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FindinG yourEXPAT EXPErTisE

PurPose & Passion While livinG abroad as an exPat Partner

By MAy El HABAcHi

re-inventing yourself on the Move

once the dust has settled from your international move, what do you do as a non-working expat partner? As non-working partners, we often bear the brunt of moving, whether it is by unpacking boxes, ensuring our paper work is in order

or helping our family settle well in the new location. But once the upheaval of the move is over, we’re often left wondering: how do we find our purpose and establish a meaningful life abroad? While not working may be appealing to some, it is difficult for most expat partners. According to the 2015 Expat Insider survey by InterNations, 60 percent of spouses find giving up their previous career difficult, and 65 percent are concerned about being financially dependent on their partner. As a result, many expat partners want to continue working while living abroad, but only 11 percent manage to find jobs because of language barriers and work permit restrictions. But where there are challenges, there are also opportunities. Re-inventing Yourself and Finding your Passions

Rita Golstein-Galperin, expat career coach and founder of Expat Renaissance (www.expatrenaissance.com), believes that one of the best ways to create a fulfilling and meaningful life abroad is to view your expat experience as a gift. She says, “This is not the graveyard of your professional aspirations, rather a unique chance to pause, think and start afresh without all the background noise.” In order to do that, one must first let go of who they used to be before moving abroad. Golstein-Galperin says, “Many of my clients are stuck in who they used to be for way too long.” She suggests, “Instead of obsessing about ‘what could have been,’ grab this chance to open your eyes to the true and unique value you create – or can create.” And that’s exactly what Erum Farqui Gulmann, founder of ‘Total Salads’ food blog (www.totalsalads.com), did. As a former investment banker, Gulmann found it difficult to continue her banking career when she moved to Dubai with her husband and a newborn baby. She says, “Working in a bank requires a lot of time commitment which I was not able to give as an expat with a small baby and a husband who travels a lot, and no family to help us out in our new location.” She adds, “I wanted to do something that gave me flexibility and that I would easily be able to take with me whenever we were posted again.” This situation led Gulmann to re-invent herself and discover what she is truly passionate about. For Gulmann, finding her passion was easy. She knew from the start that she wanted to create something around healthy eating. She says, “I have always had a predilection for healthy eating.” And that’s where her journey with ‘Total Salads’ began. For others, however, finding their passions is not so straightforward. Zida Zainal, a former IT specialist at Shell and now a Zumba instructor, took a while to find something that truly motivated and inspired her, and it came about in the most

Rita Golstein-Galperin

Erum Farqui Gulmann

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unexpected way. “I was teaching my son to ride a bicycle and I had to run after him to school, but I felt so out of shape. I thought to myself, this is not good; I need to get fit again.” Soon after this experience, Zainal did her first Zumba class and the rest was history. To find your passion, Golstein-Galperin suggests doing something you love or are interested in. Contrary to popular belief, people can have many passions. She says, “You can have dozens of passions… and limiting your mindset to only one is really holding back your abilities.” True to her word, Golstein-Galperin had six different careers before becoming an expat career coach. She explains that having many passions allows you to accept different parts of your identity and opens you up to new opportunities. Like everything else, however, passions can change over time. She says, “Something you were completely into 15 years ago might no longer interest you, and that’s ok.” The key is to discover something that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning.

Facing and Overcoming Challenges

While finding your passion is an important step to a fulfilling life abroad, it is only the tip of the iceberg. Now comes the hard part of making it happen. Although changing paths can be scary, what’s even scarier is not taking action. Expat career expert Golstein-Galperin says, “Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” Chunyan Shu, Ph.D. graduate and an expat spouse living in Brunei, will soon leave the financial comfort of expat life to embark on her new career adventure in Singapore. While she is excited about taking a new job there, as she feels validated professionally after not working for four years, she is also scared about moving her family to a new place. “I am a bit scared,” she says. “Taking this job means that I am taking the first step to move our family to a new place. It’s a local contract, which means I have to take care of everything myself. This decision will also limit my husband’s options, as he will probably have to settle for a local contract too. But all in all I believe that we will be fine.” Shu is not alone in facing her fears and overcoming challenges to pursue her passion and aspirations. Gulmann also found that launching her food blog was harder than expected, particularly when it came to making money. She says, “A lot of companies expect bloggers to collaborate for free, but that doesn’t really pay the bills.” She adds, “Sometimes, working for free opens up great opportunities, but sometimes all it opens up is more opportunities to work for free.” She advises other expats to value themselves and their work, as this will make others value them as well.

Learning and Evolving

Expat partners who have stepped outside their comfort zone to create a meaningful life abroad have learned to evolve and grow from their experience, whether professionally or personally. Zainal, who was never a “people person”, became more sociable and outgoing from Zumba. She says, “Being a Zumba instructor didn’t just reinvent me in the sense that I’m doing something different, but it also made me more emotionally aware because it forced me to do something I didn’t want to do before – make eye contact.” Gulmann also found that by re-inventing herself, she learned a lot of things she didn’t learn in school or university. She learned about web design, coding, photography and, most importantly, the art and science of making great salads. She says, “At first, I would spend a lot of time trying to balance out a great salad recipe. Now, I can taste it and I know immediately what ingredient is missing and how much to add.” Whatever you choose to do to make your life abroad meaningful, expat life provides a lot of opportunities if you choose to embrace it. As Golstein-Galperin says, “Life is too short not to pursue what makes your heart sing. It’s not about a flashy job title or a successful business; it’s about finding what makes you thrive.”

Chunyan Shu, Ph.D.

Zida Zainal