‘winnings’

could be worth £10,000 in equivalent advertising or more.

" No public relations firm in this planet can ever promise that your press

release will be published. If they do, they are lying! You do not want to

do business with them. You really don’t!

" As with all initiatives there are tricks of the trade that can take years of

trial and error to learn. Some of the most useful are revealed in these

pages so that you can use them immediately. Others have made the

mistakes so that you don’t have to!

" Use a well crafted press release whenever you need to increase your

client base.

" But first, read the next section about timing.

TIP:- Never, ever pester an editor with enquiries about whether they got

your press release or if and when they plan to use it. Take it from me.

They did get it and they will use it if it is good enough!


THE IMPORTANCE OF TIMING

" If you send your press release to the local paper and expect to see your

practice featured in the next issue - you may be disappointed!

" Even daily papers, both local and national, tend to prepare their featured

articles several weeks in advance of publication.

" So when CAN you expect to be published? Here is a rough guide. You

should keep these timescales in mind when you are sending a time-

sensitive press release.

" For inclusion in TV documentaries you may wait a year or more before

your programme is screened. TV chat-shows have a shorter lead time.

" Radio programmes offer the most instantaneous coverage.

TIP:- Contact the editor of your chosen publications and ask for a

‘forward features list’ and deadlines. You can then tailor your press

release to pick up on one of the featured themes and get it there on

Daily Papers Four weeks before intended publication

Weekly Papers Eight weeks before intended publication

Weekly Magazines Three months before

Monthly Magazines Four months before

Quarterly Magazines Nine months before


SAMPLE

" Send your press release by first class post and, just to drive the point

home, write ‘First Class’ on the envelope (or use a pre-printed First

Class sticker).

" Editors are always busy people. They don’t like Monday morning mail

as many have a production meeting on that day. They like to ‘run-down’

on Fridays, so time your posting to arrive on Tuesday, Wednesday or

Thursday.


HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR TARGET PUBLICATIONS

"The first step is to have a clear idea about who you want to reach.

"If your objective is to attract local clients, there is no point in seeking

national coverage - so focus on local publications and broadcasters.

"If you have just written a book or won an award and seek sales, fame

and glory on a national scale - then go for nationally distributed

publications and national broadcasting media.

"Now refine your target further. (Don’t be tempted to say ‘everyone’ as

you will be wasting your time and postage.)

"Identify your prime target audience by sex, occupation, ethnic group,

family status, socio-economic group, special interests and so on.

"If you want to attract business executives as clients, there is no point in

submitting a press release to Woman and Home. If you want housewives as

clients, then don’t seek publication in Management Today. You get the

picture?

There are three annual publications that you may find useful…

" Writers and Artists Year Book

" The Guardian Media Guide

" Freelance Photographers’ Handbook

" They all contain a wealth of information, names and addresses. Your

local bookshop or library will have them.

" Professional PR agencies use Willings Press Guide ...but this costs

megabucks and is not really necessary - but you may find it useful to


browse through a copy in a library.

"Be prepared to think ‘outside the box’. If your special interest is, say,

horse riding, then consider a press release about the way that a coached

rider can enjoy a happier relationship with their horse. (Did you know that

stables use chiropractors, osteopaths, acupuncture and herbalists for

their animals?… so why not life coaches for their owners?)

"A local story will sometimes be picked up by the national media - so be

prepared. It may never happen to you. But it might!


HOW TO PRESENT YOUR PRESS RELEASE

" Use white A4 paper.

" Type or print on one side only.

" Use double line spacing.

" Send only pristine, perfect, first generation copies.

" Ensure that your name appears on every sheet. (Use the ‘header’ facility

if you have a word processor.)

" Ensure that every sheet is numbered.

" Ensure that every sheet contains an identifier keyword (more on this

later).

" Always conclude your text with a word count.

" Keep paragraphs short.

" Keep sentences short.

" Check, double check and triple check spelling.

" Avoid fancy fonts or typeface - Times New Roman is ideal.

" Avoid colourful gimmicks - stick to black ink.

" Avoid jokes, cartoons, illustrations, graphs or charts.

" Keep to one sheet of A4 if possible, two or three sheets are acceptable,

more will reduce your chances of even being considered. The editor will

ask for more if he or she needs it.

" Include a brief covering letter. Keep it simple and address it to a named

person. (An example follows overleaf.)

" Do not submit press releases by email unless requested to do so.

TIP:- Put your most important points at the start and the least

important at the end. Most editors will ‘cut’ from the bottom upwards.


YOUR PRACTICE LETTER HEADING

With address, phone and other contact details included…

For the attention of:

Bill Bloggs

Features Editor

Presentation Magazine

Top Hatt Publishing

Sydney

2000

23rd May 2001

Dear Mr Bloggs

I am pleased to enclose a press release about a new life coaching

practice that is creating considerable interest in show business

circles. I am sure that your readers will find this information useful.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need more information.

I look forward to receiving a copy of Presentation Magazine when you

decide to use this material.

