hardwoodparoxysm 2012 season preview
TRANSCRIPT
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
1/131
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
2/131
Letter From The Editor Emeritus
What you're about to read... is fucking awesome.
It really is. If you love basketball, and you do, because if you didn't, why would you be reading this, it's got the stuff you
crave. Stats, analysis, philosophy, meanderings, fictional renderings, it is everything Hardwood Paroxysm has been over
five years, condensed into one publication.
This season in the NBA has somehow raised the bar. 2011 was a phenomenal year, with the Heat in their first run, the
Lakers entering as a champion and leaving in shambles, the Spurs' transition to speedball, the Thunder's rise to
relevance, and the Mavericks' phenomenal validation of so many careers. 2012 was under the shadow of the lockout, a
scorched-earth reality in which only the strongest, the Heat, survived.
But this season? You have Durant entering his zenith, Rose returning from injury, the Heat looking to repeat with LeBron
in Shiva mode. You have the Lakers as an unstoppable battleship and Boston as the kind of savvy team that fans fall in
love with.
And yet, at Paroxysm, we always want to talk about the lesser teams. Andre Drummond living up to potential in Detroit.
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist hustlejunking his way to rebounds and stat-filling on a terrible Charlotte team. Klay Thompson
from the perimeter, Ilyasova in the post. Lillard on the break. We're about youth and about upside and about basketball,
always, always, always.
I hope you enjoy this publication as much as we've enjoyed writing it. So, like, kind of.
I want to thank Eric Maroun for his help in organizing the publication of this document and Maddison Bond for his
illustrations to bring the spirit of the site to life. I want to thank Jared Dubin and Amin Vafa, co-Editors-in-Chief for
helping with keeping this thing on a timeline and solving logistical issues.
But mostly I want to thank our extremely talented and hardworking staff for committing to this project. I never thought
we'd be able to pull off something like this, and it's a testament to their work ethic that you're reading it now.
With that, enjoy the 2012 Hardwood Paroxysm Season Preview.
Best,
Matt Moore
Editor Emeritus
Hardwood Paroxysm
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
3/131
Table of Contents
Guide to the Preview .............................................................................................................................................................. 4
Atlanta Hawks ......................................................................................................................................................................... 5
Boston Celtics .......................................................................................................................................................................... 9
Brooklyn Nets ........................................................................................................................................................................ 13
Charlotte Bobcats.................................................................................................................................................................. 17Chicago Bulls ......................................................................................................................................................................... 21
Cleveland Cavaliers ............................................................................................................................................................... 24
Dallas Mavericks ................................................................................................................................................................... 29
Denver Nuggets ..................................................................................................................................................................... 33
Detroit Pistons ...................................................................................................................................................................... 38
Golden State Warriors .......................................................................................................................................................... 43
Roundtable Intermission Rookie Edition ........................................................................................................................... 46
Houston Rockets ................................................................................................................................................................... 49
Indiana Pacers ....................................................................................................................................................................... 53
Los Angeles Clippers .............................................................................................................................................................. 57
Los Angeles Lakers ................................................................................................................................................................ 60
Memphis Grizzlies ................................................................................................................................................................. 64
Miami Heat............................................................................................................................................................................ 68
Milwaukee Bucks .................................................................................................................................................................. 72
Minnesota Timberwolves ..................................................................................................................................................... 75
New Orleans Hornets ............................................................................................................................................................ 79
New York Knicks .................................................................................................................................................................... 82
Roundtable Intermission ....................................................................................................................................................... 86
Oklahoma City Thunder ........................................................................................................................................................ 89
Orlando Magic ....................................................................................................................................................................... 93
Philadelphia 76ers ................................................................................................................................................................. 96
Phoenix Suns ....................................................................................................................................................................... 100
Portland Trail Blazers .......................................................................................................................................................... 104
Sacramento Kings ................................................................................................................................................................ 107
San Antonio Spurs ............................................................................................................................................................... 112
Toronto Raptors .................................................................................................................................................................. 115
Utah Jazz ............................................................................................................................................................................. 118
Washington Wizards ........................................................................................................................................................... 124
HP Season Predictions - Team ............................................................................................................................................ 128
HP Season Predictions Individual ..................................................................................................................................... 129
Contributors ........................................................................................................................................................................ 130
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
4/131
Guide to the Preview
1. Each teams final 2011-12 record and division finish.
2. Each teams current owner, general manager, and
coach.
3. Each teams stats and league rankings for the 2011-
12 season. Ranks of 1-10 in a statistical category are
colored green, 11-20 are colored black, and 21-30
are colored red. Stats preceded by Own reflect a teams
offensive possessions. Stats preceded by Opp reflect a
teamsopponents possessions. All numbers are
courtesy ofHoopData.com. Stat definitions:
a. Offensive Efficiency: Points scored per 100
possessions.
b. Defensive Efficiency: Points allowed per 100
possessions.
c. eFG: Effective Field Goal Percentage; a weighted
efficiency metric adjusted for three pointers.
d. FTR: Free Throw Rate; Calculated as free throws
attempted/field goals attempted.
e. TOR: Turnover Rate; Percentage of possessions ending in a turnover.
f. ORR: Offensive Rebound Rate; Percentage of offensive rebounds grabbed by a team.
4. Free Agents Signed includes the players previous team in parentheses. Free Agents Lost includes the
players new team for 2012-13. Draft Picks includes a players draft position.
5. Each teams salary obligations through the 2016-17 season. All salary figures are courtesy of HoopsHype.com and
StorytellersContracts.info, and players are listed at each position in order of the teams projected depth chart. Note:
Salaries and depth chart information is accurate as of posting, but may change when roster cuts are made on 10/29.
Additionally, each team will have a section titled Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketball which addresses an
overarching question surrounding the team along with a selection of three of the following ten sections:
Perhaps I Can Help You With That Hump. What Hump? A description of hurdles facing the team
Freakish Numbers And I Don't Mean That Dirty Number 8 An odd or interesting stat about the team
Doomsday Vs. Manna From HeavenEach teams best case and worst case scenarios for the upcoming year
Ask Not For Whom The Bell Trolls, It's Trollin' For...A rant about a player or coach who may be SOL
Mystery Statistics Theater A blind statistical comparison between a player on the team and another NBA player
Jesus Christ Your Team Sucks A highlighting of the worst aspect about a teamI Had A Dream Last Night And It Looked Just Like A Dream A bizarre occurrence that would change the team
Listen All Y'all This Is Sabotage - Were not saying this player/coach/exec. is a double-agent, but if he were...
MVM: Most Valuable MemeAnything that the team or a player on the team does which could become a meme
The Transcendent and WonderfulA highlighting ofa certain player on a team in a unique way
We hope that you enjoy the preview, and please let any of us on the staff know if you have any corrections to it.
http://www.basketball-reference.com/http://www.basketball-reference.com/ -
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
5/131
Atlanta Hawks
(40-26, 2nd
in Southeast)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 102.4 98.6 50.02 48.00 25.9 24.7 13.39 14.38 23.87 25.63
Rank 14th 6th 8th 10th 21st 6th 12th 6th
26th 7th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Lou Williams (PHI) Jason Collins (BOS) John Jenkins (23rd) Acquired Anthony Morrow, Jordan Farmar,
Jordan Williams, DeShawn Stevenson,
Johan Petro, and a 2017 second-round pick
from Brooklyn for Joe Johnson.
Acquired Devin Harris from Utah for
Marvin Williams. Acquired the rights to Sofoklis Schortsaniti
from LA Clippers for Willie Green.
Acquired Kyle Korver from Chicago for a
trade exception and cash considerations.
Kirk Hinrich (CHI) Mike Scott (43rd)
Jannero Pargo (WAS)
Vladimir Radmanovic
(CHI)
Jerry Stackhouse
(BRK)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Jeff Teague $2,433,077 $3,469,568 $0 $0 $0 $2,433,077
Devin Harris $8,500,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $8,500,000
SHOOTING GUARD SALARIES
Anthony Morrow $4,000,000 $4,000,000
Lou Williams $5,000,000 $5,225,000 $5,450,000 $0 $0 $15,675,000
John Jenkins $1,204,560 $1,258,800 $1,312,920 $2,228,025 $3,241,776 $6,004,305
James Anderson $854,389 $0 $0 $0 $0 $854,389
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Kyle Korver $5,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $5,000,000
DeShawn Stevenson $2,240,450 $2,240,450 $2,240,450 $0 $0 $7,621,350
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Josh Smith $13,200,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $13,200,000
Jordan Williams $762,195 $884,293 $0 $0 $0 $1,646,488
CENTER - SALARIES
Al Horford $12,000,000 $12,000,000 $12,000,000 $12,000,000 $0 $48,000,000
Zaza Pachulia $5,248,750 $0 $0 $0 $0 $5,248,750
Johan Petro $3,500,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $3,500,000
2012-2013 Salary: $61,524,831 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 OVER Salary Cap By: $3,480,831
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Michael Gearon Danny Ferry Larry Drew
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
6/131
Atlanta Hawks
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketball by Amin Vafa
The Hawks underwent a HUMONGOUS change this summer. Joe Johnson wasn't just the iconic face of the franchise for
the past seven years, but he was also the proud recipient of the second-largest contract in the NBA (#1 belongs to Mr.
