Download - Black Butterfly
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BLACKBUTTERFLY
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OTHERBOOKSBYROBERTM.DRAKE
SPACESHIPSCIENCEBEAUTIFULCHAOS
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©RobertM.DrakeAllrightsreserved.
Reproductionofthewholeoranypartsofthecontentswithoutwrittenpermission
isprohibited.
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
ISBN978-0-9862627-8-4(ebook)
Bookdesign:RobertM.Drake
FirstEdition2015
ImageslicensedthroughShutterstock,Inc.Allrightsreservedtotheappropriatecopyrightholders.
Imagesappearinnochronologicalorder:
RomanSeliutin,conrado,OlenaZaskochenko,Ten03,GuzelStudio,MayerGeorge,OlgaEkaterincheva,
SvetlanaFedoseyeva,NeonShot,EugenePartyzan,mysticlight,ftelkov,AndreasGradin,gpointstudio,NejronPhoto,
NadyaKorobkova,SubbotinaAnna,SydaProductions,CURAphotography,OLGAILYINA,AliyevAlexeiSergeevich,
YuriyZhuravov,YanaZastolskaya,MatusciacAlexandru,BairachnyiDmitry,KristinaStasiuliene,YuriyZhuravov,Jetrel,AlexeyLosevich,GulKar,kiuikson,MaxFrost,
ElenaKharichkina,.NinaMalyna,SubbotinaAnna,NadyaKorobkova,OlegGekman,KaponiaAliaksei,NadyaKorobkova,
ZastolskiyVictor,KiselevAndreyValerevich,EvgeniyaPorechenskaya,Selins,FisherPhotostudio,Serov,Augustino,LuckyLuke,
SvyatoslavaVladzimirska,Pandorabox,SubbotinaAnna,Julenochek,sutulastock,RaisaKanareva,Ariadna22822,EvgeniyaPorechenskaya,
VolodymyrGoinyk,JeanetteDietl,DarkOne,Ase,KiselevAndreyValerevich,WhiteRoom,Radharani,Aboard,
JasonSalmon
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Dedicated
toallwhohaveadream
toallwhostruggletwojobstogetby
toallwhohavebeenignoredalltheirlives
toallwhofeelempty
toallwhocannotsleepbecausethereissomuchintheirmind
toallwhohavediedalittleinthenameoflove
toallwhoarecalledweird,strangeandodd
toallwhocreatebecausethatistheonlythingtheyknowhowtodo
toallwhobelieveinsomething
toallwhobreatheandtoallwhoarenolongerhere
thisoneisforyou.
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Theworldisfilled
withbrokenpeople
withbrokenlives
searchingforbrokenlove.
Andthatiswhybeing
alonehasnever
feltsogood.
Ican’tseemyselfwiththecrowd.
Ineverhave.
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Wearethemanifestation
ofawilddream.
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CONTENTS
INNERTRUTHNOONEWILL
THESPACESWELEAVEDESERVETOEXPECT
SAVEYOULOVE&STARS
OLDPHOTOGRAPHSMESSAGESTOYOU
BELIEVEBEBETTER
HEAVEN&HELLFORGETTINGHOW
CONFUSEDLETTERSSHELOVES
WHATIMEANTTOSAYSCARS&DREAMS
HELLOAGAINFEAR
RELATABLECHAOSANDI...
FINDINGNOTHINGBEAUTIFULCHAOS
LETLIVEUNHEARDGLORYIDIDNOTKNOWSMALLHEROES
FEELTHEMOMENTWEMUSTBEMAD
NOAIRHERELOSTWORLD
THINKINGKILLSIWANTEDTOTALK
HEALREMEMBERMEMAKEMESTAYFATALLYYOURS
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TIMECHANGESLIFE&DEATH
CLOSERRAINFALL
DEADTHRILLSNOEARS
IAMTHEFIREHOMEISPEOPLESAVEEVERYONE
CLOSESTRANGERMINDS
LOVEMOMENTSTHEWORLDSINUS
ILOVEHEREXPRESSIONSENDLESSWAR
IKNOWNOENDITISNOTTHEEND
NEVERBECOMEBUILD&DESTROYWALKINGBLIND
MAYBEITISTRUEVIOLENTSTORMS
TRAGICLOVELOSTPLACES
IWILLCHANGEYOUNOTATOMB
MACHINESTHATKILLRAINSONG
CRASH&BURNFOREVERFALLING
LIKETHEMOONSAVEUSPROMISE
ITDOESNOTFEELTHESAMETHROUGHTHEAIR
ADANGEROUSSHOREBRIGHTMOONS
LETTINGGOIMAGINE
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UNWILLINGDROWNINGINYOUCHANGINGTIDES
ITDOESNOTHURTIDOBELIEVEKISS&KILL
UNDERWATERTHINGSCHANGE
ISEEYOUFEELTHEMOMENTWARONMYSKIN
BORNTOFLYTHECHAOSINMEFINDYOURPATH
STRANGEFICTIONITNEVERENDS
THEWAVESKNOWHORRORSOFTHEHEART
WHOWEAREFALLENDEEPLYDARKDREAMS
SALVATIONINARTEDGEOFTHEWORLD
CONNECTSINSIDEALONEBYTHESUN
BEAUTIFULHORRORSTYPESOFFEELINGS
BEDESTROYEDBURNINGSCAR
ROBINWILLIAMSWILDWIND
RIOTINGBLOOMTHETHINGSICANLOSE
PLEASESTAYTHINGSDOCOMEBACK
BEAUTIFULWORDSNOSLEEP
NOTHINGISLEFTCURIOUSFEEL
DARKSECONDS
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NEVERSORRYDONOTWAITLOVEMEANT
ACCIDENTSHAPPENSADSOUL
ALOVERSSMILENIGHTBEAST
TERRIBLEDARKNESSDIRECTIONSTOMYHEART
LEAVEMYLOVEBEHINDLOVELYMADNESS
GOODBYETONIGHTTHELASTREQUEST
BURYMENOWSIMILARITIESDIFFERENCES
PRETENDINGTOLIVESENSINGITALL
MOVINGONWHEREWEBELONG
ARTISPAINI’MSORRYILEFT
RUNCLOSERYOUNGATHEART
OLDFRIENDCALMYOURSTORMS
HEALINGDRUGSEMPTYROOMS
IDONOTFALLEASYUNDERSTANDINGMEUNLOCKEDCAGES
LIVEDIELESSITMUSTBEREALTONIGHTITISUSFREEDOMSENSE
SLIPPINGAIRINEVERLEFTYOU
SCARYMOVIESBROKENHOURS
SHEEATSTHUNDER
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GHOSTLYMEMORIESENDLESSREPEAT
TRUTHHURTSBLOOMAGAIN
REBORNDEFEATISLOVE
WHENWORDSFAILCHANGEYOU,CHANGEUS
THINGSSTRIKEMESTOLENMAGICMADEMYSELF
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BLACKBUTTERFLY
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Loveisaviolent
flowerbloomingin
themiddleofmybones.
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InnerTruth
Thefunnythingaboutadviceis,wealwaystellothersthethingswecannotreallydoourselves.