Yours sincerely

Andrew CoacherAndrew Coacher

Enc x 1


WHAT YOUR PRESS RELEASE MUST (AND MUSTNOT) CONTAIN

" It MUST have a headline. You have about two seconds to attract the

editor’s attention. If the headline fails in this mission, the rest of your

press release will not be read.

" It MUST NOT be a blatant advertisement for your practice or services.

If it is construed as such it will not be published. You may, however,

receive many calls from the advertising salesmen inviting you to take

paid advertisements instead.

" It MUST have a ‘news’ angle. This may be to announce a new product

or service, to mark the anniversary of something, to mention a famous

name visiting your area, to announce new and improved offices, to

announce the youngest, oldest, rarest or most unusual of something.

" It is OK to be inventive when looking for ‘news’. In our experience, given

that many life coaches offer broadly similar services, we suggest that a

‘tie in’ with national anniversaries. e.g. Valentine’s Day; offers a

suitable ‘news’ angle. (For ‘news’ in this instance, read ‘topical’.)

" Every sheet MUST have an identifier key word (see examples) and your

details in the header. It must be numbered. At the foot of each sheet

put /More if the text is continued. At the foot of the last sheet put ENDS

350 WORDS (insert the correct wordcount).

" It will help your chances of success if you add a standard form of ‘notes

for editors’ (see examples).

" You MUST NOT use registered trademarks, brand names, individual’s

names or quotations without the prior written consent of their owners.


BEYOND YOUR PRESS RELEASE"Most editors maintain a list of contacts and you could be on it.

"Once you have established a reputation for providing well crafted and

professionally presented press releases, you may well be contacted for

a quote or a comment if the need arises.

"If you are able to develop a working relationship with an editor, you can

save a lot of ‘cold calling’ by using this as the introduction to having an

article or series of articles in the title.

" An article about an aspect of your practice will have all the benefits of

a press release (free publicity across generous space etc) but it will

have a significant extra benefit - you should be paid for it too!

"Contact the author of this paper if you need more information about

promoting your practice through articles.

COPYRIGHT"It is illegal, immoral and not becoming of a life coach to steal the

intellectual property of another. Copyright protects the originator of a

work against this.

"The originator of an item may, however, bestow copyright to a third party.

In the case of this paper, for example, the author has received a fee

which was partly for creating the work and partly for bestowing its

copyright upon The Coaching Academy Ltd.

"If you acquired this document through the correct channels, the Academy

now bestows limited use of that copyright on you. This means that you

can use the 12 press releases that follow for promoting your own

practice and for no other reason. The Academy does, however, retain

copyright of the rest of this publication which means that you are NOT

permitted to copy, reproduce or sell it on.

TIP:- It is not in your interests to claim copyright of your press release

because the whole objective is to get it published as widely as possible.


A USEFUL CONTACT

"This paper is produced for The Coaching Academy by Colin C. Edwards.

"Colin is an experienced author, editor, journalist and PR consultant.

"He works on a freelance basis and will be happy to quote for your writing

needs. He is a life coach too!

"As an exclusive offer for Academy graduates, Colin offers 25% reduction

from his usual fees.

"He will be pleased to hear from you during office hours on

0208 313 3971 or by email at [email protected]

The following pages contain a press release for eachmonth of the year.

Please read the notes concerning ‘timing’ elsewhere in this booklet and

remember that the suggested months are planned publication months.

It is not recommended that you photocopy these examples. Write the

content yourself making the appropriate changes to name, town and

contact numbers and then save them to your own computer or word

processor. If you have a typewriter, then keep a simple file copy.

Do not send monthly press releases to the same editor. Use the examples

as ‘ideas stimulators’. Keep a record of the dates of mailing and

publication of each of your releases. If one works better than others, use

it again with minimal changes for a different audience.


Release 1 for January publication

PRESS INFORMATION Immediate Release - [Date]

Resolution

HOW TO KEEP EVERY RESOLUTION WITHOUT FAILWe have all done it. We make New Year resolutions, maybe struggle to keep them for afew days, make ourselves miserable and then lapse back into our old habits.

Sure, we may keep a few of these resolutions during our life but, for most, it is a losingbattle. Now a man/woman from Anytown says that he/she has the vital formula that canensure that you can keep every resolution without fail.

According to John Doe, we could all benefit from this simple procedure. He claims thatthe key lies in that word ‘resolution’. He suggests that when we make these promisesto ourselves, we should drop the ‘re’ bit of the word and concentrate on the ‘solution’.

Doe is a life coach and tells us that many of his clients benefit from this simple changeto their thinking. “Consider why people make resolutions. It is usually because there issome aspect of their life that they want to change for the better. Then, instead offocusing on the great benefits that they will achieve, they focus on what they are givingup so, of course they fail.”

John Doe again. “In this life you attract whatever it is that you think about the most. If youthink about negative words like giving up, stopping, doing less or changing something thatyou have enjoyed for years, then it is inevitable that your subconscious will rebel to ensurethat it does not happen.”

He continues: “Instead of thinking about resolutions, think about solutions. Think abouthow you will look, feel and sound when you have found the solution. Instead of thinkingabout what you may be giving up, think about what you will gain. Remember too that thereis no success or failure; there is only a result. Don’t beat yourself up if the result is notwhat you planned, just change something and start again.”