Bean, of course). And look, I like Joe. I really do. But he embodied the thing that was off with this Hawks team for so
many years: they were good, but they weren't good enough. They plateaued at 4th-best in the East, and a lot of that
(good and bad) was due to Joe Johnson.
Danny Ferry came in as the new GM this summer and, after 5 years hanging around in the middle of the Eastern
conference, Ferry decided to go for it: trade Johnson, get worse, make the team more flexible so it could get better and
form a more cohesive core. Except that didn't exactly happen. You see, Danny Ferry made a few more trades. He traded
Marvin Williams for Devin Harris, and he traded (sort of) Kirk Hinrich for Kyle Korver, signed Lou Williams to be a great6th man, and he managed to turn Joe Johnson into (as it stands now) DeShawn Stevenson, Anthony Morrow, and Johan
Petro. Doesn't sound like much, but it was some greatly needed cap relief for JJ.
But the rest of the pickups kind of make the Hawks an exciting team. I mean, at least one with potential. They've been
without a promising point guard forever, essentially. They had Mike Bibby for a spell, but that didn't work out as well as
they'd wanted it to. Jeff Teague did a nice job last year, but he's still young and needs to find his bearings coming off the
bench for a little while longer. Devin Harris is different. He's been an intriguing talent since he went 5th overall to the
Wizards (traded to the Mavericks) in the 2004 draft, but he's turned into something of a journeyman. But pairing him
with shooters like Korver and Morrow on the wings, with smallball-before-it-was-cool-to-be-smallball bruisers like Josh
Smith and Al Horford in the frontcourt? Plus DeShawn Stevenson, a decent shooter and a dogged defender coming offthe bench, along with the aforementioned Sweet Lou Williams?
I was totally prepared for this team to be terrible. Now I'm prepared for it to blow me away. Come on, Hawks. Let's see
what you got.
Listen All Yall This Is Sabotage by Noam Schiller
If you were a double agent trying to subtly destroy the 2009-2012 Hawks from within, how would you do that?
You would have to play very well. You cant gain control without first gaining trust. Perhaps by acting as an incredibly
effective defender, since thats the sort of acumen that often gets lost in mainstream analysis but endears those who
frequent your half-empty arena. You would score a lot so you would win ball-handling duties, and then youd keep the
ball for long possessions, ensuring that you have total control over who else gets a turn.
You would threaten to leave the team for no compensation once you became a free agent. You would remind them
extremely politely, of course, because you love the franchise that you will only stay for a max deal. You will get it,
and cripple the teams cap situation. You will leverage the legitimacy gained by your income into more control over the
offense.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
7/131
You would ensure that Jeff Teague doesnt get enough of an opportunity to claim his own control over the fortunes of
the offense, and that Al Horford an elite player that depends on your passes because of what his position dictates
gets just enough touches for you to escape critique, but not enough to lift the team above where you deem fit. You
would teach Josh Smith to shoot more jumpers. You would conveniently disappear in the playoffs, because, hey, we
just played a better team.
Im not saying Joe Johnson was a double agent. But if he were, he would do everything exactly the same. Right down to
making sure the Hawks acquire Johan Petro and DeShawn Stevenson as he left.
Doomsday Vs. Manna From Heaven by Matt Moore
In the earliest cave drawings, Josh Smith was depicted with a spear in one hand and a can of motor oil in the other.
Egyptian hieroglyphs illustrated the Hawks power forward with two heads, one of the serpent and one of the ass.
Roman tablets would later reference a figure known only as the Emperor's Hunter, who could chase down any man or
beast throughout the Empire, but who fell out of favor for routinely getting distracted with other selfish pursuits. And
16th century London folktales tell of a man who would snatch robbers from the night, but in the act of returning the
goods, destroy the victim's homes.
Josh Smith can save the Hawks. Josh Smith can destroy the Hawks.
So it goes, so it has gone, so it shall go.
I find that people's opinion of Josh Smith is dependent more heavily than other players on what precise moment you
catch him in, and the duration. Too much exposure, like radiation, or the stylings of the Black Keys, turns you into a
despondent and downhearted individual. Brief exposure under the right setting, though, and it's like sunlight for your
soul, a veritable cornucopia of post play and devastating cuts. He can dominate in the post as well as LeBron, slice on
and off ball like young Vince Carter, and fill up a stat sheet like his long lost brother in FreeDarkodom Gerald Wallace.
But the jumper. That Goddamn mid-range 18-foot jumper. If Carmelo Anthony's game is wounded by his penchant for
that shot, Smith's is poisoned by it. Its temptation and inefficiency surging through his blood like a toxin mixed in with
the radioactive hulk blood that fuels the rest of his game. If he is able to expunge it, if Jeff Teague is able to bring out the
good in him like Luke Skywalker to Smith's Vader, then the Hawks could be something entirely different. But he won't
though. And in the end, the same will be written of Smith that is always written of him. Josh Smith made the Hawks.
Josh Smith destroyed the Hawks.
Perhaps I Can Help You With That Hump. What Hump? by Sean Highkin
The Hawks biggest hurdle to reaching true relevance isnt their own fault. They just happen to play in the same division
as the Miami Heat. They play in the same conference as the Boston Celtics and Indiana Pacers, too, but its mostly theHeat. This years Hawks team has the same ceiling as every Hawks team of the last half-decadea seed between four
and six and a first or second-round exit, which is a shame because it doesnt do justice to the moves made this summer
by new GM Danny Ferry.
It also doesnt do justice to the how much more fun to watch these Hawks will be than the Iso-Joe bunch. This is a team
that boasts a more liberated Jeff Teague with license to run the offense, a healthy Al Horford down low, Josh Smith in a
contract year (REPEAT: Josh Smith in a contract year!!!!!), and arguably the two best three-point shooters in the NBA in
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
8/131
Kyle Korver and Anthony Morrow. For the first time in a long time, the phrases This Hawks team is really intriguing and
Im going to be watching a lot of Atlanta games on League Pass are not asking for nervous laughs or blank stares.
But none of it matters, because theres no way this team will give the Heat a scare. Its not a fair standard to hold the
Hawks (or anyone) to, but its the simple, grim reality of the new NBA. By virtue of not having LeBron James and Dwyane
Wade on their team, the Hawks are right back where they started: in the middle of the pack. At least this time, the
march to mediocrity will be enjoyable.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
9/131
Boston Celtics
(39-27, 1st
in Atlantic)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 98.9 95.5 49.60 45.21 25.7 28.5 14.74 14.88 19.74 27.58
Rank 24th 2nd 10th 2nd 22nd 20th 25th 4th 30th 20th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Leandro Barbosa
(IND)Ray Allen (MIA) Jared Sullinger (21st)
Acquired Courtney Lee from Houston for
JaJuan Johnson, E'Twaun Moore, Sean
Williams, and a 2013 second-round draft
pick.
Jason Collins (ATL) Marquis Daniels (MIL) Fab Melo (22nd)
Darko Milicic (MIN) Ryan Hollins (LAC) Kris Joseph (51st)
Jason Terry (DAL)Jermaine ONeal
(PHX)Greg Stiemsma
(MIN)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Rajon Rondo $11,000,000 $11,954,545 $12,909,091 $0 $0 $35,863,636
Avery Bradley $1,630,000 $2,511,432 $3,581,302 $0 $0 $4,141,432
SHOOTING GUARD SALARIES
Courtney Lee $5,000,000 $5,225,000 $5,450,000 $5,675,000 $0 $21,350,000
Jason Terry$5,000,000 $5,225,000 $5,450,000 $0 $0
$15,675,000
Leandro Barbosa
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Paul Pierce $16,790,345 $15,333,334 $0 $0 $0 $32,123,679
Jeff Green $8,375,000 $8,791,667 $9,208,333 $9,625,000 $0 $36,000,000
Kris Joseph $473,604 $788,872 $0 $0 $0 $1,262,476
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Brandon Bass $6,000,000 $6,450,000 $6,900,000 $0 $0 $19,350,000
Jared Sullinger $1,306,920 $1,365,720 $1,414,520 $2,269,260 $3,270,003 $6,356,420
Chris Wilcox $1,352,181 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,352,181
CENTER SALARIESKevin Garnett $11,566,265 $12,443,735 $12,000,000 $0 $0 $36,010,000
Fab Melo $1,254,270 $1,311,240 $1,367,640 $2,249,768 $3,257,662 $6,182,828
Darko Milicic $1,229,255 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,229,255
2012-2013 Salary: $72,030,593 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 OVER Salary Cap By: $13,986,593
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Irving Grousbeck Danny Ainge Doc Rivers
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
10/131
Boston Celtics
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Scott Leedy
Absent of any connotation or descriptions of their play, the Celtics have had a good thing going for the last 4 seasons.
Sure, the last two years have ended in losses to the Heat, but neither defeat is something to be ashamed of. They were
beaten by better, younger, more talented teams. Besides, the 2012 season was supposed to be the last push. The final
gasp. The farewell tour for a short-lived but powerful, gritty, and always compelling super team.
