community links issue 165

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FeaturesOctober 8, 2010

Did You AskTo be Born?

"Now," instructed the wise man,"you may each select for your-selves any one of these gifts. Thechoice is yours--take any packageyou desire."

Yanki Tauber

NoachThe Mirror Effect

So, if G-d plans things so that weshould be in a particular place, at aparticular time, and notice a specificthing, it is because it’s important forus to pay attention to it, learn from it,and incorporate the G-dliness within it.

Rabbi Reuven Wolf

The RainMakerThe obvious questionis how can we say that Noachlacked, even to a tiny extent, faith?

Parshas NoachRabbi Mordechai Kaminetsky

Fight ing For The Li fe Of A Chi ld

We all want to see an end to cancer.We want to see an end to heart dis-ease. And we want to see an end tocrippling conditions and genetic dis-orders which impact our children.

Dr. Robert Rome

community links • Volume 6 Issue 165

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Fighting For The

Life Of A Child

By Robert J. Rome, Ph.D.


We just concluded a seasonwhere we focused on prayingfor life. I have one more

group for which I would like to pray forlife, the lives of those children with chal-lenges at birth.

I have worked the past 26 years as apsychologist in the field of Child Devel-opment. This work has included work-ing with families who have seen theirprayers for the ability to have childrenfulfilled as well as with families with chil-dren who are born with or who developdevelopmental problems or concerns. Ihave seen parents who do everythingthey can and pay whatever is necessaryto save a child born prematurely at 22weeks. When I first started working inthis field several decades ago, the lowestviable age for a fetus to survive a prema-ture birth was seen as 26 weeks into thepregnancy. Now, a few decades later,after the hard work of courageous doc-tors and parents, and after medicalbreakthroughs in procedures and care,children frequently survive when bornat 21 weeks gestation. I have heard of achild actually surviving and later becom-ing a fully average child, after birth atonly 19 weeks gestation. Miraculousthings happen!

As I have worked with either parents(prospective or current) or with childrendirectly, I have witnessed one great com-mon reality and realization: All life isprecious and special. Because of the ap-preciation of a young child’s life and thedecision to fight for life, premature chil-dren often go on to lead fully capablelives. Mothers who were seen as inca-pable of carrying pregnancies to termnow are blessed with children. Whenyou visit a school and observe the chil-dren studying and playing, you mostoften cannot tell the difference betweenthose children who had been prematureand those whose mothers carried themto term.

However, sometimes, you do observe

differences among children. Some chil-dren are born with or later develop con-ditions which cause them to have delaysin their development and other similarconcerns. Premature children may havevision or hearing deficits. They mayhave motor deficits. Some children,even those born at full term, have ge-netic concerns which lead to disorders,syndromes, and other conditions.Sometimes, the problems are not seen atbirth or in the very early years. Certainproblems later develop. Even when achild is born healthy, problems mayoccur later.

“Medical science” often has as its goalthe outright elimination of illnesses andother conditions which negatively mayimpact us. We all want to see an end tocancer. We want to see an end to heartdisease. And we want to see an end tocrippling conditions and genetic disor-ders which impact our children.

Physicians have developed techniquesto detect potential problems in the earlystages of pregnancy. The thought is thatwhen caught early, a pregnancy whichmay produce a child with a “defect” canbe terminated through an abortion (thisis not a thought that I generally agreewith). Amniocentesis is one of the pro-cedures used to look for possible geneticconditions which may impact the devel-opment of the fetus into a child. The“amnio” studies the genetic structureand chromosomes of the developingfetus to look for certain genetic abnor-malities. One of the conditions specifi-cally checked is Down Syndrome. Thefetus is checked for the genetic structurewhich is at the basis of this conditionand others. Some doctors see abortingthe fetus as the likely outcome whenDown Syndrome is discovered. Thechild will never be born. Others suggestthat even when parents choose to havea child with Down Syndrome after anamnio that they can be better preparedknowing this in advance.

