entitled kids & permissive parenting: assessment and strategies for supporting the post-boomer...
TRANSCRIPT
Entitled Kids & Permissive Parenting: Assessment and
Strategies for Supporting the Post-Boomer Family
Brooke Judkins Ph D, LPC
Post-Boomer Family
Post-Boomer Family
What is the “Post-Boomer Family”?“Post-Boomer” concepts attributed to Ron Taffel, Ph.D (wrote “The Second
Family” ,2001 and “Breaking Through to Teens”, 2005)
Created from economic, social, and technological shifts over last 30+ years:
• more parents working & parents working more• marketing, consumerism• rise of “Parenting” and permissiveness
• kids have more “things” but less time with parents
• peer groups become a “second family”• technology provides more ways to contact
others
Post-Boomer Family
Problems with Permissiveness
• Parent as “friend”- lessens authority
• Creates pattern of rescuing
• Child’s low persistence to challenging tasks
• Poor emotion regulation in child
• Enmeshment often goes with permissiveness
• Leads to child’s entitlement (rebellious & defiant when desires are challenged)
• Child isn’t given opportunities to develop inner core & sense of competency (low self esteem)
Post-Boomer Parenting
Assessing Permissiveness• PSDQ (Baumrind)• Two most important dimensions of parenting: Nurturance &
Demandingness (Warmth & Firmness)
Authoritarian Authortative
Permissive
__x_______________x_________________x__Less effective Most effective
Less effective
React Respond React
Post-Boomer Parenting
Assessing Permissiveness
• Genograms
Tool to identify underlying family PATTERNS that lead to permissiveness such as:
Addictions
Mental & Physical health conditions
Conflictual, enmeshed relationships
Trauma, abusive relationships
Genogram Sample
Strategies
Love & Logic Approach
• Emphasizes parents taking care of themselves
• Respond with empathy instead of anger
• Creates space for children to do their own problem-solving
• Oriented toward connection, not control
Strategies
Love & Logic Approach
*Neutralize Arguments*-One Liners (“Nice try”, “What a bummer”, “That’s an
option” etc)
-Enforceable Statements (“When you stop interrupting me then I’ll continue talking with you”)
-Disengage (“I’m feeling frustrated and I need time to calm down. I don’t want to argue with you. I’ll check in when I’m in a better place to talk” )
Strategies
Love & Logic Approach
*Delayed Consequences*Gives parent time to come up with non-reactive
consequence, and child time to think about what he/she has done
--“I need time to think about an appropriate consequence and talk it over with some people. I’ll let you know when I’ve decided. In the meantime, don’t worry about it”
--Service withdrawal
Case Studies
• Where do you see the permissiveness?
• What questions or tools would you use in assessing this family?
• What interventions would you use with this family to address permissiveness and other issues?
The End
Thank you for attending!
Brooke Judkins Ph.D., LPCFamily Program DirectorSUWS of the Carolinas