ed batista, interpersonal dynamics (aka touchy feely) @stanfordbiz, class 9: from the lab to the...
TRANSCRIPT
Interpersonal
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Dynamics
Ed BatistaClass 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD
Here until 5:50pmClose support triosWork in small groupsA short breakAlumni join your groupsYour final T-group tonight
Today’s agenda
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Photo by Martin Meredith [link]
Vulnerabilityhangover
VulnerabilityhangoverThe morning after the [2010 TED] talk, I woke up with one of the worst vulnerability hangovers of my life… What did I do? 500 people officially think I’m crazy & it totally sucks.
~Brené Brown
VulnerabilityhangoverA feature, not a bug
If that’s nottherapy, what is it?
Comfort withdiscomfortDisclosures aren’t intended to heal or solveGreater capacity to share & witness Very real-world issue
Discuss with your
How you helpedWhat I’m thankful forWhat I learned about support
support group
DebriefWhat did you learn?How might this apply in the real world?
Thank your group
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But is this real?
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But is this real?Yes & no
Intensively-designed experienceBut ALL experiences are shaped by the setting
But is this real?The purpose is NOT to replicate T-groups
in lifeBut to understand foundational principles& translate them into other cultures
Vulnerability
Performance &
Stress
Performance
Eustress Distress
stress
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
CONTEXT Learning,
Awareness,& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions
Social identityContinuum of social behavior IntergroupInterpersonal
It’s usually both
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FeedbackStressfulConfusingUnwelcome
It’s not like this…
It’s like this
Photo by Unknown. Concept by Kevin Martin.
3 triggers
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TruthRelationshipIdentity
The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
5 levels1: Ritual2: Extended Ritual3: Content4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
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Emotions areattention magnets
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A soft start
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Like this
Begin with authentic positive intentEmphasize mutual goals
A soft start
Connections
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ConnectionsA bid can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch—any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman
StatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
SCARF model
Stereotype threat
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Microaggressions
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The balcony &
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the dance floor
Dissecting a
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group
EQ and groupsEssential conditions…Mutual trustGroup identity (Feeling of belonging)Group efficacy (Belief in value of the team)Strongly affected by group EQ
EQ and groupsHigh EQ individuals ≠ High EQ groupGroup norms determine group EQCreate awareness of emotionHelp regulate emotion
EQ and groups
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Ability to identify productivenorms & make them explicit
Norms regarding emotionawareness & regulation
Mutual trust,group identity, group
efficacy
Participation, cooperation, collaboration
Effectiveness
Kantor’s 4 players
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Kantor’s 4 playersMover initiates
Follower supportsOpposer challengesBystander observes
Kantor’s 4 playersOptimal system
All roles are representedAll members can play all roles at any time
Kantor’s 4 playersSub-optimal system
One or more roles is missingMembers may avoid certain rolesMembers may get stuck in certain roles
Pfeffer & Cuddy
CuddyInfluence = warmth + strength(Establish warmth first)
…and Top Quartile in Leadership
Effectiveness
Bottom Quartile in Likeability…
1 in 2000
PfefferAmbitionEnergyFocusSelf-knowledgeConfidenceEmpathy for othersCapacity to tolerate conflict
What is support?
Photo by Peter Dutton [link] Photo by Resolute Support Media [link] Photo by Drew [link]
Consciousness
Competence
1
2 3
4
Act
Reflect
Conceptualize
PlanPrepare & develop a
future course of action.
Identify principles that help explain the results & update old theories.
Assess my behavior & its consequences.
Experientiallearning
Discuss (Part 1)What have we learned?
How will we apply it in the real world?
Discuss (Part 2)What questions do we have for our
alumni?
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Take a break
10 minutes
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How this will workOne of our guests will join your group
You’ll have 13 minutes with themThen they’ll rotate aroundPlease stay on time
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DebriefWhat did you learn?What questions remain?What concerns do you have?
Next stepsWeek 9 Post-Group Assignment due Thurs @ NoonThis is your final written assignmentPlease thank your Reading Coach
Next stepsWeek 10 Readings & Class Notes on CanvasWeek 10 Pre-Class Assignment due Tues @ 3pmFinal feedback prep, nothing to submitSingle most important task
Final feedbackSame format as end of LeadLabsSeries of 1:1 conversationsA lot of work to prepareStart early
Final feedbackA suggested formatHere’s what I’ve appreciated about you…
& here’s what I hope for you…If this doesn’t work for you, use another format
Final feedbackNotes can helpBut don’t just read themThe experience makes a differenceThis isn’t the time to drop a bombshell
Dynamics InterpersonalFor more:www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html