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NoOneWill
Iknowhowyoufeelwhenyou’realone,lyingonyourbed,lookingatyourphoneasifit’smeanttobringyoupeacefromallthedemonstuggingatyourhead.
Youaskyourself:‘whointheworldwillloveme?’andyoushouldalwaysrememberhownoonewillnotever,unlessyouloveyourself.
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TheSpacesWeLeave
Ican’trecognizemyselflately;I’msomeoneIusedtoknow.IthinkyoutookmewithyouandIwashopingyoucouldjustleavemesomewhereelse,becauseI’vebeenwaitingformyself,waitingforallthepiecestocomehome.
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DeserveToExpect
Maybeallthatweareiswhatpeopleexpectustobe.
Onmaybewearemoreandweexpectmuchlessthanwethinkwedeserve.
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SaveYou
Openthoseeyesthereissomucharoundyou,andgivethisworldachancetosaveyou.
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Love&Stars
Lovewhatlovesyou,butneverhatewhathatesyou.Forhateistheburdentoexhaustthestarsinyou.
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OldPhotographs
Wetakepictureswithpeoplesotheycouldrememberusandleavememoriesbehindsotheydon’tforgetus.Andthedifferencebetweenthetwoarethesame.
Weleavethesemomentsintheair,hopingthatsomewheresomeonewillfindthemandmakesenseofeverythingwechosetoignore.
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MessagesToYou
MyDear,SometimesIamhereandsometimesIamnot,IlikethataboutmyselfforIamfolded.Butpleaseguidemeintherightdirection,forsometimesI,too,tendtolosemyselfinmyimagination.
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Believe
IneedtobelievethatonlyIcanchasemydreams.ThatonlyIcanlightthefireinme.ThatnoonecanbreakmeunlessIbreakmyselfandonlysomeoneelsecanhelpmecarrymypieces.IneedtobelievethatIamdifferentandIamfulloflove.AndifIliveeverymomentbelieving,thenthechaosinmyheartwillbeabeautifulthing,andtheworldwillneverceasetoforgetmyname.
Ijustneedtobelieve.
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BeBetter
Howarewesupposedtoloveoneanotherwhenwebarelyloveourselves.
Wearesomuchbetterthanwhattheywantustobe.
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Heaven&Hell
Ifoundheavenandhellinpeopleandthoseplacescouldneverbeignored.Becausetherearemoretruthsburieddeepwithinusthananyscienceorreligionwouldevenallowtoreveal.
Thesearethehiddensecrets.
Weareallourownformofdestruction,andourexistenceisanactofourownchoices.
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ForgettingHow
Toooftenwefeellikewedon’tknowhowtolive,andtoooftensomeonewilltellyouhow;withoutthemevenknowinghowtoliveforthemselves.
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ConfusedLetters
Becausesometimes,thepeopleweneedtosaveus,arereallythepeoplewhoneedthesavingforthemselves.
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SheLoves
Then,shebegantobreathe,andlive,andeverymomenttookhertoaplacewheregoodbyeswerehardtocomeby.Shewasinlove,butnotinlovewithsomeoneorsomething;shewasinlovewithherlife.
Andforthefirsttime,inalongtime,everythingwasinspiring.
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WhatIMeantToSay
PeopleareallthesamebutyouandI,we’renotlikethem.Sotosaythatwe’llbothstayisn’tyouanditisn’tmeeither.We’retragicallydrawntooneanotherandeventuallywe’llfallapart.Solet’senjoywhateveritisthatwehave,becausewhenwe’redone,Iwouldn’tknowwhatelsetogiveyouotherthanjustanotherstory.Andthatalonemightbethemostbeautifulthingwe’lleverlivetotell.
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Scars&Dreams
Sometimes,yourscarshavealotlesstodowithwhereyouhavebeenandalotmoretodowithwhereyouaregoing.
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HelloAgain
Andintheend,lettinggowasalotlikefindinglove.Ihadtolearntosaygoodbyetotheonewhogavemethecouragetosayhello.
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Fear
Destroythefearinyoubeforethefeardestroysthelifebeforeyou.
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RelatableChaos
FromchaostolullabiesIwatchedherlivemythoughts,andsoonenoughshedidbecomemyfavoritestony.Shewaseverythingandwitheverywordshedrewmecloser.Shedrewmeintoherstory,astoryIknewIwouldneverbeabletounderstand.
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AndI...
AndIlovedher,allofher,forhowIwatchedhercrawlbeneathmyskinandintomysoul.
AndIlovedher,allofher,forhowshewouldglideovermydarkfieldsandleavetrailsofroseslefttogrow.
AndIlovedher,allofher,forhowshedevouredmewholeandmadesenseofallofmybones.
Butmostofall,Ilovedher,allofher,forhealingmypiecesandguidingthemallbackhome.
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FindingNothing
AndforonceIdidnotknowwheretobegin,IfeltlikeIhavebeenlooking,lookingforalovethatIhavealreadylost.
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BeautifulChaos
Chaos,leavemenever,keepmewildandkeepmefreesothatmybrokennesswillbe,theonlybeautytheworldwillsee.
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LetLive
IwasbornthemomentIfellinlovewiththeworld,becauseIknewsomewhere,someonelikeyouexistedinit.
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UnheardGlory
IfthereissomethingyoumustknowbeforeIletyougo;itisthis:inyourjourneyyouwillmeetbrokenpeople,hatefulpeopleandpeoplewhohavelostthesightfortheirglory.
Andthebeautyofitallisthis:Iwilltellyoutolovethem,tolovethemdeeplyandshowthemhowsomeofusstillcare.
Nevergiveuponthem,fortogiveuponthemistodestroyareflectionofourselves.
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IDidNotKnow
Icouldn’tfindthewordstosaveyou,tomakeyoustill.
AndIburiedmyselfintheregretuntilIbecameit.
IfonlyIhadknown,thenperhaps,youwouldhavestayed.
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SmallHeroes
Howbeautifullyblindarewetoignorethesmallestthingsinus,foritisthesmallestpartsinus,thatgiveusthepowertodothemostbrilliantofthings.
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FeelTheMoment
Whenitwasover,nothingdefinedus;otherthanthemomentsthatmadeusfeelfree.
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WeMustBeMad
Itmustbemadnessthewayweletthingsdevourus,thewayweletthethingswewantoutbackin.
Andthehorrorofitallisthis:westayattractedtoeverythingthathurts.Weclingtoitandneverreallylearntoletgo.
Soperhaps,wedowanthappiness,butwealsodesiretokeepthepainclose.Closeenoughtodestroyus,closeenoughtodefineusandcloseenoughtomakeusfeelalittlelesscold.
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NoAirHere
IcannotsaythatIdonotwanttodrown.IjusthopeitisyouthatwillbetherewhenIletgobecauseyouarethereasonIlosemybreatheverytimeItrytobreathe.
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LostWorld
Maybethatistheproblemwiththeworld.Wedonotknowwhattofeelandwedonotknowhowtobeourselves.
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ThinkingKills
Wethinkweoweeveryonesomething.Wethinkweneedtoexplainourselvesandwethinktoomuchaboutthinkingtoomuch.
Anditisfunnyhowwethinkweknowitall,buttherealityisthis:everythingwethinkthatbringsusclosertogetheriseverythingthatsetsusfurtherapart.Andoverthinkingofhowdifferentweallare;isfailingtorecognizeofhowconnectedweallcouldreallybe.
