Communication and Social Styles

Presenter: Mary Kay Williams 2015 

Today’s session will help you to:• Examine a communication model.• Identify barriers to effective communication.• Discover ways that our perceptions affect

communication . • Complete the social styles inventory to discover your

social styles and gain insight into your behavioral strengths and weaknesses.

Welcome!

Today’s session will help you to:Discover ways that our perceptions affect

communication.Complete the social styles inventory to discover your

interpersonal style and gain insight into your behavioral strengths and weaknesses.

Welcome!

Common & Unique

Draw design on flipchart. In large circle find three

things that are common to everyone in the group.

In each small circle, one thing unique to individual.

3 Thingscommon

Unique

MKWUnique

Unique

UniqueUnique

Miscommunication Exercise

• Describe a recent conversation in which there was a miscommunication.

Why Communication is Important

• Communication is a necessary tool for understanding.

• Miscommunication may actually be a cause of conflict, stress, or misunderstandings.

Communication is Interpersonal

• Communication is a two-way process (sending and receiving) by which ideas are transmitted from one person to another.

Communication is Interpersonal

• Try to accomplish four basic things:– Be understood.

– Understand others.

– Be accepted.

– Get something done.

context

verbal message

Feedback… verbal and non-verbal message

non-verbal message

senderreceiver

interprets message

experienceculture

semanticsvalues

message intent

message contentbarriers

psychological

physiologicalenvironmental

social

Communication Barriers…. 

Communication Barriers• Describe a dog

– Appearance– Size– Personality– Age– Etc.. Etc.

My Girl…

Factors Influencing Communication• Context• Interpretation• Feedback• Barriers• Semantics• Jargon• Acronyms• Others?

Semantics• What are semantics?• The meaning we attach to words.

– “Pass.”– “Cool.”– “Shoot.”– “Hanger.”

Active Listening

• Active listening is a deliberate process through which we seek to understand the true meaning of the conversation and the emotions behind the thoughts.

Active Listening

• Active listeners internalize the speaker’s feelings and try to see things from his or her perspective.

• Active listeners appreciate both the meaning and the feelings behind what the speaker is saying.

Verbal Language

• The words we say/hear.• The actual words we speak.• Not…

– Gestures.– Facial expressions.– Other forms of non-verbal or paralanguage.

Power of Non-verbals• What we see • Difficult to separate the verbal from the

non-verbal.• Frequently unaware of the non-verbal

impressions we are creating.• We are always communicating non-

verbally, whether we intend to or not.• You cannot not communicate

Non-verbal Communication

• Facial expression• Eye contact• Body movement and gestures• Touching behavior• Stance

Non-verbal Communication

• Personal space• Physical appearance• Clothing and jewelry• Physical distance from the other person

With a little practice, we can interpret non-verbals.

Ready?

Paralanguage

Messages we send by “how” we communicate.

Defining Paralanguage

• Communicate many emotions through the voice.

• Paralanguage is the ability of the voice to affect how something is said.

Defining Paralanguage

• Rate of speech• Diction and pronunciation• Tone• Rhythm and inflection• Volume• Use of pauses, hesitation, sighs, fillers

Verbal, Non-verbal, and Paralanguage

• What percent of meaning comes from each of the following?– Verbals _________– Non-verbals _________– Paralanguage _________

7%

55%

38%

100%

Perceptions

• Two or more people looking at the same situation or object may interpret that situation differently.

• Formed by our values, experiences, culture, and expectations.

Perception and Communication

• We form beliefs and knowledge about fellow workers based on our interactions with them.

• We know what the person is like, what he or she will do in a given situation, and how the person views us.

Perception and Communication

• Our “reality” affects what we see and hear and (therefore) how we respond to situations.

• We reject “wrong” information rather than change our beliefs.

Is Perception Reality?

• Al is Mark’s supervisor. They are standing near the water cooler and, with loud voices and strong gestures, they are talking to each other.

• If you don’t hear what they are saying, what might you conclude?

Is Perception Reality?

• They are angry with each other.• They are shouting and gesturing because

their work environment is noisy.• One may draw an inaccurate conclusion.• Maybe they both came from a culture

where loud speaking and constant gesturing is the norm.

Social Styles

What is Social Style?

• Social style is a pattern of typical actions that others can observe and agree upon to describe usual behavior.

• Can lead to better communication• Better relationships.• Behavioral model that helps people better

understand themselves and others.

What is Social Style?

• Social style is not “personality.”• Social style refers to observable behaviors.• Social style is not absolute – it is a matter of

degree.• Most people behave predictably. Behavior

is not random.• There is no one best style.

