THE WASHINGTON HERALD SUNDAY JULY 28 1907l II>

AFFAIRS IN IRELAND

BY SEUMAS MACMANUS

II

Mount Charles County DonegalJuly 16 The first blow struck by

Mr Redmond In his new campaign hasbeen a crusher to himself T P OConnor it Is well known inspired the policyof contesting English boroughs in whichthere was Jt fair Irish vote Jarrow aNorthern English constituency has Justbeen contested and lost Lost also istho armpathy of the English Laborparty Jarrow was a labor constituencyThe Labor party put up for it againstthe Liberals an Irish Labor mag andHomeRuler Pete Curran a man much

teemed by English workingnten Herialunu y oroected the support of allIrish workingmen in the division AnIrish NatkmaHst had no chanceof winning putting up of onemight lose the constituency to the Laborman Alderman OHanlon of Jarrownevertheless was In a wildcat enterpriseput up and run by Mr Redmond TheLabor party which has been as strenuoushomerulers as the Irish party them-

selves were highly irritated AldermanOHanlon polled 2609 and odd votescoming at the bottom of the poll PeteCurran with 5009 votes headed the pollbeating both the Liberal candidate andby the skin of his teeth the ConservativeThe Labor party is perilously seer being estranged from home rule by MrRedmonds foolish and Impolitic play tothe gallery

After long and persistent effort on thepart of the Orange M Ps from Ufeter

have convent and monasteries open togovernment inspection Mr Corbett M

P succeeded lately In getting a firstrending In Paritement for a convent in-

spection bill Mr Corbetts bill proposesto appoint a commission of seven to In

quire into the property or income of mo-

nastic institutions and convents theirnumbers since ISO and respective situa-

tions and character and to determinewhat regulations are needed with respectto convents in Great Britain The com-

missioners it is suggested are to be ap-

pointed by the lord chancellor of Eng-

land the speaker of the House of Com-

mons the lord chief justice of Englandtwo by the Catholic poor schools commit-

tee one by the charity commissionersfor England and Wales and by thecommissioners in lunacy and they shouldhave lull powers to enforce the attend-ance of witnesses of examining them on

oath and of compeiltag the production ofdocuments and punishing persons guiltyof contempt-

A very fine sample of tbe stuff withwhich sympathetic English statesmenhave 30 long an l so wcressfnlljr cajoled

of our simptr Irish peoplegiven utterance to by ourcW f secretaryBirrejl In an after llnne peech on

Day Sir Wilfrid Laurler of Can-

ada being the guest of honor and Lorisrrathcona trying to till the chair

Speaking with deep emotion say thenewspapers Mr Birrell implored themI do beseech you in all your dreams ofempire great and glorious as thty aredont leave Ireland out of accountCheers Your dreams will be somewhat

of a sham in their realization if Ireland-is not taken into account in your hopesLoud applause If her sons with tn Hr

talent and genius which so eminently fitthem for serving the empire are

your dream will be incompleteAs my last word I would say Dontleave Ireland out Loud and prolongedcheers Mr Birrell too at tilts dinner propounded a new and final solutionfor Irelands woes It is the establishing-of a line between Canada

the County Mayo God help us Andwith such statesmen guiding our destinies people sUll wonder why Ireland

The doekers strike in Belfast is de-

veloping interestingly The carters of Belfast have gone out in sympathy and itis threatened that other trades bodieswill do likwlseDerry City dockers alsothreaten to show practical sympathy withtheir brothers in Belfast This is thefirst important trades union developmentIreland or at least the north of Irelandhas known The strike looks promisingfor the men seem gritty and sturdy OneOf the strangest and most promisingthings in connection with it is that it hassuddenly widened the outlook of theOrange workingmen of Belfast makingthem fraternize as they did not beforewith their Catholic brethren For thefirst time in a hundred years Britishtroops who were wont to receive abjectworship the other day hissed andstoned In the streets of most loyal Be-lfast Truly these be strange times

