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How Churchill's granddaughter was seduced and then brazenly betrayed by 'scribbling dwarf' Martin Amis | Mail Online

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How Churchill's granddaughterwas seduced and then brazenlybetrayed by 'scribbling dwarf'Martin AmisBy EMMA SOAMESLast updated at 9:17 AM on 06th June 2009

Like all good relationships it started as a friendship. But only 24 hours after I began anaffair with Martin Amis, I discovered that he had spent the night with another woman.

It was early 1975, and our friendship began to turn to something else following a longand involved game of backgammon at my flat in London. I had taught him how to playmonths before, and he had annoyingly and consistently started to win.

I confess I was truly surprised when he made a move on me that night, not leastbecause at that point I believed him still to be in a relationship with his then girlfriend,the writer Julie Kavanagh, who was also a close friend of mine. I had always thoroughlyenjoyed his company and never viewed him as a potential suitor because he was withJulie.

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So I asked him about where things stood with Julie, and he told me that it was overbetween them. I accepted this without further questioning and we ended up spendingthe night together.

However, the path of love was not initially smooth. We all know sex can ruin goodfriendships, and I feared losing a friend. With good reason, it seemed - the next day hedisappeared and didn't get in touch as he said he would.

At that point, I was prepared to write off the previous night as a blip in a platonicfriendship, although my feelings for him were changing. It was then I discovered,through a mutual friend, that he had spent the very next night with another woman.

My fury at this knew no bounds, and when I confronted him, I told him that, if he wasgoing to behave in that way, there was no question of us spending any time togetherand that there was a door to the flat through which he could walk right then.

But he apologised profusely - which was his usual method of mollifying a cheated lover- and, yes, I forgave him.

Perhaps I don't have very high expectations of my boyfriends, but I thought then andstill do that in the course of the love affair that followed, Martin was affectionate, helaughed at my jokes and didn't seek to control me.

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Skinny Sharon Stoneshows off her pandaeyes as she venturesout with no make-upBack to basics for actresswho looked thinner thanever

It's true love, saysKatie Price's new cage-fighter boyfriend afterfive-week romance(Oh, and he couldn't looka gift horse in the mouth)

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Martin Amis and Julie Kavanagh: The couple dated before Amis moved onto herbest friend Emma Soames

My memories of the year we spent together have been playing on my mind this weeksince the woman Martin left to be with me, Julie Kavanagh, wrote a detailed account ofher relationship with him in a quarterly journal published by the high-minded Economistmagazine.

It wasn't until I read her account of their relationship that I realised that, while Martinwas seducing me, he hadn't told her their relationship was over. Julie and I have beenfriends for years, but have never discussed the relationships we had with Martin in anydetail.

She wrote: 'I went into the sitting room and saw Martin slam down the receiver. Theaddress book was lying open at S. It was Emma Soames, my best friend.'

Full of remorse, I called Julie earlier this week and apologised to her for this unknowingtreachery on my part.

'Really, didn't you know?' she said. I explained what was said between me and Martin,she laughed and we went on to have a good old gossip about the man who behavedhonourably to neither of us - though not at the same time.

But at the time, remember it was the Seventies - none of us were judgmental about thegiddy reel of our relationships.

More...

Ex-girlfriend reveals the many lovers and affairs of literary lothario MartinAmis

What a horrid little man: A former lover of serial philanderer Martin Amishas written about their affair. Flattering it ain't

What emerges now is that there was a certain modus operandi to the romanticadventures of Mr Amis. There was probably always an overlap in all his relationshipswith women - to my knowledge he never left someone simply to be alone. He was noGreta Garbo. That meant that the edges of all his relationships were likely to be tingedwith duplicity and infidelity.

I now know that Martin started an affairwith me before he had formally separatedfrom Julie, and I also conclude - 30 yearslater - that he almost certainly was'seeing' my successor, Mary Furness, aTimes Literary Supplement contributor,before he left me.