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Within the Jewish community, thereis another step which is suggested(even, I am told, required by somerabbis before the rabbis will performa wedding) and that is genetic screen-ing of the bride and groom prior tothe wedding. Many disorders requireboth the bride and the groom to eachhave the gene or trait which will leadto a condition or disorder. Prospec-tive brides and grooms are separatelytested. When both partners have asuspected gene and would likely pro-duce a child with a potentially horren-dous condition, the couple is thenseen as incompatible and the relation-ship is to be broken. There is toogreat a likelihood of an offspringbeing born to that couple which mayhave a major disorder or condition.Many times, those who choose tobegin serious dating will be testedeven before finding a “beshert..” Soas not to fall in love with a partnerwith whom they share a negative geneor trait, the test results of the couplemay be compared even prior to theengagement or even before dating be-gins.

There is one major problem, how-ever. What determines whether a dis-ease, disorder, or syndrome is placedon the diagnostic list to be checked?What if there are medical break-throughs which change the very char-acter of the disease or condition,permitting those afflicted with thecondition to lead increasingly normallives?

A case in point is the condition ofCystic Fibrosis, a condition which inprevious generations led to a life ex-pectancy of less than 10 years asgrowths literally took over the lungs.Even while a young child lived, spe-

cial treatment and breathing machineswere needed. The 10 years of lifewere often described as a “living hell.”This was and remains a horrendouscondition. As such, the gene whichis associated with Cystic Fibrosis is onthe list of predispositions to check inthe bride and groom. If both brideand groom have the trait, it is consid-ered best that they don’t even marry.

However, there have been changesin recent years in the course of CysticFibrosis. Many who have this condi-tion will now live well into their 30’s.The life led by those with the disorderis improving with new treatments.While this is not a disease that anyonewould want, individuals with CysticFibrosis may lead very meaningfullives.

Recently, two sisters, both with Cys-tic Fibrosis, were finalists on theAmerica’s Got Talent TV show.These beautiful teenage girls sing withmost angelic voices. They were se-lected as finalists not because of theirmedical condition, but because in theentire competition, they were amongthe most talented. The smiles on thefaces of these girls as they sang lit upthe audiences both in the perform-ance theater and at home.

Would it have been better if thesegirls had been aborted during thepregnancies of the mother? Would ithave even been better if the parentshad never gotten married becauseeach parent had the trait for Cystic Fi-brosis? My answer: These girls makea difference. Their lives are meaning-ful. They touch others. The worldwould be a poorer place withoutthem. What a loss it would have beento the world if they had never beenborn because their parents had been

forbidden to marry.

I don’t lessen the difficulties associ-ated with raising a child with DownSyndrome. However, I have had theprivilege to work with both childrenand adults with Down Syndrome.The zest for life and the joy of livingwere basic to many of those diag-nosed with this syndrome. So manywith Down Syndrome have goodfriendships. Many work in the com-munity. The world is indeed a betterplace because these children andadults were brought into the world.

I just don’t get it. How did we everget to this point where we would pre-vent or terminate the births of indi-viduals who may contribute so much?

If doctors had known that RayCharles would become blind, wouldthey have advised the mother toabort? What a loss that would havebeen! We need to remember that in-dividuals who make uniquely specialcontributions often come in all kindsof sizes, shapes, and conditions. Wemust remember that the foremostphysicist in the world who has con-tributed so much to our knowledgeabout the world is actually confinedto a wheelchair needing basic supportfor so many life functions. Would theworld have been better if StephenHawking had not been born? Ofcourse not.

Doctors sometimes do not look be-yond genetic structure. Childrenborn with abnormal genes are seen asabnormal. Abnormal unfortunatelyis seen as synonymous with “notworthy of living.”

We need to change these attitudesand fight for the lives of these oftenuniquely special children. •

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California. He can be reached at [email protected]


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Every letter of the Torah is pre-cise, rich with meaning and con-taining myriads of deep lessons.We must therefore understandwhy the Torah describes the inci-dent of Noah’s intoxication withwhat seems to be superfluous lan-guage.

Soon after he emerged from theark, Noah planted a vineyard andmade wine. “And he drank of thewine and became drunk, and he uncov-ered himself within his tent. And Ham,

the father of Canaan, saw his father'snakedness, and he told his two brothersoutside. And Shem and Japheth tookthe garment, and they placed [it] on bothof their shoulders, and they walkedbackwards, and they covered their fa-ther's nakedness, and their faces wereturned backwards, so that they did notsee their father's nakedness.” (Genesis9: 21-23)

After the Torah tells us that thesons of Noah walked backwardsinto his tent, why does the Torahrepeat itself and state again thatafter they covered him “their faceswere turned backwards, so that they didnot see their father's nakedness?” It isquite clear that they didn’t see any-thing, because the Torah alreadysaid that they weren’t looking!This repetitive language must becoming to teach us somethingunique and profound.