A London correspondent of an Irishpaper says that the estate of ButlersCourt at Beaeonsfield in Bucklnghamshire famous as the residence of Edmund Burke will be offered for salethis month The estate was bought by

great statesman from the Wailerfamily one of whose most noted mem-bers the poet of that name is likeBurke himself burled in the picturesquechurchyard at Beaconsfleld The estatewhich consists of about 309 acres willto some extent sink its interesting as-

sociations as it is to be split up intobuilding plots At present the estate isthe property of Lord Grenfell com-mander of the forces in Ireland

1 suppose the memory of Allenkin and OBrien the ManchesterMartyrs will live as long as does Irishpatriotism Mgr Gadd VicarGeneral-of Salford who attended the three menon the scaffold died the other day andis believed to have carried with him tothe grave a secret pertaining to thedeath of OBrien Mgr Gadd jumpedinto the pit after the bolt had beenopened and the ropes cut It was freelystated at the time thai he noticed signsof life in the body of Michael OBrienand that he had jumped in to assurehimself of this Whatever the causeFather Gadd as he then was leaned overthe body for some time and from themoment he came out of the pit untilhis dying day declined to say w at hehad observed or what had happenedWhen urged again and again to say ifOBrien were dead when cut down MgrGadd merely replied What happened isknown to God I did my duty as apriest

In the village of Dundrqm CountyDublin there awaits development atpresent the groundwork of a lucrativeIrish Industry known as the Dun EmerGuild Ltd and its manufactures consist of weaving bookbinding and enam-eling It is just four and a half yearsSince a beneficent Irish lady Miss

Gleeson giving practical effect toher sympathy with Irish Industry spent-a large sum in Installing In Dundrum-a weaving plant and In establishinga bookbinding and enameling industry-A number of young girls were initiatedinto carpetweaving and tapestry workand afterward secured internationalhonors After the firm carried off asilver medal at Milan International Ex-hibition for a pjece of carpet woven In

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Irish wool rom a adapted froma plate In the of Kells a gooddeal of attention was directed towardthe modest handloom In Dundrum Thesociety makes it A feature to manufacture material that might be suitable forchurch and altar purposes The tapestrywork is carried on under the superinten-dence of Miss Mny Kerley an exceed-ingly clever Dundalk lady who for aconsiderable time vas engaged by theCongested Districts Board in connec-tion with the now derelict carpetweaving industries of the Southwest of Ireland

Ireland famous in faroff times forits woods is now one of tho baldest ofcountries Groat efforts are being madein recent years to have the country re-

forested A treeplanting week So

nits Crann has been istituted by the Gaelic League and kindredorganizations and it is hoped that ourpeople will gradually get the treeplantlog habit Forests in Ireland wouldmean much to Irish climate Irish soiland Irish finances as well The VeryRev Father Paul O S F Q in theFather Mathew Hall this week lectured-on the possibilities of the Irish timberIndustry Were it taken up In properfashion by the people It might he saidgive employment to 20000 Thve werenow 2000000 acres In Irelandabsolutely no return and he compafbd

this with other countries where similarland was under trees If treeplanting-In Ireland were judiciously taken up-

S a week might be earned by some20003 persons for several years Afterfifteen yeare a return of about 100 anacre would be yielded About 51i000000would plant all the waste lands of

A moderate degree of forestrywould promote both agriculture andmanufactures and would have a mostvaluable effect on the climate

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RBRIGHTBRBEZYBELLICOSEBDSTLIK

THE BINGVILLE BUGLE

Hew t6e bull little btt-lajprere neb xttiRlng hour

By gathering JMHIJ all the dayFrem ererr ojufilnz

The cbwprst adTertlslDn medium In thernnti7 If y n believe In Advertising comeand we H F r further call enor address the

For some time past It has been onour mind to give the trusts of this coun-

try a bitter arrainment by of ared hot editorial in this comm and wenow take our pen in hand to do so