Doe also offers some pointers about why so many people get results that they see asfailure. He tells us that there are two main reasons. The first is that they try to changethe habits of a lifetime overnight and the human mind and body doesn’t work like that.The other is that they attempt to do it alone. The help and support of a non-judgmentaland uncritical third party is crucial to a good outcome.


More/

Resolution

Many coaching clients think that setting a resolution is all that it needs. Doe oftenspends the first few coaching sessions getting them to fully appreciate why they choosewhat they choose and to examine their commitment to the change. Then he gets themto define strategies for creating the change with small action steps that will bring themgradually closer to their goals.

Achieving solutions begins with setting them correctly and then having support to makethem happen in a timescale that the body and mind can and will accept.

John Doe is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of his approach to lifecoaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. He can be contacted during usualoffice hours on Tel 0208 765 4321

We give him the last word. “ New Year solutions are great if they get you thinking aboutyour life. Remember, you can start work on a new solution at any time. The power ofpersonal change is just too good to be limited to the first few days of the year and it reallyis possible to keep every resolution without fail”.

ENDS 600 WORDS

Notes for editors: John Doe is available for interview and photographs. He can becontacted on Tel 0208 765 4321 Fax 0208 123 4567 or by email at [email protected]

NOTES:- Before you send this to a potential publisher, make the following changes: Where you

see 'John Doe' or 'Doe', substitute your own names or surname. Where you see 'Anytown'

substitute the name of your town. Where you see 'Tel, fax or email' add your own number.

Where you see 'date' substitute the date that you send the release. Print the finished version on

your own letterhead.


Release 2 for February publication


Love

THE BEST VALENTINE - LOVE YOURSELFThis is the month when love is in the air, thanks to Saint Valentine. But here is a thoughtfor you. When did you last give yourself a Valentine?

That is not as strange as it may seem. As anyone who knows true love will tell you, themore love that you give, the more you receive. This starts an amazing circle of everincreasing love, which makes your eyes shine; your energy level rises and improves everyaspect of your life.

According to John Doe of Anytown, the place to start this whole cycle going is with self-love. This doesn’t mean selfishness and introspection. It means taking time out to trulyappreciate all your great qualities, skills and talents.

Doe is a life coach and tells us that many of his clients benefit from this simple changeto their approach to love. He explains that, because so many of us are brought up in aculture where it is considered bad form to put yourself first, we can severely limit the lovethat we have to give.

John Doe again. “It can also limit your capacity to receive love. If you don’t love yourself,you may feel that you are unlovable by someone else. At best, this can make you doubtany expressions of love that you receive. At worst, it can even make you repel those whowant to love you and that can result in the collapse of a relationship.”

He continues: “Self love is not the same as selfishness. It is the ability to acknowledgeall your good points instead of a continual focus on your faults. It means looking into themirror and seeing a person of great potential. When you can do this you can look theworld in the eye, you can give freely and you can project love outwards to others.”

Doe also offers a reason why so many people never get to find the one true love that theValentine’s cards talk about. “It is because the whole idea of self love is alien to them.If they think about it as self-esteem then it becomes more acceptable. Every truly happyand successful person has high self-esteem. This is not the same as arrogance orconceit, it is about giving as much credibility to your positive qualities as you do to allthe others.”


Love

Some of his coaching clients have discovered that, once they have addressed the issueof self-esteem, then everything else just falls into place. Doe says that the process ofincreased awareness is simple, gradual and very effective. The biggest pay off is thatwhen you have done it once; you have it for all time. Then you become truly aware thatyou can be, do or have whatever you want in life - and that includes love.

John Doe is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of his approach to lifecoaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. He can be contacted during usualoffice hours onTel 0208 765 4321

We give him the last word. “We are all born with a good awareness of ourselves. Whatsubsequently happens is that we remember all the negative things that others tell usabout ourselves and these can swamp our opinions about the good qualities that wehave. Decide to base your impressions of self on what you truly know to be true insteadof the opinions of others and you are well on the way to building up that never-endingstore of love that is your birthright.”

ENDS 630 WORDS








Release 3 for March publication(NB: The date of Mother’s Day is variable around the world!)


Mother

FOR MOTHERS’ DAY and FATHERS TOOWe all have a mother and a father and, of course, most of us remember them especiallyon their special days. But now it could be time to go beyond cards and flowers.

We all owe a deep debt of gratitude to our parents for creating us in the first place, thenfor giving us roots in a secure environment to progress from infancy to adolescence. Thebest parents of all then gave us wings so that we could explore the world and soar to theheights of our own vast potential.

According to John Doe of Anytown, this is an ideal situation and, alas, one that a greatmany people feel they have lost out on.

Doe is a life coach and tells us that many of our attitudes to work, relationships and lifein general are coloured by how close our childhood came to this ideal. He points out thatany couple can become parents without any training, lessons or experience. So it is notsurprising that many fall short of the perfection that we might have felt was our due.

John Doe again. “The key to overcoming any resentment or regret is forgiveness. Afterall, what has been done cannot be undone and you are what you are. You are also whatyou think, so Mothers’ day is a great time to eliminate any negative thinking about yourparents.”

