excerpt: "turn of mind" by alice laplante

8/6/2019 Excerpt: "Turn of Mind" by Alice LaPlante

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TURN OF MIND

Alice LaPlante

A Mhy P

Nw Yk


2/30

Cpygh 2011 by A LP

A gh v. N p h bk y b pu y by y

h , ug g v y,

whu p wg h pubh, xp by vw, wh y

qu b pg vw. Sg, upg, bu

h bk h uh whu h p h pubh

phb. P puh y uhz ,

pp ug py pygh . Yu upp

h uh gh pp. Ay b u u

whg phpy p h wk u, hgy,

hu qu Gv/A, I., 841 Bwy, Nw Yk, NY 10003

p@gv..

Published simultaneously in Canada

Printed in the United States o America

first edition

ISBN: 978-0-8021-1977-3

A Mhy P

p Gv/A I.

841 Bwy

Nw Yk, NY 10003

Dbu by Pubh Gup W

www.gv.

11 12 13 14 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


3/30

For Alice Gervase ONeill LaPlante


4/30


5/30

TURN OF MIND


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7/30

ONE


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9/30

3

Shg h hpp. Yu wy . Yu

wkg: h p, v hu h hv

h vg bg gzb. Oy u:

p, u. A h x wh p. O p

.

Th , I , g g h. Th

, bu I u h. I k u. A -

k g, g w wh k pu, y wh

pp. N ww.

I by k u h p g h w, y p, p-

pg, bu k up. Fu ghg g p. M

w kg; h, . S wg bggy

u, j. A u. My gu h wu

b ppp. F gh b.

I , I h g, y. N bk y, bu

wpp . Mgz p, hy h ugh. I hv

y. I k h pp. I w w , ju k

h.


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Alice LaPlante

4

Wh I g u, I y . I bk h. I k w hu g hugh g Tribune, h y g

hugh TheNew York Times.Nw, I h b, I pk up pp

, p. I w h g I . These are

Band-Aid solutions. The violent fare-ups continue. They have reaped what they

sowed and should repent.

Aw, I k h bu wh hg bu

u, u. A hvy bu hvg, h h h

wy y upp . Ry gb. R.

Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind,

do you wish to speak to me?

I w g h. I w g h. A I Phph. Th w

h hu Wu L. W py kkb h .

No, this is Chicago. Ward Forty-three, Precinct Twenty-one. We have called your

son and daughter. You can decide at any time rom this moment on to terminate

the interview and exercise these rights.

I wh . Y.

A g g p h kh w. Th w, w hk bk

k uu h, p h p b:My name is Dr. Jen-

nier White. I am sixty-our years old. I have dementia. My son, Mark, is twenty-

nine. My daughter, Fiona, twenty-our. A caregiver, Magdalena, lives with me.

I . S wh h h pp y hu? Pp,


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TURN OF MIND

5

g, vywh. A b w I gz y khkg . A gp v h . Th I u h

h vg y h . I k, S wh yu? Wh

h h? D yu kw her? I p h kh, hy ugh.

I am h, hy y. I w h, w I h. I h y h

hu h h yu. Thy k I w . Thy k I w g

wk. A I bby? I y. I h qu. You know me,

dont you? Dont you remember? Magdalena. Your riend.

Th bk wy ug wh y, wh h-

. O g h bk p. Wh g, wh

v v h I , I hugh h

pg. S wh h. S .

I y Bb u. I v h kh b: g

qu, wh b h v hvy y pp. Eh

y h . A y w .

Sh w,January 20, 2009.Jenniers notes. Sh h h p .

Sh y, Write what happened today. Write about your childhood. Write what-

ever you remember.

I b y w h. Th pu p g

k, h gh gv wh y hugh. Th

u. My ug pg b. A w, pg

by gv g by g.

Bk. Evy wg bk. Thy wkg w h

w h w S. V, bu v h


12/30

Alice LaPlante

6

v h h w g wh ppy bw.

I y w hu, y h ww, Mg

hvg. I ju h wv- v w . Thy

w p, pp g. A h g , h

up bh , h gh .

Its Amanda, Mg .Amandas uneral. Wh A? I k.

Mg h, h y, Your best riend. Your daughters godmother.

I y. I . I hk y h. Mg g y bk. Sh u

bk h pg. Sh p wpp ppg:

Elderly Chicago Woman Found Dead, Mutilated

CHICAGO TRIBUNEFebruary 23, 2009

CHICAGO, ILThe mutilated body of a seventy-five-

year-old Chicago woman was discovered yesterday

in a house in the 2100 block of Sheffield Avenue.

