how to be a project manager without getting killed

220
How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed A Business Novel David Eubanks www.businessnovels.us

Upload: alfredmartins

Post on 29-Nov-2014

57 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

A Business Novel

David Eubanks

www.businessnovels.us

Page 2: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author‘s imagination or are used fictitously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Library of Congress in Publication Data LCCN: 2010915603 Various names used by companies to distinguish their software

and other products can be claimed as trademarks. The publisher uses such names throughout this book for editorial purposes only, with no intention of trademark violation. All such software or product names are in initial capitals or ALL CAPITAL letters. Individual companies should be contacted for complete information regarding their trademarks or registration.

Copyright ©2010 by David Eubanks All rights reserved. Published in the Unites States by Creative

Space, Inc. ISBN: 1453845151

Page 3: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed
Page 4: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Blank page

This is dedicated to the ones I love.

Page 5: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION .............................................................................................................. 1

CHAPTER 1 THE WAITING ........................................................................................... 3

CHAPTER 2 THE FIRST DECISION ................................................................................ 9

CHAPTER 3 WHAT IS A PROJECT PLAN? ................................................................... 14

CHAPTER 4 POST TRAUMATIC SYNDROME NOW ................................................... 16

CHAPTER 5 DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE .............................................................. 19

CHAPTER 6 A CRACKED FOUNDATION .................................................................... 25

CHAPTER 7 BLUEPRINTING....................................................................................... 29

CHAPTER 8 JUDGING FROM APPEARANCES ............................................................ 34

CHAPTER 9 THE GREAT ESCAPE ................................................................................ 36

CHAPTER 10 THE GENTLEMAN’S BARGAIN ............................................................... 39

CHAPTER 11 AN OFFER I COULDN’T REFUSE .............................................................. 44

CHAPTER 12 THE DUEL BEGINS .................................................................................. 47

CHAPTER 13 LUCKY STONES ....................................................................................... 50

CHAPTER 14 QUANTUM PHYSICS AND IT .................................................................. 54

CHAPTER 15 FINISHING THE BLUEPRINT .................................................................... 58

CHAPTER 16 GIVE ME A PROJECT PLAN ..................................................................... 61

CHAPTER 17 RISK ........................................................................................................ 63

CHAPTER 18 RESEARCHING SILVERSTRUK ................................................................. 66

CHAPTER 19 SILVERSTRUK THREATENS ..................................................................... 71

CHAPTER 20 BREAKING BAD HABITS ......................................................................... 73

CHAPTER 21 WEASELING ........................................................................................... 75

CHAPTER 22 TEST SCRIPTS ......................................................................................... 77

CHAPTER 23 GOOD INTENTIONS ON YOUR DIME ..................................................... 81

CHAPTER 24 HALF-BAKED SOFTWARE ....................................................................... 83

CHAPTER 25 TRUMPING REALITY .............................................................................. 86

CHAPTER 26 SPANKED ............................................................................................... 88

CHAPTER 27 ETHICS BY BRADLEY ............................................................................... 93

Page 6: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

6

CHAPTER 28 THE DEVIL’S WAKE UP CALL .................................................................. 98

CHAPTER 29 WHAT IS A PROJECT MANAGER SUPPOSED TO DO? .......................... 102

CHAPTER 30 THE GARDEN PARTY ............................................................................ 108

CHAPTER 31 CHARIOTS OF THE GODS ..................................................................... 111

CHAPTER 32 COMING CLEAN ................................................................................... 115

CHAPTER 33 RESETTING ........................................................................................... 120

CHAPTER 34 DAILY STATUS MEETINGS .................................................................... 123

CHAPTER 35 A LESSON IN FENCING ......................................................................... 126

CHAPTER 36 THE BALANCE OF POWER .................................................................... 130

CHAPTER 37 LANDING ON A SHORT RUNWAY ........................................................ 132

CHAPTER 38 A FINGER ON THE TRIGGER ................................................................. 135

CHAPTER 39 FRIENDLY FIRE ..................................................................................... 137

CHAPTER 40 GHOST MANAGEMENT ....................................................................... 141

CHAPTER 41 GOING LIVE .......................................................................................... 143

CHAPTER 42 PLEASE RELEASE ME ............................................................................ 144

CHAPTER 43 EPILOGUE ............................................................................................. 148

Page 7: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

1

Introduction

I‘ve read a number of business books, but I‘ve not kept count. I suspect I‘ve logged well over fifty, and I‘ve appreciated very many of them. I enjoy learning and I enjoy being entertained, and truth be told, I believe being entertained edges out the former. This book is a business novel, and is one I hope you‘ll count among those you‘ve been entertained by and learned a little bit too.

What we mean by the term ―business novel‖ is evolving. Many authors have copied the Eliyahu Goldratt and Jeff Cox template they discovered in reading their very successful book, The Goal. Many good books have been written following their example.

But I asked myself, has the genre done all it might? As I reflected, I felt that the business novel has been light on the story side—in the aspects of fiction. That‘s why I set out to write a book that is as involved in presenting engaging characters and relationships as it is business theory. I thought such a book could be called a good read based on its own entertainment value.

I wondered if a business novel could capture the reader‘s attention the way a standard novel would—with a little intrigue, suspense, and ambiguous circumstances. And have characters who have both noble traits and flaws, the way real people do. Who have lives rooted in matters outside of the workplace too, things that have bearing on how they came to the job. I thought that it could.

I tried to write this book with this in mind because I think it‘s important that we remain aware of the complex context in which we work and live. And I think it makes for a more interesting story. So I hope you are entertained by my project manager‘s experiences in this book. He has an journey you can learn from. I also trust you will discover valuable project management principles in this tale. See what you think.

David A. Eubanks Author, How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

Page 8: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

2

Page 9: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

3

Chapter 1 The Waiting

June – Nearing the project’s conclusion My phone is going to ring any time now. Vishal is going to call

tonight. What he says could get me killed. I‘m sitting in my upholstered recliner, waiting, trying to stay

calm. I‘ve put my feet up and I am watching them nervously wave back and forth like flags. I‘m not asking them to do that. It‘s dark out now. My patio doors have turned into shiny black mirrors reflecting little specks of red, blue, and orange lights from the desk behind me. Anyone could be watching me from the other side of the glass, and I wouldn‘t know. The soft hum of the computer is the only sound in the stillness. It‘s comforting, like the human heartbeat. I‘ve liked living and working here in my electronic cottage. I used to feel safe here.

I was excited about working home alone when I first set up my office. I remember when it was imagined that the telecommuting worker would find greater control over the companion worlds of work and family this way—with a computer at home and a network connection to the office. Set your own priorities and hours. Didn‘t that sound good? Flexibly arrange your day to meet the needs of your personal life, too. Go jogging in the middle of the day if you wanted to. As it turned out, my days have had no predictable beginning or end to them. I‘m always working. And I‘ve been totally exposed to offices and associates around the globe.

I am infinitely accessible, yet isolated in this room. Kept company by inanimate objects only. I have no one here to turn to, to use as a sounding board, no sympathetic soul to keep me inspired. I get my own coffee.

I‘ve got two computers—one desktop and one laptop, a digital modem, a wireless modem, a digital phone, a cellphone, four email accounts, one business, one private, two for other esoteric requirements I don‘t understand, a color scanner, Skype service with phone, SMS and VOIP communications, Microsoft Instant Messenger for those who don‘t use Skype, WebEx conferencing, GoToMeeting conferencing, TeamViewer—a free conferencing service to use when the others fail, and

Page 10: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

4

two 22‖ flat screen monitors so I can operate multiple conference sessions simultaneously. That is sheer calamity. But it looks impressive. Behind all this, cascading to the floor is a web of wires magically capable of braiding themselves into a tangle that would have drowned Houdini before he got out of them.

You don‘t notice the lack of noise, the total silence after a day or two. I got used to it quickly. The room is silent most of the time, except for the variety of tones I‘ve selected that alert me to the encroachment of humanity into my space. The desk phone rings with one tone, the cellphone another, the Skype phone another, the email yet another. These pings, tunes and chimes have become as intimately familiar to me as my own breath, and I know instantly which one to answer when it sounds. They announce there‘s news, be it good or bad.

All this trouble started in this penetrable cocoon when one of those devices brought me to a challenge that I took up. The challenge to project manage the Best Bargain deal. It‘s never been difficult to attract me with a challenge. I‘ve always responded to challenge like a bull to the waving red cape, but this time I truly felt reluctant to accept the assignment when Vincent presented it, the bull facing better odds as it turns out.

Vincent said to me, ―I‘ve been asked to approach you on this matter. They believe there is no one else they could trust with this project.‖

Vincent is the vice-president of Rest-of-World operations—the one who managed everything outside of North America and India. He is the most experienced executive in the company. He knows things, the way things really work. I trusted him.

―But me? Look, Vincent, I know projects. I‘ve been in a lot of them, but I haven‘t sat in the project manager‘s seat before.‖

―Richard, we aren‘t completing our projects. Every one of them has an open balance—months overdue. We‘re losing money, and we simply must turn this around.‖

―But this Best Bargain project. It‘s got a lot of moving parts. Is this the right one for a guy‘s maiden voyage?‖

―We can‘t wait any longer. I know you can do this. Just call me any time you need to talk. Anytime. You need to do this, Richard, for the company‘s survival, really.‖

I didn‘t give it but a few moments thought after he said that. ―Okay—okay. I‘ll do it.‖

―And you can call me anytime you need help. Anything you need, just call.‖

―I expect we‘ll be having a running conversation. Just leave your cellphone on.‖

Page 11: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

5

―Vishal will call you to make this a formal assignment. Good luck.‖

That was almost seven months ago now. It might have been true that no one else in the company had the competency to handle its complexity, and perhaps no one foolish enough to endure the anguish, not to mention the threats. But of course, no one could have forecast those.

Even in this absurd circumstance as I find myself, I am pleased I took up the challenge. To take this new role as the project manager. I think many, like me, are ―accidental project managers‖ this way. Drafted into the position.

I can truly say I tried my best to follow a professional methodology in the Best Bargain project. Strangely, I have found methodology to be as much an antidote as a best practice in this fevered company of mine. I could imagine that it has been a lot like working in an ICU, the grave patient‘s organs misfiring, failing to perform their functions.

I suppose it should have been no surprise that I had not anticipated the intricacies of the role, even though I had been a part of dozens of projects in different capacities. I have learned much. I have learned project management, not just in the mere abstract, technical sense, but in the midst of the human condition. That has been the most surprising thing to me—how much pivoted on the intangibles of the heart.

After this call, I expect I will be an alumnus of Super Software Solutions, Triple-S, we call it. Vishal may as well have rented a blimp and trailing banner and flown it over my house to announce it last week. It was his email‘s subject line that gave away the subtle clue, ―We need to talk…‖ Dot, dot, dot…code for ‗your ass is grass.‘ There is only slim hope, but I will try to stop this, get him to change his mind.

The phone is ringing. It‘s about half past ten. That makes it about 9 a.m. in Bangalore. Rather early for Vishal to be in the office.

―Good evening, Richard. Sorry for troubling you so late.‖ ―No problem, Vishal. I‘ve been expecting your call.‖ It was a remarkably good connection given the pathetically

flawed state of internet phone service, especially these international calls that seem to work no better than a short wave radio much of the time—crackling transmissions, the audio dropping out on one end of the call or the other, the unsuspecting speaker delivering a whole monologue that‘s gone unheard.

Still, we have pursued the long-distance promise of the ―offshore model,‖ its economies—brilliance at half the price, and the turn-around

Page 12: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

6

service—they’re working while you sleep, and voila, fresh-baked code for breakfast. It all works quite well, if you have an appetite for self delusion.

―Richard, I‘ll get straight to the point. I‘m afraid it has been decided that we shall ask you to turn in your papers. You know the financial difficulties we‘ve been having, and…‖ His voice trails off leaving the sentence unfinished.

―I understand, Vishal. I‘m sure you wouldn‘t put the project at risk without—careful consideration.‖

Vishal continued, ―The project is almost done anyway.‖ Vishal‘s tone of voice suggests the two of us have been set adrift

together—two comrades on a raft, sharing rations under an unforgiving tropical sun. Ha. Vishal uses his warm baritone voice to reach right through the phone and wrap his empathy around me with a hug. That‘s the anesthetic he uses.

I agree that the project is reasonably well set up and could be completed successfully. I certainly hope so, no one hopes so more than me. But Vishal wouldn‘t really quite grasp where things stand. Even though he is the Vice-President of Global Implementations. I know these things are not done until they‘re done—tombstone-on-the-grave done, not-a-damn-thing-left-to-do done. Finished, on the other hand, is an evanescent concept in Vishal‘s project lexicon, appearing in abstract conversation and vanishing when the work begins.

― ‗Almost done‘ is an alarming phrase to a project manager, Vishal. A tragic assumption most of the time.‖ I say this in the calmest of tones, but I‘d really like to shout it.

―Admittedly so, my friend. We do have some history there, don‘t we? Nonetheless, you have seen this through to the penultimate steps.‖

Of course, he doesn‘t know what those ominous last steps might hold for me. He has never heard of or from Charles Silverstruk.

―Is changing out the team generally advisable at the last hour?‖ I‘m proud of myself now—like the guy who refuses the blindfold and faces the rifle barrels wide-eyed and bold. I can be reasonable, but even as panicked as I am, I won‘t plead for my life.

―Richard, I‘m afraid so, in this case. There‘s too much bad blood stirring. Gregg believes you are threatening the flow of revenues, causing the project to be delayed with your—dogmatism, I believed he called it. It‘s time to move on.‖ Gregg is the Vice-President of North American Operations, a veteran in the company and one whose opinion carried real weight. I have struggled to maintain his support—and lost.

―We could try for success,‖ I said. ―What do you mean?‖ ―Finish it right and get paid in full for a change.‖

Page 13: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

7

―Sorry, Richard. Unfortunately, Rajan shares Gregg‘s concerns. Neither Best Bargain nor Triple-S can tolerate the possibility of more delays. It‘s been decided, Richard.‖ The consensus between Rajan, CEO of Triple-S, and Gregg is a checkmate to the third power. This conversation was as hopeless as I thought it would be.

