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Business Writing

September 2021

Dan Strohl

dansstrohl@yahoo.com

Course Agenda

Morning:• Purpose• Audience • Organization• Principles of Plain Language

Afternoon:• Common Business Writing Genres• Correctness• Design and Delivery• Putting it to the Test

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Ice-Breaker: Who Are We as Writers?

Group brainstorming:• What are your writing strengths?

• What do you want to improve?

Purpose: Our Reason for WritingBusiness writing is goal-oriented. It is meant to…• inform (policies, procedures, results)• get something done (projects, problem-solving)• persuade (proposals, negotiations)

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Audience: Our ReadersKnow your audience. What do you know about their…• level of knowledge?• professional experience?• job responsibilities?• personal characteristics?• preferences and attitudes?• cultural norms and values?

Levels of Audience

Do they need to make decisions or take action?Then they are your PRIMARY READERS.

Do they need to stay aware of developments or advise decision makers?

Then they are your SECONDARY READERS.

Do they have some reason to be interested in the subject even if they are not directly involved in it?

Then they are your TERTIARY READERS.

Do they need to approve your documents before they are published/sent/released?

Then they are your GATEKEEPERS.

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Reaching Your Audience: Mode, Skill Level, and ScopeConsider how readers will be using your text or document:• By what mode will they access the information (email,

memo, letter)?

• How skilled are they as readers (laypeople, managers, technical experts)?

• How much will they need to know (summary, fine details)?

Your Audience: Building Trust

Writers must construct an effective and professional persona, drawing on a variety of qualities:• Cooperativeness—working toward a common goal

• Transparency—disclosing what is relevant

• Credibility—establishing that you are reliable

• Ethics—assuring your integrity

• Respectfulness—acknowledging the audience’s worth

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Your Audience: The Language of RespectConsider the needs of ALL readers and strive for respect:• Cultural sensitivity

• Accessibility

• Gender neutrality

UN Gender-inclusive language

Your Audience: Setting the Right ToneOur writing sets a tone that can create an emotional response in readers. Framing communication in positive terms (even when you have to deliver bad news) builds trust and can prevent a negative response.

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The Four Tones“Captain”—direct, ultra-concise, to the point• verbs, bullet points

“Cheerleader”—spirited, enthusiastic, animated• adjectives, adverbs, “you”

“Harmonizer”—considerate, caring, team-oriented• adjectives, adverbs, “we”

“Analyst”—factual, detailed, unemotional• Nouns, data, “it”

Exercise: Creating the Right Tone

Revise the following two examples by improving the tone:

1. Accept the contract by Thursday at midnight. If not, we will be too busy to process your order and it may not be completed.

2. We are so terribly sorry that we sent you the wrong form. Please accept our humble apologies for this unfortunate error. Be assured that we will strive to improve our service in the future.

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Organization: ApproachesSelect the organizational approach that connects to your purpose:• Chronological (explaining the sequence of events or providing

instructions for tasks)• Spatial (maps, organization charts, diagrams)• General to specific (dealing with complex situations and their

connection to specific instances)• Order of importance (presenting a set of factors, discrepancies,

or findings)• Comparison/contrast (presenting similarities and differences)• Classification (categorizing)• Problem/solution (dealing with situations that need correction)• Cause and effect (explaining the reasons for a change or new

approach)

Organization: Outlining

Outlining is a key to effective organization. The outline serves as a “road map” that:• ensures logic• prevents errors of omission • saves time

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Exercise: Create an outline for the topic “Summer Jobs for H.S. Students”Camp counselor Want ads

Make new friends Cashier

The Internet Learn responsibility

Earn references Delivery service

Wait on tables Learn to adjust

Earn spending money School job referral

Employment agencies Construction

Data entry Learn to follow directions

Organization: Paragraphs

Each paragraph is a chunk of information that helps build toward the goal. Make sure each one has…

• a topic sentence• sufficient, relevant, and reliable supporting

information• transitional words and phrases• the main point in the right place.

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Principles of Plain Language• Keep sentence length relatively short

• Transition smoothly

• Avoid weak opening statements

• Delete redundancies

• Select simpler words

• Ensure parallel structure

• Use active and passive voice correctly

• Surface “submerged” verbs

Sentence Length

Keep sentences short—10 to 20 words on average.