A great teaching of the HolyBaal Shem Tov is quoted in thefirst Chassidic book ever printed,the Toldos Yaakov Yosef, byRabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polnoye:When one notices a fault or flaw

in another individual, it’s like look-ing into a mirror; it’s really one’sown faults and inequities that arebeing noticed. When we perceiveshortcomings and deficiencies inthe people around us, we see thethings that we ought to be repair-ing within ourselves.

G-d doesn’t show us our ownnegativity directly because wewouldn’t notice it that way – wearen’t capable of objectively rec-ognizing our own faults. Our lovefor ourselves is too strong – lovecovers all transgressions and weare blinded. So, when we see neg-ativity in others, we can be moreobjective about it and can wonderwhy G-d showed it to us, and re-alize that we must learn from itand improve ourselves.

This is a very powerful idea thatseems impossible or unrealistic.Do we have to be naive and be-lieve that everyone else in theworld is perfect, and we are theonly sinners? We know that every-one has some deficiencies; thereisn’t anyone that hasn’t sinned insome way. This is especially truewhen it comes to ordinary people,those that are not tzaddikim.

Delving deeper into the BaalShem Tov’s teachings, we find thathe also teaches that everything aperson sees or hears is meant tobe taken as a lesson in the serviceof G-d. This includes everything weperceive with our senses, eventrivial things. Every incident thatone sees, or even hears about, isG-d speaking to us, making usaware of something, so thatsomehow, we can better ourselvesand fulfill our mission in thisworld.

The idea that nothing happensin vain stems from a third teachingof the Baal Shem Tov – regardingthe degree of Hashgacha Pratis/Di-vine Providence that exists withinthe world. Even before the BaalShem Tov, the sages taught thatnothing is coincidental; everythingeverywhere is orchestrated byG-d at every moment.

The Baal Shem Tov describedthis Divine Providence in detail.He explained that it involves eventhe tiniest aspects of creation, in-cluding those that don’t involvehumanity. When the wind blows,the Baal Shem Tov explains, and aleaf is turning over on a tree, G-ddictates the exact number of timesit will turn over before it’s blownoff and where exactly it falls onthe ground. These details aremeticulously planned and calcu-lated by G-d for every leaf, duringevery wind. This type of Divineorchestration and direction appliesto everything within every mo-ment of creation.

So, if G-d plans things so thatwe should be in a particular place,at a particular time, and notice aspecific thing, it is because it’s im-portant for us to pay attention toit, learn from it, and incorporatethe G-dliness within it.

It follows that if we notice aflaw in another human being, itmust be that G-d wants us to no-tice it. Furthermore, G-d is specif-ically pointing it out to us. Ofcourse, G-d is all powerful and forHim, there is no such thing as acoincidence or an uncontrollablecircumstance. If a person walkson Fifth Avenue in New York,sharing the street with thousands

NoachThe Mirror Effect


of other people, G-d’s DivineProvidence dictates that not onlydoes this person need to be thereat that exact moment, but all ofthe other people also need to bethere, and moreover, that all ofthem need be there together justthat way, at that very moment!

This is clear from the fact thatwe notice only a minute portionof the multitudes of things thathappen around us. Why do cer-tain things stand out, when otherthings don’t even seem to exist?It’s because G-d decrees thateach person sees only those spe-cific things that G-d wants thatperson to see. For example, if aman walks in the street with hiswife and she notices somethingthat he doesn’t, and later she tellsher husband about it, it’s becauseshe needed to see it and heneeded to hear about it.

According to this reasoning, it’sclear that when we see negativityin another, it’s because G-d wantsus to see it, and He wants us toenrich our service of Himthrough that experience. How-ever, why does it mean that theother person’s negativity reflectsour own? Perhaps G-d is show-ing us the negativity in order thatwe should help or even rebukeour fellow? The Torah statesclearly that it is a mitzvah to edu-cate and rebuke another person(in the proper fashion, and if itwill have a positive effect.) Con-ceivably, G-d is showing us thenegativity to enable us to help theother person. How can the BaalShem Tov say, without question,that when we see the negativity itis because we definitely have the

same within ourselves, and weneed to fix it?

