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Embracing A Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine

We must challenge and support men to; in the words of the great Persian poet Rumi,

“become hunters of a more invisible game.”

The Tony and Laura Bushman Men’s Ministry Project

June 15, 2017

Anthony N. Mtuaswa Johnson

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Executive Summary

This project report, “Embracing A Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine” is the initial product

of the Tony and Laura Bushman Men’s Ministry Scholarship program. It has been created as an

offering to Unitarian Universalist congregations and communities interested in developing or

sustaining a Men’s Ministry in their congregation or local community.

The information contained herein is based upon a semester long study by a seminary student. A

hands-on methodology of participation and involvement with men’s groups was utilized during

the development process.

The project focus, by its nature, is a limited and initial one, to be supplemented by ongoing

scholarship in the area of men’s ministry. Based upon studying the history of the Unitarian

Universalist men’s movement, which began in 1991, the project offers insights and structure

toward building both a single small group men’s ministry and a regional or national effort for a

new mature masculinity called “Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine.”

The findings and conclusions of this report indicate a need to address the needs of Unitarian

Universalist men at a level not currently supported by the Unitarian Universalist Association, as

it once did in the past. The report recommends an effort to pursue UUA support and support

from men within Unitarian Universalism who wish to help grow a men’s ministry.

The current Unitarian Universalist political and communal environment, in May of 2017, lends

itself to our desire and our belief that a men’s ministry is and can be a conduit for change within

the UUA and its member congregations. As we update programs for men’s ministries, it is

important that they reflect and include the intersectionality of systems of oppression and

discrimination. We are being called, as never before, to create a Beloved Community that is

inclusive, transgenerational and relevant to all its members.

We believe men are critical in this development and this mission. When men change, the world

can change.

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Introduction

“It is my deep conviction that the only option is a change in the

sphere of the spirit, in the sphere of human conscience.”

Vaclav Havel

This project is a call to the heads and to the hearts of men. “Embracing A Unitarian Universalist

Future Masculine” is a call that asks men to answer the call and stop looking at the caller I.D. A

call that is a reverberating echo. An echo of the sound of men’s sighs. An echo that is, most

times, silent until stirred and released within a circle of men who dare to “dance with the moon.”

This call is a call that excludes no man. It is a call whose revealed warmth has soothed the hearts

of men since time immemorial. Men who have sat around fires throughout history to listen to the

stories of their lives. And, this is a call to men who have sought community and communion

under the umbrella of Unitarian Universalism. Our project is also a call to Unitarian

Universalism itself, its leaders and all of its congregants, both men and women. Our project is a

call to raise a banner of support for the inherent value in the personal and spiritual growth of men

within our Beloved Community.

The primary goal of this men’s ministry is to assist men in our quest to discover who we are as

men, as sons, fathers, grandfathers, husbands, partners, friends and brothers. I have a personal

interest in, and have spent many years in the training and development of, a mature masculinity

including and beginning with myself. We support and engender a masculinity that is male-

positive, pro-feminist / womanist, gay-affirming, culturally and racially inclusive and diverse. A

masculinity dedicated to spiritual and personal growth, and one that challenges men to confront

gender injustice, homophobia, racism, loneliness and the distrust between men and women,

children, other men, ourselves, and the earth. Men would meet in circles created as sacred

spaces by the men themselves. Men would learn the concepts of accountability, integrity and

trust among men. Through discussion, exercise, process and ritual, men would engage and

explore the masculine and feminine energies resident in every man.

The scope of this project includes the elements necessary to start a men’s group within a

Unitarian Universalist congregation and presents a guide to aid in its implementation.

“Embracing A Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine” will also present a new vision of what a

men’s movement within Unitarian Universalism could be and the steps necessary for its creation.