Personality Pie

• Behavior – what you say and do.• Interpersonal behavior – what you say

and do when you interact with one or more people.

• Social style – a pattern of actions.• Personality – combination of ideas,

values, hopes, dreams, attitudes, abilities and behavior.

Assertiveness

• A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to ask or tell in interactions with others.

Assertiveness

Asks Tells

Assertiveness Behaviors

• Pace of speech.• Quantity of speech.• Volume of speech.• Use of hands.• Body posture.• Eye contact.

Responsiveness

• A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to control or display their feelings and emotions when interacting.

Responsiveness

Emotes

Controls

Responsiveness Behaviors

• Emotion in voice.• Subjects of speech.• Use of hands.• Body posture.• Facial expression.

Social Style Model

Attributes

• Drivers – independent, formal, practical, dominating.

• Expressives – animated, forceful, opinionated, impulsive.

• Amiables – dependable, supportive, pliable, open.

• Analyticals – serious, exacting, indecisive, logical.

Driver

• Direct and to the point.• Tell rather than ask.• Act with confidence and authority.• Move quickly; get down to business.• Value results.• Seem impatient.

Driver

• Make quick decisions.• Action-oriented.• Take risks without having all the

information.• Well-organized to get results.• Aggressive in getting goals accomplished.

Drivers in the extreme…

• Are impulsive.• May be too autocratic.• Can be insensitive.• Don’t listen.• Use too little caution.• Pressure others to reach unrealistic

deadlines.

Drivers need to work on…

• Listening to others.• Controlling the need to control.• Slowing down.

Expressive

• Outgoing and gregarious…involve others.• Talks easily to others upon first meeting.• Spends time developing relationships.• Very talkative.• Very persuasive.• Entertaining and upbeat.

Expressive

• Irritated with others who “aren’t fun.”• Avoids facts and details.• Speaks with inflection, facial expression,

gestures.• Enthusiastic.• Displays feelings openly.

Expressives in the extreme…

• May be too spontaneous.• May lose focus and not follow through.• Talk too much.• Don’t listen enough.• May overlook facts or deadlines.

Expressives need to work on…

• Paying attention to details.• Avoid deep involvement with people too

quickly.• Self-discipline.

Amiable

• Ask others for preferences.• Support others.• Very good listeners.• Like to think and plan.• “People first.”

Amiable

• Avoid issues that cause conflict.• Preserve positive relationships.• High concern for others’ emotional needs.• Tone and expressions are soft.• Display emotions openly.• Use people stories to illustrate.

Amiables in the extreme…

• Try too hard to please others.• May be too cautious.• May refuse to deviate from “the plan.”• Avoid conflicts that need to be confronted.

Amiables need to work on…

• Being more assertive when warranted.• Dealing with change.• Being more decisive.

Analytical

• Wait until asked before sharing information.• Easy to get along with; dislike confrontation.• Get right to the task at hand. • Keep feelings close.• Want all the facts.

Analytical

• Wants logic and structure. • Worries about skipping details.• Few gestures or facial expressions.• Speaks slowly and evenly with little

inflection.

Analyticals in the extreme…

• Are perfectionists.• Are critical of themselves and others.• Proceed too cautiously.• Are nitpickers.• Too rules-bound.

Analyticals need to work on…

• Not becoming paralyzed by data.• Making quicker decisions.• Sharing concerns.• Sharing feelings.• Being less self-critical.

In This Corner…

• What’s great about your style? • What’s challenging about your style?• What’s one thing about your opposite

social style that drives you nuts?• What’s one thing about your opposite

social style that you appreciate?

Drivers – “No excuses, please…”

• Style need – results. • Style orientation – action.• Style growth action – to listen.

Expressives – “I have an idea…”

• Style need – personal approval. • Style orientation – spontaneity.• Style growth action – to check.

Amiables – “Let’s get along…”

• Style need – personal security. • Style orientation – relationships.• Style growth action – to initiate.

Analyticals – “Just the facts…”

• Style need – to be right. • Style orientation – thinking.• Style growth action – to declare.

Relationship Lessons Learned

• We differ in our willingness to speak or solicit ideas from others.

• We differ in our willingness to take charge.

• We differ in our comfort in expressing feelings.

Relationship Lessons Learned

• We use different approaches to influence people.

• We have differing expectations at work about how to make decisions.

• We differ about what is most important.

Reflections

Closing Thoughts…

• Good communication is difficult.• Your perceptions affect your

interpretation.• What’s one thing you will work on to

improve your communication?• What’s one thing you will work on based

on your social styles?