And so it is, the guillotine has fallen, my head lopped off and dropped into the dark collection of the Triple-S chronicles. I am terrified at what Mr. Charles Silverstruk will have to say or, more importantly, do about this. Am I excused of an execution by this one Vishal has delivered? I could hope so, but I can‘t take that chance. This project must be finished, I have to see to that—to save myself. But I better finish packing now.

I have turned on all the lamps and my bedroom seems too bright, surgeon-ready. My suitcase is lying wide-mouthed on the bed. I am arching underclothes into the case. The mindless activity of packing gives me time to think.

I tell myself that regardless of this turn of events, I have proven myself in the trade. I have managed a big project, the delivery of an ERP system, a software system Best Bargain would use to run their entire company. It was a wounded, complex project too. What a learning experience. What I know now about the effects of the human heart—with its frailties, the grasping hopes, the malevolence, well I suppose I have always known some of that in some oblique way. But now I have been reawakened to it all, and I had not been so vigilant about it as I am now.

This Best Bargain project had been swallowing me into a black hole—a black hole of what, I asked myself? Of professional and moral compromise. What an implausible circumstance to encounter in my life. Then to find my resuscitation coming from this dark heart‘s ominous challenge to me. Wisdom awakened by an evil taunt. It was the consequence of my own cowardice that provoked that beast. I don‘t like thinking that. How could this have happened?

Was it just coincidence—my encountering Charles Silverstruk, like two bullets colliding in thin air. Strange things happen in the fog of war, don‘t they? Two welded projectiles fall to earth in the face of an unwitting soldier splayed on the ground, scared. And there laid the notice an inch from his nose that this battle was a very real one and the consequences severe, life threatening. I know this project got very real for me when I got the notice.

Now I have to find a way to finish the project and finally escape the jeopardy I have faced for so many months. I need to be moving quickly now. I‘m not guessing whether Charles Silverstruk had heard the bad news right along with me.

Page 14: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

8

My bag is almost full. Before I go I tell myself that I‘ll turn the thermostat down, turn off all the lights and draw the curtains closed. That‘s odd. I should be running for the door. I am probably forgetting something important I should do.

The phone is ringing again. I go to my desk. The caller I.D. reads ―Eastern Caskets, Inc.‖ I should have expected that. This would probably be Sebastian, Charles Silverstruk‘s man, calling from their home office. Or maybe Charles himself. I‘m not answering. I stand frozen in place until it stops ringing. It gets quiet again. Whoever it was is leaving no voice mail message. I quick-step to the bedroom to get my bag.

The phone is ringing yet again. Forget it, I am telling myself. But I am compelled by its threat to check the caller ID. Unknown caller, it says. I let it ring through. A voice begins speaking. ―Richard, he‘s on his way. You better get out of there.‖ It wasn‘t Sebastian‘s or Charles‘ voice. But who? Nevermind. I set my bag down in the hallway and locked the condo door behind me.

Page 15: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

9

Chapter 2 The First Decision

Seven Months Earlier I was glad to be back from India. I enjoyed taking a shower in my

own bathroom and the taste of my own coffee, sitting at my own desk. The experience there had been enlightening in a troubling way. I found Rajan, the CEO and founder, had gotten things out of order—building software solutions before he knew how he would compete with the current market. He seemed oblivious to the research that went into a business plan. But, he was eager to be wealthy, he knew that. I left wondering how any of us could help him build a successful company when he had such disregard for business fundamentals. Nonetheless, I got down to business.

The Skype icon displayed on my computer screen signifying my call was in process. A similar icon would appear on Gregg‘s computer notifying him of the incoming call. It rang more times than I usually allowed, but Gregg was known for his multi-tasking habits. He commonly handled more than one call at a time, talking on one line, texting in other windows, processing it all seemingly simultaneously.

At first I had been amazed at his intellectual dexterity, but later saw that though he alternated between discussions rapidly, he could not co-process communications. He lost the communication‘s thread and missed a lot that went on. Later I saw his multi-tasking as a symptom, not a skill. Gregg was overloaded managing all operations in the U.S. and Canada and trying to squeeze too many tasks into too little time. He was deluding himself thinking he could do that, and shared a company-wide malady—trying to focus on more than one subject at a time.

―Hello, Richard, how‘s it going?‖ Gregg intoned in that lilting New Hampshire accent. As harried as he surely was, Gregg always conveyed a calm reassurance.

―You know Vishal has appointed me the Best Bargain project manager?‖

―And we need you. Paul is swamped.‖ ―I‘ll get the kick-off meeting scheduled ASAP.‖

Page 16: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

10

―No need. Paul has already held the kick-off meeting, so that‘s one less thing on your list of things to do.‖

―That‘s unfortunate. I hope he set expectations right. That‘s a critical meeting—the rules of engagement and all that.‖

This was not welcome news. I had been witness to kick-off meetings in the past. It was meeting where team members were identified, responsibilities were made clear and communication protocols were set. Customer and consultant need to start off on the same page, like knowing who to talk to and when, and what documentation would be available and where. I saw the challenge of keeping the effort coordinated like directing an orchestra. It was very difficult if the members don‘t understand how it would be conducted. I needed Best Bargain to understand how this project was going to be run. Now it was likely that I‘d have to do some remedial education which could feel like changing the rules after the game had started. It was a clumsy beginning.1

―Who are my company contacts?‖ I asked. ―Alex Silverstruck is CEO. Donald Moore is Operations

Manager.‖ ―What should I know about them?‖ ―They‘re a little tense. Had a bad experience once before. But

you‘ll do fine with them.‖ A wounded client I figured was not going to give us the benefit of

the doubt when things didn‘t go well. Like a lover on the rebound, there‘s baggage there that can‘t be taken lightly.

I first met Gregg at a Las Vegas trade show long before we both joined Triple-S. We sat together at the a huge rectangular bar, half the size of a tennis court, and tried to talk over the piercing sounds of a casino‘s incessant bell-ringing, horn-blasting triumph over their gambling guests. He told me he had begun his career as a programmer and progressed up the ladder to product manager, then on to executive positions negotiating contracts with strategic partners for a small division of a Fortune 100 firm. There he had played a key role in a program that solicited partnerships with small IT consulting firms. They paid a handsome entry fee hoping to get in on the ground floor of a plan to launch a software solution set based on the Giant Software Business First ERP.

The idea was to integrate a combination of various other software vendors‘ solutions, and target certain vertical markets. Great idea, an ERP solution from a world leader in ERP solutions, the same vendor the industry giants had chosen, now made available to the small to medium-

1 See Kick-Off Meeting in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 17: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

11

sized company. It was all summed up in a great mission statement. That was apparently about as far as they got.

He said the thing might have worked except his company lacked the competencies to accomplish it, or words to that effect. Seems no one got around to fleshing out a project plan for the effort, or the sheer number of blank cells in the task and resources grid would have jumped off the page at them. Depending on their capacity for self-delusion, it should have stopped them in their tracks.

Gregg delivered his observations as dispassionately as a medical examiner over a corpse. At the end of his story, he broke into a slight smile of an inscrutable sort—maybe amused, maybe embarrassed, I couldn‘t tell. He casually raised his glass of wine to his lips, not in a toast to the sacrificed, but as just another swallow of life.

Was the venture a gamble or a calculated business risk? It‘s hard to define the difference sometimes, but as I listened to him I thought how all such ventures are more attractive when using other people‘s money. He seemed not to be bothered with the recklessness of their venture. Gregg went along with it—he was well paid—and I guessed he did his best, all the while sensing that this was ―an idea ahead of its time,‖ as he said. And so a lot of small consulting firms felt very screwed when it failed miserably.

But what was he to do? I asked myself. Gregg had four children, all young, and a stay-at-home wife. Survival. Security. They were conscience-shaping motivations.

When it all submerged into a hopeless, murky puddle, Gregg left the company for another firm who hired him then a month later declared bankruptcy and let him go. Again, he did not protest the injustice of the act. Didn‘t utter one word of complaint, didn‘t offer one pained expression. It made me pause to think of the old saying, I guess what goes around, comes around. Maybe Gregg was resigned to it.

Gregg continued, ―This Best Bargain project is very complicated. If we didn‘t need the cash as badly as we do, I might have walked away from this one. We‘ve got one independent software vendor, Giant Software, two of our own solutions and probably several custom developments.‖

―Desperate times, desperate measures. How much did they put down?‖ I asked.

―We took a ninety thousand dollar retainer.‖ ―So far, so good.‖ ―And there‘s something else. They want to go live May 1. That‘s

in a little more than ninety days.‖ ―Ninety days? Have we ever completed any full-scale project in

ninety days?‖

Page 18: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

12

―You can make history.‖ I sensed a snicker in his voice. ―Yeah, sure, me and Amelia Earhart.‖ ―You can learn to thrive on danger.‖ I don’t want to, I thought. ―One more thing. Have we ever implemented all these solutions

together in a single project?‖ I asked. ―No, no, never have. This is an all-new challenge.‖ ―All untested then. Christ, Gregg, we are in trouble.‖ I hung up with Gregg and placed a call to Vincent. ―Good afternoon, Vincent.‖ I wanted to hear any initial input

Vincent might offer to get this project off on the right foot. ―Well, we‘re flying off into uncharted territory. These solutions have never been implemented together.‖

―Not good news, my friend.‖ ―So tell me what I should do in a situation like this?‖ I‘d

experienced enough to know that first-times at anything necessarily means trouble, but it would help to develop a better view of what I might expect.

―You‘ll have to get a test system up as soon as possible. See if this thing can work at all.‖

―That‘s kinda like wondering if the landing gear works. It has to.‖ ―The most important thing in any project occurs at the very

beginning. This is going to sound so obvious, but you‘ve got to define the problem you‘re trying to solve first. You‘d be amazed how many projects start off with as many differing views of the problem as there are stakeholders.‖

―They‘ve already said their current system is too manual. I‘ve got that.‖

―Everyone says that. And that‘s too vague. You‘ve got to know where, when, why and how is it too manual. You‘ve got to get the details documented in a business process blueprint.‖

―I‘ll make plans as soon as I hang up here. Be out there Monday. Shouldn‘t be too hard to do.‖

―You‘ll be surprised. Sometimes their current practice will be utter nonsense, and they‘ll want you to replicate it. Ask you to build them a replica and put a ribbon on it like it was all new. In other cases, the right hand won‘t know what the left hand is doing. That‘s why you must get the problem clearly defined before you propose a solution blueprint. Or you might end up solving the wrong problem.‖

―Okay. I‘ll try not to amputate the wrong leg.‖ ―Be very sure you understand the inputs that feed each

transaction, the decision points within the transaction, and the outputs. I‘m talking about who is involved, what kind of communication—emails,

Page 19: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

13

phone calls, faxes, and what determines what action happens next and what the next guy in the process gets in the handoff.‖

―Naturally.‖ ―Your favorite question will be ―What else?‖ Dig and dig some

more.‖ ―Boxers or briefs? —that sort of thing, right?‖ Vincent didn‘t

laugh. ―It‘s very easy to let these details slip by in a long meeting. People

get tired. Make assumptions. Tell you later, ‗I thought you meant that.‘ Or ‗I just assumed you would do this or that.‖

―All right, so get things clear. Don‘t leave room for misunderstandings.‖

―Yes sir, and as important as all that is, find out what happens when things go wrong. Find out how they fix a transaction that went badly.‖

―I gotcha.‖ ―Don‘t be hurried, Richard. Take the time it takes.‖ I wasn‘t feeling so good after the call. I was looking at a project

with a software system that I couldn‘t be sure would work and with a smarting customer who had already been burnt by another consulting firm. I hoped it wouldn‘t get more difficult than this.

Page 20: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

14

Chapter 3 What is a Project Plan?

I had worked alone for some time, but this assignment made me feel more alone than usual. It was new territory for me, and I thought I was going to spend a lot of time consulting with myself. I wondered how that would go.

They say it takes as little as two weeks alone in a room before you feel the onset of psychosis. I‘m alone a lot. I had to wonder about this. Some days I found myself seated at my desk, staring at my big screen TV. It‘s 52 inches wide, or tall, or diagonally, I don‘t remember, but it‘s big and it stands there on a matching black glass table, like an altar, dominating the room. Calling to me. Kneel.

I sometimes wanted to turn it on first thing in the morning, to have some company. I knew I couldn‘t. If I did I‘d find myself still watching it moronically at noon. It leeches energy from its victims, people like me, and wastes more time than the DMV.

My circumstance made me think of life marooned on a desert island. Hallucinating in a hot stupor. Staring at a coconut tree until it begins to look like Marylin Monroe. She winks at me. I kiss her passionately. Her lips are terribly chapped. I hug her jagged waist and try to lay her down. But she won‘t budge. I awake. She‘s a tree. I release her, and go sit down again on a log. I stare at a giant sea turtle basking on the beach. I am afraid to look at it too long.

I dismissed the reverie and got to work. I thought I could show progress by getting a project plan in their hands, even a minimal one, and by sending them software licenses, too. I called Paul and left a message asking that he send a pro forma project plan to Donald right away. I‘d flesh it out later.

Sending the licenses was an easy task that I could check off quickly. We‘ve already had Best Bargain‘s money for two months. They were going to start asking about the licenses any day. I called the home office to check on them.

―Ravi, have you cut the purchase orders for the Best Bargain licenses?‖

―Yes, Richard. I just sent payment to Giant yesterday.‖

Page 21: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

15

―Yesterday? And the others?‖ ―Not yet.‖ ―Why not?‖ ―I‘ll get to it soon.‖ ―Soon? Why not now?‖ ―No worries, Richard. I get the licenses.‖ ―Ravi, what‘s up? Why haven‘t you already ordered the other

licenses? Tell me.‖ ―We have a cash flow situation. Just a temporary thing.‖ ―Temporary? We‘ve had the retainer for two months.‖ ―It‘s just a temporary cash flow situation.‖ ―Ravi, stop repeating yourself. What you‘re saying is we‘ve spent

their money, aren‘t you? We don‘t have the funds, do we?‖ ―I‘m sorry, Richard. We don‘t.‖ ―And when will we have the money?‖ ―Probably next week.‖ ―From where?‖ ―It will come in.‖ ―From who?‖ ―Richard, please, it‘s just a temporary situation. Give me until

Friday.‖ ―Okay, Ravi. I think I get it.‖ We didn‘t have the money, and we had no idea when we would.