This vision is a reclaiming of the urgent need for a rebirth of a national commitment to men’s

ministry. This vision calls for a masculinity that is fluid, relevant and knows that change is a

good thing. A masculinity that is based upon recognition of the past wisdom bestowed upon us

by our ancestors and the glory that comes only from embracing the future, both seen and unseen.

For men, it is an opportunity to, as I mentioned earlier, dance with the moon.

This masculinity embraces, without hesitation and with cautious understanding, the Divine

Feminine and the Divine Masculine energies that resonate within both men and women.

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Methodology

“Past thinking and methods did not prevent world wars.

Future thinking must.”

Albert Einstein

That reverberating echo I referred to earlier serves as a cautious and conscious reminder that

what we are calling for is nothing new. It is a reverberating echo. An echo of the sound of

men’s sighs. An echo that is, most times, silent until stirred and released within a circle of men.

There is an ongoing presence, more than two decades old, of a men’s ministry alive and present,

though some would argue dormant, within Unitarian Universalism. I strongly suggest we begin

there, which is where we started with this project. I talked to the Founders and the Elders of the

men’s movement within Unitarian Universalism.

I attended a renewal retreat with men who have gathered under the Unitarian Universalist

umbrella for some 28 years, every year. We sat in Kinship Circles and shared our stories. I sat

in circle with men I did not know. I know them now. Some 83 men at 7,000 feet for 4 days.

Minds were expanded and hearts were opened to let in the healing light of expressed truth and of

repressed feelings. The experience of, what I like to call, “felt eyes.”

WAS IT A WEEKEND?

Was it a weekend? Was it a weekend?

No, it was a strong beginning.

Men came and brought their shadows

And found some gold.

What a sight to behold,

Tall, short, fat, white, black and beige.

We were keeping Spirit happy,

Burning a little sage.

I laughed, I cried in the face of my truth

Told through eyes different from mine,

Eyes opened by Spirit

In a container held by wisdom keepers.

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An evening created by Love.

We were bathed in light.

Then, I heard Mr. Mandela, soft and clear:

“Take your light from under the bushel.”

Then Malcolm’s voice bounced off the chandelier:

“This is a time for martyrs now and if I am

going to be a martyr, then let it be

in the name of brotherhood.”

There and then I understood,

I over stood, I stood up.

Others stepped up, nobody shut up.

Instead, we opened up.

The question came up:

“So, what’s next?” I was perplexed.

But what the heck?

I say, grab a mop.

All hands on deck.

This ship is sailing for a land unknown,

Following the sound of the mystery’s tone.

Feeling the pull, feeling the pull,

The pull of Spirit and Bone.

This call for “Embracing A Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine,” is also based upon more

than a dozen interviews with Unitarian Universalist ministers and congregants. It is the value

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and the benefits of men sitting in circle with one another that these men and women expressed,

and that I hope to convey. It is this value, this concrete experience and expression, that I hope

will, and that I know can, fuel an expansion within Unitarian Universalism for “Embracing A

Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine.” A continuation of small men’s groups and the rebirth

of a regional and or national commitment to men’s ministry, a full-throttle embrace of a new

masculinity, a “Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine.”1

This one semester research project can only serve to take a peek at the tip of the iceberg of men

and the role we play in the creation of our Beloved Community. It is my hope the next Bushman

scholar will continue the work and take it to the next level. I would like to thank those dozen

men who consented to being interviewed.

I asked the following seven questions to all 12 who were interviewed:

Why are you in a men’s group?

What are the benefits for you?

What has the support been like?

How has it made a difference in your life?

How has it made a difference in the life of the congregation?

How has it made a difference in the life of the community?

Would you refer other men?

Additionally, for this project, I sat in a “virtual circle”, an 8-week online Zoom software-based

gathering of men on a Hero’s Journey. I sat in both as a participant and also as a gatherer of

information for this project, asking men to share what value they have experienced in these

circles. This gathering of men had an international flavor, as several of the men were residents

of Canada and one, although Canadian, was calling in from Mexico.