He continues, “They did the very best that they could with the knowledge that wasavailable to them at the time. Like you, they only discovered what they didn’t know whenthey needed to know it - so it is hardly surprising that they may have made a few mistakesalong the way.”

Doe excludes parents who wilfully mistreat their children from this general observation.These individuals will require a greater effort for forgiveness but it is an effort well worthmaking. Some of his coaching clients are held back in achieving the great things in lifebecause there is simply no room to let them in. He explains it like this, “If you harboura grudge or resentment it will fester and impact on everything else that you do and thatis like trying to cycle uphill with the brakes on. The way to release the brakes is to justlet go.”


Mother

“If it becomes apparent that a client is being held back by some imagined past injusticeI ask them three simple questions. ‘Could you let that feeling go?’ ‘Would you let it go?’‘When?’”

Their answers invariably lead to the client becoming aware of the way forward and goingfor it. This process also has a positive impact for clients who are parents themselves. Inunderstanding their own parents, they find a greater understanding of their children.

John Doe is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of his approach to lifecoaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. He can be contacted during usualoffice hours on Tel 0208 765 4321

We give him the last word. “In the final analysis we all have a choice. We can carrynegativity and bitterness with us to the grave or we can decide, right now, to let it go andreplace it with happiness and love. Share that love with your parents before it is toolate.”

ENDS 600 WORDS








Release 4 for April publication (NB: The date of Easter isvariable)


Easter

THE PROMISE OF EASTEREaster is one of the most special public holidays of the year. Of course there is a specialsignificance for Christians but there is also something in the air for everyone.

As the mornings and evenings grow lighter and as the last of the winter frosts disappear,there is a great feeling of a new beginning. The first trees are in blossom and the othershave green buds. The grass is starting to grow faster than even the most avid gardenercan mow it.

According to John Doe of Anytown, this is a great time of year to look back at those NewYear resolutions, to review progress and to take any corrective action needed.

Doe is a life coach who has a keen professional awareness of the way that the seasonscan affect our feelings and attitudes. “The chances are that you made those Januaryresolutions in the midst of a cold, grey and wet winter. That probably made your emotionsand optimism pretty cold, grey and wet too.”

John Doe again. “But, when the natural world is bursting with the promise of a gloriousspring and the warmth of summer, this is an ideal time to decide that you too will startover and put right anything that you feel needs correction in your own life.”

He continues: “Unless humans interfere with nature, it has its own graceful balance. Theold and used makes way for the new and vibrant. Anyone can do the same with their ownthoughts and attitudes. Perhaps those fondly held beliefs that served you well in the pastare due for an overhaul. Perhaps it is time to restore your own natural balance.”

When pressed further, Doe explains that balance means harmony rather than discord.He suggests that this should include a brief but thorough examination of all the areas ofyour life - relationships, career, health, finances, leisure and talents.

He described one client. “This man was a success by most material measures. Despitehis large house, ample income and luxury car, he was an unhappy person. He had spentso much energy building his business that he had no time left for all those other aspectsof his life. As our coaching sessions progressed he began to work on restoring thebalance. Within weeks he had found happiness too and without putting any of his


material gains at risk either.”

More/

Easter

John Doe is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of his approach to lifecoaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. He can be contacted during usualoffice hours on Tel 0208 765 4321.

We give him the last word. “You would have to be a very cold individual indeed to totallyignore the promise of Easter. So take some of that promise for yourself and then makesure that it is a promise that is delivered. You deserve nothing less”.

ENDS 520 WORDS








Release 5 for May publication


Spring

SPRING CLEAN YOUR LIFESpring cleaning has its origins in ancient history. Back then; with no labour savingdevices and no electricity, spring marked the start of the season when the weatherallowed a complete cleaning of the cave or house.

Since then, the tradition has been maintained but now there is a new angle. It is calledlife coaching and it is, in effect, spring cleaning for your life.

According to John Doe of Anytown, life coaching is one of the most effective ways ofstaying green and growing instead of becoming ripe and rotten. It is simply a way oflooking at where you are now, where you want to be in the future and how you are goingto get there.

Doe is a trained, professional life coach who helps his clients to do just that in a seriesof one-hour telephone conversations at weekly intervals. “A few people are able to dothis for themselves but the vast majority find that having an outsider like me to keepthem on course is a vital ingredient in their life spring cleaning.”

John Doe again. “Frankly, I am not interested in how they got to where they are now. Theonly place that they can start to change their life is here and now. So we focus totally onthe future and the actions that will lead to the positive results that they desire”.

He continues: “In the same way that our homes can become musty during the wintermonths and often look in need of a new lick of paint, so our lives can become a bittattered and full of mental junk that no longer serves us well.”

Doe states that we all, without exception, carry a load of excess baggage in the form ofworry, guilt, fears and false beliefs or expectations. He is a great believer in the powerof a positive mental attitude and claims that very few of us ever achieve anythingapproaching our full potential.