Maybe Friday would be a magic day.

Page 22: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

16

Chapter 4 Post Traumatic Syndrome Now

One of the blessings about working at home is you can wear your pajamas all day. I didn‘t wear pajamas, but if I had, I‘d only change clothes on the weekends. As it was, I wore flannel gym pants and a tee-shirt every day, no socks. I started this day like almost all the rest. I turned on the computer and let it boot unattended. I made a fresh pot of coffee, eight cups, not ten. A pot of ten cups left me only mouth puckering dregs to drink by two in the afternoon. Better to make a fresh pot then.

I popped two slices of whole wheat bread in the toaster, my personal mockery of a healthy diet, and each day I consider and reject pouring a glass of fruit juice; coffee will have tainted my taste buds before I could consider swallowing something that sweet. I threw out a lot of juice.

I opened the patio drapes to let in a beaming suggestion that there lies a connection to me and the natural world. Business will consume my consciousness the rest of the day and into the night. The light of day can barely compete with a computer monitor.

The Windows melody sang, and my screen came alive. I quickly checked emails. It was time to get things rolling for this project. I‘d have a chat with Paul first thing to take the temperature of the situation.

Being introduced in the role of project manager so late in the process—the deal was closed some two months prior—demanded some prompt execution before Triple-S was exposed for ineptness from the very outset. To move things along I asked Paul to send a preliminary project plan to Best Bargain with the note explaining that it would be refined soon. This was inadequate given that two months had already passed.

At 47 years old, Paul had been around the world doing implementations for a variety of companies in Ghana, in France, Hawaii and elsewhere. He was well exposed to the vagaries of these things, and no amount of calamity shook him. He was an intrepid, though beleaguered consultant, who had single-handedly led all of those North American projects, those almost-all-unfinished projects, with negligible help from his two other colleagues.

Page 23: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

17

I reached Paul on Skype to discuss the approach to the Best Bargain implementation.

―Paul, I hope you don‘t take offense with my being asked to be the project manager on this one.‖

―Why should it bother me?‖ ―I realize you‘ve been asked to do about everything over the past

years. Seems like it‘s an overload situation. Maybe another hand can help bring some order to these implementations?‖

―Maybe. The fact is we‘ve truly completed only a couple implementations. When they get complicated, we get into trouble.‖ I sat up in my office chair and rested my chin in the palm of my hand, considering the bad news.

Paul lived in a technological Ponzi scheme, the newest deal providing life sustaining cash and new hope for the company, while the obligations of the new deal only compounded the pressures to assuage the open demands of the previous. He acknowledged that there were over two dozen projects in North America still unfinished, hanging in an eternal limbo. He was doomed, and like doomed men, his manner had compressed into a robotic acceptance of his fate. And it was all bad.

Paul told me about the calls that were burying him, but as I listened to him recount the issues I saw that these calls were not simply support calls. They were the consequences of incomplete blueprinting, if there had been any at all, and incomplete training. Paul was belatedly learning the client‘s business processes, a grievous transposition in the sequence of an implementation.

―Well, Paul, call me a dreamer, but I would like to see us follow a methodology on this one—sign-offs, documentation, status calls—the whole thing. Let‘s try to wrap this project up completely.‖

Suddenly there was a chime ringing on Paul‘s end of the line. ―What‘s that?‖ I asked. ―Richard, I‘m sorry but I‘m going to have to cut you off. I‘ve got a

support call scheduled right now, you know how it is.‖ ―Will you call me when you‘re done?‖ The Skype tone bleeped

signaling the end of the call without another word from Paul. He didn‘t call back. As I reflected on our conversation, I could see that many of those

support calls were really about remedial training, which surprised me not a bit since Paul had told me months earlier that he did not have even a training outline to work from when ―training‖ the client. Training was inevitably improvised producing a hailstorm of questions from trainees in the sessions that ricocheted from one topic to another incoherently. They never did get properly prepared this way. And so after the go-live was complete and Triple-S left the premises, the questions were lobbed at

Page 24: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

18

Paul endlessly, support call after call, never ending and never making enough sense to the callers as they tried to piece it all together.

I sent three successive emails and left three voice mail messages asking Paul to send the preliminary project plan. I got no response and nothing happened. Whether Paul could not or maybe would not comply wasn‘t clear. He had been unreachable. I was stranded, and we were already noticeably late.

Page 25: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

19

Chapter 5 Driving without a License

Magic Friday came and went without any positive news from Ravi. The licenses remained unordered.

Monday morning I called Gregg. It was hard to understand how Ravi might have led me on with blind hope alone.

―Gregg, here‘s the latest, we don‘t have the money to buy the licenses from Tracer.‖

―For Best Bargain?‖ ―Yes, and we don‘t know when we‘re going to get it. You have any

new business in the pipeline?‖ ―Nothing predictable. It‘s pretty dry out there.‖ ―What do we tell Best Bargain?‖ ―Don‘t tell them anything. Avoid the subject. Hope that

something will come through soon.‖ ―We can only do that for so long. You know if they ask the Tracer

people for licenses, they‘ll tell them they haven‘t been paid. We‘ll be outed. What do you suppose Best Bargain will say if they find out?‖

If I could buy sky hooks I would. But hiding from real possibilities were not in my scope. I had to press Gregg to face this looming crisis.

―They‘ll probably call their lawyers.‖ ―Uh-huh. You know at best this is going to delay the go-live.‖ ―Yeah, maybe, maybe not.‖ I didn‘t consider the hopeful ‗You

never know‘ conjecture as a planning option. ―This is not good. I hate to start this project being evasive.‖ ―It is what it is,‖ Gregg deadpanned. ―It‘s like finding a dead body in your trunk, that‘s what it is.‖ I closed the Skype call and took a moment to contemplate this

conversation. I turned my chair towards the wastebasket and grabbed the post-it notes. I began wadding blank post-its and tossing them into the basket. Some people squeeze stress balls, I toss post-its. So things had gotten worse.

I made a dozen shots then I turned my chair around to face my filing cabinet to grab a notepad. As I turned I took notice of the one special photo I had of my daughter, Sara. I had it propped on my

Page 26: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

20

bookshelf, and I found myself looking straight at it. That was about as close as we had been for many years. Never touching, just aware of each other‘s passing existence.

I began to think. I couldn‘t be judgmental with Gregg with his blind determination. I‘d been there, too. Hell, I was divorced because of my own blindness. Granted I was young, and I didn‘t have any idea what a pyramid scheme was when I started in it. I got in on the ―ground floor.‖ Everybody did. Selling AM-HOW diet supplements. Loading up one greedy, naive person after the next with dreams of easy money and early retirement. And with a lot of pills to fill the garage with, too.

I was a platinum guy. You‘d find me near the top of the pyramid. Making great money. Nevermind that no one but the guys at the top ever made any money. But we all hyped one another with the company chants and never saw the wrong in it.

I worked hard at it. It was all consuming, maybe addictive. The rush from accumulating so much easy money was powerful. After a time, it did dawn on me that no one was really selling enough diet supplements to produce a living wage or even get their initial investment back. I saw that the whole idea was just to recruit another recruit who would recruit some more recruits—and get their buy-in. A thousand dollars could get you a million, we implied, wearing fine suits and flashing fancy rings at the recruitment rallies. I got a cut of all the new business. But the truth of the sham didn‘t bother me because I had no place for it in my self-centered view.

My wife pleaded. My daughter cried. I was gone all the time, and even when I was home, I wasn‘t there. My life was the opening chapter of a marriage-gone-wrong book.

―Your life is all about the money, Richard,‖ my wife had said so many times.

―Would you rather I‘d didn‘t have any? How would you feel about it then?‖ was my banal reply.

Sara was nine when we divorced. She didn‘t much know me, and I didn‘t much know her. She felt like she never had a dad. What a tired old story. But it was new to me.

I stayed in the racket for another four years. Until the feds investigated the company. I don‘t know why they offered me the deal, but I flipped and became the mole they needed to gather the damning evidence.

The turning point came when one of my crystal members, one of the lowest level members, invited me to his house. I should say he pleaded with me to come to his house. His voice on the phone was shaky, like he was struggling to maintain control. When I got there, this middle-aged guy was standing in front of a weathered, old single car garage, the

Page 27: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

21

door up. Paint flaking off the jambs. It was filled back to front with boxes of AM-HOW diet supplements. He told me how he‘d put all their savings into AM-HOW and there they sat in stacks of mildewing boxes. He began to tear up and they trickled down his implacable face – like he was trying to be a man about this, but obviously his heart was breaking. His wife and children were suffering, he told me. There were health problems. He didn‘t elaborate. Not going to beg. The tears said enough. One of his cheeks suddenly started to twitch like a nervous tic. He tried to stop it with his hand. I could see he was coming apart. He needed the money back, he said.

The program didn‘t allow for refunds, I told him. He backed up and leaned on the garage, his body sagged, and his head dropped. ―Please,‖ he said.

I handed over all the cash I had on me, a few hundred dollars maybe, and loaded as much of the inventory in my car as I could. I told him to burn the rest if he wanted to. At least he could have use of his garage back. I never felt lousier.

I wore a wire to company dinners. I smiled, drank their wine, savored their steak and sent the honchos to prison with what I learned. I got off lucky with a year‘s community service. My ex moved away with Sara, and Sara and I barely spoke to one another for six years.

She was too far away. Our connection just faded. Until I decided to do something about it. That is, I decided it was important to be a parent. Finally. I got us counseling, and I drove the five and half hours it took to make the session every week for many months.

We began slowly working our way back to a relationship, and I was doing everything I could to restore her faith in me as a father. I offered her my home when she and her mother finally couldn‘t stand each other anymore. Her mom was drinking a lot. They had fights. There were school suspensions. Raging phone calls.

Sara often needed a place to escape to, but she wouldn‘t come to me. I was still too much the stranger. Instead she survived staying with friends, sleeping on floors, couches and spare bedrooms, moving from home to home for much of the last three years of high school, as best as I could tell. Her only contact with me came by cellphone, the only permanent address I had for her.

She made it into college, and I‘m paying for it. We talk now and then, but I still couldn‘t tell you where she was living. She‘s always kept moving and still kept me at arm‘s length. Abandonment is a wound that‘s hard to heal. But I‘d been working on it. Things were better, but maybe they‘d never really be good.

Her picture is there to remind me of what‘s important.

Page 28: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

22

I was feeling the anxiety of a very bad experience shaping up. I placed my second anything-you-need call to Vincent. The call was the beginning of a series of consultations I would have with him as I expected.

―Vincent, there‘s nothing you or I can do about this, I suppose, but we don‘t have the money for the Tracer software licenses. This deal is already two months old,‖ I said. ―This worries me.‖

―Don‘t waste your time worrying about things you can‘t control. What things can you move along?‖

―I need a project plan, but Paul is not getting it done. I‘ve called him several times this week. I can‘t reach him.‖

―Do it yourself then. Don‘t wait.‖ ―I don‘t know how long each of these tasks take. The due dates I

come up with are going to be bogus.‖ ―A plan is an organic thing. It changes with circumstances

anyway. Do your best, then explain to Best Bargain it‘s naturally going to change as events unfold.‖

This was sensible advice, but I expected the explanation to be rejected by both Alex and Donald. They had been prepared to expect a certain go-live date. Flexibility and organic changes may be reality, but this was going to be a tough sell. On the other hand, no matter how expectations had been set up during the sales process, it was up to me to start framing reality for our clients.

―What about the due date for the software licenses? I have no idea when we can get them. Alex is going to ask why. What do I tell them?‖

―You can renew temporary licenses over and over again until you get the real ones. If Alex confronts you on it, tell the truth. Don‘t ever lie to the customer whatever you do.‖

―The due dates in the project plan are supposed to add up to a May 1 go-live. That‘s what we‘ve promised, more or less. What should I say?‖

―Leave the go-live date blank, and don‘t promise anything you don‘t feel confident in.‖

―I‘m not feeling confident about anything.‖ And I wasn‘t looking forward to the day I had to deliver the bad news—a realistic go-live date. ―On top of that, I‘ve got about six hours before I have to fly to New York to do the blueprinting.‖

―Get something in their hands, then start fixing it as soon as possible,‖ Vincent said.

I ended the call and got busy on it. In six hours there was not much thought I could give to preparing

the project plan. I decided to download the sample project plan Giant

Page 29: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

23

Software provided on their website for their business partners. I could make small modifications to it.2

The Giant plan was a brief one that primarily listed milestones and no intervening action steps, those necessary steps that had to be completed to reach the milestone. There were only cursory entries in it such as ‗Load ERP Software‘ and ‗Import Master Data,‘ without any supporting detail of the required subtasks. Each of the other milestones lacked similar supporting details.

How much detail to supply was a question in my mind. I first thought the answer to that was related to how much detail I could manage. How many follow up phone calls could I make? How long and detailed should a status review meeting last? My second thought was my team needed close guidance, so I had to incorporate enough detail to accomplish that, too. I supposed I‘d figure the proper balance as I went along.

The number of columns in the project plan grid, the Work Breakdown Structure, was minimal. There were but five or six columns, but sufficient to track tasks, including their start and completion dates, both projected and actual, and the assigned resources.

As important as it was to include all the necessary tasks, Vincent had cautioned that it was equally essential to assign the client to various tasks. Clearly, some tasks only the client could most reliably accomplish. More important than that, Vincent had stressed, an ERP implementation was a collaborative effort and this had to be emphasized by assigning the client responsibilities, too. Too many small companies, he said, saw the purchase of an ERP system in the same way they saw ordering a sandwich. They believed it was about ordering, paying and getting handed the order all wrapped and ready for the eating. I understood what he was saying. I‘d seen as much in my subordinate roles in previous projects.

