god bless bing - the mckook diaires

8/13/2019 God Bless Bing - The McKook Diaires

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God Bless Bing- 2013- The McCook Diaries (with a cameo appearance by Kelcy Ruggles)

BackgroundI founded a Cloud technology company called Cloudhouse. There is also a Spanishwebsite called www.cloudhouse.es which sells yurts and yurt holidays and all things yurty.

Late last year I looked at some of the emails that our Cloud Technology company websiteCloudhouse.com was getting and I found this email.

From: Cloudhouse Website

Subject: New submission from Contact Form

Date: 26 November 2013 18:39:15 GMT

To: Info

Message

hey, can you send me a brochure for your yurt.

Thanks

Bing

Name

Bing Dalrymple

Email

b*********@g******.com




To: Info

Message

Hello, anyone home! brochure on your yurt please

Name

Bing Dalrymple

Email

b*********@g******.com
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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To: Info

Message

once upon a time, there was a guy called Bing. He wanted to give Cloudhouse some business.. Theywere not interested.

The end

Name

Bing Dalrymple

Email

b*********@g******.com

From: Cloudhouse Website Subject: New submission from Contact FormDate: 26 November 2013 18:39:15 GMTTo: Info

Message

Sirs, I must express my sincere apology for my previous outburst. I now realise that you are not thecompany that provides yurts in Spain. I have now requested my brochure from the correct company.

I wish you all the best in selling computers and not yurts!

With the warmest of regards

Bing

Name

Bing Dalrymple

Email

b*********@g******.com

I then forwarded this to a friend:

On 13 Dec 2013, at 15:23, Sean Corbett wrote:

Tim, I give you Bing.

Sean
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:b*********@g******.commailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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From:Tim Ingham [mailto:tim.in***8@virt******.co.uk]

Sent:13 December 2013 15:28

To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Re: bing

That is fucking funny....... i love Bing

And then I wrote to Bing himself

On Fri, Dec 13, 2013 at 3:50 PM, Sean Corbett wrote:

Dear Bing,

My friend Tim loves you. See email attached. And I have to say yours was the funniest work email I got all

year. Thank you. I hope you have found your yurt.

Happy Christmas

Sean

From:Bing Dalrymple


To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Re: FW: bing

Well hello Sean.

Thank you for your email. I must say I was a little red faced when I realized the error I had made. I wont lie to you, Ann

marched me back to my computer when I told her and she said, you write back to those folks Bing and you apologize or sohelp me Ill wup you in front of your friends like last time. She will too, shes a good woman but she has a fiery temper and she aint gotten any smaller through the years.

We did get the yurt brochure in the end but decided not to go. I said to myself, Bing what is a Nebraska boy like you doinggoing to Spain at your age. And you know what, Ann agreed and that was that. No, it will be the lakes of Missouri again forus next year, its getting a little crowded but Im always up for a chipmunk toss. I could hit those things further than anyoneelse in McCook in my day, probably what caught Anns eye I guess, who knows.

Anyhow, a farmhands work is never done, I had better go and help out and whatnot, be sure to let us know if you are everin Nebraska.

God bless,

Bing

On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 2:42 PM, Sean Corbett wrote:

Bing, thank you so much for your email. There is nothing wrong with going to Spain at any age! Although the

actor Peter OToole called it Pontefract with scorpions, I have to say I really like it over there. Have you been

to Europe at all, France or Italy maybe, or the UK?

Thank you for your kind invite. We go to the US a few times a year but I have never yet been to Nebraska. Best

wishes and wishing you and Ann a very Happy Christmas. Sean
mailto:tim.in***8@virt******.co.ukmailto:tim.in***8@virt******.co.ukmailto:tim.in***8@virt******.co.ukmailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:tim.in***8@virt******.co.uk


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From:Bing Dalrymple


To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Re: FW: bing

Hello Sean,

Thank you for your holiday well wishes. Ann and I send our very best to your and your family.

I have to say that it is unfortunate that you have wished us well at a time that is most distressing for Ann and I.

Randy, our eldest grandson has let our family down very badly. He has got himself into trouble only a day after

coming back home to McCook from Afghanistan.

He got himself so drunk that he could hardly speak, then he walks out the bar and punched a horse right in the

face. This is McCook Sean and we are country folk as you can imagine! When you find out that the horse that

you have just knocked out belongs to Dennis Berry, Mayor of McCook let me tell you, your troubles have just

started my friend!

This has really cast a shadow over our Christmas. Randys wife Beth is due any day now, Ann is as mad as a

cut snake and ready to wup Randy with a rubber hose.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family who, I am sure, are less of a continual concern than

ours.

God bless,

Bing

From:Bing Dalrymple


To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Fwd: Incident 18th December

Hello Sean,

Thank you for your email. Well I can tell you things have been real busy here over the holiday. Beth had a girl

on Christmas eve, Dolly Dalrymple. Named after you know who... so initials are DD! Randy thought this was

real funny but Ann thinks it's disrespectful to women and that kind of thing. Randy turned up to the hospital

sober and without punching anyone, so we are all real proud of him...

