final wmls with pictures 5

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Why Mommy Loves the State

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ISBN #: 978-0-557-08418-0Copyright: Bretigne Shaffer, 2009

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To all mommies and all statists everywhere.

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This is Mommy.

Mommy loves her children, Mommy loves the world, Mommy lovesher friends and neighbors, and Mommy loves the state.

Mommy didnt always love the state. There was a time whenMommy didnt even know what the state was...

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When Mommy was a little girl, she had a friend named Marcia.Marcia had the big new Pink Princess Townhouse (TM) and LittleMommy went over to Marcias house every day to play with it.Little Mommy asked her own Mommy and Daddy if she could

have a Pink Princess Townhouse (TM), but they said it cost toomuch money.

One day, Marcia was in a foul mood and called Little Mommy aname. Little Mommy called Marcia another name. Then Marciasaid Little Mommy wasnt her friend anymore. This made LittleMommy really really mad. She punched Marcia in the face,grabbed the Pink Princess Townhouse (TM) and ran all the wayhome.

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That night, Little Mommys Mommy and Daddy came into herroom to speak with her.

Honey, said Little Mommys Mommy, we know you wanted aPink Princess Townhouse (TM) very much, and were sorry wecant get one for you.

Sweetheart, said Little Mommys Daddy, just because you wantsomething doesnt mean you can just take it. That Pink PrincessTownhouse (TM) belongs to someone else. It belongs to Marcia,doesnt it?

Little Mommy didnt say anything.

Little Mommys daddy sat down on her bed. Marcias mommytold us what happened today. She was very upset, he told her.She says you hit Marcia and you took her Pink Princess Town-house (TM).

Marcia called me a name! Said Little Mommy.

Honey, just because someone calls you a name doesnt mean youcan hit them, said Little Mommys Mommy.

Little Mommys Daddy looked very stern. You must never hitanyone! He said, unless they hit you rst.

Little Mommy snifed a little and then looked up.

What if they hit Abigail? She asked. Abigail was LittleMommys little sister.

Yes, said Mommys Daddy, if someone hit Abigail you could hit

them then.

Little Mommy thought for a moment. What if they were aboutto hit Abigail? She asked.

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The point... said Little Mommys Daddy, is that you dont get tohit people just because you are angry with them, or you wanttheir toys.

Tomorrow youre going to return Marcias Pink Princess Town-house (TM), said Little Mommys Mommy. And youre going toapologize. And youre also going to offer to do a favor for her to

make up for what you did. Do you understand?

Little Mommy sniffed again and nodded her head.

And do you understand about hitting? Asked Little MommysDaddy?

Little Mommy sniffed some more and said that she did.

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Miss Rachel? Asked Little Mommy. Miss Rachel, if it isnt OKto just take things from people, or to hit them when they haventhit you, then why can the government take my Mommy andDaddys money every year and why can they hurt them andthrow them in jail if they dont give it to them?

Oh Sweetie, said Miss Rachel who was very kind and patientwith little girls, thats different. Thats called taxes and thegovernment needs to take it so that it can build roads and postofces and schools for little children to go to.

Little Mommy was about to tell Miss Rachel how much she reallyneeded to have a Pink Princess Townhouse (TM), but Miss Rachelwent on:

Besides, she said, we live in something called a democracy andwhat that means is that the government represents all of thepeople, and all of the people control the government. So really,its not like theyre taking anything away from anyone.

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Little Mommy wasnt sure she understood all of this, but it didntmatter because a whole new world had just opened up for her.As she listened to Miss Rachels words, it dawned on her that

there was a way for her to have all the Pink Princess Town-houses (TM) she had ever wanted... and other toys besides!

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Little Mommy had learned a very important lesson that day. Shelearned that there was a way she could get what she wantedfrom other people, even if they didnt want to give it to her, andshe wouldnt have to hurt anyone or even threaten to hurt any-

one -- someone else would do that for her! Little Mommy wasbeginning to like the state!

...the only catch was that she had to wait until she turned 18before she could vote.

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By the time Mommy was old enough to vote, she no longerwanted a Pink Princess Townhouse (TM). But there were plentyof other things she did want: She thought people polluted toomuch; she thought drugs were bad; she was sad that peoplewere starving in Perspitania so she voted for a man who said hewould impose a new tax on gasoline, increase mandatory minimumsentences for drug offenders and send government money to helpthe people of Perspitania (she found out later that the money

ended up going to the military government there which waslargely responsible for the famine to begin with, and not to thepeople who were starving, but she had meant well.); and she wasa big supporter of the local baseball team, the Dinkytown Buz-zards, so she voted to spend taxpayers money to build them anew stadium. Mommy really liked the state!

When Mommy was a little older and had her own children, shestarted voting for other things: money for new sports equipmentin the local schools; money to revamp the school auditorium; laws

against serving junk food to children; the Happy School Dayslaw giving school administrators more authority to help childrenwith special needs; and more money to send school children on aeld trip to the state capital to learn about how governmentworks.

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Of course there were some things the government did that

Mommy didnt like so much. She didnt like war, and she didnt likethe government subsidizing big corporations and she didnt like itwhen the government came in and bulldozed some familys homebecause somebody else wanted to build a shopping mall.

But she told herself that since the government was controlled byThe People, The People just had to work harder to make suretheir government listened to them and did what they wanted itto, and then all the things she didnt like would stop. Mommyloved the state!

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One thing Mommy didnt realize was that in addition to taxingThe People to raise money for all the things it does, the govern-ment has another way of getting money. It just... makes it!

What that meant though, was that by the time that new moneygot to Mommy and Daddy, none of the money was worth as muchas it was at rst. This was called ination.

What that meant was that even though Mommy and Daddy nowhad a nice new shiny baseball stadium to look at, they couldn'tafford to buy tickets to any of the games there. They alsocouldnt buy new clothes for their children or make the insurancepayments on their cars or eat out any more, but Mommy didntregret voting for the baseball stadium because it was Good for

the Economy.

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Today, Mommy lives in a maximum-security state prison. Daddy isin another one, and their children are in a foster care facility.Mommy shares a cell with a woman named Gertie who hadbludgeoned her husband to death and then set re to theirhome. At rst Mommy was afraid of Gertie, but once she was

able to convince her that she really did believe her husband haddeserved it she found that Gerties outbursts became less fre-quent and the beatings less severe.

Every day, Mommy writes letters to her representatives in theState Capitol and in Washington, D.C., asking them to please helpher get out of prison and to help her family be together again.She is still waiting to hear from them, but this only strengthensher resolve because it means she hasnt yet done her duty as acitizen and needs to work harder to get her representatives to

listen to her. Shes thinking that next week she even might writea letter to the president himself. Mommy just loves the state!

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