After the year was over, many expected something of a reboot. Yes, Garnett had been reborn over the second half of
the season, but it seemed time to answer the ever present question: could Bostons acerbic, temperamental point guard
carry the franchise? Was it time to let Garnett walk, bring in younger, more athletic players that could meet Rondos
pace, allow him to flourish with personnel better suited to a freer more open style of play. Of course, Danny Ainge rarely
does the expected. He brought back Garnett, let Ray Allen leave for South Beach, re-signed Jeff Green and brought on
Jason Terry (who is OLD). There would be no reboot, no revolution, and no upheaval. Just a redesign, a shift, an
adjustment here and there.
Its easy to criticize the decision making, to call into question commitment to a team that is old, fragile, and not likely to
contend. I wrote on Twitter that maybe the overarching question for the Celtics season is, REALLY? AGAIN? But I think
thats too simplistic. The Celtics werent going to truly compete with or without Garnett. And for all the questions we
have about Rajon Rondo, maybe the Celtics are confident they know what they have. Yes, they will play ugly. Yes, most
of you are bound to complain, and whine about how awful they are. But we still get RajonRondos dismissive,
idiosyncratic, pterodactyl-armed brilliance. We still have Doc Rivers steady, strategic and emotional mastery of a
basketball team.
Maybe youre annoyed by Garnetts antics at this point; maybe you cant stand Paul Pierces style ofplay. Maybe Rajon
Rondos coasting through some games bothers you .But for better or worse theyre still around, and they still have a
chance to be relevant. So for this season at least, maybe the only question for the Celtics is, AGAIN??? Why not?
Jesus Christ Your Team Sucks by Eric Maroun
Few players in the NBA are as polarizing as Kevin Garnett. For 12 long years, he toiled in the frigid state known as
Minnesota playing for a Timberwolves team which you could set your watch to nearly every spring for a first round
playoff exit. For seven consecutive years from 1997-2003 this was the case. While Tracy McGrady has seemingly long
reigned as the poster child for the player unable to venture into the second round, the Celtics playoff success since he
was traded to Boston prior to the 2007-08 season has obscured the fact that Garnett carried the same stigma. As a
result of his stint in the North Star State, Garnett became a sympathetic figure in many NBA circles. All we wanted was
to see KG on a bigger stage. Following the Celtics championship win in 2008 over the Lakers, Garnett further endeared
himself to fans as his raw emotion was on full display when he belted out the primal scream of ANYTHING IS
POSSIBLLLLLLLE and gave Bill Russell a bear hug while saying, I hope we made you proud. For many, this was the
culmination of both years of losing and years of frustration. Kevin Garnett had finally gotten his.
Fast forward to 2012, and the public opinion on KG has largely swung the other way. Now he is portrayed as a dog
whose bark is far worse than his bite, someone who an anonymous NBA player in an April 2011 ESPN The Magazine
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
11/131
piece described by saying, You can learn a lot about him by watching his eyes. If he's talking to you, and he's always
talking, he avoids eye contact. My advice to other guys in the league: Stare him down, and he'll retreat. From what I've
seen, he'll never mix it up with a player who's bigger than he is. Personally, I think he's scared to fight. His act of
swatting the ball heading for the rim following a foul call is seen by some as trifling, many as annoying, and practically
everyone as played out. Then, this summer provided us with the pice de rsistance of Garnetts to borrow a
professional wrestling term heel ways. At the Celtics media day in late September, Garnett revealed that following Ray
Allens decision to sign as a free agent with Miami, he had deleted Allens number from his cell phone. When I first heardthis story, I racked my brain trying to think of my 18 years of schooling from kindergarten through my Masters program
if I had ever heard anything as petty as this; to the shock of no one, I came up empty. Seriously Boston; this is your vocal
leader? This is the guy that youre going to war with this year? A guy who more and more is akin to Mean Girls than
Mean Green? Good luck with that. All Im saying is that if thats the centerpiece of your alleged title contending team,
well, that sucks.
I Had A Dream Last Night And It Looked Just Like A Dream by Danny Chau
I had a dream that Jeff Green was James Worthy and the Celtics won a bunch of championships because he was James
Worthy.
Oh, wait. That wasnt my dream.
Folks speak of Jeff Green like they do of socialism. And its always a bit disappointing when theories dont quite work out
in practice and is Jeff Green much more than a theory? Something about Jeff Green elicits a very specific reaction from
fans. He inspires hope in the many things he can do on the court. Hes also critically panned for the many things he cant
do well. There is a bit of a gulf between expectation and reality, though you can hardly blame Celtics fans for keeping
the faith.
Greens versatility is his calling card, and if the coaching staff is serious in its assertions that he can play some point
guard, acquiring all three of Jason Terry, Courtney Lee, and Leandro Barbosa makes a bit more sense. On a team (still)full of aging veterans, Greens athleticism which is good, but a bit overblown by commentators around the league
will make Rajon Rondos job a little easier. The dunks he will inevitably get on the run will be a welcome respite from all
the midrange jumpers the team will continue to take. But if they wanted a versatile athlete with everything to prove,
they could have drafted Perry Jones III instead of Fab Melo. And really, what is Green but a shorter, way less athletic
Jones with a much fatter contract?
PJ3 learning from Kevin Garnett. Jones catching lobs from Rondo. Jones quickly gaining the adoration of the Boston fan
base being the teams most freakish athlete since Ricky Davis. Jones sharing the mantle with Rondo as the future of the
Celtics storied franchise.
OK, now were in my dream.
Listen All Yall This Is Sabotage by Steve McPherson
Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry is dating a woman named Ellen (played by Ben Stillers future
wife, Christine Taylor) who seems genuinely great at first, but is mysteriously pegged as a loser by all of Jerrys friends?
We cant see it, and Jerry cant see it, and so he starts trying to figure out why her friends say things like, It is so sweet
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
12/131
of you to take her out. Basically, in this equation, Jerry is the Boston Celtics and everyone else is every fan of every
team thats had Darko Milicic on it.
It seems oddly fitting that Darko has threatened to kill someone if necessary to make an impact on the game because so
far, to paraphrase Ned Flanderss father, hes tried nothing and hes all out of ideas. Celtics fans look at this signing as
inconsequential, a guy to hold down the end of the bench; and I pray to all that is holy theyre right, for their sakes.
Maybe its possible that if Darko doesnt play a minute this year and he wont have an effect on the team, but I doubt it.
Hes a walking, talking (well, slouching, grumbling) black hole of enthusiasm death. Hes a concentrated poison, and
heres the thing about poison: you dont have to take a big honking dose, just a couple parts per million.
Nothing craters team belief like one guy who just wont buy in. Ive worked with people like that, and you probably have
too. That one guy whos always having the worst day and carrying it into work? The girl who does nothing but complain?
You laugh it off. Hell, most of the time theyre not even complaining about work and it doesnt affect you, right? Except
for all that time you spend talking about them instead of working. Except for that. And then suddenly youre fighting for
home court advantage in the playoffs and theres Darko looking glum, saying I told you so. Dont say I didnt tell you
so.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
13/131
Brooklyn Nets
(22-44, 5th
in Atlantic)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 99.7 106.9 47.28 51.31 26.9 28.2 14.33 13.68 27.82 29.33
Rank 23rd
29th 24th 29th 17th 19th 22nd 17th 10th 28th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Andray Blatche (WAS) Sundiata Gaines (IND)Tyshawn Taylor
(41st via trade) Acquired Joe Johnson from Atlanta for
Anthony Morrow, Jordan Farmar, Jordan
Williams, DeShawn Stevenson, Johan Petro
and a 2017 second-round pick.
Acquired Reggie Evans from LA Clippers for
the right to swap 2016 second-round draftpicks.
Jerry Stackhouse
(ATL)Gerald Green (IND)
Tornike Shengelia
(54th via trade)
Mirza Teletovic
(Europe)
DeShawn Stevenson
(ATL)Ilkan Karaman (57th)
C.J. Watson (CHI)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Deron Williams $17,177,795 $18,754,465 $19,754,465 $21,042,800 $22,331,135 $98,772,325
C.J. Watson $992,860 $1,106,941 $0 $0 $0 $2,099,801
Tyshawn Taylor $473,604 $788,872 $1,115,243 $0 $0 $1,262,476
SHOOTING GUARD SALARIES
Joe Johnson $19,752,645 $21,466,718 $23,180,790 $24,894,863 $0 $89,295,016
MarShon Brooks $1,160,040 $1,210,080 $1,768,653 $3,377,354 $0 $4,318,773Keith Bogans $1,229,255 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,229,255
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Gerald Wallace $9,682,435 $10,105,855 $10,105,855 $10,105,855 $0 $40,000,000
Jerry Stackhouse $1,352,191 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,352,191
Tornike Shengelia $473,604 $788,872 $0 $0 $0 $1,262,476
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Kris Humphries $12,000,000 $12,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $24,000,000
Mirza Teletovic $3,090,000 $3,229,050 $3,368,100 $4,210,125 $0 $9,687,150
CENTER SALARIES
Brook Lopez $13,668,570 $14,963,906 $15,719,063 $16,744,219 $0 $60,825,938Reggie Evans $1,622,617 $1,695,635 $1,768,653 $0 $0 $5,086,905
2012-2013 Salary: $82,675,606 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 OVER Salary Cap By: $24,631,606
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Mikhail Prokhorov Billy King Avery Johnson
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
14/131
Brooklyn Nets
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Sean Highkin
Get ready to get really, really sick of the "Which team rules New York?" storyline this season. That this is even a factor is
astounding given the Nets' historic futility, but the Mikhail Prokhorov/Jay-Z regime isn't the New Jersey Nets of old
anymore. They're in Brooklyn now, with a state-of-the-art arena, sweet new uniforms, and an elite point guard finally
surrounded with real talent. The mere fact that Deron Williams chose to re-up with the Nets rather than play with Dirk
Nowitzki in his native Dallas, as well as the badly-kept secret that Brooklyn was Dwight Howard's preferred landing spot,
says everything that needs to be said about the position this franchise now occupies in NBA culture.
