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Daily Kick

It’s a Journos Life for MeBy Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooij

You may have noticed some shady looking characters lurking in the corners of your committee work session and around teambuilding and in room C316 with bottles of all kinds of everything, but who really are these so-called journos? Well, these not only are the football team capable of beating the chair’s 3:2, but infact, this session revolves around us…and here’s why;- We are the media therefore we control the way you all think, so watch out for secret messages such as “Bring us food! or Give me a massage” and what not,- We are the middle (wo)man between the chairs and delis and as such have access to ALL the gossip of the session…if only you all knew!!!- While you all may think we party all night till 6am playing drinking games such as Never (lie!) have I ever, well, this is true, but it is done in the name of research and the evidence of this may be seen on the quotes page,- We are the most creative of all those at the session constantly creating new things such as cocktails like Diarrhoea Surprise, On The Rocks, Sunrise, On The Beach, and for the non-alcoholic drinkers we also have Virgin Diarrhoea,- We have unique characteristics such as extreme tickle-ish-ness, French-ness, kissing powers and ability to stay awa-ke…most of the time, without any sleep!- We possess an ability to look at everything from a second, more promiscuous angle,- We have double identities with our football names for the press, but the true journo comes out at 4 am in our messy dorm rooms, which are fi lled with French cheese, Russian vodka and Latvian chocolate,- We have more secrets than you’ll ever know…well, we hope you’ll never fi nd out!

Quotes:

Drunk Delegate: “Let me shave, before you gogo!”Anne (Delegate, GER): “I lost the guy that has my skirt in his room.”Journo team: “I’m not hot at all!”; “Ich habe keine Beine.”; “Oh god, my apples fell out.”Random Delegate: „The Portugese guy looks like the gardener from Desperate Housewife.

Editorial:by Petr Cech

So the last issue is out, I‘m very hap-py and fi nally enjoying some free time and looking forward to my bed at home with more than 2 hours of sleep a day. I hope that you‘ve en-joyed the session as much as I have and that you will bring home lot‘s of nice memories and few issues of our newspaper and maybe when you look inside in 10 years, you will remember everything you‘ve done here. Bye and thank you very much for having such a nice session.

KICKED

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Deutschland ist super, ja!by Diego Maradonna

Ole, ole, super Deutschland, super Deutschland!! You may well have noticed that yesterday’s ¼ fi nal bet-ween Germany and Argentina came to an end with the unexpected victory of super Deutschland meaning the door has been opened for them to play in the semi-fi nal. Such were the emo-tions after the game that seemingly all of Muenster’s student population, families on bikes and some jolly old aged pensioners joined the grand pa-rade culminating at the so called ‘’rab-bit roundabout’’. EYPers were quick to join in with the fun and it didn’t take long for us to learn the lyrics of some German football anthems. We also learnt a few chants that involved knealing on the ground and suddenly jumping up, screaming and hopping to the rythm of surrounding fan trum-pets, drums and breaking beer bottles. Some of us were lucky enough to see a stark naked footie fanatic fl y past on his bike, we also saw crazy locals climbing on anything and everything higher than the ground, waving mas-

sive German fl ags and shouting ‘’Ohne Holland fahren wir nach Berlin!’’ even though the game was played with Ar-gentina... It goes without saying that the atmosphere was brilliant and that Germans sure know how to have a good time. Later on when we passed by the roundabout on one of our late night walks, we had the chance

to experience the aftermath of the event – mountains of broken bottles, people lying on patches of grass and a whole bunch of drunken students standing on the roof of a nearby resi-dence. A beautiful sight to see... But it was worth it for the unique atmos-phere!

PLACE YOUR

ADVERTISMENT

HERE.

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Je fais ce que je veux by Thierry Henry

Yesterday was some famous frog star’s birthday. Sexy blond haired Johanna was strongly determined to celebrate it properly , she told ever-ybody about her PEB needs( Party Eroticism & Beer, or ask the French for the genuine meaning) and even spread the information by writing on her tummy It’s my party and I’ll do what I wanna ! That sounds explicit enough. I’m pretty sure that you saw the jumping frog celebrating her birth-day last night. She fi rst got her French ID taken by the Thierry for the reason that she brought intolerable shame to the wholeness of the French nation by getting drunk with gross cheap Bor-deaux wine. Then she decided to have something strong and Russian but since she could not fi nd any suitable Russian guy around she had ¾ of a bottle of Vodka. The frog got the par-ty started and Vodka obviously helped her jump higher in order to get onto a chair and dance fanatically on the worldwide famous song from Moulin Rouge Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? After shaking her body alone on her chair for a moment, she felt

like switching from Russian fever to Portuguese heat, therefore she grab-bed some Portuguese guy and let him know that a drunk frog could be real-ly fun and tempting. The story does not tell about how it all ended, but we can say that Froggy Jo celebrated her birthday properly.

It’s a bunny worldby Diego Maradonna

It’s hard to miss the hoards of bunnies jumping around in the sunny parks of Muenster, they’re extraordinarily cute and fl uffy and have received many compliments from EY-Pers too. We even managed to interview a little grey one who came to visit us just outside our hostel window!

