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Emotional Intelligence:Your Golden Ticket to Leadership Effectiveness

LEIGH ANN ROBERTS , JD, PCC & R UL E 31 ME DIATOR

CIRCL E CE NTE R CONSULTING , L LC

W W W.THECIRCL ECE NTE R.COM

© 2005-2019 Leigh Ann Roberts and Circle Center Consulting, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be

used and/or reproduced in any form without written permission.

Today’s Facilitator- Leigh Ann Roberts,PCC Executive Coach, JD & Rule 31 Listed Civil Mediator

➢Practiced law and compliance as an attorney in Tennessee for 20 years both in public and private sectors.

➢Provides business, nonprofit/ community and workplace coaching, training and mediation services- including mediation of team, commercial and employment disputes.

➢Facilitates group discussions, retreats and planning sessions for organizations, businesses and communities.

➢Tennessee Supreme Court Rule 31 Certified Civil Mediator, Past President of the TN Association of Professional Mediators,. Mediator for many national, state and local authorities. Chair and member on state, federal and local bar associations & practice committees on the topic of mediation and ADR.

➢Works with organizations as a consultant to design mentoring programs, conflict management systems, internal coaching initiatives and a host of other professional development and culture interventions.

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More info on Leigh Ann Roberts, JD, PCCCoach, Consultant, Mediator, Facilitator & TrainerLeigh Ann Roberts Certified Trainer of Workplace Mediation

& TN Rule 31 Supreme Court Listed General Civil Mediator

Member of Circle Center Consulting, LLC. Leigh Ann Roberts is a coach, group facilitator, mediator and organizational consultant based in Brentwood, Tennessee. Leigh Ann provides business, nonprofit/ community and workplace mediation services- including mediation of employment, partnership, family-owned business, commercial and franchise disputes. Leigh Ann is a Tennessee Supreme Court Rule 31 Listed Civil Mediator, past President of the Tennessee Association of Professional Mediators, mediator for many national, state and local authorities, and past chair & practice committee member of numerous bar associations on the topic of mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution.

Leigh Ann is a seasoned mediator and arbitrator with extensive experience assisting businesses, communities and nonprofit organizations with their diverse culture, conflict management and professional development needs. Leigh Ann provides mentoring and conflict management systems design as well as other organizational culture strategies such as executive coaching and group facilitation. Circle Center Consulting, LLC, facilitates leadership and work team sessions and retreats primarily in healthcare and technology industries as well as healthcare related nonprofit organizations across Tennessee.

Speaking Topics Include:▪ EQ-Emotional Intelligence▪ Diversity & Inclusion▪ Mentoring▪ Conflict Management▪ Negotiation▪ Risk-Taking▪ Managing Teams▪ Strengths Based

Leadership▪ Change Management

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?

THE CRITICAL COMPETENCY OF STAR PERFORMERS.

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EQ: What’s the big deal?

EQ: What’$ the big deal?

Stress

Time-management

Social Skills

PresentationSkills

Empathy

Decision Making & Analysis Skills

CUSTOMER

$ERVICE

TRUST.

Hiring, Retention &

Prof’l Development

Negotiation$Mental Acuity andMemory/Retention

Leadership& Culture

Collaboration &

TEAM Work

LO$T Revenue

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100 Years of Leadership Research – Psychology Today, April 2014

The Top 10 LeadershipCompetencies:

Cutting Edge Leadership, April 27, 2014

1. Social Intelligence2. Interpersonal Skills3. Self-Awareness/Self-Management4. Prudence/Wisdom5. Courage6. Conflict Management7. Decision-Making8. Political Skills9. Influence Skills10.Area Expertise/Competence

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Making the Business Case for EQ

✓Significantly higher productivity

✓Greater profitability

✓Much better rates of employee engagement and retention

✓80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performers are in the domain of emotional intelligence

✓EQ competencies are Measurable and Learnable

✓What else??

EQ: Predictor of Malpractice Type Claims

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And Personally?

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Duke University study found that 40%of the decisions we

make each day are habits.