As for that new talent: Joe Johnson gets a lot of flak for having probably the worst contract in the league, but he is by a
considerable distance the best backcourt partner D-Will has ever played with. Gerald Wallace, acquired at last year's
trade deadline and re-signed in July, was also overpaid but can still contribute at a high level, especially on defense.Brook Lopez can also basically be viewed as an offseason addition, as he missed all but five games last season. He can't
rebound, but he's one of the most offensively gifted centers in the game.
The caveat here is the sheer amount of money the Nets committed to players this summer. Between Williams' five-year
max deal, Lopez' hefty rookie extension, Wallace's $40 million new deal, and the trade for Johnson, the Nets have zero
breathing room for the next half decade. This is their team, for now and for later. Luckily, it's a pretty good one, and
should compete for home-court advantage in the East for the foreseeable future.
Jesus Christ Your Team Sucks by Jared Dubin
You are no longer the New Jersey Nets. You will not play your games in a decrepit stadium in the middle of a swamp that
has basically no access through public transportation. You have exited NBA purgatory.
You play in Brooklyn now. You have a fancy new arena in an up-and-coming area of New York City (even if you had to
demolish residential housing to get it, and have yet build the replacement residential housing you promised). Your
uniforms are no longer a splish-splash of red, white and blue, but rather a sleek and simplistic black and white. Your
fresh new gear is flying off the shelves of every Modells in the city. Your team is massively improved. Your point guard is
elite. Your shooting guard is one of the best in the league. Your small forward is as solid as they come. Your power
forward is a terrific rebounder. Your center scores with the best of them. Your bench is no longer a laughingstock. You
have cache. Youll be on national TV. Your rapper/part-owner will probably even show up to some of his own teams
games this year.
But yourestill the Nets. Youll never truly own the city that has had Knickerbocker -blue blood since 1946. Like the
Mets, Jets and Islanders, youve always come second, and probably always will. Brooklyns hip and all, but it aint
Broadway (to be fair, neither are the Knicks, but this is my section, damn it). Your elite point guard hasnt really been
elite since he came to your team a year and a half ago. Your shooting guard is hilariously overpaid, on the wrong side of
30, and isnt Dwight Howard, the guy you really wanted this offseason. Your small forward is also overpaid, is in decline,
and used to be a Bobcat. Your power forward is basically a Kardashian. And your center grabs more comic books than
rebounds, and is so bad at defense that he cant even defend himself from that terrible joke. Your bench consists of
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
15/131
vaguely valuable cast-offs, an unknown Euro-dude and Jerry Stackhouse. And Avery Johnson still has a really annoying
voice. You're capped out from now until eternity with a team that isn't quite a contender.
Prokhorov can needle Jimmy Dolan and the team across town all he wants. You can strike up rivalries from now until
forever. It wont matter. Youre still the Nets.
Perhaps I Can Help You With That Hump. What Hump? by Amin VafaNEW ARENAAAAAAA! NEW LOCATIONNNNNNNN! NEW ROSTERRRRRR! NEW JERSEYYYYYYSSSS (oh, not that kind. Sorry
for the reminder, people from the Jerz)!
Its a new season with a lot of changes for the Nets. Did you know they moved from Newark to Brooklyn? To someone
who doesnt live in the NY/NJ vicinity, this doesnt seem like a big deal. But apparently thats like a whole different place.
And they have a whole different roster now, too. A new and improved and tech-savvy Deron Williams, a Gerald Wallace
that was traded for Dame Lillard, and Joe I make more money than HOVA, but Ill probably commute from Patterson
Johnson. Oh, and did you know they got Dwight Howard? Wait, they didntget him? After all that hubbub? And they just
re-signed Kris Humphries and Brook Lopez instead? Oh, I guess thats cool too. Totally the same.
Well, thatll all probably be OK. I mean, Sir Charles thinks theyre much betterthan the star-studded Knicks And he
thinks the Humphries/Lopez signings were underrated. Like, as underrated as a no-other-option-but-to-overpay pair of
singings could be. First team in Brooklyn since the Dodgers left? Thats a big deal. I mean, when has New York City ever
caught a break? Jay-Z has likened their move to Brooklyn as part of his personal fulfillment of theAmerican Dream. And
their manager Billy Kingthinkstheyre title contenders. I mean, not liketitle title contenders, right? Oh no, he does.
Never mind.
As easy as it would have been to write this entire section about Kris Humphries (look at that title! It was staring me in
the face!), the Nets hubris could make things in Brooklyn uglier than they anticipate.
Its almost as if expectations are being heightened this season.
The Transcendent and Wonderful by Connor Huchton
So youre Brook Lopez, and everyone knows you cant rebound. You were an acceptable rebounder for two seasons, but
after an awful season on the glass and a year mostly lost to injury, your weaknesses have moved to the forefront. Youre
Brook Lopez, and everyone knows you cant rebound.
But maybe you can rebound. Maybe those first two seasons were indicative of the rebounder youll be over the course
of your career. Maybe youll even improve as a rebounder, progressing from questionably passable to good and maybe
all the way to great. But probably not. Youre BrookLopez, and everyone knows you cant rebound.
Its worth noting that you can score, and score very well. Everyone knows you can score, though not quite efficiently
enough to eradicate the elephant standing and screaming elephant noises in the proverbial room of rebounding. Scoring
is useful, but youre a center. You should be rebounding, and then defending, andthenmaybe scoring, if youre up to it.
Oh, and we havent even talked about your defense yet. Its anywhere from bad to fine, depending on which metric the
person deciding espouses. But its firmly not in the positive camp, so lets focus on it. If you cant improve your defense,
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/charles-barkley-calls-brooklyn-nets-best-team-new-york-carmelo-anthony-amar-e-stoudemire-pairing-knicks-work-article-1.1169668?localLinksEnabled=falsehttp://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/charles-barkley-calls-brooklyn-nets-best-team-new-york-carmelo-anthony-amar-e-stoudemire-pairing-knicks-work-article-1.1169668?localLinksEnabled=falsehttp://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/charles-barkley-calls-brooklyn-nets-best-team-new-york-carmelo-anthony-amar-e-stoudemire-pairing-knicks-work-article-1.1169668?localLinksEnabled=falsehttp://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/basketball/jay-z-bringing-nets-to-brooklyn-an-american-dream/article4571885/http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/basketball/jay-z-bringing-nets-to-brooklyn-an-american-dream/article4571885/http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/basketball/jay-z-bringing-nets-to-brooklyn-an-american-dream/article4571885/http://www.slamonline.com/online/nba/2012/09/brooklyn-nets-gm-billy-king-says-they-can-win-a-title/http://www.slamonline.com/online/nba/2012/09/brooklyn-nets-gm-billy-king-says-they-can-win-a-title/http://www.slamonline.com/online/nba/2012/09/brooklyn-nets-gm-billy-king-says-they-can-win-a-title/http://www.slamonline.com/online/nba/2012/09/brooklyn-nets-gm-billy-king-says-they-can-win-a-title/http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/basketball/jay-z-bringing-nets-to-brooklyn-an-american-dream/article4571885/http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/charles-barkley-calls-brooklyn-nets-best-team-new-york-carmelo-anthony-amar-e-stoudemire-pairing-knicks-work-article-1.1169668?localLinksEnabled=false -
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
16/131
how can you be considered highly in the ordering of centers on a traditional basis? Your weaknesses dont fit the mold,
and thats a problem. Everyone knows you play like a guard.
So youre a great scorer who cant rebound or defend well enough to deflect attention. Youre an object of scrutiny and
widely considered overpaid. Every moment of this season will scream with fateful impact for you and your team. You
will likely struggle to replace the negative with the positive.
Because youre Brook Lopez, and everyone knows you cant rebound or defend quite well enough. You cant be placed in
a top tier without these attributes.
Or can you?
