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College Navigation 911 – My College

Student Wants to Drop Out!

How to Help Your College Student in Trouble

Help! My College Student Wants to Drop Out!

As a parent of a college student, you may be taken completely

by surprise when your student comes home to announce that he

wants to drop out of college.

So much effort and emotional energy

went into the choice of college and

the admissions process, that it doesn’t

seem possible that your student could

want to quit now.

The reality is that, according to ACT (American College Testing)

“nearly 25% of students leave college before finishing their

sophomore year.”

College Navigation 911

Breathe!

• First of all, take a deep breath. This was probably not an easy decision for your student and it was probably difficult for her to come to talk to you. She will be watching carefully for your response.

• This may be one of those opportunities in your student’s life when you can strengthen or weaken your communication and relationship with her.

• Don’t say anything right now that you may regret later or that will close a

door.

College Navigation 911

Let’s Talk.

Once you’ve taken time to absorb your student’s announcement, it’s time to

talk. But what do you say?

Remember what you ask your student may be as important as what you tell your student. This will ultimately need to be his decision, but you can help him think through some of his reasons, and the implications of his decision. Respecting his feelings and helping him process his thoughts is

important.

Listening carefully – not only to the words, but to what he is saying between the lines – is crucial. Perhaps you will insist on some things in the end – that he return to school for one semester, that he support himself, that he move back home –but you will have respected his feelings and heard him out.

College Navigation 911

Help your student explore the reasons for this decision.

There are as many reasons for dropping out of college as there are students who drop out. Your student may have very good reasons, or she may not have thought carefully about why college doesn’t seem to be working for her. Help her try to honestly consider her situation.

• Is she homesick?

• Is she missing friends (or a

significant other) at home

or at another school?

• Is she academically

unprepared for college

level work?

• Is she unprepared for the

independence and

responsibility that college

requires?

• Has she spent too much

time/energy socializing

and neglected her work?

• Has she spent too much

time/energy socializing

and feels that things are

spinning out of control?

• Is she feeling burned out

and in need of a break

from school?

• Is she unfocused and

unsure of what she wants

to do with her life?

• Does she feel that her

college is not the right fit

for her?

• Is she feeling

unconnected and

isolated?

• Is she experiencing

a sophomore slump?

• Are there issues at home

that are diverting her

attention and energy from

school?

• Is she unable to focus on

school because she is

trying to balance a full

time job and school at the

same time?

• Does she simply feel that

the grass must be greener

somewhere else?

College Navigation 911

Consider alternatives.

Once your student begins to focus in on his reasons for wanting to leave school, you can help him consider his alternatives. Dropping out of college involves not only ending one chapter, but also beginning another. Your student needs to consider what his options may be.

• Give it one more

semester.

• If your student is going to

give school another

chance, help him think

about what he can

change next semester.

• Many students drop out

because they cannot

balance job and school at

the same time. Help your

student think about

whether he can afford to

quit a job or reduce work

hours so that he can focus

on school.

• Can he reduce his course

load to help with

balance? Suggest that

your student investigate

reducing his credit hours or

declaring part-time status.

• Should your student

consider a transfer to

another college rather

than dropping out? Is the

problem with school in

general or with this

particular school?

• Can he consider a leave-

of-absence rather than

dropping out? Having a

scheduled return date

may help him stay focused

while giving him a break.

• Can your student move

home and attend a local

college or take some on-

line courses?

College Navigation 911

Have a Plan.

If your student has decided, after careful consideration, that she needs the break and is going to drop out, encourage her to think about realities and to create a plan of action.

• Have a realistic discussion about money. Will she live home? Will she support

herself? Will she pay you rent? Will you help her financially or expect her to do this

herself? Does she already have loans that she will need to begin to repay? Help her

create a budget and think about realistic finances.

1

• Should she consider a course or two at a local college to begin to explore new areas

or majors? Will she be able to stay on track that way?2

• Could she consider a volunteer or experiential program such as City Year that will give

her experience in the world?3

• What does she want most to do with her time? Does she just need a break or does

she want to be moving ahead professionally? Where does she see herself one year

from now? Five years?4

• Will she spend a year or two working to save money so that she can return to school

without having to have a job at the same time?5

• Make a plan to sit down together in six months to reevaluate and reconsider options.6

College Navigation 911

Leaving college is a big move. Leaving college with a concrete

plan can be the difference between feeling like a failure and

feeling as though you are making a change of direction. Many

students who leave college return eventually with a renewed sense

of purpose and succeed. Helping your student stay focused on her

ultimate goals will help you both feel more positive about a difficult

decision.

Author: Vicki Nelson, College Parent CentralRead the complete article here at CollegeParents.org

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College Parents of America and get more tips and advice on:

The Path to Graduation: What’s your student’s timeline;

What to do if your college student is on academic probation;

How to help your student avoid “How to tell my parents” fears; and

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