This “hero’s Journey” circle is one of many men’s circles I have been honored to be a part of

over the last two decades. I have, like many men I met in the San Bernardino mountains in

Southern California, at Camp De Benneville Pines, been blessed to have witnessed the joy of

men being with men.

I bring the wisdom and the wounds of being an African-American man in America, to circles

where most of the men are WHAMMERS, (white, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon, middle-class,

middle-age males), as the Rev. Tom-Owen Towle, founder of the UUMeN’s movement, refers to

them. 2 Those “felt eyes” I referred to earlier exemplify the experience of a men’s circle I

1 Anthony Johnson, How a Macho Misogynistic Thug Became a Feminine Postulant,” pg. 1 2 Tom Owen-Towle, Save the Males, pg. 30

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founded in Washington D.C., in the late 1990’s where Black and White men sat to go beyond the

masks we all wear. This project lasted for more than six years. James Baldwin reminds us that,

“love takes off the masks that we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” This

experience still resonates in my heart and fuels my commitment. I have seen it and it is real. I

must also mention the Mankind Project 3 as playing a huge part in whatever experience and

insight I bring to this work. I initiated as a New Warrior in November of 1995 and will always

carry that learning and honoring of the Sacred Masculine wherever I go and as long as I live. It

was during this same time period that I met West African Shaman, Malidoma Some, with whom

I have experienced some of the ways of the Ancestors and the depth and width of African

Wisdom. Specifically, for men, we learned the ways of The Beam, The Basket and The Bow

and how these traditional male responsibilities of providing a home, nourishment and protection

play out in our modern world.

Discussion

“In the midst of a world marked by tragedy and beauty there must be those

who bear witness against unnecessary destruction and who, with faith,

rise and lead in freedom, with grace and power.”

Rebecca Parker

The timing for a rebirth and for a newly resourced men’s ministry could not be more perfect.

Our present environment, in the summer of 2017, is fertile soil for the rebirth of a commitment to

do men’s work. The invisible and seemingly impenetrable monsters of patriarchy, racism, white

supremacy, sexism, classism and ableism, to name the primary purveyors, are being called out

and confronted in our religious and spiritual family of faith. It has been some 20 years since the

1997 General Assembly, when delegates voted that the Unitarian Universalist Association would

commit to becoming an anti-racist and multicultural institution.

Though it has been 20 years since the GA of 1997, the questions, denials and turbulence

surround us still. Why? I believe some context may be helpful as I remember our history. “For

looking at a white man an enslaved person could have his or her eyes blinded with hot irons. For

speaking up in defense of a wife or a woman, a man could have his right hand severed. For

defending his right to speak against oppression, an African could have half his tongue cut out.

For running away and being caught an enslaved African could have his or her Achilles tendon

cut. For resisting the advances of her white master a woman could be given fifty lashes of the

cowhide whip.” 4 It is obvious to me, as I listen to our current Unitarian Universalist attempts at

creating the Beloved Community, that though slavery has ended a long time ago, its scars still

linger in our faith family because it is woven into the very fabric of our culture.

3 The Mankind Project; mkp.org

4 Molefi Kete Asante, “The African American Warrant for Reparations,” from “Should America

Pay Reparations,” p.7

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Perhaps many of us may have forgotten that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., in his “I Have a Dream

Speech”, called for and described reparations as: “a promissory note in so far as America’s

citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given

the Negro people a bad check; a check which has come back marked ‘insufficient funds.’ We

refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity in this nation.

And so we’ve come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of

freedom and the security of justice.”