Amanda OToole was found dead in her home

after a neighbor noticed she had failed to take

in her newspapers for almost a week, accord-

ing to sources close to the investigation. Four

fingers on her right hand had been severed. The

exact time of death is unknown, but cause of

death is attributed to head trauma, sources say.

Nothing was reported missing from her house.

No one has been charged, but police briefly took

into custody and then released a person of in-

terest in the case.

I y. Bu I ju up yhg. Mg v. Sh

bk wh phgph.


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TURN OF MIND

7

Tw w, by w h, wh g gh whh pu bk gh hg. Th h , yug, h h

wvy gy k h u u h, u.

Th buy php, up .

This is you, Mg y, pg h yug w.And this

here, this is Amanda. I uy h phgph.

Th w h pg . N wh yu py.

N wh yu wu . T hp u h ,

php p h h jw. Th w w

gh, uhg, bu h y h.

Try to remember, Mg ug . It could be important. H h

hvy y hu. Sh w hg . Wh? Bu I

uy . My h hk. Pp k w bw

y b.

I w g y , I y. I w Mg h. Lv b.

A? D? I bv . My , . S

h y h. My y h ghbh. My .

I A, I wu hv b . I w . Awy

p. Th h .

N h y kw. Thy w by u, y up.

N u wk k A. Sh w , v

y u. A wh w I wh h ? H.

Th w. Wwg y w. Wh h u. Wh

bh k, puh h k.


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Alice LaPlante

8

O h p! S uh p. I w p wwg y p. I w k yp y b v h g. A I w bg xy

h hg Iv b bg h g h: w bv.

Th y w y bk. Sh g h : Mg.

Today, Friday, March 11, was another bad day. You kicked the step and broke

your toe. At the emergency room you escaped into the parking lot. An orderly

brought you back. You spat on him.

Th h.

Th h . L h hw. A h uby g p-

, h u pqu h, yp y

u, I w. A uhz p.

Evy h vy pk wh I . A p-

p I kw pz . Thy hug . Thy p h y

h. Thy ppub k:Jen. Jenny. I by p

h h I u, bv v, g g. A by!

A g y w .

My bk y h b u wg. Mark very angry today.

He hung up on me. Magdalena says do not speak to anyone who calls. Do not

answer the door when shes doing laundry or in the bathroom.

Th, hwg, Mom, you are not sae with Mark. Give

the medical power o attorney to me, Fiona. It is best to have medical and


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TURN OF MIND

9

nancial powers o attorney in the same hands anyway. S hg u, , b, wh hk bk p. By wh?

My bk g:

Mk , y y y w v . I u h. Th

h h w u k p .

Th: Mom, I sold $50,000 worth o IBM stock or the lawyers retainer. She

comes highly recommended or cases where mental competency is an issue. They

have no evidence, only theories. Dr. Tsien has put you on 150 mg o Seroquel

to curb the episodes. I will come again tomorrow, Saturday. Your daughter, Fiona.

I bg Azh upp gup. Pp hy g.

Th g Mg y ky y, w y .

Th gup Mh huh Ck, qu gy wh

pb w gh py- -g ww.

W gh h Fwhp Lug, g wh ww h

p pk u bg h u k h

g h. A y w, php h z u, u

vyg u. Mg w u h h

wh h h gv. Thy up bh h k

hwy, kg pkg y g hv, bu v, p-

p p up k h hg wy h h ub.

Ou yug wh -wk g. H h k

u , k wh u jk.


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Alice LaPlante

10

My-name-is-I-orgot-and-I-am-an-I-dont-know-what. H whw h Tw Cu Sp. Step One is admitting you have a problem.

Step Two is orgetting you have the problem.

I g ugh vy , bu hy b h jk

h g, bu bu w h, -

hw y hyv h .

Ty g y . I b . I wu v h

p: Step Three is remembering that you orget. Sp Th h h

.

Ty w u attitude. Th wh h . Yuv -

v h x y g g, h y. Yu -

g, u pp. Yu kw yu ug u . Wh

yu wh up yu. B pv! Hvg Azh b k

gg py wh yu hpp kw y. Thk !

Evy b h b yu ! Evy v h -

hg yuv v ! Have a sense o humor, h y. You are a visitor

rom another planet, and you are observing the local customs.