Of course, I had witnessed in my past endeavors a reality that was quite different. Only the client knew with any authority what was what in their master data, for example. And only they could approve the system design in light of their business requirements, and they had to participate in the creation and approval of the user acceptance testing scripts, and they had to be prepared to eventually take over the system reins at go-live. They as key stakeholders had to be involved.

I had been there when a go-live went badly. I‘d put it this way. Going from spectator to bull-rider results in a sudden rise to unexpected heights of reality. The fall can result in paralysis.

2 See Preparing a Project Plan in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 30: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

24

With little time left to hurriedly pack for my trip, I clicked the email Send button and the preliminary project plan was speeding on its way to Best Bargain, about seven weeks late.

Page 31: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

25

Chapter 6 A Cracked Foundation

Finish this sentence. The O‘Hare airport concourses are exceedingly long because…

The coldly rational person who rarely walks them might add: the wingspan of the aircraft are so wide.

The joker might suggest: they‘ve put wheels on luggage, have fun. The regular traveler will tell you: they want to aggravate the hell

out of you, forcing you to buy expensive drinks once on the plane. Here‘s another one for you. Why is your gate always the one at

the very end of the concourse? There is only one rational answer: Because God hates you.

I dropped myself into a gray seat at gate C27, quietly asked the Almighty to reconsider my gate assignments in the future, and to eternally punish airport management instead of me. My gate was C31, but this gate had no flight assigned to it and no one was there. I chose a seat in a dim corner, next to the window. I opened my laptop and propped it on my knees.

It was past time for me to have read the proposal Gregg provided to Best Bargain and the Request For Proposal they had sent to us. Actually, I needed to study the proposal, not merely read it. In the Triple-S sales sequence, the proposal preceded the blueprint, so the proposal was the foundational document—our first promises to the customer as well as their commitments. It was a statement of mutual agreement.

Official documents, like resumes, peace treaties and proposals should look as though care has been taken in preparing them. I see them as a Rorschach depiction of your professional skills and knowledge. An observant client would have seen some bad butterflies in the very first page of our proposal, and would have served as fair warning, had they been concerned with the contents.

Forensic analysis would have determined that the text was derived from boilerplate text, well-boiled, and about as informative as a gangster‘s alibi. It was a stew of rambling comments cooked up with a seasoning of soaring, inane claims lifted from sales brochures.

Page 32: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

26

In the first few paragraphs, it was evident that Gregg had followed a style borrowed from the RanSom notE writEr‘s GuiDe to cApitaliZation. Hence a typical bullet pointed list read:

Sales Opportunities

Bin Control

Advanced forecasting and replenishment

Warehouse Management including pick to carton

Container management

Shipping system

EDI Transactions

The narrative text resembled the approximate English one finds on an ethnic restaurant‘s menu, e.g., ―Turtle soap,‖ ―Eat children free,‖ and the like. From the ―Project Objectives‖ section, it read:

―[the software]…offers true tangible Return on Investment.‖ I

don‘t think I‘ve ever actually held a true, tangible Return on

Investment in my hand. …and…

―Triple-S requires the system to be easy to use, flexible, and

provide a rich user experience.‖ Just what constitutes a ―rich user

experience?‖ Is it like a guaranteed ‗best shave,‘ or ‗great sex‘ or

some other immeasurable claim? …and…

―[the solution]…reduces post-purchase costs by providing a one-

call via toll-free support line.‖ You only get one call? …and…

―Our support desk runs working hours and specializes in Giant

Software Business First.‖ What ―working hours‖ would that be?

We‘re open when we‘re open, and when we‘re not, we‘re closed.

And what about support for the other two solutions in the

proposal?

Care had not been taken in writing this proposal, clearly. But the most troubling statement among the carnage strewn about on the proposal‘s pages was the following:

Page 33: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

27

―The Go-Live target date for this project is May 1 of the current

year, and every effort will be given to meet this date.‖

There are certain words and their implications you can never take back, like:

‗Honey, I really hate your mother.‘ or

‗I wish you‘d never been born.‘ or

‗Of course [lover‘s name here], I have never felt about anyone else

like I feel about you at this moment—baby.‘

to name a few landmark cases. The next sale is like a first kiss to every salesperson on the planet,

and he can‘t wait for it to happen. Gregg was understandably aroused too when making the Best Bargain sale, and promised to ―try‖ to meet a go-live date in his conversation and again in print. In the heat of the exchanges, it sounded just like the infamous, overheated ―I love you‖ said to surrendering lover. In the sales cycle, a promise to ―try‖ sounds just like ―You will go live on the date you‘ve stated, my dear, sweet prospect.‖ Your customer will say you promised it, and could pass a polygraph on that if asked.

All this I found on the first page. Each following page added to the disaster like another pound of plutonium.

Our proposal included our ―standard training,‖—one hour or a hundred, who knew? And we would use our ―standard methodology‖— which was explained in fewer words than the Gettysburg address, but with less detail.

It was a time and materials based estimate which also included a page displaying specific milestone payment amounts—a self-contradicting paradigm that a customer will interpret to his advantage as a fixed amount bid. No ups, no extras. And not a penny more.

No emphasis was given to change orders, leaving the door ajar for unlimited ―small‖ changes to be requested.3 Like in a new marriage, the rules need to be unequivocally established, like playing poker ever Friday night with the guys is okay. If that is your intention, you better get to the game soon after wedding day. Wait too long to announce the game, and you‘ll be charged with changing the rules of the relationship.

Vincent offered no advice more insistent than this: a reference to change orders must be in the proposal, because things always change. And to set expectations clearly, he had observed that you must present a

3 See Change Order in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 34: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

28

change order with the very first change the client requests—even if you intend to charge nothing for it. The client must learn to expect it.

I always held that the idea of the proposal, or any contract for that matter, should be to provide the clarity needed as a basis for cultivating cooperation. Obfuscation, I‘ve always held, is a blind built for a surprise attack.

Best Bargain would have been wiser had he been alert for the telltale admonition of an unclear proposal. An unclear proposal results in a fuzzy project mission statement, that dark harbinger heard wailing from the purgatory of lost minds. Ours was a proposal of headings stuffed with the detritus of past contracts holding little intellectual value. When I finished reading the document I knew I could not rely on the proposal to defend the scope of our obligation.

I closed the document just as the overhead speakers began squawking flight information. Though the announcer was speaking English, the accent was too thick for me to decode. I rarely understood most of what they said, but I could recite the caution to not leave your bags unattended in my sleep. I turned around to check the gateway. People had closed ranks, eager to squirm into their seats. I closed up my computer and joined the line.

Page 35: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

29

Chapter 7 Blueprinting

I pulled into the Best Bargain lot an hour before the meeting was to begin. I needed time to break the ice with Alex and Donald and to make sure the plan was set. And besides, nothing confirms a lack of commitment better than being late for the meeting.

The building was set amidst dozens of lookalike two story, dingy yellow brick structures in an industrial office park that had stood its test of time. A plain, backlit sign by the road identified the site as Best Bargain Companies in sterile block letters.

Donald Moore greeted me at the entrance and directed me to the conference room. Donald was the Operating Manager. His trim figure suggested a marathon runner‘s physique. He walked with a bounce in his step and gestured with jerky motions ignited by a restless undercurrent of energy. His ruddy complexion reflected every micro-movement of his emotions, and became flaming red when he was excited.

Alex spoke proudly when introducing Donald as a Harvard graduate, a dual major in business administration and computer science. Donald‘s mission was to bring Best Bargain into twenty-first century technologies as he had his previous company. In his first employment after Harvard, he had overseen an ERP implementation for a company much like Best Bargain in size and complexity. Though only 26 years old, Donald carried himself with the mature stature of an executive many years beyond his.

Alex was a trim fortyish man who looked me directly in the eye when he spoke. He wore pressed jeans, spotless white Nikes, a form fitting golf tee shirt over a flat stomach and v-shaped chest, and a pair of sportsman‘s eyeglasses rested on his chest, hung by a orange lanyard around his neck. He exuded vitality, and I judged that he would to be actively involved in the project.

Alex entered the conference room a few minutes before our set time, a good sign, since in my experience many CEO‘s are notorious for setting bad examples, arriving consistently late then wondering in later days why the company lacked professional discipline.

Page 36: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

30

I had prepared Donald and Alex for the blueprinting meetings by previously advising them how we would go about it.4 Both Donald and Alex were required for every session along with the relevant department head. There could be no interruptions to take care of business, emergency or not. I had experienced on other occasions how letting one of the meeting members out of the room led to a loss of concentration that is all but impossible to recover. It was up to Donald and Alex to arrange for others to take over their duties in their absence.

I needed a white board to map their processes in flowchart fashion when it got too complicated to simply list the sequential steps in my notes.5 Process mapping was not as straightforward as taking dictation. In the many pre-sales calls I‘d made, I found there was always some confusion among the company‘s representatives as they tried to recite just what it is they do and how they do it. There was going to be a lot of erasing, re-wording and re-sequencing involved, and I had to be prepared for it.

I planned to list the process steps on every third line in my notebook anticipating some re-writing and for inserting forgotten steps. Sometimes only a visual can make it clear, and the white board was good for that. Some consultants choose to affix large post-it notes to the whiteboard instead of writing on the board itself so the notes can easily be removed and repositioned in a sequence.

The goal was to map the ―as-is‖ state of the business using the simple analysis process of tracking inputs, decision points, and outputs for every transaction within and between every relevant department. There are those who endorse presenting a blueprint of the proposed solution, then marking up that blueprint where the customer‘s processes are at variance. I preferred to keep the focus on the as-is state. When I proposed the final solution later, the customer and I will be speaking the same language, so to speak, and they will have confidence that I truly understand their business as I relate my first hand knowledge of what they have been doing in comparison to the way they will be doing it after the implementation. Any way I could build their confidence was critically important.

Involved in all the analysis was who, where, when, how and why such inputs, choices and outputs were made. I planned to always confirm why each step was done, sometimes excusing myself for acting like a dunce in asking about the seemingly obvious, but my fresh eyes must assume nothing. The answers to the question why would be where

4 See The Blueprint in the Quick Reference section for more information.

5 See Business Processes in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 37: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

31

outdated processes could be exposed and possibly changed to fit the best practice designs built into our solutions.

And, of course, I had to be sure to find out what happened when it all goes wrong—and how the situation was corrected.

I had to resist the temptation to get into a discussion of how the new system would handle their transactions. As Vincent had said, ―You let the conversation get out of control, it becomes a pajama party where you all get dreamy-eyed and get to making wishes upon a star.‖ I took that to mean it was important not to get ahead of ourselves. So it was important to keep the discussion focused on the current flow, and simply flag where I saw opportunities to make improvements.

Where I noted the gaps where the system would not perform the transaction as currently done, I could later suggest where better practices might be put in place of the current process in the draft blueprint. A number of reviews of the draft blueprint document would be required before Triple-S and Best Bargain could agree upon a blueprint that could be signed and approved.

Alex, Donald and I arranged ourselves around the conference table and began.

―Let me first state for clarity‘s sake that the purpose of the blueprint is to provide a document for you and Triple-S that describes the functionality that will be provided to you in the solution you‘ve purchased. It‘s important that we agree upon this because this will be the standard by which we can determine when it‘s all done. ―Does this make sense to you?‖ I said.

I thought to myself that defining the problem for a software solution or any other type of project involved the same process. I was sure it was never easy to get everyone to agree precisely on the as-is state of a current circumstance as competing delegates to such a meeting defended how they did what they did or didn‘t do. Not to mention there are the elementary difficulties found in all communications like trying to agree on what has actually been said. Good project management includes a talent for good wordsmithing.

―Certainly,‖ Alex responded. Donald echoed his agreement ―What we‘ll do is take each department individually—sales,

purchasing, warehousing, shipping—and map all their transactions step by step. We‘ll divide each transaction into inputs, decision points, and outputs.

―For example, the input for a sales order may be a customer phone call. You‘ll tell me who makes that call—a buyer, an owner or maybe anyone at the customer‘s site; who receives the call; and what they do with the information—write it down, type it into a computer screen, whatever.

Page 38: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

32

―Then you‘ll tell me what is done with that information in the next step, and the next step, until the sales department is finished with the transaction.

―Finally, you‘ll tell me what the output is from that process—say, a pick ticket, or a printed sales order, or whatever it may be, and who gets this output and how. Does this seem sensible?‖

―This is what I expected,‖ said Alex. ―And you‘ve both viewed all the eLessons for the Giant software

so you have a good handle on the core system, from an overview perspective, right?‖

―Yes. Between the e-lessons and the navigation training we saw last week, we‘re decently oriented I‘d say,‖ Donald spoke for himself and Alex. Through the efficiency of remote web training, I had presented basic navigation training of the ERP to Alex, Donald, and all the department heads without ever leaving my office.

I was glad to hear that Donald had completed his assignment and had his staff view the e-lessons provided them. I knew that it would be very difficult to start this or any project properly if all stakeholders lacked a sufficient overview of the goal and the proposed solution.

―Fine, then for a little background. Will there be one application server and will it be located here?‖

―Yes, all three companies will operate on one server, that‘s our understanding,‖ Donald continued.

The last thing one wants to see is shock on the doctor‘s face. The patient takes it as a death sentence, if not worse. I held my composure, too, even though I had never heard there were three companies. It‘s not mentioned in the proposal. The scope as stated in the proposal was completely inaccurate.

―Where are the three companies located?‖ I asked. ―Two here. We share the warehouse with Best Bargain National.

The third is in California. We represent Best Bargain Inc.‖ ―How is the Best Bargain Incorporated business different from

Best Bargain National?‖ ―Incorporated sells to retailers and institutions. National sells to

manufacturers. It‘s done entirely differently. Same for Best Bargain Western, plus they run a third-party logistics operation.‖

―Okay. Are there any other business units I should know about?‖ ―Well, we use three 3PLs around the country to fulfill orders,

depending on various factors.‖ No mention of 3PLs in the proposal either. This, I thought, is why

the blueprint should be done first. How could a proposal estimate have been prepared with such an inadequate understanding of their business landscape?