The Talmud (Pesachim 3A) dis-cusses Torah’s use of refined lan-guage and concludes that,whenever possible, the Torahuses the most refined languagepossible, avoiding negativity, un-less absolutely necessary.

For example, in this week’s por-tion, when G-d instructed Noahregarding the animals for the ark,the Torah says (Genesis 7:2) “Ofall the clean animals you shall take foryourself seven pairs, a male and itsmate, and of the animals that are notclean, two, a male and its mate.” Whywrite “the animals that are not clean”instead of simply “unclean ani-mals” or “impure animals?”

The sages in the Talmud ex-plain that it is not necessary touse coarse or negative languagewhen refined wording can deliverthe same message. The Torahdoes, however, use the clearestand most direct language when itpronouncing a verdict or law.When it comes to knowing howto behave, or what status an ob-ject may hold, the Torah makes itas clear as possible. If somethingor someone we interact with maybe impure, defiled or forbidden,we must know exactly what weare dealing with, and in these cir-cumstances, the Torah does notrefine the language.

For example, in the portion ofShemini, where the Torah dis-cusses which animals are kosherand which are non-kosher, it saysso explicitly. Similarly, in the por-tions of Tazriah and Metzora, inregards to impurities that a per-son might contract, the Torah

also uses plain language. This oc-curs in many other places as well.

The Talmud concludes thateven in cases where the Torah isteaching us a law, but first de-scribes the circumstances the ledup to the law, the story of the cir-cumstances are also delivered inthe most refined manner. It isonly when the Torah pronouncesa verdict that it uses explicit lan-guage. The sages explain that wemust therefore also strive to re-fine our speech, and speak as gra-ciously as possible.

When the Torah recounts theincident of Noah and the wine, itis teaching us that not onlyshould our speech be pure, butour vision and our perspectivemust also remain refined.

When we see something nega-tive in another person, there aretwo ways to perceive it. The firstperspective is a call to action, oneof “that person has a problem,and it needs to be fixed.” Theother is a judgment similar to“that person is lowly and disgust-ing.”

A common example of theseperspectives can be observedwhen people sit in a room, per-haps at a party or a lecture, and atoddler with a soiled diaper runsaround in the background. Gen-erally, there are two reactions.Most people in the room willthink or say “Why is this smellychild running around, stinking upthe room?” On the other hand,when the mother notices herbaby, she doesn’t sense that thechild is smelly or dirty. To her, thesmell is simply an alarm, a call toaction – “a diaper needs to be


changed.” Once the diaper ischanged and thrown away, shedoesn’t even remember the smell.She didn’t and never will think thatshe has a “smelly child.” She saw aproblem and she fixed it, forgotabout it and went on with her life.

The Baal Shem Tov is teachingus that when G-d shows us some-thing askew with another person,and we approach it as a call to ac-tion, and an opportunity to fix aproblem to the best of our abili-ties, then we have accomplishedwhat was necessary. If, however,beyond the opportunity to helpanother person, there is a judg-ment or a lingering of negativity,then what we are seeing is our owninadequacy, one which the otherperson has indicated exists withinourselves. This is the mirror inwhich we are seeing our ownfaults.

This lesson is demonstrated bythe sons of Noah. When Shem

and Japeth heard about the statetheir father was in, they immedi-ately recognized that there was aproblem that they needed to ad-dress. “…they walked backwards, andthey covered …and their faces wereturned backwards, so that they did notsee their father's nakedness.” Evenafter they covered Noah, they stilldid not ‘see’ any negativity withintheir father, only the problem thatneeded attention.

Ham, on the other hand, was thefirst of the brothers to see Noahin his shameful state, and he had adifferent reaction. “And Ham, thefather of Canaan, saw his father'snakedness…“ He didn’t see a prob-lem that needed a solution, he sawnegativity, and ran to tell his broth-ers about it. Within Ham lingereda corrupt passion, so he identifiedthe negativity within Noah and fo-cused on it. His brothers werecompletely devoid of any traces ofit, and didn’t see it at all.