For the benefit our more ignoruntreaders who dont know what a trust iswe will explain When several men getstogether for instants and buys up allthe hogs there be in the country andthen boosts up the price of spareribsand sawsidge to such a extent that thecommon people haft to pay several timeswhat its worth for it or go withoutis called a trust Most all trusts are

trusts for that matter because aanus acts the hog when it gets

half a chanceTrusts is more common in this coun-

try than they was several years ago Wecan remember when there was no sucha thing as a trust in our midst but thattime is now only a sacred memoryTake the Standard Oil Trust whichJohn Rockefeller got up for instantsJohn he has a corner on about all thelamp oil there is in the world if wecan believe what we hear and chargesfor it whatever he blamed pleases pergal Even Hen Weathersby prop ofour general and only store has to buyhis kerosene of John We dont knowwhat Hen has to pay wholesale for hiso l being as that aint none of our business but we know what we haft to payHen for it 23 cts per which issome of our business What is the re-

sult The people of Bingville and vicinitty is paying about twice as much forlamp oil as the truck is worth By thetime John and Hen gettheir profits lampoil becomes almost a luxury as youmight say and consequently it is cheap-er to burn taller candles than to burnlamp oil Only the rich can afford toburn lamp oil as it were Taller candles dont give quite as much light aslamp oil does but they give a allfiredsight more light for the money Hencould sell more lamp oil if it wasntfor the oil trust Hen might probablysell a barl of lamp oil in a year if theprice was within reach of as itis has had a barl on hand for threeyears and its half full as yet

We are not afeard to come right outand denounce trusts in this manner Ithas always been the policy of the Bugle-to denounce anything that is detrimentalto the wedont own no stock in the trusts andhave no other valid reasons for not de-

nouncing them We understand that theStandard Oil Trust has paid large sumsof money to the editors of certain newspapers to have them keep their mouthsshet and not say anything against thetrusts

As for us we have never receivedany such a proposition from Rockefelleralthough we go to the P 0 every day

our mail Of course if weshould get such a proposition we wouldconsider it

Wbrat do we care if this editorial doesthe business of the trusts in this

coirtry We reply Nothing On thecontrary we hope it will injure them

that when the big trustread these lines they will cringe

heir boots and that their conscienceswill DID them po that they will resolve

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FRENCHMEN At GOLF

Some Idiosyncrasies They Have Ip-

trodnccd Into GameThe golfing Frenchman was once a

very rare bird today the species Is quitecommon courses are springlnng up all-over France not merely in the places trequonted by the English and Americansbut In industrial centers such as Bordonux and Lillo sayS tho Pall Mall Gazette

Parisian golf was really born at MatsonLafitte whore Is a race course with acolony of Britons then It migrated to liePecq Every French seaside place thatrespects itsef has a golf course nowadays It Is iold to be the surest way ofattracting the AngloSaxon One

In tact what middleaged masculinity did with Itself before golf was suc-cessfully implanted In England Cycling-Is deadly monotonous as an exercise sincethere are geographical reasonscannot coast forever and motoringhad hardlybeen invented How did mankill time when he was not working

The Frenchman In pregolf days hadand hag other relaxations He is fondof promenading with his women folk es-

pecially if they are goodlooking ho willdance attendance for hours and has beenknown even to take to shopping whereasno Englishman of middle Ilfd with an in-

clination to bajdness would ever dare toconfess that he found relaxation fromoffice cares in watching his wife buy chif-fons

The Frenchman has brought some ofhis idiosyncrasies into tho gam ofcourse He cannot entirely separate himself from the fair sex during tho twohours that it takes him to do his eighteenholes and so you see him in immaculatecostume with beautiful stockings andmarvelously striped knickerbockers sur-rounded by a little bevy of ladles whoare happily unconscious that he is play-ing a shocking game and foozling hisdrive every time To those sweet creatures in summer white and hats llk aflower garden all these things ore fearfulmysterlee almost beyond the comprehen-sion of any one but a veryand a suffragette All they know is thatHenri is looking very chic and dis-tinguished and tres Anglais This lat-ter comment is added because since thewaiters have grown mustaches Henri hasrealized the secret ambition of his lifeand chopped We off

Yes when you see a parasol on thegreen bo sure a Frenchman Is near

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their little shrunkup hearts to reform and lead better lives We believein free speech free press and freelunch but we dont believe in free ad-vertising nor free sample copies nortrusts Let the trusts beware of usl

LocalsHex Andrews while cutting hay with a

scythe in his hayfield back of his housetother day axldentally almost stoppedon a Ibacksnake seven feet long This sounnerved Hez that he dropped the scytheand made for home and is so weak inthe legs that he aint been able to cutany hay since