Page 39: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

33

―Okay, what else?‖ Alex cocked his chin back and raised his eyebrows and looked as

if he was preparing to deliver the coup de grace. ―You know we have to go live by May 1, before our busy season.

You can do that, right? This is what Gregg has promised, I‘m sure he told you.‖

―Yes, well, I‘m just getting acquainted with the project, as you can see. I would be speaking out of turn…‖

Alex interrupted. ―It‘s a requirement, Richard. We talked to Gregg about this, before we signed. You have to be able do this.‖ Alex had stiffened as he spoke, and with his head held high his eyes rotated towards Donald casting a furtive glance as though demanding support, then quickly returned his focus onto me.

―Gregg is an experienced consultant. I have no reason to doubt his judgment,‖ I said and nodded in a confident manner towards Alex and Donald. Alex eyed me quietly. Donald‘s eyes fell, apparently finding interest in his notepad. The storm subsided, and they quietly allowed me to continue.

I knew then there was precious little chance we could meet that goal. The erosion of my integrity began thusly, with a dodge. How I might have responded candidly to them without humiliating Gregg, I did not know. But when in doubt, delay. Though I was sure my delay sounded very much like, Yes, you will go live May 1.

Page 40: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

34

Chapter 8 Judging from Appearances

We took a break from the blueprinting session, and I went to the company lunch room down the hall. I poured a cup of coffee using someone else‘s cup I took from the lunch room cabinet. It had some strange hieroglyphics on it resembling lewd acts of bestiality. I chose it assuming no one there would openly challenge me for it.

You can sense something meaningful about a company in every element you observe on the premises. Somebody had a strange sense of humor, clearly. But more importantly, Best Bargain was neatly arranged, like the break room where I sat. The floor and white counters and counter tops were spotless and uncluttered. They didn‘t provide disposable coffee cups, either evidence of rare visitors or pronounced frugality. The coffee was Folgers, in a giant can, Sam‘s Club style. The coffee creamer was a generic brand. There were real spoons, no wasteful plastic stirrers. I concluded they were tight with a dollar at Best Bargain.

A Best Bargain employee dropped in and prepared his own coffee, ignoring my presence. With his coffee ready, he turned and smiled broadly in my direction.

―Manny DiSalvo,‖ he said as he sat down across from me. He was short, middle-aged, dark haired, and had large biceps no one had without working at it. He raised the cup to his mouth which made his shirt sleeves strain to contain his flexing muscle. I had to wonder if they owned lift trucks or not.

―Richard,‖ I said and offered my hand to shake. ―You‘re the consultant, right?‖ ―Yep.‖ ―I‘m in the warehouse. Ten years. Manager.‖ ―Oh, well, we‘ll be talking soon, in the conference room.‖ ―Yeah, I know. I hope I can help. I don‘t really know computers.‖ ―No problem. You just tell me what you do. That‘s all there‘s to

it.‖ Manny had an honest look in his eye and a surprisingly soft

manner for a guy who bothered to bulk up like he did.

Page 41: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

35

―Well, what I do is make sure things work out there,‖ he nodded towards the warehouse. ―I‘d better,‖ he added and dropped his head to look at his cup.

―What do you mean?‖ I asked. ―Well, maybe I shouldn‘t say.‖ He lowered his voice, tilted his

head like he was keeping an eye out for intruders as he spoke. ― It‘s just maybe you should know. The money behind this company comes from the father, Charles. Have you met him?‖

―No.‖ ―Maybe you won‘t. He doesn‘t come around much, but when he

does, you‘ll know. Everyone pays attention when he‘s here.‖ Then he nodded knowingly.

―Sounds scary.‖ ―Let‘s put it this way. He, like, owns the casket business, you

know, caskets you bury people in. He owns the casket business up and down the coast around here.‖

―Interesting, but, uh, so what?‖ ―Well, let‘s just say he bought out all of the competition, so there

isn‘t any competition anymore. If you get what I mean.‖ He leaned forward, and showing a slight smirk on his face said, ―He‘s got it all.‖

―Sounds like the Outfit?‖ ―I didn‘t say that,‖ he paused and considered something in his

head. ―I shouldn‘t say any more. You get the idea.‖ He took another sip of his coffee, glanced over his shoulder, then stood to offer me his hand.

―Sure hope this works out okay,‖ he said with a nervous laugh, shook my hand and left.

I thought, yes, you can tell a lot about a company if you just look around. And listen.

Page 42: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

36

Chapter 9 The Great Escape

We managed to cover the business processes of the three business entities in four days. Each unit processed their business in a few unique ways, so a separate blueprint was needed for each of the companies. The department head from each function attended the discussion concerning their business process—the sales manager for sales, the warehouse manager for warehousing, etc. It was not unusual that from time to time Alex or Donald was surprised to hear some details of their operation. The revelations reinforced the need to complete the blueprint exercise in the interest of properly defining the goals of the project.

On the final day of my visit, I dedicated a full day to some high-level training on the accounting system in the second floor conference room. Accounting is not a new science, and I was not there to conduct classes in accounting principles, only to explain how Giant Software‘s accounting system was fundamentally designed.

I invited Best Bargain‘s CPA, who prepared all their financials, and the members of the in-house accounting department. The agenda was to show them the chart of accounts, how accounts could be added, the automatic internal reconciliations produced from sales and purchasing transactions, basic banking processes and the standard financial reports available. All other topics were to be reviewed in three dozen or so eLessons they had been provided. A week long, instructor-led classroom training would be conducted in the two weeks before go-live.

The CPA, Barry Busey, entered last ambling through the conference door and took a seat at the only available monitor sitting on the conference room table. He set a large, scarred leather brief case on the floor by his chair. It overflowed with papers and looked to prove you could stuff ten pounds in a five pound bag. This man was busy, intended to look busy, or never threw anything away. I explained the agenda and began showing the first eLesson. In a matter of a few minutes, Barry interrupted.

Page 43: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

37

―I don‘t think I need to spend time on these elementary subjects. I know how ERPs work. All I have to do is do a little exploring with the software, and I can figure it out.‖

I said: ―I can appreciate that, Barry. But as much as they are all the same, they‘re all different. It‘ll save a lot of confusion and time wasted later on if you get properly introduced to the solution now.‖

He grimaced and with a tired head swagger said, ―I‘ve been at this a long time… look, just go ahead,‖ he said, then using his shoulders shrugged off further conversation.

I started the lesson, stopping it periodically to add helpful commentary, putting things in a context or clarifying a fuzzy point. I responded to several questions. It was difficult, as always, to keep the group on track. I helped keep the session orderly by acknowledging the value of their questions. I also advised them that most of their questions would be answered if we followed the sequence of topics as outlined. To keep control and meet their need to know, I kept track of their questions for review later, writing them on a white board and labeling the list ―Parking Lot‖ so they could see I was serious.

Sacrificing the class agenda to a barrage of questions invites an incoherent stream of topics. The uncontrolled class will surge ahead wildly, flitting from topic to topic, out of sequence, losing the logical thread. The resulting lack of cogency undermines the essential building-blocks approach to learning. The consequence of an unordered questions-and-answers session is a jumble of disconnected topics that fails produce comprehensible, whole concepts. Like drawing toes then noses, elbows then ears on a blank page, the body won‘t take shape in a meaningful or memorable way. The students won‘t learn much, and go-live will go badly.

At the first break, Barry went for coffee and never came back. I would realize later on that I made a serious mistake by not insisting that he return.

After the session ended, I went downstairs to the first floor conference room to pack up my laptop and leave for the day. I was surprised to see Manny just coming out of the room as I was entering.

―Say, Manny. Back for more?‖ Manny had finished his session with me on Wednesday.

―No. No, thanks. I just heard something beeping in here. I hope you got all you needed from me?‖

―You did great, Manny. I‘m all set.‖ ―Well, if you ever need anything, you let me know, okay? Just let

me know, really.‖ He gave me a serious look.

Page 44: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

38

―Well, thanks, Manny. I will.‖ I could see Manny was a good-hearted man who knew I was up against a tough challenge. I appreciated him going out of his way to offer help.

My Outlook was still running, so I took a moment to email Gregg a short summary of the week. Things were progressing.

Page 45: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

39

Chapter 10 The Gentleman’s Bargain

It was five in the afternoon Friday when we adjourned in time for me to make a late flight home. I walked alone to my car in the parking lot around the corner of the building. The sky had clouded with a low grey cover that dropped a fine but heavy drizzle creating a fog dense enough to trigger the lot lights. Their futile beams were caught up in the mist producing unrevealing, opaque panels overhead. I held my brief case above my head to shield myself from the drizzle and half-trotted towards my car.

The man appeared from nowhere. ―Mr. Morrow,‖ he said. It was not a question. ―Yes.‖ ―Mr. Silverstruck would like a word with you.‖ He was a block of

flesh, a half-sized Sumo wrestler, at least. I hadn‘t seen him all week, but assumed he must be on the staff.

―Oh. Okay,‖ I said, and turned to go back inside to see Alex whom I had just left.

―No, Mr. Morrow, over here.‖ He gestured to a black car I could barely see through the low hanging limbs of the trees between the Best Bargain building and the neighboring lot in the industrial park complex.

―But I thought you said…‖ ―Please, Mr. Morrow, Mr. Silverstruck is waiting for you over

here.‖ I don‘t know why I should have believed that, but the polite,

assumptive manner of the man made it so. We carefully short-stepped down a water slickened berm to the lot. The drizzle turned to rain as he led the way to the car, which I could now see was not just any black car. It was a Rolls Royce, a vehicle that always screamed ostentation to me. Nobody in a car like that has an ounce of humility, but they do have chutzpah, if not a rap sheet.

Water beads pocked the shiny black finish like crystal domes. Even water looks expensive on a car like that. The sumo opened the rear door, ―Please, Mr. Morrow, if you will.‖ He was the most polite sumo I‘d ever met, I was sure. I dripped into the tan leather car seat and turned to

Page 46: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

40

face my host, or maybe my abductor. It felt slightly more like the latter at the moment.

―It‘s good to meet you, Richard. I‘m Charles Silverstruk. Alex is my son.‖ He spoke to me warmly in the heavy accent of a native New York cabby you would expect to hear coming from behind the wheel, not from the royal quarters here in the back.

Mr. Silverstruk was a small man, probably not more than five foot six. He was lean and old, late seventies I guessed, and had a deeply lined face that advertised a fresh from the islands tan. His eyes were as black and burnished as his car and were fixed on mine as he spoke. He wore a crisply pressed gray sharkskin suit with a pearl white shirt sporting a gold collar pin choking a sparkling blue silk tie, and his man, for I imagined a manservant was involved in his preparations, finished by adding a white silk kerchief that bloomed from his chest pocket. His hands were tipped with manicured fingernails resting on a shiny, teak wood cane with a gold tip at the bottom of it, and I presumed a matching gold handle hidden by those hands resting languidly at the top. For a moment, I suppressed an amused smile as he looked stereotypically like any other wealthy man would be obliged to look when being chauffeured in a shiny black Rolls Royce. Comically unoriginal, but seriously real.

―May I first of all apologize for our sudden introduction. You‘re wet. Sebastian, please offer Richard a dry towel.‖ I could not imagine there is a single authentic Sebastian in all of Japan, but I was accustomed to the new practice of adopting American names by countless Indian call center staff. It is utterly audacious to hear a support call clearly emanating from the heart of Bangalore answered by a consultant who comforts you by calling himself ―Tex‖ and though he may sport a ten-gallon turban, you knew he would never slaughter a cow nor a caterpillar.

―Richard—excuse me, I‘ve been presumptuous. May I call you, Richard?‖ Of course, I tell him.

―You‘re a father, aren‘t you Richard?‖ he paused with his gaze still fixed on my eyes. I could figure how he knew my name, but suddenly I felt he already knew the answer to this question.

―Yes. A daughter.‖ ―That‘s wonderful. I have two sons. Seymour and Alex. Alex is the

youngest. So, you being a father too, I am sure you‘ll understand what I‘m about to share with you.‖ I did not feel the rapport building as he must have. I didn‘t want my being a father to have anything to do with this.

―I am a successful man, Richard. There‘s no sense being modest about it, is there?‖

I thought, Said the naked stripper. I suppressed a smirk and let him continue.

Page 47: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

41

―I am also retired. Seymour runs the company that has provided my family our comforts. We manufacture and sell caskets. Eastern Caskets, Inc. Maybe you‘ve heard the name?‖ I nodded a confirmation, though I had never heard of them. What difference did it make?

He continued. ―It‘s a tough business, you might say, but through a lot of—hard work I grew the company. It dominates the business on the east coast, I‘m pleased to say. When I retired, it was Seymour who had the stomach for the challenge such an operation requires.

―Alex, my more sensitive son and a very bright, independent boy, wanted to go his own way. Make it on his own. He was that way from birth. Wouldn‘t let me help him learn to ride his bike. He just took off on it, falling over again and again, picking himself up, going at it again until he got it. He doesn‘t want my help, not anyone‘s. That‘s Alex, and I‘ve conscientiously respected that. I‘m sure you understand the kind of thing I‘m describing. That special relationship a father‘s has with each of his children. One has to respect who they are. Do you follow me so far?‖

―Yes, but what‘s this got to do with me?‖ ―I‘m getting there. Alex had a very bad experience two years ago

with a consulting firm who tried to update his computer system and failed. Couldn‘t steal from an open safe, but they could fuck up a computer and send a bill for it. It cost Alex a lot of money. But worse, it hurt his professional pride. I don‘t want to see my Alex hurt that way again.

―Unfortunately, Alex doesn‘t quite know how to handle these charlatans, not the way I have or how Seymour would. No one would get away with this sort of thing with Seymour. Nobody swindles Seymour. Alex, well, he just gets back up on the bike and tries again. Admirable. He is a good boy. But here, I‘m afraid I must help Alex.