So why Muenster?

The answer is obvious and you all know it... Muenster is the healthiest city in the world! Here we’re allowed to frol-lock freely in the various parks and gardens of the inner city and are admired by locals and tourists alike.

Don’t people get tempted to poke you or even worse - eat you?

There are always some stupid kids who like to pretend they’re playing hide&seek with us but we tend to ignore them. The most annoying people are the *** tourists who take endless photos of us, sometimes at the most ungod-ly hours! Noone has attempted to eat me, I don’t know about others, we don’t talk about things like that.

Do you ever get scared?

No, not really, we have many cozy burrows to hide in if so-meone starts terrorising us. We have a lovely life, we do.

So is there anything terrible about living in the city?

No, nothing’s worse than the tourists. Otherwise we’re al-ways well off food-wise as dustbins work as a fantastic source for different nibbles and the parks provide a safe haven for us and our children to play in.

Thank you!

Translation of the meaning of these words is for Journos team very easy. „Wir brauchen Kaffee“

MYSTERYBy Ruud Van Nistelrooij

In the pressroom, on the camera of one of your beloved journos, this pic-ture has been found. Although we’re not sure who the owner of this joy-fi lled box is, we could see that it was already used. We found out that one of the delegates has been in the pre-sence of quite some different girls. So we have a main suspect.. From some reliable sources we found out that the person in question has been seen at the gas station with an unidentifi ed german- talking female. If you have more information or if you recognise these hands, contact your local jour-no!

OR-GA-NI-SA-TIONby Thierry Henry, messy journo im-pressed by well-organised committee

Once upon a time, I opened a door, got into this wide room with tropical plants in every corner and sea-blue seats, and there I found my beloved committee. Some of the delegates were sitting around the table refl ec-ting and brainstorming, some were standing and handling pinkish papers with various sentences, key words and ideas written on it. Maxim, their lovely chair from Germany was silent-ly watching them organise themsel-ves, just leading them a bit when they needed it. They looked perfectly or-ganised and were really happy about their work. Kristin from Germany said that she was really satisfi ed so far, feeling that everybody’s ideas were expressed, that the group worked extremely well together, and she con-fi rmed that teambuilding games had been effective to help them feel like a team and work in an effi cient way. “We played fruit game before starting, that helped us relax and get ready to start working” said Kristin, giving me a very cute smile. I actually felt so as-hamed about my messy way of orga-nising my own work, writing random quotes and gossip on some dirty torn paper and losing it twice before I can start typing it for real (if I ever mana-ge to read what I wrote).

Civil Rights 2by Roy Keane

Well, after a day of extended coffee breaks and debating football politics yesterday, this committee got to work today discussing the big brother so-ciety, almighty databases, no-go zo-nes and neo-nazis! As per usual, no-tes were taken, topics discussed and arguments were faught whilst sitting around in a big circle. I, being Irish, was happy to see that there were so many jokes and word puns being thrown around; when Sabrina asked what is to be done about the 11milli-on Europeans whose fi nger prints on their biometric passports are uniden-tifyable, Daan suggested buring them all! When Nicki stated that terrorists will have big problems if they change their teeth, Catarina retorted that they already have big problems: they’re terrorists! And Sabrina added to the conversation when she observed that getting 1 or 2 punches is bad, but getting beaten to shit is worse! Well spotted! However, these guys have a very relaxed approach to their task and Gerrit highlighted this on a few accasions by expressing his wishes for everyone to relax a little (and take it easy in the airport) and agreeing with Sabrina when she suggested avoiding topics that they don’t have a solution to! Thats the spirit of problem solving! But weļl see how the fruits of their work blossom at GA tomorrow and Sunday. In the mean time, if anyone knows what RFID technology stands for, let this committee know!

Energy Transferby Bastian Schweinsteiger

SO, COmmittee on Environment, what to say about these guys? An Com-mittee with total distinctions. Their humpty-dumpty Chair Sebastian from Germany is a really crazy guy, who always expresses a feeling of hyper-activity, jumps the whole time around and always infuses his committee with tons of information. On the other hand, the Delegates on their own are more the quiet thinkers. The discus-sions seem to be done telepathically, but at least quiet effi cent. The resolu-tion is an immense piece of work. At least this seems to be something that the greenkeepers of the future know on their own. And they know how to celebrate this, at least they do. When I came to this committee on Friday, at least two people where obvious in-jured. One girl was bandgaed on her foot and another one had a really gra-velly voice that seemed to be issued from last nights party.