In our daily lives, we can applythese powerful lessons when werelate with or rebuke others. Weshouldn’t feel justified in walkingaround pointing out the faults ofthose around us. We should onlysee our own faults, and know thatif we see imperfections in otherpeople, it’s only our own problemsthat we are seeing in the mirror.When we see a problem, and onlya problem, we can fix it to the ben-efit of the other person. The mo-ment it goes beyond that, it’s ourown fault that needs correction.

If we can recognize and remem-ber this when we interact with oth-ers, we will have healthier andhappier friendships, marriages andrelationships with all of the peoplearound us. When the Jewish peo-ple live together in peace and har-mony we bring closer the finalredemption. May it come veryquickly!

Excerpt from "The Parsha In My Life" class by Rabbi Reuven Wolf. Maayon Yisroel was founded by Rabbi Reuven Wolf, a renowned educator and inspiring lecturer who has devoted his life to reaching

out and rekindling the spirit of Yiddishkeit in his fellow Jew. Over the past five years Rabbi Wolf has been teaching a 2-4 hour class onthe weekly Parsha, named affectionately "The Thursday Night Shiur".

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PARSHAS NOACH


Noach lived through trying times to say the least. He survived not only a generation of spiritual chaos,but physical annihilation as well. However, Hashem walked with him and guided him. He instructedhim every step of the way. He warned him of the impending flood. He instructed him to build an

ark. He told him to bring all the animals to the ark. Yet Noach is labeled as a man who was lacking in faith. The Torahtells us that, "Noach with his wife and sons and his son's wives with him, went into the ark because of the waters of the Flood" (Genesis7:6).

Rashi quotes a Midrash which proclaims that Noach, to a small degree, lacked faith as he only entered the ark "becauseof the waters of the Flood." The implication is that Noach did not enter the ark until the rain forced him to.

The obvious question is how can we say that Noach lacked, even to a tiny extent, faith? He had to believe! After all,he spoke to Hashem! He built the ark! He gathered all the animals! He was the only one in his generation to worryabout the impending doom! Surely, he must have believed! Why is there a complaint against Noach? What is wrong inwaiting until he had no choice but to enter? To what degree is he considered lacking in faith?

Rabbi Shimshon Sherer, Rav of Congregation Kehilas Zichron Mordechai, tells the following story.

In a small town there was a severe drought. The community synagogues each prayed separately for rain, but to noavail. The tears and prayers failed to unlock the sealed heavens, and for months, no rains came.

Finally, the town's eldest sage held a meeting with prominent community rabbis and lay leaders. "There are two itemslacking in our approach, faith and unity. Each one of you must impress upon his congregation the need to believe. Ifwe are united and sincere, our prayers will be answered!" He declared that all the synagogues in the city would join to-gether for a day of tefilah. Everyone, men women and children would join together for this event. "I assure you," heexclaimed, "that if we meet both criteria - faith and unity - no one will leave that prayer service without gettingdrenched!"

There was no shul large enough to contain the entire community so the date was set to gather and daven in a field!For the next few weeks all the rabbis spoke about bitachon and achdus (faith and unity). On the designated day theentire town gathered in a large field whose crops had long withered from the severe drought. Men, women, and childrenall gathered and anxiously awaited the old sage to begin the service.

The elderly rabbi walked up to the podium. His eyes scanned the tremendous crowd that filled the large field andthen they dimmed in dismay. The rabbi began shaking his head in dissatisfaction. "This will never work," he moaneddejectedly. "The rain will not come." Slowly he left the podium. The other rabbis on the dais were shocked. "But rebbeeveryone is here and they are all united! Surely they must believe that the rains will fall! Otherwise no one would havebothered to come on a working day!"

The rabbi shook his head slowly and sadly.

"No. They don't really believe," he stated. "I scanned the entire crowd. Nobody even brought a raincoat."

The level of faith that the Torah demanded from Noach would have had him bolt into the ark on the very morningthat the Flood was meant to come. He had no inkling of the ferocity that was impending at the storm's first moments.Though it began as a light rainstorm his waiting until being forced by the torrents is equivalent to one who hears pre-dictions of a tornado and stands outside waiting for the funnel to knock at his door. Noach should have moved himselfand his family in the ark at zero hour without waiting for the rains to force him in. The instinctive faith should havekicked in turning the bright sunny day that he may have experienced into one that is filled with fatal flood water. Buthe waited to see if it would really come. And for that he is chided.

