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WORD CHOICE &DICTION

US GENONSTANDARD LANGUAGESLANG IS UNCONVENTlONAL languageinappropria te for most cOllege-level writing.

NOT Evan was teed off when he bombed on theexam.

BUT Evan was angry when he failed the exam.(Use quotation marks for slang in formalessays.)

C OLLOQUIAL LANGUAGE IS charac terized by words and phrases common to spoken, in formal English and c h a ra c t e r i z e simmature writing.

NOT I ain't moving no time soon.BUT I am not moving anytime soon.NOT I don't get why parents fight all the time.BUT I do not understand why parents fight all

the time.(Colloquial language often includes contractions and grammatical errors .)

REGIONAL LANGUAGE IS language specific to a geographic area of the country.We 're fixing to go to a movie.

(The pIirase "fixing to" is a Southern regionalism that means "getting ready" or "preparing.")-PR ETENTIOUS LANGUAGE is used in

or der to appear profound.NOT The Pater cogently recognizes the inher

ent scholastic integrity o f a daily dose o fnewsy wit.

BUT My father believes that reading a newspaper is an education in itself.

DOUB LESPEAK FROM G E O R G EORWELL'S 1984 - R EFER S TO EVASIVELANGUAGE.I. Flight 743 made uncontrolled terrestrial contact.

(The sentence s ho ul d r ea d : Flight 743crashed.)

2. The military spokesperson reported that severalpeacekeepers had been initiated against theenemy.

(The sentence s ho u ld r e ad : T h e m il it ar yspokesperson reported tha t several bombs hadbeen dropped on the enemy.)

EUPHEM ISM S AR E WO RD S and phrasesthat subs t i tu te for words that are thought to

be harsh or coarse. .I. We told the children that Aunt Mildred had gone

to her reward. (she is dead)2. Uncle Filbert was taken away to a correctional

facility. (jail)3. Carolyn thought she could save money by pur

chasing a pre-owned car. (used)

TECHNICAL LANGUAGE-TECHNICAL LANGUAGE REFERS TO

the vocabulary specific to a profession ort rade and which is familiar to those reading it.

1.lf thc software overrides the default DIP settings,the technician must ini ti ate a new programsequence.

2. During pre-press, imported color scans are sepa

rated into their CMYK components.(Audience awareness is crucial when choosingtechnical language. Definit ions and examplesmust be included for nontechnical readers.)

-JARGON IS TEC HNIC AL LANGUAGE usedwi t h ou t a d e q u a te explanat ions and directedtoward a nontechnical audience in or der toimpress them.In order to truly understand orchid culture, one mustbe familiar with epiphytic, saprophytic and terrestrial forms.

(The writer should define "epiphytic," "saprophytic" and "terrestr ial.")

BIASED LANGUAGE-AVOID SEXIST LANGUAGE.

NOT Emily Dickinson is one of the most important female poets of the 19th century.

BUT Emily Dickinson is one of the most important poets o f the 19th century.

NOT The stewardess will get you a drink.BUT The flight attendant will get you a drink.

-AVOJD USING T H E G E N E R IC " H E " TORE FE R TO BOTH SEXES.

NOT A good student always begins his studyinga few days before a major exam.

BUT A good student always begins his or herstudying a few days before a major exam.

OR A good student always begins studying ..OR Good students always begin studying ..

-AVOJD USING T H E G EN ER IC " M AN "alone or as p a r t of a n o t h e r word to r e f er toboth sexes.

N OT T he new computer desk is constructed ofman-made materials.BUT The new computer desk is constructed of

synthetic materials.NOT Man (or mankind) has made great leaps in

computer technology o ve r t he p as t 10years.

BUT Great leaps in computer technology havebeen made over the past 10 years.

-AVOID OCCUPATIONAL STEREOTYPES.NOT A good secretary knows her way around

complex computer systems.BUT A good secretary can master complex

computer systems.NOT A respected lawyer will defend his client on

the highest ethical grounds.BUT Respected lawyers defend clients on the

highest ethical grounds.NOT Doctors and their wives donate heavily to

reputable charities.BUT Doctors and their spouses donate heavily to

reputable charities.NOT I wrote to the chairman of the committee.BUT I wrote to the chairperson of the committee.

-R EAR R ANGE SE NTENCES TO REM O V ESINGULAR PRONOUNS.

NOT A well-behaved child will not leave hertoys on the tloor.

BUT Well-behaved children will not leave theirtoys on the floor.

OR Well-behaved children will not leave toyson the floor.

( M ost p r onouns c an be changed to plural

forms.)