Bu wh bu h u, wh h w g ? Wh

hg h wy ? A h I pp g wk

bu y h bugh w h y b. F u, w

by gu. Hz u vy . S yu

h g wh hv up yu. Yu ugh wh h

ugh, k u wh hy . Wh pp k do you remember

yu . O w , h yu gh up

g.

A h y uvv. I am a visitor rom another planet, and the

natives are not riendly.


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TURN OF MIND

11

I p y y. Th pp. Whk wy. Ty, p

hp v h wh, v h p, Tb.

My bk hw h I hv $3,567.89 Bk A

hkg u. Th h kbk, M-

h Bw. My h p. My hv 19

p h x h. Thy ppy w $2.56 .

H u : It is not as bad as it could have been due to your conserva-

tive investment choices and a broad portolio diversication strategy.

I $2.56 y? I ugh? I h h

pg u hy bu. AAPL, IBM, CVR, ASF, SFR. Th gug

y.

J y. J h . S I pvy , I . Wh

h y? Th h h. Th hu py xp

w wh b hukp. Sh ghg h

bk h , hug u I gz. D J h h?

Lky. S u b kpg hg , h hu k w

, I hv wy b h huwk, J, hugh

puv , buy. Awy u bu. O uv -

. Lk w. A ppv.Marriages should be transparent, h

y.They must withstand the glare o ull sunlight.Bu J hwy .

H v, uh h k. J h xp g g,

h p ph. O h, h puk u. A

hugh I upu - gz, h g u. I

w h hu y u, J byh h Nh C-

. B w w . W g - wk h


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Alice LaPlante

12

wg gh ju w hu y wy h p bk phu uv p pv , k wh h pp

wh , u p u by h v h bk h

gu. Pk uu hugh h b h

uh g. J gu. Poisonous, h . A h pk, b

. Ohw, . I h w ph, I u , bu J

y v h gy wy w pp u.

W g php qu , h gh hg u by

u, wh J pp. H p. A h ,

yw g , hg gw ghy wh. A w, g

w g wh k. J u bh. Were lucky, h .

Sometimes you can search or days and not nd one.

A wh ? I k. Th w w gh, g h

v w g u , by h g.

A ghost plant, J . Mp u.H p w

upp h w h h, bg u gg

k. Its one o the ew plants that doesnt need light. It actually grows in

the dark.

Hw h pb? I k.

Its a parasiteit doesnt photosynthesize but eeds o the ungus and the trees

around it, lets others do the hard work. Ive always elt a kinship to it. Admira-

tion, even. Because its not easythats why they dont propagate widely. The

plant has to nd the right host, and conditions must be exactly right or it to

fourish. But when it does fourish, it is truly spectacular. H g h

w up.

Y, I h, I .

Can you?J k. Can you really?


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TURN OF MIND

13

Y, I p, h w hug h hvy bw u,k p. A vw.

Shy h p, w quy g h Ev u-

hu. W v y, wu hv k u. Th

k w w, w v v u. O h wh,

g . Bu y k y, wh I J b k

wu, I g b bk h w, whh hw

h g y h y w w h. I u h

u puk h w, p J wh h bk. A

k phy.

I h C T. A . My , . A gh,

bg . P, h wy h y wh p h

u gh b. A bv . W ppy

kw h h w.

H pk bu u. H u h w our.Our students.H

y I hu b pu. Th I hv h uvy h hp

vub gy. I hk y h. I p, hvg

h b gh. A pg gh. Bk h, bk h,

bh b bh bk g. Cug p,

bg y hyh g h , h hw g. Pg

u h y h.

Bu h k y y. Ahugh I kw h -

, hw I wh h p. A hu

ku h k. S h p pk by x

ppx p, u b uh py, mad car-

lotta. I kw h ku. I kw h hwg. H kg.

Your jokes were always a little obscure, h y.


20/30

Alice LaPlante

14

O h w bv h k, vg kg p p Chamonix

bgh . Des conditions de neige excellentes, des terrasses ensoleil-

les, des hors-pistes mythiques.A w, h vu-

u hg h y 1900, p k bv p

wh h wh p . A u wg, phgph,

hugh h phgph, , hgg h gh

h p. Bk--wh. T h gh, yug g, ,

qug p hk. T h , b

wh h u ju vb bv h hz w, k,

yg h by wh h h pppg up h h. Sh k -

y h . I u wy.

Th ugh p h . You never did approve o my

artistic vision, h y.You called it precious. Ansel Adams meets the Discovery

Channel. I hug. I h h g y h gu

h.