How often do we cancel plans or change a course of action on the say-so of the weatherman, but plan our activitiesso in contrast with the predictions of the Torah? Even Noach, who built the ark under intense pressure, is held ac-countable for the lack of instinctive faith that should have been interred in his bones. And on that level of faith, un-fortunately, all of us are a little wet behind the ears. •

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky


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I Too Was Struck


9-11 It’s not just a number any-

more. It’s one of those days I’m surenone of us will ever forget. I’m certainmany can recall with vivid detail wherethey were and what they did that morningand to whom they spoke as the horrorunfolded.

I remember talking with a friend inBoston trying to sort out the magnitudeof the event when my hand gravitated al-most instinctively to a Chumash and Ifound myself opening to a verse in thisweek’s Torah portion. It was something Ihad seen years earlier in a Sefer inJerusalem. Since then I had purchased myown set of this commentary. I could nothave grasped the full implication of thosewords until this terrifying moment.

Writes the Zohar Niglah on the wordsof Avraham, “If only Ishmael would live be-fore you” (Breishis 17:18): Rebbi Chiagroaned and cried. He opened up andsaid: “And Sara was barren and she had nochild bearing capacity” (Breishis 11:30). Woeabout this and woe about that time thatallowed Hagar to give birth to Ishmael.Rabbi Yossi interjected, “Why cry? Saradid give birth afterwards and there was toher a holy branch!”

Rebbi Chia answered him, “You see andI see and so I heard from the mouth ofRabbi Shimon Bar Yochai on this subjectand it’s about this I wail. Woe to that timeperiod that because Sara was preventedfrom having children she said to Avram,“Come to my handmaid”. And becauseof that an opportunity manifested forHagar to disinherit Sara her mistress, andthere was to her a son from Avraham andAvraham said, “If only Ishmael wouldlive before you!” And even though TheHoly One Blessed Be He had announcedto him about Yitzchak, Avraham clung toIshmael until The Holy One Blessed BeHe answered, “And regarding Ishmael, Ihave heard you!” And afterwards he cir-cumcised him before Yitzchak ever cameinto the world.”

Come and see that for four hundredyears the Arch-Angel of Ishmael, pleadedbefore the Holy One, Blessed Be He. Hesaid, “Someone who is circumcised, doeshe not have a portion in Your name?” Hesaid to him, “Yes!” So he said, “Ishmaelis circumcised. Why does he not have aportion in You like Yitzchak?” He an-swered him, “Yitzchak is circumcised ina fitting and proper way and this one isnot. And not only that but these onescleave to me appropriately from eightdays while those remain distant for a longperiod of time (13 years).” He said againto Him, “Even still since these ones arecircumscribed should there not be somegood reward for them?”

Woe about this time that Ishmael wasborn and circumcised. “What did theHoly One Blessed Be He do? He pushedIshmael from a higher attachment and Hegave him a portion of holiness in thelower world (the land of Israel) becauseof his circumcision. In the future, thechildren of Ishmael will rule over theHoly Land all the time that it is emptyand desolate because their circumcisionis empty and without perfection. Andthey will prevent the Children of Israelfrom returning to their place, up until thetime when the merit of the Children ofIshmael expires. And in the future theChildren of Ishmael will awaken power-ful wars in the world, and the Children ofEdom (Western Civilization) will make acoalition against them and will arouse awar against them…”

The Zohar continues. It’s not all prettybut we know how everything ends. Now,go and write an accurate book tellingabout events sixteen hundred years fromnow. Try for fifty years. Tell us whatcountries or families will dominate. Whowill be relevant? All the depth analysis inthe knowable world could not yield amodestly reliable report. Who could pos-sibly have known these things?! The daythose planes struck it was as if the wordsof the Zohar walked off the page and Itoo was struck. •

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky


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Once upon a timethere was a villagefull of disgruntled

people. All day long they walkedaround with these sour faces, each be-moaning his troubles, each jealous ofher neighbor's successes.