EXACTNESS

DENOTATION/CONNOTATION-A WORD'S DENOTATION REFERS TO ITSCONCRETE, DICTIONARY MEANING.Fred watched as the bats flew lOutof the cave.

- A W OR D' S CONNOTATION REFERS TOWHAT IT SUGGESTS OR IMPLIES.Fred warned his childrcn that bats bring evil.(In the second example, a negative connotation hasbeen added to "bats" for effect.)

-US E S YN ON YM S C AR EF UL LY TO AVOIDCONNOTATION MISTAKES.1. The diver was nlOted flOr his mighty breath.2. The diver was noted l()r his strong breath.

(Although "mighty" and "strong" can be synonyms,in this use, they convey very differe nt connota tions.)

-CONSULT A DICTIONARY FOR THE MOSTSPECIFIC INFORMATION ABOUT A WORD.

FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE- A S IM IL E EXPRESSES A COMPARISON

USING EITHER "LIKE" OR "AS."I. JlOan claims that her new davlilv bloums shimmer likeliquid gold. . .

2. A Harley-Davidson motorcycl e is as Allll.!ri":'lIl as app le pk-.-A METAPHOR EXPRESSES A SUBTLE COM

PARISON, WITHOUT USING "LIKE" OR "AS.""All the world 's a stage and all the men and womenmcrcIy players."

- William Shakespeare-AN EXTENDED METAPHOR DEVELOPS

OVER MORE THAN ONE SENTE NC E O RPARAGRAPH.

The economy can be compared to a living. oreathingbody, and money is the life blood of that body In ahealthy bod y, blood nows li-eely and unohstructed to all fparts, nourishing them and removing any impurities thatmight harm the body. In a healthy economy. alsonows freely and abundantly to all sectors. nourishing theoverall system and in most instance ,. removing theimpurities of poverty and hunger. If hlood is oostructed insome way, the re sult can be disastrous. Strokes. heartatlacks. dying limbs, etc . can ensue. ending in time andmoney-consuming health care or. worse. death. What wehave seen in recent years is the stoppage or money nowfrom certain parls of the economy. As a result. the unemployment rate has risen. housing starls have ntllen. and. ingeneral, a malaise has drilled over the nation. The question remains: How will we treat this serious lack ormoney flow, and will we he ahle to treat it in time to smethe patient"

-AVOID MIXED METAPHORS, WHICH COMBINE TWO OR MORE INCOMPATIBLE COMPARISONS.

NOT His creativity soars through the clouds but thenfalls like a sou me.

BUT His creativity suars into the sky. only to get lostin the clouds.

PERSONIFICATION IS THE TRANSFER OFHUMAN QUALITIES TO OBJECTS OR IDEAS."The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights; underthe hood purred the steady engine."

, William StalTord-CLICHES A RE PHRASES THAT HAVE

BECOME STALE THROUGH OVERUSE.NOT The new car can stop on a dime.BUT The new car stops precisely.

-AN IDIOM IS A COMMON PHRASE that has afixed meaning independent of each word's separate definition.I. Marcia cannot agree with John.2. Marcia and John cannot agree on a fi xed plan.3. John cannot agree to slich a proposa l.

(Although the three phrases begin with " agree," themeanings are quite different.)

-USE CONCRETE AND specific language toexpress your ideas clearly.

NOT John"s teacher poqcd test grades outside heroffice.

BUT John's E nglish prof


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CONCISENESS GLOSSARY- MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT.

NOT Several actors tried out in the auditions forthe role of Samuel.

BUT Several actors auditioned for the role ofSamuel.

NOT Adam called and said he could not comeover later to have dinner with us.

BUT Adam called. He's not coming for dinner.(By employing an economy of words, the writerclarifies the meaning of each sentence.)

-REMOVE UNNECESSARY EXPLETIVECONSTRUCTIONS.(An expletive is "there" or "it," followed by a formof the verb "to be." Expletive constructions weaken the sentence by placing the subject in a subordinate position.)NOT There were three ships that accompanied

Christopher Columbus on his first voyage in1492 .

BUT Three ships accompanied ChristopherColumbus on his first voyage in 1492.

(Sometimes, an expletive is necessary to make asentence meaningful: I t is raining.")

-PRACTICE SENTENCE COMBINING TOEXCISE UNNECESSARY WORDS.

NOT The sea was blue-gray. It spread out to thehorizon in all directions. The surface wasglassy and still.

BUT The blue-gray sea, glassy and still, spreadout to the horizon in all directions.