In life coaching, clients are shown how they can easily let go of all this baggage to createroom in their lives for new and exciting challenges. He says: “Many clients are amazed atthe positive impact that even a small change or shift in attitude can produce.” This reallyis spring cleaning for the mind.


Spring

In the same way that the onset of spring is often the catalyst that triggers a burst ofdomestic action, so a life coach can be the catalyst that allows amazing and positivechanges to happen.


He says, “I am still surprised at how often my clients tell me that their emotional andmental spring cleaning is like a weight being lifted from their shoulders. The joy is thatthey do it all themselves, I am just there to show them how.”

ENDS 530WORDS



Release 6 for June publication


Miracle

RETREAT FOR SUMMER MIRACLESIndians, we are told, do it more than any other nation. People with religious beliefs do itonce a year. Captains of industry do it less often. You can do it whenever you like.

For centuries, the practise of taking time out to do something different has been recognisedas a sure-fire way of recharging your batteries, igniting your enthusiasm and solving problems.In commerce it is sometimes called a sabbatical, others may call it going on retreat.

According to John Doe of Anytown, we could all benefit from this simple procedure. He evengoes a step further. “You don’t have to spend a week as a hermit on a mountain top. Justone day will release amazing benefits and the best part is that it doesn’t cost anything.”

Doe is a life coach and tells us that many of his clients benefit from this simple changeto their routine. When you put a little distance between yourself and your routinechallenges or issues, you see them in a different light and from a different perspective.You may even create a few miracles for yourself as a result. These will come as flashesof intuition that can lead you to take the action needed to resolve a problem.

John Doe again. “If you look at something, say an apple, and hold it close to your faceso that it is touching your nose, you will see a very small part of it. Hold it at arms lengthand you will see the whole apple and its texture and colours. Look at it from the otherend of the room and you won’t see the detail but you will see it in the perspective of itssurroundings and in true proportion.” He continues: “It is the same with issues orproblems. You add distance and see them from a new angle.”

According to Doe, the summer is a great time to do this. Simply set a weekday date in yourdiary right now, when you will take off to the countryside, the hills or the beach. Go by car,bike, train or on foot but go to somewhere that you have never been before and where youcan be sure of some space alone. Set off early and plan to be out all day. Leave your mobilephone at home and travel light. Then just wander around for the day, thinking of nothing,focusing on the ‘now’ experience.

Many coaching clients are amazed how easy this is. They are ‘off the leash’ and just bybeing in a different place they find that their thoughts turn to solutions and answersrather than problems and challenges. “You create in life what you think about”, says Doe.


Miracle

So, make that date in your diary now. Look forward to it, keep it without guilt, enjoy itand return refreshed.


We give him the last word. “If you do the same thing, in the same way, you will get thesame results. Your one day summer retreat may be the one enjoyable change that youneed to create those spectacular ‘miracle’ results that you know you deserve”.

ENDS 570 words



Release 7 for July publication


Relax

TIME TO RELAXThose hazy, lazy days of summer - weather permitting - are ideal times for doing nothing,either on an annual holiday or at weekends.

And yet, for all too many of us, we are so used to absorbing information, working againstthe clock, commuting and just dealing with life that we are unable to totally unwind orrelax.

According to John Doe of Anytown, relaxation is a skill that can be learned just like anyother. He goes even further: “It is more than a skill, it is a natural state, that is why weare called human beings instead of human doings.”

Doe is a life coach and tells us that many of his clients initially contact him with a feelingthat ‘life should be better than this’. During their very first coaching session, it transpiresthat their life could indeed be better. These same clients are surprised when he suggeststhat they could achieve more by doing less.

John Doe again. “If you constantly keep a muscle under tension or strain it will ache andeventually fail. It needs periods of rest to remain in good working order. This holds truefor your entire being - your mind, body and spirit. You must take time out to relax.”

According to Doe, relaxation does not mean lazing on a settee watching television. Heclaims that this can be the exact opposite of relaxation, especially if the programmes arefull of bad news, violence or crime. He says: “My approach to helping clients relax is toshow them how to switch off completely, how to do nothing except enjoy their ‘now’moments and how to let go of the many thoughts that may intrude.”

Many coaching clients are amazed how easy this is. They wonder that nobody everexplained this to them before. They are even more surprised when they discover howtheir energy levels are higher after proper relaxation. Doe recommends daily meditationtoo. He teaches his clients some very simple and enjoyable techniques that they can useat any time.

More/


Relax


ENDS 400 words



Release 8 for August publication


Tune Up

YOUR AUTUMN TUNE UPIf you own a car, boat or aeroplane you will be well aware of the need for regularservicing, maintenance and a routine tune up.

Engineers have an adage. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. This may hold good for a whilebut you know, in your heart of hearts, that if you ignore some basic requirements it willbreak and probably do so at a time that is inconvenient at best and dangerous at worst.

John Doe, a professional life coach of Anytown explained this to us recently. He wastelling us about a new service that he offers his clients. “Even my long term clients, whoalready know how coaching can transform their lives, sometimes need a ‘tune up’ aftera few months. For people who haven’t yet experienced the amazing results of lifecoaching, this new tune up service offers a valuable introduction to the coachingprocess.”