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IWantedToTalk
IttookmeyearstounderstandthatthemoreItriedtosettleherflamesthebiggerherfiregrew.AndthemoreItriedtocontrolher;thefurtherIpushedheraway.
Andwhenshewasfinallygone,sheleftnothingbehind.AndforsomereasonIstillthoughtofher;Istillhopedthatmaybesomewhere,someonehasfoundherandhasfinallylearnedhowtosetherheartfree.
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Heal
Tochangetheworldwemusthealourwomen,becauseitisthewomenwhoteachushowtolove.Andifamancanlearntolove,thewayawomanlovesachildthenthatmanwillseetheworldinadifferentlight.
Theworldwillneverbethesame.
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RememberMe
Ihopethereissomeonetorememberme,whentheworldhasforgotten.
Ihopethereissomeonetoloveme,whenlovehasforgotten.
Ihopeitisyouwhofindsme,whenIhavelosthopeineverythingIusedtolivefor.
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MakeMeStay
Allthepeoplewehavemetandallthepeoplewehaveyettomeetaremeanttoexistsowecanfindthem.Sowebothcouldexchangeasetofdirections,directionswhichwillguideustothenextplacewearemeanttogo.
Andaswego;wemustalwaysbelievethatmaybethiscouldbeourlaststop.Thatmaybethenextpersonwemeetwillnothaveasetofdirections,thatmaybetheywillhavemoreandthatmaybetheywillofferussomethingbeautifulenoughtoinspireustostay.
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FatallyYours
Ourfateliesinthehandsofthethingsweloveandsometimesthethingswelovearethethingsthatleadustothefataldestructionofourselves.
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TimesChanges
Thehardestpartisacceptinghowpeoplechangeandthatalonechangeseverything.
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Life&Death
Howbeautifulitistoliveinaworldwherenothinglastsforever.Wemustlearntofallinlovewiththeloveinsideus.
onlythen,everymomentlivingwillbeeverymomentworthdyingfor.
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Closer
Becausesometimesitnevermakesanysense;themoreItrytoforget,themoreeverythingremindsme.ThemoreItrytorunaway,thecloserIamtoitall.ThemoreItrytobedifferent,themoreIrealizethatIamthesame.
Becausesometimesnothingevermakesanysense,butalsobecausesometimeswhatdoesn’tmakeanysenseiseverythingIneedtodefineallthatIfeel.
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RainFall
AndallIcouldrememberwasthetwoofuslyingonthegroundandlookingatthesky,wishingforittorain.Inhopesthatmaybewebothcouldlearnalittlesomethingaboutfallingthewaytheskywroteitontheclouds.
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DeadThrills
Ittakesacertainkindofcouragetolove.ItisnoteasyandIalwaysknowhowthesethingsend;sometimesdullandsometimesboring
Peopleareeasytolosethethrillofbeingwiththesameperson,especiallyforalongtime.
Wearelikethatandnothingeversurvivestime.Giveanythingalittletime,andsoonenoughthatclockwillend.
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NoEars
Sometimes,wehateourselvesforthefeelingsweignore.
Maybethatistheproblem;wedonotlistentoourselvesuntilitistoolate.
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IAmTheFire
Listen,Iamnotsomeonewhoiseasytolove.Iamnotsomeonewhoistobetakenlightlyandmostofall;Iamnotsomeonetoburn.
ForIamthefire,mysoulisonfireandeverythingIlivetotouchbecomesonewiththefire.
Soaskyourselfifyouarewillingtoburn,becausethemomentyouopenyourselftome,Iwillhavenochoicebuttoscorcheverythingthatdefinesyou.AndwithoutregretIwilldevourandIwillleavenothingbehind.
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HomeIsPeople
Therewillbetimeswhenwefeellikewearemeanttobealone;likethisloveweseekisnotrealandwecreatedittomakesenseofouremptiness.
Andbecauseofthat;sometimes,someofusbecomebitterwiththeideathatloveisonlytheanticipationoffindingsomeonewewillneverlivetomeet.
Soweliveourliveslookingforsomethingtofillusandgiveusmeaning,onlytodiscoverthatintheend,lovewasnevermeanttobereceivedbyoneperson,butratherallthepeoplewhomadeusfeelathome.
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SaveEveryone
Andeverynightshewouldchangeherself,stayuplateandgrowdeeperinlove.Shewantedtoloveitall,everythingandeveryone.
Andhowironicwasit,shewantedtosavetheworld,thesameworldwhocouldnotrememberhername.
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CloseStrangers
AndinthatmomentallIcouldrememberwasourgoodbyeandhoweverymomentspentwaslikeIneverknewyouatall.
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Minds
Weareallborntosufferfromtruthsandweareallborntolivefromlies.
Andsometimesthedarknessfeelsclosertoheaventhananylightthatmightdirectusclosertohell.
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LoveMoments
Tragedieswillalwaysbefoundinthethingsweloveandifwearenotwillingtoseethebeautyinlosingsomethingthatmeanstheworldtous,thenimaginehowterribleitwillbetoliveforthem.
Wemustalwayswelcometheendofallthings.Forsometimesknowingnothinglastsforeveristheonlywaywecanlearntofallinlovewithallthemoments,andallthepeople,thataremeanttotakeourbreathaway.
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TheWorldsInUs
Theworldtellsuswearedifferent,andIlaugh.Ilaughbecauseweareallproductsofitsmisery.
Weareallaloneandlost;thesamewaytheworldstaysintheheartofitall.
Aloneandlostbetweenthedarkness.
Aloneandlostwearethesame.
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ILoveHer
Andshealwayshadawaywithherbrokenness.
Sheshouldtakeherpiecesandmakethembeautiful
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Expressions
Icouldneverseetheworldinthesamelight,becauselovehasmademebelievethatsometimesthesoulcouldfeelthethingsthatthebodywouldneverbeabletounderstand.
Andthatwithinitselfwouldbetheperfectexpression.WhereallthethingsIsharedwiththeworldwerenevermeanttobeunderstood,butrathertobepoureddeeplywithintheirheartsandbefelt.
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EndlessWar
Afterall;warisallthatweareandeverythingwedoisfoughtlikeone.Wefighttosurvive,wefightforpeopleweloveandwefightagainstourselves.
Andthesewarsaretheonlythingsthatmakesensetous.Itisallwehaveeverknownandthatalonehaseverythingtodowitheverythingwefeel.
Anditisbeautifulhowthewarinsideusistheonlythingthatismeanttomakeusfeelsafe,againstaworldthathasbeendesignedtoripusapartfromthemomentweareborn.
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IKnowNoEnd
Iwasbornintotheworld;inallitsbittergentleness.
IwakeupbeneaththecoldanditisheavybutIcanstillbreathe.
Theshowmustgoon,ImustgoonandIwillneverendliketheloveithasgivenme.
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ItIsNotTheEnd
ThecloserIgottopeople,themorealoneIfelt.AndtheirfaceswouldsaymoreaboutmethanIcouldeverofmyself.
MaybethatiswhyIfeltsoemptysometimes.Ileftmypiecesintheplacesthatfilledme.