(The second sentence is short, succinct, and readswith a definite rhythm that is lacking in the firstset of simple sentences.)

-REPEAT WORDS OR PHRASES CAREFULLY FOR CLARITY AND EMPHASIS.

NOT John knew that Mark understood that theargument between .lohn and Mark was notwhat John wanted.

BUT John knew Mark understood that their argument was not what John wanted.

("John" must be repeated once for clarity.)-USE C OM MAS AND P RO NO UNS T O

REDUCE UNNECESSARY WORDS.I. Knowledge is the goal for some students, career

success for others, and wild parties for others.(By removing "is the goal" from each phrase andadding commas, the writer successfully streamlines the sentence.)

2. My father's success is amazing. He came from apoor family and had to work his way through college and law school.

(The pronouns replace "father.")

AUDIENCE

A CHECKLISTI. Is the audience an individual or a group? A specif

ic group or a general group?2. What are the demographics of the audience? Age,

gender, socio-economic perspectives, religious andpolitical attitudes'!

3. What does the audience know or need to knowabout the topic and are there misconceptions?

4. What is the relationship between the writer andtheaudience? Boss, employee, student?

5. How will the audience respond to the writing?With friendliness or hostility?

6. Is specialized language necessary to the meaningof the writing? Should definitions be added forclarity?

7. What does the writer want the audience to do? Isthe writing an argumentative or persuasive piece?Is there adequate evidence, logic, and rational itypresent?

8. Should the writing be formal or informal? Wherewill it meet its audience? The classroom, a townmeeting, a newspaper or journal?

9. Why is the audience reading the piece?(The writer 's responsibility is to be intelligible tothe audience. If the aud ience does no t under

stand the writing, it is the writer 's fault.)

U N IT Y R E F ER S T O OR GANIZATIONALPATTERNS WITHIN PARAGRAPHS.

There have been many films about the high schoolexpericnce. Most critics agree, however, that GeorgeLucas' 1973 film, Ameri can Graffiti, established thegenre. This agreement is not surprising, as the film'sunique approach to period reconstruction, its use ofthe popular rock n 'roll of the era, and its narrativepoint of view combine into a telling portrait of thesocial alternatives available to teenagers in 1962. Morerecently, Amy Heckerling and Richard Linklater havedirected their own versions of the high school rite of

passage. Heckerling's Fast Times at Ridgemont High(1982) and Linklater's Da z ed and Confused (1993, butset in 1976) present contlicting images of theAmerican high school student in the early years of thelast quarter of the 20th century.I. Each sen tence relates to the other sentences.2. Each sentence contains the same grammatical ele

ments.-B ALANC E RE FE RS TO SE NTENCE

STRUCTURE WITHIN PARAGRAPHS.In 1900, during the Great Exposition in Paris, Henry

Adams wandered into the hall of dynamos and stoodtransfixed before a force he knew would reshape theworld. This simple act of acknowledgment producedsuch powerful emotions that Adams would be haunteduntil his death with the paradox of "The Dynamo andthe Virgin." Although Adams could appreciate the

knowledge of physics necessary to construct a dynamo,he could also envision a danger within the dynamoitself: "Before the end, one began to pray to it; inherited instinct taught the natural expression of man beforethe silent and infinite force." The dynamo wouldbecome the new religion of the 20th century.

- Michacl BriggsI. The writer varies sentence length to hold his/her

reader's attention.2. The addition of a quotation from the source text

adds legitimacy to the essay.3. The last sentence, a simple sentence, adds force and

energy to the longer, complex sentences that constitute the body of the paragraph.

4. By not mentioning the dynamo by name until theend of the second sentence, the writer effectivelyincreases the tension within the paragraph.

5. The concluding sentence includes a hook- the newreligion-that will draw the reader into the essay.

- CO HE SI ON R EF ER S T O PARAGRAPHDEVELOPMENT WITHIN THE ESSAY.For Adams, the virgin suggested both the infinite

power of such a dynamic force and the religious symbolism of the virgin who is the idealized protector o fa fallible human race. What would happen if thissacred symbol of fertility, power, and humanity wereeclipsed by the dynamo? Mary, in her dual role o fhuman and virgin mother of Jesus, became a linkbetween humanity and a spiritual universe of perfection and "kindness."I. The second paragraph continues the theme estab

lished in the first paragraph, and it begins the development of the issue of religion as it ties the dynamoand the virgin together.

2. Subsequent paragraphs will continue this theme

while developing pertinent topics. PA RA LL EL IS M R EF ER S T O SPECIFIC

W R I T I NG S T R AT E GI E S THAT E MPHASIZE THROUGH REPETITION.

