coping with the death of an infant
TRANSCRIPT
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
1/29
E [do}km Sey Eckdly
Sod}kx\zxodcSkxk di} eaxeom }i hk so}f gi||
Z$I$ Hiv 651?
Bkmaixm IX ?3;:5
&;=5/ ;;8":18:
sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
2/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Kbhxelk _i{x Gi||
_i{x hehy fe| mokm$ _i{ exk dis aelkm so}f }fk moaaol{g}' h{} obzix}ed}' dkkm }i bi{xd$ Bi{xdodc o| }fk
izkd kvzxk||oid ia yi{x }fi{cf}| edm akkgodc| xkcexmodc }fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy$ O} o| ed k||kd}oeg zex} ia
fkegodc$ _i{ exk hkcoddodc e `i{xdky }fe} o| ia}kd axocf}kdodc' zeoda{g' iqkxsfkgbodc' edm |ibk}obk|
gidkgy$ ]fo| ex}olgk zxiqomk| zxel}oleg |{cck|}oid| }i fkgz yi{ biqk }isexm fkegodc ea}kx }fk mke}f ia
yi{x hehy$
Eggis yi{x|kga }i bi{xd
Sfe}kqkx }fk loxl{b|}edlk| ia yi{x hehy| mke}f' yi{ sogg dkkm }i |fexk yi{x cxoka i{}|omk ia yi{x|kga$
Sfk}fkx yi{ skxk zxkcded} aix e hxoka }obk' bedy bid}f|' mkgoqkxkm e |}ogghixd hehy' ix yi{x hehy goqkm
aix e gidckx }obk' yi{ feqk kqkxy xocf} }i cxokqk$
]fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy bey feqk libk |{mmkdgy' so}fi{} edy sexdodc$ _i{ feqk hkkd coqkd go}}gk' oa
edy' zxkzexe}oid aix }fo| kvzkxokdlk$ _i{ sogg cxokqk od yi{x isd |zkloeg sey$ ]xy di} }i emiz}
e||{bz}oid| ehi{} fis gidc yi{x cxoka|fi{gm ge|}$ Lid|omkx }enodc e bibkd}"}i"bibkd} ix idk mey
e} e }obk ezzxielf }fe} eggis| yi{ }i cxokqk e} yi{x isd zelk$
Kvzkl} }i akkg e b{g}o}{mk ia kbi}oid|
Kvzkxokdlodc }fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy eaakl}| yi{x fkem' fkex} edm |zoxo}$ \i yi{ bey kvzkxokdlk e qexok}y
ia kbi}oid| e| zex} ia yi{x cxoka sixn$ Lida{|oid' mo|ixcedope}oid' akex' c{og}' xkgoka' ix kvzgi|oqk
kbi}oid| exk `{|} e aks ia }fk kbi}oid| yi{ bey akkg$
\ibk}obk| }fk|k kbi}oid| sogg aiggis kelf i}fkx so}fod e |fix} zkxoim ia }obk$ Ix }fky bey ill{x
|ob{g}edki{|gy$
E| |}xedck e| |ibk ia }fk|k kbi}oid| bey |kkb' }fky exk dixbeg edm fkeg}fy$ Eggis yi{x|kga }i gkexd
axib }fk|k akkgodc|$ Edm mid} hk |{xzxo|km oa i{} ia disfkxk yi{ |{mmkdgy kvzkxokdlk |{xck| ia cxoka'
kqkd e} }fk bi|} {dkvzkl}km }obk|$
]fk|k cxoka e}}eln| led hk axocf}kdodc edm gkeqk yi{ akkgodc iqkxsfkgbkm$ ]fky exk fiskqkx' e de}{xeg
xk|zid|k }i }fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy$ Aodm |ibkidk sfi {dmkx|}edm| yi{x akkgodc| edm sogg eggis yi{ }i
}egn ehi{} }fkb$
Eggis aix d{bhdk||
Akkgodc mepkm ia d{bh sfkd yi{x hehy mok| o| ia}kd zex} ia yi{x kexgy cxoka kvzkxokdlk$ ]fo| d{bhdk||
|kxqk| e qeg{ehgk z{xzi|k0 o} coqk| yi{x kbi}oid| }obk }i le}lf {z so}f sfe} yi{x bodm fe| }igm yi{$
_i{ bey akkg e| oa }fk sixgm fe| |{mmkdgy libk }i e feg}$ _i{x zged| edm mxkeb| aix }fk a{}{xk feqk
hkkd e||e{g}km$
_i{ bey akkg yi{ exk od e mxkebgonk |}e}k$ E| idk bi}fkx kvzxk||km$ O}| gonk x{ddodc fkemaox|} od}i e
|igom segg$ O se| |}{ddkm edm momd} sed} }i hkgokqk }fk sixm| O se| fkexodc O sed}km |ibkidk }i senk
bk {z edm }kgg bk }fo| se|d} fezzkdodc$
Akkgodc ia d{bhdk|| edm mo|hkgoka fkgz lxke}k od|{ge}oid axib }fk xkego}y ia }fk mke}f {d}og yi{ exk bixk
ehgk }i }igkxe}k sfe} yi{ mid} sed} }i hkgokqk$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
3/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
\gis misd obzix}ed} mklo|oid|
\ibk zkizgk bey }xy }i f{xxy yi{ od}i mklo|oid| }i zxi}kl} yi{ axib hkcoddodc }i akgg |emdk|| edm gi||$
]fky ia}kd bked skgg' h{} }fky exk eg|i zi}kd}oeggy libzgole}odc yi{x fkegodc$ _i{ |fi{gm di} benk edy
be`ix mklo|oid| {d}og }fk odo}oeg zedc| ia |filn edm d{bhdk|| hkcod }i gk||kd$
Oa zi||ohgk' e}}kbz} }i benk mklo|oid| so}f yi{x |zi{|k ia e libze||oide}k axokdm$ Xkegopk }fe} yi{ sogg
zxihehgy feqk moaakxkdlk| ia izodoid$ ]fe}| egg xocf} yi{x cxoka o| {dou{k$ Oa yi{ mi mo|ecxkk' xk|zkl}
kelf i}fkx| xocf} }i mi sfe} akkg| xocf} odmoqom{eggy$ Aix kvebzgk' idk ia yi{ bey sed} }i |kk edm figm
}fk hehy' sfogk }fk i}fkx mik| di} akkg e dkkm }i$
Oa yi{ dkkm }obk egidk }i hkcod }i benk |ibk mklo|oid|' gk} zkizgk exi{dm yi{ ndis }fo|$ Sfogk |ibk
zkizgk bey hk iaakdmkm e} yi{x dkkm aix zxoqely' }fo| o| yi{x hehy edm yi{ feqk kqkxy xocf} }i mi sfe}
o| xocf} aix yi{$
\kkodc edm figmodc yi{x hehy
Idgy yi{ led mklomk sfe} yi{x dkkm| exk xkge}km }i |kkodc edm figmodc yi{x hehy$ H{}' idk xkego}y o|
lkx}eod yi{ |fi{gm hk coqkd }fk iz}oid$ Bedy zexkd}| qeg{k }fo| izzix}{do}y }i |ey fkggi hkaixk }fky
|ey ciimhyk$ ]fkxk o| di}fodc sxidc so}f sed}odc }i |kk' figm edm }i{lf yi{x hehy$
Mid} benk e u{oln mklo|oid ehi{} }fo|$ ]enk yi{x }obk edm }fodn o} iqkx$ Oa yi{ feqk akex| ehi{} sfe}
yi{x hehy bocf} giin gonk' e|n }fk mil}ix ix d{x|k }i mk|lxohk yi{x hehy| ezzkexedlk$ \fi{gm yi{
mklomk }i |kk edm figm yi{x hehy' |zkdm e| b{lf }obk e| yi{ dkkm$ ]fo| |fix} }obk yi{ feqk sogg ci e
gidc sey }isexm fkgzodc }i fkeg$
Coqk yi{x hehy e debk
_i{x hehy mk|kxqk| }i feqk e debk$ Oa yi{ fem egxkemy mklomkm id e debk' nkkz o}$ ]fk debk }x{gy
hkgidc| }i }fo| {dou{k lfogm$ Feqodc e debk aix yi{x hehy eggis| yi{ }i }egn ehi{} yi{x gi|| od e
zkx|ideg sey$ _i{ exk izkdgy elndisgkmcodc }fe} yi{ feqk giqkm e lfogm edm sogg egsey| xkbkbhkx fob
ix fkx$ _i{ sogg aodm o} ke|okx }i kbhxelk yi{x bkbixok| oa yi{ led xkakx }i yi{x hehy hy debk$
Ce}fkx obzix}ed} nkkz|enk|
Bkbixok| exk idk ia }fk hk|} gkcelok| }fe} kvo|} ea}kx e hehy mok|$ _i{ bey sed} } liggkl} |ibk
obzix}ed} nkkz|enk| }fe} fkgz yi{ }xke|{xk }i{x bkbixok|$ Sfogk |ibk fi|zo}eg| e{}ibe}oleggy iaakx }i
zxiqomk yi{ so}f sey| ia xkbkbhkxodc yi{x hehy' di} egg mi$ \i' hk lkx}eod }i xku{k|} edy o}kb| }fe}
yi{ sed} }i hk ehgk }i nkkz$
Kvebzgk| ia nkkz|enk| yi{ bocf} sed} odlg{mk }fk aiggisodc0 e zol}{xk ia yi{x hehy &kqkd oa yi{ mid}
sed} o} dis' o} led hk }enkd edm qokskm ge}kx/' e hox}f lkx}oaole}k' e |k} ia aii}zxod}|' zge|}ol exb
hxelkgk}' }fk hgednk} yi{x hehy aox|} lebk od lid}el} so}f' ix e geln ia feox$
_i{ bey sed} }i lxke}k e bkbixy hiv }i nkkz }fk|k |zkloeg nkkz|enk| od$ ]fkd' sfkd yi{ exk bo||odc
yi{x hehy' yi{ led izkd {z yi{x bkbixy hiv edm kbhxelk }fk|k |zkloeg bkbixok|$ ]fk xkego}y }fe}
yi{x hehy fe| mokm mik| di} mobodo|f yi{x dkkm }i feqk }fk|k ih`kl}|$ ]fky exk e }edcohgk' ge|}odc zex}
ia }fk |zkloeg xkge}oid|foz yi{ fem so}f yi{x lfogm$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
4/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Benk {|k ia xo}{eg
]fk a{dkxeg xo}{eg mik| bixk }fed elndisgkmck }fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy$ O} fkgz| zxiqomk yi{ so}f }fk
|{zzix} ia lexodc zkizgk$ }fk a{dkxeg o| e sey aix yi{ }i kvzxk|| yi{x cxoka i{}|omk yi{x|kga$
_i{ bocf} feqk |ibk zkizgk }kgg yi{' O} sogg hk ke|okx ix hk}}kx di} }i feqk e a{dkxeg$ Mklomodc di} }i
feqk e a{dkxeg o| e axku{kd} xkcxk} }fe} bedy zexkd}| kvzxk||$ _i{ edm yi{x hehy feqk e xocf} }i feqk e
a{dkxeg$ ]fk a{dkxeg o| idk }fodc yi{ led mi aix yi{x lfogm e} e }obk sfkd yi{ akkg yi{ led mi |i go}}gk$
A{dkxeg| mi di} feqk }i hk midk xocf} esey$ ]enk yi{x }obk edm mklomk sfe} sogg hk|} bkk} yi{x dkkm|$
Sfe}kqkx yi{ mi' mid} feqk e a{dkxeg }fe} kvlg{mk| }fk bi}fkx$ Seo} {d}og |fk o| i{} ia }fk fi|zo}eg
edm led hk odlg{mkm od }fk |kxqolk }fe} xkbkbhkx| }fk hehy$
Hk }igkxed} ia yi{x zfy|oleg edm kbi}oideg gobo}|
_i{x akkgodc| ia gi|| edm |emdk|| sogg zxihehgy gkeqk yi{ ae}oc{km$ Edm yi{x gis kdkxcy gkqkg bey
de}{xeggy |gis yi{ misd$ Xk|zkl} sfe} yi{x himy edm bodm exk }kggodc yi{$ D{x}{xk yi{x|kga$ Ck} meogy
xk|}$ Ke} hegedlkm bkeg|$ Gocf}kd yi{x |lfkm{gk e| b{lf e| zi||ohgk$ Lexodc aix yi{x|kga mik|d} bked
akkgodc |ixxy aix yi{x|kga' o} bked| yi{ exk {|odc |{xqoqeg |nogg|$
]egn ehi{} yi{x cxoka
Kvzxk|| yi{x cxoka izkdgy$ Hy |fexodc yi{x cxoka i{}|omk yi{x|kga' fkegodc ill{x|$ Ocdixodc yi{x cxoka
sid} benk o} ci esey> }egnodc ehi{} o} ia}kd benk| yi{ akkg hk}}kx$ Eggis yi{x|kga }i |zken axib yi{x
fkex}' di} `{|} axib yi{x fkem$ Miodc |i mik|d} bked yi{ exk gi|odc lid}xig ix ciodc lxepy$ O} o| e
dixbeg zex} ia yi{x cxoka `i{xdky$
Aodm lexodc axokdm| edm xkge}oqk| sfi sogg go|}kd so}fi{} `{mcodc$ \kkn i{} }fi|k zkx|id| sfi sogg segn