Hen Weathersby prop o our generalstore says that trade Is very dull withhim at present But Hen says he dontcare much being as ho likes to take iteasy during the hot summer weather anddont like to be annoyed by having towait on customers When a person goesInto the store to purchase anythingthey usually find Hen asleep on somebolts of muslin on the counter Hen saysIf folks dont stop waking him up hesgoing to lock the door on em

Our correspondent from Calamity Cor-ners who signs hisselt Pro Bono Publico In Bugle paid us a lengthy calllast Tuesday Pro Bono says thateverything at the Corners Is m stato quoas you might say

Jed Peters our Intelligent school teach-er who teached the village school last

Is at present studying up to taketho teachers examination at the Co seatnext month and if he passes successfulthere is no doubt Jed will be reelectedto teach again the coming term Jed isa good writer and reader and speller andhe aint so slow at flggers either

Hoke Smiley Is thinking some of havinglightning rods put onto his barn to avoidhaving it struck by lightning duringthunder showers Hoke says Its thethunder that skeers him and not thelightning

Subscribe for the Bugle It Is good toread good to liSvertlse In fine to lay oncupboard shelves or put under carpetuseful to wrap up things In or to buildfires with Subscribe at once

PersonalsThe weather in Bingville at present I

very hot and business is almost at astandstill as you might say especiallyIn the heat of the day Day before yes-

terday we walked down to the P 0 aboutnoon and the only person we met was ahound dog

You may know Its turrible hot weatherwhen Letitla Jones of Sorrow Hollowstarted for Blng last Saturday with11 Lb8 of butter in a basket to exchangefor groceries at Hen Weathcrabys storeand that when she arrived at the storethe butter had all melted and run outenthe basket and bad likely trickled alongthe road all the way from Sorrow Hollow Letitia returned home In disgust

The Blngvfllo church still leaksawful in one spot right over the

Amen corner Last Sunday It raineding services and Deacon Butterworthwho was asleep got EO wet beforewoke up that he had to go home andchange his clothing thus missing tho latter porshlon of the sermon as well anthe first porshlon

Brad Kinsleys brood mare was seizedwith the cock tha other night and Bradwent and got Doc Bivermore and toldhim that Alvira was sick and Dochurried home with Brad and was surprised to find the sick instid ofBrads wife Doc never Imewed that themares name was AlviraI Arioch Tucker has took off his bootsand Is going in his bare feet This maybe comfortable but how does it look fora growed up man to go around In hisbare feet

Mrs Bill lepburn wife of our talentedand artlstlck blacksmith gave birth to abouncing baby boy last week and anounces that she is going to raise himon the Editorially speaking wodo not think this is a good plan BillHepburn hisself was raised largely onthe bottle and look at him Bill aintmissed going ib the Co seat and coming home full every Satterday for thepast fifteen years as regular as Satterdaycomes It wascircumstances not under his control Ifwe was Hepburn we wouldnt raisethat child on the bottle The chance isit will take to the bottle soon as Itgits old enough without being teachedIt will probably come oy Its appetite for

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HERE IS REFORMERS PICTURE

Youthful Editor Publishes list o

Sunday Drunks

From Nebo 111 He cnilsIn Response io an Editorial-

in The Washington Herald

The following editorial appeared InThe Washington Herald July 18 under

Photo-graph

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Mr R T Dlnamorelie describe himself as The Wttdeyed sad Loose

tongued Editor of the Ncbo 1H BaRBer

lItre Is the photograph faMi Tbe WaMqgt raHerald did not expect to rreete when it ptMisfccdthe editorial referred to but wbkn it is Mfer-thefess Tory gld Meed to present to it renders

the caption A New Journalistic Re-form

Tkfe I Indeed Ute day of Fromthe MM tattfe ship tile Pads tothe triertkm of the most btttdCpi weana in dash

the KWf4of taLusts

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Country correspondenceSL-

AB CITYMrs Jemima Peppers of Hickory Cor

ners spent two days last week visitingMrs Phoebe Hinds of this place Jeminis would of remained longer but thetwo wimmefl bad a falling out aboutsomething and Jnrnlma went home muchto her own disgust and to Phoebes relief