American society is at an important crossroads in itscultural development. It must not allow drug abuse todetermine its future. II cannOI allow violence todetermine its future. And it should not allow specialinterest groups to determine its future.I .The three parallel sentences work together because

t hey b ui ld on a common topic- problems inAmerican society- and include similar grammaticalelements.

2. The overall style of the selection stems from itsverb progression within the sentences.

(Do not overuse parallelism. I t provides a dist inc t s ty l ist ic effect , but it can also clut ter

writing.)

AC C EPT/ EXC EPT Accepl is a verb that means "to

and means

receive." Exce pl is usually a preposition that means"to exclude."

ADVICE/ADVISE A,Mce is a noun"opinion about an action." Adl'ise is a verb and"to offer advice."

AFFECT/EFFECT Affect is a verb that means"to intluence." E{feCI as a verb means "to bringabout." Effeci as a noun means "result." Jim:-advice ';;;11 e{feCI ceria n c hanges amllnd he re.Morale will he a/fi'cted.

ALL READy/ALREADY All means "prepared." The dancers were all read\" 10 pel:fhrm.

Alreadl' means "previous." He had alreadl" hegl/n 10mow Ihe rard when I arrived.ALLUSION/ILLUSION An allusion is a reference

to something. An illl/sion is a false appearance.A LOT Nonstandard form of mall\' or IIII/ch.AMONG/BETWEEN Among IS used for three or

more people. Between is used for two peopl e.BAD/BADLY Bad is an adjective. Badll' is an adverb.

She saw a bad l1/ovie. He acled hadlr.BESiDE/BESIDES Beside means -"at the side of."

Besides means "in addition to." I slood beside Johnwhen we were ill the principa!:I' o{fice. There wereIhree olher sll/denls Ihere, hesides lIIe.

BETWEEN YOU AND I Incorrect form ofbe/l1'eenVOII alld lIIe.

BRING/TAKE Use bring to carry something from afarther place to a nearer place. Use take to carrysomething from a nearer place to a farther place.

CONTINUAL/CONTINUOUS Conlinl/al means"repeated often." Conlinl/olls means "never stopping:'

CONVINCE/PERSUADE Convince refers to achange of opinion. Persllade refe rs to a decision totake action.

DISINTERESTED/UNINTERESTEDDisinleresled means "impartial." Uninleresledmeans "indiffercnt."

EXPLICIT/IMPLICIT E-rplic i/means "to expressdirectly." Implicil means "to express indirectly orto suggest."

FARTHER/FURTHER fllrlher rcfe rs to actualdistance. Fllrlher refers to abstract distance. l iewalked (arlher than I di d . She lalk


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- NARRATION-A narrative essay tells a storyby relating a sequence of events.I. An essay narrating events that led Martin Luther

to post his 95 theses on the door of the castlechurch at Wittenburg on O ctober 31, 1517.

2. An essay narrating events that led to the stock

market crash in 1929.DESCRIPTION-A descriptive essay focuses onan event, a person, an object, or a setting anddepends upon details and images.I.An essay describing Claude Monet 's lily pond and

flower gardens at his home in Giverny..A descriptive essay looking at the architectural

styles in SI. Augustine, Florida.EXPLANATION-An explanatory essay (anexposit ion) explains, analyzes, or in te rpre ts anissue.I .An exposi tion on the effects of the Conservative

Right in the Republican party.2. An analysis o f governmental AIDS timding over

the past decade.3.An essay interpreting speeches at a national polit

ical convention in light of specific socio-economic information.

ARGUMENTATION-An argumentative essayattempts to persuade readers to take some actionor convince them of the writer 's position.I. An essay designed to alert citizens to the danger

of urban crime and get them to start neighborho odwatch programs.

2. An essay designed to convince readers that capitalpunishment does not serve a social need.

( I t is per.missible, even desirable, to include elements of more than one purpose category inan essay .. as long as there is a dominant purpose guiding the essay.)

STABLISHINCi A P TTE

N ESSAY CAN BE DIVIDED INTOHREE, DISTINCT PARTSHE INTKODUCTION-One or two paragraphshat introduce the topic to the reader.

The introduction includes the thesis statement, a sinle sentence that states a topic and an opinion abouthe topic.HE BODY-Several paragraphs tha t present thevidence in an orderly manner.

Each paragraph in the body organizes around a topicentencc that relates to the thesis statement.HE CONCLUSION-Usually, no more than onearagraph that brings a tone of finality to thessay.

The conclusion includes a restatement of the thesistatement and touches on the main ideas presentedn the body of the essay.