Andintheend,IlostmyselfineverythingIknewIloved.
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NeverBecome
Wewillneverbehappy,becauseourexpectationofhappinessisalwaysevolving.Andasweevolveeverythingchanges.Eventhelovewehavenowbecomessomethingofyesterdayandtheanticipationofthethingswedesiretomorrow;arethethingsthatfillouremptinesstoday.
Andasweevolve;nothingstaysthesame.Wewillalwayswantmoreevenifwhatwehavenowisenough.
Thisisthedestructionofbeinghuman.Wecreatetheillusionofhappinesstomakesenseofthedisappointmentswehaveyettolive.
Andsometimeswedofindhappiness,butevenso,sometimesitisnotmeanttolastsforeverandthatwithinitselfisabeautifulthingtoevolvefrom.
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Build&Destroy
Findsomeonewhoisworthtakingyouawayfromtherealityyouhavebuilt.
Andbecomesomeonewhowillinspireotherstodesignarealityworthbuilding.
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WalkingBlind
Wearetoofasttojudgethefaultsinothers,buttooslowtojudgethefaultswithinourselves.
SometimesIfeellikeIamwalkingbackwards,andrunningincirclesoverandoveragain.
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MaybeItIsTrue
Maybewefeelemptybecauseweleavepiecesofourselvesinallthethingsweusedtolove.
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ViolentStorms
Shebroughtoutthestorminpeoplebecausesheknewwhereverthereweredarkskiesandwildwindssleptatruth.Atruththatdescribedhowmuchloveonecanleavebehindthemomenttheyacceptallthepaintheyhavelived.
Andthatisallsheeverwanted,foreveryonearoundhertoembracetheirstormsandmakelovetotheirownviolentwinds.
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TragicLove
HowelsedidIthinkthiswasgoingtoend?Yes,itdidhurtitalwaysdoes.Iwasjustthatkindofperson.ThekindofpersonwhowouldalwaysbelieveinthebestofpeopleandIbelievedinherasIwatchedherkillmeslowly.
AndIdidwelcomethepain;therewasnootherwaytolive.Shemademeknowwhatitwasliketofeelandthatwasimportanttome.
AndasthetimepassedIstillthoughtabouther,andmaybeonedayIwouldbeabletofindher,andthankherforthetragedybecauseitwasexactlywhatIneededtosetmyselfapart.
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LostPlaces
Somepeoplearelostintheirheads.Somepeoplearelostintheirhearts.Andsomepeoplearesolosttheyfindthemostbeautifulplaces;thatsomeofuswillneverlivetofill.
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IWillChangeYou
Ifever,youfindyourselflostinme,tellmewhatyouseebeneathitall.
Andifitisbeautyyouseekinmadness,thenIwelcomeyoutostay.
ButIcanonlypromiseyouthis,aftertonightyouwillnever,neverbethesame.
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NotATomb
Thisworldisnotatombforourlove.Thisworldisadooranditisthedoorinwhichourbodiescollideandwhereoursoulsbecometidalwavesthatdonotdestroyastheyexpand,butrathertheycollectourmemoriesastheyrecede.
Thisworldisnotatombforourlove.ThisworldisjustthebeginningandwhenourbodiesdetachthemselvesfromthisplaceyouandIwillfindeachotherandourstorywillnotend.Wewillnotendandinthenextlifewewillstironeanotheruntiltheoceansinmereflecttheskiesinyou.
Thisworldisnotatombforourloveandthoughwebothknowthatthisworldwillend,butitwillnotbeourtomb.
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MachinesThatKill
Howdistanthavewealltrulybecome;tobelievethattheonlythingsthatmakeusfeellikeweareapartofeachothers&lives,arethemachineswecreatedthatdriftusallfurtherapart.
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RainSong
Andtherewerealwaysthosenightswhereshepreferredtherainoverpeople.Becausetherainwouldremindherofhowsheshouldfeelandpeoplewouldremindherofallthethingsshealwayswantedtoforget.
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Crash&Burn
Iadmitshehadalittlemadness,butIdidn’tcare.ShewasmagicandIwasontheedge.ShewantedtofallandIwantedtofly.Andsomewherein-betweenwelostdirectioninourheads.
WecollidedandIlostmyheartonimpact.
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ForeverFalling
Falldeeplyintosomethingindefinable.Believeme,itisabeautifulthing.Letitgrowinsideyouuntilitbecomesyouandthenletitgrowsomemore.
Andwhentheindefinablebecomesthefamiliar,thenIurgeyoutokeepgoing,tokeepfinding,therewillalwaysbemore.Thatisyourroleinlife;tokeeponexperiencingyourselfuntilyouknowsomuchthatitterrifiesyou.
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LikeTheMoon
Shecouldnotmakesenseofthethingsthatweremeantforher,butshewasdrawntoitall.Andwhenshewasalone,shefeltlikethemoon:terrifiedofthesky,butcompletelyinlovewiththewayitheldthestars.
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SaveUs
Ican’ttellyouexactlyhowitwillend,butIcansaythis,whenitbegins,itwillfeelliketherainandwhenitends,itwillfeellikethefire.
Andthetruthis,wearebothbeautifullymadenoughtobelieve,thatmaybelovewasmeanttosaveusfromourselves.
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Promise
Lovemelikethereissomethingintheairanditiskillingussoftly.
Lovemeforever,lovemeslowly,lovemetillyoudieandifweeverloseourway,promisemethatyouwillfindmeinallthemomentswhereItookyourbreathaway.
Promiseme.
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ItDoesNotFeelTheSame
IfeelcertainthatIwillnotreturntotheworld,thatthelovethatflowswithinmewillneverstopconsumingme,forithastakenmeawayfromitall.
Andthatisexactlywhathappenstouswhenwefallinlove.Wedisregardtheworldandeveryoneinitandbelievethatnothingreallymattersbeyondthispoint,butthetruthisthis:sometimeswecheatourselvesfromunderstandingthatwhenwereturn;theworldmightlookthesamebutitwillnotfeelthesamewayatall.
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ThroughTheAir
Weburnedthroughtheairandweconvincedthefirethatwe,too,wereworthyoflightinganyroomanddimmingslowlyandsoftly.
Andtogetherlikethesunweroseandmanifestedbrightly,andtogetherlikethesunsetwefadedoffmagnificently.AndforthatmomentintimeIknewwhatwehadwasmeanttobeunforgettablybeautiful.
Andthatwasjustwithoureyes,imaginewhatitwouldbelikeifever,wesaidhello.
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ADangerousShore
Maybeitwasn’ther.Maybeitwasjusteveryoneelse,andmaybethat’swhywecouldn’tunderstandher.
Maybeshewasanoceanandmaybeshejustalwaysmadeusallfeellikewewerelostatsea.
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BrightMoons
Therewasaflowerinherheart;itjustneededmoreroomtobloom.Andwhenshesetitfree,sheshowedtheworldthatsometimesthemostbeautifulthingscangrowinthedarkestofplaceswithouttheneedoflight.
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LettingGo
Thehardpartispretendingnottogiveafuckwhenyoureallydo.
Theworstpartistryingtocloseyourheartwhenitsdoorshavebeenblowntopieces.
