hey just don’t get it! - leading geeksleadinggeeks.com/.../04/they-just-dont-get...geeks.pdf ·...

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They just don’t get it!

7 ways for geeks and non-geeks to get along

geek noun. slang. An expert or an enthusiast in

an analytical field such as computers or engineering. At one time considered an insult, it has become a badge of honor for technical people.

How we got here.

What we will talk about

• The disconnect and why it matters

• 7 core reasons we don’t get each other

• Tips for making it better


Why it matters.

People Suffer

The cycle of dysfunction

When there’s dysfunction...

Business suffers


And what does it cost?

$80 Billion

a year in failed projects.

Alignment

Assumes business knows what it wants

Governance

Devolves into legalistic interaction

Relationship Management

You can’t delegate human connection

Process

Assumes people do what they are supposed to do

What’s been tried?

Why haven’t these worked?

Humans are not machines.

Gets emotional


Where are PMs in all of this?

And humans like to complain.

So, let’s complain.

What geeks say about non-geeks

What non-geeks say about geeks

Now, wait a minute … Are we promoting stereotypes?

Think archetypes.


You are special.

And, we know …

Individuals are unique.

Why has it come to this?

Geeks Non-geeks

We have fundamentally contrasting world views.

Contrast

Axioms

Contraxioms A matched pair of contrasting axioms that

give rise to different points of view

Where do different world views come from?


We can use these contraxioms to transform the cycle of dysfunction.

The cycle of productivity

Recognition

Allowance

Illumination Trust

Collaboration

The 7 Contraxioms of Geeks and Non-geeks


Contraxiom #1

Geeks

For Geeks, work is about solving problems

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, work is about achieving a vision

Work

Contraxiom #1

Work Problems vs. Vision

Geeks

• Problems organize thinking

• Provide specific structure

• Start in present

Non-geeks

• Visions get us out of bed

• Are an imagined experience

• Start in future

Contraxiom #1

Work

What happens

Instead of working, we battle about how to work


One thing we can do

Tip for geeks

Talk about dependencies

Tip for non-geeks

Establish clear problem

statements

Contraxiom #1

Work

Contraxiom #2

Geeks

For geeks, the future is looming

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, the future is promising

Future

Looming vs. Promising

Geeks

• Risks lurk in every unknown

• Planning for the worst is our

duty

• A direct path connects present

to future

Non-geeks

• The sun will come out tomorrow

• No need to see everything that

could possibly go wrong

• If we can dream it, we can do it

Contraxiom #2

Future


Our plans suck.

What happens

Contraxiom #2

Future

Tip for geeks Find the essence of their vision;

ignore implausibility for now.

Tip for non-geeks Talk about risks and share the

burden of them.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #2

Future

Contraxiom #3

Geeks

Geeks know in their head, through detailed analysis

Non-geeks

Non-geeks know in their gut, by getting the gist

Knowing


Head vs. Gut

Geeks

• Analytical process, verifying the

parts to know the whole

• Details reveal truth

• Emotions get in the way, test

intuition

• Objectivity makes me feel safe

Non-geeks

• Something to relate to

• Details cloud truth

• Emotions are important, trust

intuition

• Shared subjectivity makes me

feel safe

Contraxiom #3

Knowing

Tribal warfare.

What happens

Contraxiom #3

Knowing

Tip for geeks

When they don’t get it, use an

example; look for logic hidden in

their intuition.

Tip for non-geeks

When they don’t get it, use

evidence; don’t expect others to

trust your intuition.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #3

Knowing


Contraxiom #4

Geeks

For geeks, language is precise and bounded

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, language is indefinite and open

Language

Precise vs. Indefinite

Geeks

• Purpose is to transmit

information

• Language is like code

• Language should be debugged

Non-geeks

• Purpose is to share meaning

• Language is loaded

• Over-clarifying interferes with

relatedness

Contraxiom #4

Language

No fun together.

What happens

Contraxiom #4

Language


Tip for geeks

Don’t interrupt their thinking with

questions; let them enjoy a little

ambiguity.

Tip for non-geeks

Recognize that questions are a

form of respect; for them,

clarifying is fun.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #4

Language

Contraxiom #5

Geeks

For geeks, good is absolute

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, good is contextual

Good

Absolute vs. Contextual

Geeks

• Good and bad are black and

white

• Principles always trump results

• If you do bad, you are bad

Non-geeks

• Good and bad come in shades

of gray

• Results sometimes trump

principles

• Good people sometimes do bad

things

Contraxiom #5

Good


Stuck in the box.

What happens

Contraxiom #5

Good

Tip for geeks

Notice your outrage; consider

letting go of absolutes.

Tip for non-geeks

When you encounter inflexibility,

discover the principle at stake,

propose an alternative principle.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #5

Good

Contraxiom #6

Geeks

For geeks, lying is evil

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, lying is not good

Lying


Geeks

• Lying is evil; Truth is sacred

• If you don’t know it’s true, and

you say it, you’re lying

• Exaggerations and opinions

stated as fact are lies

Non-geeks

• Lying is bad manners

• If you know it’s not true, and

you say it, you’re lying

• Exaggerations and opinions are

normal speech

Evil vs. Not Good

Contraxiom #6

Lying

Outrage.

What happens

Contraxiom #6

Lying

Tip for geeks

Resist the urge to qualify

sweeping statements.

Tip for non-geeks

Acknowledge hyperbole; say “I

believe” when making unproven

assertions.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #6

Lying


Contraxiom #7

Geeks

For geeks, “wanting” should be irrelevant to decisions

Non-geeks

For non-geeks, “wanting” is essential to decisions

Wanting

Irrelevant vs. Essential

Geeks

• Wanting is subjective and

shouldn’t be used

• Wanting is selfish

• Expressing want risks ridicule

Non-geeks

• Wanting is how you know

what’s important

• My want does not negate your

want

• I don’t trust people without

wants

Contraxiom #7

Wanting

Geeks MIA

What happens

Contraxiom #7

Wanting


Tip for geeks

Explicitly point out what’s

important to you.

Tip for non-geeks

Ask them about what is

important to them.

One thing we can do

Contraxiom #7

Wanting

7 ways to get along

7. Wanting irrelevant vs. essential

6. Lying evil vs. bad manners

5. Good absolute vs. contextual

4. Language precise vs. indefinite

3. Knowing analysis vs. gist

2. Future looming vs. promising

1. Work problems vs. visions

How can you use this?

1. In the daily moments

2. At critical organizational transitions


Contraxioms every day

Triggers Levers

Am I triggered by

this?

What lever will help him

get this?

Contraxioms in transitions

• Launching major projects

• Project crises

• Leadership changes

• Mergers

Questions?


Our challenge to you …

www.leadinggeeks.com 310-694-0450 [email protected] [email protected]

hey just don’t get it! - leading geeksleadinggeeks.com/.../04/they-just-dont-get...geeks.pdf ·...

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