Jasper Tarbell had his hay all cut twoweeks ago but owing to so much Wetweather it aint dried out yet and stilllies in the field Jasp says if the sundont shine out pretty soon he calkllatcsthe hay will ret and be ttselcssv

Arioch Wilkins killed a beet critter lastweek and peddled it out from house tohouse It IB quite a luxury to gel beefIn the summer time

Hester Jones who was wldderedjipmpyears ago had had some new clothesmade and it Is rumored she will be mar-ried soon We dont blame her It la noidle Joke being a widder

Jabe Homans who lives near hero ar-rived home late tether cg and seeingwhat he thought was a cat on the frontpiazzer kicked it off but it wasnt acat lt was a skunk and since then Jabeand his folks cant scairsley live in their

VOX POPULI

One of Hams Wilsons yoke of oxesbroke Into his orcnani last week and etgreen apples until it foundered and nearly

Hame says this ought to teacha lesson to pause in eating green

when it has had enoughGibbs ground his axe last week

BenJ says it has needed grinding for thepast two years but he has been so drirup with work that he couldnt find timebefore to do It before

Mary Ann Green the boll of Happy Valley come out test Sunday In a newlawn dress that became her very muchexciting the admiration of all our youngmen Fine feathers make flneblrds

LANDS ENDBill Henahaw swopped horses with Sam

WIlkins last week Both men claim theywas cheated

Rule Atkins has been offered a luposishion at Hardscrabble as asin a livery stable there at 3 perRule has not decided whether he

it orMrs Hen making soft

soap last week had the kettle to upsetspilling all the soap on the groundShortly afterward It tho yardwas full of suds X

News items Is very scarce In our midstat We hope to have more to

next week LUCIFER

Hod Digging His Well

Hod Slocomb has resumed digging hiswell again after a lapse of a year Hodleft off work on it about a year ago thismonth and owing to other Importantwork has not touched It since It hasbeen five years since Hod begin to digthis well and a person would nacherlythink Hod would have It finished by thistime But them as are acquainted withHod knows that he allus takes his timeabout things od says he needs wateron his place bad but thats noreason why hos agoing to hurry andsweat hisself all up and not half do theJob Ho says ho has got along BO farby carrying water from his neighbors andhe persoomes he can continue to do sofor awhile longer if he has to

Profit by Hens Expe-

rienceHen Billings went and had his

shaved off and his hair cutHines our tonsorial artirt lest week andas a result Hpn haf contracted what Isprobably the worst cold he ever had inlife Hen is all stopped up In his headand cant taste anything nor hear muchhe cant hear very well when he aint

got a cold being as he Is some deef andhas a bad cough and Is very miserableHen is afeard the cold will settle on his

and give him newmonya or conor something like that He

has took a oath that If he recoversthis cold and to be a well manhe will Lie hair cut nor hiswhiskers shaved off again as long as helives no matter what the style Is

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city Ultra b no held of endearor ID which thehand of the v rtodate editor to say nothing ofhi business manager is not in evidence Newspa-

P9 whleh are constantly on the lookout for newworlds to conquer and new to reform arethe which keep at the hind of prooesssioaof and because of this we and nowpredict that whaterer competitors may exist In the

of the Nebo till Banner wilt noon bearound tjie bankruptcy courts Thus the

Banner in a recent IssueA new feature is instructive as well as

entertaining is to to the A listof names under the heed Sunday cill bepublished We are going to pre fair warning aj4in the leone of the Banner on July 13 yen can leolt-OTCT the list no one excluded

We do not understand why some of the metro-politan papers which arc eternally on iu lockoutfor something should not hare hit upon thisscheme long ago Think hew much attention tillsnew department in the Neto Banner will attractJust fancy the scene in Nebo tomorrow when theBanners palpitating presses begin to reel oil theedition fov the day There say be more popularmen m Nebo than the Banners sitter but carUiinly there will be none sought after Thenew departure is obrfcusly intended to lessen theevils of intemperance and perhaps it will We donot feel qualified to express an opfaisa on thatpoint BnU we do teeters the opinion that theBanner office will be the Mecca of i large portionof Xebos population tomorrow and tbfa will ba-

desSniW ef coarse if there k SHjUiing ia thetheory of merchants it k oni Mceswry taget people into a indvce them to do bullWM