I am going to ask you some questions, h y.Just answer to the best o your

ability.

I v bh p.

What day is it?

Gg--h- y.

Clever reply. What month is it?

W.

Can you be more specic?

Mh?


21/30

TURN OF MIND

15

Close. Late February.

What is this?

A p.

What is this?

A wh.

What is your name?

D u .

What are your childrens names?

F Mk.

What was your husbands name?

J.

Where is your husband?

H . H k.

What do you remember about that?

H w vg h .

Did he die o the heart attack or the car accident?

Cy w pb . H y hv yphy


22/30

Alice LaPlante

16

u by ky vv h u. I w . Th w wh . I wu hv g h h wy, y.

You must have been devastated.

N, y hugh w, h J: ppu b bw h h

h h h .

Youre making light o it. But I remember that time. What you went through.

D pz . I h ugh. H h uub . H

h! I didugh, uy. I ugh I h . Suh

, bgh p. Th gu. I h b

h, I wy h h. Th hh gh. Th b . Th gh

h h uubb- h qukg k

hugy g . Th wh I b: J bh

ugvg gh wh v u.

Now youre the one patronizing me. As i I couldnt see past that.

Th w hg h. H w h .

You scored a nineteen, h y. Youre doing well today. I dont see any agita-

tion and Magdalena says the aggression has subsided. Well continue the same

drug therapy.

H gv k. Do you have a problem with that?

I hk y h. Okay, then. Well do everything we can to keep you in your

home. I know thats what you want.

H pu. I must tell you, Mark has been urging me to make a statement

that he can use to declare you mentally incompetent to make medical decisions,


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TURN OF MIND

17

h y. I have reused. Th w. I would recommend that

you not let yoursel be examined by another doctor. Not without a court order.

H k p pp u h . SeeI have written it all down

or you. Everything I just said. I will give it to Magdalena and tell her to keep

it sae. I have made two copies. Magdalena will give one to your lawyer. You can

trust Magdalena, I believe. I believe she is trustworthy.

H w y w, bu I x h ph h k

w. Th ub up h y. Sh kg h

. Bh . Sh kg gh .

I h ky, I wk h ug. I w buy

hp, , hp y h. Php

pp, h pu k.

N hg. I p b y. Th I w

g h upk pk u h pup hk -

. A h b. J w k h. S w h

u v h.

Bu I u g quky. Quy. Thy w y p . Thy wy .

Bu pu. Wh . I wy kp b h . N ,

h w b h. I w y, I D. J Wh

I g y pu hy w y h u h y

I w y h ju hk h.

I w h , p vy-v bw wh h w-

hgh wugh- g gy -u

g.


24/30

Alice LaPlante

18

Dr. White? Is that you?

A k-k bu u, vg wh uk wh

g . H w h ww, w w kp p.

Y? I kp wkg.

Not the nicest day to be out and about. Nasty.

Ju wk, I y. I k p kg h. I yu k,

hy y v yu . I yu k, hy g.

How about a ride? Look at you, completely soaked. No coat. And my goodness.

No shoes. Come on. Get in.

N. I k h wh. I k h y b g .

C. Wkg u y .

You know, that nice lady you live with wont like this.

S wh.

Come quietly now. H pk hgy wh pug h uk v

h ub. H h u bh h, p up, bk wh h.

Gy.

I b g.

No, youre not. Indeed you arent. But I cant stand by and do nothing. You

know I cant, Dr. White.

I buh y y h u y kp gg, bu h h uk

g. H k u h ph. I h puh v ub,


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TURN OF MIND

19

ky. I h puh h ub, b. I kw h. I p w.Owh. H p. H bg h ph h .

W, I y. N. I u u h h uk. I yk h p

b b h. Ayhg p h ph. Sp wh w

hpp. B hg w hpp. Pu h ph w, I y. Pu h

ph w. H h. I h v h h . H k

h ph p hu. H gv wh upp b -

ug . I .

Okay! Lets get you home beore you catch your death.

H w h ub u I h h . I w p,

w gug hugh h hwy. Th hk -

k u h ww h. I p

p k Tbz u w bugh Bgh hy y g,

w uu-quy. J h pp y, w

b uu. Mg h g. A ukw up

h b, h uk.

I uy vy . I w h , puh wy,

bu b gg w h. S y wv

bu h hv pv u. A u gv pb, v,

u p, hh, k , xy. A,

u, .

A x or whatever ails you!Mg h x wh I h

h. N y, I . N vyhg.