Would it really matter if you had ancestors who were oppressors? If so, would that experience

have been passed down through the generations to you? I interviewed the Rev. David Pettee,

Ministerial Credentialing Director for the Unitarian Universalist Association and discovered this

was, in fact, a truth for him. Imagine discovering that one of your ancestors was a captain of a

slave ship that sailed the Atlantic Slave Trade route half a dozen times. The ship’s captain is one

of more than fifty slave owners he has identified in the ten years of research of his family

lineage, alas in the abolitionist stronghold of Massachusetts. Imagine tracing the slave ship’s

route to Ghana, West Africa and traveling with your spouse to the shores of West Africa to see

for yourself. This he did, and his courage and his fear give me hope and I wonder, as Mark

Morrison Reed asks, “are affirmations and hope enough?”

“The African-American experience within Unitarian Universalism and Unitarianism points to

racism’s insidiousness. The distortions of the overt curricula, and the omissions that created the

hidden ones, supported a Euro-American worldview that was implicitly racist. Even the well

intentioned, living as they did in a cultural milieu of racial isolation and educationally buttressed

ignorance, found it difficult to see their way free. Earnest affirmations of brotherhood were not

enough.”5 Our work continues. Over six hundred Unitarian Universalist congregations, in late

April and early May of 2017, said yes to a white supremacy teach-in within their congregations.

This, for me, is not only hopeful, but could serve as “allied fuel” for our call. What role do we

men play within the aforementioned “invisible monsters?” Perhaps, this is a critical question we

can explore as we men continue, while working with allies, with our contribution to the creation

of the Beloved Community.

Our decade’s old men’s movement within Unitarian Universalism was called UUmeN. I believe

it is officially gone, though remnants of it can still be found on the internet. During my research

and analysis there is one man who, I believe, deserves to be singled out. That one man is Rev.

Tom Owen-Towle. I reached out to Tom early on in the beginning of this project. I was

immediately embraced with an attitude of welcome and of joy. Though Tom and I, as of this

writing, have never met in person, his commitment to this work is, to me, crystal clear. As an

author of 16 books primarily concerned with and dedicated to the soulful and prophetic nature of

men’s work, Tom serves as a living example of a minister, teacher and writer dedicated and

available, even as he says, after 50 years of “plying your trade”. Tom is not the only one. In the

spirit of honoring those who have come before us in this work, and at the risk of leaving some of

them out, I wish to honor Tony Bushman, Rev. Bill Hamilton-Holway, Kirk Loadman-Copeland,

Neil Chethik, and Jaco Ten Hove as Elders in the Unitarian Universalist men’s movement and

others known and not mentioned.

5 Mark Morrison Reed, The Selma Awakening

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“When we launched UUMeN in 1993, its charge was to be a clearinghouse for exchange of

information of special interest to Unitarian Universalist men and to work alongside other

continental organizations committed to the same goals. But the emphasis was always

indigenous: to help local Unitarian Universalist men and groups foster a broad range of

brothering communities that provide opportunities for growth in a trustworthy atmosphere.” 6

Those words of UUMeN founder, Tom Owen-Towle, still resonate today. More importantly,

beyond those words and their meaning, there are men’s ministry groups alive and well

throughout Unitarian Universalism. This is an area ripe for future research and development for

future Bushman scholars. These men’s gatherings are still present, in other forms and perhaps

under different names, within the hearts and souls of Unitarian Universalist men. This project

can serve as a beginning clarion of revival, both throughout the Unitarian Universalist

community as well as within each Unitarian Universalist man.

There was a marked loss of support from the UUA for men’s work that led to its current state of

being, which I believe can be described as alive, dormant and available for revival.

Recommendation

As the first Bushman scholar, I recommend that we build upon the men’s ministry foundation

left behind by those men and women who have come before us and ally ourselves with others

within Unitarian Universalism to do our part in the creation of the Beloved Community.

There is an old African proverb that says; “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go

far, go together.”