We that the Banners suitor will be anteto tmder the oompttwentt ndfame other things whieh will be showered on binIf he will at amos mail na one of hk pbotcgrapbs-wa will gladly pwbHafe it aa sbowing bow be apreared before tie entered upon the strenuousof the newspaper reformer Our renders aay im-agine for tnemseires bow be wilt took after tomornw f

Last week the following selfexplanatory communication was received

Noise III July 21 1067Editor Tbe WatWngiaw HeraJ-

dInclosed find photograph referred toin issue of Herald of 18th under heading A New Reform I have survived the outcome so

farAm twentyone years old elevenyears 1 newspaper harness five yearsin present and will try and keepup the record

Send marked copies Respectfullyn T DIHSMORB-

Owaec Editor sad PaMtsber the Neto Orant-

rIlEFOIUIERS

Aaeat reformers sad tMr UndA ear sew is be I

Who has a mtsaaBt fir the wieldAnd senfc X C 0 D

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Ben Hot Under CollarBen Wade of Snake Bend called at the

Bugle office recently to inquire why lastweeks Bugle did not reach him Benwas purty hot under the collar aIM talkedin a loud tone of that all theneighbors heard and that when hesubscribed for a paper he expected toreceive It reglar or words to that effeckt We told Ben that we did notknow the reason why his Bugle didntreach him unless it was lost somewherein transmishlon We to Impress-on him that after we and put-

a wrapper on his Bugld and then wrotehis name on the wrapper in a plainhand we had did our duty and angelscould do no more and if his Bugle failed to reach him after that then Itour fault We also told Ben wedidnt know the reason why since he has

a reglar subscriber for the Buglepast 11 years he had never paid

us a red cent either and he went awaythreatening to stop his paper Verywell let him stop it If ho does wa mayhave something further to say about hispast In later copies of the

Ranse Got Stuck Up

Hen Weathersby our populargot out his stock of flypaper last

week and dusted It off for the summertrade He left a laying on a chairand about noon It got thawed outnicely Ranse Hillyer come Into the storeSand like a blamed fool set right down onit Ranse never does look where he setsand it would be better if he did Ransegot some of the flypaper off but themost of It i sticking to his pants as yetHen wanted to charge Ranse for thesheet He told Ranse that the regularprice of the flypaper was 10 cts persheet but being as it was him he wouldlet him have It for 5 cts Ransehe already had the flypaper andwant It and hed be goshed to hemlock-if hed pay for It either Hen ought tobe more careful where he leaves fly-paper laying around

Tramped Up by a Cow

Wat Osgood had a curious experientslast week Wat has four nws which hemilks reglar twice a day Well thoother evg Wat went out to milk andhe had three of the cows leavingold the last being as she Isslch an ornery critter and usually kicksthe bucket over While Wat was milk-ing her she histed and comeher foot right on Wats foot Itthere and him hollering and yelling forhelp as loud as he could holier andpounding her with his fists andto push her offen him but Watmerely stood with almost superhuman intelligence as it were on hisfoot peacefully chewing her cud andswitching off the flies As old Brindleweighs probably 900 Ibs Wats feelingscan bettor be ImaginedAfter she had stood on for twoor three mlnnlts she got off and Watlimped to the house He now says heis agoing to sell that cow and If cantdo that ho will give her away

Dull in Docs Line

Doe Livermore our human epeshlallsthorse doctor says there Is not as much

sickness In our midst at present as hecould wish for but that he hopes thatbusiness will pick up some in tho near

Doe says that heretofore duringweather there has usually been

several cases In and about Bingville ofprominent citizens and others being overcome by the heat which has give him con-siderable to do but that this year isan excepshion If our editorial memoryserves us correctly we dont tohave any recollecshlon of Bingville folksbeing overcome with the heat in the past

it must of been something else thatDoc referred to Shade is too much Indemand among Bingvilllans for them toever be overcome by the heat