―You see, this IT business is made for swindlers. I have many friends who have seen the crap created by these consultants. They‘re all confident and promises in the beginning, but when the problems hit, well, who knows who or what‘s at fault. They get clever. ‗It‘s not what you said.‘ ‗That‘s not what we said.‘ And on and on it goes.

―You see. I don‘t like that. It‘s not fair. When I sell a casket to the funeral home, they get what they ordered and at the price I quoted. Sold, done, everyone‘s happy. It‘s a clean business. But in your business, well, you never really know what you‘re buying. That‘s the game, isn‘t it, Richard? You make a sale, then fast talk your way through the rest. Blame the customer, blame the freaking gods, anyone for what doesn‘t work. But you keep sending that bill and another bill, and another until the budget is blown to hell,‖ He paused for a few moments, raised his chin and X-rayed my cranium with his stare.

―You‘re not saying anything, Richard. You look worried.‖

Page 48: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

42

―Mr. Silverstruk, I am very aware of the implementation nightmares we‘ve all heard something about. They are…real stories. But it can be done right.‖

All this time, Mr. Silverstruk‘s eyes have never left mine and never blinked. I glanced at Sebastian, his head is rigidly fixed, never turning, in a seemingly disinterested posture until I saw his eyes in the rear view mirror staring back at me with that street fighter‘s readiness.

―That brings me to my point, Richard, and it‘s good to hear you know how to do this right. Keep in mind, Richard, that I‘m a fair man.‖

My inner voice spoke again: he means yes, I might keep my manhood. Just initial here.

―I have found that in keeping the deal free of surprises and tragic misunderstandings that it‘s best to keep a single point of contact. And responsibility. You are responsible for delivering this project. Am I right, Richard?‖

I said: ―Yes, well, there are a lot of people involved, and…,‖ he cut me off mid-sentence.

―Stop there, Richard. That‘s not my concern, that‘s yours. Stated simply, Richard, I am expecting you to deliver this project successfully—no fucking excuses,‖ For the first time, he raised one hand from his cane, his bent index finger extended, and with a single, tiniest wag of that finger he punctuated the caution. To gesture more vigorously would have been to shout at me. Mr. Silverstruk‘s words, it was evident, need not be amplified superfluously.

He continued. ―There are conditions, very simple things. Simple and fair, Richard, that‘s how I have always worked. When Alex tells me the project is completed successfully, you‘re finished and we‘re all happy. Secondly, I don‘t want Alex to know that we‘ve ever spoken. He‘d be sensitive about that, you know. Nobody else knows either. Not your company, not your daughter, not anyone.‖

I recoiled at the mention of my daughter again. What’s he getting at?

He continued. ―This is between us. Like I said, I am a fair man, and for your discretion and for making sure this project is successfully completed, I am giving you a fair incentive.‖

He pulled an envelope from his inner pocket and held it out to me. I instinctively reached for it, and warily held it in front of me like one might handle a dead rat by the tail.

―That is your retainer, Richard. There‘s ten thousand dollars in there. You‘ll get the other half when you‘re finished. We‘ll be watching, Richard. You see, I have no stomach for a swindle. I‘m sure you understand.‖

Page 49: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

43

I believed I did. ―Wait. This is complicated, Mr. Silverstruk. I can‘t accept this.‖ I laid the envelope on the seat between us. ―My company would never allow this. And I don‘t want it. Good afternoon, sir.‖

I opened the door into a torrential downpour, fairly leaped out and walked in my bravest speed walk back to my car, my bladder suddenly bursting, my mind racing trying to digest what had just happened. No one should take a project that seriously. I was not for sale, and Charles Silverstruk could keep his money.

Page 50: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

44

Chapter 11 An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse

Traffic seemed to disappear ahead of me as I drove to the airport, such was my distraction. I thought, Behind all great wealth is a great crime, like I often heard. Manny had insinuated the same about Charles Silverstruk in his casket business. Mr. Charles Silverstruk was not about playing fair. It seemed there was only one rule to the game for him—he wins. But just how tough would he play this?

Appeasement was not the answer. Churchill was right, wasn‘t he? Intimidation had to be met with equivalent resolve. Walking away was the right thing to do. Draw the line quickly and firmly. The answer is no, Mr. Silverstruk. I was right to tell him so.

I drove obsessively, ruminating on the encounter. I arrived at the airport not fully aware of the route I took to get there. I pulled into the Budget rental car return, popped the trunk, got out of the car, and handed over the rental papers. The attendant politely informed me that I was driving an Enterprise rental.

I wanted out of there badly, but a mechanical problem kept my flight grounded. I kept watching the concourse for Sebastian, wondering if he might have followed me. It was a long two hours. Once in the air, I opened my laptop and began to transcribe the blueprint notes into the proper format in my word processor. Concentrating was a struggle as my thoughts kept wandering back to Mr. Silverstruk and the incentive he had thrust upon me—making himself a self-appointed stakeholder in this implementation. It was one of those external risk factors, one I had never imagined.

Silverstruk‘s bonus proposed a false promise with an edge on it. Failure to meet his goal under his terms might put me in one of Eastern Casket‘s finest. The strong only respond to strength, and I hoped my abrupt rejection put an end to the matter. And I didn‘t want his money. I closed my laptop and prepared for landing.

The stretch limo snaked its way through the herd of impatient taxis and other limos escaping O‘Hare‘s terminals. Soon, I would be home. I‘d take a hot shower to shed that traveler‘s grime, that contact transfer from a thousand communal touch points from every cab, gate

Page 51: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

45

seat, restaurant counter, handle, and that ultimate violation, from the canister of resuscitated air in the airplane cabin.

Once cleaned up, I‘d slip on my soft wool robe, feel the welcome-home hug of its sleeves, light the candles, lower myself into the secure, enveloping comfort of my cushioned recliner, with a cup of hot tea, no—maybe a glass of Merlot, relax, feel the muscles in my shoulders, my arms, my neck release the tension, melting it away, breathe softly and rhythmically, arrest all thought and just be. Safe at home.

The limo pulled into my condo‘s driveway after 10 p.m. The tires crunched on the frozen snow as the driver parked the stretch limo in a cockeyed angle to the garage door. I crawled on my hands and knees across the expanse of seats, just like any prince in his coach would do, and handed my credit card through the driver‘s pass-through window to bring closure to my journey.

I twisted the key then shoved my way through the front door of the condo, pulling the large suitcase along on its wheels, the second case with the computer perched on top of that. The cases almost toppled when the pneumatic door closer began to pinch the trailing part of the suitcase between the door and door jamb. The air inside was stale, having been sealed for six days behind locked doors and windows. I uprighted the cases and flipped on the small overhead entrance light. Its weak beams, no stronger than a flashlight, cast just enough light across the room to reveal the dimly colored profiles of my furniture.

These inert objects were my friends in this space of mine. If any chair, table or lamp of mine could have barked, I would have petted it.

All that feeling was suddenly ripped away when I bumped my desk table causing the monitor to recover from its sleep. The lowly moonlit screen outlined an envelope taped to the top, center of the monitor. It was an unaddressed, large envelope hanging from my monitor that I had not put there. But who did?

My heart sprinted ahead while my mind froze in place. I was both frightened and afraid of the sensations of fright itself, the one feeding on the other propelled the paralysis of shock, spreading it through my body. I stood motionless, my mind trying to reach for something to think, something I should do, something I should understand. My mind screamed at me, Think, Richard. Be rational. Protect yourself.

I stood perfectly still for a long time, somehow imitating what small prey do when in the presence of an overwhelming predator. Perhaps, I wouldn‘t be seen. But how ridiculous. I was trapped where I stood. I had to get away. He might still be here. I listened for some movement. For someone breathing. Suddenly there was a tiny beep. Maybe the computer, I didn‘t know what it was. My heart rate raced

Page 52: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

46

again. My breath came in short spasms. A harangue of thought swirled in my mind yielding not one intelligible thing.

I began to feel weakened, my knees were giving way to a force. I wanted to sit, but could not will myself to bend my legs to allow it. If I should sit, could I get up? Could I run?

I told myself to breathe, my mouth held ridiculously wide open to make the least sound with my breathing. I must not be heard. Moments passed. My mind squeezed out a thought, Fool, he had to hear you come in. Oh, yes. Of course. I began to think at last. Why would someone tape the envelope to my monitor and remain behind? That wasn’t the point. Whoever it was just wanted me to find it.

I sat down in a stiff, ratcheted descent. I collapsed into the office chair when my knees finally surrendered their last bit of strength. I tried to massage away the tension in my forehead and found it slick with sweat. I looked to the desk lamp and willed my hand to turn it on, but it was a several moments before my encouragement caused the arm to move. I turned the light on. Though rationally I thought the intruder was surely gone, I still paused to listen alertly.

Fear occupies the mind like a spreading dye in a pool, and once released it can‘t be contained at will. There was always the chance. A sick mind might be toying with me. From a room just steps away. I eyed the solid black shadow in the hallway that led to the remaining three rooms. The pounding of my heart resonated like a kettle drum in my chest. How could he not hear that?

I lifted the envelope and peeled it from the monitor. It was stuffed full and sealed. I exhaled as quietly as possible through my mouth, then used my scissors to ever so slowly open the envelope. With my eyes involuntarily fixed on the hallway, I fished out its contents.

It was cash. And a handwritten note. Dear Richard, I believe you mistakenly left this behind. There must have been

some misunderstanding. We have a deal. It was signed with the initials, CS. Christ, Sebastian had beat me home. I counted out stacks of ten

one hundred dollar bills each. Ten thousand dollars. It was a retainer I could not refuse. I had my answer now. This was how tough Mr. Charles

Silverstruk played it.

Page 53: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

47

Chapter 12 The Duel Begins

So, what now? The question ran through my thoughts like a perpetual crawl.

I woke up later than usual lying on a sweat-dampened bed sheet, my legs and arms wound about the top sheet twisted as tight as a hangman‘s rope. It must have been quite a night, though I blacked out once merciful sleep washed over me. I was spared a terrifying nightmare, but awake now I quickly fell into a throttling obsession with Silverstruk‘s threat.

Planting the envelope was a clever move. Silverstruk was trying to frighten me. And he had, hadn‘t he? But, I thought, bullies intimidate, only murderers kill—and they don‘t warn you. Or do they? How serious could he be? Would he kill someone over a botched implementation? Exactly how had he gone about dominating the casket business?

I made a cup of coffee, opened the patio door‘s drapes and let in a bright sunshine from a very cold and clear day. I decided to play some soothing music to help settle my soul. I chose A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Twang by a Chicago artist with a special touch for jazz and melody. I had to learn more about Charles Silverstruk and his company, Eastern Caskets. I typed in ―Eastern Caskets‖ into Google and started a search. I found their website in the list and followed the link. It was a standard eCommerce site. Pictures of caskets and their descriptions. No picture of the man himself. I went back to the search list.

On the fifth results page, I clicked a link to a news article from the New York American Bugle, a small town paper I‘d never heard of. The article was titled, ―Casket Case Closed.‖ It was a short article about a civil case brought against Eastern Caskets that had been dropped.

Permanent Dreams, a distributor of burial caskets in upstate New York, had been bought out by Eastern Caskets a few years ago. Maury Loeb owned Permanent Dreams at the time, and agreed to the buyout. Loeb, however, brought a civil suit years later claiming he‘d been coerced into selling. Threats had been made against him and his family. Unfortunately, Loeb died in an auto accident before the case went to trial.

Page 54: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

48

The story went on to say that Eastern Caskets, headed by CEO Charles Silverstruk, had been pursuing rapid expansion of its business through a series of acquisitions. It had become the largest casket distributor in the northeastern U.S. An Eastern Caskets spokesman declined to comment on the case.

It was not much to go on, but it didn‘t sound good. Did Loeb conveniently die, or what? And what kind of coercion was it?

I swiveled away from the screen to consider my situation. I found that I subconsciously grabbed the post-it pad and had begun tossing wadded notes into the waste basket. What now?, I thought again.

I was angry. At what? At whom? Surely at Mr. Charles Silverstruk, of course. I was angry at Gregg, too. And my company. I was paying for our indifference to professional methods. Gregg was the most immediate object of my resentment. A sloppy proposal, with an implied promise, an unreachable go-live deadline. He hadn‘t even included all the rudiments of a professional proposal. Where was the description of the company organization and landscape? There wasn‘t just one company, there were three! All doing business in different ways. And 3PL operations to boot. I wondered how often scope creep was actually a manifestation of anincomplete project definition like this.

I would never have agreed to support this proposal as written had I reviewed it before it was signed. That ought to be our process. How could the sales executive just hand off preposterous promises to the unsuspecting project manager like that? And omit critical components that would affect the project timeline. The sales executive could not expect a vague proposal to provide the defense of his company‘s actions when the customer challenges the project‘s status. How could we possibly rely on one another‘s memory to settle disagreements? He said, she said. I said, you said. I could hear it now: Where does it say that?! Just where does it saaay that? What else could all this lead to but a childish push and shove fight, a contest of might between customer and consultant—or between lawyers? That‘s the best I thought we could expect from it, but the worst was we wouldn‘t get paid. Not to mention my neck was on the line.

Truth be told, once Best Bargain handed over a huge deposit on the project, they were left with limited options if things went wrong. What were they to do? They might sue, but that was a gamble. They might not win. Throwing good money after bad would surely scare them. If they should win, would they ever really collect? Maybe. Maybe not. Their best option: withhold future payments.

But without future payments, we would be bled dry. Without cash flow, we couldn‘t make payroll. We would have to consider withholding services, ensuring the project‘s eventual collapse, of course.

Page 55: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

49

The argument would become a cathartic combat between their righteous resentments and our rights of survival. Ultimately, it would be condemned to a synthesis resolved only in mutual defeat.

So what now? I asked myself. Mr. Silverstruk‘s terms were pretty clear, accept his offer, get this

done right or start checking my brake lines daily. This kind of menacing business made me think it was time to check in with an old friend.

Page 56: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

50

Chapter 13 Lucky Stones

Lucky Stones was a ridiculous name for a five foot five inch private investigator with only one good eye to look at while the other one stared off at Pluto. And with those eyes the way they were, he was hard to talk to for you could never be sure if you had his attention.

