"embracing the new: how and why i became a unitarian universalist" by janice tosto

8/8/2019 "Embracing the New: How and Why I Became a Unitarian Universalist" by Janice Tosto

1/3

FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH OF PHILADELPHIA

A UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CONGREGATION

2125 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia PA 19103

Office (215) 563-3980 www.philauu.org Fax (215) 563-4209

E M B R A C I N G T H E N E W How and Why I Became a Unitarian Universalist

Delivered by Janice Tosto on Sunday, June 27, 2010

From the late 1980s through the mid 1990s, I was a member of a nondenominational

church that proclaimed to be Gods One True Church. I joined this church because of itsmessage that God would use us to help create a just and peaceful world built on cooperation and

not competition.I left this church after an experience that chilled my soul. At one of our holiday services,

our pastor general announced that he had received death threats from disgruntled members of our

church. These members opposed the changes in doctrine our church had made, such asendorsing the right of members of different races to date and marry. I myself married a Whitefellow member. In fact, this was the most culturally and ethnically diverse church I had ever

attended.It frightened me to know that fellow members of my church felt so strongly about

protecting our old ways of being and doing to the point of committing murder. I did not care thatpeople, including my husband, thought that I was on my way to eternal death for leaving this

church. It was no good for my soul to be in an environment where people would rather kill thanmake an effort to understand and embrace the new.

After leaving this church, I refused to affiliate with any church for over a decade. I gaveup any hope of finding a new church. Religion and church had always been a part of my life. At

one time, I even aspired to be a minister. But for over ten years, I simply lived my life, and keptpraying to the God I believe in. Soon, I hardly missed church at all.

A couple of times, I visited a church whose radio program I started listening to around 2002. I

liked the service, but I could not see myself regularly attending this church. I realized that quitea few of my beliefs had changed, and they were incompatible with what I heard at this church. I

started to embrace some new ideas and beliefs, far removed from what I had grown up with orbelieved in my early adult years.

In 2005, I was doing some volunteer work with a womens foundation. The foundationsponsored a forum on women, spirituality and philanthropy. One of the panelists was a

Unitarian Universalist. I listened intently to her presentation about her churchs philanthropic

activity and was quite impressed. I had seen listings for Unitarian Universalist services in theNew York Times Saturday editions. But my impression of Unitarian Universalism was that itsounded like some type of New Age religion for affluent Whites. The presentation awakened my

curiosity, however, and I decided to learn more about Unitarian Universalism.Thanks to my being an information junkie, I located a Unitarian Universalist radio

broadcast on Sunday mornings on a local classical music station. The late Rev. Dr. ForestChurch was particularly inspiring to me. I love his saying: Do what you can, want what you

have, be who you are. His messages touched me in a way that made me feel that this religion,


2/3

2

Unitarian Universalism, would have a place for me, a Black woman who had grown up in a poor,single parent home. But I still couldnt make my way to a church just yet.

Then came 2007. To quote Queen Elizabeth II, this was my annus horribilis or horribleyear. I dealt with illness, coming close to death on at least one occasion; my beloved cat Cosmo,

who was great company when my marriage ended, and who was very much a surrogate child to

me, a woman who had been unsuccessful in her efforts to become a mother, passed awaysuddenly, breaking my heart; a longtime friend and I parted ways; I was disappointed in apotential romantic relationship; and a therapist who was supposed to be helping me with my

grief and other issues angered me by forgetting appointments and spending time during mysessions talking about his issues.

Toward the end of this horrible year, I was worn out. I was questioning my direction inlife, even questioning my desire to live. One evening, I was looking at the website of All Souls

Church in New York City when I read the title of the years final sermon Finding LifesPurpose. That brought me to my first Unitarian Universalist service. I still have my notes from

that service:

What I make of the new year depends on me.

Hopes are only hopes unless I decide to make them more. I must search and live the purpose for my life. I have a purpose unique to my being. It doesnt matter when I find my purposeit only matters that I do.

I had embraced the new. But I did not want to make a commitment to this church, because I hadalso made the decision to embrace some geographic newness. I had decided to get serious about

relocating, and had chosen Philadelphia as my potential new home. I thought it was wise to visita Philadelphia-based Unitarian Universalist church to see what it was like.

I remember exactly where I was sitting, what I was wearing, and who was sitting aroundme when I first walked through the doors of this church. And I dont mind telling you, I was

feeling terribly broken when I came here. I had come off a challenging year and was stillhurting. I will never forget how Rev. Nate first approached me. It was his initial welcome that

made me feel so comfortable. I enjoyed the service (except for the part where I had to stand upand identify myself as a visitor; introverts like me like to stay in the background) I stayed for

UU and You, shared my story, and came back home to New York City. I visited a few moretimes, and liked what I heard and saw: people openly talking about the pain of suicide, which I

had once contemplated; a minister giving people hope, not hell; a depression support group; areligion where gays and lesbians are welcome. I wish my sister had known about Unitarian

Universalism years ago. She struggled with living as a lesbian in a family whose members,except for me, would not accept her sexual identity.

I visited with Rev. Nate during a day trip to Philadelphia and talked about my interest inUnitarian Universalism, but thought it too soon after just a few months to join a church. And

could I even join this church when I lived in New York City? When I came home that afternoon,however, something within me stirred. My soul was telling me to embrace the new, embrace this

religion and this church. On April 13, 2008, I signed the membership book of the First UnitarianChurch of Philadelphia.

Unitarian Universalism has given me so much religious freedom. These days, I am busilyworking on growing my soul,as Unitarian Universalist Minister Bruce Southworth often says.


3/3

3

I love being a Unitarian Universalist, and I am proud to proclaim myself one whenever I have theopportunity.

Up until I left my last church, I identified as a Christian. Today, I am eclectic in mybeliefs. I can appreciate and embrace principles and practices from different religious traditions.

I am not sure if there is a heaven or an afterlife, so I believe that I have a responsibility to help

make this a more just and peaceful world.To be sure, embracing the new is not always easy or convenient for me. There are newthings that I struggle with all of the time. And in fact, sometimes I find it is best to maintain the

tried and true. But there are times when we absolutely must have the courage to embrace thenew. It is that courage that led me to our wonderful religious tradition, Unitarian Universalism.

Amen.

"embracing the new: how and why i became a unitarian universalist" by janice tosto

Documents