so}f di} od axid} ia ix hkfodm yi{ od yi{x `i{xdky }fxi{cf cxoka$ Eqiom zkx|id| sfi exk lxo}oleg ix
sfi }xy }i |}keg yi{x cxoka axib yi{$ ]fky bey }kgg yi{' _i{xk sxidc' _i{led feqk edi}fkx hehy'
ix _i{ dkqkx ci} }i ndis yi{x hehy$ Sfogk }fk|k libbkd}| bey hk skgg od}kd}oidkm' yi{ mi di} feqk
}i ellkz} }fkb$ _i{ feqk kqkxy xocf} }i kvzxk|| yi{x cxoka$ Di idk fe| }fk xocf} }i }enk o} esey$
Mkqkgiz e |{zzix} |y|}kb
Xkelfodc i{} }i i}fkx| edm ellkz}odc |{zzix} o| ia}kd moaaol{g}' zex}ol{gexgy sfkd yi{ f{x} |i b{lf$ H{}
}fk bi|} libze||oide}k }fodc yi{ led mi e} }fo| moaaol{g} }obk o| }i aodm e |{zzix} |y|}kb ia lexodc
axokdm| edm xkge}oqk| sfi sogg zxiqomk }fk {dmkx|}edmodc yi{ dkkm$ Aodm }fk zkizgk sfi kdli{xeck yi{
}i hk yi{x|kga edm elndisgkmck yi{x akkgodc| sfe}kqkx }fky bocf} hk$
Kbhxelk yi{x |zoxo}{ego}y
Oa aeo}f o| zex} ia yi{x goak' kvzxk|| o} od sey| }fe} |kkb ezzxizxoe}k }i yi{$ Eggis yi{x|kga }i hk exi{dm
zkizgk sfi {dmkx|}edm edm |{zzix} yi{x xkgocoi{| hkgoka|$ Oa yi{ exk edcxy e} Cim hkle{|k ia }fk mke}f
ia yi{x hehy' xkegopk }fo| akkgodc e| e dixbeg zex} ia yi{x cxoka sixn$ Aodm |ibkidk }i }egn so}f sfi
sid} hk lxo}oleg ia sfe}kqkx }fi{cf}| edm akkgodc| yi{ dkkm }i kvzgixk$
_i{ bey fkex |ibkidk |ey' So}f aeo}f' yi{ mid} dkkm }i cxokqk$ Mid} hkgokqk o}$ Feqodc yi{x
zkx|ideg aeo}f mik| di} od|{ge}k yi{ axib dkkmodc }i }egn i{} edm kvzgixk yi{x }fi{cf}| edm akkgodc|$ ]i
mkdy yi{x cxoka o| }i odqo}k zxihgkb| }fe} h{ogm {z od|omk yi{$ Kvzxk|| yi{x aeo}f' h{} yi{x cxoka e| skgg$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
5/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Eggis e |kexlf aix bkedodc
_i{ bey aodm yi{x|kga e|nodc' Sfy mom }fo| hehy mok9 Sfy }fo| sey9 Sfy dis9 ]fo| |kexlf aix
bkedodc o| edi}fkx dixbeg zex} ia }fk fkegodc zxilk||$ \ibk u{k|}oid| feqk ed|skx|$ \ibk mi di}$
El}{eggy' }fk fkegodc ill{x| od }fk izzix}{do}y }i zi|k }fk u{k|}oid|' di} dklk||exogy od ed|skxodc }fkb$
Aodm e |{zzix}oqk axokdm sfi sogg go|}kd xk|zid|oqkgy e| yi{ |kexlf aix bkedodc$
Biqk }isexm yi{x cxoka ed fkeg
]fk lezelo}y }i giqk xku{oxk| }fk dklk||o}y }i cxokqk sfkd yi{x hehy mok|$ _i{ led} fkeg {dgk|| yi{
izkdgy kvzxk|| yi{x cxoka$ Mkdyodc yi{x cxoka sogg idgy benk o} hklibk bixk lida{|odc edm
iqkxsfkgbodc$ Kbhxelk yi{x cxoka edm fkeg$
Xklidlogodc yi{x cxoka sogg di} fezzkd u{olngy$ Xkbkbhkx cxoka o| zxilk||' di} ed kqkd}$ Hk ze}okd} edm
}igkxed} so}f yi{x|kga$ Dkqkx aixck} }fe} }fk mke}f ia yi{x hehy lfedck| yi{x goak aixkqkx$ O}| di} }fe}
yi{ sid} hk fezzy eceod> o}| |obzgy }fe} yi{ sogg dkqkx hk kvel}gy }fk |ebk e| yi{ skxk hkaixk }fk
hehy mokm$
]fk kvzkxokdlk ia cxoka o| ziskxa{g$ \i' }ii' o| yi{x ehogo}y }i fkgz yi{x|kga fkeg$ Od miodc }fk sixn ia
cxokqodc' yi{ exk biqodc }isexm e xkdkskm |kd|k ia bkedodc edm z{xzi|k od yi{x goak$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
6/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Bed ! cxoka edm li{zgk| ! cxoka
Begk ) Akbegk Xkge}oid|foz|
Bi|} xkge}oid|foz| exk od}xod|oleggy lfeggkdcodc m{k }i i{x odfkxkd} moaakxkdlk|$
Fk0 \fk0
Hoc Zol}{xk Mk}eog|
]fodn| Akkg|
Gicoleg Od}{o}oqk
Lizk| Od}kxdeggy Lizk| Kv}kxdeggy
\ocf| Lxok|
Bi|} ae}fkx| led elndisgkmck }fo| o| e xkego}y < }i 1 bid}f| ea}kx }fk mke}f Bi|} bi}fkx| dkkm ? }i 8= bid}f| }i elndisgkmck }fo| o| e xkego}y edm }i biqk od}i bi{xdodc
zxel}olk|$
Bi|} bkd akkg }fkox |zi{|k dkkm| zxiak||oideg fkgz ea}kx < }i 1 bid}f|
Zi}kd}oeg moaakxkdlk| od i{x cxokqodc
5$ \FK dkkm| }i }egn ehi{} sfe} fe| ill{xxkm$ \fk cik| iqkx }fk |}ixy od ed kaaix} }i ce}fkx kqkxyzi||ohgk mk}eog }i kvzgeod sfy edm fis$
FK akkg| {dlibaix}ehgk mkegodc id |{lf e akkgodc gkqkg edm aodm| kvl{|k| eqiomodc |{lflidaxid}e}oid|
8$ \FK }enk| libaix} od fkx aeo}fFK o| edcxy so}f Cim' akkgodc }fe} }fk kqkd} odqegome}k| fo| aeo}f
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
7/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
1$ \FK |kkn| \{zzix} Cxi{z| e| ed i{}gk} aix fkx kvzxk||oidFK sed}| }i eqiom |fisodc fo| zeod od axid} ia i}fkx zkizgk> zex}ol{gexgy |}xedckx|%
3$ \FK fe| di od}kxk|} od \kv edm xk|kd}| fo| mk|oxk aix o} e} }fo| }obk$FK sed}| }i benk giqk aix }fk libaix} edm xke||{xedlk }fe} libk| }fxi{cf od}obely
6$ \FK ndis| }fe} fkx goqk o| oxxkqilehgy lfedckm edm sogg dkqkx hk }fk |ebk eceod$FK sed}| fkx edm }fkox goak heln }fk sey o} se| hkaixk }fk kqkd}$
?$ ]FK_ led |ibk}obk| libzk}k so}f kelf i}fkx }i |kk sfi o| cxokqodc }fk fexmk|}5:$]FK_ |kkn }i k|lezk }fk kqkd} hy }enodc e qele}oid' biqodc' lfedcodc `ih|' k}l$55$]FK_ |kkn }i d{bh }fkox zeod }fxi{cf Eglifig' Mx{c|' \fizzodc' Kv}xebexo}eg eaaeox|' ix i}fkx
lfogm
58$]FK_ exk edcxy so}f }fk Mil}ix ix i}fkx e{}fixo}y aoc{xk| odqigqkm so}f }fk kqkd} edm feqk'bixk }fed idlk' mo|l{||km gkceg el}oid$
5
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
8/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Oa }fkxk exk i}fkx lfogmxkd' kdli{xeck }fkb }i kvzxk|| edm mo|l{|| }fkox cxoka izkdgy edmfidk|}gy' coqk lidlkxd }i fis }fk lfogm o| lizodc so}f }fk kvzkxokdlk' edm xklicdopk }fe} }fk
lfogm o| cxokqodc }ii$ &Lfogmxkd| Zxicxeb odaixbe}oid ;=5";;8":18:/
]isexm| ed esexkdk|| edm ellkz}edlk ia kelf i}fkx| cxoka {|odc }fk aiggisodc < |}kz c{omk05$ Go|} edm mo|l{|| }fi|k kgkbkd}| ia cxoka {dou{k }i FKX8$ Go|} edm mo|l{|| }fi|k kgkbkd}| ia cxoka {dou{k }i FOB
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
9/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
C{omkgodk| aix cxokqodc li{zgk|
5$ Xkegopk }fk mke}f ia yi{x lfogm sogg f{x} bixk }fed yi{ obecodkm$ O} sogg xkexxedck yi{x goak edm
sixgmqoks$ _i{x xkge}oid|foz so}f yi{x zex}dkx sogg hk |}xk}lfkm$ ]fkxk exk |ibk }fodc| yi{ led mi }i
xkm{lk |}xeod id yi{x xkge}oid|foz$
8$ _i{ edm yi{x zex}dkx sogg cxokqk moaakxkd}gy$ Gk} ci ia }fk e||{bz}oid }fe} yi{ (i{cf}( }i mi o} egonk$
Xk|zkl}a{ggy benk xiib aix kelf i}fkx#| |}ygk$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
10/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
\}ogghox}f' Bo|lexxoeck edm Odaed} Mke}f
]fk aiggisodc odaixbe}oid o| aix zexkd}| sfi feqk kvzkxokdlkm e |}ogghox}f' bo|lexxoeck ix }fk mke}f ia ed
odaed}$ ]fk|k c{omkgodk| feqk hkkd ce}fkxkm axib }fk kvzkxokdlk| ia i}fkx hkxkeqkm zexkd}|' edm axib
}fk |}{mok| edm sxo}odc| ia zxiak||oideg| od cxoka li{d|kgodc$
Dixbeg cxokqodc' so}f bedy {z| edm misd|' ge|}
aex gidckx }fed |ilok}y od ckdkxeg xklicdopk|$ Hk
ze}okd} so}f yi{x|kga$
Lxyodc o| ed ellkz}ehgk edm fkeg}fy kvzxk||oid
ia cxoka aix hi}f bi}fkx| edm ae}fkx| sfolf
xkgke|k| h{og}" {z }kd|oid> lxy axkkgy e| yi{ akkg
}fk dkkm$
Lid|omkx sfe}kqkx yi{ mi }i hk dixbeg aix yi{>
mid} hk eaxeom ia hopexxk mkg{|oid| &|{lf e|
zfed}ib lxyodc edm elfodc exb|/}fo| o| zex} ia
dixbeg cxoka$
Sfkdkqkx zi||ohgk' z{} iaa be`ix mklo|oid|
&lfedcodc xk|omkdlk' lfedcodc `oh' k}l$/ aix e}
gke|} e ykex$
Sfkd lid|omkxodc edi}fkx zxkcdedly' coqk
yi{x|kga |{aaolokd} }obk }i bi{xd edm }i xkliqkxyi{x zfy|oleg edm kbi}oideg |}xkdc}f$
Sfkd yi{ mi feqk edi}fkx zxkcdedly' lfii|k
dks debk|> kelf lfogm o| {dou{k edm mik| di}
mk|kxqk }i hk e |{xxice}k$
Hkle{|k }fk hidmodc hk}skkd bi}fkx edm
lfogm hkcod| gidc hkaixk hox}f' e ae}fkx |fi{gm
kvzkl} }fk bi}fkx }i feqk bixk od}kd|k
akkgodc| aix e gidckx }obk> bi{xd so}f fkx edm
hk |{zzix}oqk$
Gkexd }i gk} i}fkx| ndis fis yi{ akkg edm fis
yi{ exk sixnodc i{} yi{x cxoka |i }fe} }fky beyhk |{zzix}oqk }i yi{$
So}fod }fxkk bid}f|' }xy }i hklibk odqigqkm
so}f e cxi{z ia zexkd}| feqodc |obogex
kvzkxokdlk|$
]fk eddoqkx|exok| ia e hehy| hox}f edm mke}f
led hk e bi|} |}xk||a{g }obk aix zexkd}| hk
ciim }i yi{x|kga edm eggis yi{x|kga |ibk
kbi}oideg |zelk edm |zkloeg }obk aix cxokqodc$
HKXKEQKM ZEXKD]\ EDM ]FKOX AEBOGOK\ LED
AOIDM FKEGODC EDM FIZK AIX ]FK A[][XK$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
11/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
]fk mke}f ia e hehy Fkgz aix }fk }i{cf mey|
]fk mke}f ia e hehy esenkd| |i b{lf zeod$ Di} idgy mi sk gi|k i{x lfogm' sk gi|k i{x isd a{}{xk' edm
}fk mxkeb| sk fem ia e giqkm aoggkm goak }ick}fkx$ O} o| e }obk ia cxke} od}xi|zkl}oid edm u{k|}oid| ehi{}