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Exercise: Sentence Length

Special actions have been necessitated to reduce the adverse impact on our military and space requirements, postal operations, and public necessity, and in order to cooperate in these essential objectives, it is requested that you instruct your employees to defer any travel by air that is not a matter of immediate necessity until such time as full operation of air travel is restored.

Wordiness Editing

Example 1Under 25 CFR §1.4(b), the Secretary of the Interior may in specific cases or in specific geographic areas, adopt or make applicable to off-reservation Indian lands all or any part of such laws, ordinances, codes, resolutions, rules or other regulations of the State and political subdivisions in which the land is located as the Secretary shall determine to be in the best interest of the Indian owner or owners in achieving the highest and best use of such property.

Example 1: Revised

https://www.plainlanguage.gov/examples/before-and-after/wordiness/

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Wordiness Editing

Example 2

The application must be completed by the applicant and received by the financial office by June 1st.

Example 2: Revised

https://www.plainlanguage.gov/examples/before-and-after/application-due-date/

Transition SmoothlySelect transitional words and phrases that say what you mean.

What you mean Transitions

Contrast however, although, but, conversely,

Comparison similarly, likewise, in the same way

Cause and effect as a result, therefore, because

Example for instance, for example

Addition also, moreover, besides, and

Time now, later, after, before, then

Sequence first, second, third, next, last

Place further on, above, below, nearly

Repetition in other words, that is to say

Summation all in all, in conclusion, in summary

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Exercise: Transitions

So far, the experiments have been unsuccessful. Not all variables were considered.

Exercise: TransitionsThe tenants of the new office building have complained regularly. The current elevator bank is insufficient. People wait for 20 minutes on the ground floor. One solution would be to enlarge the shafts. This may involve removing the rear stairs. Sufficient funds may not be available at the present time.

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Avoid Weak Opening Statements

It would appear to be the case…

Please give consideration to…

It is generally…

Please allow me to explain…

Delete Redundanciesin the vast majority of cases

on a weekly basis

until such time as

due to the fact that

very necessary

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Select Simpler Wordsascertain

elucidate

periphery

perceive

efficacy

Select Simpler Wordssubsequently

consequently

appraise

apprise

utilize

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Clarity vs. Jargon/LegaleseConsider word choice carefully.

• Appropriate level of formality• Clarity and specificity • Simplicity• Limited use of jargon

Avoid wordy phrases (at the present time, due to the fact that, in order to, take into consideration, etc.)

Drop "fancy" words (endeavor, obfuscate, ameliorate, etc.)

plainlanguage.gov: Jury Instructions

Ensure Parallel Structure

Parallel means consistency in sentence structure, verb forms, formality, and level of detail.

The duties of this position include the following: purchasing materials, operation of equipment, and maintenance of inventory records.

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Exercise: Parallel Structure

The headquarters staff will arrive Monday for a reviewof the logs, analyzing the data, and the start of their report.

Regional offices are located in Atlanta, Denver, and California.

Exercise: Parallel StructureMeeting Agenda

Take attendance

Introduction of the speaker

Distributing handouts

Refreshments

Meeting Agenda

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Use Active and Passive Voice CorrectlyIf the subject of the sentence is the actor, the sentence is in the active voice.

If the subject of the sentence is being acted upon, the sentence is in the passive voice.

Why prefer the active voice?

It’s shorter.

It identifies the actor up front.

It sounds more direct and less bureaucratic.

UW-Madison WC: Use the Active Voice

Exercise: Active vs. Passive VoiceThe book was placed on the table by the student.

This class was attended by 16 participants.

The system to identify fraud cases was developed by Gwinnett County.

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Exercise: Active vs. Passive VoiceMistakes were made.

One thousand laboratory rats were tested for presence of the virus.

Surface “Submerged” VerbsMade a decision

Held a meeting

Came to a conclusion

Made a recommendation

Made an examination of

Made a resolution

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Exercise: Submerged VerbsVerification of the identity of applicants was made by the district offices.

Make a careful review of all records.

Please give us a summary of the meeting.

Genre: EmailEmail is the most common method of communication in professional environments today. Email is best used in certain circumstances and for certain tasks.

Important guidelines:• Create a meaningful subject line.• Greet the reader appropriately.• Place the main point in the right place.• Ensure the use of standard grammar, spelling, and

punctuation. • Limit the email to one screen.• Sign off appropriately.

