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Birth & Beyond Conference • October 3 2014 • London, ON
Andy Inkster, MAHealth Promoter
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
Toronto
333 Sherbourne Street, Toronto, Ontario M5A 2S5 • (416) 324-4100 ext. 5276 • [email protected]
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What does it mean to be an LGBTQ
Positive Professional?
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Workshop Description
An interactive workshop exploring what it means to make services
welcoming and accessible to LGBTQ people and their
families. We’ll talk about the history and social context of LGBTQ
parenting, and some of the commonly-held negative ideas about
LGBTQ people raising children.
We’ll share findings from recent research on LGBTQ parenting,
including people’s experiences with service providers, and reflect on
personal and organizational beliefs and practices that help or hinder
LGBTQ inclusivity.
Come join us for an enlightening and practical workshop. Bring your
questions!
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Agenda
Labels & words
What does it mean to be an LGBTQ positive
professional?
Strategies at the individual and institutional level
Homework
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In focus groups, people said:
We want information and support in order to
create families.
We want connection for ourselves and our
children with other LGBT families, opportunities
to hang out, socialize and to talk with others
about important issues.
We are worried about our kids’ experiences in
schools.
How do we find queer positive professionals?
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What does it mean to be an
LGBTQ positive professional?
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The Nuclear Family
Heterosexual married monogamous couple
Children genetically related to the parents
Man earns the money
Woman – caretaker
All of these roles are natural
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LGBTQ families challenge the
conventional nuclear family:
People often parent children they are not biologically related to
Sometimes more than two parents
Challenge the gendered division of labour
May be more likely to form single parent by choice households
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How do you welcome
diversity in families?
Reflection #1
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Sex
FemaleMale
Intersex
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GenderGirl
Man
Androgynous
FeminineMasculine
Fabulous!
Woman
Boy
Trans Cis
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Sexuality
Lesbian Bisexual
Homosexual Heterosexual
Fantabulous!
AsexualStraight Pansexual
Gay
Monogamous Polyamorous
Queer
Monosexual
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Sexuality and gender are flexible
Identity and behaviour don’t always match
What are all these new words?
Ask:
Labels are tricky
• How would you describe your
sexuality and gender?
• Who is in your family?
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Homophobia
Physical & verbal violence
Legal & social persecution
Stereotypes
Fear of gay people.
Hatred toward gay people.
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Biphobia
Physical & verbal violence
Legal & social persecution
Stereotypes
Fear of bi people.
Hatred toward bi people.
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Transphobia
Physical & verbal violence
Legal & social persecution
Stereotypes
Fear of trans people.
Hatred toward trans people.
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Heterosexism
Everyone should be heterosexual.
The assumption that everyone is
heterosexual.
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Monosexism
Everyone should be monosexual.
The assumption that everyone is
monosexual.
Monosexual:
Having only
one sexual
attraction
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Cissexism
Everyone should be cisgender.
The assumption that everyone is
cisgender.
Cisgender:
not trans
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Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia
Explicit, overt – bold
Heterosexism, Monosexism, Cissexism
Implicit, assumed - sneaky
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Homophobia
“She (birth mother) had a post partum hemorrhage after he was born. That was terrible. I had to drive her down to the hospital, and then I couldn’t park the car so I let her off and went running all over the place trying to find a parking space. I arrived and told them who I was and everything. They were laughing and nudging each other and they wouldn’t let me go in. I had to sit out there for an hour and I didn’t know whether she was O.K. or bleeding to death.”
(Lorraine, 1995)
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Heterosexism
We’re in the hospital, and they give us the wrist bands…
and the wrist band says ‘mother,’ and the other one
says ‘father,’right on the wristband.
…couldn’t you just give us two‘mother’ones, is that
going to confuse everybody too much?”
Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006
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What impact does heterosexism
have on your practice?
Reflection #2
Two babies!
Two moms.
and a Dad.
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Who’s in a family?
The twins were born by c-section.
The hospital policy is
only one support person
can be in the OR.
The parents all wish to attend the birth of their babies.
How can you facilitate this with the hospital staff?
Impact
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What impact does cissexism have
on your practice?
Reflection #3
Kelly is 18 weeks
and just starting to
show.
Sarah is very excited
that her husband is
pregnant.
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Do you work with trans people?
27% of trans people in
Ontario are parents
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Do you work with parents?
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Childbirth Preparation
At your prenatal class, you separate the moms and the dads into two groups for some exercises.
What challenges might each of these families experience?
Two moms
Two dads and gestational carrier (surrogate)
Single parent with four friends
Trans man and his wife
Impact
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Individual Strategies
Educate yourself
Rainbow Health Ontario
Mount Sinai (Toronto) –
Be an Ally! Campaign
Ally yourself with LGBTQ people
Challenge homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic
jokes
Find heterosexism, monosexism, and cissexism
and correct it
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LGBTQ clients may look for cues that services are LGBTQ positive.
These might include positive space imagery or posters and brochures depicting LGBTQ families.
Individual service providers can provide cues that they are open to LGBTQ families through choice of gender-neutral language, and attention to the ways that questions are posed.
Drop a hint…
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Language
“It was, ‘you and your husband, you and your
husband.’ Well, there are single people here;
there are people who aren’t married.