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Impossiblism and Socia-lismby Bastian Schweinsteiger

First of all, I have to correct myself. In the penultimate issue about teambuil-ding I reported that the Committee on Social Affairs consists of 2 boys and 9 girls. That is wrong! The amount of womanhood is not that huge, as the 2 boys just have to collaborate with

8 girls. Does this substract the domi-nance of the feamle gender? No. As I predicted in the former issue, the girls rock the room. They dominate the

discussions that deal with topics like immigration and social discrimination. This explains also the sometimes not so serious, but typical female propo-sals, like to claim free chocolate for women to encourage them to join the military. But in general, everybody on this committee is a fi ghter, to make the world a better place and to give chances to everybody, what is already shown in the committee work, as the stake in participating is already quite equal spread. The only person whom they are not social to is their I-try-to-be-nice-journo, as I had to perform a song, just after I joined their work after the coffee break. *Arrgghh* Anyway, the really self-confi dent com-mittee („He, of course we are very special persons“). So, at the end I can say, the Committee on Social Affairs is just as their chairs name says: LOT = Lovely+Open-Minded+Thankful.

Bits of comittee work from Foreign Affairs, Civil I, Family and Future

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Kick- it General Assemblyby Gianlucca Buffon

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun is shining, it’s hot like in India and Germany is into the semi-fi nals. But instead of sunbathing, sleeping or enjoying a nice cup of coffee in one of the dozens of cafes in the wonder-ful city of Münster, a group of young, beautiful delegates is going to spend a day inside, talking politics. Yes, the General Assembly of the fi rst ever Kick-It-Like-EYP session is going to start. The venue place, the Stadt-weinhaus, is absolutely magnifi cent, like almost everything else in Müns-ter, and soon enough, the assembly room is fi lled with speeches, points of information, points of privilege and quality debating. From Mohammed’s characters to EU relations with Iran and Russia, the delegates are presen-ting what they have achieved in their committees the past few days. And it is absolutely amazing to see how much you know, how interested you are and how you present your work. This is what EYP is about: widening ones knowledge and having fun doing it with newly found friends. So don’t forget: work hard but enjoy it! And just KICK-IT!!!

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Deli car theftby Bastian Schweinsteiger

During the barbecue on Thursday one of the editors and one of the journos decided to leave the place early to do some work. Against the will of the editor, the journo decided to encourage some delegates to come with them back to the accomodation place, because he is a nice one. So, after a couple of minutes, at least a group of twenty people walked right back in tht dark. Quiet more people than th two guys had expected. The work took a long time and everybody had fun, until the point when some German delegates inside this group started to show disrespect. The German GOA dele-gation started to become mean to the journo because they thought that nobody can show them anything like direction and authority. As the group arrived at the residence, the GOA delegation decided to move to the petrol station to get some more drinks, what we as persons of responsibility could not allow - at least not as long we don‘t go with them ;) so eight people walked to the next petrol station right near the Gleis 22 (probably everybody already knows it). On the way we passed a crossroad and the journo recognized the car of the German chair Maxim standing there. As the journo is a nice one, he proposed to go over and to see if everything is alright, as the car was standing there with fl ashing indicators and nobody inside, but the group decided to be completly mean to the jounro and to ignore him completely. Even the editor did not listen to the journo. SO, the walk went further and fi nally we reached the petrol station where a lot of strange persons were staying and trying to provoke stress with our felow delegates. But everything went fi ne and fi nally we walked back to the residence, refreshed with some beer, coffee and some chewing gum. Being back at the crossroad were the nice journo had seen Maxims car before, he recognzied the car again and this time he told all the other people again about and this time they listened to him, because this time a police car was standing there as well. The group crossed the street and the magnifi cent journo put all his courage together and talked to the policemen standing there. The fact was, that the car was left and this place with nobody inside, no key and opened doors. The police wanted to tow the car off but we tried to calm them down and the nice journo tried to call Maxim. But we did not reach him and so we phoned thousand of other people but nobody knew where Maxim was. While this time (approx. 30 mins) we sad down and drank our stuff from the petrol station. And as usual for Delegates from the GOA school in Hamburg they don‘t have a high limit for alcohol, so the fi rst of them fall asleep soon. But what did the sedulous journo? Of course, he called Maxim, and fi nally we reached him. As I woke him up by this call he was not really believing me, but as he heared the sirens of the police car he just switched off and came over. But the towing service car has already arrived and they wanted to do their job. But fi nally Maxim reached the place and he was really p****** off but he tried to solve this situation calm and halcyon. Of course the situation was strange for the police as they found a car right in the city with nobody in and with no key, which Maxim had lost in the residence, and than having 8 people around, just drinking and taking tons of pictures. Finally, to safe the car from further damage, the police towed it away and brought Maxim back to the residence. Later he told that we 8 are suspected as well, that we had stolen the car to drive to the petrol station - this is so damn dumb! So, till yet nobody got arrested...we‘ll see how the sessions ends for us!

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Maybe you always wondered what‘s all about being jour-no? Now you can try! Write your own article !

Petr Cech & Birgit Prinz

Gianlucca Buffon

Bastian Schweinsteiger

Thierry HenryDiego Maradonna

Roy Keane

Andrej Schevchenko

Ruud Van Nistelrooy

The Press-Room aka Arsekickers United

We thank to all of you delegates, for having this wonderful session, full of fun, laughter, good mood and even bit of seriousness, it was great to be here and we hope to see you again somewhere else. :-)