HORSE FORCE

THE TOGETHER GUIDE TO PICKING A GRAND NATIONAL WINNER

Here at Together, the closest we normally get to gambling is shoveling our coppers into the 2p machines at Goose Fair. But even we will cheerfully partake in the hallowed festival of entry-level betting that is the Grand National. On this one day we’d usually brave the bookies, pretend we know what we’re doing and gather to watch our horse gallop its way to inevitable defeat.

This year, however, we’ve tried a different tack, and asked our enlightened twitter followers to share their racing tips. This is the rather splendid result. Proudly presenting Horse Force: the not-entirely-serious Together Guide to the Grand National.

HeI’d go for the horse name

that reminds me most of

an old girlfriend,

who laughed like one.@orphya

heHE

hEHe

Go for the one with the kindest looking eyes.@katetetlow

Make a selection purely based on the name being something topical. So, this year, I’m hoping there’ll be a horse called ‘Burger Legs’.@pictographik

I close my eyes & imagine all of them trampling on my late Grandad’s flower bed. I bet on the one that angers me the least.@Albooth 1st

We’d get the horses drinking Sambuca shots and playing darts. The last horse standing, well that’d be our tip. @Workspace1

We usually just opt for the best kisser. @bottletopdesign

We usually just opt for the best kisser. @bottletopdesign

name sounds like anPreferably one whose

alcoholic beverage.@ OzBurns

Every time a unicorn enters the Grand National it wins. Always go for the horse that won’t show its forehead.

@IzziMcIz

P O O H!

At the dog races I always bet on the greyhound who has just had a poo.

Does that count? @JaredLeftlion

H!

It’s really

important to have a good-looking

jockey.@lynntulloch

It’s really

important to have a good-looking

jockey.@lynntulloch

Go for one that looks calm and sensible. This applies to wives as well as horses.@bilbodad29

Generally I cut out the names of all the runners, in equal sizes, yellow paper with a pink trim, I get a priest to bless them, leave them to settle for 48 hours and then throw them to the wind and whichever returns gets the bet.

Or I go with the name I like.@Kirst laR

Thanks to everyone who tweeted us with your tips. We asked and you delivered – in your own special, strange way.

Congratulations to @Albooth, who gallops home with the red rosette and a £30 bet. We regret that Burger Legs will not be running in this year’s race.