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Imagine
Thereissomethingfargreaterthandeathandthatistobeignored.SometimesIthinkofallthefacesIhavecomeacrossandallthefacesIhaveforgottenandhowterribleitistocomeandgo.
Imagineyoumeetsomeone,andcompletelyforgettheyexistedthenextday.Inaway,thisishowweallliveourlives.Wetendtoonlycareaboutthemomentsthatmakeusfeelsomething;untilwecompletelydevourthelifeoutofthemandmoveontothenextmomentthatmightmakeusfeellikeweareallworthalittlemorethanthatofthenightbefore.
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Unwilling
AndwhenItoldmeIfeltdisconnectedfromitall,itreallymeantIneededyoutosaveme.
Savemefromallthethingswewerebothunwillingtoletgo.
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DrowningInYou
MaybeIamalittlecrazy.
Crazyenoughtolovemadlyandcrazyenoughtolovelikepainwasnevermeanttoreachtheshore.
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ChangingTides
Thereisnothingmoredangeroustoanyformofgovernmentthananentiregenerationwhoknowshowtodreamandbelieveinthemselvesenoughtochangeandreinventitall.
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ItDoesNotHurt
Maybeitisjustthewaywearewhenwearewitheachother.Wecannotgetittogetheroragreeonanything.Andmaybethatiswhatattractsus;thefactthatyouandIknowwhatisbestforoneanother,butwearejusttooafraidtoacceptit.Eitherway,IamnotsureifIcaneverletgobecausedeepdowninsideofmeeverythingbeginstohurtthemomentIfeellikelookingaway.
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IDoBelieve
Donotwaituntiltomorrow,tomorrowisnotreal.ThereisonlynowandrightnowIneedyoutobelieveinyourselfmorethanIbelieveinyou.
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Kiss&Kill
Lovingmewillnotbeeasy.
Itwillbewar.
YouwillholdthegunandIwillhandyouthebullets.
Sobreathe,andembracethebeautyofthemassacrethatliesahead.
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Underwater
Youarenotwhoyouarewhenyouareabovethewater.
Youarewhoyouarewhenyoureturnbacktotheoceanandyourememberwhatitfeltlikewhenyousawthesky.
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ThingsChange
IknowIhavenotbeenthesameandIknowtherearetimeswhenIlookatyouandIfeellikeIamstaringatsomeoneIbarelyknowanymore.Andwhatkillsmethemostis;thatIknowdeepdowninsidewhenyoulookatme,youareprobablyfeelingthesamething.Andthereisnootherwaytodefinethisthanmelosingmyselfhereandyoufindingyourselfsomewhereelse.
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ISeeYou
Thetruthis,shedidnotneedtobesaved;shejustneededtofeellovedandknowthatsomeoneouttherecravedherattention.
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FeelTheMoment
Sometimeswejustneedsomeone.Itdoesnotmatterwhoitis.Justsomeone,someonetoremindusofwhatitisliketoliveinamomentandfeelsomethingbeforewewalkaway.
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WarOnTheSkin
Howviolentlybeautifulwoulditbetoleaveyourmindhereandyourbodysomewhereelse.
Thisisthewayyoumakemefeelwhenyourfingertipsdeclarewaronmyskin.
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BornToFly
Youhavethoughtaboutwhattheworldthinksforsolongthatyoucouldhardlyrecognizeyourselfanymore.
Imagine,beingborntoflybutbeingplacedinacagewhereyoucouldbarelystretchoutyourownwings.
Youcouldstillbesomanythingsandthereissomuchmoreofyoutobefound.
Sofly,flyawayandneverreturntoaworldthatmakesyoufeellikeyouaretrapped,andyoudonotknowwhoyouare.
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TheChaosInMe
Theworstthingyoucoulddoistamethechaosinyou.Itislikebeingtoldnottofeelwhenyouarewalkingthroughthefire.
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FindYourPath
Don’tthink.Itcomplicatesthings.Justfeel,andifitfeelslikehomethenfollowitspath.
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StrangeFiction
Perhaps,insomesense,whatweconsiderrealityisinfactthestrangestpieceoffictionwewillalleverlivetoknow.
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ItNeverEnds
Ibegantohavesymptomsofyou.Ibegantothinkandtalklikeyou.Ilaughedlikeyou,IwalkedlikeyouandIevenbegantosmilelikeyou.ImissedyousomuchthatIbecameyou.
Andastheyeanpassed;Iheardrumorsthatyoubecamemetoo.Andwhenwefinallycrossed,westoodsilentlyinfrontofeachotherandIfeltlikeIfellofftheedgeoftheearth.
Iknewwhatwehadwasnotover,wewerenotdoneandwedidnotknowhowtomakeourloveend.
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TheWavesKnow
Andtheoceantaughtherhowtodrowninallthethingsbiggerthanherself.Theoceanlovedherandkneweverythingthatmadeherandeverytimeshewouldwalktotheshore,shewouldsmileattheoceanbecausethewavesknewherstory.
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HorrorsOfTheHeart
Shewasnevercrazy.Shejustdidn’tletherheartsettleinacage.Shewasbornwildandsometimesweneedpeoplelikeher.Forit’sthehorrorsinherheartwhichcausetheflamesinours.
Andshewasalwayswillingtoburnforeverythingshehaseverloved.
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WhoWeAre
Wespendourliveslookingforreasonswhytostaybutsometimesleavingistheonlythingwearemeanttoshare.
Sowhytrytobeanythingmorethanwearemeanttobecome.
Maybecomingandgoingiswhatmakesuswhoweare.
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FallenDeeply
AndeverytimeIlookatyou,Icanfeelsomethingstirringinsideofme.Likeacollectionofdyingstarsdrowningbeneaththewaves.
WavesthatbelongtoyouroceanandIhavefallendeeplywithoutreallyknowinghowfaritallcouldgo.
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DarkDreams
I’mnotwhoIwasyesterdayandmaybeyou’restillthesamepersoninmymemories.Ican’ttellthedifferencebetweenwhatwasandwhatis.Ijustknowbeneatheverythingyouleftbehind,Ifoundadarkparadise,whereyouandIwereforeverandyouandIwereone.
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SalvationInArt
Iwouldliketobethenecessaryandnottheobvious.Iwouldliketobetheonlythingthatcouldexistinyoursentence.
Iwanttobemorethanjustwords.
Iwanttobeyourart,Iwanttobeyoursalvation.
Artistheonlythingthatallowsustobeourselves.
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EdgeOfTheWorld
Ihavelettoomanynightspasswithouttellingyouhowyourloveissobeautifulandfull.AndhowitbloomsinthedarknessandhowitistheonlythingIcansee;distantlyburninglikeacandleontheedgeoftheworld.
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ConnectsInside
Ifyoueverforgetwhoyouare;alwaysrememberthatyouareeverythingyouknowyouarenot.
Andifyoucannotrememberthat;thenrememberthis:youareeverymomentthatismeanttoberemembered.Youareeverythingthatmattersandyouareeverythingthatmakessensetoallthelittlethingsthatconnectinsideofyou.
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AloneByTheSun
Justtothinkwesharethesameskyandbreathethesameair.Perhaps,thatisallIwilleverneed.
Toknowthatmaybesomeoneouttherewasmeantforme.