In a few one-hour telephone conversations, at weekly intervals, Doe invites his clients toreview where they are now and where they want to be in the future. Together they createa strategy for getting to where they want to be and define the actions that will producethe desired results. He is quick to point out that the life coach is simply the catalyst. Itis the client who makes the decisions and the commitment. For a great many, the weeklyreporting back of progress is the spur that keeps them on target.

Doe returns to the engineering analogy again. “After a long summer, machinery isprobably needing a good lubrication, a removal of accumulated debris and attention tothe ravages of long, sunny days. Autumn is a great time for human engineering too. Asthe evenings grow darker and there are fewer outdoor distractions it is all too easy tolapse into evenings in front of the television. I just invite my clients to spend a fewminutes a day on their own tune up needs. They are then better equipped to face anychallenges that come their way and to create great new opportunities for themselves”.



Tune Up

ENDS 430 Words



Release 9 for September publication


Evenings

USE THOSE LONGER EVENINGSIf you lead an active outdoor life you will think of the September dusk as coming too earlyand making your evenings shorter. If you spend much of your time indoors you will seethem as longer evenings. The hours of darkness are the same for everyone. It is onlyyour perception of them that is different.

John Doe is a professional life coach with a practice in Anytown. He says: “No two people seethe world in exactly the same way. The art of achieving success in life is to ensure that yousee every challenge or opportunity in its most positive light - and this is a great time of yearto start doing this.”


Doe suggests that many of us are too busy working at earning a living to actually taketime out for living fully. He begins by asking a client, ‘What would you choose to do inyour life if you could do absolutely anything with no limitations, no prospect of failure andno accountability to anyone?’ He is no longer surprised when clients answer this innocentquestion with a long list of what they don’t want to do.

“It seems to be a natural reaction”, he says. “I don’t let them off the hook that easily. Ilisten and keep returning to the positive side of the question. Eventually I will get themto admit to themselves, and often this is for the first time, what it is that they really wantto do.”

Life coaching is a painless procedure that seeks to eliminate limitations, ensure successand allow individuals to take personal responsibility for their own lives. Doe again. “Someclients are amazed at how liberated they feel when they realise that they can and shouldtake control over their own lives. Too many just go with the flow and respond to thepressures of what others think they should do. With coaching they can change from this‘victim’ mentality to one of ‘victor’ thinking. And anyone can do it.”


More/

Evenings


ENDS 500 Words



Release 10 for October publication


Perfect

PLAN YOUR PERFECT CHRISTMAS NOWAs the shops begin to display their full ranges of seasonal gift ideas, they are puttingplans into action that were formulated almost a year ago. For many of us, Christmas isa last minute rush and an expensive time of rampant consumerism and materialism.

John Doe is a professional life coach with a practice in Anytown. He says: “This is a goodtime to start planning your own perfect Christmas. Not in a materialistic sense, but in asense that is measured by contentment and satisfaction.”


Doe suggests that a lot of Christmas stress results from people trusting to luck that‘everything will be alright’ rather than taking control and ensuring that they actually makeeverything as they want it to be. He begins by asking a client, ‘What would you chooseto do in your life if you could do absolutely anything with no limitations, no prospect offailure and no accountability to anyone?’ He is no longer surprised when clients answerthis innocent question with a long list of what they don’t want to do.

“It seems to be a natural reaction”, he says. “I don’t let them off the hook that easily. Ilisten and keep returning to the positive side of the question. Eventually I will get themto admit to themselves, and often this is for the first time, what it is that they really wantto do. This awareness can be the best Christmas present that you can give to yourself.”

It is nowhere near as selfish as it sounds either. According to Doe, all his clients discoverthat, once they have a plan for their life and achievements and are working towards itsfulfilment, all the other areas of their lives improve as well. Partners, relatives andcolleagues alike notice a new sense of purpose, a new enthusiasm and a contagioushappiness. He says: “You may not be able to wrap all this up in pretty paper but evenso, its value is beyond measure.”

More/


Perfect


ENDS 500 WORDS



Release 11 for November publication


Review

YOUR YEAR END REVIEWSome American motivational speakers have a phrase. They refer to their ‘warm fuzzy file’.This may seem a trifle unacceptable to our ears, but the philosophy behind it is certainlysound.

John Doe, a professional life coach with a practice in Anytown explains.”It seems to behuman nature to dwell on mistakes, failures and the negative aspects of life. This isreally sad because we all, without exception, have some achievements that are worthrewarding ourselves for.”

In a few one-hour telephone conversations, at weekly intervals, Doe invites his clients toreview where they are now and where they want to be in the future. Together they createa strategy for getting to where they want to be and define the actions that will producethe desired results. He is quick to point out that the life coach is simply the catalyst. Itis the client who makes the decisions and the commitment. For a great many, the weeklyreporting back of progress is the spur that keeps them on target. For others, even smallachievements can create their motivation to raise their personal goal posts and to aimhigher.

“It seems to be a natural reaction for my clients to focus on what they have not donerather than on what they have done. This is enough to prevent some of them evenattempting anything new if it is allowed to pass unchallenged.”