The Wedge of Consciousness

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Working Definition:Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is...

The ability to discriminate and

discern among emotions, yours and

others’, and use that information to

think and/or act accordingly.

IQ (Intellectual Quotient)vs. EQ (Emotional Quotient)

HEAD VS. HEART & GUT

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IQ vs. EQ

IQ

EQ

Dan Goleman, leading expert, pioneer researcher and author in the field of EI states that 80-90% of the competencies that differentiate top performers are in the domain of emotional intelligence and what is most exciting is that the competencies of EI are all in the “can be learned” set of competencies. They fall into the learned behaviors piece of the pie, they are behaviors you can develop.

Overlap between EQ, IQ and You:

IQIntelligence

Personality

Emotional Intelligence

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What does it look like?

Decision-Making Change Tolerance Time-Management Communication Customer Service Presentation Skills Anger Management Stress Tolerance Empathy Trust Flexibility Social Skills Team Work

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49% of us can’t control the avalanche.

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EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Self-

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

Self-Awareness

Try an Emotional Intelligence Appraisal….

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EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Self-

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

How do you feel?

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Non-Violent Communications(NVC)

WWW.NVCNASHVILLE.ORG

The findings of neuroscience

Human brainCortex

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The findings of neuroscience

Human brainCortex

Mammal BrainLimbic system

Human brainCortex

Mammal BrainLimbic system

Reptile Brain

Fight or flight

Or FREEZE!

Reactionis faster

thanconsciousthought!

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EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Self-

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

Help individuals know themselves

Visionaries

Mobilizers

Analysts

Nurturers

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Where do you fall on the spectrum? Lower Assertion

Asks questions

Speaks Less

Processes Internally

Defers to others High Assertion

* Tells Opinions

* Disagrees by telling

* Speaks Often

* States own thoughts first and then waits for others.

HIGH

LOW

5 Main Conflict and Negotiation Modes or Styles consisting of different “mixes” of

Assertiveness and Cooperativeness

1. Competing: assertive and uncooperative. In this mode, you try to satisfy

your own concerns at the other person’s expense.

2. Collaborating: assertive and cooperative. In this mode, you try to find a win-

win solution that completely satisfies concerns of both individuals involved.

3. Compromising: Is intermediate in both assertiveness and

cooperativeness. In this mode, you try to find an acceptable solution that

only partially satisfies both individual’s concerns.

4. Avoiding: Is both unassertive and uncooperative. In this mode, you work to

sidestep the conflict without attempting to satisfy either individual’s

concerns.

5. Accommodating: Is unassertive and cooperative. In this mode, you try to

satisfy the other person’s concerns at the expense of your own concerns.

Thomas Kilman Instrument (TKI)

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TRULY GREAT LEADERS AND PROFESSIONALSCHOOSE BEHAVIOR BASED ON THE NEEDS OF THE OTHER PERSON OR TEAM MEMBER.

BUT Assessments don’t mean you don’t have to be VERSATILE.

“Stay versatile my friends.”

Triggers and Hot Buttons…..

AND OTHER FUN THINGS THAT GO “BUMP” IN THE NIGHT.

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It makes me angry when….

I don’t like it when people...

I feel offended when….

I wish people would…..

I get irritated when people….

We must Complexify!

IDENTITY TRIGGERS…

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EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

Self-Awareness

Get a Development Partner

COACHING IN CONJUNCTION WITH TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT

WWW.ICFTN.ORG

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Watch out for the pressure cooker!

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• Status• Connection• Autonomy• Respect• Fairness

How do you tell your story?

My Story

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Recognize those VOICES*….

* See Self-Management Tool

Amy Cuddy,Harvard Business School

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Procrastination and Time Energy FOCUS Management

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What are the benefits of using time, energy and focus management strategies?

•Punctual/ rarely late, don’t rush

•Have plenty of time on projects to brainstorm and plan (including plan B’s)

•Better able to delegate where needed

•Often more patient than others, less likely to be provoked/distracted

•High quality of life b/c engage in events/ relationships that reflect their values.

