This newsletter is brought to you by

the dedicated counselors of Section B+

CSZ

CZG

No words can

d e s c r i b e t h e

awesomeness that

went on in camp this

past week. But we’ll

write it in a few short

words, hopefully it

will remind you of

what took place.

Shabbos was once

again filled with

Chayus, as we

collected tickets for

Sunday’s carnival.

And ended off with a

Shmoyonke about

Sunday.

Sunday was visiting

day (Aha!) and

carnival day with

mini golf, water

fights, races, games,

and much more!

We watched Halber

Gebaken and found

out who is stealing

the baby.

Monday seemed like

a regular day, except

the fact that people

were stealing… and

being sent to the

director… BOG WAR!

We were split

into 3 teams:

B e f i c h a ,

Bilvovcha and

Laasoso.

The competition

was fierce from

the start, with each

team singing their

cheers, and learning

MBP.

Tuesday we were

treated to some

scavengers, featuring

S n a g s , Y o e l i s ,

Midgets, and more!

That night we

watched the first

p l a y . M a f i a ,

kidnappings, but in

the end it all turned

out well. (Thanks to

the umbrella man!)

The next day we had

2 more scavengers

(with the umbrella

man).

Each team made a

heart wrenching

song, filled with

emotion and overall

beautifulness.

The second play a

learning teacher

spoke about Sheidim,

Rambam, Chanukah

and Purim.

The third play was a

very emotional story

about the holocaust.

That night the

winners of Bog War

were announced:

LARONDE!

After a good nights

sleep, we spent a full

day on roller coasters

and everything else

that goes on in the

worlds greatest

amusement park.

Freezes, Pazatztas

and more. It was

d e f i a n t l y t h e

grandest trip ever!

I wish I can write

more but there is no

room.

A Gut Shabbos!

Come to

cocoa club

and get half

a Danish!

Sponsored by

the half Danish

foundation.

Restrictions may apply.

Looking for T-shirts, please

call 1-800-BOG-WAR

If you need a working mike

c a l l 1 - 8 0 0 - N O T -

HAPPENING

Siddurim and Bencher

grabbers now available!

Call 1-800-GANOVIM

Looking for writers who are

not A Tefach Hecher

Need a newsletter? 2 hour

service now available!

If you see someone sad, tell

him to call 1-800-DO-NOT-

LEAVE-CAMP

Classifieds

My Kup Veitug

א טפח העכערמסעי-שבת קודש פרשת מטות Issue 3

מחנה גן ישראלב“קיץ תשע

ד“בס

Being that this newsletter is

being made in the last minute,

there was no time to find

someone to interview, so instead

I began to interview myself, here

it goes:

ATH: What is your name?

ATH: A Tefach Hecher.

ATH: Are you enjoying

camp?

ATH: Only on Friday nights.

ATH: What about the rest of

the week?

ATH: I am usually thrown all

over the place, and ripped into

many pieces, by the time it is the

end of the week!

ATH: What is your message

to the campers?

ATH: Stop!

ATH: Tell us about you life,

how does it happen?

ATH: Well first of all, I’m locked

in a room most of the time, and

my “creator” still doesn’t have a

key to my room.

ATH: So how does he create

you?

ATH: In the last minute.

ATH: Then what happens?

ATH: After being typed I’m

shipped off to the main office on

a little chip.

ATH: Interesting, how does

that feel?

ATH: Very humbling.

ATH: What’s next?

ATH: This is my favorite time,

when they make hundreds of

copies of me! It’s a huge family

reunion!

ATH: Did you hear that some

campers are leaving camp?

ATH: Yes, it’s so sad, I hope they

take me home with them.

ATH: How can they take you

home?

ATH: The counselor who makes

me can give me to them!

ATH: Any final words?

ATH: The next time you get me,

keep in mind that I also have

feelings just like you. On the

other hand, I enjoy it when

people read me and they enjoy it,

it makes me feel so good!

grow, as apposed to campers.

Coffee does not stop you from

growing, rather it keeps you

awake. Automaticity campers

grow at a quicker pace than staff

members.

Many disagree by claiming staff

sleep in the staff lounge. This

was quickly disproven after

If you drink coffee does that

make you short or does it keep

you awake or both?

A panel of scientist have recently

discovered that this all has to do

with the fact that one grows

while sleeping.

They prove this, by pointing out

that all staff members do not

researchers have discovered

coffee in the above location, a

few month ago.

Although there seems to be a

coffee shortage now, it goes

mostly unnoticed since they

painted everything yellow.

Yellow rhymes with hello.

Welcome to Oholei Torah!

Get to know your staff

Science for Oholei-Torah’nicks

Page 2 א טפח העכער

This week we asked the following question to 770 random campers and here are the results:

When will the winners of Bog War be announced? 19% What’s Bog War?

34% They announced it in the park!

78% When the head staff get wet, DUH!

Most repeated song of the

month:

We’re soul expanders from

Love-Ville, Chochmo Binah Daas.

(Actual wording may vary)

CMS: That’s just the way I am, I

can’t do anything about it!

ATH: Where do sleep, if your

counselor kicks you out of

the bunkhouse?

CMS: I sneak into the

bunkhouse when no one is

looking.

ATH: Do you play sports?

CMS: No!

ATH: Why not?

CMS: Because I can’t catch a ball

so big!

ATH: It’s not so big!

CMS: Well, compared to me it’s

very big!

ATH: How big are you?

CMS: You don’t see? I’m just a

couple of inches!

ATH: You’re right! What’s

your full name?

CMS: Camper Mouse Shlita.

ATH: Are you leaving camp

for the second month!

CMS: Hopefully! Because I

heard the GM got some traps!

ATH: Thank you for your

time. Hey! Stop biting me, I’m

just a piece of paper, I’M

NOT FOOD! Just because a

camper spi l led some

Babaganush on me… Stop!

ATH: Why do you feel lonely?

CMS: Nobody in my bunk likes

me!

ATH: How do you know?

CMS: They always chase me out

of the bunkhouse!

ATH: What does your

counselor do?

CMS: Nothing! He even helps

them out!

ATH: Why do you think they

don’t like you?

CMS: Hmmm, maybe it’s

because I eat their nosh.

ATH: That’s it?

CMS: Ummm, I also make noise

in the bunkhouse after lights

out, and I don’t let anyone sleep.

ATH: That’s terrible! Why do

you do that?

An interview with a lonely camper

[Insert

Toichen

here]

Issue 3 Page 3

Explanations: 1) Scenic family portrait

2) On the way back from the

hospital

3) The kidnapping of Mishy Mop

4) Mug shot

5) Holding a tripod with a hidden

camara