I have chosen to keep my counsel forthree decades on what precisely went onbetween myself and Martin Amis. But Ifeel the time has come to write about theman my brothers took great pleasure incalling 'the Scribbling Dwarf'.

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Nurse loses four stonein 100 days - to revealtwo cancerous tumourshidden under 10

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Martin Amis with his second wifeIsabel Fonseca at the Serpentine

Gallery in 1995

Our paths first crossed in the earlySeventies, when he was dating Julie. Ofcourse, I had known about him for someyears, partly through reading his seminalnovel The Rachel Papers.

We were all in our mid-20s and living inLondon, and became part of a gangwhich included writer ChristopherHitchens, American Vogue's currenteditor Anna Wintour and poet JamesFenton.

Soon, I found myself bumping into Martineverywhere: a diminutive figure shod instacked shoes - a la Monsieur Sarkozy -and velvet trousers, his hair lapping overhis coat collar.

I wasn't physically attracted to him then, but he was fun and clever. He spoke in a quietdrawl and what came out of his mouth was consistently original and hilarious.

Maybe it's in my Churchillian genes (I am one of Winston's granddaughters), but I toolove playing with the language and Martin and his partner-in-crime ChristopherHitchens were past masters at this.

They practically invented a new English slang - 'Brill in the bag' for a good lover, and'hoping for a groping'. At this time Julie was ' playing saucepans' with Amis after hemoved into her flat, perched romantically in the treetops of Pimlico.

What was it about him that brought out the nesting instinct in her, I wonder now? WhereI, like many of my contemporaries, had only champagne and Kiehls moisturiser in thefridge, Julie became thoroughly domesticated, cooking up delicious dinners andthrowing excellent parties.

We were a gang, but often Julie, Martin and I spent evenings without the rest of them,during which I taught Martin backgammon. He took to it with an alarming alacrity, andthen had the audacity to beat me: once I threw the board at him, frustrated at myinability to win.

Later, he owned up that he had been secretly reading books about the theory of thegame. Somehow in those days, boning up on anything or taking something seriouslywas not acceptable. But that was Martin - his intellectual curiosity was considerable andhe had to win at everything he did.

Once we started dating and had overcome the hiccup of his initial infidelity, we began tospend a lot of time together.

Both of us were living and working in London - he was literary editor of the NewStatesman; I was working on Londoner's Diary at the Evening Standard.

We were an item. We'd meet up after work at the then very fashionable Zanzibar inCovent Garden and dined in cheap local restaurants around Bayswater, where he livedat least two nights a week. Sometimes we went to parties together. He was easygoingand attentive. I was happy with him and having fun.

INCHES of fatMother Rachel Drago'sdiet saved her life

Helena Bonham Cartermakes waves in Malibuin red swimsuitMother-of-two took hereccentric sense of styleto the beach

Oh Anne Robinson,just why can't you agegracefully?Surgery or not, Anne setsan awful example, saysLINDA KELSEY

Walk? In these heels!Victoria Beckham rideson a buggy as shearrives at HeathrowHas Posh finally met apair of stilettos that shecan't handle?

It's raining cats andslumdogs as FreidaPinto is spotted filmingfor new Woody AllenflickPair were spotted inNotting Hill

Caster Semenyaarrives home in SouthAfrica to a heroine'swelcome - as threetimes the normal levelof testosterone is foundin her body

Eva Longoria and theDesperate Housewivesprepare for battle asAmazonian warriors inseason sixThe women of WisteriaLane are back

Gordon Ramsayadmits his youngchildren watch his foul-mouthed antics onHell's KitchenChef brought his wife andtwo daughters along to aU.S. TV interview

How TV vet Michael

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Byronic magnetism: Martin Amis pictured in the 1970s. His Jagger lips andintelligence attracted many socialites

I was taller - he's only 5ft 4in, I'm just 5ft 7in - but this wasn't a problem for Martin. Ilived in very high heels during those years and Martin never asked me to go outwearing flats. And I know not why, but I have a weakness for small men.