Doe often gets a laugh when he refers to their warm, fuzzy file. This is simply a list of allthe good things that you have done since your last review. These may be as simple ashaving a daily ‘To Do’ list and then actually doing everything that is on it. They can be assimple as spending some time with someone who is lonely - or smiling at a shopassistant. He says: “This doesn’t exclude the big things too, but if you focus on these itis all too easy to lose sight of those little things that make a big difference to someoneelse.”

As this year draws to a close, Doe suggests that now is the ideal time to undertake yourown warm and fuzzy list. “You will be surprised how helpful it can be when you are havinga day when things seem out of kilter. If you maintain your list regularly you will be amazedat what you have achieved and this will spur you on to do even more.”


Review


ENDS 490 WORDS



Release 12 for December publication


Relationships

A SPECIAL TIME FOR SPECIAL RELATIONSHIPSChristmas is, for many, a time when relationships are foremost in their minds. But forsome, it is a time of deception, when the printed words of peace and love are in directopposition to what they really feel inside.

John Doe, a professional life coach with a practice in Anytown explains: “At this time ofyear, any relationships that are under strain may totally split asunder. As families gathertogether, old animosities and rivalries can bubble to the surface. The mature approachis to just let them go. It takes two people to have a disagreement. If one of them (you),decides that life is too short and makes a personal commitment to let the real happinessand peace that is Christmas become a reality, then there is no more argument. There isno point in winning a series of battles if you can simply end the war.”

In a few one-hour telephone conversations, at weekly intervals, Doe invites his clients toreview their relationships at home, at work and in a social environment. Together theycreate a strategy for repairing any that are suspect and for terminating the few that arebeyond repair. He is quick to point out that the life coach is simply the catalyst. It is theclient who makes the decisions and the commitment. For a great many, the weeklyreporting back of progress is the spur that keeps them on target. For others, even smallachievements can create their motivation. “If you use your energy to perpetuate a feelingof grudge, envy or hurt, then you are using energy that could, and should, be directedtowards more positive things - like building yourself the life that you truly desire.”

Life coaching helps people from all walks of life to take control of their future. Ifrelationships, either intimate or work related, are a cause for concern, your weeklycoaching session can show you a clear way forward.

In coaching there is no blame, no right and no wrong. There is simply an outcome orresult that arises from an action. If you can learn the actions that create harmony andpeace, then the joy of Christmas really will, as the cards say, stay with you throughoutthe rest of the year. As Doe says, “If you want to change somebody else, the only placeyou can begin is with changing yourself. And, the only time you can start is right now.”

More/


Relationships


ENDS 480 WORDS



Appendix 24YOUR PERSONAL BROCHURE

• You really do need an informative brochure to give or send to people who

express an interest in what you do as a Life Coach.

• The following four pages can be personalised with your own name and

contact details and used as an A4 brochure. (A single A3 sheet, printed

both sides and folded in the centre.)

• Another option is to reduce the size by 50% and have it printed as an A5

brochure. (A single A4 sheet printed both sides and folded.)

• If you are not offering corporate coaching, simply delete the sections that

refer to this and replace them with information about personal coaching

and its benefits.

• A simple ‘tri-fold’ brochure is a cheaper option (but it looks cheap too!)

• Your local high street copy shop will be pleased to advise you on your

options.

• If you use more than one colour for print you will add to your cost.

Instead, add colour by asking for a standard tinted paper.

• If you modify this text:-

Never offer more than you can supply.

Be brief, be clear, be accurate, be honest.

Check for spelling errors before you order your printing

Then check again!


This is

LIFE COACHINGBy

(Your Name Here)

‘Of all the personal development and performance improving techniques developed inthe last century, life coaching is one of the newest, the fastest growing and the most

effective. Its popularity stems from its pure simplicity’


‘Life Coaching may not be magic - but the results are certainly magical’

“Everyone, without exception,has a vast potential for

happiness and success, apotential that is all too oftenunexplored. Your life coach

awakens you to the amazingpossibilities that you possess

and shows you how to usethem for the benefits of you,

your family and your employer or staff”

TWIN OPTIONSThe growth of life coaching in the UK hasbeen phenomenal since 1999. This demandhas been fired almost totally by word ofmouth recommendation from people whohave transformed their lives with the help oftheir coach.

INDIVIDUAL COACHING is a one to onerelationship between coach and client. Itusually follows the format of weeklytelephone sessions by prior appointment,each lasting around an hour. Coaching is apractical and holistic process and is totallyresults oriented.

CORPORATE COACHING acknowledges thatany business or company is made up ofindividuals. Unless they all share commonobjectives and buy into the company ethosand culture, there will be a lack ofproductivity. A one to one relationship is stillmaintained but, most corporate coaches willconduct face to face sessions on yourpremises.

HISTORYThe concepts of personal development andself-improvement have their roots in psycho-therapy and first came to public notice in the1930’s with the initial momentum in theUSA.

From then until the mid 1980’s there werefew break-through developments. Mostprocedures retained a degree of ‘therapistand patient’ relationship where the sourceof a trauma or issue was sought to providean indication of the ‘cure’.