He should have been a jockey with his slight physique. He weighed no more than 125 pounds. It should have been his destiny to ride, and may have been his parent‘s intent, naming him like a horse that way. At least, that‘s what I thought. This was something I knew better than to say to Lucky, my childhood friend, and never did.

Lucky proved early in life that he was not to be trifled with. His one good eye was an amazingly good one, and he could center a small rock on a boy‘s, a dog‘s or a possum‘s eye with a handcrafted slingshot he carried around with him for safety purposes. Besides being small, he was not fast, and bigger boys were constantly tempted to exercise their pugilistic fantasies on little Lucky. He was easy to catch.

Lucky formulated a plan after a few beatings and made a slingshot out of hard hickory wood and a spare inner tube. Then he practiced.

The first to go down was Hunter Kimbrough, a boy already six-foot two in sixth grade, and fell like a marble slab when Lucky caught him in the forehead with a piece of chipped granite—a comfortable fifteen yards between them. After that Lucky became popular. He and I formed a spontaneous partnership where I would gather boys around to challenge Lucky to pick off the local wildlife or stray dogs with his slingshot for a wager. Lucky rarely missed, and I made good commissions from our endeavor. We had a lot of fun. And nobody messed with Lucky Stones anymore.

Lucky tried to join the army after high school, but they wouldn‘t let him in because of his bad eye. Lucky thought he had the promise of being very useful as a sniper. Learning to shoot was going to be a snap, but he thought no one in the service could ever rival him in close combat where rifle fire would give your position away. ―Get your own self shot out of a tree that way,‖ he told us. Whereas, the soft whoosh of his

Page 57: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

51

slingshot would likely go unnoticed. He thought he might provoke folklore, a product of baffled soldiers watching fellow soldiers falling prey to an unseen, silent jungle spirit. They might give him a name, like Whoosh-dog, or some other exotic name that sounded menacing and mystical.

Turns out Lucky‘s destiny was to be lucky—we all overlooked that possibility. He refused to be rejected by the army and found some way to insinuate himself into a division leaving Los Angeles, heading to Vietnam, and boarded one of the planes fully equipped like any other soldier. Once in Vietnam he managed to be assigned sniper duty and killed enemy soldiers like a farmer harvesting wheat, they were cut down by the dozens—some of them without shots fired. He was doing great until he was found out in an awards ceremony where the colonel questioned how his lazy eye could meet army standards. They sent him home. No charges were filed. Moreover, they bent the rules and managed to give him an honorable discharge with complete GI benefits. Gave him back pay and a medal too. Lucky got lucky.

Now I needed Lucky to let some of that luck rub off on me. I needed him to help me keep safe from Charles Silverstruk. And as I understood it from a ten-year high school reunion we had a long time ago—that this was in the scope of what Lucky was doing in those days. I hoped he was still in business. I dug out his card and gave him a call.

He told me that we could meet at his office on South Welles Street. I was taken aback to see his office was in a shabby old building with a round gray turret on corner of it. It was not a very nice location—had the kind of address you heard on the local news murder stories. At street level there was a dingy discount tobacco store and a Laundromat with an aged store front no cleaner than a shop rag. Both storefronts had retractable steel gates that the owners apparently drew closed for overnight protection. Offices and cheap apartments filled the remaining three floors of the building. A bird splattered Deluxe Offices For Rent sign was affixed to the siding near the top floor and probably had hung there since the place opened its doors. Lucky‘s office was on the third floor with access by the stairs only.

By the time I reached his floor I was stifling a desperate call for air from my lungs. The moment exposed the effects of my personal neglect and the general effects of aging. I didn‘t want to acknowledge my diminished state by actually gasping for air. Denial takes many forms.

I began walking down a brittle linoleum-floored hall that every few steps snapped underfoot. This building in its best days had never been high rent, I thought, but now I guessed that the decomposing structure could not have been sold for its land value. At the opposite end of the hall I saw a brightly lit office entrance. As I walked toward the light,

Page 58: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

52

I sensed that the series of closed doors was a mausoleum of dying or dead enterprises. No light shined through their dimpled glass panes. There were no muffled voices. No ringing phones. The smell of decaying dust lingered in air not fit for a cadaver. The only sign of life came from a flood of sunlight thrusting through the opaque glass panel of that last door facing me at the very end of the hall. As I neared it, I could see the dark stenciled letters on the door read in a fancy Old English font, ―Lucky Stones.‖ In smaller print beneath his name, ―Confidential Services.‖ That seemed a bit all encompassing to me.

I began to think maybe Lucky hadn‘t been so lucky lately. Perhaps taking any kind of work at all, from murder to plumbing, and not telling a soul.

I opened the door and saw behind a desk a small man‘s shadowy profile against the circular arrangement of windows in his rounded office. A mammoth morning sun shot straight over his shoulder and bled the color out of everything. It was all black on a white glare.

―Lucky?‖ I asked, squinting into the light. ―If I‘m not, one of us is in the wrong office.‖ I recognized the high-pitched, nasal voice. ―It‘s me Richard—

don‘t shoot.‖ I was only joking, but it turned out not to be an altogether useless

suggestion. I sat down in a wooden chair in front of his desk. Once my eyes adjusted, I saw that Lucky had a revolver resting on his desktop alongside of the stapler and other customary office paraphernalia.

I nodded at the gun. ―You won‘t be needing that.‖ ―Not at this very moment,‖ he noted in a doubtful tone. He left

the gun where it lay and grinned at me. Lucky‘s toothy grin was not unlike a horse‘s gum-exposed

whinny. His teeth were too large and gave him a silly, harmless look. I supposed it was this disarming appearance that allowed Lucky to penetrate any defensive quarters. Lucky was born incognito.

―Do you still have that slingshot, Lucky?‖ I asked, making some small talk to reacquaint ourselves after fifteen years or so of no contact.

Lucky rose from the desk chair. ―Look here.‖ He turned to the credenza behind him and lifted its wooden top. It was hinged and beneath it was a velvet lined display of a half dozen slingshots of all makes. ―This is the original,‖ he said, lifting the hickory slingshot gently, with a reverence like one might lift the Hope diamond from its case. ―We had some good fun with this one, eh, Richard?‖

―Yes we did. What times those were.‖ ―These others I designed for better performance or for specific

conditions. This one shoots a three-eighths inch steel ball two hundred yards at three hundred feet a second. It‘s titanium with a spring loaded

Page 59: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

53

assist I engineered to put more tension on the band. Custom built. I‘ve got custom ammo too. Kinds that just bruise you, paintballs, stun balls with an electric charge in them. Some explode on impact. I killed a bear with this one.‖ Lucky stroked the shiny pistol grip with his fingers the way one pets a kitten. ―This one is resin and disassembles so I can get it through airport security.‖

―So you use these things professionally?‖ I asked. ―I call it having fun.‖ He chuckled, closed the credenza and sat

down. ―So what brings you here, Richard?‖ I went back to my chair and sat down too. ―Well, I don‘t know if

you can do anything for me, Lucky, but I think I could use your help.‖ I explained how Charles Silverstruk had been threatening me and what my brief research on the man had revealed.

―Don‘t you just hate bullies?‖ he said. He rested the side of his head against his fist, focusing his good eye on his gun. I thought I saw a wishful look in his eye.

―I‘m not sure how far the man will go.‖ ―Let me do some checking. We‘ll figure out what he‘s made of.‖ I sat forward and placed my open hands against the desktop. I

didn‘t want to start a war and I had the uncomfortable feeling that Lucky was eager for action. ―Okay, but let me be clear about this. I‘m not asking that anyone be killed.‖

―We don‘t actually use the ‗K‘ word around here.‖ ―We?‖ ―Me and my clients. We take ‗necessary measures.‘ ‖ Lucky

paused, cocked his head sideways a bit, and pursed his lips—suppressing a smile it seemed. ―It‘s a—broader concept. Gives us the latitude to do what needs to be done without quibbling.‖

―No, I really mean…‖ ―Don‘t worry, Richard. Assassination is not a first option. I‘ll keep

you informed, okay?‖ ―Good, no K‘s—or A‘s then,‖ I said. I got up to leave and turned

towards the door. When my hand reached the door knob, Lucky spoke again.

―And by the way, if you‘re wondering why I should have chosen to have an office in this condemnable building, it‘s because I own the building. Tax write-off. I own most of the block.‖

As I left I thought Lucky was still lucky as ever.

Page 60: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

54

Chapter 14 Quantum Physics and IT

I sat in my office chair listening to public radio while wadding and pitching pink post-it notes into the waste basket a few feet away. You could say I had a post-it note fetish, but it did relieve stress. Stress led people to repeat the very same futile attempts they‘ve tried over and over with the same failed results, and I needed to think creatively, or maybe even delusionally. I asked myself how this project could possibly go live by May 1.

My thoughts became distracted by the radio broadcast I had playing in the background. It was public radio‘s version of a reality show, only it‘s actually real. I heard the announcer say the topic today was Thinking Ahead. They always provided these creatively cryptic titles to make you wonder what it was all about. It sounded like something I should be listening to.

Part one involved two young men from Chicago‘s south side who wanted a way to get rich quick. Been there, I thought. Of course, stealing came to mind right away, the narrator informed me. Maybe this wasn‘t exactly what I needed to hear after all, but I kept listening, giving it some time to see where it went.

They decided to steal something big, like one of those huge white yachts they saw moored all about Chicago‘s lakeshore downtown. Steal big, make it big was the idea. Something like that. Needless to say, they got caught. A young-sounding female reporter interviewed the suspects.

―Why did you choose to steal a yacht?‖ the interviewer asked one of the two wannabe thieves.

―Cuz Bobby goes, ‗I can drive a yacht.‘ Said he worked for a man who owned one, and Bobby, he goes riding with him sometimes.‖ This was the sidekick speaking, the one who Bobby brought along to help out.

―What was your job, Albert? What did Bobby say you were supposed to do?‖

―I don‘t know. Lay the man out if he‘s trouble. That‘s what I did.‖ And that he had. Albert had cut the captain‘s throat and stabbed to death the one shipmate on board. He‘d stabbed the shipmate in his bed below

Page 61: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

55

while he slept. How much trouble could a sleeping man be? I thought. The interviewer turned her attention to Bobby.

―Bobby, the police say they arrested you anchored out in the marina just where you boarded the boat? How did that happen? Why didn‘t you make a break for it?‖

―Well, first we had the lady there.‖ ―You mean you had to rape her first. Is that what you mean?‖ ―Yeah, well. We didn‘t know she was gonna be on the boat.‖ ―Why did you rape her the way you did?‖ ―I didn‘t. Albert did.‖ ―Albert? Why did you do that?‖ ―I don‘t know. I just did. I mean, she was there and so…‖ Albert

ran out of explanation and quit mid-sentence. ―But sometimes the things don‘t—they ain‘t as bad as they look,‖

Bobby said. Bobby was clearly the brains of the operation. ―How‘s that, Bobby ?‖ ―Well, Albert didn‘t mean to cut anybody. It just happened.‖ How much was their world like mine? I thought. The denial of

the undeniable. No idea extended beyond the immediate now and the immediate next. And the impossible dream. I began to think how the desperate and the greedy both act in about the same way.

The short-sightedness of a psychopath is easy to spot, with their naked violence, but a business person who goes to market without a plan seemed to me by degree of expectations was just as negligent. There was just no blood—only lost dreams, bankruptcy, depression and such. Bobby and Albert too just wanted great wealth in the quickest way they cared to imagine without concern for those they used.

―So Bobby, why didn‘t you drive the yacht away, make a run for it?‖

―I couldn‘t start the boat.‖ That got Albert agitated. ―Yeah, that fool says, you know, he can drive the boat. He said it

was gonna be easy cuz he had saw it before. And he says he can start the boat.‖

―Why couldn‘t you start the boat, Bobby ?‖ ―I don‘t know. I seen the man do it before. It looked easy. Just

turn the key and give it the gas.‖ Like I could just watch Tiger Woods golf then birdie the back nine, I thought.

The narrator tells us that the boat was a diesel and that Albert and Bobby didn‘t know anything about starting a diesel engine—like having to warm it up first. By now, they had killed the only two people who could actually start the boat.

This made me think how Triple-S hires people who ―can‘t start the boat,‖ too. They call them ―freshies,‖ recent college graduates who‘ve

Page 62: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

56

never programmed anything outside of a class project. They can‘t really chop code, but they‘re cheap.

―Where did you intend to sell the yacht, Bobby ? Just supposing you got away.‖

―Gary.‖ ―Gary, Indiana?‖ ―Yeah.‖ ―Who do you know there who would buy a stolen yacht?‖ ―Anybody. If the price is right. Wouldn‘t you?‖ Anything, even a

yacht priced cheap will sell fast, he thought, even in a town with one of the country‘s highest unemployment rates and lowest per capita income. There were no other considerations, just the cash they were sure to get. Who couldn‘t use a yacht?

Now that was a bad business plan, I thought. I grabbed a handful of peanuts and began to munch on them. This story was as good as any movie I‘d seen.

Unfortunately for Bobby and Albert, when they tried to force the young wife to start the engine, she said she didn‘t know how. Then she surprised them when she jumped overboard and swam a mile to shore. And got the Coast Guard on them.

Bobby and Albert were stranded and got arrested on board right where they sat. As the Coast Guard came near the yacht, they observed the two waving cheerfully towards them as though their visit was welcome. The party was open to all. When the police boarded the yacht, they found the two drinking beers taken from the onboard refrigerator and playing music on the sound system. At least that worked when you turned the key on. Bobby was wearing the dead captain‘s hat. Albert was wearing the captain‘s blazer with a fancy gold embroidered symbol on the pocket. That was the life, two costumed kings playing their roles.

The interviewer asked one last question. ―Tell me, Bobby. Just what were you thinking?‖ ―Truth be told, we wasn‘t. It just looked easy. I been on that boat

before.‖ Their story had those same themes so many ill-fated crooks

shared, the kind I heard about on the dozens of crime story channels. From Madoff to Loman, they held that same lust for the short cut with no consideration of the consequences. Thought it was easy. Thought they knew how. And were sure they would never get caught. Just hand over the cash, please.