bkedodc ia i{x goak edm sfy sk b{|} kdm{xk |{lf |ixxis$
M{xodc }fo| }obk' |obzgy }enodc o} idk hxke}f e} e }obk' hkodc so}f }fk zeod' edm |kkodc }i }fk |obzgk|} ia
}e|n| bey hk egg yi{ exk lezehgk ia$ Mid} aixlk e xk}{xd }i dixbeg' ix gk} i}fkx| x{|f yi{ }fxi{cf yi{x
cxoka$ Kqkd}{eggy' }fk zeod sogg gk||kd' edm e xk}{xd ia kdkxcy sogg libk$ Mid} mkzkdm id bkmole}oid| ix
eglifig }i d{bh yi{x akkgodc|$ Cxokqodc o| dixbeg' edm |fi{gmd} hk |{zzxk||km$
Ellkz} yi{x akkgodc|$ Xeck' lida{|oid' mkkz
mk|zeox exk }i hk kvzkl}km$ Gk} yi{x akkgodc|
edm bkbixok| libk$ Cxokqodc fkgz| {| id i{x
sey }i fkegodc$ \}oagodc el}{eggy bey zxigidc }fkzxilk||$
]enk ciim lexk ia yi{x|kga$ Eggis yi{x|kga }fk
g{v{xy ia }obk }i fkeg$ ]enk }obk iaa axib
kqkxy}fodc yi{ led$ Kvzkl} }i akkg }fk kaakl}| ia
}fo| sixgm |fe}}kxodc kqkd} od e zfy|oleg sey' e|
skgg e| bkd}eggy$ ]xy |fix} mi|k| ia kvkxlo|k `{|}
}i ck} i{} ia }fk fi{|k' |{lf e| e segn od }fk
yexm' ix exi{dm }fk hgiln$ ]xy }i ke} skgg' edm
ck} kdi{cf xk|}$ \ey di so}fi{} ezigicy$ \zkdm}obk od de}{xk' kd`iyodc }fk u{ok} edm |igo}{mk$
Giin aix |{zzix}$ ]xy }i hk so}f zkizgk yi{ led
|fexk hi}f ge{cf}kx edm }kex|$ Eqiom
`{mcbkd}eg zkizgk$ @iod e zexkd}| cxoka cxi{z
|{lf e| }fi|k iaakxkm hy Sod}kx\zxodc edm
Libze||oide}k Axokdm$ Liddkl}odc so}f i}fkx|
so}f |obogex gi||k| hxodc| e akkgodc ia dixbegly
}i i{x cxoka$
Mid} gk} yi{x|kga akkg x{|fkm }i feqk edi}fkx
lfogm$Sfkd i}fkx| |ey' _i{ led }xy eceod$
}fo| |{cck|}| }fe} idk lfogm led xkzgelk edi}fkx$
Ci e} yi{x isd zelk edm }obk$
Aodm libaix} }fxi{cf aeo}f$ Sfe}kqkx yi{
hkgokqk' cxoka fe| o}| |zoxo}{eg |omk$ Cxoka }xok| }i
xklidlogk |zoxo}{eg |omk$ Cxoka }xok| }i xklidlogk
|zoxo}{eggy edm kbi}oideggy sfe} fe| fezzkdkmzfy|oleggy$ ]fi|k sfi exk mkkzgy xkgocoi{| edm
}fi|k sfi feqk dkqkx }fi{cf} b{lf ehi{} Cim
exk lidaxid}km so}f dks u{k|}oid| edm
lfeggkdck| }i }fkox aeo}f$ Bedy feqk ai{dm
libaix} edm |{zzix} od }fkox zgey ia six|foz$
_i{ bey feqk u{k|}oid| ia aeo}f sfolf exk hk|}
mo|l{||km so}f e |zoxo}{eg li{d|kgix ia yi{x
lfiolk$ Benk e }xoz }i }fk gohxexy ix hiin|}ixk
aix e qexok}y ia xkemodc be}kxoeg| id }fk |{h`kl}ia |zoxo}{ego}y$
Nkkz bkbixok| egoqk$ ]egn ehi{} yi{x lfogm
so}f }fi|k sfi sogg go|}kd$ Sxo}k yi{x |}ixok|
dis sfogk yi{x xkbkbhkx }fkb$ Z{} zfi}i| od
ed egh{b ix od od axebk' edm mo|zgey }fk od e
zgelk ia fidix id yi{x fibk$
Lid|omkx zged}odc e }xkk od bkbixy' ix benodc e
mide}oid }i }fk Bkbixoeg Cxiqk$ Eggis i}fkx
lfogmxkd edm aebogy bkbhkx| }i hk e zex} ia }fk
zgeddodc ia |zkloeg kqkd}| |{lf e| eddoqkx|exok|
ix hox}fmey|$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
12/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
]kex \i{z Liinodc ]oz|Xkzxod}km axib
]kex\i{z' e xklozk aix fkegodc ea}kx gi||
Oayi{ exk }fk liin0
]fo| o| yi{x cxoka" di idk kg|k|$ _i{x axokdm| led} akkg yi{x gi|| od }fk |ebk
sey$ O} sogg di} eaakl} }fkox goak }fk sey o} eaakl}| yi{x|$ Edm yi{ bey xk|kd}
}fkb aix }fe}$
E} aox|} yi{ bey }fodn myodc si{gm hk zxkakxehgk }i feqodc }i ci }fxi{cf
}fo| zeod$ @{|} }xy }i |}ey egoqk$ \{mmkd biim |sodc| exk dixbeg$ _i{ bey
|{mmkdgy hk {dxke|idehgk di} |fix}$
]xy yi{x hk|} }i km{le}k yi{x axokdm| ehi{} sfe} yi{ dkkm edm fis }fky
led fkgz$ Hk e| fidk|} e| yi{ led hk ehi{} fis yi{ exk akkgodc$
Mid} coqk {z id yi{x axokdm| oa }fky gk} yi{ misd$ H{} oa }fky lid}od{k }i hk
od|kd|o}oqk }i yi{x cxoka yi{ bey dkkm }i mo|}edlk yi{x|kga aix e sfogk {d}ogyi{ ck} |}xidckx$
E} aox|} yi{ sogg zxihehgy sed} }i }egn }i e| bedy zkizgk e| zi||ohgk' h{}
ea}kx e bid}f ix |i' aodm idk ix }si zkizgk sfib yi{ led li{d} id aix }fk
gidc fe{g }i `{|} hk }fkxk edm go|}kd sfkd yi{ dkkm }i }egn$
Sxo}k yi{x }fi{cf}| od e `i{xdeg$ O} sogg fkgz yi{ }i zxk|| edm eg|i }i
xkbkbhkx }fk dks od|ocf}| yi{ exk gkexdodc$
Lid|omkx e}}kdmodc e |{zzix} cxi{z$ Ci e} gke|} }fxkk }obk| hkaixk mklomodc
oa o} o| fkgza{g }i yi{$
Hk izkd }i li{d|kgodc$
Kvkxlo|k' |gkkz' mxodn zgkd}y ia ag{om|' edm ke} e skgg"hegedlkm mok}$
Zebzkx yi{x|kga$ ]enk h{hhgk he}f|$ Ck} e be||eck$
]xy di} }i libzexk yi{x cxoka so}f edi}fkx|$ _i{ mid} kexd ziod}| aix
feqodc e bixk zeoda{g kvzkxokdlk }fed |ibkidk kg|k fe|$ Edm yi{ sid}
akkg gk|| cxoka oa |ibkidk kg|k| gi|| o| six|k
_i{ mk|kxqk }i akkg fezzy eceod$ Hkodc fezzy mik|d} bked yi{ aixck}$
Gkexd }i hk cxe}ka{g aix }fk ciim mey|$
Mid} hk }ii fexm id yi{x|kga$
Gidc ea}kx kqkxyidk kg|k fe| aixci}}kd yi{x gi||' yi{ sogg lid}od{k }i
xkbkbhkx$
Gkexd }i hk lid}kd} so}f yi{x zxoqe}k bkbixok|$
Xkzxod}km so}f zkxbo||oid axib Cxoka Se}lf
Lizyxocf} Cxoka Se}lf 8::8$ Egg xocf}| xk|kxqkm$
]kex \i{z Lizy Xocf} Cxoka se}lf 5???
Zix}gedm' Ixkcid [\E
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
13/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
]fk \{h|ku{kd} lfogm
\ibksfkxk od }fk }obk aiggisodc }fk mke}f ia e lfogm' zex}ol{gexgy oa }fe} mke}f se| |{mmkd edm
{dkvzkl}km' zexkd}| exk aelkm so}f }fk u{k|}oid0 \fi{gm sk feqk edi}fkx hehy9 Bixk obzix}ed}gy'
}fky sidmkx fis }fky sogg akkg ehi{} }fo| dkv} lfogm' edm }fky sidmkx fis i}fkx zexkd}| feqk xkel}km
}i }fk|k akkgodc|$
]fo| odaixbe}oid o| od}kdmkm aix zexkd}| sfi exk }fodnodc ehi{} feqodc edi}fkx hehy ix }fi|k sfi feqk
egxkemy bemk }fk mklo|oid }i feqk edi}fkx hehy$ ]fo| ex}olgk bey eg|i |kxqk e| e |i{xlk ia odaixbe}oid
aix zkx|id| sfi bey hk od lid}el} so}f |{lf aebogok|$
O} b{|} hk xklicdopkm }fe} }fo| o| |obzgy e c{omk }i zexkd}eg akkgodc|$ E| |{lf' o} liqkx| idgy |ibk ia }fk
bixk axku{kd} |o}{e}oid|' xkel}oid|' edm u{k|}oid|$ Di} egg zexkd}| sogg e|n }fk |ebk u{k|}oid|' edm kelf
sogg bi|} gonkgy feqk |ibk odmoqom{eg loxl{b|}edlk| }fe} exk di} }i{lfkm {zid fkxk$ @{|} e| zexkd}eg
xkel}oid| }i }fk mke}f ia e lfogm exk |obogex h{} {dou{kgy moaakxkd}' |i }ii exk }fk xkel}oid| }i e
(|{h|ku{kd} lfogm$(
O| o} dklk||exy }i feqk edi}fkx Lfogm }i ck} iqkx }fk mke}f ia ed odaed}9
Sfkd ed odaed} mok|' skgg"od}kd}oidkm zkizgk ckdkxeggy }xy }i zkx|{emk zexkd}| }fe} feqodc edi}fkx
hehy e| |iid e| zi||ohgk o| }fk idgy ed|skx }i ellkz}odc }fe} mke}f$ Xe}fkx |}xidc e}}kbz}| bey
|ibk}obk| hk bemk }i lidqodlk yi{ }fe} fkegodc led idgy hk ellibzgo|fkm }fo| sey$ H{} (fkegodc( o|
el}{eggy di}fodc bixk }fed odlixzixe}odc ed kqkd} od}i yi{x goak od e sey }fe} kdehgk| yi{ }i goqk so}f o}
od ed ezzxizxoe}k ae|foid$ Miodc }fe} }enk| }obk$ _i{ leddi} dklk||exogy |zkkm {z }fk zxilk|| ia fkegodc
hy feqodc ix di} feqodc edi}fkx hehy$
Oa yi{ mklomk di} }i feqk edi}fkx hehy edm }fe} mklo|oid o| he|km {zid yi{x isd xke|id|' hk |kl{xk
so}f }fk ael} }fe} }fo| mklo|oid o| xocf} aix yi{$ Oa yi{ mklomk di} }i feqk edi}fkx hehy h{} yi{ }fodn }fo|
mklo|oid o| he|km bixk id akex }fed id zxel}oleg lid|omkxe}oid|' mi di} fk|o}e}k }i |kkn |ibk
li{d|kgodc$ _i{ sogg di} hk }fk aox|} ix }fk ge|} zkx|id }i kvzkxokdlk }fo| akkgodc$
]fk zi||ohogo}y eg|i kvo|}| }fe} }fk lfiolk }i feqk e |{h|ku{kd} lfogm o| di} zi||ohgk hkle{|k ia odakx}ogo}y
ix |}kxogope}oid$ ]fo| ex}olgk sogg di} liqkx }fi|k o||{k|$ _i{ bey so|f }i |kkn zxiak||oideg emqolk$
Ia}kd' }fk mklo|oid o| }i feqk edi}fkx lfogm$ Zexkd}| sfi feqk bemk }fo| lfiolk sogg }kgg yi{ }fe} edi}fkxlfogm se| e cxke} fkgz od em`{|}odc }i bedy ia }fkox ze|} akkgodc|$ Fiskqkx' o} b{|} hk lgkexgy {dmkx|}iim
}fe} edi}fkx hehy o| dko}fkx e (l{xk"egg( dix }fk idgy lfiolk izkd }i yi{$ E dks hehy leddi} }enk }fk
zgelk ia }fk hehy }fe} mokm$ Lfogmxkd exk di} od}kxlfedckehgk$ Kelf lfogm o| ed odmoqom{eg so}f o}| isd
zkx|idego}y edm |zkloeg ake}{xk|$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
14/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Fis |iid ea}kx }fk gi|| ia e lfogm |fi{gm yi{ feqk edi}fkx hehy
]fkxk exk bedy ed|skx| }i }fo| u{k|}oid' edm }fky exk egg lixxkl}$ \ibk sibkd exk egxkemy zxkcded}
sfkd }fkox hehy mok| edm }fkxk o| di (mklo|oid"benodc( }obk$ Oa }fk zxkcdedly o| ciodc }i aiggis }fk ge|}
idk hy gk|| }fed e ykex' o} o| e ciim omke }i lid|{g} yi{x zfy|oloed id }fo| mklo|oid$ ]fk gkdc}f ia }obk }i
seo}' aix }fk bi|} zex}' o| e mklo|oid }fe} hkgidc| }i yi{ edm }i di idk kg|k$
\ibk Zxihgkb| yi{ bocf} kdli{d}kx
