conflict strategy for nice people
TRANSCRIPT
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Conflict Strategy for
Nice People
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleOur Main Source
Adapted from “Conflict Strategies for Nice People”
HBR.org 13/12/25
by
Dr. Liane Davey
Knightsbridge Human Capital Solutions
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleIntroduction - Main questions
Do you value friendly relations with your
colleagues?
Are you proud of being a nice person who would
never pick a fight?
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleIntroduction - Main questions
Unfortunately, if your answer is always ‘yes”, you might be just as responsible for group
dysfunction as your more combative team members.
That’s because it’s a problem when you shy away from
open, healthy conflict about the issues.
If you think you’re “taking one for the team” by not rocking
the boat, you’re deluding yourself.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleImportant
• Teams need conflict to function effectively.
• Conflict allows the team to come to terms with difficult situations, to synthesize diverse perspectives, and to make sure solutions are well thought-out.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – Main benefit
• Conflict is uncomfortable, but it is the source of true innovation and also a critical process in identifying and mitigating risks.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – Pulling your punches
• Sure, pulling your punches might help you to maintain your self-image as a nice person, but you do so at the cost of missing the opportunity:– to share your thoughts and
perception about a specific action or outside behavior,
– to learn new life approaches and different point-of-views through conflict situations.
– to identify high risk situations.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – What should we do?
• To overcome these problems, we need a new definition of nice.
• In this version of nice, you surface your differences of opinion, you discuss the uncomfortable issues, and you put things on the table where they can help your team move forward.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 01 – Use a question when disagreeing
• When you need to disagree with someone, express your contrary opinion asking your teammate a question.
• Asking a question will engage your teammate in a problem solving situation, which is collaborative instead of combative.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 02 – Use hypotheticals
• When facing a conflict learn to use a useful tactic of asking hypothetical situations to let your teammate imagining.
• If you are meeting resistance to your ideas, try asking your teammates to imagine a different scenario.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 03 – Ask about the impact
• If you are concerned about a proposed course of action, ask your teammates to think through the impact of implementing their plan.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 04 – Discuss the underlying issue
• If you disagree with a proposed course of action, instead of complaining about the solution, start by trying to understand what is behind the suggestion.
• If you understand the reasoning, you might be able to find another way to accomplish the same goal.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 05 – Ask for help
• If a situation is really difficult to deal with, ask another teammate to help you to find an alternative or an agreement that suits both involved parts.
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Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConclusion
• Conflict is critical to team effectiveness.
• Diversity of thinking on a team is the source of innovation and growth.
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