In Bingville Is almost as skeerceas hydcrofobla

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WOMAN ABOUT

WHAT SHE HEARS AND SEES

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iYe lawmakers f Texas

So fearless wise and strongWho bard decreed tint stieeta pmst to-

N loos then nine feet bug

VhrT Te you stepped as if there wereKe mere fr j to d

AVter you shirked the other4 Twt still 5 up to jwiT-

Tfeiek hew the husband of the landW W all aftpfcwwi the stoat

If jwtd decree stout waists mustbuttoned

A young physician here in town hasboon explaining to me his theory of thatcurious lack of presence of mind whichmakes a steamers captain rufr his vesselint an avoidable collision or makes anyother man give the wrong command Inan He believes the young

that its unjust to saysuch a man has lost his head What hehas lost is control of the word center inhis brain and ho is the victim of a sud-

den attack of aphasl trust Im notgoing too far wrong in my scientific ter-minology

It is noi ttncommon to fled a patientwho uses the wrong word when he hasnervous headache says the physician-I have one woman patient a musician

who for a was unable to read a noteof music Speech was the last facultymankind developed and we dont understand the mechanism of it perfectly yetIts commonly observed that a man sud-denly frightened will give an inarticulateyelL or will be stricken dumb I believethat other men get what one may callworddeaf I remember sailing in a yachtrace once and we rammed another boatbecause the skipper ordered port whenstarboard was the proper order He In-

sisted he said starboard but I heard himand I know he didnt Ho meant to sayIt he thought It but his brain wires were

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Calf LostHiram Woodruff has cow to come in

fresh on him last week and no7f theblamed cow has went and hid her ralfaway and Hiram can find it

he is accordingly a good eal srrmtup over the occurence The cow Isloose in a large tract of timbered madand where she Is Is a mystery to Hodalthough the cow has come to the bunonce or twice and Hod has tried to totler her back to her calf but she Is toesmart for him Hod says it Is a awfulcalamitty t have a fresh cow and thenhave a calf concealed somers to take allher milk from her Anyone happening tofind come acrost this calf kindly letHiram know of its whereabouts and thefinder will le liberally thanked

GETU-

p by rnosk eter and flies and cats andradius kinds Whats tbe use of letting

all kinds of Insecktg Into your boaw when youolin keep them out just ng well as sot

hotHAVE A

LOT OF

J CN DISPLAY UThese winder screens all first class goods

which I ordered t o years ago and didnt haveno call for and which has been In the stuck ofmy store all winter

But I got them out lather day

and dusted them off

And now I offer them to tbe pnblic whoawfnl bit np by others which isthicker than hops In a hop patch

is a

ornery Critter

Who will take advantage of a person wheneverbe can but a will not take adrantaga of you If

You have some of my

in your

Tiese screens Is made to fit winder 13they out fit bring them back and I will makethem fit or bust them all to thunder The riskIs all mine

I will guarantee yen will hare Uyon buy your window screens of nw

There aint no tnuskeeterIn ilngvlLLe can get

through one ofmy screensA-

nd I defy you to prove ItCall and SM time Screens to Ont

because as soon as the PublIck Know

Hm then on hands they will go like HOT

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crossed owing to a sudden shock ifithe word came out port I believe thathappens more often than is generally be-

lieved Im confident that many ah accident at sea happens because the skip-pers brain wires dont transmit his mes-sage as he starts it and not because hodoesnt know and think the right thing

do

Women are queer arent they saidthe young husband with an air of an-nouncing original discovery Theresmy wife now She hates to mend things

Just naturally loathes itand half thetime I cant find a sock that hasnt a boleIn it If I mention It to her Miss allcontrition and declares shell put In allday tomorrow mending Then she for-

gets But Ive studied out plan to keepmy socks in rfepair I go Into her roomand If say

Wheres the wastg basketf course she always asks what I

want of the waste basket before she tellsme whore it te

Oh I say these seeks are worn outand I want to throw them away

Does she point m to the waste basketNot she She says

Lot me look at themI hand them over and she examines

themWhythese socles need only a little

mending she says The kiss of throwingthem away just because theres a littlebole in the heel I never knew such an

manAnd then site flies to work to mend

them They might be hi the drawer forweeks and shed overtook them but justlet me threaten to throw them away andshes Mamte on the job with a needle be-fore you can Wink Fanny things womenarent they