Source: Basketball-Reference.com
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
17/131
Charlotte Bobcats
(7-59, 5th
in Southeast)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 92.3 107.8 43.92 51.21 27.6 27.5 13.88 12.80 23.59 29.12
Rank 30th 30th 30th 28th 14th 15th 16th 27th 27th 27th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Brendan Haywood
(DAL)D.J. Augustin (IND)
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
(2nd) Acquired Ben Gordon and a future first-
round draft choice from Detroit for Corey
Maggette.Ramon Sessions (LAL) Jeffery Taylor (31st)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Ramon Sessions $5,000,000 $5,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $10,000,000
Kemba Walker $2,532,060 $2,709,720 $3,452,183 $4,677,708 $0 $8,693,963
SHOOTING GUARD SALARIES
Gerald Henderson $3,101,326 $4,267,424 $0 $0 $0 $3,101,326
Ben Gordon $12,400,000 $13,200,000 $0 $0 $0 $25,600,000
Reggie Williams $2,500,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $2,500,000
Matt Carroll $3,500,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $3,500,000
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist $4,602,720 $4,809,840 $5,016,960 $6,331,404 $8,262,481 $20,760,924
Jeffery Taylor $550,000 $788,872 $915,243 $0 $0 $2,254,115POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Byron Mullens $2,253,061 $3,293,975 $0 $0 $0 $2,253,061
Tyrus Thomas $8,000,000 $8,694,215 $9,388,430 $0 $0 $26,082,465
CENTER SALARIES
Bismack Biyombo $3,007,920 $3,217,680 $4,086,453 $5,479,933 $0 $10,312,053
Brendan Haywood $2,000,000 $2,000,000 $2,000,000 $0 $0 $6,000,000
DeSagana Diop $7,372,200 $0 $0 $0 $0 $7,372,200
2012-2013 Salary: $56,703,129 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 UNDER Salary Cap By: $1,340,871
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Michael Jordan Rich Cho Mike Dunlap
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
18/131
Charlotte Bobcats
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Connor Huchton
Every Bobcats preview youll read will begin and likely end with a rightfully bleak outlook; sprinkled with glimmers of
hope but ultimately nebulous and depressing. And thats fine. The 2012-2013 Bobcats will not be a good team, just as
most Bobcats squads have not been good teams in the franchises short, troubled history. But a bleak past and an at
best uncertain future are not enough to erase what makes this Bobcat team interesting and dynamic enough to
receive the average fans momentary attention.
Unlike last years team, which rode unceasing hopelessness and ineptitude towards the saving grace of a high-lottery
pick, these Bobcats are in many areas competent and fun. Bismack Biyombo is one of the leagues foremost emerging
shot blockers and help defenders. Kemba Walkers potential as a scorer remains sizable if not vast. Michael Kidd-
Gilchrist can pass, defend, and rebound with the aplomb of a veteran, which gives him a positive distinction apart from
nearly every other rookie in his class. Ramon Sessions is an acceptable distributor and scorer, Brendan Haywood still
possesses enough defending prowess to occasionally anchor the team, Ben Gordon can provide scoring for a team thats
desperately needed it, and Gerald Hendersons particular brand of underrated defense and mid-range shooting is an
enjoyable change-of-pace to the Bobcats myriad collection of players.
And so there are reasons to watch this Bobcats team and wait for another high-lottery pick or some other untold
basketball hero to arrive in Charlotte. A bad team can grow while it waits, slowly improving until the time comes when a
player arrives who can transform the franchise. That transformative player may already be in Charlotte, under the
acronym MKG, or he may arrive at a later time. But with clever management, principled coaching, and an ever-
advancing supporting cast in tow, the Bobcats are changing now, and for the better.
I Had A Dream Last Night And It Looked Just Like A Dream by James Herbert
Had the strangest dream. Kemba Walker was on TV accepting his Most Improved Player award. I know. It really
shouldnt go to second-year guys. But apparently he led all point guards in scoring thanks to Derrick Roses injury and
Russell Westbrooks decision to go all Wilt Chamberlain on everybody and lead the league in assists. Apparently Walker
was so good that the Bobcats traded Ramon Sessions to the Knicks for Rasheed Wallace, who became fast friends with
Bismack Biyombo.
Anyway, whats weirder than Walker winning is who he thanked at the podium: his hypnotist. Walker said that he didnt
want to say anything about his secret weapon until he knew the NBA world was focused on him, and it was finally timeto give credit where it was due. He said that, with a hypnotists help, he never once saw a Charlotte Bobcats jersey in his
sophomore season, despite playing all 82 games and averaging 36 minutes a night.
All he saw were UConn jerseys.
The hypnotist came recommended by Charlotte coach Mike Dunlap, who wanted Walker to go back to the fearless,
attacking leader he was as a senior in college. Walker initially resisted any kind of hypnosis, citing an incident at student
orientation as a freshman, but when teammate Ben Gordon was leading the NBA in scoring two weeks into November
the point guard could no longer ignore his coachs plea.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
19/131
The transformation was absolute. No longer did Walker have trouble with decision-making. No longer did he second-
guess himself about attacking the basket and thus, when he got there, he finished around bigger players with confidence
and ease. I guess Walker wasnt too small or too shoot-first. I guess Walkers game was NBA-ready.
I guess his problems were all in his head.
Ask Not For Whom The Bell Trolls, Its Trollin For Thee by Steve McPhersonI have a sad confession to make. I wrote a lovely little chunk of words about what I thought would be the dominant
meme for Charlottes season this year: Anthony Davis unibrow. I honestly think it was pretty funny, a good fluffy
tongue-in-cheek piece that involved batsigns and marketing tie-ins with the Canadian beermaker Unibroue.
And then the other HP writers helpfully pointed out that I had written about the Hornets, who had left Charlotte ten
years ago. I was incredulous. What were they going to tell me next? That the Royals are leaving Rochester?
Beaten but unbowed, I popped open Wikipedia to learn something about these Charlotte Bobcats, but of course, like
many others on Wikipedia, the page was riddled with errors. Take the first sentence: The Charlotte Bobcats are a
professional basketball team based in Charlotte, North Carolina. Plus it says here theyre owned by the greatest playerto ever play the game and yet posted a winning percentage last year of .119. Doesnt seem possible.
Oh wait: so being terribly awful was all part of the plan to secure the number one pick in the NBA Draft? Well, I dont
know if thats a great plan, but at least its a plan. So whod they get with the number one pick? Oh, I see.
Voltaire said, If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. I think Id say, If God did not exist, the 2012 -13
Charlotte Bobcats.
Jesus Christ Your Team Sucks by Eric Maroun
Seven. Seven wins in 66 games. One for every day of the week. And honestly, with a 0-3 record in Sunday games and noThursday primetime games scheduled last year (because lets be honest, we all know TNT wasnt touching this team
with a ten foot pole), even that may be a tad misleading. Yes, the 2011-12 Charlotte Bobcats were often catastrophic,
occasionally hilarious, and consistently unwatchable. Michael Jordans competitiveness is well documented, and you
couldnt help but get the feeling that if anyone wanted to be the best at being the worst, it was him. Well, mission
accomplished, MJ.
Despite zero teams with the worst record in league actually landing the number one draft pick in the NBA Lottery from
2005-2011, Bobcats fans both of them dreamed of landing prized one-and-done star Anthony Davis. When the ping
pong balls bounced New Orleanss way, it marked the Bobcats 60 thloss of the season. Instead, they landed Daviss
college teammate Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, a perfectly fine young player who comes into the league with the reputation asa guy that just wins at every level. Definitely not a bad reputation to have, but there are a lot of guys who would look
great and develop the same reputation playing alongside the likes of Kyrie Irving in high school and a record five other
draft picks from the same class like MKG did at Kentucky. To his credit, Kidd-Gilchrist is a terrific wing defender and is
able to score the ball well in transition and off of cuts when being fed by good point guard play. Luckily for him, he
landed with Charlotte who boasts*looks at depth chart* *wipes eyes* *looks at depth chart again* Ramon Sessions as
a starter. Yes, Charlotte will begin the season with Ramon Sessions, a player who opted out of a $4.55 million deal with
the title contending Lakers to test the free agent waters before landing with the worst team in the history of the NBA, as
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
20/131
their primary decision maker on offense. Sessions will take the reins of an offense that finished dead last in the league in
field goals made, field goal percentage, three point shooting, points scored, overall +/-, offensive rating, efficient field
goal percentage, and true shooting percentage last year. Its going to be another long year in Charlotte because lets
face it, this team sucks.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
21/131
Chicago Bulls
(50-16, 1st
in Central)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 104.5 95.3 49.00 44.95 25.5 23.6 13.19 12.77 32.63 25.73
Rank 5th 1st 14th 1st 24th 3rd 8th 28th 1st 8th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Marco Belinelli (NOH) Omer Asik (HOU) Marquis Teague (29th)
Acquired a trade exception and cash
considerations from Atlanta for Kyle
Korver.