•Have well-defined and realistic goals

•Usually high performers & paid 13% more

•Have more energy and will-power

•Rarely get bogged down in perfectionism

•More decisive and confident

•Say “YES” to the right things (and better able to say “NO” to the rest

•Higher loyalty/likeability ratings from support staff, colleagues, clients, etc.

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People procrastinate because…..

➢Anxiety

➢Fear of Failure

➢Perfectionism/Unrealistic Expectations

➢Uncertain of…. How to Proceed/Prioritize, etc.

➢Lazy, No Motivation

➢Lack of Context of Why Task Matters (how it fits with larger work of case, team or organization)

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Other time and energy management tips from the experts….➢Don’t get on email for the first hour of work.

➢Turn off mail alerts.

➢Calendar all meetings and deadlines (even personal ones.)

➢Chunk email time, check only 3-4 times a day.

➢Manage distractions & delegate.

➢Keep work with you when waiting between appointments.

➢Finish each task fully, put things away.

➢Be patient, get rest while practicing and reward yourself for progress made!

The Pomodoro Technique

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Take smart breaks…..Go get a cup of water (or coffee)

Take a short walk, do a flight of stairs

Neck massage or acupressure on hands/ears

Go outside, walk around building

Organize something- desk, briefcase, etc.

Go wash your hands/get lotion

At home? Do a load of laundry,

wash dishes, take out trash, etc.

Stretch or try desk exercises

www.MedicalBillingandCoding.com

www.DIYGenius.com

EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Self-

Mngt.

Self-Awareness

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Do you value highly sensitive employees?

Like a canary in a coal mine….

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Creating a Teaming Culture that is Inclusive &CHALLENGING AND not THREATENING

P ERFORMANCE OP T IMIZATION : OPTIMIZE PERSONAL AND GROUP PRODUCTIV IT Y

HA RNESS COGNI TIVE D I VERSI TY : NEEDED TO SOLVE COMPLEX/ADAPTIVE PROBLEMS

P REVENT P REDI CTABLE P I T FALLS : OF GROUPS AND OF LEADERS (NEED FOR RADICAL CANDOR)

Adaptive Problems (the new, new)

Adaptive problems are complex, answers are unknown, no single entity has the resources to bring about necessary change, new learning is required.

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Psychological Safety & Teaming

What creates the “Best” team?• More than not being punished if make a mistake• Risk-taking & Creativity (divergent thinking)• Speaking mind candidly• Perspective taking/ Open-mindedness• Higher reason/executive brain function supported• Humor, resilience, motivation, persistence

TRUST CURIOSITY (instead of blame) CONFIDENCE INSPIRATION

It’s not a polarity- you want both.

(Psychological Safety AND Accountability)

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These processes must be iterative/learning processes:

Professionals and Leaders must find increasing comfort in:

Cognitive dissonance

Not knowing

Not being right

Asking for help

Reporting mistakes

“Failing” forward

A ”reframe” of failure is needed… “failure is the natural by-product of experimentation and it promotes learning.” - Amy Edmondson

As leaders and facilitators of culture, our work is to help keep the Process AND the people VERSATILE.

Google it!

There is no team without TRUST. Paul Santagata, Head of Industry at Google

• Two year study on how to build the perfect team.• Promoting risk-taking behavior is key for innovation and market

breakthroughs.

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Music City Example: TALK ABOUT THE FIRST

CONCERT YOU EVER ATTENDED.

How do we put water in the pool?

In addition to establishing group norms….

Story-telling! The Secret Sauce of Team-Building

oFirsts: Pay-check, car you called your own, experience with inclusion/exclusion, etc.

oTell me about your name.

oTeacher/adult who had positive influence on you growing up.

oDream job besides this one.

oBest boss you ever had.

oStory cubes/quotes

oWhat is your philosophy on: ◦ Grocery shopping?◦ Social Media?◦ Fireworks?◦ Someone in front of you in traffic sitting through green light?