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Email: Formulas for “Good News” and “Bad News”Good News:

The “Good News”

Background

Next Steps

Bad News

Neutral opening

Explanation

The “Bad News”

Next Steps

Exercise: Write a “Good News” EmailGood News

Background

Next Steps

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Exercise: Write a “Bad News” EmailNeutral opening

Explanation

Bad news

Next Steps

Genre: MemoMemos bring attention to problems and help solve them. That can be a simple problem (e.g., what’s the status of that project?) or a complex one (e.g., how do we begin to address this big issue that has arisen)?

Characteristics:• Carefully organized into specific segments

• Relatively short (1-2 pages)

• Normally limited to a specific internal audience

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Memo: Formula for Persuasion

Attention-grabber

Interest-builder

Clincher

Next steps

Exercise: Write a Persuasive MemoAttention-grabber

Interest-builder

Clincher

Next steps

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Subject-verb agreement

Subject/possessive pronoun agreement

Nominative versus objective case

“That” versus “which”

Modifiers

Punctuation

Syntax

Correctness: a Grammar Refresher

Subject-verb AgreementEither the President or the members of Congress (are/is) going to address the issue.

Either the members of Congress or the President (are/is) going to address the issue.

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Subject/Possessive Pronoun Agreement

A good leader will accommodate their style to maximize the strengths of others.

Everyone should bring their manual to class.

Nominative vs. Objective Case

Nominative: the “doers”

I, we, you, he, she, they

Objective: the “receivers”

me, us, you, him, her, them

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Nominative vs. Objective Case

Please give the report to Allen and (I/me) by COB Thursday.

We and (them/they) responded timely to the inquiry.

“That” vs. “Which”Use “that” in a restrictive clause.

e.g., Diamonds that are expensive often elicit forgiveness.

Use “which” in a non-restrictive clause.

e.g., Diamonds, which are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.

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Coming around the bend, the Statue of Liberty looked magnificent.

Dangling Modifiers

51

Relaxing on the beach, the couple enjoyed watching the seagulls as they drank their morning coffee.

Misplaced Modifiers

52

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As John interviewed the unit supervisor, he appeared nervous.

Squinting Modifiers

53

Punctuation Review

. = Stop.

, = Pause.

; = Pause, but more is on the way.

: = Stop! A series or answer follows.

! = Stop! (And I really mean it!)

? = End an interrogative sentence.

‘ = Contract words and indicate possession.

“ = Enclose direct quotations.

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Syntax (sentence structure)Run-ons, fragments, comma splices• Run-ons: The result of joining two independent clauses

with no punctuation or connecting word between them.

• Fragment: Phrases or groups of words that lack a subject, a verb, or both. When phrases are punctuated like a sentence, they become fragments.

• Comma splice: A comma splice occurs when a writer links two independent clauses with only a comma.

Exercise: Syntax ErrorsJoe was happy about the raise he felt like celebrating.

Although Mary has been a good employee.

The program was interesting, it made me realize the importance of good health.

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Design and DeliveryHelp readers use the document/text by considering structure and document design:• Titles, subtitles, and headings provide information about

how to read a document

• Use different level headings for formatting

• Avoid long strings of nouns

• Make titles/heading informative

• Use appropriate grammatical forms (e.g., question structure vs. gerund structure)

HATS DesignHeadings• Use headings to help guide readers through documents. Make sure there

are plenty of headings and use styling (size, alignment, font) to show levels of importance.

Access• Readers should be able to find information in a document easily. Use

bulleted or numbered lists and graphics like charts, tables, images when you can.

Typography• Typeface can affect a document’s usability and effect. No more than two

fonts per document! Left justify text except for headings.

Space• Don’t crowd the page! Allow for sufficient white space around chunks of

text and around visuals.

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Other Design Considerations

Contrast• Size, color typeface (minimum: 2!)

Alignment• Center align headings, left justify text

Repetition• Consistent visual elements, standardize look

Proximity• Group elements/points by relation – keep things that go

together together!

Document Design: ExampleGoogle Privacy Policy PDF

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Putting It to the Test

Resources

Federal Plain Language Guidelines• https://www.plainlanguage.gov/media/FederalPLGuideli

nes.pdf

Purdue OWL (Online Writing Lab)• https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html

WAC Clearinghouse: Business Writing: An Introduction• https://wac.colostate.edu/resources/writing/guides/busi

nesswriting/

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