Kirk Hinrich (ATL) Ronnie Brewer (NYK)
Nazr Mohammed
(OKC)John Lucas III (TOR)
Vladimir Radmanovic
(ATL)C.J. Watson (BKN)
Nate Robinson (GSW)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Derrick Rose $16,402,552 $17,632,743 $18,862,935 $20,093,126 $21,323,318 $94,314,674
Kirk Hinrich $3,941,000 $4,059,000 $0 $0 $0 $8,000,000
Marquis Teague $857,000 $1,074,720 $1,120,920 $2,023,260 $3,034,890 $5,075,900
SHOOTING GUARD - SALARIES
Richard Hamilton $5,000,000 $5,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $10,000,000
Marco Belinelli $1,957,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,957,000Nate Robinson $1,146,337 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,146,337
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Luol Deng $13,305,000 $14,275,000 $0 $0 $0 $27,580,000
Jimmy Butler $1,097,520 $1,174,080 $2,119,214 $3,178,821 $0 $4,390,814
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Carlos Boozer $15,000,000 $15,300,000 $16,800,000 $0 $0 $47,100,000
Taj Gibson $2,155,811 $3,181,977 $0 $0 $0 $2,155,811
Vladimir Radmanovic $1,352,181 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,352,181
CENTER SALARIES
Joakim Noah $11,300,000 $11,100,000 $12,000,000 $13,400,000 $0 $48,000,000Nazr Mohammed $1,352,181 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,352,181
2012-2013 Salary: $74,693,445 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 OVER Salary Cap By: $16,649,445
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Jerry Reinsdorf Gar Forman Tom Thibodeau
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
22/131
Chicago Bulls
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Sean HighkinThe Bulls couldnt have won no matter what they did to prepare for this season. You can sign veterans to short-term
deals as a stopgap and try to stem the bleeding, but theres really no recovering from losing a player like Derrick Rose for
the majority of the season. Before he went down, Chicago was the one team with a legitimate shot at unseating Miami
as Eastern Conference champs. Thats not happening this year.
The Bulls have gone a variety of routes to attempt to replace Rose. They brought back Kirk Hinrich, whos still competent
and all, but unmistakably on the downside of his career. They signed Nate Robinson and Marco Belinelli to replace
sharpshooter Kyle Korver and hopefully give them a little of what they thought they were getting from Rip Hamilton last
season. This team is a patchwork construction, and a pretty ugly one at that.
Besides Rose, the biggest loss theyve suffered is Omer Asik. Not matching his offer sheet from Houston made some
sense given the Bulls financial strain and Daryl Moreys poison-pill structuring of the contract, but Tom Thibodeaus
vaunted defense is going to feel his absence. The Turkish big man averaged 13 rebounds and 2.5 blocks per 36 minutes
last season, with an unreal defensive rating of 92 points allowed per 100 possessions. The loss of Asik will only add to
the pressure to perform on defense for Luol Deng (already one of the most overworked players in the league), Carlos
Boozer (lol), and Joakim Noah. The only exciting player on this roster besides Rose is Taj Gibson, whos morphed into a
defensive monster and is angling for a contract extension. If Rose is back for the playoffs, they could be a threat. But
whos to say where hell be physically when he does return? Its hard not to see this as a lost year in the development of
a would-be juggernaut.
I Had A Dream Last Night And It Looked Just Like A Dream by Jordan White
As I lay awake in bed at night, my eyes slowly giving in to my bodys demand for rest, one question lingered in my mind:
what do the Bulls need the most? I mean, besides a Delorean with a flux capacitor or a blue police box to go back in time
to tell Tom Thibodeau to TAKE DERRICK ROSE OUT OF THE GAME?
They need a shooting guard. And not just any shooting guard. They need one who can stretch the floor with his
shooting, create his own offense off the dribble, and, in true Thibodeau style, defend like the dickens. This guard should
also be able to slide over to the small forward position for when the Bulls go small or when Luol Deng leaves the game
from Thibs-induced exhaustion. This guard would be the needed other perimeter player to take some of the scoring loadfrom Derrick Rose. If only the Bulls had such a player. This last thought echoes through my head as sleep washes over
me.
But wait! Who is this I see in my dreams? Why, its Jimmy Butler, Chicagos first round pick last year. Of course! He can
cure what ails the Bulls. His 67 muscular frame allows him to play both the two and the three. His handle is tight enough
for him to break down defenders and create offense for himself, while his shooting will give the Bulls a much needed
threat in terms of stretching a defense. Speaking of defense, Butler, when given the opportunity last season, displayed
the defensive intensity that makes Thibodeau salivate. Suddenly, my dream fast forwards to the middle of the season.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
23/131
Lo and behold, Jimmy Butler is averaging 18 points and 6 rebounds per game, and hes starting! Bulls faithful are hailing
him as the Pippen to Roses Jordan, and there is rejoicing in the streets!
Would that I could invite Tom Thibodeau into my dream, that he could see all Jimmy is capable of becoming. Yet I can't,
so this dream will remain just that...for now.
Most Valuable Meme by Noam SchillerChicago Bulls fans hate Carlos Boozer.
They dislike many things. ACLs, for example. The Knicks or Celtics, depending on the decade. Jerry Reinsdorfs penny -
pinching ways. But Carlos Boozer? His idea of contesting on defense is to yell a lot. His idea of drawing a foul on offense
is to yell a lot. He gets injured all the time, at which point he yells. A lot. He paints his hair on. He disappears in the
playoffs. They dont dislike him. They hate him. Carlos Boozer freaking sucks, man. Why cant Thibs just play Taj?
Well, with Omer Asik gone there is going to be more of Taj regardless, but the answer is pretty similar to what it was last
seasonTaj cant score. Boozer can. Hes not nearly the machine he was in Utah, he struggles against length, his beard
is stupid whatever your complaint and however valid it may be, Boozer is a gifted scorer. Nearly ambidextrous, moneyfrom mid-range, and capable of getting to the line. With Derrick Rose out for a while, Boozer is by far the best remaining
offensive player on the Bulls, and will be asked to work as something of a focal point for an offense that may struggle to
keep its head above water.
And Bulls fans are not pleased with this, because theres something inherently wrong with Carlos Boozer. On a team that
has squeezed every ounce of every player for 2 straight seasons, he coasts. On a team that fanatically avoids mistakes,
he gaffes. Even if hes good. Even if hes borderline irreplaceable. He can be the best and the worst player on the roster,
and stand out in both roles. Hes the best worst player, and the worst best player, weve ever seen.
Jesus Christ Your Team Sucks by Sean HighkinThe obvious thing to write about here is the way the Bulls are attempting to replace Derrick Rose's production through
some combination of Kirk Hinrich, Nate Robinson, and Marco Belinelli. That's scary enough. I hate piling on Rose,
though. His injury sucks for all of us, not just Bulls fans. But then I remembered the only truly important case to be made
against the Bulls: The Bulls still have Carlos Boozer.
Carlos Boozer is the worst. Everyone knows this, but it can't be repeated enough. His stupid painted-on hair is the worst.
His contract is the worst. (Seriously, the amnesty clause has existed for two off-seasons and Chicago still hasn't taken
advantage of the opportunity to rid themselves of him. This is also the worst.) The way he yells "AND ONE!!!!!!" every
time he goes up for a shot, regardless of whether it goes in or not, is definitely the worst. Carlos Boozer's son even
thinks he's the worsthe was caught on camera chanting "Let's go Heat!" at a Heat-Bulls game last season, and nobody
felt bad for him. That's how much the worst he is. He's the worst because his name and the size of his contract keep Taj
Gibson, the one player on this roster besides Rose whom I actually enjoy watching, out of the starting lineup. And since
the Bulls opted not to match Omer Asik's offer sheet from Houston (probably the right call for financial reasons, even if
Asik is an underrated defensive monster...oh, wait, you know how they could have cleared money to keep him? By using
the amnesty on Boozer!), their frontcourt will be even more reliant on Boozer not to be the worst. And asking Carlos
Boozer not to be the worst is a tall order. Because Carlos Boozer is the worst.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
24/131
Cleveland Cavaliers
(21-45, 5th
in Central)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 98.1 106.0 46.29 50.82 30.7 27.0 14.32 13.11 28.86 27.84
Rank 27th
26th 29th 27th 4th 14th 21st 22nd 8th 22nd
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Jon Leuer (HOU) Semih Erden (Europe) Dion Waiters (4th)
Acquired Jeremy Pargo, a 2014 second-
round pick, and cash considerations from
Memphis for D.J. Kennedy
C.J. Miles (UTA) Antawn Jamison (LAL)Tyler Zeller
(17th via trade)
Anthony Parker
(Retired)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Kyrie Irving $5,530,080 $5,915,880 $7,459,924 $9,697,901 $0 $18,905,884
Donald Sloan $762,195 $0 $0 $0 $0 $762,195
Jeremy Pargo $1,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,000,000
SHOOTING GUARD - SALARIES
Dion Waiters $3,726,600 $3,894,240 $4,062,000 $5,138,430 $6,777,589 $16,821,270
Daniel Gibson $4,792,332 $0 $0 $0 $0 $4,792,332
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Alonzo Gee $2,695,391 $0 $0 $0 $0 $2,695,391C.J. Miles $2,225,000 $2,225,000 $0 $0 $0 $4,500,000
Omri Casspi $2,277,306 $3,313,480 $0 $0 $0 $2,277,306
Luke Walton $6,091,363 $0 $0 $0 $0 $6,091,363
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Tristan Thompson $4,006,080 $4,285,560 $5,421,233 $7,150,606 $0 $13,712,873
Samardo Samuels $854,389 $0 $0 $0 $0 $854,389
Luke Harangody $1,054,389 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,054,389
CENTER SALARIES
Anderson Varejao $8,400,000 $9,100,000 $9,800,000 $0 $0 $27,300,000
Tyler Zeller $1,563,120 $1,633,440 $1,703,760 $2,616,975 $3,695,168 $7,517,295
Jon Leuer $762,195 $1,059,293 $0 $0 $0 $762,195
2012-2013 Salary: $42,637,801 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 UNDER Salary Cap By: $15,406,199
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Dan Gilbert Chris Grant Byron Scott
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
25/131
Cleveland Cavaliers
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Noam Schiller
The Cavs are back. 2010-11 wasnt pleasant by any stretch of the imagination, but it netted Kyrie Irving, and after one
(admittedly shortened) season that ranks as the best rookie campaigns out there, and some insane summer highlights,
that looks like more than enough. We still dont know where Irving lands between fantastic and transcendent, but even
at this early stage, he is enough to complete the transition from the house that LeBron built and wrecked to Kyries
playhouse.