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EQ Competence

Self-

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

Self-Awareness

Culture eats strategy for breakfast. Every. Day. Of. The. Week. - Peter Drucker

What do you value in a team?

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Help teams know themselves

Visionaries

Mobilizers

Analysts

Nurturers

TRULY GREAT LEADERS AND PROFESSIONALSCHOOSE BEHAVIOR BASED ON THE NEEDS OF THE OTHER PERSON OR TEAM MEMBER.

BUT Assessments don’t mean you don’t have to be VERSATILE.

“Stay versatile my friends.”

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Feedback vs. Complaining

The perils giving of feedback…

Criticism may not

be agreeable, but

it is necessary. It

fulfills the same

function as pain in

the human body. It

calls attention to

an unhealthy state

of things.

- Sir. Winston

Churchill

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So, how good are YOUat Feedback?

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The skill of …..Giving AND Receiving Feedback

Six steps for becoming a better Receiver:

1.) Know your tendencies. 2.) Disentangle the “what” from the “who”3.) “Sort toward coaching”4.) Unpack the feedback5.) Ask for just one thing6.) Engage in small experiments

Main factors affecting motivation:

S.C.A.R.F.:

1.Status

2.Connection/Communication

3.Autonomy

4.Recognition

5.Fairness

Vs.

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Dan PinkOn Motivation

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Victor Borge

HUMOR IN THE WORKPLACE

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Humor, play and fun can be a sign of highly intelligent work force…

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Appropriate humor and fun in the workplace:

• Can promote appropriate team-building and relationship building

• Can promote trust and loyalty among employees

• Can be used to ease communication barriers, broaden perspectives and convey ideas

• Can promote appropriate creativity self-expression in the workplace

• Promote Morale!

• Can improve relations with clients, great for customer service!

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Avoid Making Jokes about topics which are “actionable” and could expose you or your company/organization to liability.

• Personal Appearances

• Age

• Gender or Pregnancy Status

• Sexuality/Sexual Orientation

• Religion or lack of religious beliefs

• Race, Color, Ethnicity

• Physical Disabilities or Medical Needs

• Politics

• Anything Vulgar, Profane, Suggestive or Gross

How to use Humor Effectively in the Workplace:

Feel Free To Joke About:

• Yourself– show you don’t take yourself too seriously!

• Common Situations You All Face –For example: the holiday rush, or equipment failure

• Personality Traits & Quirks that are not too personal –example: not being a morning person, or being a huge sports fan.

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CONFLICT & EQ

What are some of the types of conflict that organizations

encounter?

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Causes of conflict??➢Personalities

➢Deadlines & Stress

➢Economic Dynamics

➢Market Demands

➢Lack of Correct Information

➢Lack of teamwork or efficiency

➢Lack of strong leadership in conflict

➢Did I Mention Personalities????

Worksheet of cost factors: 1. Wasted time $ _______

2. Opportunity cost of wasted time $ _______

3. Reduced decision quality $ _______

4. Lost employees $ _______

5. Restructuring $ _______

6. Sabotage / theft / damage $ _______

7. Lowered job motivation $ _______

8. Lost work time $ _______

9. Health costs $ _______

Total cost of only one conflict: $ _______

Costs of Organizational Conflict“Pure waste, no value added”

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EQ Competence

Relationship

Mngt.

Self-

Mngt.

Social

Awareness

Self-Awareness

What willyou takefor your organization?

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Get a Development Partner

COACHING IN CONJUNCTION WITH TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT

WWW.ICFTN.ORG

Don’t forget the Resource Table!

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The Wedge of Consciousness

Duke University study found that 40%of the decisions we

make each day are habits.

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EQ, IQ and Personality:

IQIntelligence

Personality

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence: YourGolden Ticket to LeadershipEffectiveness

Leigh Ann Roberts, JD, PCCCircle Center Consulting, LLCwww.TheCircleCenter.com

© 2005-2019 Leigh Ann Roberts and Circle Center Consulting, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be

used and/or reproduced in any form without written permission.

Thank you and don’t forget to practice!