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Official AEI SponsorMember Engagement and Customer Service Track Sponsor
Stop Conflict in Its Tracks
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Stop Conflict in its Tracks!Using Conflict Management Styles
Carole Kaptur, SHRM-SCP, HCSDirector, Strategic Association Management
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*conflict – noun and verb
• Fight, battle, war – an armed conflict
• Competitive or opposing action of incompatibles: antagonistic state
or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons)
• Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs,
drives, wishes, or external or internal demands – His conscience was
in conflict with his duty
• To be different, opposed, or contradictory: to fail to be in
agreement or accord – His statement conflicts with the facts.
*Merriam-Webster.com
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85%
Experience some
type of conflict
29% experience
NEARLY
CONSTANT
conflict
12%Witness
conflict
within senior
team
49% Personality
clashes and egos
34% Workplace
stress
33% Heavy
workloads
27% Witnessed personal
attacks
25% Absence or
sickness9%
Projects fail
CPP, Inc. data
workplace conflict data
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conflict and performance
Low
PerformanceHigh
Performance
Negative
Outcomes
Project
Failure
High
Low
Status Quo FailureUnsafe & CostlyInnovation & Creativity
Low level of
conflict
High people
problem costs
Conflict
increases
Lower people
problem costs
Conflict
increases
People problem
costs increase
Conflict and
people problem
costs increase
dramatically
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negativity bias
coping response
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identify interests …
… not wants
… ask questions
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competing
compromising
accommodatingavoiding
collaborating
asse
rtiv
enes
s
cooperativeness
Thomas-Kilmann conflict styles
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competing
• “I win, you lose”
• Aggressive, autocratic, confrontational, intimidating
• Attempt to gain power and pressure a change at other person’s expense
• Advantages:
– When making an unpopular, critical, or urgent decision
– “standing up for your right”
– Letting others know this issue is that important to you
• Disadvantages:
– Relationships harmed beyond repair
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avoiding
• “I lose, you lose”
• Deliberately ignore or withdraw
• Hope problem goes away or resolve itself
• Advantages:
– When you need more time to think, time constraints at play
– Confrontation will hurt the relationship
• Disadvantages:
– You may be perceived as not caring
– Allows conflict to simmer and heat up, resulting in anger or
outburst
– Loss of trust & respect
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compromising
• “I win some, you win some”
• Willing to sacrifice some of your goals while persuading others to
sacrifice part of theirs
• Preserve relationships
• Advantages:
– Takes less time than collaboration
• Disadvantages:
– Easy way out
– Reduces creative options
– Overuse creates game playing
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collaborating
• “I win, you win”
• Find creative solutions that satisfy all parties
• Deep dive into issues to identify underlying concerns, test
assumptions and understand views of others
• Advantages:
– Fosters respect, trust, and builds relationships
• Disadvantages:
– Takes time and energy
– May not be worth it if relationships aren’t important
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accommodating
• “I lose, you win”
• Keep the peace
• Preserve relationships
• Advantages:
– When you are wrong or want to minimize losses – you’re going to lose anyway
– Preserve relationships
• Disadvantages:
– Unassertive accommodators can play role of martyr, complainer or saboteur
– Can result in a false solution
– Can become competitive when overused, “I’m nicer than you”
• Increased power imbalances
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identifying conflict styles
Joe is a member who serves on a committee. He is well liked and
respected. However, it seems that despite this, his well-reasoned on-
target ideas are rarely accepted by other members of the committee.
When another committee member, Brian, puts forth his ideas, he
tends to push harder and louder. Joe is a good listener who can
understand many points of view and realizes there is more than one
workable solution. Nevertheless, today Joe came to the end of his
rope and verbally lashed out at the committee.
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identifying conflict styles
You have just started as a new AE. After a few weeks, you notice the
president and president-elect show up every day and talk with all the staff
members. At first you thought they were just being helpful, but now you
notice that they are really barking orders at staff. They storm into your
office demanding to know why deadlines aren’t being met.
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identifying conflict styles
A member wants to attend a conference. This member attends every year
and always complains they never get into one of the preferred hotels.
Today, they are complaining loudly and viciously to your event
coordinator, telling her that she is incompetent in not making
appropriate arrangements for members. Your event coordinator is
getting visibly upset.
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identifying conflict styles
This year’s president is very demanding and has very high
expectations. The president is constantly calling you to
follow up on the status of your projects and never
understands why anything should take more than 20
minutes.
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identifying conflict styles
There’s one member who is never happy and has a very direct style.
When this member shows up at the door, everyone puts on full battle
gear in preparation. The member is never happy regardless of what is
done for them.
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identifying conflict styles
A member who is registered for a CE class shows up an hour late and is
insisting on being included in the class.
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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument
https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/catalog/thomas-kilmann-instrument-one-assessment-person
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Carole Kaptur, SHRM-SCP, HCS
Director, Human Resources Outreach
312-329-8311
Carole joined NAR with more than 20 years of experience in HR in both the private and public sector, including not-for-
profits. Carole’s strengths lie in balancing strategy with hands-on operations. She has experience in a variety of roles that
include recruitment, leadership development, organization effectiveness, training, performance management, change
management, employee relations, policy development, compliance, compensation, benefits administration, and succession
planning. Carole received her master's degree in human resources from Loyola University in Chicago. She also has a BA in
English from the University of Illinois at Chicago. She is a Senior Certified Professional with the Society for Human Resource
Management as well as a certified Human Capital Strategist.
Kelsi Dunn, MBA, SHRM-CP
Human Resources Representative
312-329-8518
Kelsi joined NAR with an MBA and a concentration in HR as well as a paralegal certificate from Roosevelt University. She
also has a BA in Journalism from Indiana University. Kelsi is a Certified Professional with the Society for Human Resource
Management. Her areas of expertise currently focus on recruitment, compensation analysis, and workforce planning. She
has assisted in strategic planning processes as well.
Strategic Association Management Consultants
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questions?