In their publication entitled, “Gatherings, Small Group Ministry for Men,” Tony Bushman and

Bill Hamilton-Holway present a detailed offering to those interested in forming a men’s ministry

in their congregation or local community. Published by Skinner House Books in 2006, it

presents a series of eight small-group worship services designed specifically for Unitarian

Universalist congregations and walks us through each session from Chalice Lighting to Closing

Words. From “Getting to Know One Another” to “Loving Relationships,” the ritualized eight-

part series gives men a clear opportunity to grow personally and spiritually. “Gatherings”

nurtures a culture of trust and support. 7 It is my recommendation that “Gatherings” be

“reworked” and updated to reflect the intersectionality of systems of oppression and

discrimination within Unitarian Universalism.

The costs necessary to start a local Unitarian Universalist men’s group/ministry are minimal. The

church can usually offer a meeting space; volunteers can serve as facilitators and gauge the

energy of the men and follow their lead. Is this a brand new group or are you building on an

existing or historical group? Use the “Gatherings” book as a guide. A reminder to follow the

men and their interest, are they interested in service work? Then get behind and support their

efforts. Are they more interested in sharing personal stories? Meet the men where the men are

6 Tom Owen-Towle, Save the Males, pg. 3 7 Bill Hamilton-Holway, Tony Bushman, Gatherings, pg. V

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and share with them where you may wish to take them, with their permission and support.

Men’s donations can cover expenses at this level of men’s ministry.

Earlier on, I mentioned men “who dare to dance with the moon”. Here, I am referring to those

men among us who choose to embrace the feminine within ourselves. I am not referring to the

female or to the male but to the feminine and to the masculine. Each one of us, male and female,

and those of non-binary gender carry within our psyche both Divine Masculine and Divine

Feminine archetypal energies. We may also refer to these energies as Yin and Yang, which can

help to defuse the gendered meaning the words female and male conjure up in our minds. A

male body does not mean that only masculine energy is present. Sex (genitals, body) and the

archetypal composition of the psyche are independent of each other. As I reflect back upon my

personal journey in men’s work I am struck by the role women have played in my journey. In a

word - instrumental, to say the least. It was a woman who suggested I attend the New Warrior

Training Adventure with The Mankind Project. It was a woman who introduced me to Malidoma

Some, the West-African shaman who would become my mentor and teacher. I smile and cry as I

envision the countless untold stories, triumphs and roles of women throughout our

history/herstory.

“Femaleness in patriarchal culture marks us from the very beginning as

unworthy or not as worthy, and it should come as no surprise that we learn

to worry most as girls, as women, about whether we are worthy of love.”

bell hooks

A story comes to mind, as retold by Tom Owen-Towle; “I offer a closing story about Martin

Luther King, Jr. It occurred 40 years ago, back in 1963, when he delivered his now-famous ‘I

Have a Dream’ speech at the March on Washington. John Lewis, one of his lieutenants,

remembers the speech as being a good one but not nearly vintage King. As he moved toward the

homestretch of his address, it seemed that King himself could sense that he was falling short as

well. He simply hadn’t locked into the power he customarily found. Lewis was sitting near

enough to hear Mahalia Jackson, who was seated just behind King, lean in as he was finishing

and urged him out loud, ‘Tell them about the dream Martin, tell them about the dream…’ And

the rest, which focused upon King’s dreams for the upcoming generations of black children,

surely constitutes minutes of some of the finest speechmaking in American history.”8

Conclusions

“Start a huge foolish project. Like Noah. It makes absolutely no

difference what people think of you.”

Rumi

How these discoveries, insights and realizations, along with many others, would fit into a Sunday

morning Unitarian Universalist congregation or in a men’s small group gathering could serve as

a growing edge to be traversed in the upcoming phases of work to be done by Bushman scholars.

8 Tom Owen-Towle, Save the Males, pg. 24

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We would examine and research existing liberal religious Men’s work currently in place. We

would invite and listen to the voices of women in our year-long course work. We would

examine our role in the layer of injury that has been exposed by Black Lives of Unitarian

Universalism (BLUU). This is a critical time in Unitarian Universalist history as the

intersectionality of race, class, gender and all “ism’s” are being exposed to the light necessary to

create the Beloved Community.