SoIwouldnotfeeltooalone.
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BeautifulHorrors
Leaveyourhorrorswithme,theyarebeautiful.Leaveallthethingsyouhavealwayswantedtoforgetandleaveeverythingelsethathurts.Iwillshowyouthatyouarenotcrazy.YouarejustalittledifferentandIhavealwaysbeenasuckerforthat.
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TypesOfFeelings
Youbegintofeellikeyouarenotyourselflately.Youbegintolaughandyoubegintosmilealittlemoreoften.Andforasecondtimeyoubegintodiscoveryourselfagain.
Thisisthekindoffeelingpeoplehavewhentheystarttobelieveinsomethingbiggerthanthemselves.AndthisisthekindoffeelingIgetwhenIamlost;submergedsomewheredeepinsideofyoursoul.
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BeDestroyed
Theremustbeaboutamillionwaystoletyourselfbedestroyed,butthenthereisyouandIthinktonightIaminthemoodtobreakapartandletmyselfbeconsumedbyallthethingsIknowIwouldneverbeabletorecoverfrom.
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BurningScar
Andintheend,sheleftascarandIknewthatwashowshewantedtoberemembered.
Shewantedtoleavehermarkintheworldwithoutgettingherhearttooattachedtoit.
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RobinWilliams
Icouldnevertakemyselftooseriously.Iwantedthewholeworldtosmilewithme,andIwantedtofilltheiremptyspaceswithlaughter.
SowhenIdepartedfromtheireyes,theirheartswouldrememberhowbeautifulitistofeel.
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WildWind
Ifonlyweknewhowtostopwaitingforallthethingsthatarenotmeanttoarrive,thenperhaps,someofuswouldfinallyletgoandlearnhowtoflyagainstthewildwind.
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RiotingBloom
Shedidnotfindthegriminfallingapart,foreverytimeshefoundherselftobebroken,sheknewthatshewasbrutallyremakingherselfandcollapsingtoberebornlikeariotingstar;hauntingthedarksky.
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TheThingsICanLose
WithoutalittlemadnessIwouldn’tbeabletofeel.AndifIcan’tfeelthenI’lllosemymind.AndifIlosemymindthenI’lllosemywords.
ThisishowIlove,madlyenoughtolosemyselfandfeelallthethingsIcan’tputintowords.
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PleaseStay
Thebeautyofnotknowinghowyoufeelisthatonedayyouwillrealizethatnotknowingwastheonlywayyouwouldfindallthefeelingsthatweremeanttostay.
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ThingsDoComeBack
Iknowwhenwegowecomebackasthethingsweadmiredmost.SowhenItoldyouIadmiredautumnandyoutoldmeyouadmiredthewaychildrenlaugh;thatstuckonme.Andintheend,Iknowsomeofuswillcomebackastherain,whileotherswillcomebackasflowers.
SoifIcomebackasafallingleafstumblingtowardstheground,justpromisemeyouwillcomebackintheimaginationofachildandyouwillinspiremetobecomesomethingmorethanwhatIreallyam.
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BeautifulWords
Youaregoingtocomeacrosspeopleinyourlifewhowillinspireyou,loveyouandchangeyou.
Andthatisararething.
Buteveryonceinawhileyouwillcomeacrosssomeonewhowillcompletelyrobyoufromyoursleep,andthosearethepeoplewhoarejusttoobeautifultoputintowords.
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NoSleep
Dreamswerealwaysdrawntocallhernameandrealityjustcouldnotlearntolethergo.
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NothingIsLeft
Somepeoplearemeanttostaywhileothersaremeanttoleave.Andthereisreallynodifferencebetweenthetwoexceptthewayyouchangeafteryourealizeyouhavenothingelselefttogive.
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CuriousFeel
Wearehere,butbeforeweforgetwhywecame;letusrememberwell,thatthisisthewaywealltendtobegin;withalittlecuriosityforsomethingthatismeanttomakeusfeelreal.
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DarkSeconds
Donotdetachyourfaceandpointittowardsthestars,youwillnotfindyourselfintheheavens.Youwillfindyourselfwhenyoustandinthecenterandexplodetolightupthedarkforafewseconds.
Inourlastmomentswewillbedefinedbyhowwelitthecloudsandtimewillpassandwewillbeforgottenbuttheskywillrememberournames.
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NeverSorry
Shewasneversorryfornotknowinghowtoendandnotknowinghowtobeamemory.Shewasneversorryfornotlettingtheworldturnhercold.
Andmostofall,shewasneversorryforlearninghowtolovesodeeplyandformovingthesepeoplearoundherinwaystheirbodiescouldneverimagine.
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DoNotWait
WhenIlookatyouIcan’trememberwhatI’mwaitingfor.IforgetwhoIamandIforgetwhyIevencame.
ThisishowIwanttolive;likeI’mlostinsomethingIloveandeverymomentIspendislikeI’mwaiting,waitingforsomethinginspiringtohappen.
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LoveMeant
ShewassomanythingsandIneverunderstoodwhyshealwayswantedtobesodifferent.ItriedtodefinehereverytimeshechangedbecauseI,too,wouldchangeandthenitalljustchanged.
OrmaybeshewasneverhereandIwasalwayswaiting,waitingforagirlwithtoomuchinsideher.
Agirlwiththekindofstorythatwouldachemysoul,becauseIknewitwasnotmeanttolasts,butalsobecauseIknewthatthiswastheonlywaylovewasmeanttogo.
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AccidentsHappen
Peoplecomeandgo,theytakesomethingandleavebuttherelationshipbetweenyouandotherpeopleiseasy.
Justkeeptheoneswhowantthatlittlelightinsideofyou,thatlittlelightyoucannotevenexplainyourself.Everyoneelseisjustacoincidence;alittleaccidentwaitingtohappen.
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SadSoul
MaybeonedaywewillfindthatplacewhereyouandIcouldbetogether.Andwewillcatchourdreamswithinthewavesofchange.
Sosmileformeonelasttimeandbelievethatwewillmeetagain.
Untilthen,Iwillbemissingyou.
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ALoversSmile
Themostdangerousloverisonewhogreetsthepainwithasmile.
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NightBeast
Andeveryonceinawhileitwouldjusthitme;thehorrifyingtruthofbeingalone.
AnditdidnotmatterifIwaswithgoodorbadcompany.Iwouldslowlyfeeltheviolentpullofloneliness;shakinginsideofmelikeawildbeastinthenight.
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TerribleDarkness
AndwhenIlookedbackatmylife,whenIlookedbackatitall,Icleanlysawhowbadtimesreallymeanteverything.Andhoweverymomentthatledmetohappiness,revolvedaroundsomekindofterribledarkness.
SometimesthedarknesswasabeautifulthingandsometimesittookmetoaplacewhereIhadnoideawhereitallcouldgo,butIknewitwasallmeanttobeokay.
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DirectionsToMyHeart
Mymindwilldepartnowandthenexttimeitishere;itwillnotbethesame.
Sogoodbyelittlethoughts,flyaway,andtakemyfearswithyou.
Andifever,youreturnthengivedirectiontomyheart,soitcanneverstopbelievinginallthethingsIwillneverlivetounderstand.