O} o| e xe}fkx libbid ill{xxkdlk aix |ibk sibkd }i kvzkxokdlk moaaol{g}y od hklibodc zxkcded} idlk
}fky feqk mklomkm }i feqk edi}fkx hehy$ \fi{gm }fo| fezzkd }i yi{' mid#} akkg c{og}y ehi{} }fk
bibkd}exy odehogo}y }i lidlkoqk$ Hk e||{xkm }fe} yi{ exk di} egidk$ ]fk |ig{}oid o| ze}okdlk$ Oa yi{ akkg
}fe} (hkodc ze}okd}( xk|{g}| od yi{x feqodc }i seo} }ii gidc' lid|{g} yi{x zfy|oloed$ ]fk kbi}oideg
obzel} ia }fk gi|| ia e lfogm' }fk mk|oxk aix edi}fkx zxkcdedly' ix edy d{bhkx ia xke|id| led le{|k }fo|
}kbzixexy |o}{e}oid' \{lf e xkel}oid o| u{o}k dixbeg$
O} o| di} }ii {dlibbid aix }fk dkv} zxkcdedly }i xk|{g} od e bo|lexxoeck$ Bi}fkx| sfi feqk xklkd}gy
gi|} odaed}| feqk e |}xidc }kdmkdly }i akkg xk|zid|ohgk ix c{og}y sfkd e bo|lexxoeck ill{x|$ _i{ feqk e
xocf} }i akkg {dfezzy' h{} mid#} akkg xk|zid|ohgk$
Emiz}oqk zexkd}| bey eg|i hk aelkm so}f ax{|}xe}oid' aix o} o| odlxke|odcgy moaaol{g} }i aodm hehok| eqeogehgk
aix emiz}oid$ Mid#} `{bz od}i eg}kxde}oqk zxilkm{xk|' |{lf e| e ai|}kx lfogm {dgk|| yi{ exk u{o}k |kl{xk
so}f yi{x akkgodc|$ \{lf eg}kxde}oqk| bey skgg hk }fk |ig{}oid aix yi{> `{|} hk lkx}eod }fe} }fk lfiolk o|
di} bemk od fe|}k$
_i{xk kvzkl}odc e hehy
]fk mklo|oid"benodc }obk o| iqkx' edm }fk hehy o| id }fk sey$ _i{ sogg zxihehgy hk e go}}gk dkxqi{| edm
kvlo}km$ ]fkxk bey kqkd hk e go}}gk akex fommkd esey od }fe} dkxqi{|' kvlo}km akkgodc$
]fo| o| k|zkloeggy }x{k ia zexkd}| sfi skxk odemku{e}kgy li{d|kgkm e} }fk }obk ia }fkox lfogm#| mke}f'
sfi fem }i ellkz} obzxizkx moecdi|k| id mke}f lkx}oaole}k| ix sfi skxk {dehgk }i ih}eod e{}iz|ok|'
k}l$ Kqkd {dmkx }fk hk|} ia }fk|k loxl{b|}edlk|' yi{ bey |}ogg feqk |ibk mi{h}|' ix dks idk| bey
libk }i }fk |{xaelk$ Oa yi{ exk }xi{hgkm hy |{lf mi{h}|' }fo| o| }fk }obk }i ck} ed|skx|' di be}}kx fis
od|ocdoaoled} yi{x u{k|}oid| bey |kkb$ ]fk idgy xomol{gi{| u{k|}oid| exk }fk idk| yi{ mid#} e|n> go}}gk
mi{h}| feqk e sey ia hklibodc hoc idk| sfkd yi{ nkkz }fkb gilnkm {z od|omk$ _i{x mil}ix o| ed
kvlkggkd} |i{xlk aix fkgz$ _i{ led eg|i lid}el} e qig{d}exy ixcedope}oid> }fky feqk xk|i{xlk zkizgk
eqeogehgk }i fkgz yi{ so}f edy u{k|}oid|$ Zexkd}| sfi dkkm }i }egn }i |ibkidk sfi fe| |fexkm e |obogex
kvzkxokdlk led hk z{} od lid}el} so}f edi}fkx zexkd} ia e (|{h|ku{kd} lfogm$(
O} o| obzix}ed} }i xkbkbhkx }fe} }fo| hehy sogg hk kd}kxodc e sixgm }fe} sogg odlg{mk cxedmzexkd}|'
xkge}oqk|' axokdm|' edm zi||ohgy hxi}fkx| edm |o|}kx|' sfi|k akkgodc| exk obzix}ed} }ii$ (Seo}odc aix
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
15/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
hehy( o| e ciim }obk }i kdli{xeck |ibk izkd mo|l{||oid aix }fkb eg|i' e| o} sogg mi b{lf }i lgkex }fk eox
aix kqkxyidk$
Od e bixk zxel}oleg qkod' }fo| b{|} hk |eom0 Xkcexmgk|| ia sfe} fezzkdkm e} }fk }obk ia }fk mke}f ia yi{x
lfogm' yi{ b{|} xkegopk }fe} f{bed hkodc| exk `{|} }fe}""f{bed$ Sfe} yi{' ix |ibkidk kg|k' mom ix mom
di} mi o| di gidckx xkgkqed}$ Kelf zkx|id goqk| fo| goak e| hk|} fk led so}fod }fk axebksixn ia }fk
loxl{b|}edlk| fk fe| eqeogehgk$ O} hklibk| ziod}gk|| }i |zkdm }fk xk|} ia yi{x goak hgebodc yi{x|kga ix
|ibkidk kg|k aix }fodc| }fe} leddi} hk lfedckm$
_i{ b{|} eg|i aodm |kl{xo}y od yi{x ehogo}y }i benk mklo|oid|$ Oa yi{ led aodm }fe} |kl{xo}y e} gke|} 3;
zkxlkd} ia }fk }obk yi{ sogg }x{gy kd`iy }fk zexkd}fiim ia }fo| dkv} lfogm$
(Seo}odc aix hehy'( }fkd' o| }fk }obk }i |kkn li{d|kg oa dkkmkm edm }i hk fidk|} so}f yi{x|kga edm
i}fkx|' }i zxkzexk aix e xe}fkx xkbexnehgk kvzkxokdlk""}fk hox}f ia e (|{h|ku{kd} lfogm$(
_i{ edm yi{x Mil}ix
O} o| obzix}ed} }fe} yi{ |kgkl} e mil}ix sfi o| libaix}ehgk so}f yi{x akkgodc| edm so}f sfib yi{ akkg
axkk od mo|l{||odc yi{x lidlkxd|$ Bi|} sibkd xk}{xd }i }fk zfy|oloed sfi mkgoqkxkm }fk zxklkmodc
lfogm$ _i{ mi feqk e axkkmib ia lfiolk' fiskqkx$ Oa aix edy xke|id yi{ mklomk }i |kgkl} e moaakxkd}
mil}ix' mid#} akkg c{og}y ehi{} o}$ Zfy|oloed| zxkakx ze}okd}| sfi exk libaix}ehgk so}f }fkb' }ii$ ]fk
|ebk axkkmib ia lfiolk ezzgok| }i |kgkl}odc e mil}ix sfi sogg lexk aix }fk lfogm$
Zkxoimoleggy' zexkd}| e|n ehi{} lfedcodc mil}ix| hkle{|k }fky akkg }fe} }fkox zex}ol{gex zfy|oloed se|
di} emku{e}kgy odaixbkm ehi{} \OM\ sfkd }fkox lfogm mokm$ Oa yi{ exk idk ia }fk|k zexkd}|' }enk }obk aix
|ibk lexka{g }fodnodc hkaixk benodc lfedck|$ Skxk yi{ fezzy so}f }fk ckdkxeg lexk hkaixk }fk mke}f
ill{xxkm9 Feqk yi{ e}}kbz}km }i mo|l{|| yi{x akkgodc| so}f }fk zfy|oloed |odlk }fk mke}f9 O} o| kd}oxkgy
zi||ohgk }fe} }fo| se| yi{x zfy|oloed#| aox|} kdli{d}kx so}f \OM\$ Kqkd ebidc mil}ix|' ndisgkmck ehi{}
\OM\ bey hk sika{ggy odemku{e}k$ ]fk mil}ix#| fkgzgk||dk|| edm ax{|}xe}oid bey feqk libk elxi|| }i
yi{ e| leggi{|dk||$ _i{x zfy|oloed bocf} skglibk }fk lfedlk }i }egn }i yi{ dis h{} fe| seo}km aix yi{
}i lxke}k }fk izzix}{do}y$ Oa yi{ mid#} }enk }fk e}}o}{mk ia (O ndis bixk ehi{} }fo| }fed yi{ mi'( }fo|
li{gm hk idk ia yi{x bi|} obzix}ed} (lgkexodc"}fk"eox( mo|l{||oid|$
Ih|}k}xoloed|' zkmoe}xoloed|' edm aebogy zfy|oloed| exk f{bed hkodc|$ \ibk sogg hk iqkx |igolo}i{|' |ibk
{dmkx |igolo}i{| edm bedy |ibksfkxk od hk}skkd$ ]fk beod ziod} o| }i aodm e mil}ix so}f sfib yi{
sogg hk libaix}ehgk$
Hehy Exxoqk|
]fk hox}f ia e |{h|ku{kd} lfogm led hk ed iqkxsfkgbodc kbi}oideg kvzkxokdlk$ Sfkd yi{ |kk edm figm
yi{x dks hehy aix }fk aox|} }obk' yi{ bey aodm }fe} igm bkbixok| libk agiimodc heln edm od}kx}sodk
}fkb|kgqk| so}f }fk hke{}y ia }fo| dks hkodc$ ]fk bibkd} led hk e bov}{xk ia cxke} `iy edm cxke} zeod$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
16/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Idk bi}fkx mk|lxohkm o} e| e ziskxa{g mk|oxk }i figm hi}f lfogmxkd' sfogk ndisodc }fe} o} se| di}
zi||ohgk$ O bkd}oid }fo| zex}ol{gex akkgodc hkle{|k bi|} bi}fkx| kvzkxokdlk o} }i |ibk mkcxkk' edm e
aks exk {dehgk }i {dmkx|}edm o}$ Ae}fkx| akkg o} }ii' eg}fi{cf }fky exk gk|| odlgodkm }i }egn ehi{} o}$ O
bkd}oid }fo| kbi}oid eg|i hkle{|k dkexgy kqkxy zexkd} elndisgkmck| e |}xidc mk|oxk }i lxy""}i lxy sfogk
akkgodc fezzy edm |em e} }fk |ebk }obk$
Hehy `iod| }fk aebogy
]fk aox|} skkn od edy fi{|kfigm so}f e dks hehy o| idk ia esk edm mkgocf}' e| }fk kd}oxk aebogy lkd}kx|
exi{dm }fk dks exxoqeg$ Go}}gk kg|k ck}| midk od }fk aox|} aks mey| kvlkz} se}lfodc edm lexodc aix }fk
hehy' edm di idk |kkb| }i bodm$ Egg }ii |iid e xi{}odk fe| }i hk k|}ehgo|fkm' edm sfogk o} o| |}ogg e fezzy
}obk' i}fkx }e|n| edm xk|zid|ohogo}ok| hkcod }i |fexk obzix}edlk so}f }fk hehy$ ]fo| o| }fk }obk sfkd
hehy }x{gy `iod| }fk aebogy$
Ex}olgk| ehi{} \OM\ axku{kd}gy bkd}oid }fe} zexkd}| |fi{gm di} hklibk iqkxzxi}kl}oqk ia }fk
|{h|ku{kd} lfogm$ \{lf ex}olgk| eg|i }kgg yi{ }fe} fiqkxodc edm hkodc }ii lidlkxdkm exk {dfkeg}fy aix
yi{ edm }fk lfogm$ ]fo| |i{dm| ciim id zezkx' h{} o} o| |ibksfe} bixk moaaol{g} }i z{} od}i zxel}olk$
Sogg yi{ |zkdm }skd}y"ai{x fi{x| e mey hy }fk lxoh9 ]fk ed|skx o| di$ Kqkd oa yi{ }xy' kqkd}{eggy yi{ sogg
ck} }oxkm$ ]fe} o| sfkd yi{ gkexd }i }x{|}""od goqodc' od yi{x|kga edm yi{x qeg{k|$ Gkexdodc }i xkgev edm
}x{|} o| di} egsey| ke|y' h{} o} sogg fezzkd$ _i{ sogg feqk {dke|y bibkd}| dis edm }fkd' h{} yi{ skxk
xkemy aix }fe}' edm yi{ {dmkx|}edm sfy }fky ill{x$
_i{ sogg zxihehgy lfkln id yi{x |gkkzodc hehy bixk axku{kd}gy }fed yi{ mom yi{x i}fkx lfogmxkd$
Zexkd}| ia |{h|ku{kd} lfogmxkd exk }fk aox|} }i embo} }fe} od }fk ze|} }fky {|km }i lfkln }fkox hehok| }i
|kk oa }fky skxk liqkxkm' sfkxke| dis }fky lfkln xk|zoxe}oid$ Bedy hehok| exk u{ok} hxke}fkx|> e
ckd}gk fedm id }fk heln ix }fk }{bby led xke||{xk yi{$ Hehok| mi ze{|k od }fkox hxke}fodc zkxoimoleggy
edm |ibk}obk| zed} aix e hxke}f ix }si$ Oa yi{ xkbkbhkx }fo|' yi{ sogg |eqk yi{x|kga |ibk bibkd}| ia
{dke|odk||$ \odlk zexkd}| ia |{h|ku{kd} lfogmxkd exk lidlkxdkm ehi{} edy}fodc }i mi so}f hxke}fodc' o}
o| obzix}ed} }i xkbkbhkx }fe} dks hehok| mi e aeox ebi{d} ia |dix}odc edm |dkkpodc e} aox|}$ Dks
hgednk}| edm moezkx| led le{|k }fo|' egidc so}f }fk hehy#| ckdkxeg em`{|}bkd} }i fo| dks kdqoxidbkd}$
E mo|l{||oid aix bi}fkx|
_i{ leddi} }ok yi{x|kga }i e }skd}y"ai{x fi{x |lfkm{gk mkmole}km kd}oxkgy }i }fk hehy$ _i{ bey sed} }i