She’d keep correcting herself after the fact –
‘I mean partner, whatever.’
No, it’s not whatever.”
Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006
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Talking with Clients Ask open-ended questions
Use the same words as the client to
describe self, sexual partners,
relationships and identity
Use gender-neutral language such as
“partner(s)” or “significant other(s)”
If you make a mistake,
apologize and move on
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Advocating with other
professionals
Send information ahead with your referral
Follow up with clients – how was that ultrasound clinic?
Chart:
What will does the
care team need to know?
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Whose comfort?
“Every time I'm in a health situation, they'll always ask, would you like your husband to come in, and I'll just say no, my “friend” is here…I'm hesitant to create a situation where I think there's going to be discomfort because
it makes me uncomfortable when they get uncomfortable”
MOMs participant
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Organizational Change Review your organization’s strengths and
challenges
Are there staff, colleagues or community groups
who can support you?
Can you form a committee?
Should LGBTQ equity be integrated into broader
equity initiatives or approached separately?
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Management Critically examine programs and services
Are your programs meeting the needs of
LGBTQ people?
Ensure that staff are trained and evaluated
Promote increased inclusion of LGBTQ people
at all levels of the organization
Celebrate LGBTQ clients, staff and volunteers
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Organizations can: Name sexual orientation and gender identity explicitly in
agency anti-discrimination and equity statements
Act to prevent and react to homophobic, biphobic, and
transphobic incidents.
Include LGBTQ knowledge in advertising, qualifications
and interviews when recruiting staff and volunteers
Recognize public events (Pride, International Day against
Homophobia, Trans Day of Remembrance)
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Organizational Change:
Set targets, review progress, modify strategies, address problems
Look for allies and supports from LGBTQ communities to help keep the momentum
Develop and deepen relationships with LGBTQ people and communities
Look for connections between different issues and types of oppression
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Signs
There’s a sign at the ultrasound office:
Fathers to be:
if this is a pregnancy ultrasound
fathers must wait in the waiting room
You know, it’s exclusionary,
it’s not necessary,
it’s just a question of somebody
thinking to put the language the right way,
it doesn’t have to exclude different kinds of families.
MOMs participant
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Communications
Language can be excluding, neutral or
inclusive This group is for new moms and dads…
This group is for new parents….
This group is for new parents from all kinds of
families…
Photos, and graphics in brochures, on
website, and at choice of art, posters
and community information
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Forms
…when it says “father” and “mother”, and we have to cross it out and write “mother”
I hate that. It should be like parent or guardian one and parent or guardian two. It’s really oppressive, every time having to cross it out … even at my school which was very progressive, a very awesome school, but even they had forms that said “mother” and “father.” It’s just annoying … it’s like straight until proven otherwise.
(child of lesbian moms)
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Clinic space?Client records? Posters?
Health promotion materials?
Forms?
Language?
Information? Washrooms?
How is your care
gendered?
Homework # 1
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ALLY yourself with
LGBTQ people
Homework # 2
• Videos
• Resources
• Tools
• E-learning modules
Developed for health care providers
http://www.mountsinai.on.ca/about_
us/human-rights/ally
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Meet our Resources
Brochures, booklets, & info sheets from
LGBTQ Parenting Network:
LGBT Adoption in Ontario (booklet)
Assisted Human Reproduction Guidebook
Brochures:
Parenting options for GBQ Men
Choosing a sperm donor: Known or Unknown?
Insemination procedures
Co-parenting
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Homework # 3
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Free resource – produced
by BestStart and LGBTQ
Parenting Network
Relevant to all
professionals who work
with parents, prospective
parents, and children.
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Report: Transforming Family
Trans Parents and their Struggles, Strategies, and
Strengths
44 Page report describing the
experiences of trans parents
Recommendations for:
Social services
Health
Legal
Educational institutions.
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Info Sheets
LGBTQ Parenting Recognition
Birth Registration in Ontario
Second Parent Adoption
in Ontario
Declarations of Parentage
in Ontario
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Coming soon!
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Joint programs of :
Queer Parenting Programs at The 519 Church Street Community Centre
LGBTQ Parenting Network at Sherbourne Health Centre
A weekend course for people of diverse family
structures and identities, including gender queer, trans,
bisexual, poly, pan or omni-sexual, dyke, butch, femme,
boi, lesbian, gay, queer, or other, and their partners.
Outside Toronto? Join us for the weekend!
Fall 2014 Session
Friday, November 28 - Sunday, November 30at Sherbourne Health Centre, Toronto
$125+ HST per person, sliding scale available
Register online: lgbtqpn.ca/planning
Queer & Trans Family Planning
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Fertility Support
(in)Fertility support is generally
cisnormative and heterocentric
Still Trying:
LGBTQ fertility
peer support group
Once a month at
Sherbourne Health Centre
Toronto
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Further Training
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Rachel Epstein
Coordinator
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
333 Sherbourne Street
Toronto, ON
M5A 2S5
(416) 324-4100 ext. 5219
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Andy Inkster
Health Promoter
LGBTQ Parenting Network
Sherbourne Health Centre
333 Sherbourne Street
Toronto, ON
M5A 2S5
www.LGBTQParentingNetwork.ca
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(416) 324-4100 ext. 5276
/LGBTQPN
@LGBTQPN