DIALOGUE

DIALOGUE

What does ‘Dialogue’ mean to you?

WHAT DOES DIALOGUE MEAN TO YOU?

A – General Discussion

B – Random thoughts

C – Focused problem solving

D – Diverse team discussion

E – Open communication on specific topic

PROPOSED DEFINITION

Dialogue – People engaging in participatory thought

SOME DESCRIPTORSNon-judgmental

Non-defensive

Listening

Understanding

No agendas

Intent of best answer

Ideas without connection to those ideas

Flow

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Growing You

Self-AwarenessSelf-Management

Serving Others

Relationship AwarenessRelationship Management

THE GOAL IS TO BE PRESENT

For all members to be openly participate we need to be:

• Self-aware• Relationship-aware

We must be Present

• Non-Judgmental OPEN• Only one conversation HEAR• Understand CONNECT

BE OPEN

Two Potential Issues

• The past shades the present (judging current statements based on history)

• Personal connection to ‘my’ idea

BE OPEN

How can past experiences shade current realities?

• A – Does not allow for people to change• B – Limits our view of what is really happening• C – Reduces our ability to hear what is really being said• D – Discounts things different that our past experiences• E – Reduces trust

Are you always aware of such shading?

LADDER OF INFERENCE

Action

Beliefs

Conclusions

Assumptions

Affix Meaning

Data/Experience

BE OPEN

Action

Beliefs

Conclusions

Assumptions

Affix Meaning

Data/Experience

As we walk up the ladder, where canwe make mistakes?

How can avoid each of these mistakes?

LADDER OF INFERENCE

We certainly need to add meaning, however we can improve communications in three ways…

• Awareness of thinking/reasoning (reflection)• Visibility of thinking/reasoning (advocacy)• Inquiring into other’s thinking/reasoning (inquiry)

LADDER OF INFERENCE

Questions that can help…

• What is the observable data?• Does everyone agree on that data?• Can you run me through your reasoning?• How did you get from the data to these assumptions?• When you said “[your inference]”, did you mean “[my

interpretation]”?

LADDER OF INFERENCE

How we view the world and how we act influence…

• What we select to “see”• Our interpretations• Our conclusions

This leads us to act in ways that produce results which usually reinforce the conclusions we made.

BE OPEN

Two Potential Issues

• The past shades the present• Personal connection to ‘my’ idea

LET’S START WITH YOU

The goal is for you to be ‘Present’

Present –

• Non-Judgmental OPEN• Only one conversation HEAR• Understand CONNECT

HEAR

When speaking with someone, how many conversations are going on?

A – one

B – two

C – three

D – More than three

HEAR

Getting it to ONE

• First, stop other subjects• If you can’t, reschedule the new subject

• Stay focused• Catch internal diversions• Bring yourself back

• Relevant thoughts are good• This is where we will connect next…

LET’S START WITH YOU

The goal is for you to be ‘Present’

Present –

• Non-Judgmental OPEN• Only one conversation HEAR• Understand CONNECT

CONNECT

We must always search for understanding.

Thoughts are connected when we understand.

Lessons only exist in difference.

Curiosity rather than Certainty

CONNECT

Tactics:

• Repeat their thought to confirm listening and understanding – “If I understand you correctly…”

• Write down relevant thoughts and questions about their thoughts

• Pause the discussion for clarity or to add a thought

LET’S START WITH YOU

The goal is for you to be ‘Present’

Present –

• Non-Judgmental OPEN• Only one conversation HEAR• Understand CONNECT

SUMMARY - BEING PRESENT TO ACHIEVE DIALOGUE

We have covered a lot of ground …

• Be Open• Don’t carry history to the present

• Hear• Only one conversation

• Connect• Combine thoughts

THANK YOU

Your leadership and teamwork can achieve superhuman results.