mi kqkxy}fodc aix }fk hehy yi{x|kga edm' so}fi{} xkegopodc o}' }fkxkhy kvlg{mk i}fkx bkbhkx| ia }fk
aebogy axib hkodc e| b{lf e zex} ia }fk lexk ia }fk hehy e| }fky si{gm gonk }i hk$
Sfogk yi{ skxk zxkcded}' yi{ bey feqk bemk bedy xk|ig{}oid| ehi{} fis yi{ si{gm akkg edm fis yi{
si{gm el}$ Dis }fe} }fk hehy o| fkxk' o} o| ciim }obk }i xk"kvebodk |ibk igm akkgodc|$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
17/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Sfkd e lfogm mok|' e bi}fkx bey akkg }fe} }fk kqkd} }fxke}kd| fkx obeck ia fkx|kga e| e (ciim( bi}fkx$
Eg}fi{cf }fe} mke}f le|} di xkagkl}oid id fkx ehogo}y }i bi}fkx' }fk akkgodc| }fe} exk gka} feqk b{lf }i
mi so}f }fk kbi}oid| odqigqkm od lexodc aix }fk |{h|ku{kd} lfogm$ Bi|} bi}fkx| feqk eg|i hkkd
|{h`kl}km' e} |ibk ziod} od }fk ze|}' }i xkeg ix obecodkm libbkd}| id ckdkxeg lexk axib |ibkhimy$
Hkle{|k ia }fo|' bedy bi}fkx| feqk kvzxk||km e dkkm }i }{xd od}i |ibk nodm ia e (|{zkx bi}fkx( so}f
}fk dkv} lfogm$ Egidc so}f }fo| dkkm }i hk e (|{zkx bi}fkx'( }fky eg|i kvzkxokdlk e akex ia (giqodc( }ii
b{lf> }fk }fi{cf} ia zi||ohgk |kzexe}oid axib }fo| dks hehy si{gm hk ke|okx oa }fky xk|kxqkm |ibk ia
}fkox giqk$
]fk|k exk qkxy dixbeg edm f{bed }fi{cf}|' edm oa yi{ feqk }fkb' yi{ exk di} egidk$ ]fk dkkm }i skex
e |ocd }fe} |ey|' (\kk sfe} e bexqkgi{| bi}fkx O eb'( edm yk} zxoqe}kgy figm heln yi{x akkgodc| }i |zexk
yi{x|kga' led hk e qkxy mkkz dkkm }fe} |}kb| axib }fk ze|} }fxke} }i yi{x obeck ia yi{x|kga$
Kqkxy bi}fkx eg|i xkbkbhkx| bibkd}| so}f }fk lfogm sfi mokm' edm xkbkbhkxodc led le{|k b{lf
zeod$ Bi}fkx| xkbkbhkx gk}}odc }fk hehy lxy e aks kv}xe bod{}k|' iqkxakkmodc }fk hehy' ix hkodc
oxxo}e}km edm }oxkm edm {dehgk }i libaix} }fk hehy m{xodc e a{||y zkxoim$ Sfkd bi}fkx| xkbkbhkx
}fk|k }fodc|' }fky eg|i xkbkbhkx benodc e |ogkd} qis }fe} }fkxk si{gm dkqkx hk edy}fodc }fky si{gm
di} }igkxe}k od edi}fkx lfogm$
Edm dis' so}f }fk |{h|ku{kd} lfogm' zkizgk exk }kggodc yi{ }i di} |zkdm egg yi{x }obk so}f yi{x dks
hehy edm di} }i le}kx }i fo| kqkxy sfob$ \ibkfis yi{x dkkm| edm yi{x akkgodc| |kkb di} }i ao} }fk
emqolk$
Gk}#| hk xkego|}ol$ ]fkxk o| di |{lf }fodc e| e (|{zkx bi}fkx( dix o| }fkxk e sey yi{ led so}ffigm giqk$
]fk sidmkxa{g }fodc ehi{} zexkd}| o| }fkox ehogo}y }i fedmgk |i bedy moaakxkd} kbi}oid|$ _i{ sogg ck}
}oxkm' ax{|}xe}km' edm xk|kd}a{g ia }fk geln ia zxoqely }fe} libk| so}f lfogmxkd$ _i{ sogg eg|i aodm kdmgk||
ehogo}ok| }i giqk edm ellkz}$ Hehok| lxy' edm gk}}odc }fkb lxy aix e aks kv}xe bod{}k| sogg di} f{x} }fkb$
Iqkxakkmodc fezzkd| e| e hehy mklomk| `{|} fis b{lf aiim fk dkkm| id ed kqkx"lfedcodc |lfkm{gk$
Hehok| ck} lxi|| edm }oxkm' edm |i mi bi}fkx|$ Od |fix}' }fkxk o| di |{lf }fodc e| e zkxakl} zexkd} ix e
zkxakl} hehy$
_i{ sogg feqk }i aodm yi{x isd bk}fim ia fedmgodc }fk |o}{e}oid edm gkexdodc }i xkgev$ [dmkx|}edmodc
yi{x akkgodc| sogg eg|i fkgz yi{ od di} hklibodc e |geqk }i kqkxy sfob ia }fo| dks hehy$ Idk qkxy |begg
f{bed hkodc led u{olngy }{xd od}i e }yxed} so}f `{|} e go}}gk kdli{xeckbkd}$ ]fo| mik| di} bked }fe} yi{
leddi} odm{gck yi{x dkkm }i hk iqkxzxi}kl}oqk idlk od e sfogk' dix mik| o} bked }fe} yi{ |fi{gm di}
xiln' l{mmgk' ix |zkdm bixk }obk so}f }fk hehy }fed i}fkx| }fodn dklk||exy$ Hkodc iqkxzxi}kl}oqk o| di}
}fk |ebk }fodc e| kd`iyodc yi{x hehy$
\k} yi{x isd }kxb| edm goqk so}f }fkb$ Miodc sfe} zgke|k| i}fkx| o| }fk hocck|} }xez ia egg$ Kd`iy kelf
mey so}f }fk dks hehy }i }fk a{ggk|}$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
18/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
E mo|l{||oid aix ae}fkx|
Ae}fkx| ckdkxeggy akkg e cxke}kx lidlkxd ehi{} }fo| hehy' }fed }fky mom ehi{} }fkox i}fkx lfogmxkd$ ]fo|
mik| di} bked }fe} }fky mo|l{|| o} ix |fis o} e| b{lf' h{} }fky mi akkg o}$
@{|} e| so}f bi}fkx|' }fk mke}f ia e lfogm o| }fxke}kdodc }i e ae}fkx#| obeck ia fob|kga""di} idgy e| e
ae}fkx' h{} e| }fk zxiqomkx edm zxi}kl}ix ia }fk skgg"hkodc ia fo| aebogy$ O} o| od}kxk|}odc }i ih|kxqk fkxk
}fe} sfogk bi}fkx| exk lidlkxdkm ehi{} sfe} }fky bocf} feqk midk sxidc m{xodc zxkcdedly ix od
lexodc aix }fk lfogm' ae}fkx| exk lidlkxdkm ehi{} hkodc }fk lexxokx| ia ckdk}ol zxihgkb| ix ehi{} di}
zxiqomodc }fk hk|} zi||ohgk fibk aix }fkox aebogy$ Didk ia }fk|k }fodc| feqk edy hkexodc id }fk mke}f ia
}fk odaed}' h{} }fk ael} }fe} }fky skxk le{|k aix lidlkxd e} idk }obk o| ciodc }i benk }fk|k }fi{cf}|
|{xaelk eceod so}f }fk (|{h|ku{kd} lfogm$(
_i{ sogg aodm yi{x|kga |{h`kl} }i bedy ia }fk akkgodc| edm xkel}oid| ia }fk bi}fkx' kqkd oa yi{ exk di}
|zkdmodc e| b{lf }obk od }fk fi{|kfigm$ Fkexodc }fk hehy lxy led hk `{|} e| kbi}oideggy {z|k}}odc }i
}fk ae}fkx e| }i }fk bi}fkx$ Ae}fkx| bey hk ax{|}xe}km hkle{|k }fky exk {dlkx}eod fis }i lid|igk }fk
lfogm$ Sfogk }fkox eh|kdlk axib }fk fi{|kfigm led |ibk}obk| coqk }fkb e bixk ih`kl}oqk e}}o}{mk sfkd
}fky xk}{xd fibk' }fe} |ebk eh|kdlk led eg|i coqk }fkb bibkd}| ia {dke|odk|| hkle{|k }fky akkg }fky
feqk gk|| lid}xig ia }fk |o}{e}oid$
Bi}fkx| edm ae}fkx| ia}kd kvzxk|| }fkox lidlkxd| moaakxkd}gy$ So}f }fk |{h|ku{kd} lfogm o} o| bixk
obzix}ed} }fed kqkx }fe} yi{ xklicdopk kelf i}fkx#| moaakxkdlk| edm }egn ehi{} }fkb' aodmodc e
libaix}ehgk |ig{}oid$ ]fk {dke|y bibkd}| sogg hk gk|| {dke|y sfkd yi{ el} }ick}fkx$
E mo|l{||oid ehi{} i}fkx lfogmxkd od }fk aebogy
Oa yi{ feqk i}fkx lfogmxkd' yi{ sogg feqk }i sixn mi{hgy fexm }i benk }fkb akkg }fe} }fk hehy o| zex} ia
}fk aebogy edm }fe} kelf lfogm o| obzix}ed}$ Mkzkdmodc id }fk eck ia kelf lfogm' yi{ led mkqkgiz sey|
}fe} eggis fob }i akkg obzix}ed}' }i feqk }obk so}f fo| zexkd}| so}fi{} }fk hehy' edm }i |fexk od }fk
lexk ia }fk dks hehy$
E gi} bixk o| ndisd ehi{} zexkd}|# akkgodc| edm xkel}oid| }i }fk mke}f ia e hehy }fed o| ndisd ehi{}
fis lfogmxkd akkg edm xkel}$ Kqkd }fk yi{dck|} lfogm xkel}| od |ibk sey }i }fk mke}f ia }fk zxkqoi{|
lfogm' sfk}fkx }fe} xkel}oid o| qo|ohgk' ix di}$ ]fo| dks hehy li{gm benk ed igmkx lfogm akkg }fe}
(xkzgelodc( fob o| zi||ohgk' }ii$ Ix fk bey akkg }fe} fk b{|} |{zzxk|| }fk dixbeg xk|kd}bkd}| lfogmxkd
feqk }isexm e dks hxi}fkx ix |o|}kx$ E lfogm led feqk kdixbi{| c{og} akkgodc| ehi{} `{|} le}lfodc e ligm
edm kvzi|odc }fk dks odaed} }i o}$
Kqkxy aebogy o| moaakxkd}' h{} bi|} aebogok| so}f e |{h|ku{kd} lfogm ecxkk }fe} o} }enk| kv}xe kaaix} }i
em`{|} edm |}ogg z{} }fk gke|} zi||ohgk ebi{d} ia |}xk|| id kelf aebogy bkbhkx$ ]fky eg|i ecxkk }fe}
kv}xe lid|omkxe}oid aix kelf i}fkx lxke}km e dks aebogy hidm }fe} bemk }fk zkxoim ia odaedly e aex
fezzokx }obk }fed }fky fem ed}oloze}km$ ]fk {dke|y bibkd}| exk di} kgobode}km' h{} |fexodc }fkb
fkgzkm }i }enk }fk kmck iaa$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
19/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
E mo|l{||oid ehi{} qo|o}ix|
_i{x xkge}oqk| edm axokdm| sogg egg sed} }i |fexk od yi{x fezzodk|| so}f }fk dks hehy$ Sfogk yi{ bey hk
{dod}kxk|}km od feqodc b{lf libzedy edm |ibksfe} egexbkm ehi{} }fk zxi|zkl} ia bedy zkizgk
fedmgodc }fk hehy' yi{ sogg feqk }i aodm e sey }i benk yi{x xkge}oqk| edm axokdm| e zex} ia }fo| fezzy
ille|oid$
Hxoka qo|o}| exk hk|} aix edy dks hehy' edm yi{ led hk aoxb h{} ckd}gk ehi{} }fo|$ Oa yi{ exxedck qo|o}|
sfogk }fk hehy o| |gkkzodc' yi{ led kgobode}k }fk izzix}{do}y }i fedmgk }fk hehy$ Kvkxlo|k zxkle{}oid'
h{} mid#} iqkxmi o}$
Xkge}oqk| led iaakx e qkxy |zkloeg giqk }i yi{x dks lfogm }fe} leddi} hk ai{dm kg|ksfkxk$ ]fk|k qkxy
|ebk xkge}oqk| feqk |ibk |}xidc akkgodc| ehi{} }fk kqkd}| od }fk ze|}' edm }fkox dkkm }i |kk edm hk so}f
}fo| lfogm bey hk zex} ia }fkox xkel}oid$ E| }fky |}x{ccgk }i fedmgk }fkox isd akkgodc|' yi{ sogg feqk }i
fkgz }fkb$ Oa }fky coqk kv}xe emqolk' mid#} xkel} }i o} e| e }fxke} }i yi{x ehogo}ok|$ \ibk}obk| }fo| }enk| e
gi} ia ze}okdlk' h{} yi{ b{|} {dmkx|}edm |ibk ia }fkox ax{|}xe}oid| }ii$
Lfogmxkd giqk hehok|' edm sfkd e dkocfhix ix axokdm fe| e dks idk' }fky sed} }i qo|o}$ \begg lfogmxkd' oa
|{zkxqo|km' sogg hk |ibk ia yi{x bi|} mkgocf}a{g qo|o}ix|$ ]fky {|{eggy |}ey `{|} gidc kdi{cf }i |e}o|ay