W g St. Matthews Passion. I 1988. S h pu

Oh H, h u h pv u h


26/30

Alice LaPlante

20

v. Th h vh h h ubg u.Th up by b. I h wh J g

w wh , h bh w g y hk.

Th uy w y. I y kh. I

y h b y h g h. D I k y

p h g? Hw y I k? Hw y wu k?

I h p. I hv h h p. A h

h Bh: Ich bins, ich sollte ben. I I wh hu u b

bu h.

Bu y. N. N qu y. I w.

A h wk y hu whu kkg. H y h y

. Mg bk h up, I qu. Bu I k h

. I ug u h pby h hy g h

uhbu I w py . N .

Wh I : g, vy buu g. Dk. Dk h, k

y, k u, I y b u. H h u,

wy- y , wy. Lk yu h! I y, ugy. H

k v, h gwh h w .

Not at all, h y. Not in the slightest. I cannot hope to ll those mighty

McLennan shoes. Give counsel to the mighty and count the golden coin o

the realm. A h gv k h bw h p h ,

k h hg h vg . Why didnt you give me your

name, Mom? The shoes would have been just as large but o a dierent shape

altogether.


27/30

TURN OF MIND

21

Eugh! I y hpy I b y w. H v y. H h ju u h , h h uhg h hgh,

gu k h . W pg vywh. I v h

pk u h gh. Thy wggg. H

h y g.

W v h, bu p b b uh w

h . H pu , h h h

g g uk u gh. Ev wh h v h

h up. N. M h h. Pu. Pp z

y ugh hw qu Tuy .

Th--wh-hy-y--y- h h bu h

h ww h vg . H h , h u h

g, k h h.

Magdalena tells me youve been well, h y.

Vy, I y, y. A w p y b.

Tell me about that, h y.

Abu wh? I k.

About how aware you are o whats happening to you.

Evy k h, I y. Thy h h I b w,

vy . . .

Clinical, h y.

Y.


28/30

Alice LaPlante

22

You always were, h y. H h wy , uppg. When I

broke my arm, you were more interested in my bone density than in getting me

to the hospital.

I b bkg h , I y. Mk. I w Mk. Mk

u h p h Jk.

Im Mark.

Yu? Mk?

Yes. Your son.

I hv ?

Yes. Mark. Me.

I hv ! I uk ub. I hv ! I wh y. Jy!

Mom, please, dont. . .

Bu I vwh. A h y! I h v kw !

Th w kg y , hg .

Its okay, Mom. Im here.

I h h ghy. A yug , wu , -

v by . Th hg qu gh bu h , w

h buy. Bu y y, h k h v bv.

Mom, h y . H u , h pu bk.


29/30

TURN OF MIND

23

I h wh y bu uy g bk y h.

Mom, I had something really important to say. Its about Fiona. H g

w, h bk h k, whu k h w wh h

. I kw h k.

Wh bu h? I k. My wg.

Mom, I know you dont want to hear this, but shes gone o again. You know

how she gets.

I kw, bu I w. I hv v ug h g

.

This time its bad. Really bad. She wont talk to me. You used to be able to talk

her down. Dad, sometimes. But she listened to you. Do you think you could

speak to her? H pu. Do you understand what Im saying?

Wh hv yu b, yu b? I k.

What?

A h y, yu h y h hg?

Shhh, Mom. Its okay. Im right here. I never let.

Wh yu ? Iv b . A h hu. Eg -

, gg b . S .

Thats just not true, Mom. Until just last year there was Dad. And what about

Magdalena?


30/30

Alice LaPlante

24

Wh?

Magdalena. Your riend. The woman who lives with you.

Oh. H. Sh y . Sh g p. I py h.

That doesnt mean shes not your riend.

Y, y . Suy I gy. Fuu! Yu b! I y.

Yu b !

Th wy g h gh hvy. Magdalena!h .

D yu h ? B!

I heard you, Mom. H k u, hg hg. My coat, h

y. Have you seen my coat?

A w hu h . B. A w h. Better go, h

y. Quickly. Heres your coat. Yes. Thanks or coming.

Well, I wont pretend its been un, h y , u g.

G u!

Th b w pu up h h. Sh v wy w . No,

Jennier. Put that down. Please put that down. Now, really, did you have to do that?

Wh h hpp. Th h b . Th ph h

hwy h g. C wp p , h u bw

wy. Ou, , g . I v, v,

y yhg. Th uh wh h . O y,

uh uh .

excerpt: "turn of mind" by alice laplante

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