Birth & Beyond Conference • October 3 2014 • London, ON

Andy Inkster, MAHealth Promoter

LGBTQ Parenting Network

Sherbourne Health Centre

Toronto

333 Sherbourne Street, Toronto, Ontario M5A 2S5 • (416) 324-4100 ext. 5276 • ainkster@sherbourne.on.ca

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What does it mean to be an LGBTQ

Positive Professional?

Workshop Description

An interactive workshop exploring what it means to make services

welcoming and accessible to LGBTQ people and their

families. We’ll talk about the history and social context of LGBTQ

parenting, and some of the commonly-held negative ideas about

LGBTQ people raising children.

We’ll share findings from recent research on LGBTQ parenting,

including people’s experiences with service providers, and reflect on

personal and organizational beliefs and practices that help or hinder

LGBTQ inclusivity.

Come join us for an enlightening and practical workshop. Bring your

questions!

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Agenda

Labels & words

What does it mean to be an LGBTQ positive

professional?

Strategies at the individual and institutional level

Homework

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In focus groups, people said:

We want information and support in order to

create families.

We want connection for ourselves and our

children with other LGBT families, opportunities

to hang out, socialize and to talk with others

about important issues.

We are worried about our kids’ experiences in

schools.

How do we find queer positive professionals?

What does it mean to be an

LGBTQ positive professional?

The Nuclear Family

Heterosexual married monogamous couple

Children genetically related to the parents

Man earns the money

Woman – caretaker

All of these roles are natural

LGBTQ families challenge the

conventional nuclear family:

People often parent children they are not biologically related to

Sometimes more than two parents

Challenge the gendered division of labour

May be more likely to form single parent by choice households

How do you welcome

diversity in families?

Reflection #1

Sex

FemaleMale

Intersex

GenderGirl

Man

Androgynous

FeminineMasculine

Fabulous!

Woman

Boy

Trans Cis

Sexuality

Lesbian Bisexual

Homosexual Heterosexual

Fantabulous!

AsexualStraight Pansexual

Gay

Monogamous Polyamorous

Queer

Monosexual

Sexuality and gender are flexible

Identity and behaviour don’t always match

What are all these new words?

Ask:

Labels are tricky

• How would you describe your

sexuality and gender?

• Who is in your family?

Homophobia

Physical & verbal violence

Legal & social persecution

Stereotypes

Fear of gay people.

Hatred toward gay people.

Biphobia

Physical & verbal violence

Legal & social persecution

Stereotypes

Fear of bi people.

Hatred toward bi people.

Transphobia

Physical & verbal violence

Legal & social persecution

Stereotypes

Fear of trans people.

Hatred toward trans people.

Heterosexism

Everyone should be heterosexual.

The assumption that everyone is

heterosexual.

Monosexism

Everyone should be monosexual.

The assumption that everyone is

monosexual.

Monosexual:

Having only

one sexual

attraction

Cissexism

Everyone should be cisgender.

The assumption that everyone is

cisgender.

Cisgender:

not trans

Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia

Explicit, overt – bold

Heterosexism, Monosexism, Cissexism

Implicit, assumed - sneaky

Homophobia

“She (birth mother) had a post partum hemorrhage after he was born. That was terrible. I had to drive her down to the hospital, and then I couldn’t park the car so I let her off and went running all over the place trying to find a parking space. I arrived and told them who I was and everything. They were laughing and nudging each other and they wouldn’t let me go in. I had to sit out there for an hour and I didn’t know whether she was O.K. or bleeding to death.”

(Lorraine, 1995)

Heterosexism

We’re in the hospital, and they give us the wrist bands…

and the wrist band says ‘mother,’ and the other one

says ‘father,’right on the wristband.

…couldn’t you just give us two‘mother’ones, is that

going to confuse everybody too much?”

Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006

What impact does heterosexism

have on your practice?

Reflection #2

Two babies!

Two moms.

and a Dad.

Who’s in a family?

The twins were born by c-section.

The hospital policy is

only one support person

can be in the OR.

The parents all wish to attend the birth of their babies.

How can you facilitate this with the hospital staff?

Impact

What impact does cissexism have

on your practice?

Reflection #3

Kelly is 18 weeks

and just starting to

show.

Sarah is very excited

that her husband is

pregnant.

Do you work with trans people?

27% of trans people in

Ontario are parents

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Do you work with parents?

Childbirth Preparation

At your prenatal class, you separate the moms and the dads into two groups for some exercises.

What challenges might each of these families experience?

Two moms

Two dads and gestational carrier (surrogate)

Single parent with four friends

Trans man and his wife

Impact

Individual Strategies

Educate yourself

Rainbow Health Ontario

Mount Sinai (Toronto) –

Be an Ally! Campaign

Ally yourself with LGBTQ people

Challenge homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic

jokes

Find heterosexism, monosexism, and cissexism

and correct it

LGBTQ clients may look for cues that services are LGBTQ positive.

These might include positive space imagery or posters and brochures depicting LGBTQ families.

Individual service providers can provide cues that they are open to LGBTQ families through choice of gender-neutral language, and attention to the ways that questions are posed.

Drop a hint…

Language

“It was, ‘you and your husband, you and your

husband.’ Well, there are single people here;

there are people who aren’t married.

She’d keep correcting herself after the fact –

‘I mean partner, whatever.’