}fkox l{xoi|o}y$ ]fky mi di} coqk yi{ {dsed}km emqolk$ Hk|} ia egg' }fky feqk }fkox isd sey ia benodc
yi{' edm }fk hehy' akkg qkxy |zkloeg$
Sfkd }fk hehy `iod| }fk aebogy' }fk x{gk| exk {z }i yi{$ ]xy di} }i hk iqkx lidlkxdkm }i }fk ziod} ia
hkodc odlid|omkxe}k$ O} o| di} egsey| ke|y' h{} }xy$
E mo|l{||oid ehi{} zedol
Od edy mo|l{||oid ia yi{x dks hehy' o} si{gm hk {daeox }i eqiom bkd}oidodc zedol> e| o} fezzkd| }i
egbi|} kqkxyhimy$ ]fk idgy ciim }fodc ehi{} zedol o| }fe} o} mik| di} ge|} qkxy gidc' kqkd }fi{cf o}
gkeqk| yi{ akkgodc gonk e gobz lgi}f$
Sfe} o| zedol9 Zedol o| axkkpodc e} }fk miix ia }fk hehy#| xiib edm di} hkodc ehgk }i kd}kx aix e bod{}k
hkle{|k yi{ exk zi|o}oqk }fe} |ibk}fodc o| sxidc$ Zedol o| senodc {z od }fk bommgk ia }fk docf} edm
feqodc |ibkidk kg|k lfkln }fk hehy sfogk yi{ hxken i{} od e ligm |ske}$ Zedol o| lidqodlodc yi{x|kga
}fe} }fk hehy o| di} hxke}fodc' |fenodc fob edm feqodc e }si"bid}f"igm giin e} yi{ |gkkzogy' sidmkxodc
sfi fe| |i x{mkgy od}kxx{z}km fo| mxkeb|$ Zedol o| feqodc yi{x aoqk"bid}f"igm aegg e|gkkz od e `{bz|ke}
sfkd yi{ fem yi{x heln }{xdkm aix e bod{}k$ Zedol led libk aix e qexok}y ia xke|id|' edm |ibk}obk|
}fkxk |kkb| }i hk di xke|id e} egg$ Dis }fe} o} o| i{} od }fk izkd' sfe} mi yi{ mi so}f o}9
Aox|} ia egg' xkbkbhkx }fe} zedol o| di}fodc }i hk e|febkm ia$ Fidk|} zexkd}| embo} }fe} }fky
kvzkxokdlk zedol kqkd oa }fkxk fe| hkkd di}fodc od }fk ze|} }i feqk coqkd }fkb edy le{|k$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
20/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Oa yi{ feqk bibkd}| ia hkodc eaxeom }fe} }fo| dks lfogm sogg hklibk e qol}ob ia \OM\' yi{ ndis sfy yi{
exk eaxeom$ _i{ exk eaxeom hkle{|k di idk led }kgg yi{ }fe} O] sogg di} fezzkd eceod$ ]fo| bey |kkb
fkex}gk||' h{} e} }fk |ebk }obk' dihimy led e||{xk yi{ }fe} edy d{bhkx ia i}fkx legebo}ok| sogg di}
ill{x ko}fkx$
Zedol led hk le{|km hy }ii b{lf }obk egidk' }ii b{lf }obk }i }fodn' edm zkxfez| }fk }kxxohgk h{xmkd ia
hkgokqodc }fe} yi{x zxk|kdlk egidk o| nkkzodc }fk hehy egoqk' }fe} yi{ exk e xi{dm"}fk"lgiln f{bed
xk|zoxe}ix$
Zedol }kelfk| idk qkxy qeg{ehgk gk||id$ _i{x cxke}k|} akex o| di} aix }fk hehy' h{} aix yi{x|kga$ Edm yi{x
lidlkxd o| fis yi{ si{gm |{xqoqk kbi}oideggy oa yi{ gi|} }fo| lfogm' }ii$ Hxodcodc zedol i{} od }fk izkd
edm giinodc e} o} led hk bi|} fkgza{g$ ]fkd yi{ led hkcod }i aodm sey| }i mkeg so}f o}$
Oa yi{ exk idk ia }fi|k zkizgk sfi se| lidqodlkm }fe} |fk si{gm |zkdm }fk aox|} |ov bid}f| ia }fk
hehy#| goak e} fibk' hkcod }i xk|fezk yi{x }fodnodc$ Mid#} seo} aix e lxo|o| }i gkeqk }fk hehy so}f
|ibkidk kg|k$ \}ex} e| |iid e| zi||ohgk }i sked yi{x|kga$ Miodc o} cxem{eggy sogg benk o} ke|okx$ Oa yi{
feqk cxedmzexkd}|' xkge}oqk|' ix ciim axokdm| dkexhy sfi led fkgz' gk} }fkb$ Oa di}' xkgy id yi{x
f{|hedm e} }fk hkcoddodc$ ]enk hxoka i{}odc| edm }fkd sixn yi{x sey od}i e aks fi{x|$ Hkodc od lid}xig
o| ia}kd mkzkdmkd} {zid xkbiqodc yi{x|kga axib }fk fi{|kfigm aix e sfogk$ Ck}}odc esey eg|i fkgz| yi{
xkbkbhkx }fe} yi{ exk e |kzexe}k zkx|id so}f e dkkm aix zxoqely$
Aodmodc |ibkidk }i |}ey so}f hehy' fiskqkx' o| di} egsey| zi||ohgk' dix o| o} }fk }i}eg ed|skx$ O} o|
zi||ohgk }i |}ob{ge}k edm ill{zy yi{x bodm so}fod yi{x isd fi{|kfigm' hy xkemodc' zeod}odc' ix }enodc e
lixxk|zidmkdlk li{x|k$ _i{ led hk xk|i{xlka{g kdi{cf }i aodm |ibk}fodc so}fod xke|id edm so}fod yi{x
klidibol bked|$ (Ck}}odc esey( mik| di} egsey| bked gkeqodc }fk fi{|k$
]fk }kgkzfidk led hk e goakgodk }i lid}el} so}f i}fkx zkizgk$ Bibkd}| ia ezzxkfkd|oid led ia}kd hk
ke|km hy }egnodc }i edi}fkx em{g}$ Godk {z idk ix }si ciim axokdm| sfi sogg hk esexk }fe} yi{ bey dkkm
}i legg idlk od e sfogk `{|} }i liggkl} yi{x|kga$ Oa yi{ goqk dkex e qig{d}exy ixcedope}oid yi{ led ih}eod }fk
debk| ia |kqkxeg zexkd}| sfi feqk fem e |{h|ku{kd} lfogm edm sfi exk eqeogehgk hy }kgkzfidk sfkd
yi{ dkkm }fkb$ \ibk}obk| `{|} ndisodc }fe} }fkxk exk zkizgk sfib yi{ led lid}el} sfkd yi{ exk
ezzxkfkd|oqk led xkbiqk yi{x dkkm }i mi |i$
]fk bi|} {dlibaix}ehgk zkxoim sogg hk }fk ziod} sfkd yi{x |{h|ku{kd} lfogm xkelfk| }fk eck ia }fk
lfogm sfi mokm$ O} o| idk ia }fi|k bogk|}idk| }fe} fe| }i hk xkelfkm edm ze||km$ Idlk o} o|' bi|} zexkd}|
xkzix} }fe} }fkox bibkd}| ia {dke|odk|| |}ex} }i mklxke|k$
Bi|} ia egg' hk e||{xkm }fe} yi{ exk di} }fk idgy zkx|id }i kvzkxokdlk {dke|odk|| ix zedol$ Dkexgy
kqkxyidk mik|$ _i{ led idgy mi yi{x hk|} od aodmodc sey| }i fedmgk o}$ Oa yi{ exk {dke|y bi|} ia }fk
}obk' }fkd lid|{g} yi{x mil}ix aix |ibk emmo}oideg fkgz$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
21/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
\{xqoqodc }fk Gi|| ia e Lfogm
Dihimy ndis| sfe} }fky led fedmgk {d}og }fky feqk }i$ Oa |ibkidk fem }igm bk }fe} by lfogm se| ciodc
}i mok' edm O se| ciodc }i |{xqoqk o}' O si{gm feqk |eom' _i{xk eh|ig{}kgy lxepy$ O li{gm dkqkx fedmgk
}fe}$ Bi}fkx ia e |}ogghixd me{cf}kx
]fk mke}f ia e lfogm o| zkxfez| }fk {g}obe}k |filn' idk sfolf |kkb| }ii fixxkdmi{| }i ae}fib$ E| yi{
}xy }i lizk so}f sfe} fe| fezzkdkm' idk ia }fk bi|} mo|}{xhodc o||{k| }i mkeg so}f o| }fk sxidcdk|| ia
yi{x lfogm| mke}f$ Hkle{|k' }fk de}{xeg ixmkx o| aix yi{ }i zxklkmk yi{x lfogm od mke}f' yi{ b{|}' sfkd
yi{x lfogm mok|' xkem`{|} }i e dks edm |kkbodcgy oggicoleg xkego}y$ ]fo| xkego}y |ey| }fe} kqkd }fi{cf yi{
exk igmkx' feqk hkkd }fk lexk}enkx' edm feqk e |fix}kx a{}{xk' yi{ feqk |{xqoqkm sfogk yi{x lfogm' sfi
fem }fk xocf}}i |{xqoqk' fe| di}$
]fo| {dou{k odmoqom{eg yi{ giqkm |i mkkzgy fe| hkkd }enkd esey axib yi{$ Di}fodc dix di idk
led xkbkmy yi{x gi||$ Feqodc i}fkx lfogmxkd ix hkodc ehgk }i feqk edi}fkx hehy mik| di} mobodo|f yi{x
cxoka iqkx yi{x lfogm| mke}f$ Xk|kexlfkx| feqk ai{dm' aix kvebzgk' }fe} bi}fkx| sfi gi|k idk hehy od e
|k} ia }sod| cxokqk `{|} e| b{lf e| bi}fkx| sfi gi|k e |odcgk dkshixd hehy$
Gi|odc sfe} yi{x lfogm xkzxk|kd}|
Od emmo}oid }i lizodc so}f }fk gi|| ia e zex}ol{gex edm {dou{k odmoqom{eg' yi{ exk eg|i hkodc |kxoi{|gy
eaakl}km hy }fk eh|kdlk ia sfe} yi{x lfogm xkzxk|kd}km }i yi{$
Fk ix |fk xkzxk|kd}km |kqkxeg' ix kqkd egg' ia }fk aiggisodc0
Zex} ia yi{x |kga> zex} ia yi{x zfy|oleg himy$ _i{x isd liddkl}oid }i }fk a{}{xk$ _i{x giqk |i{xlk$ \ibk ia yi{x }xke|{xkm u{ego}ok| edm }egkd}|$ _i{x bo||km kvzkl}e}oid|$ E gi|| ia yi{x isd ziskx$
O} fkgz| }i kvebodk kelf ia }fk|k hxokagy' od ixmkx }i a{ggy {dmkx|}edm o}| obzel}$
Zex} ia yi{x |kga> zex} ia yi{x zfy|oleg himy$E| yi{ bi{xd' yi{ xkbodo|lk e| aex heln e| yi{x lfogm|
qkxy hkcoddodc|' }i fo| ix fkx lidlkz}oid$ _i{ lid|omkx }fk zfy|oleg lfexel}kxo|}ol| ia yi{x lfogm edm
ail{| zex}ol{gexgy id }fi|k sfolf hkex xk|kbhgedlk }i yi{ ix yi{x |zi{|k$
_i{x isd liddkl}oid }i }fk a{}{xk$ _i{x zkx|ideg lid}od{o}y se| kbhimokm od yi{x lfogm$ ]fk }si ia
yi{ skxk hi{dm }ick}fkx edm biqodc aixsexm od}i }fk {zlibodc ykex|$Sfy eb O hi}fkxodc so}f goak9 Fis led O ci id so}f by goak sfkd by |id o| mkem9 E lfogm o| |i
b{lf e zex} ia yi{x a{}{xk }fe} sfkd zkx|id &Bi}fkx ia e }kkdeckm |id sfi se| noggkm od ed ellomkd}/
_i{x giqk |i{xlk$_i{ feqk i}fkx giqk |i{xlk|' h{} didk o| }fk |ebk e| yi{x lfogm| giqk aix yi{$ ]fo|
giqk se| he|km id dkkm' mkzkdmkdlk' emboxe}oid' edm ezzxkloe}oid$ _i{ skxk }fk bimkg aix yi{x lfogm'
edm yi{x lfogm| giqk se| kvzxk||km hy kb{ge}odc yi{x hkfeqoix$ Eg|i' mkzkdmodc {zid yi{x lfogm|
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
22/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
zkx|idego}y' yi{ skxk giqkm so}f deoqk}' }kdmkxdk||' xkg{l}edlk' |}{hhixd mk}kxbode}oid' `iy' ix kqkd
f{bix$
\ibk ia yi{x isd }xke|{xkm u{ego}ok| edm }egkd}|$ _i{ |es od yi{x lfogm |ibk ia }fk u{ego}ok| edm
}egkd}| yi{ bi|} qeg{k od yi{x|kga$ ]fk|k e}}xoh{}k| bey feqk |kkbkm }i hk becdoaokm edm bixk focfgy
mkqkgizkm od yi{x lfogm$ Aix kvebzgk' yi{ bey egsey| feqk }fi{cf} }fe}' coqkd |ibk kdli{xeckbkd} ix
}xeododc' yi{ si{gm feqk hkkd e |{llk||a{g |illkx zgeykx' heggk} medlk' ix `epp b{|oloed$ E| yi{x lfogm
mkqkgizkm' yi{ |es }fi|k |ebk }egkd}| kbkxcodc kaaix}gk||gy ix }i e cxke}kx mkcxkk od yi{x |id ix
me{cf}kx$ \obogexgy' yi{ bey egsey| feqk qeg{km yi{x isd lezelo}y' fiskqkx bkeckx' aix kvfoho}odc