As for the incident with the horse, well this has all blown over now. I include the email from Dennis to me toexplain what happened. Randy had to do the Bull today but he took it pretty well and as Dennis says, that's a

real easy ride for a guy who socked the mayor's horse!

Thanks for your well wishes Sean. I have been a Grandaddy for a while, Randy is my grandson. He is the eldestson of our son (who we also named Sean) so whole new generation just arrived! Good times ahead for the

Dalrymples!

God bless,

Great Grandaddy Bing


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---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Dennis Berry

Date: Sat, Dec 21, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Subject: Incident 18th December

To:b*********@gmail.com

Hello Bing,

You and I have known each other for many years. We have had our differences, sure, but I respect you as amember of our close community and this is why I am addressing you from my personal email and I suggest we

keep this off the record.

I am talking about the incident involving Randy and my horse, Nancy, outside Old Sarge's on West on the 18th

December at 11.15am.

Goddammit Bing this is UNACCEPTABLE! The only reason I am keeping this from the books is that Randy

has been fighting for his country, I am also real sorry to see that he has lost his ears. So I will put this incident

down to rehabilitation, but it is the last time!

Taking this in to account, I am not going to fine him and whatnot, but because I am REAL PISSED! I am going

to make him do the Bull. Don't fight me on this Bing, he only has to do it once but he is doing it!!

I know his daddy is gone, so you have got to talk to him, Beth needs him right now and he needs to grow up.

Ok enough said... Please thank Ann for the flowers, it was real nice of her, I will get Beverly-Marie to fix up

that dinner date and all... Thank you for your concern. Gus is fixing Nancy's teeth but she is pretty shaken up by

the whole thing.

God bless you and your family but pull Randy into line!

Dennis

From:Sean Corbett


To:'Bing Dalrymple'

Subject:RE: FW: bing

Hi Bing,

Well I am truly sorry to hear that about Randy.

In his defence, I have to say those boys have been through a really hard time, and if its anything like it is for

our British troops, we tend not to be very good at looking after them when they come back with PostTraumatic Stress Disorder. They have been in the most appalling conditions and many have seen their friends

shot or blown up next to them.

I am not condoning knocking out horses, of course, but I do hope he gets some understanding from people as

well, once hes had a wuppin! Randy might have some really deep trauma and he may need help, the hardest

thing to ask for sometimes. Dennis Berry, I hope, will see not to take it personally if that is the case.

Have a great Christmas yourself and of course looking forward to becoming a grand-parent!

Seasons good wishes to all,

Sean
mailto:b*********@gmail.commailto:b*********@gmail.commailto:b*********@gmail.commailto:b*********@gmail.com


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On Tue, Jan 7, 2014 at 2:43 PM, Sean Corbett wrote:

Congratulations Bing on being a Grandaddy and I am glad things have calmed down in MCkook with Randy and

Dennis.

Please tell me, what does doing The Bull mean?

Sean

From:Bing Dalrymple

Sent:08 January 2014 23:40

To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Re: Incident 18th December

Hello Sean,

It is very nice to hear from you, Ann and I send our warmest regards and wish you and your family a very

Happy New Year for 2014.

So let me explain our NFL team is called McCook Bison and we call the mascot, The Bull. No one ever

wants to be The Bull due to usually having cow crap thrown at you during the game, so doing The Bull often

gets dispensed as some kind of punishment (as it did by Dennis to Randy for punching his horse).

Let me tell you, the girls at the Nebraska bull semen collection facility, where Ann works, very much enjoyed

Randys humiliation, and Anns best friend, Kelcy Ruggles, took a photo on her phone camera.

Ann helped me include it to this email, so here he is paying his dues to the community for his wrongdoing

ha!

Sean, tell me, where do you live? Are you British? Do you live in London or maybe Manchester?

God bless,

Bing
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


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From:Sean Corbett

Sent:15 January 2014 19:10

To:Bing Dalrymple

Subject:Re: Incident 18th December

Bing, I will reply in more length shortly. Your emails have brought tears to my eyes of laughter. It is just so

funny this picture and it has made my Christmas.

I will be in touch. And my warmest regards to you and Ann. Please thank her for that picture. Just brilliant

Sean

(P.S I live in London)

Sean Corbett

From:Bing Dalrymple

Sent:04 February 2014 22:25

To:Sean Corbett

Subject:Birthday invitation

Hello Sean,

I hope that you are keeping well. We have had some wonderful family news.

You see, some years ago, our son, Sean, decided that he would be happier living an alternative lifestyle. As you can imagine, a town like McCook does not accept this sort of thing easily and there wasa real hoopla when it all came out. Sean ran away to live in Denver, where this sort of thing is lessunusual.

Ann and I have learned to accept things over time, but it has been difficult for Randy and he hasnever really accepted his daddy living life as a woman.


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Of course, Sean (or Patty as he is now known) would like to see his granddaughter Dolly. Randy hasaccepted to meet if he wears pants and no wig and makeup.

This will all be happening at a joint Birthday party that Ann and I will be holding in May.

Sean, as we have been writing for some time now, Ann and I would be honored if you could come to

McCook to be part of our celebrations. I have included an invitation to this email.

God Bless

Bing


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The END or is it?

god bless bing - the mckook diaires

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