Of course, even though the sunlight is no longer obstructed by LeBrons figure, the lessons from the LeBron James era
remain, and putting them into practice is the next phase. The last time Cleveland tried to surround a franchise player
with supportive talent, there was too big an emphasis on crippling long term contracts (Larry Hughes, Zydrunas
Ilgauskas) and veteran help (Donyell Marshall, Damon Jones), while draft picks were wasted on the likes of Luke Jackson
or trades for Wesley Person in 1997.
No more. Cleveland has kept the free agency gunpowder dry, spending sparingly and only on low-risk youngsters such as
C.J. Miles and Jon Leuer. The focus instead has been on hoarding high upside draft picks to surround Irving. It remains to
be seen if Dion Waiters slashing indeed complements Irvings shooting, if Tristan Thompson can develop the skill level
to accentuate just how fast he runs and how high he jumps, and if Tyler Zeller can compete with NBA level big men. But
even if those choices fail, they were done with the correct overarching philosophy, one that leverages the current
structure of the NBA to turn losses and present incompetence into talent and future wins.
And if the intermediate losses are too much for you to handle look how good Kyrie is. He's like a baby seal that crosses
you over if you try to club him. Forget the rest of the roster, that's your season right there.
I Had A Dream Last Night And It Looked Just Like A Dream by Eric Maroun
Its April 17, 2013. The Cavaliers are playing the final game of the regular season in which they have stunned many so-
called experts and are desperately clinging to a half-game lead over the Wizards for the eighth and final playoff seed in
the Eastern Conference. Having won the season series 2-1 over the Cavs, the Wizards hold the tiebreaker over
Cleveland; however, a win over the lowly Charlotte Bobcats, currently an unfathomable 10-71, is all that separates the
Cavs from making the postseason for the first time since Zydrunas Ilgauskas left for a team in Florida. As expected, Kyrie
Irving solidifies his near unanimous MVP campaign by posting his eighth triple double of the year with a sensational 27
points, 12 assists, and 10 steals performance by taking advantage of a completely overmatched and checked out Ramon
Sessions. Clevelands Rookie of the Year candidate Dion Waiters contributes 21 points, all coming from beyond the arc,
as the Cavs crush Charlotte 123-77. Locking up the 8 seed leads to the playoff match-up that NBA fans have dreamed of
since July 8, 2010: Cleveland vs. Miami.
Two weeks later, after absolutely heroic performances in the first six games by the potent duo of Irving and Waiters
getting to the rim at will against Mario Chalmers and a broken down Dwyane Wade coupled with a rip in the space-time
continuum which has made this all possible, the Cavs and Heat find themselves in a do-or-die Game 7 in South Beach. In
identical circumstances to the Cavs-Heat game on March 29, 2011, the Cavs build a 23 point advantage on Miami in the
second half before LeBron James realizes he is better at the game of basketball than Alonzo Gee and Chris Bosh pump
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
26/131
fakes Tristan Thompson out of his sneakers 12 times in a row. In the blink of an eye, there are 15 seconds left, and the
Heat have taken a one point advantage thanks to a suspicious foul drawn by Dwyane Wade who knocked down both the
free throws. After a brief, and downright bizarre, check to ensure that Bill Kennedy is really just that bad at his job as a
referee and not Tim Donaghy in disguise, Cleveland inbounds the ball and puts the rock in the hands of their creator,
their star, their knight in shining wine and gold: Kyrie Irving.
1098Irving surveys the floor assessing his options. Though four other teammates are ready for the moment, Irving
knows this game rests on his six-foot, three-inch frame. He orders Waiters, Gee, Thompson, and Anderson Varejao to
clear out. The Cavs may go down, but theyre going down firing the best bullet they have in their chamber.
7...65Suddenly, he goes for it. A lethal, Iverson-esque crossover literally separates Wade from his shoes leaving
Dwyane to question why he left Jordan Brand to sign with Li-Ning in the off-season. LeBron slides over to cut off Irving
but he is a split second too late; Irving pulls off a spin move that will cause Barry Sanders to trend on Twitter in less
than five minutes.
432Irving reaches the last level of defense. Chris Bosh, the only one of the Miami Triad to not get torched thus far
in the final seconds, stands between Irving and the rim. Having dreamed of this moment since entering the league, Irving
knows exactly what to do. Bosh and Irving leap at the same time, both teams seasons in the balance. Irving gets theshot off, a floater which he relentlessly worked on and developed in the off-season. Bosh makes a valiant effort at
swatting it away, but misses it by a fraction of an inch. It clears his arms.
1The ball hangs in the air of American Airlines Arena, seemingly forever. In these tenths of a second, a lifetime worth
of feelings run through the minds of fans everywhere. For Miami fans, its a stunned silence; could this super team really
fall short of a title for the second time in three years? Thunder and Lakers fans instantly realize that the ball falling softly
through the net provides a golden opportunity for one of them to step in and win the title. In Boston, the seemingly
impossible thought of beating this Miami team which has eliminated them in back-to-back postseasons now suddenly
seems possible. And meanwhile, Cleveland fans are already mentally preparing themselves for yet another close, but no
cigar moment; a familiar every Northeast Ohioan is familiar with, unfortunately. These shots dont fall for us; neverhave, never will. But then, something strange happens. The orange sphere with Spalding written on the side falls out of
the sky. Slowly, agonizingly for everyone watching, the unthinkable becomes reality. The ball touches nothing but silky
nylon on the way down. AAA falls deathly silent, a stunned crowd trying to process in their minds what they just saw.
Simultaneously, bars in downtown Cleveland celebrate like they have just won the title. Friends kissing friends. Strangers
hugging strangers. And an electricity the likes of which hasnt been seen since the mid-90s Indians. A new era has begun
in Cleveland.
0: The percent chance that this will happen. But hey, we can all dream, right?
Listen All Yall This Is Sabotage by Jared Dubin
Now, Im not implying that this is true, but if Dion Waiters was a double agent plotting to take down the Cleveland
Cavaliers, this is probably how the story would go
First, Dion Waiters, Double Agent would have decent but not great numbers at powerhouse basketball school, probably
in the Big East. Dion Waiters, Double Agent would compile those numbers mostly coming off the bench, which would
mean Dion Waiters, Double Agent would at least spend a bunch more time playing against backups than most top
college prospects.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
27/131
Then, Dion Waiters, Double Agents agent would let slip to some top draft evaluators that some anonymous general
managers are comparing his client - Dion Waiters, Double Agent to Dwyane Wade. These anonymous comments would
fuel an inexplicable draft rise for Dion Waiters, Double Agent in the days and weeks leading up to the pre-draft
workouts.
After that, Dion Waiters, Double Agents agent would cancel all of his workouts after receiving a promise from a
mystery team, and all the likely candidates would deny that they are in fact the promisors. None of this would make any
sense.
This would culminate with Dion Waiters, Double Agent, inexplicably shooting all the way up from the late-teens, mid-20s
to the top five, eventually landing him in Cleveland with the 4th pick in the Draft.
Then, Dion Waiters, Double Agent would show up to Summer League out of shape and bloggers would make tons of
jokes about him.
Cleveland fans would then all swear it would be okay, that Dion Waiters, Double Agent would be fine by the time the
regular season rolled around. But it wouldnt, because Dion Waiters, Double Agent was a Double Agent sent to destroy
the Cleveland Cavaliers once and for all, all along.
Freakish Numbers And I Dont Mean That Dirty Number 8by Amin Vafa4.
In back to back drafts, the Cleveland Cavaliers have selected the 4th pick. Last year, it wasn't as big of a deal because
they also got the 1st pick (oh hey Kyrie!), but it was still important. In both years, from the draft lottery until draft night,
rumors swirled round and round that Cleveland was up to something to package these number 4 picks to trade up or
down or sideways or beyond just so they could make a decision. You see, in each of these past two seasons, the 4th pick
in the draft has been really difficult to make. There are types of players Cleveland has needed (Generally, they need
good ones. Specifically, they need players that complement Kyrie Irving.), but these players haven't been available at the
4th pick. Well, they have been available, but picking them 4th would be too high or picking 4th would be too late to get
the best fitting player. So the Cavaliers front office has been tested in back to back seasons: reach for a guy that you like
but doesn't fit perfectly, trade down to get the guy you want but not get a good deal for him because you reek of
desperation, or trade up and pay out your nose because you reek of desperation. In both years, Cleveland chose to
stand pat.