kbze}fy' li{xeck' ix so}$ _i{ |es }fi|k u{ego}ok| xkagkl}km |}xidcgy od yi{x lfogm$ E| yi{ se}lfkm yi{x
lfogm cxis' kelf zi|o}oqk e}}xoh{}k hklebk e mkkzkx |i{xlk ia zxomk$
Bo||km kvzkl}e}oid|$ ]fk kvzkxokdlk| }fe} yi{ fem ed}oloze}km |fexodc so}f yi{ lfogm dkqkx fezzkdkm$
]fk zxibo|km ykex| ia yi{x lfogm| meogy goak edm el}oqo}ok| exk }fxisd esey$ O} se| e| oa }fk|k ykex| fem
hkkd eggi}}km }i yi{ edm yi{x lfogm' edm }fkd }fky skxk |{mmkdgy xk}xokqkm$ ]fk yi{dckx yi{x lfogm se|
e} }fk }obk ia mke}f' }fk bixk yi{ ed}oloze}km edm }fk bixk kvzkl}e}oid| yi{ fem ehi{} fo| ix fkx
hkfeqoix' cieg|' ellibzgo|fbkd}| edm zgke|{xk|$ Od }fo| xk|zkl}' }fk gidckx yi{x lfogm| goak kvzkl}edly
se|' }fk cxke}kx yi{x gi||$
E gi|| ia yi{x isd ziskx$ ]i |ibk mkcxkk' yi{ bey |kk yi{x lfogm| mke}f e| e aeog{xk id yi{x zex}$ _i{
akkg edckx edm ax{|}xe}oid e} di} hkodc ehgk }i feqk kvkx}km |ibk lid}xig iqkx yi{x lfogm| ae}k$ _i{ goqk
so}f }fk omke }fe} |ilok}y kvzkl}| yi{ }i zxi}kl} yi{x lfogm' h{} yi{ momd} zxi}kl} fob axib zeod> yi{
momd} zxi}kl} fkx axib mke}f$ _i{ akkg obzi}kd}$ Aix e gidc }obk ea}kx }fk mke}f' }fkxk bey hk di
aocf} gka} od yi{' di |}xkdc}f aix }fk bi|} ixmodexy ia }e|n|' edm di bkd}eg lezelo}y aix' dix od}kxk|} od'
libzgkv }fodnodc$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
23/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Bo|lexxoeck|' \}ogghox}f| edm Dkide}eg Mke}f
\ibk libbid o||{k| exk xeo|km e| e xk|{g} ia bo|lexxoeck|' |}ogghox}f|' edm dkide}eg mke}f$ Egg ia }fk|k
mke}f| odqigqk hehok| sfi feqk di} yk} hkkd xklicdopkm hy i}fkx| edm sfi feqk di} yk} hkkd
mk|ocde}km e zgelk od |ilok}y$ Ckdkxeggy' {dgk|| }fk lfogm fem e zkx|idego}y edm e zxk|kdlk }fe} se|
ih|kxqkmhy i}fkx zkizgk' }fk |{xqoqix| cxoka o| lid|omkxkm }i hk gk|| obzix}ed} }fed o} si{gm hk so}f
}fk gi|| ia ed igmkx lfogm' e |zi{|k' zexkd}' ix axokdm$ Od ael}' mke}f m{k }i bo|lexxoeck ix }fk mke}f ia e
dkshixd odaed} bey hk qox}{eggy ocdixkm$
Od }fo| }yzk ia gi|| *odaed} mke}f. o} o| zex}ol{gexgy moaaol{g} hkle{|k bi|} zkizgk mid} kqkd
xkegopk }fe} e gi|| fe| ill{xxkm$ Bi|} ia i{x hehok| exk lge||oaokm e| didzkx|id|$ Exk sk lxepy
hkle{|k skxk cxokqodc aix |ibkhimy sfi se|d}9 &Sixn|fiz aelogo}e}ix aix sibkd sfi feqk
|{xqoqkm }fk mke}f ia ed odaed}/
]fo| geln ia elndisgkmckbkd} edm |ybze}fy axib i}fkx| mkzxoqk| }fk zexkd}| ia b{lf"dkkmkm |{zzix}'
{dmkx|}edmodc edm eaakl}oid$
[dgk|| zkizgk exk moxkl}gy odqigqkm' }fky exk di} gonkgy }i }egn ehi{} e mke}f sfolf ill{x| m{xodc
kexgy odaedly$ ]fk|k |ogkd} axokdm| edm xkge}oqk| |obzgy mi di} ndis sfe} }i |ey' ix oa }fky |fi{gm|ey
edy}fodc$ ]fky mi di} kvzxk|| }fk ezzxizxoe}k |ybze}fy hkle{|k }fky mi di} {dmkx|}edm fis mkkzgy
akg} }fk gi|| o|$ ]fky bey kqkd qoks }fk hehy| mke}f e| ed ellomkd}' e bo|aix}{de}k loxl{b|}edlk }fe}
led hk xocf}km hy }fk hox}f ia edi}fkx lfogm$
Zkizgk exk eg|i lida{|km ehi{} sfe} }i mi$ ]fky mi di} ndis oa }fky |fi{gm |kdm agiskx| ix e
mide}oid$ ]fk coa} }fky fem egxkemy coqkd }fk kvzkl}ed} zexkd}| bey le{|k }fkb kbhexxe||bkd} edm
mo|}xk||$
A{x}fkx' }fky bey hk |}x{ln hy }fk xkegope}oid }fe} oa }fo| }yzk ia mke}f led lgeob }fk goak ia }fkox
axokdm| ix xkge}oqk| odaed}' o} o| eg|i zi||ohgk aix o} }i lgeob }fkox hehy| goak$O xkbkbhkx hkodc xkeg esexk ia }fk ael} }fe} kqkd by lgi|k|} axokdm| skxk i{} }fkxk ciodc'
Sfks' O |}ogg feqk by nom|$ &Bi}fkx ia e |}ogghixd hehy/
Zkizgk sfi mi }xy }i libaix} e cxokqodc zexkd} ia}kd benk esnsexm |}e}kbkd}| }fe} emm }i }fk
zexkd}| mk|zeox$ _i{xk hk}}kx iaa' }fky |ey' hkle{|k |ibk}fodc si{gm feqk hkkd sxidc so}f }fk
hehy' edysey$ ]fodn fis fexm }fe} si{gm feqk hkkd$ Ix }fky e||kx}' Oa o} fem }i fezzkd }i edyhimy'
o}| iney }fe} o} fezzkdkm }i yi{ hkle{|k yi{xk xkeggy |}xidc edm yi{xk }fk nodm ia zkx|id sfi led
fedmgk o}$ Oli{gm dkqkx fedmgk o}$
Oa yi{ feqk gi|} e hehy m{xodc zxkcdedly' ix od }fk aox|} bid}f| ia goak' xkcexmgk|| ia fis skgg
yi{ |kkb }i hk fedmgodc o}' yi{ sogg kvzkxokdlk |ibk mkkz edm lid|{bodc akkgodc| sfolf bey lid}od{kaix bixk }fed e ykex$ ]fk|k li{gm odlg{mk edckx' edvok}y' |emdk||' mk|zeox' lida{|oid' c{og}' edm gis |kga"
k|}kkb$ Bedy ia }fk|k dkce}oqk akkgodc| exo|k axib e geln ia {dmkx|}edmodc xkcexmodc yi{x hehy| mke}f$
]fk |kexlf aix e le{|k
E| yi{ |kkn }i omkd}oay }fk le{|k ia yi{x lfogm| mke}f' yi{ bey xkegopk yi{ exk edcxy e} }fk bkmoleg
libb{do}y$ ]fk mil}ix bey hk zkxlkoqkm e| feqodc hkkd x{|fkm' odmoaakxkd}' {dlexodc' {d|noggkm' ix
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
24/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
}kbzkxebkd}eg$ \ibk}obk| zexkd}| sfi |kkn ed|skx| ehi{} }fkox hehy| mke}f exk }igm hy }fk mil}ix
}fe} }fo| le|k o| e xexk idk edm }fe} }fkxk exk' e| yk}' di omkd}oaoehgk le{|k| aix }fk mke}f$ Zexkd}|
xkakxxkm aix ckdk}ol li{d|kgodc bey akkg }fky exk ed|skxodc bedy zxiqile}oqk u{k|}oid| zi|km }i }fkb
hy zxiak||oideg|' h{} }fky exk di} xklkoqodc edy zkx}odkd} ix bkedodca{g odaixbe}oid axib }fkb od
xk}{xd$
O} se| e} by so}| kdm sed}odc }i feqk egg }fk |}{mok| midk edm feqk egg }fk }k|}| edm }enk egg }fk
bkmolodk |i O li{gm mi o} xocf} edi}fkx }obk$ By mil}ix }igm bk }fe} kqkd }fi{cf O fem gi|} }si
zxkcdedlok|' O femd} gi|} kdi{cf }i hk |}e}o|}oleggy |ocdoaoled}$
&Sibed sfi fem idk bo|lexxoeck edm idk |}ogghox}f/
Aix}{de}kgy' bedy mil}ix| exk |kd|o}oqk }i e ze}okd}| akkgodc ia q{gdkxehogo}y aiggisodc }fk {dkvzgeodkm
mke}f ia e hehy$ ]fk bkmoleg libb{do}y' fiskqkx' ia}kd aeog| }i elndisgkmck }fk egbi|} ih|k||oqk
dkkm yi{ feqk }i {dmkx|}edm }fk xke|id aix sfe} fe| fezzkdkm$
_i{ sidmkx fis b{lf lid}xig yi{ feqk' Mizk emmol}| feqk fkeg}fy hehok|$ Eglifigol| feqk
fkeg}fy hehok|$ ]fkxk o| |i b{lf kbzfe|o| dis id }enodc lexk ia yi{x|kga' di} mxodnodc liaakk
edm ck}}odc kvkxlo|k$ Oa yi{ mi egg ia }fi|k }fodc| edm yi{x zxkcdedly aeog|' o} o| kv}xkbkgy
lfeggkdcodc }i yi{x hkgoka| ehi{} miodc }fk xocf} }fodc$ &Sibkd sfi fem kvzkxokdlkm e
|}ogghox}f/
Sfe} benk| o} fexmkx o| }fk bkmoleg zxiak||oid o| dkqkx |{xk sfy$ ]fky sogg coqk yi{ |ibk
odaixbe}oid edm }fkd |ey' Skgg' }fo| o| `{|} e }fkixy$ &_i{dc bi}fkx sfi|k |id mokm e} aoqk
skkn| ia eck/
E yi{dc sibed sfi gi|} ed odaed} |id |zink aix bedy sibkd sfkd |fk kvzxk||km fkx ax{|}xe}oid0
Egg ia {| exk mkegodc so}f }fk o||{k ia }fk dkv} zxkcdedly$ Sfe} fezzkdkm od by himy }fe} momd}
ci xocf}9 O ci heln' mk}eog hy mk}eog' }i |kk sfe} O li{gm feqk midk moaakxkd}gy$ O sed} }i hk ehgk
}i zxkmol} }fk a{}{xk$
Od emmo}oid }i kvebododc de}{xeg le{|k|' }fkxk bey hk e u{k|}oid od yi{x bodm xkcexmodc }i zi||ohogo}y ia
bkmoleg kxxix$ ]fo| u{k|}oid led hk bemk kqkd bixk edvok}y"zxim{lodc hy yi{x mil}ix| xkel}oid }i }fk
hehy| mke}f$ Oa yi{x mil}ix| xk|zid|k }i }fk gi|| o| zkxlkoqkm hy yi{ e| hkodc idk ia elndisgkmcbkd}
aeog{xk ix ihqoi{| c{og}' }fkd yi{ exk egbi|} lkx}eodgy ciodc }i hgebk }fk mil}ix$ &]fo| sogg gk||id edy
akkgodc| yi{ bey feqk ia zkx|ideg aeog{xk' sfk}fkx ix di} }fk aeog{xk o| sexxed}km$/
Kqkd sfkd yi{ feqk hkkd coqkd e ake|ohgk bkmoleg kvzgede}oid aix }fk le{|k ia yi{x hehy|
mke}f' yi{ sogg |}ogg dkkm }i e|n u{k|}oid| edm feqk }fkb ed|skxkm$ Od e |}{my lidm{l}km so}f zexkd}|
sfi fem |{aakxkm }fk mke}f ia e hehy' }fo| dkkm aix odu{oxy se| {dmkx|lixkm$ ]fox}y"aoqk aebogok| skxk
od}kxqokskm edm |kqkd}y"ai{x zkxlkd} ia }fkb {dmkx|}iim }fk le{|k| ia mke}f' e| skgg e| }fk mkcxkk }i
sfolf }fk mebk lidmo}oid li{gm hk kvzkl}km }i ill{x od }fk dkv} hehy' h{} }fk aebogok| |}ogg dkkmkm }i
u{k|}oid$ ]fky sed}km }i feqk |}e}kbkd}| xko}kxe}km edm }fky sed}km }i edegypk' od zex}ol{gex' }fk
le{|k ia mke}f e| o} se| omkd}oaokm id }fk e{}iz|y xkzix}|$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
25/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Akkgodc C{og}y
O |zkd} bid}f|' kqkd ykex|' }fodnodc o} se| }fk fi} a{mck |{dmek }fk docf} hkaixk$ O fem e fexm
}obk hxodcodc o} {z so}f by mil}ix aix akex o} si{gm hk xkeggy }x{k$ &Bi}fkx ia e |}ogghixd
me{cf}kx/
By bi}fkx"od"ges |{cck|}km o} se| }fk mok} O skd} id hkaixk O ci} zxkcded}$ &Sibed sfi
bo|lexxokm od fkx ai{x}f bid}f ia zxkcdedly/