One day, a wise old man arrived inthe village. He assembled them all inthe village square and said to them: "Iwant you each to go and bring yourmost precious possession, the thingyou cherish most in your life, andplace it here in middle of the square."Soon there was a large pile of bundlesand packages, of all shapes and sizes,in the center of the village square.

"Now," instructed the wise man,"you may each select for yourselvesany one of these gifts. The choice isyours--take any package you desire."

Every man, woman and child in thevillage did exactly the same thing.Each chose his own bundle.

The Torah, as we all know, begins atthe beginning, describing G-d's cre-ation of the heavens and the earth,the continents and the oceans, vege-tation and animal life. Then, in its26th verse, we proceed to the creationof man. "And G-d said," we read,"Let us make man in our image, afterour likeness..."

Let us? Up to this point--and fromhere on through the rest of theTorah--G-d is spoken of as the ulti-mate singularity. He is the Boss, theexclusive source and mover of all. Butin this single instance, there is an "us,"a choir of opinions, a supernal board-room before which the Creator placesa proposal and asks for approval.

With whom did G-d consult whenHe desired to create the humanbeing? Our sages offer a number ofexplanations. One is that G-d askedthe angels, so as to temper their latercriticisms of the failings of mortalman. Another explanation is thatG-d was involving all elements of theuniverse, or all aspects of His infi-nitely potentialed being, in the forma-tion of the multi-faceted soul of man.All these explanations, of course,raise at least as many questions as theyanswer. Indeed, it is regarding thisparticular verse that the sages havestated: "The Torah says it thus; any-one who wishes to misunderstand, lethim misunderstand..." Obviously,there is an important message here tous--important enough that the Torahinsists on this particular phraseologydespite the fact that it allows for (en-

Did You Ask ToBe Born?


courages?) misunderstanding.

But there is one interpretation ofthis verse which presents us with aconundrum of a paradox. TheMidrash offers the following expla-nation: "With whom did He consult?With the souls of the righteous."G-d is asking a council of humansouls if He should create the humansoul!

The plot thickens. Who are these"righteous" (tzaddikim) with whomG-d consulted? According to theprophet Isaiah, "Your people are alltzaddikim." We each posses the soulof a tzaddik (regardless of the extentto which we allow its expression). Inother words, G-d asked each andevery one of us if we desire to becreated, if we choose to accept thechallenge of earthly life. Only thendid He proceed to create us.

If asking a soul whether it wants to

be created sounds like a catch-22, thisparadox in fact resolves a muchdeeper paradox--the paradox of Di-vine decree and human choice.

G-d is forever telling us what todo. Indeed, the very word Torahmeans "instruction," and that's basi-cally what the Torah is: a series of in-structions from on high. And yet weare told that "a fundamental principleof the Torah" is that "freedom ofchoice has been granted to man."What exactly are our choices, if G-dis constantly instructing us?

The question runs deeper. Let usassume that, in any given situation,under any set of circumstances, thechoice is ours as to how we shouldact. But what kind of choice is this,if no one asked us if we want to bein that situation and under those setof circumstances in the first place?What kind of "choice" is there, if we

didn't choose whether or not weshould be presented with thatchoice?

So the Torah reveals to us thisamazing secret: that ultimate choicewas made by us, before we even ex-isted. Before G-d emanated your souland breathed it into your body, youwere asked if you should be. So inevery situation in which you findyourself, in every challenge you facein your life--you are there becauseyou chose to be placed in that life.

We go through life complaining, "Ididn't ask to be born...!" But a thou-sand times a day we refute that claim.With countless choices and actions,we affirm that the life we have is thelife we want.

Of course we do. After all, wechose it. •

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In a 4-quart stockpot on medium heat, saute the onionsand garlic with the olive oil, oregano, salt, and pepperuntil the onions are translucent, 10 to 15 minutes. Addthe carrots, potatoes, 1/2 pound of split peas, andchicken stock. Bring to a boil, then simmer uncovered for40 minutes. Skim off the foam while cooking. Add theremaining split peas and continue to simmer for another40 minutes, or until all the peas are soft. Stir frequentlyto keep the solids from burning on the bottom. Taste forsalt and pepper. Serve hot.