In 2011, they drafted the Canuck from the University of Texas, Tristan Thompson. He was a raw athlete they wanted to
play at Power Forward, alongside a wily and quick-footed Anderson Varejao. Thompson wasn't the immediate force on
offense or defense that Cleveland needed--especially in comparison to his cohort-leading teammate Irving--but when
the dust settled at season's end, it was pretty much agreed that Thompson was an athletic big who was more than just a
tweener, and exhibited a great upside. He had a decent summer league (when he played), and he's had a decent
preseason as well.
In 2012, the Cavs stunned everyone and drafted Dion Waiters. The team apparently had Waiters very high on their draft
board, but the assumption was that they were going to draft a shooter on the wing to complement Irving and their bigs.
Instead, they took an undersized slasher 6th-man from Syracuse with a history of ego and attitude problems that
refused workouts with every team and until recently was out of shape. Hardly the second impression Cleveland wanted
to make at the 4th spot. However, the jury's still out on Waiters as well. He, too, has a tremendous upside. After all, the
Cavs don't have anyone who can get to the basket at will like Waiters. He's got great on-the-ball skills, and when he feels
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
28/131
like it, he can shoot from multiple areas on the floor. Will he and Irving be the backcourt duo of the future (John Wall
and Bradley Beal might have something to say about that), or will Cleveland see that his natural fit is leading the second
unit?
It's difficult to know just yet if Cleveland hit homeruns on back-to-back 4th picks, if they've struck out, or if they've done
any number of permutations of ill-fitting baseball analogies. But we do know that Cleveland's fans and management
have shown patience in the past three seasons, and the Cavs are flexible enough now that if they have made any
mistakes, it's early enough in the process that no permanent damage has been done.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
29/131
Dallas Mavericks
(36-30, 3rd
in Southwest)
2011-12 STATISTICSOff
Eff
Def
Eff
Own
eFG
Opp
eFG
Own
FTR
Opp
FTR
Own
TOR
Opp
TOR
Own
ORR
Opp
ORRStat 101.0 99.7 48.90 47.93 24.6 27.0 13.37 13.87 23.43 25.17
Rank 20th 8th 15th 8th 27th 13th 11th 14th 28th 5th
OFF-SEASON RECAPFree Agents - Signed Free AgentsLost Draft Picks Trades
Elton Brand (PHI)Brendan Haywood
(CHA)
Jared Cunningham
(24th via trade)
Acquired Darren Collison and Dahntay
Jones from Indiana for Ian Mahinmi.Chris Kaman (NOH) Jason Kidd (NYK)
Bernard James
(33rd via trade)
O.J. Mayo (MEM) Jason Terry (BOS)Jae Crowder
(34th via trade)
POINT GUARD - SALARIES
Player 2012-13 2013-14 2014-15 2015-16 2016-17 Total
Darren Collison $2,319,344 $3,342,174 $0 $0 $0 $2,319,344
Delonte West $1,223,166 $0 $0 $0 $0 $1,223,166
Rodrigue Beaubois $2,227,332 $3,271,951 $0 $0 $0 $2,227,332
Jared Cunningham $1,156,320 $1,208,400 $1,260,360 $2,204,369 $3,222,787 $5,829,449
SHOOTING GUARD SALARIES
O.J. Mayo $4,020,000 $4,200,900 $0 $0 $0 $8,220,900
Dahntay Jones $2,900,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $2,900,000Dominique Jones $1,276,560 $2,299,084 $3,377,354 $0 $0 $3,575,644
SMALL FORWARD SALARIES
Shawn Marion $8,646,364 $9,316,796 $0 $0 $0 $17,963,160
Vince Carter $3,120,000 $3,180,000 $0 $0 $0 $6,300,000
Jae Crowder $600,941 $788,872 $915,243 $0 $0 $2,305,056
POWER FORWARD SALARIES
Dirk Nowitzki $20,907,128 $22,721,381 $0 $0 $0 $43,628,509
Elton Brand $2,100,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $2,100,000
Brandan Wright $992,680 $0 $0 $0 $0 $992,680
CENTER - SALARIESChris Kaman $8,000,000 $0 $0 $0 $0 $8,000,000
Bernard James $473,604 $788,872 $0 $0 $0 $1,262,476
2012-2013 Salary: $60,534,290 2012-13 Salary Cap: $58,044,000 OVER Salary Cap By: $2,490,290
MANAGEMENTOwner GM Coach
Mark Cuban Donnie Nelson Rick Carlisle
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
30/131
Dallas Mavericks
2012-13 Season Preview
Great Theories Regarding Professional Basketballby Connor Huchton
Thought 1: That Atmospheric Ambiance
Limbo, limbo, limbo. We float and struggle through an unknown space, unsure and hopeful and pessimistic all at once.
The 2012-2013 Mavericks are similar to the 2011-2012 team in one facet most of all: mystery.
Thought 2: We Continue
And not in the fun, noir type of way. Mysterious in the way that makes you feel vaguely misplaced and eager for
anything tangible to appear.
Thought 3: The Plea
Oh Elton Brand, please tell me you still have that mid-range jumper. Oh Roddy Beaubois, you can still grow. Oh Darren
Collison, 2010 is not so long ago. Oh O.J. Mayo, the three-pointer is not a nearby straw to make use of with no regard for
the disappearing liquid.
Thought 4: Goodbye, And Thanks
Your timely threes are already missed, Jason Kidd. Your brilliantly slow defensive surprises are not forgotten.
Your dependably average play is moderately missed, Ian Mahinmi. It is unlikely that a single Mavericks fan truly disliked
you, and that in itself is an achievement. We wish you well on those beautiful Indiana beaches.
And most of all, we miss you, Jason Terry. The brilliance of unaffected movement and unalterable, prideful release
remains in our collective unconsciousness, forever more.
Thought 5: A Rock To Build This Unbalanced Team
Dirk Nowitzki, a seven-foot tower of a man, with a heart and one-footed jumper to match his size, waits and prepares, as
always, to carry a team that breathes with his direction. The Mavericks offense gasped and grew winded without its
leader at full force last season, and the return of rhythmic respiration and one superstar, the aforementioned Dirk
Nowitzki, will be welcomed like the sun to a freeze.
Thought 6: Prologue
The 2012-2013 Mavericks are a good team. They are an enigma. They will ride on winds generated by undersized point
guards, talented but stagnant shooting guards, a testament to NBA greatness and weirdness at small forward, an aging
once-in-a-generation offensive stalwart at power forward, and two limited once-greats, still-goods at center. It'll be a
wild season.
And we'll watch.
-
7/31/2019 HardwoodParoxysm 2012 Season Preview
31/131
Freakish Numbers And I Dont Mean That Dirty Number 8 by Amin Vafa
Two numbers: 50 and 11.
For 11 consecutive seasons, the Dallas Mavericks won 50 or more games. This streak ended in 2011--the year Dallas
finally won a championship. The following year, they won 36 games (adjusts to about 45 in a full 82-game season). Last
season's team lacked a lot of what it had just a season before. Let's be real: the team let Tyson Chandler walk because itwanted to put itself in a position to get Dwight Howard and/or Deron Williams, the former who claimed he didn't really
want to come to Dallas and the latter who claimed that the reason he didn't come was because owner Marc Cuban
didn't show up to the meeting to sweet talk him (I'm sure being in New York and getting paid more money had nothing
to do with it). Cuban--not one to shy away from a fight--fired back at Williams saying that he threw his own team under
the bus.
It's funny to contrast the eleven 50-win seasons against Deron Williams declining an opportunity to play in Big D. Both of
these things perfectly describe what Marc Cuban's tenure as Mavericks' owner has been like. Extremely successful in
terms of wins and attendance. A lightning rod of criticism by players, other owners, and the league office. Fans like to
see wins, and if their owner is engaged: all the better! So what if he spends a season or two getting fined a million
dollars by the league office. The guy wasn't afraid to spend to make the team competitive, and the team ultimately won
a championship. Oh, and it beat the best player and the best team in the league to win it. Not too shabby.
50+ wins over 11 seasons. Yeah, I'd be OK with a loudmouth-hothead-hubristic-antagonistic-hands-on owner if he could
bring me that.
Doomsday Vs. Manna From Heaven by Jared Dubin
Dallas whiffed on their big play for Deron Williams this offseason because their owner had to tape a reality TV show,
apparently. The Fighting Cubans responded with smaller roster tweaks, saving their dollars to make another big play in
the summer of 2013. They shipped out Ian Mahinmi for Darren Collison. They signed OJ Mayo on a cheap-ish one-yeardeal. They won the amnesty waiver bid for Elton Brand and they signed Chris Kaman.
In a perfect world, Collison injects speed and life into their offense, teaming with Roddy Buckets to form one of the
faster back courts in the league (Im pretending Vince Carter doesnt exist), and gets Dirk t