Creating Healthy Creating Healthy Boundaries at Work…. Boundaries at Work….

And Beyond!And Beyond!

Presented by the MCPS EAPPresented by the MCPS EAP240-314-1040240-314-1040

Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives

To increase your understanding of boundaries To increase your understanding of boundaries and limit setting and limit setting

To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries and setting limits in working with parents and setting limits in working with parents

To learn best practices for effectively setting and To learn best practices for effectively setting and maintaining boundaries in working with parentsmaintaining boundaries in working with parents

MCPS MCPS Employee Assistance ProgramEmployee Assistance Program

Short term counseling , assessment and Short term counseling , assessment and referralreferral

CostCost EligibilityEligibility Problem typesProblem types Referrals (self, supervisor and other)Referrals (self, supervisor and other) Confidentiality/recordsConfidentiality/records Other services: workshops, crisis response, Other services: workshops, crisis response,

newsletter, access point to mediationnewsletter, access point to mediation Times/locationTimes/location

ExerciseExercise

Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about the Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about the WORST behavior from a parent they WORST behavior from a parent they ever experiencedever experienced

What are Personal Boundaries?What are Personal Boundaries?

Personal boundaries are guidelines, Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave ways for other people to behave around them and how they will around them and how they will respond when someone steps respond when someone steps outside those limits.outside those limits.

BoundariesBoundaries

PhysicalPhysical – choosing how close you – choosing how close you allow people to come to you allow people to come to you

EmotionalEmotional – maintaining emotional – maintaining emotional distance; setting limits on how you distance; setting limits on how you want to be treated by others;want to be treated by others;

EthicalEthical – determined by your – determined by your professional and/or personal code of professional and/or personal code of ethicsethics

Boundaries can be…Boundaries can be…

FlexibleFlexible • too flexible and it is easy to feel too flexible and it is easy to feel

overwhelmed;overwhelmed;• makes it difficult to set priorities and follow makes it difficult to set priorities and follow

themthem

Rigid Rigid • too rigid and cultural differences are ignoredtoo rigid and cultural differences are ignored• decisions are not based on the context of decisions are not based on the context of

the relationshipthe relationship

Code of Ethics for Teachers from the Association Code of Ethics for Teachers from the Association

of American Educatorsof American Educators PRINCIPLE IV: Ethical Conduct toward Parents and CommunityPRINCIPLE IV: Ethical Conduct toward Parents and Community

The professional educator pledges to protect public sovereignty The professional educator pledges to protect public sovereignty over public education and private control of private education.over public education and private control of private education.

The professional educator recognizes that quality education is the The professional educator recognizes that quality education is the common goal of the public, boards of education, and educators, common goal of the public, boards of education, and educators, and that a cooperative effort is essential among these groups to and that a cooperative effort is essential among these groups to attain that goal.attain that goal.

1. The professional educator makes concerted efforts to 1. The professional educator makes concerted efforts to communicate to parents all information that should be revealed in communicate to parents all information that should be revealed in the interest of the student.the interest of the student.

2. The professional educator endeavors to understand and respect 2. The professional educator endeavors to understand and respect the values and traditions of the diverse cultures represented in the the values and traditions of the diverse cultures represented in the community and in his or her classroom.community and in his or her classroom.

3. The professional educator manifests a positive and active role 3. The professional educator manifests a positive and active role in school/community relations.in school/community relations.

What Makes it What Makes it Challenging to Maintain Challenging to Maintain

Boundaries and Set Boundaries and Set Limits?Limits?

ControlControl versus versus No ControlNo Control

Group Exercise

Brainstorm boundaries and setting Brainstorm boundaries and setting limits:limits:• For each example, discuss what limits For each example, discuss what limits

you would setyou would setFF

ExamplesExamples A parent shows up unannounced and demands a A parent shows up unannounced and demands a

meetingmeeting A parent becomes aggressive, takes charge of a A parent becomes aggressive, takes charge of a

meeting and is unwilling to end a conferencemeeting and is unwilling to end a conference A parent refuses a recommendation for A parent refuses a recommendation for

instruction or a consequence of behavior (that is instruction or a consequence of behavior (that is data driven) i.e. math placement, reading group, data driven) i.e. math placement, reading group, loss of recess, etc.loss of recess, etc.

A meeting gets off track and the parent starts A meeting gets off track and the parent starts badmouthing another staff memberbadmouthing another staff member

Bonus: How do you respond to a rude or bullying Bonus: How do you respond to a rude or bullying e-mail?e-mail?

How do you set and maintain How do you set and maintain boundaries?boundaries?

Know your limits/boundaries – lines Know your limits/boundaries – lines you will not cross and won’t let you will not cross and won’t let others crossothers cross

Know Know what is youwhat is you and and what is mewhat is me Recognize/understand your role Recognize/understand your role Use positive communication skillsUse positive communication skills Build resiliencyBuild resiliency Focus on what you have control overFocus on what you have control over

Thanks for coming!Thanks for coming! For more information about the EAP, For more information about the EAP,

contact us at contact us at 240-314-1040240-314-1040

or visit our website at: or visit our website at: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/eap/http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/eap/