gw 101 parents are a priority & letting go: the process begins

GW 101

Parents Are A Priority & Letting Go: The Process

Begins

Managing “Change” for Parents

Listen.Trust your intuition.Be flexible.Be comfortable with ambiguity.Keep a positive attitude.Being “nice” matters.Know yourself (and how change affects you).See the big picture.

Helpful Tips for Parents of College Students

Do not ask if they are homesick.The power of association can be a dangerous thing. The first few days and weeks of school are filled with excitement; adjusting to new people and new lifestyles takes up a majority of a student’s time and concentration. So, unless they’re reminded of it (by a well-meaning parent), your son or daughter will probably be able to escape severe bouts of homesickness. And they may not tell you this, but they really do miss you.


Ask Questions (but not too many).College freshmen have a tendency to resent interference from mom or dad about their collegiate lifestyle-but still yearn for the security of knowing that their family members are still interested.

Avoid questions or statements that begin with, “I have the right to know” or I’m paying the bills, so I expect you to tell me everything. And, if you ask, be prepared for an answer you may not like. Your student is making a lot of choices for the first time and despite whether you like it or not, those choices are theirs to make. Honest inquiries and open discussions can strengthen the bond you have with them.


Expect Change (but not too much).Your son or daughter will change. It’s natural, inevitable, and can be inspiring. College, and the experiences associated with it, can affect changes in social, vocational, and personal behavior. Remember that they will be the same person you sent away to school, aside from interest changes and personality revisions. Don’t expect too much too soon.

Maturation is not an instantaneous or overnight process, so be patient.


Do not worry excessively about “down in the dumps” phone calls, facebook messages, tweets, texts or emails.

Often when trouble becomes too much for a freshman to handle (failing a test, an ended relationship), the only place to turn is home. Often, unfortunately, this is the only time the urge to communicate is felt so strongly, so you never get to hear about the “A” paper or the new significant other.

Changes in mood or behavior may be an early indication of emotional or psychological distress. Encourage responsibility by helping your son or daughter define the problem and identify possible solutions. GW has many resources to help your student, including counseling.


Do not visit unannounced.Students like to know that you are coming. Visits by parents (especially when accompanied by shopping sprees and/or dinner out) are another part of first year events that new students are reluctant to admit liking but appreciate greatly.

If you do visit unannounced you better bear something unbelievable!


Write. Email. Text. Skype. Tweet. Although students are eager to experience their newfound independence, most are still anxious for family ties and the security those ties bring. There’s nothing more depressing than a week of empty mailboxes. Remind them that you’re still around. (Warning: Do not expect a reply to every letter, email, text or tweet you send).


Send care packages.Students love to get care packages from the family, especially during midterms and finals.

Think about sending homemade snacks, money, articles from the hometown newspaper, gift cards, snapshots of the family, CD’s, books, stamps, and envelopes.


Do not tell them these are the best years of their lives.

Freshmen year (and the other three as well) can be full of discovery, inspiration, good times, and new people as well as indecision, disappointment, and mistakes. However, except in retrospect, it’s not the good times that stand out.

Parents who perpetuate the “best years” myth are working against their student’s development. Those who accept their student’s highs and lows are providing the support and encouragement where it is needed most.


Trust them (and yourself).Finding oneself is a difficult enough process without feeling like the people whose opinions you respect most are second-guessing your own second-guessing. Believe in your son or daughter, have faith, and communicate your trust.


Allow them to fly, but leave room in the nest!Even though they are spreading their wings, they are not gone forever, I can assure you!

Managing “Change” for Parents

Listen.Trust your intuition.Be flexible.Be comfortable with ambiguity.Keep a positive attitude.Being “nice” matters.Know yourself (and how change affects you).See the big picture.

gw 101 parents are a priority & letting go: the process begins

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