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LeaveMyLoveBehind
IjustwanttotelleveryonewhatIwaslike.IwantyoualltoknowhowmuchIfelt.Iwantyoualltotellthemhowmystorywasnothardbuthowitwasinspiring.
TellthemIexisted.TellthemhowmuchIlived.
Andaboveall,tellthemallhowmuchIloved.
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LovelyMadness
Youlookatlovers,thewaytheyarewitheachotheranditmakesyousick,forhowcouldtwopeoplebeinloveandthenthenextdaycanbecompletestrangers.
Andwhenyouthinkaboutlove,youfeelthatitmustbesomethingonlycrazypeopledo...untilitfindsyou,becauseitwill.Andwhenitdoesitwillgrabyouandshakethemadnessoutofyou.Onlytodiscoverthat,thatlittletouchofcrazyhasalwaysbeeninsideyoutoo.
Loveisbeautifulbutlovetoocanbeterrible.
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GoodbyeTonight
Wewillnotbethesameaftertonightandknowingthiswestillsmileandsaygoodbye.
Thisishowitoperates,thisishowchangehappens.
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TheLastRequest
I’msorryIcan’tsavetheworld;Idon’twantanypartinthat.IjustwanttoberememberedinawaywhereIcanmeaneverythingtoonepersonandsavethem,savethemfromalltheinsecuritiesthisworldhascreated.
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BuryMeNow
Thesimpletruthhowsometimeswearenotmeanttoberestored,howwearenotmeanttofeelathomeandhowwearenotmeanttoliveeasy.
Sometimesourthoughtsragelikewildfiresandourbodiesstayperfectlystill.
Theworldwantstokillus,butweareallalreadydead.Deathwillcomeeasyandeverythingelseistoohard.
Somethingwewillneverbeabletounderstand.
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Similarities
Somethingsneverchange;likethatfeelingyougetwhenyouhaven’tseensomeoneforsometimenow.Thatfeelingoftwopeoplestartingrightwheretheyleftoff.
Andthen,somethingsdochangeliketwopeoplegrowingfurtherapart,butalsorememberingthelittlethings,thelittlesimilaritiesthatstringthembacktogether,asifnothingeverhappenedorasifnothingeverdriftedthemapart.
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Differences
Whenwehavesomethingwewantmoreandwhenwehavenothingwewantsomething.
Wealwaystendtowantthethingswecan’thaveandinastrangeway...
thatmakesusallthesame.
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PretendingToLive
They’renotlikeyouandI,theyjustdon’tgetit.Theydon’tseechaosasbeautyorself-destructionasbirth.Theydon’tknowwhattofeelandtheydon’tknowhowtobethemselves.
Butmostofall,theyjustdon’tknowhowtolive.
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SensingItAll
Ijustwantyoutohelpmefinishmystory.Iwantittoendwithconfusion,andIneverwanttomakesenseofallthethingsthisworldhasmademefeel.
Becauseweshouldnevergivereasonforbeing.
Forbeingisallweknowwheneverythingelsejustdoesn’tseemtomakeanysenseatall.
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MovingOn
Theolderyougetthemorepeopledisappearandthat’showitworks.Onedayyouaremissingthecompanyofsomeoneandthenthenextdayyourememberalittlelessthattheyaregone.Youadapttothechangeanditdoesn’tmakeyouabadpersontomoveon;
that’slifeandthat’sjusthowpeopleare.
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WhereWeBelong
Webelongtootherpeople.Webelongintheirphotographs,intheirmemoriesandintheirhearts,becausesometimesthatisallwehave.Theideaofwantingtobelongtosomeone,tosomeonewhotellsusthattheyneedusjustasmuchasweneedthemandthatiswhatthemeaningoflifeshouldbe.Tofeellovedandtogiveitbackandnothingelse,becausehonestlyeverythingelsedoesnotmatter,everythingelseisjustamapandthatmapmightleadustoaholefilledwithquietdesertsandemptyspaces.
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ArtisPain
Artispainandpainistheartinwhichwefindourselves.
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I’mSorryILeft
Iunderstandyoujustwantedsomeonetoreachyou;whenyoufeltlikeyouhadbeengoneforsometimenow.
MaybeIfailedyouandmaybethingscouldhavebeendifferent.
IfonlyIhadknown,thenperhaps,whenIreturned,youwouldhavestayedthesame.
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RunCloser
TherearesomedayswhereIfeellikenomatterwhereIgo,Ialwaysendupfeelingthesame,becauseallplacesarethesameintheend.
Ormaybeit’sjustmeandnomatterwhereIgo,IcouldneverrunfarenoughfromwhoIam,andIcouldneverrunfarenoughfromeverythingthathurts.
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YoungAtHeart
Shehadsuchabeautifulmind.Thekindofmindthatsparkedmydreams,thekindofmindthatledmyinspirationanditwasthekindofinspirationthatonlytheyoungatheartcouldimagine.
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OldFriend
Icantellyou’renotyourselflatelyandIhopeWhereveryou’vegone,youfeelfree.
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CalmYourStorms
IseeallthesepeoplebutIcan’tseetheirfaces.I’vebeentoallthesecitiesandIcan’trememberwhattheylooklike.
Ifeelthings,thingsthatmakemeignorethethingsIshouldbedoing.
Soyes,I’vegonemadbutletmesaythis:myheartisthebestpartofmeanditwillalwayscalmthestormforallofthosewhoareafraidofalittlerain.
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HealingDrugs
Wesaytimewillhealeverything,buttimewillneverbeonourside.
Fortimehasonlytaughtusregretandregrethasalwaysbeenaterribledrug.
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EmptyRooms
Therearesomethingsthataremeanttovanishinaninstantandthentherearesomethingsthatwilltaketimetodissolve.
Anditisthesamewaywithpeople.Someofthemwilldisappearintotheair,whileotherswillslowlyburnoutofourlives.
Lifehasafunnywayofmakingusfeellessalone;becauseintheend,allthatremainsareemptyrooms.
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IDoNotFallEasy
Ican’trememberwhatitwaslikebeforeyou,andIdon’tevenknowhowwegotherebutmaybethat’sexactlywhatIneeded.
SomeonewhocouldmakemeforgetwhereIcamefromandsomeonewhocouldmakemelovewithoutknowinghowtofall.
Atall.
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UnderstandingMe
IcanfeelyouthroughyourlonelyeyesandIhopeonedayyou’llunderstandhoweverythingthathurtuswaseverythingthatmadeuswhoweare.
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UnlockedCages
Ifoundhellinmyheadandheaveninotherpeople;theycouldnevercollideatthesametime.AndwhentheydidIwasstillburninginthefire.
SometimesIfeellikemylifeisawildbeasttrappedinanunlockedcageanditisawfullyafraidofwhatliesontheotherside.
Thatiswhathellislike;havingsomethingviciouslybrilliantinsideofyou,butnotbelievinginitenoughtosetitfree.
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LiveDieLess
Lifehasbeentoorepetitive.Wearenonelikemachinesthanwearepeople.Weforgethowtofeel,appreciateandlove.
Wearecaughtupbythetemporary;distractedbynothing.Thereisnowanamongus,butthewarwithinourselves.Peoplefearbreakingtherules.Gooutthere;theairiswaitingforyou.