No, it’s not whatever.”

Ross, Steele & Epstein 2006

Talking with Clients Ask open-ended questions

Use the same words as the client to

describe self, sexual partners,

relationships and identity

Use gender-neutral language such as

“partner(s)” or “significant other(s)”

If you make a mistake,

apologize and move on

Advocating with other

professionals

Send information ahead with your referral

Follow up with clients – how was that ultrasound clinic?

Chart:

What will does the

care team need to know?

Whose comfort?

“Every time I'm in a health situation, they'll always ask, would you like your husband to come in, and I'll just say no, my “friend” is here…I'm hesitant to create a situation where I think there's going to be discomfort because

it makes me uncomfortable when they get uncomfortable”

MOMs participant

Organizational Change Review your organization’s strengths and

challenges

Are there staff, colleagues or community groups

who can support you?

Can you form a committee?

Should LGBTQ equity be integrated into broader

equity initiatives or approached separately?

Management Critically examine programs and services

Are your programs meeting the needs of

LGBTQ people?

Ensure that staff are trained and evaluated

Promote increased inclusion of LGBTQ people

at all levels of the organization

Celebrate LGBTQ clients, staff and volunteers

Organizations can: Name sexual orientation and gender identity explicitly in

agency anti-discrimination and equity statements

Act to prevent and react to homophobic, biphobic, and

transphobic incidents.

Include LGBTQ knowledge in advertising, qualifications

and interviews when recruiting staff and volunteers

Recognize public events (Pride, International Day against

Homophobia, Trans Day of Remembrance)

Organizational Change:

Set targets, review progress, modify strategies, address problems

Look for allies and supports from LGBTQ communities to help keep the momentum

Develop and deepen relationships with LGBTQ people and communities

Look for connections between different issues and types of oppression

Signs

There’s a sign at the ultrasound office:

Fathers to be:

if this is a pregnancy ultrasound

fathers must wait in the waiting room

You know, it’s exclusionary,

it’s not necessary,

it’s just a question of somebody

thinking to put the language the right way,

it doesn’t have to exclude different kinds of families.

MOMs participant

Communications

Language can be excluding, neutral or

inclusive This group is for new moms and dads…

This group is for new parents….

This group is for new parents from all kinds of

families…

Photos, and graphics in brochures, on

website, and at choice of art, posters

and community information

Forms

…when it says “father” and “mother”, and we have to cross it out and write “mother”

I hate that. It should be like parent or guardian one and parent or guardian two. It’s really oppressive, every time having to cross it out … even at my school which was very progressive, a very awesome school, but even they had forms that said “mother” and “father.” It’s just annoying … it’s like straight until proven otherwise.

(child of lesbian moms)

Clinic space?Client records? Posters?

Health promotion materials?

Forms?

Language?

Information? Washrooms?

How is your care

gendered?

Homework # 1

ALLY yourself with

LGBTQ people

Homework # 2

• Videos

• Resources

• Tools

• E-learning modules

Developed for health care providers

http://www.mountsinai.on.ca/about_

us/human-rights/ally

Meet our Resources

Brochures, booklets, & info sheets from

LGBTQ Parenting Network:

LGBT Adoption in Ontario (booklet)

Assisted Human Reproduction Guidebook

Brochures:

Parenting options for GBQ Men

Choosing a sperm donor: Known or Unknown?

Insemination procedures

Co-parenting

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Homework # 3

Free resource – produced

by BestStart and LGBTQ

Parenting Network

Relevant to all

professionals who work

with parents, prospective

parents, and children.

Report: Transforming Family

Trans Parents and their Struggles, Strategies, and

Strengths

44 Page report describing the

experiences of trans parents

Recommendations for:

Social services

Health

Legal

Educational institutions.

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Info Sheets

LGBTQ Parenting Recognition

Birth Registration in Ontario

Second Parent Adoption

in Ontario

Declarations of Parentage

in Ontario

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Coming soon!

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Joint programs of :

Queer Parenting Programs at The 519 Church Street Community Centre

LGBTQ Parenting Network at Sherbourne Health Centre

A weekend course for people of diverse family

structures and identities, including gender queer, trans,

bisexual, poly, pan or omni-sexual, dyke, butch, femme,

boi, lesbian, gay, queer, or other, and their partners.

Outside Toronto? Join us for the weekend!

Fall 2014 Session

Friday, November 28 - Sunday, November 30at Sherbourne Health Centre, Toronto

$125+ HST per person, sliding scale available

Register online: lgbtqpn.ca/planning

Queer & Trans Family Planning

Fertility Support

(in)Fertility support is generally

cisnormative and heterocentric

Still Trying:

LGBTQ fertility

peer support group

Once a month at

Sherbourne Health Centre

Toronto

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Further Training

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Rachel Epstein

Coordinator

LGBTQ Parenting Network

Sherbourne Health Centre

333 Sherbourne Street

Toronto, ON

M5A 2S5

(416) 324-4100 ext. 5219

repstein@sherbourne.on.ca

Andy Inkster

Health Promoter

LGBTQ Parenting Network

Sherbourne Health Centre

333 Sherbourne Street

Toronto, ON

M5A 2S5

www.LGBTQParentingNetwork.ca

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(416) 324-4100 ext. 5276

ainkster@sherbourne.on.ca

/LGBTQPN

@LGBTQPN