This left many individuals with a generalfeeling that ‘there must be something moreto life’. Life coaching evolved toaccommodate this need, once more, themomentum started in the USA.

The new relationship became a partnershipbetween coach and client with each equallyand totally committed to the client’s desiredand stated outcomes.

Unlike therapy or counselling, life coachingstarts from where you are now and helpsyou get to where you want to be.

“When a life coach helps youto

define an action it is not the action itself that is important.

It is the results that derivefrom that action that create

the success.”


‘With coaching, you truly can do, be, do or have anything that you want’

YOUR CORPORATE COACHYour staff are your most valuable resource.It is also true that your company is only asstrong as the weakest link.

Corporate life coaching will encourage staffto per form at the optimum levels ofapplication, enthusiasm and accuracy. As aresult of coaching they will do all thisbecause they want to - not because theyhave to.

Corporate coaching is applied at all levels inyour organisation, from the top executivepost to the person who sorts and deliversthe executive post. True productivity isachieved when every individual is workingfor the good of the organisation and whenthey understand and truly share the aimsand objectives of the company or enterprise.

Interpersonal disputes can be resolved,square pegs can accept round holes, levelsof personal responsibility can be enhancedand, recruitment and retention costs can beslashed with positive cash savings.

‘It was clearly demonstratedthat training alone could

increase productivity by 20 percent - but, when training wascombined with coaching, theproductivity increase was a

massive 80 per cent’

‘People will soon no longer ask“do you have a personal life

coach?” instead, they will ask,“who is your personal life

coach?”

YOUR PERSONAL COACHYour coach brings training, experience, care,skill and absolute confidentiality. You bringany concerns that you have aboutrelationships, values, business, career,finance, personal values, guilt or fear. (Thelist is endless!]

During the early sessions you will worktogether to define your own life plan. Thishas elements of goal setting but, isproactive with an emphasis on goalachievement.

Your coach will help you realise that you trulycan be, do or have anything that you want. Yourcoach will be with you each step of the way asyou turn that realisation into your reality. Theformat of weekly sessions sustains yourenthusiasm and determination to ensure thatthe results are lasting beneficial changes -unlike the temporary ‘high’ that can follow aseminar or motivational talk.

Your coach will lead you through all theareas of your life - mind, body and emotional- without judgement or criticism. The resultswill speak for themselves.


This publication is presented with the compliments of (Your name)

Put a brief note about yourself here.

Include contact numbers - phone, email, address, fax etc.


Appendix 25LETTER & APPRAISAL

Sample Prospecting Letter for you to use as a model and a Personal

Coaching Appraisal to send to clients.

Dear

Are you ready to take your life to the next level?

Do you lack the ‘follow through’ or motivation needed to reach your goals? Maybe youget frustrated by set backs and feel you are not enjoying life as much as you could. Orperhaps you want to make a specific life change and need the courage?

If so, perhaps it’s time you discovered the benefits of personal coaching. Together witha coach you can permanently close the gap between where you are and where youwant to be. If you are discontent with a particular aspect of your life whether it be yourrelationships, career or even your general happiness, I believe I can help you.

I am a professional life coach and my goal is to make sure you reach yours – whateverthey may be. Imagine what you could achieve if you had someone 100% committed toyour success spurring you on every week. Someone who is more than a friend orrelative, someone who won’t be jealous of your ambition and shoot you down,someone who is dedicated to helping you improve every area of your life.

You could benefit from weekly coaching sessions along with email support betweensessions. Our partnership would be entirely confidential and together we’d keep you ontrack and overcome all your personal challenges. Our relationship can last for as longas you need – it’s entirely up to you.

If you would like to find out more about how a personal coach could turn your lifearound please contact me for an initial, FREE and without obligation consultation onYOUR PHONE NUMBER.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Kind regards

YOUR NAME

P.S. During your initial consultation you may wish to use the appraisal overleaf as arough model for the session. If so please complete it, noting any additional points youwish to discuss and have it to hand when you call.


PERSONAL COACHING APPRAISAL

Which of the following statements relates to you? (Please ✓ BOX.)

1. “Circumstances take advantage of me and I’d like it to be the other way

round.” ■■■■

2. “I have come to the end of my career path and realise I want something

more.” ■■■■

3. “I work extremely hard for seemingly little reward and would like to take a

step back and enjoy what I do.” ■■■■

4. “I feel my relationships with people need improving. I would like to be more

in touch with the people around me.” ■■■■

5. “I have been placing all my hopes on a miracle and it hasn’t happened.” ■■■■

6. “I lack self-discipline and would like to take more control of my life.” ■■■■

Please answer the following questions honestly.

1. What do you feel you have been putting up with ?

2. What in life is most important to you?

3. Who is most important to you?

4. What goals have you set aside as unachievable?

5. What personal trait or habit do you most wish to change?

6. What things give you enjoyment?


Appendix 26MARKETING - A5 FLYER

Below is a sample of an A5 FLYER for you to use as a marketing tool to

attract clients.



Weekly Learning Journal SheetWEEK 12 - MARKETING YOUR COACHING SKILLS







coaching skills program

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