IVE-PARAGRAPH ESSAYNTRODUCTION-One paragraph in length,

moving from general sentences to a specific thesistatement as the final sentence.

BODY-Three paragraphs i n l en g th , w i th themphasis on specific pieces of evidence tha t supor t the thesis.ONCLUSION-One paragraph moving from a

specific restatement of the thesis statement toa general statement of finality.This classic form is often used in freshman writing courses to introduce the essay. It is, however,structurally limited for longer topics or research

papers and should not serve as a model for all academic writing. Instead, the beginning writer shoulduse its essential elements-a clear thesis and concrete

upports - as a basis for more complex essay formats.

Topic Impressionism (too broad)Topic-Claude Monet (still too broad)Topic- Monet's art and his garden (workable)

-CERTAIN QUESTIONS CAN HELP A WRITERNARROW A SUBJECT DOWN TOA SUFFICIENTLY NARROW TOPIC.

1. What am 1interested in writing about"2. Do I have special knowledge in a particular area?3. What do I want to learn about?4. How much time do I have?

-THE KEY TO SUCCESSFULLY NARROWING ATOPIC LIES IN MOVING FROM GENERALITIESTO SPECIFIC INFORMATION.A writer might wish to deal with a specific group ofpaintings- no more than two or three- and examineMonet's artistic style as it was influenced by hisapproach to the landscape around his home in Giverny.

BUILDING PARAGRAPHS- EXAMPLES AND ILLUSTRATIONS

Monet planted his pond with several varieties of hardywater lilies and surrounded the pond with grasses, poppies, irises, and antique roses.

- DEl


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- EXPERIENCED WRITERS begin their first draftafter gathering and organizing sufficient materialfor the essay.I. View both'films at least two times in order to become

thoroughly nlllliliar with their content.2. Read selected film reviews.

DAZED AND CONFUSED ATRIDGEMONT HIGH:A COMPARISON OF TWO FILMS

There have been many films about the high school experi,enec. Most critics agree, however. that George Lucas' 1973film, American Craffiti, established the genrc. This agreement

I. A

3. Brainstorm various issues that arise from the films.4. Employ other techniques to generate material, such

asjournalingor discussing the films with fi-iends.-DO NOT ASSUME THAT the first draft will be the

final draft. Prudent writers allow time to work onseveral drafts of an essay, but many beginning writers procrastinate until the night before it is due.I . While writing the first draft, do not edit extensively.

The purpose is to get words and ideas onto paper.2. Overwrite thc first draft, even to the point of repeat

ing ideas. It is easier to cut away excess words than topad insutficient writing.

3. Use freewriting techniques to explore side issues thatmight warrant developing into significant sections ofthe essay.

-WHEN THE FIRST DRAFT is finished, leave thematerial alone for a short period of time beforeworking on a second draft.I. The first drafi docs not follow any particular ordcr.

Beginning writers should focus on writing those sections they fcc I comfortable with. Most writers beginwith thc body of thc cssay before they approach theintroduction or conclusion.

2. During the time away from the draft, the writer mightwish to review important intormation, such as viewing the films another time or re-reading notes takenearly in thc pre-writing process.

REVISION TECHNIQUES- DURING THE REVISION process, writers become

more ed'itorial in their approach, looking at thelarge elements first.I. Is the topi c well-focused"

In the essay, the writer wishes to show how there is asense of community present in Da::ed and Conti/sedthat is not present in Fast 7imes.

2. Is the thesis statement clear')Thc thesis- the undcrlying t heme-establ ishes that thetwo movies present conflicting images of Americanteenagers and their social alternatives.

3. Are there adequate examples and are they clear'? Byfocusing on specific clements in t he f il ms - th eopening scenes (e.g. the ticket scalping), the dialogue, etc.- the writer provides support for the essaythat increases its effectiveness.

4. Are the paragraphsOriginally, the third and fourth paragraphs were oneparagraph. By separating it, the writer shifts smoothly jj'om rules to rituals to a discussion of the openingscenes, which works well with the overall development of the essay.

5. Is the purpose of the essay accomplished"The combined etTeet of supportable, concrete examples and a strong pattern of development is that of asolid, well-written freshman composition. The writerdocs accomplish his/her task of illustrating commonalities, or the lack thereof, in the two films.

(By applying these questions to a rough draft, th('writer can revis(' more effectively.)-WHEN LARGER ELEMENTS of an essay have

been revised, smaller clements can be tackled.I. Do the sentences work well? Is there a balance of

paragraphs"

simple and complex s

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