My last boyfriend, the late architect Christopher Bowerbank, was also a lot shorter thanme.

I also like men who are cleverer than me. Like playing tennis with a pro, it raises yourgame. I didn't go to university, and I suppose by Martin's standards I was a bit of anignoramus. But it wasn't an issue.

We shared many mutual friends and he introduced me to fascinating characters likeClive James and James Fenton although, to be brutally honest, I found much of theliterary world a tad crusty and dishevelled.

Still, Martin wasn't so enamoured of it all that he wasn't prepared to take on board adifferent set of people. This included, notably, my family. I am one of five siblings andwe stick close.

During the Seventies, my parents lived in a millhouse in Hampshire, where everyweekend most of us would congregate, bringing with us various friends - but only thosewe thought would contribute to the huge fun that we had on our own.

I knew Martin would enjoy meeting my family - particularly my brothers - and that theywould have a worthy sparring partner in him. So, early on in our relationship we roareddown the M3 in my mini with blacked-out windows to spend the first of many weekendsat the Mill on the Floss, as I called it.

Having brought us all up rather strictly, by then my parents - my father Christopher wasfor a time the British ambassador to Paris - were more relaxed about their children andseemed to enjoy the invasion of youth every weekend.

To an outsider, it must have been a daunting experience. We are a noisy family whodon't particularly believe in listening so we all talk at once - very loudly.

My brothers were always deeply suspicious of my boyfriends who they regarded asdistinctly alternative. 'Did he go to School?' my brother Nicholas would ask of me -meaning Eton. (The answer was invariably no). They took to Martin at once, though noteveryone in my parents' household - where visitors were expected to leave a tip for thehelp - was so charmed by him.

Martin once gave the daily a signed copy of his book, Dead Babies, and she flickedthrough it looking for the tip she would have greatly preferred. (Indeed, my mother usedto leave a £5 note for the daily pretending it came from Martin).

I affectionately called him Little Keith - after a small character with a passion for dartswho appeared in one of his early books. But even that was trumped by my brothers,who came up with the Scribbling Dwarf, a nickname which he bore with fortitude.

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ie-Griffith-checks-rehab-again.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208842/Working-Girl-star-Melanie-Griffith-checks-rehab-again.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208842/Working-Girl-star-Melanie-Griffith-checks-rehab-again.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208767/Joe-Coles-wife-Carly-reveals-surprising-secret-slim-figure--croissants-chocolate.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1208761/Michael-Jackson-lethal-levels-anaesthetic-body-died.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208849/Michael-Jackson-asked-carry-fourth-child-claims-British-doctor.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208788/Geri-Halliwell-shows-playful-recreates-Titanic-love-scene-Henry-Beckwith.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208823/Big-Brother-Glamour-model-Sophie-asks-Is-Sweden-near-America.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208823/Big-Brother-Glamour-model-Sophie-asks-Is-Sweden-near-America.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1208823/Big-Brother-Glamour-model-Sophie-asks-Is-Sweden-near-America.html



Emma Soames in 1973, and today, as editor of Saga magazine

At home, we all used to play a game of dreaming up people's most unlikely remarks.Martin's was: 'You sound depressed. D'you want to talk about it?' because he was notinterested in listening to people's personal woes: he has a core of steel.

But while he may scorn the language of feelings, perversely he could be romantic andsay very sweet things.

Apart from the hilarity of Hampshire, on other weekends we repaired to Barnet in NorthLondon to stay with his father, Kingsley, and stepmother, Elizabeth Jane Howard.

This was a fairly eccentric and highminded set-up. The house was comfortable butshambolic - you slept in any room that didn't have another body in it. Life revolvedaround long visits to the pub, where Martin would discuss politics with Kingsley - orlisten to Kingsley sounding off on the subject.

I was quite scared of Kingsley, who most surely did not suffer fools at all, but he wasalways kind and forbearing towards me.

