Introduction to…

Four supportive steps to help young children identify

their feelings, learn healthy self-control and reduce

challenging behavior.

Trainer Introduction

Nefertiti Bruce Poyner, M.Ed.

Nefertiti Bruce Poyner, M.Ed.

Nefertiti Bruce Poyner, M.Ed.

Nefertiti Bruce Poyner, M.Ed.

Nefertiti Bruce Poyner, M.Ed.

Connection

See how many connections

can be made throughout the room

I ask that you…

• Be critical

• Be open-minded

• Ask questions

• Check out our website www.MoreFLIPIT.org

FLIP IT began with

Hayley

Fat, Feeble,

Female!

The DECA Program!

Four Steps

Feelings Limits Inquiries Prompts

1. Feelings

2. Limits

3. Inquiries

4. Prompts

Oh my goodness Hayley…You are SO

MAD!

Remember we agreed that we were going

to keep each other safe.

What can we do with your mad?

Could we try blowing bubbles to take deep

breaths…

FLIP IT with Hayley

Prompts aren’t easy!

NO!

*#$& Off

Prompts:

How about

a walk?

Want to

squeeze play doh?

Can I rub

your back?

Finally…

“Can I scratch your feet?”

Oh my goodness Hayley…You are SO

MAD!

Remember we agreed that we were going

to keep each other safe.

What can we do with your mad?

How about we try scratching those feet?

FLIP IT with Hayley

1. Feelings

2. Limits

3. Inquiries

4. Prompts

Eventually…

We all have a Hayley!

Think about yours…

FLIP IT Overview

FLIP IT can be used for:

• targeted interventions for a child displaying specific behavioral concerns.

OR

• every day minor challenges and conflicts with one child or with multiple children.

FLIP IT is:

• Best practice made simple

• Strength-Based

• Commonsense

• Effective

• Portable

• Easy to remember

• Easy to share

• Applicable in a variety of situations

• Four simple steps

Signs and Symbols

Feelings Limits Inquiries Prompts

FLIP IT Timing:

FLIP IT is best practiced by using all 4

steps in fairly quick succession (1-10

minutes start to finish). Experienced

FLIP IT users may find that only 1 or 2

steps are needed to resolve the situation.

FLIP IT Notes (1):

• FLIP IT is not the ONLY strategy one should use

• Use FLIP IT in combination with other strategies

• Requires consistency, it is not magic

FLIP IT Notes (2):

• For children with more severe behavior issues seek support from a mental health professional.

• FLIP IT considers the root causes for a child’s behavior but does not center on the functional behavioral assessment process.

Relationships, Empathy & Ick

Relationships are the foundation!

Every strategy is only as good as

the relationship it is built on!

Empathy

• Empathy is the ability to

see and feel from another

person’s perspective.

• Showing empathy to a

child is the first step in

teaching a child to have

empathy for others.

Peaches Tantrum

ICK refers to the negativity or risk factors in an individual’s life. ICK includes factors within ourselves, our families, and our environment that make us feel bad and less able to handle challenges.

Step 1 – FEELINGS

Underline the important words in

the Feelings definition…

Step 1 – FEELINGS

Defined

Begin the FLIP IT

process with Step 1 –

FEELINGS. Gently talk

with children about their

feelings and what you are

seeing and hearing as a

result of their emotions.

Help children identify the

root feelings causing the

behavior.

Feelings are at the root of all behavior. When

children have good feelings at their roots,

positive behavior will grow like a healthy tree.

When behavior is negative, we must

check the roots for ICK.

FLIP IN or FLIP OUT

If we address the behavior without addressing

the root feelings, the ICK will keep growing,

and the negative behavior will reoccur.

Sometimes we FLOP…

When we respond to the first thing we

see - the child’s BEHAVIORS - instead of

the FEELINGS.

Reacting to behavior…

1. “Stop breaking those crayons or you’ll

get a time out!”

2. “We keep our crayons whole so that we

can play with them again and again.”

3. “You are hurting the crayon’s feelings.”

4. “We can’t break crayons because we are

on a very tight budget!”

How To…

• Change a Habit

• Use Some Tools

• Talk About All

Feelings

• Keep is Simple

• Just Start

How To…

• “I see you are doing _____. I wonder if you are feeling _____.”

• “Wow, it really looks like you are feeling _____.”

• “I notice you are doing _____. What is going on inside?”

• “Your body is getting antsy. Are you feeling nervous?”

• “I’m so sorry you are feeling so _____.”

• “What are you feeling?”

• “Point to the face that tells how you are feeling.”

To learn more about

the other steps…

Step 2 – LIMITS

Defined

Once you have talked with a child about what she is feeling, proceed when necessary to Step 2 – LIMITS. Remind children of the positive limits and expectations you have for their behavior. Loving and simple limits help surround children with a sense of consistency, safety and trust.

23

Limits should be…

1. Positively worded

2. Kept simple

3. Based on familiar rules

4. Descriptive

5. Stated without a “BUT”

6. Reviewed during non-

challenging moments

We keep ourselves safe

We keep each other safe

We keep our things safe _____________

We use gentle touches

We use kind words

We listen with our eyes and ears

Step 3 – INQUIRIES

Defined Once you have talked with a child about feelings and limits, move on to Step 3 – INQUIRIES. Encourage children to think about solutions to their challenges. Ask questions that promote problem-solving and healthy coping skills. Inquiries invite children to think, learn and gain self-control.

33

Are we raising children who can

THINK through a problem?

What’s an…

Step 4 – PROMPTS

Defined If the child is having difficulty

problem-solving after you have talked with her about feelings and limits and have made an inquiry, move on to Step 4 – PROMPTS. Provide creative cues, clues, and suggestions for children having difficulty problem-solving. Enthusiastic, bright ideas can lead the way to better problem-solving skills.

41

Prompts

www.MoreFLIPIT.org

• The book

• Video of FLIP IT in action

• Answers to FAQs

• Spanish translation

• Testimonials

• Online Course

• Live Training

• Train-the-Trainer

• Free Resources