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8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 888-7700

Jeffs Gourmet Kehila

8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 858-8590

Kosher Chicks RCC

186081/2Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, 91356

(818) 343-8800

La Gondola Kehila

9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211

(310) 247-1239

La Glatt RCC

446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036

(323) 658-7730

Mashu Mashu RCC

12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607

(818)752-ASIA (2742)

Metro Glatt RCC

8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 275-4420

Nagilla Meating Place Kehila


(310) 788-0119

Orange Delight Kehila

13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423

(818) 788-9896

Pats Kehila

9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 205-8705

Pico Kosher Deli RCC


(310) 273-9381

Pita Way RCC

8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 652-5236

Sassis Kehila

15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436

(818) 986-5345

Shanghai Kehila

9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 553-0998

Shilohs Kehila

8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 858-1652

Subway Kehila

8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 274-1222

Schnitzle Kehila

9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 786-8282

Temptation Grill Kehila

17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316

(818) 995-4700

The Meating Place KCA

30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301

(818) 706-1255

Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery ou

3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard

(818) 752-6866

Smokin’ Rabbi Furst

12514 Burbank Boulevard, Valley

Village, CA 91607

(805) 983-1560

Beverly Cafe Elite RCC


(323) 931-3563

Bibis Warmstone Kehila

8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 246-1788

Bramis Pizza RCC

17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326

(818) 342-0611

Café Del Mar Dairy Kehila

12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607

(818) 487-8171

Circa RCC

8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles

(310) 854-0592

Delice Kehila

8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 289-6556

Fish Grill Kehila


(323) 937-7162

12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025

(310) 479-1800

9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 860-1182

22935 Pacific Coast Highway

(310) 456-8585

Jerusalem Pizza Kehila

17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316

(818) 758-9595

La Brea Bagel Kehilla


(323) 965-1287

La Pizza Rabbi Furst

12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 760-8198

Milk N Honey RCC

8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035

(310) 858-8850

Milky Way Kehila

9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 859-0004

Nagilla Pizza Kehila


(310) 788-0111

Nana Cafe RCC

1509 S Robertson Blvd.

(310) 407-0404

Pico Cafe Kehila

8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

310-385-9592

Pizza Maven Kehila

140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036

(323) 857-0353

Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel

30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301

(818) 991-3000

Pizza Station Kehila

8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 276-8708

Pizza World Kehila

365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036

(323) 653-2896

Sassis Sushi Kehila

16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436

(818) 783-2727

Shalom Pizza RCC


(310) 271-2255

Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin

18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana

(818) 757-3100

HUMMUS KING Kehilla

12422 BURBANK BLVD.

VALLEY VILLAGE 91607

818.509.7999

Fish In The Village RCC

12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 769-0085

Le Sushi RCC

12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607

(818) 763-6600

SushiKo RCC


(310) 274-3474

DINING GUIDE

MEAT

DAIRY

PAREVE

Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544

Rach

elAd

lerD

esign.co

m

www.clparenting.com p [

Call now to hear a preview of our 35 session course, and for program details.

718.819.3020

CHANOCH LNAARA UNIQUE PARENTING COURSEgiven by MRS. DINA FRIEDMANListen at your convenience via teleconference, telephone, or online.

Treat yourself to an amazing experience that will transform your life forever! This course will take you on an inspirational journey of growth and self improvement. Discover the pleasure of parenting with confidence, as you learn new skills and techniques that really work. Come join the thousands of mothers who are now effectively raising their children with both love and limits.

To register, call: Sori 845.418.4008Henny 732.901.6884

PROGRAM BEGINS NOV. 7Register before October 26

41 O c t o b e r 8 , 2010 • 323-965-1544 • [email protected]

DoubleTakeCan you spot the differences in these two pictures?

10

1. two bars are missing from the gate. 2. the red backpack is now green. 3. A window ladder is missing. 4. The Shir

Hamalos is missing from the stroller. 5. The chicken has 4 fingers. 6. Extra tree in the background. 7. The striped white

and blue shirt is now red and blue. 8. Extra porch. 9. The girl is facing the other way. 10. The ambulance has one window

instead of two.

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KAPAROS

Double Take YOUR pictures!Please email us your eventpictures to [email protected]

* Correction: Last issue’s Double Take was fromThe Chabad of SOLA Annual Base-ball Tournament.

CHANGES KEEP

SCORE

community links issue 165

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