They have a brutal way about them inNew York that makes gentle Washing-ton blood run cold Just the other day Ipicked up a New York paper and glancedat the advertisements One of the hos-

pitals desired to employ rnanglers andbody Ironera It does seem to me thatthey might have put it more delicatelyThe last line advised me that the manglers and body froners were wanted in thelaundry but that was the merest subterfuge If I have to go to a hospital Illsteer clear of New York I might thinkof a mangler without shuddering but Icouldnt rest for a moment with a bodyironer on the

odd how the friendships of ouryouth grow more Intimate in the retro-spect Isnt says a midleagedwoman When I recall ydung peo-

ple I knew twenty years ago I think ofthem all by their first names They allseem to have been churns of mine Justyesterday a man hadnt for fifteenyears came to see me and we talkedabout the little town in Ohio where wewent to school at the academy We talkedof Jennie This and Joe That and I calledhim Jim and he caltad me Sue We enjoyedthe afternoon immensely After he hadgone I got out box of old letters Twoor three were notes from him and theybegan Dear Miss Blank We were veryformal all of ua at the academy It wasalways Mr and Miss Yesterday wasthe first I ever called him Jim Wethink we ueed to be great friends Imnot sure he doesnt fancy h was oncerather In love with me but we were sim-ply classmates I didnt know how oldIm getting till I realized how wtd en-

joyed cur talk I should hare frozen himIf hed called me Sue fifteen agobut now it seems mighty nice to haveanybody call me by my first name

He went about with May a good dealat the Springs said the woman with thechopsuey sundae but he didnt tell memuch about her lies very laconic

The woman with the Nesselrode pud-ding shook her head

Thats the worst kind she said withconviction Mays husband ought to awent with her I knew a case thatonce and they finally eloped I never didbelieve in these laconic friendships

Im not disputing that virtue is itsown reward says a Colorado man whcwas here last week Everybody knowsthat It is A man ought to be contentwith the approval of his conscience andnot care if the other fellow did makethe money Ive been trying to convincemyself of that for several years butevery now and then I fall oft my ped-estal and my halo chafes my head 1was new to Colorado in the days of theCripple Creek boom and I got the feverlike everybody else Three friends ofmine myself went into the miningbusiness We didnt get up a companyand sell a billion or so shares No sfreeWe were honest we were We got amining claim and began to digwent in about 200 feet in the side of ahill A perfectly unscrupulous gang owned the claim next us They got out aprospectus and advertised and sold stockand made no end of money before theybegan to dig at all We wore abovesuch things All we wanted was anhonest ten or twenty millions in metalAs I said we went 3M feet andup agaipst a wall of grariite and thatended the thing All we got for ourmoney and our trouble was a hole 204feet long The gang next us went inseventyfive feet and struck a ftssurevein They actually made good everything theyd promised their advertise-ment It was Just a case of a wildcat

getting its claws into thegold The stock wasnt worth the paperIt was printed on when they beganbut whats the use of talking Theymade money out of their stocksclllnqand then out of their mine We didntmake a cent Anyway we didnt try todeceive anybody

Bicycle Coffee GrinderDedham Correspondence BSsten GI fe

The old adage that hood shouldeave the heels has been transformed bythe Mahern brothers Frank and Fredemployed at a Dedham grocery so thatthe legs are made to save the arms andthat in a most unique manner

It Is a method Jf running a coffee millby leg power on a bicycle Instead of byarm power One of the disagreeable features of the grocery business has beenthe arm method of grinding coffee

Now this Is just where the quick witof Frank JIahern In A devotee olthe wheel and knowing that it Is mucheasier to pedal than to strain with tharms he conceived the Idea that a trans-fer of the strain from arms to lags wouldbe much easier and quicker

The question was one or applying thepower to the coffee mill which was doneby removing the forward wheel of a tandem and fastening the bicycle In such away that the rear wheel was directly op-posite one of the wheels 4 f the coffeemill which was fitted witha belt wheel

The tire was removed from the bicyclewheel and a belt put on running fromthe wheel to the belt wheel on the coffee

arrangement was then completeand when there is coffee to be ground ItIs thrown Into the grinder the bicycle lamounted and the rider takes a practicespin and at the same time grinds Uucoffee

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