The next phase of a Bushman scholar men’s ministry would also go deeper into the reality of

why men of color, or gay men, or poor men, or transgender men do not show up in our UU

men’s circles? Over the course of our one-year program, men would be challenged to embrace a

masculinity that reflects the principle of recognition, understanding and acceptance of an innate

Masculine Principle of competition, cunning, aggression, and logic. Men would also be

challenged to embrace the principle of recognition, understanding and acceptance of an innate

Feminine Principle of compassion, cooperation, receptivity, and intuition. Once embraced, we

would challenge ourselves to implement these principles in daily life.

My grand vision is to have a relevant and inclusive men’s model in place within every UU

congregation. Starting out on a regional level, with the blessings and support of Tom Owen-

Towle and the current leaders of the San Diego community, where the UUMeN’s Movement

began, could be an initial step and a realistic beginning towards the grand vision.

We offer that the number one enemy of a mature masculinity, a “UU Future Masculine” if you

will, is not women or other men. It is a patriarchal system that has been in effect at least since the

second millennium B.C.E. that is diabolical and has become normative and must be changed. A

system that has left the strongest in the species the least nourished. Yes, we are those who wound

others and we are the wounded.

“Authentic brothering marks not merely a corrective measure but a revolutionary endeavor.

Changing men changing the world causes radical, ongoing repercussions. When men become

brothers, all our bonds are altered, our work, and family lives are enriched (even if initially

destabilized), and our drives to repair society and heal the cosmos are rendered more urgent.

And remember: any robust revolution worth pursuing is both personal and global-it changes the

heart while contributing gifts back to the universe as well. A revolution has internal, external

and eternal ramifications; otherwise, it will play partial, or false.”9

We are challenged to create an atmosphere that grows boys to men and men to brothers, Brothers

who care for themselves, their fellows, their families and the earth. Let us not be false….

A special and heartfelt thank you to the Tony and Laura Bushman Men’s Ministry Scholarship

Fund for their support in making this vision possible.

9 Tom Owen-Towle, Save the Males, pg.75

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Projected Implementation Costs: Initial First-Year Funding:

“Embracing a Unitarian Universalist Future Masculine”

Projected Costs

Local Men’s Convening (3) $3,500

Develop UU Future Masculine Handbook $8,500

Local Facilitators $4,500

Travel Expenses $3,500

Total $20,000

Projected Income

Financial Support from UU Men $5,000

Total $5,000

Funding Request $15,000

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References

Asante, Molefi Kete. “The African American Warrant for Reparations,” asante.net, 2009.

Hamilton-Holway, Bill and Tony Bushman, Gatherings: Small Group Ministry for Men, Skinner

House Books, 2006.

Johnson, Anthony N. (e-book), “How a Macho Misogynistic Thug Became a Feminine

Postulant,” Self Published, https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B04sLqV0t7rJM0xRNnpocUYwTTg, 2015.

Owen-Towle, Tom. Save The Males: Changing Men Changing the World. Meadville Lombard

Theological School, 2004.

Owen-Towle, Tom. Brother-Spirit. Bald Eagle Mountain Press, 1991.

Morrison-Reed, Mark. The Selma Awakening, Skinner House Books, 2014.

Resources for Further Study

Abbott, Franklin. New Men, New Minds: Breaking Male Tradition, Crossing Press, 1987.

Baumli, Francis. Men Freeing Men: Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Male, New Atlantis

Press, 1985.

Clatterbaugh, Kenneth. Contemporary Perspectives on Masculinity: Men, Women and Politics in

Modern Society, Westwood Press, 1996.

Fox, Matthew. The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred, New

World Library, 2009.

Johnson, Allan, G. The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy, Temple University

Press, 1997.

Moore, Robert. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature

Masculine, HarperOne, 1990.

The Mankind Project, (n.d.) mkp.org