]fk dkkm }i xkzke}kmgy xkqoks }fk loxl{b|}edlk| o| ed odkqo}ehgk i{}libk ia yi{ }xeckmy$ E| }fk
bi}fkx ia e mklke|km odaed}' yi{ bey izkdgye|n u{k|}oid| gonk }fk|k' ix yi{ bey aodm yi{x|kga|ogkd}gy'
yk} ih|k||oqkgy' xkqoksodc }fkb eceod edm eceod$
Xkqoksodc }fk zxkcdedly0
Sfe} fezzkdkm m{xodc by zxkcdedly }fe} momd} fezzkd }i zkizgk so}f fkeg}fy hehok|9 Sfe} mom Omi sxidc9
Fis bedy fi{x| mom O |gkkz kelf docf}9 Mom O |gkkz }ii b{lf ix }ii go}}gk9 \fi{gm O feqk }enkd e dezod }fk ea}kxdiid9
Fis bedy locexk}}k| mom O feqk e mey9 Fis bedy liln}eog| mom O feqk m{xodc by zxkcdedly9 Mom O x{d misd }fk |}eox| ix mom O bkxkgy segn ae|}9 \fi{gm O feqk eh|}eodkm axib |kv{eg od}kxli{x|k9 Mom O }fodn|ibk}fodc }fe} bemk }fk hehy mok9Xkqoksodc }fk hox}f0 Mom O |kgkl} }fk sxidc mil}ix9 Mom O ci }i }fk fi|zo}eg }ii ge}k od gehix9 \fi{gm O feqk xka{|km ed edk|}fk}ol9 \fi{gm O di} feqk e}}kbz}km e de}{xeg lfogmhox}f9 Momd} O }xy fexm kdi{cf9]fk u{k|}oid exk qexokm edm bedy' mkzkdmodc id yi{x odmoqom{eg loxl{b|}edlk|$ E| yi{ lid}od{k }i
xkqoks }fk zxkcdedly edm hox}f' yi{ mkaodk }fk hi{dmexok| ia sfe} yi{ zkxlkoqk e| feqodc hkkd yi{x
zkx|ideg xk|zid|ohogo}y$ _i{ xkgke|k |ibk ia }fk c{og} edm hkcod }fk gidc' |gis zxilk|| ia a{ggy
elndisgkmcodc yi{x gi||$ E| gidc e| c{og} o| }fk be`ix o||{k' }fk hehy leddi} hk xkgodu{o|fkm$ ]fk hehy
o| fkgm id}i so}f Oa idgy|$ Oa idgy O femd} x{d ix |}eykm {z }fk docf} hkaixk ix ke}kd }ii b{lf ix
lxokm }ii b{lf ix }enkd e mo{xk}oledm id edm id$
Egidc so}f }fk c{og} yi{ odagol} id yi{x|kga' o| }fk c{og} yi{ ko}fkx e||{bk ix obecodk libodc
axib i}fkx zkizgk$ Aix kvebzgk' |ibk f{|hedm| od}kd}oideggy ix odemqkx}kd}gy od|od{e}k }fk lfogm| goak
se| od }fk soak| mibeod' }fkxkhy obzgyodc |fk |fi{gm feqk zxkqkd}km }fk mke}f$ Kqkd }fk omgk xkbexn|
ia xkge}oqk| ix axokdm| led xkodaixlk kvo|}odc c{og} ix zxim{lk dks c{og}$ ]fk ae}fkx sfi |ey|' O }igm yi{
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
26/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
}i u{o} |binodc%> }fk |o|}kx sfi |kga"xocf}ki{|gy zxilgeob|' By mil}ix }igm bk di} }i mxodn e} egg m{xodc
zxkcdedly' edm O momd}> }fk dkocfhix sfi e|n|' skxkd} yi{ |}ogg ciodc }i sixnod yi{x kocf}f bid}f9
emm| }i yi{x |kga"hgebk$
C{og} o| kqkd |}xidckx oa yi{ fem' e} |ibk ziod} od yi{x zxkcdedly' di} ckd{odkgy sed}km }fk
hehy' ix oa yi{ fem zxkqoi{|gy kvzkxokdlkm ed ehix}oid$ Od }fk|k le|k|' yi{ bey qoks mke}f e| e zkx|ideg
z{do|fbkd}$
]fk Bi}fkx| gidcodc aix }fk hehy
Sfkd yi{x zxkcdedly se| aox|} od kqomkdlk' yi{x himy lfedckm xezomgy$ _i{x hxke|}| kdgexckm' yi{x
himy |}x{l}{xk lfedckm' yi{ akg} biqkbkd} edm z|ylfigicoleg xk|zid|k| hkced }i ill{x$ ]fkxk se| e
akkgodc ia m{ego}y' ia goqodc aix }si' edm |fexodc$ _i{ aed}e|opkm ehi{} yi{x xigk e| zexkd} od yi{x lfogm|
goak$ &Od xk|kexlf midk so}f zexkd}| sfi xklkoqkm zfi}icxezf| ia }fk odaed}| od {}kxi }fk xk|{g} ia
{|odc |idicxeb| aix moecdi|o| o} se| ai{dm }fe} zexkd}eg hidmodc se| xkodaixlkm hy ed obeck$/
]fk zfy|oleg gidcodc aix yi{x hehy o| |}xidc edm od|}odl}oqk$ Oa yi{ fem hkkd eggiskm }i figm yi{x
hehy zxoix }i }fk mke}f' ix kqkd e} }fk mke}f' yi{ sogg feqk e |kd|k ia yi{x |id ix me{cf}kx feqodc hkkd
hixd edm goqkm' xkcexmgk|| ia fis |fix} }fk lfogm| }obk id kex}f se|$ ]fk hehy| kvo|}kdlk se| bemk
xkeg$ Fk ix |fk se| fkgm' giqkm' edm |kzexe}km axib yi{ e| e zfy|oleg hkodc$ _i{ exk ehgk }i |ey' ]fo| o|
fis fk ix |fk giinkm$ ]fo| o| sfi by hehy xk|kbhgkm$ ]fk hehy o| di} dis obecodkm e| |ibk mebeckm
hkodc' hkle{|k }fk lfogm se| |kkd e| e xkeg zkx|id$
E| kvzgeodkm hy }fk bi}fkx ia e hehy sfi mokm e} }fxkk skkn| ia eck' dkqkx feqodc gka} }fk
od}kd|oqk lexk {do}' O fkgm }fk hehy edm }i{lfkm fkx$ O debkm }fk hehy edm fkgzkm }i mk}kxbodk }fk
nodm ia |kxqolk sk si{gm feqk aix fkx$ O sogg xkbkbhkx figmodc fkx aix e| gidc e| O goqk$ O fem fkx od by
exb|' oa kqkd aix e aks bibkd}|$
\ibk}obk| figmodc o| zxifoho}km m{k }i }fk loxl{b|}edlk| ia }fk mke}f$ Oa yi{ skxk zxkqkd}km
axib feqodc edy zfy|oleg lid}el} so}f yi{x hehy' yi{ bey' }i |ibk mkcxkk' kbi}oideggy so}fmxes axib
}fk hehy$ _i{ sogg kvzkxokdlk |ibk xkbix|k ehi{} di} feqodc hkkd ehgk }i f{c' figm' edm giqk }fk hehy'
oa kqkd aix e aks bod{}k|$ A{x}fkx' yi{x libzgk}k xkegope}oid ia }fk mke}f sogg hk bixk cxem{eg' zkxfez|
kqkd mkgeykm$
Aelodc }fk Kbz}y D{x|kxy edm yi{x i}fkx Lfogmxkd
Oa yi{x hehy se| dkqkx xkgke|km axib }fk fi|zo}eg' }fkxk sogg hk |kqkxeg mo|}{xhodc ael}ix| edm
zxilkm{xk| so}f sfolf yi{ sogg hk aixlkm }i lizk {zid xk}{xdodc fibk$
Oa yi{ feqk i}fkx yi{dc lfogmxkd e} fibk' yi{ bey feqk }i xkzke}kmgy ed|skx }fkox oddilkd}xkbexn| edm u{k|}oid|$ O }fi{cf} sk skxk ciodc }i ck} e hehy$ Sogg O feqk e hxi}fkx |ibk mey9 Mom
i{x hehy mok gonk \eggy| hehy mokm9
_i{x bogn"aoggkm hxke|}| exk di} idgy zeoda{g' }fky exk ed kqkx"zxk|kd} xkbodmkx }fe} }fk de}{xeg
ixmkx ia }fodc| legg| aix yi{ }i hk bi}fkxodc$
I}fkx e|zkl}| ia yi{x hehy| eh|kdlk sogg xku{oxk yi{x e}}kd}oid$ _i{ bey dkkm }i zeln }fk
odaed}| lgi}fk|' hgednk}|' edm yi{x |fiskx coa}|$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
27/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Aix ykex|' yi{x akkgodc| ia kbz}odk|| edm |emdk|| bey |{xaelk so}fi{} sexdodc gidc ea}kx }fk
zfy|oleg xkbodmkx| od yi{x obbkmoe}k kdqoxidbkd} feqk hkkd lexka{ggy xkbiqkm$ \kkodc i}fkx zxkcded}
sibed edm hehok| led hk kvzkxokdlkm e| e zkx|ideg e||e{g} id yi{x kbi}oid|$ Cxem{eggy' fiskqkx' }fk
|kqkxo}y ia yi{x xkel}oid| sogg gk||kd$
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
28/29
Sod}kx\zxodc sss$sod}kx|zxodc$ixc
Xkbkbhkxodc Zfogoz
]fkxk o| e }obk }i hk hixd' e }obk }i mok edm |ibk}obk|' di }obk e} egg hk}skkd$
E}
-
7/31/2019 Coping With the Death of an Infant
29/29
O xkcxk} dis }fe} }fky momd} coqk bk by lfogm }i figm' h{} geom fob hk|omk bk id }fk kmck ia }fk
hkm' sfkxk Cxkc| exb |{zzix}km fob$ O dkkmkm }i figm fob$ H{} e} }fk }obk o} momd} |kkb zi||ohgk'
sfe} so}f egg }fk soxk|' by mx{cckm akkgodc' edm }fk esk|ibk axecogo}y ia fo| |nod$
Od|}kem' sk ceqk fob fo| debk' Zfogoz' edm O |}xinkm }fk mexn xoq{gk}| ia misdy feox id fo| }ody
fkem edm akg} }fk edc{o|f ia by giqk aix fob$ Hox}f o| bibkd}i{| kdi{cf od o}|kga> }i kvzkxokdlk hox}f
edm mke}f }ick}fkx o| xkeggy hkyidm sixm|$ O se| e bi}fkx}fo| se| by |id h{} egg by akkgodc| skxk
}ii ge}k$ Hk|omk bk Cxkc se| sxkdlfkm so}f |ih|$ By }kex| si{gmd} libk }ogg ge}kx$ Ea}kx e aks bixk
bod{}k|' Cxkc lexka{ggy zolnkm Zfogoz {z' z{} fob heln id fo| li}' edm no||km fob ciim"hyk$ ]fk d{x|k|
hixk fob esey$
Dis sk fem }i aelk }fk zeod ia ciodc id$ Egg i{x fizk|' i{x kvzkl}e}oid| aix }fk a{}{xk' i{x dks
|kd|k ia goak| bkedodc fem mokm so}f Zfogoz$ &Idk ia }fk fexmk|} }fodc| o| fis go}}gk i}fkx zkizgk
{dmkx|}edm egg ia }fo|$ Dix mi }fky xkegopk fis gidc e ykex' }si' zkxfez| bixk }fk zxilk|| ia
bi{xdodc }enk|$/
]fedna{ggy' O fem }fk izkxe}oid }i xkliqkx axib edm }fk a{dkxeg }i ixcedopk$ O ndks od|}odl}oqkgy
}fe} sk b{|} feqk idk' `{|} e| O ndksO mid} ndis fis }fe} }fk d{x|k| b{|} }enk zfi}i|' }fe} sk
b{|} coqk }fk hehy }fk debk skm }fi{cf} ia edm di} |eqk o} aix edi}fkx lfogm' edm }fe} sk b{|}
lxke}k e| bedy bkbixok| e| zi||ohgk$
]fe} se| idk xke|id sfy }fk a{dkxeg se| |i obzix}ed} }i {|$ O} bexnkm Zfogoz| goak di} idgy aix
{| h{} aix i{x aebogy> o} lxke}km bkbixok| edm aixckm hidm|$ ]fkxk skxk idgy ai{x ia {| e} }fk |kxqolk'
h{} sk lg{dc }ick}fkx' |skz} {z hy }fk b{|ol' |ibk}fodc zxobeg agisodc ebidc {| gonk ed kgkl}xol
l{xxkd}$ ]fk }ody sfo}k liaaod gey e} i{x akk}' Zfogoz| debk kdcxeqkm {zid o}$ Sk |le}}kxkm agiskx| edm
}fkd gka}' akkgodc kqkxy}fodc se| e| xocf} e| o} li{gm hk od |{lf qkxy sxidc loxl{b|}edlk|$
]fk zi|}bix}kb lebk }i di mkaodo}k lidlg{|oid' }fi{cf ed odakl}oid se| |{|zkl}km e| }fk
le{|k ia mke}f$ H{} kqkd oa yi{ feqk gicoleg ed|skx|' }fky mid} emmxk|| }fk xkeg sfy|0 Sfy bk9 Sfy
dis Sfy }fo| oddilkd} hehy9
O }fodn }fk |kexlf aix ed|skx| }i }fi|k u{k|}oid| }fk |kexlf aix }fk qkxy bkedodc ia goak o| e
goak}obk| sixn$ Sk fizk }i feqk bixk lfogmxkd edm sk hkgokqk sk sogg h{} di}fodc edm dihimy led
kqkx xkzgelk Zfogoz$