10 EQUANIMITY | SUMMER EDITION 2013

self expression Gloria Loring

Coincidence Speaking:

Gloria Loring and God’s Anonymity

By Ronda Bowen

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Gloria Loring self expression

Gloria Loring wears a lot of different hats. She is an actress, and you may have seen her on the daytime television show, Days of Our Lives. She is a performer and a composer. You may have heard her sing “The Prayer” with her son, Robin Thicke, or perhaps you are familiar with her

song, “Friends and Lovers.” She is an activist who works to bring awareness to diabetes research. She is an author, and she believes in coincidences. Recently, I had the enormous honor of talking with her about her latest book, Coincidence is God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous.

RONDA BOWEN (RB): You have your hands in a lot of things! Among your titles are recording artist, composer, author, actress, mother, and spokeswoman. How do you manage your time so that you can be most productive?

GLORIA LORING (GL): [laughs] Well, I just do what’s in front of me to do, although I do tend to wander. When there’s no exact deadline, I’ll do the laundry and find other things that need to be done. But I’m fairly responsible, so when someone gives me a deadline, I’ll work hard and then feel this great sense of accomplishment!

RB: How did you come to write your book, Coincidence is God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous? What gave you the idea to sit down and do it?

GL: I had a series of extraordinary coincidences come into my life. I came to a point in my life where some great things had unfolded and some really painful things had started to unfold. I don’t think we start to face the painful things until we are strong enough to do that, and I knew I needed to be stronger. Because of the pain, I started to meditate. In the presence of my meditation teacher, even more coincidences happened. It made me more aware of the phrase someone had said to me years before, “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

My personal continuum of coincidences provided evidence that something much larger than me was working in my life. At one point, it became clear that I needed to write down my stories of coincidences. I noticed that when I told others about the “Coincidence is…” quote, most people immediately connected to it. I then learned Albert Einstein had said it and that inspired me to research the subject of coincidence and find out how scientific observation intersects with spiritual understanding.

There are two basic types of coincidences. A mirror coincidence is something that reflects an important issue in your life. A guidance coincidence offers guidance that is what you may need to know at that time. I was at an audition, at a very confused point in my life, and I saw, on the wall, this Rilke quote:

“Be patient toward all that is involved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers that cannot be given you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

I was struggling in confusion, thinking I had to make a difficult decision, and those words in foot-tall letters were right in front of me. They gave me just what I needed.

I believe that everything we truly need is close by. Coincidences offer us the opportunity to see who and what we are attracting. We are participants in our own lives. Sometimes very difficult circumstances arise. Even then, there may be an opportunity. We can ask, “What is this challenge asking of me?” In many cases, it may be asking that I have more patience, forgiveness, compassion, or gentleness.

Andrew Weil says, “Mystics believe there is a conspiracy in the universe on their behalf.” I used to be the kind of person who felt, “I’m all alone in the world.” Now, I realize I have what I need even if I can’t see it at that moment.

RB: What is the most important thing you want readers to take away from your book?

GL: Life is a magnificent adventure, and you are not alone. Very possibly, what you need in order to take your life and your understanding to the next level, to lift you higher so you have a bigger view, very possibly, that very thing is just around the corner. Very possibly, right now, the comfort you seek is close by.

RB: In an interview, you mentioned that you are in agreement with the basic principles of The Secret. You said, “What we need is just waiting for us to make a move toward it.” Can you explain this more?

GL: Well, I think its best exemplified by the way I raised $1 million for diabetes research. My four-year-old son, Brennan, was diagnosed with diabetes. He asked me, “Momma, when will my shots be over?” I told him, “I don’t know, but I’m working on it.”

Then I joined the cast of Days of Our Lives. In the dressing room, I noticed that cast members exchanged recipes. I decided to create a Days cookbook to keep my promise to my son (I’m working on it) and gathered the recipes, autographs, and photos from all the cast members. Ten months later, I had everything ready to go but no money to pay for printing. One day, a little business card mysteriously appeared in my dressing room that said, “Expect a Miracle.” The next day, I was in Houston, where I met the

self expression Gloria Loring

Gloria Loring and her Son, Robin Thicke

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benefactor who helped pay for the printing. That’s the story that began my journey with coincidences. By the way, to this day, I do not know who put that card in my dressing room.

RB: You mentioned that there are things we can do in influence the role coincidence plays in our lives. Can you give some examples?

GL: We are participants in the unfolding of our lives. We’re getting feedback from the world around us: the coinciding of meaningful events and the inner form, intuition, that gut feeling. In Chapter Four, I list the four “Is” of action that I realized after we raised the $1 million for diabetes research with the Days of Our Lives Celebrity Cookbook.

First, there is an impulse, a thought or feeling, that is born of inspiration. My impulse was, “I want to do something to help my son with his diabetes.” Then we set an intention. Mine was, “I’ll create the cookbook to raise money for research.” Then there’s an inventory of all our resources. I told everyone I knew about the cookbook, and people stepped up to help me with its completion. The last “I” is investment. Even though I had no idea how I would pull this off, I proceeded with developing the cookbook as though it had to come true. I invested my time and heart and energy. Even when I had moments of doubt, I thought, “I can’t let this fail. Something has to happen.” And something did. The card showed up in my dressing room, and the benefactor showed up 24 hours after that.

RB: In the last chapter of your book, you say that there are two choices, fear and love. Can you explain that a bit more?

GL: I read an article by a woman who said there are only two choices, fear or love. There are many facets of fear: doubt, anger, rage, hatred. Then, there’s love and its companions: kindness, appreciation, compassion. I thought it sounded too simplistic at the time, but now I agree: we are either looking for the good (love) or we’re separating ourselves from the good (fear).

RB: Since equanimity is about leading a balanced lifestyle, both spiritually and physically, what do you do to ensure that you live a balanced life?

GL: Every morning I possibly can, I begin with meditation. I also read uplifting material and center myself in inspiration. I believe it’s the Dalai Lama who said, “The tree doesn’t wait until the storm comes to grow roots.” To me, a balanced life doesn’t mean that all

aspects of my life are in perfect balance but that I meet my life from my center, from my true source.

RB: What final piece of advice would you like to leave our readers with?

GL: You are not alone. You are connected to what you need. No matter what is happening at any moment, there’s always goodness and comfort close by.

Gloria Loring self expression