Learntolivealittle.Learntodiealotless.
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ItMustBeReal
sometimesyouchangethewayIfeel,andsometimesthewayIfeelisthedarkestplaceandsometimesthedarkestplaceistheonlyplacewherewecoulddiscoversomethingreal.
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TonightItIsUs
Allwehaveiseachotherbutwecarryourinsecuritieslikewearenotsurewherewebelong.
Sodonotlookback,comeasyouareandIpromiseyou;aftertonight,everythingwillbebeautiful.
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FreedomSense
Peoplehurtpeopleandthat’showitworks.Ifwedidn’thurteachothercouldyouimaginehowawfullyperfecttheworldwouldbe?Itwouldbeahorribleplace.
Sometimesthepainistheonlythingthatmakessensetothesoulandsometimesit’stheonlythingweneed;toexperiencethebeautifulfreedomwealldeserve.
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SlippingAir
Maybetherewassomethingoutthere,somethingthatunderstoodyouandforsomeoddreasonyouletitslipaway.
That’slifeandsometimesthat’slove.
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INeverLeftYou
Ihopeonedayyouwillrealizehowyouwereneveralone.BecauseyouwerehereonceandIhavealwaysbeenwithyouevenwhenyouwereoutsearchingforyourself.
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ScaryMovies
Lovewillneverbeeasyandknowingsoweacceptthehorrorsthatsometypesoflovearemeanttokillusonewayoranother.Toomuchortoolittleofitcanonlymeanwearelookingforsomekindoftrouble.
Sometimesloveisthatfuckedupmoviewhereeveryonediesintheend.
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BrokenHours
HereisonesimplefactIhavelearnedaboutpeople.Nooneeverstaysthesame.Somecome,somegoandsomeneverreturn.Sometake,somegiveandsomeonlydream.Somewanttobe,whileothersjustare.Somebegin,someendandsomejustneverstartatall.Somearebright,somearedimandsomearealwayswishingtheyweremore.
Itneverends.
Peoplearelikehours,theyarechangingallthetime.
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SheEatsThunder
Shewasthunderandhersmilewouldrattlemybones.Shecouldn’tpileherselftogetherbutIfellinlove,Ifellinlovewithallofher.
Shewasthedeathofme,thebeginningandtheend.AndIneverunderstoodher,forhowcouldsomeoneSobeautifulbethecauseofsomuchdestructionafterall.
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GhostlyMemories
Thereissomethingbeautifulaboutthepastandaboutthewayithauntsus.Thewaywepassthroughmomentslikewalkingthroughdoors.Thewayweshutsomeoutandthewaywewelcomesometostay.
Ourmemoriesareghosts,andtheywillalwaysremindusofallthethingswenolongerhave.
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EndlessRepeat
It’sterriblethewaywehurteachotherunconsciously,butIdon’tknowwhat’sworse,thefactthatwehurtcertainpeopleinourliveswithoutknowingorthefactthatwekeeponhurtingthesamepeople;theverysameway.
Sometimesourlivesaremadeupofthesamestorieswiththesamebeginningsandthesameendingsandthingshappenthesamewayalmosteverytime.
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TruthHurts
Myloveisnotaproductoftheworld,butaproductofallthepeopleIhavemet.
AndthrougheveryoneIhaveevercomeacross,Idiscoveredthatourdisconnectwasneverbecauseoftheinsecuritieswefelt,butrathertheemptinesswecreatedwhenwefailedtomakesenseofourselves.
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BloomAgain
Thereisnothinghereagain,butthereissomuchtofind.ForsometimesIfeellikeIhavelostitall:mindandsoul.AnditisonlygettinghardertotellthedifferencebetweenwhatIloveandwhatIdonotwhentheonlyflowerinmyheartiswantingtobloomagain.
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Reborn
Somepeopletrysohardtochangebutsometimesitdoesn’thappenthatway;wecannotforceit,ittakestime.Sometimesitjusthappensovernight,likeonedayitallmakessenseandjustlikethatyouchange.
Thatshouldbeinspiringtousall,thewayweareabletodieeverynight;onlytoberebornthenextdayfortherestofourlives.
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DefeatIsLove
MyDear,mylifehasbeenwelllivedontheedge,butwhenIfellitfeltlikeIwasfallingforathousandyears.AndwhenIgotupIfeltyoungagain,Ifeltaliveandwhatabeautifulthingitwas;tofeeldefeated.
WhereInolongerhadtofight,thewarwasoverandallthatwaslefttodowaslove.
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WhenWordsFail
Therearewaysofunderstandingpeoplethatdonotrequirewords,andifyoulookcloseenoughyouwillsee,alotoflifeandalittlebitofdeathburningthroughtheireyes.Andsometimesthatsaysmorethanwecouldeverexplainorimagineaboutourselves.
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ChangeYou,ChangeUs
Iwanttochangepeople.Iwantthemtolearnhowtofeeleachother.Howtoloseandfindthemselvesintheeyesofastranger.
Iwantthemalltofeelliketheyarenotalone,thatweareallinthistogetherandIhopethatneverchanges.
Imaginethat,whatabeautifulwaytolive,whatabeautifulwaytofeelandwhatabeautifulwaytosurvive.
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ThingsStrikeMe
Thereisnothingouthere...itisallinside;itisallinmyhead.ThethingsthathappendonotexistunlessIgivethemmeaning.Tobeabletodefineeverythingiswheremygreatestweaknesslies.TobeabletofeelisthemadnessIneedtomakesenseofthethingsthatstrikeme.Peoplestrikeme,lovestrikesmeandeverythingelsemovesmeinsuchawaythatIcouldbarelyunderstand.Ifeel,andeverythingIfeelisnothing;nothingbutanextensionofthemindandoftheheartIwasbornwith.
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StolenMagic
IhavebeentakingasmuchasIcanfromotherpeople:thewaytheyspoke;theirwordswouldfillme.Theirlook,theirstoryandthewaytheysaidgoodbye.ItooksomuchthatIwasnolongerhere,butratherIwaslostinallofthemandIknewthatIwouldneverbeabletofindmyselfagain.
YouseeIfeltsoempty;thatIwascollectingpeoplelikesouvenirsandIwasfillingmyselfwiththemagicIknewothershadtooffer.
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MadeMyself
ImademyselffromallthephotographsInevertook,fromalltheloveIneverreceivedandfromallthemomentsthatneverhappened.
Andithasbeentooreal,ithasbeenabeautifulstruggle;onethathasalwaysremindedmeofhoweasyitwastolaugh.
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DearCharise,Mayyourflamelivewithin
myheartandcontinuetoinspiremethrougheverywakinghour.
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WithopeneyesIseetheworld,withanopenheartIseethesouls
andwithanopenmindIseeitalldifferently.
Thankyouforyourtime.
RobertM.Drake
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Inmemoryof
GuillermoRodriguez06/25/1985-08/25/2014
Thelasttimewespokeyoutoldmeyouwereproudofme,andthatIwasyoubrothersincedayone.
Well...thisismetellingyouthatyou’remybrotherandImissyou.Seeyousoon.
Iwroteallofthesewordsforyou.
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FollowR.M.Drakeforexcerptsandupdates.
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