Elizabeth Jane was long-suffering to the point of sainthood: she appeared to put upwith Kingsley's boorish habits and lack of consideration with extraordinary serenity -until she quite abruptly left him some time later.

One puzzling but attractive aspect of Martin's character was his unquestioning love forhis father. Kingsley was a supremely selfish man, and while he expected Martin to readall his work and then to discuss it with him in long sessions in the pub, he adamantlyrefused to read any of Martin's books.

As his girlfriend, I found this deeply wounding and very rude, but when I asked him forhis reaction, Martin just laughed it off - he was totally forgiving of his father's behaviour.

He was an attentive son who - during the time that I was with him - visited his fatherfrequently and showed unconditional loyalty under sometimes most tryingcircumstances.

We also made the pilgrimage to Ronda in Spain where Martin's mother Hilly lived withher partner Lord Kilmarnock in a rundown old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.

There, we played pool, walked and talked, and howled with laughter at Hilly's eccentricbut utterly loveable way with words.

By this time, Martin and I were through the first months of blistering physical attractionand had settled into being a couple. But there was absolutely no talk of the future oneither side.

The 'm' word never came up and 'the cusp of hell', as Martin used to describe thatmoment when women suddenly want to get married, had not descended on me.

I suspect my father had other ideas, though, when he invited Kingsley Amis andElizabeth Jane Howard to lunch at the Mill. Everyone was on their best behaviour forthis event: for once Kingsley didn't drink too much, and my parents were most solicitous

Sophie had manyquestions: 'Is Sweden abig country? Are they allblonde?'

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- yet it didn't really gel.

I suspect around that time alarm bells began to echo in Martin's consciousness - hewas fond of me, but he most surely didn't want to spend the rest of his life with me.

Our relationship eventually ended - as all of his did, but not so many of mine - with himleaving me. Looking back today, there were signs over the previous couple of monthsof our year-long affair which I had chosen to ignore.

He became a tad less attentive, and restless, and once he refused to take me homefrom a party. Yet the end still took me by surprise. He wrote me a long, touching letterout of the blue - to which I never replied - advising me our relationship could notcontinue. He never really gave me a reason and I could not bring myself to ask for anexplanation, which would have been too painful to hear.

But perhaps the end was inevitable. Apart from anything, our work was important toboth of us.

A few weeks later, I discovered from a mutual friend that he was seeing my successorMary Furness. It was not a surprise he was seeing someone else because he wasalways seeing somebody. And Furness moved in the same circles.

Given his nature and our ages - we were only in our mid-20s and far from ready tosettle - I suppose it was just a matter of time before one of us moved on. Nevertheless,the language of the heart does not listen to logic. It felt like a betrayal, and for a coupleof months I was pretty miserable.

I have to confess to enacting a petty revenge after we broke up. I had a cleaner - alsocalled Emma - whom I had persuaded also to clean Martin's flat.

So I called her up and told her that Mr Amis no longer needed her help and to leave hiskeys with me.

Years later, Martin told me that he went off to New York, came home to find chaos, andthen sat in his flat for weeks in a rising tide of filth and dirty coffee cups before herealised the trick I had played on him.

His new girlfriend, Mary, was certainly not a domestic goddess and I doubt she sorted itout.

Nowadays, Martin is married to his second wife Isabel Fonseca, who is tolerant ofMartin's exes (God knows, their social life would be limited if she wasn't), and they havecome to dinner with me several times.

The evenings inevitably end with sentimental conversations about the past. I remembera line from one of his books which read: 'They all want to be the bitch in the book.'

Well this one didn't. Neither, while I was with him, did I think of myself as the girlfriendof a great writer. Although his use of language and his playfulness with it are positivelypyrotechnical, I find much of his work rather dark and plot-free.

Today, I am single and perfectly happy to be so, and when I think back to those timeswe spent together, my enduring image of Martin is of him perched on a sofa, rolling upa cigarette and then beckoning me to come and play backgammon.

A crook of the finger, an engaging smile and I was there - at least until the next girlcame along.

© Emma Soames

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