And everyone involved got hurt. It didn‘t sound too much unlike the project I was on now. It

seemed Triple-S was a little too eager to get the cash too. And thought it was much easier to do than it really was. Bobby and Albert were going to

Page 63: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

57

jail over their misadventure, but in my deal I might get demoted from boat captain to boat anchor.

I shut down my browser and returned to the business at hand. I told myself I surely wanted to do a better job on Best Bargain‘s project than Bobby and Albert did with their plan. I needed to revise the plan as soon as possible to reflect the best reality of a timeline that I could. The trouble was I had a blueprint to finish while it was still fresh in my mind.

Getting off to a stumbling start had precipitated a logjam of activity. It was a dilemma. I chose to pick off one bird at a time and proceeded to work on the blueprint first.

Page 64: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

58

Chapter 15 Finishing the Blueprint

I had six days to compose the blueprint, including Saturday. Somehow I had to pack two weeks of work into one. Producing a good blueprint was going to be the first thing we‘d done right in the whole deal. I had double the motivation to get it right now.

After a few more conference call reviews of blueprint drafts with Alex and Donald, I would have something finalized. I planned to include all the necessary elements to sufficiently describe all their commercial transactions and the custom reports they had requested. A flowchart would describe each transaction in digestible, logical ―chunks,‖ being careful not to try to explain too many procedures with any one flowchart and overwhelm them. All the inputs, decision points, and resulting outputs would be illustrated, step by step.

I also planned that each flowchart would be supported by a table of explanations cross-referenced to each numbered step represented in the chart. Explanations were needed to flesh out the sometimes cryptic labels within each flowchart element, and to eliminate those dreaded misunderstandings. I felt it was imperative that Alex and Donald clearly understand exactly what problems we were solving and how.

My experience was that confusion is the agar for conflict. And that, I knew, inevitably would hold up payments, the lifeblood of our company. I had to get this blueprint confirmed with Alex and Donald.

I began typing, ‗The purpose of this document is…‘ Alex, Donald and I had joined in three lengthy conference calls

examining and revising the business process blueprint document. I used a web meeting service for the day‘s meeting, displaying the document for all of us to see from our respective offices. I read each sentence aloud as we examined every word.

It was tedious. I learned great respect for the small word. Like ―and‘s‖ and ―or‘s‖ are not interchangeable and either of them could torpedo the project if used wrong.

I learned I could say too much about a topic, or I could say too little, but I could never get away with saying nothing substantial about an

Page 65: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

59

essential topic in a document that you wanted someone to sign. Vagueness and omissions left the subject open to anyone‘s and everyone‘s imagination to fill in the needed information. The document had to be complete. And it had to be concise, or the content could be submerged with the weight of too many words.

Ultimately, it‘s always about clarity. As I anticipated, much was clarified as Alex and Donald‘s

individual recollections of their processes were reconciled with each other‘s. In some instances, they decided that a process should be updated to meet current requirements or take advantage of the possibilities presented with the new ERP.

Alex complained that we were wasting time, delaying the project with these recurring discussions. I felt the pressure too. There were some tasks I could conceivably move along simultaneously, but I was concerned that I might move too quickly. I called Vincent for some insight.

―Ah, yes, deadlines. They‘re getting nervous, eh?‖ Vincent said. ―Yes, and I want to be deliberate. I‘m concerned that I might have

to backtrack if unexpected things come out in the blueprint discussions.‖ ―You learn any task in life by going slow first. You‘re learning, so

go slow.‖ ―They wouldn‘t like to hear that.‖ ―Don‘t make excuses to them, Richard. Slow and certain is better

in any case.‖ ―I‘m afraid I‘m going to miss the go-live date by a mile.‖ ―Probably. In the end, getting it right is always preferable. And

there is no such thing as getting it wrong on time.‖ ―So, get the blueprint done first.‖ ―Yes, everything flows from that.‖ It took a few weeks to complete a final version they were willing

to sign. Reasonable men might disagree, but it seemed to me that a solid methodology required a finished blueprint before other activities began, regardless of my learning curve. After so much fumbling and thirty-one incomplete projects on our company resume, opting for sure-footed progress looked to me like a prudent way to proceed, and I was pleased Vincent supported that.

I came to realize that requiring that the blueprint be completed first accomplished two important goals. The blueprint clearly defined the path forward and indicated changes that should be made to the project plan. Secondly, by being insistent on its completion, its importance was made clear. The important message was that it must be done, and done right.

Page 66: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

60

Alex finally agreed to sign the blueprint document after considerable nitpicking with the words. Their concerns only highlighted how important they too thought the document was. It had been a strenuous process that would not be forgotten. They had to realize that we had collaborated with great care in getting it right.

The next step was to begin collecting the configuration information—those data that fed the ERP the information it needs to operate—customer contact information, item masters, bank account numbers and much more. I called Paul.

―Paul, the blueprint is signed off, and I‘ve sent you a copy.‖ ―Got it.‖ ―I‘d like to see you get started collecting the configuration

information for the ERP and for the WMS solutions. I‘ve put the new due dates in the project plan you‘ll see.‖

―Sure, fine.‖ ―I suppose you‘ll use Giant Software‘s configuration form to

collect the information from Best Bargain.‖ ―I usually hold a web session and we go through the screens

together.‖ Hearing this gave me pause. Alex and Donald needed the data

collection forms and have them explained before they could collect the necessary data. To expect the customer to be fully prepared for such an ad hoc format seemed entirely unreasonable, and was probably why so many gaps in the project remained long after all tasks should have been completed. Any good meeting required the participants to prepare for it. The session would surely leave a log of follow-ups that tended to float around in the ether of undone things. They never seem to get completed.

―I‘d like to you use the form this time. I‘m trying to get our accomplishments documented so you‘re not troubled with all those loose ends later on. And we need to use the form for Best Bargain to sign off when it‘s complete.‖

―I don‘t think they‘ll sign it. Customers don‘t like signing things.‖ I wondered when was the last time Paul had asked any client for a signature on anything.

―Look, do your best. I think they‘ll sign.‖ I didn‘t want to risk pushing Paul too far. Real or imagined, I thought there had to be some sensitivities to my being the project manager on this one, and I needed his help. I didn‘t have unlimited resources. I‘d have to depend on Paul to do all he could do.

Page 67: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

61

Chapter 16 Give Me a Project Plan

I had been emailing Alex, Donald and my team updated project plans once a week—appending the project filename with a current date. This awkward system led to constant confusion as one can always doubt whether he possessed the latest version. Anyone could easily be looking at an outdated plan that was more than a day or two old. The conversation amidst this confusion, trying to figure which was the latest plan, resembled a verbal pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game where even the ones without the blindfold couldn‘t find the donkey to go after.

Progress was coming at a frustratingly slow pace. Tasks were hung up for countless reasons. My resources were proving unreliable as one consultant got commandeered for another home office priority, then another seemed to be flailing at trying to make contact with the 3PL representatives who acted like they were dodging the calls. Gregg made only incremental progress with many days interleaving small spurts of effort in defining a file interchange protocol he was working out with a Best Bargain consultant. The start on several custom developments seemed perpetually scheduled to start ―tomorrow,‖ so said my software development team. And when they did work on them, even the simplest of requirements turned into a complex debate that we returned to time and again. My project was almost at a standstill, and I was being consumed in a blizzard of follow up calls and emails trying to sort it out. Truth be told, I wasn‘t sure exactly how much we‘d accomplished.

Alex and Donald called to question the project plan. Alex spoke first.

―We‘re in the dark here and we don‘t know what to expect when. It‘s like feeling your way along in a dark cave.‖

―We‘ve been in regular contact, don‘t you think? Paul speaks to you pretty often, I know.‖

―That‘s not the point, Richard. I don‘t know where we are in the progression of events. We‘re just putting one foot in front of the other, but we don‘t know if we‘re on the right path.‖

―I have sent you an updated project plan. I‘ll be adding more.‖

Page 68: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

62

―Come on. It‘s maybe ninety lines long. All high level, no details. You can‘t be serious.‖

―Well, there are two schools of thought. The minimal plan lists milestones without the minutia behind each achievement. Some customers are okay with that. Other‘s want the details. Giant Software provides a model of the minimalist project plan which is what I‘ve provided you.‖

―I don‘t see how you can manage this project with so little to go by. When Gregg sold us the system he showed us a project plan that had over two hundred lines with lots of detail. That‘s a project plan, so why don‘t we have a plan like that?‖

I was checkmated. Gregg had not told me this. Alex and Donald had seen a sample plan and had other expectations.

―Look, Alex, I see your point, and I‘ll provide a more detailed plan as soon as possible. It‘s going to take a few days.‖

As things were unfolding, I could see that Alex was right. My defense was just that, ―defensiveness.‖ I was embarrassed by the plan I had given him, but couldn‘t face disgracing myself or the company any more. We had botched so much already.

How much detail to provide is a judgment call to some degree. Vincent‘s advice was to supply all the detail I could practically manage. ―You can provide so much detail, you can get in your own way,‖ he had said. It was clear to me now, that I had not nearly enough detail in the plan. I needed to track the steps much closer, and my team needed to see how they were being tracked, too.

After the call, I stopped all other activity, and got busy on it. I had to take the time it took to do the right thing as it should have been done initially.

Page 69: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

63

Chapter 17 Risk

I got busy fleshing out the project plan the next day. Each task in the grid listed as sub-tasks the supporting steps in the sequence that needed to be completed. It grew to over two hundred lines. Along with the plan I prepared a list of the risk factors to send to Alex and Donald. Gregg had not presented the risk factors with the proposal when it‘s best to present them. This project was full of them.

Was it too late now to present risks to Alex and Donald? An unpleasant scene was the best I could anticipate if I tried it. I wondered what Vincent would say. I made the call.

―Yes, it‘s late, Richard. But you‘ve got to go ahead and show them where the pitfalls are.‖

―They‘re going to scream.‖ ―It‘s like you‘ve got a runaway team of horses. You‘ve got no

choice but to slow them down. It will only get worse when one of those things go wrong. They‘ll be yelling at you for not anticipating whatever.‖

―This is like handing them a horse whip. They‘ll use it on me.‖ ―It could be worse if you don‘t. But they deserve to know,

Richard.‖ It may never be too late to do the right thing, but that didn‘t mean

I had to like doing it. It was midday, but I felt myself melting down. I poured myself a

glass of wine and flopped down in my recliner. I didn‘t want the wine, but it gave me something else to do but sit at my desk. Risks. Tell me about risks, I muttered to myself. I‘d lived for weeks now in various stages of anxiety—many days shoving away my plate with half a meal still on it, sitting agitated in a dim room unable to choose between the bed or a hard walk. I wanted to quit this job, but Silverstruk wouldn‘t let me.

I had to survive this, for no other reason than to be there for Sara. Now there’s a risk for you. Parenthood. The risk that never ends. I thought she‘d always need me, even in our tenuous relationship. How could I abandon her again? I pulled myself out of my downward spiral, finished the wine, and marched myself back to the desk to contemplate the project‘s risks.

Page 70: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

64

I identified several risks: the unforeseen difficulties in software development, the unpredictability in aligning resources from three different companies each with their own priorities, the ubiquitous threat of debilitating illnesses or personal matters among staff, potential change orders requiring more effort, equipment failures, unforeseen integration issues between the various solutions, and Best Bargain‘s own resource limitations in the face of business demands. I suggested that they consider being prepared for a later go-live date than they hoped for if these risk factors came into play.

I combined the updated project plan with a separate document titled, Risk Factors, and clicked the Send button. In the email message, I explained in general terms what I had done to the project plan and why a risk document was also included. We had to do our best to be prepared to respond to any risk that came to pass, but warned that not everything could be handled without causing delay.

Alex responded in an email within the hour, with a copy sent to Donald and Gregg. It read:

Best Bargain made it clear that the May 1 go-live date was an

imperative. Our busy season begins then, and there is no

possibility our staff can participate in a go-live effort after that date.

If there was a problem with the go-live date, then IT SHOULD

HAVE BEEN RAISED BEFORE WE SIGNED THE CONTRACT. It

is up to you to coordinate the participants in the plan and to assign

proper resources. And it is UP TO YOU TO HAVE TESTED THE

SOLUTIONS BEFORE SELLING THEM TO US. Best Bargain

WILL NOT ACCEPT A COMPROMISE IN THE GO-LIVE DATE.

I could picture Alex‘s reddened face—his fingers pounding the keyboard expecting the characters on the screen to carry the full fury he felt. His tirade was understandable. Risk factors need to be raised and presented along with the proposal process where the customer can be apprised fairly of the realities before signing. Another methodology problem. Now Alex felt he was being blindsided with pre-planned excuses by a conniving project manager.

Better late than never, but not much. I called Alex. Matters of contention are best handled in person or in a phone call. Emails are a feeble method of hiding from the confrontation. Alex answered the phone. Donald sat at his side.

―Alex, I got your email.‖ ―We don‘t appreciate you trying to welsh on the deal. You‘ve got a

job to do, and we have every right to expect you to do it.‖

Page 71: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

65

―That‘s just what I am doing. I‘m sure you would not want me to be insincere. Isn‘t that right?‖

―We think you‘re trying to duck your responsibilities.‖ ―There are risks to any implementation. It doesn‘t help anyone to

bury our heads in the sand and pretend they don‘t exist.‖ ―It‘s a little late for this kind of candor, don‘t you think?‖ ―I do. But the risk factors I presented are there, and it is my duty

to make you aware, like it or not.‖ The call concluded agreeing to disagree, and Alex remained

angry. Facing reality was not always pleasant, but he had to be told. I told myself to take the evening off and again try to think of

something else for a while. Go for that walk I‘d put off for days. Maybe watch TV later. Get mindless and recover from the stressful day.

Page 72: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

66

Chapter 18 Researching Silverstruk

The overhead camera shot was a dramatic display of the four players remaining in the Planet Poker Tour‘s Final Round, all dressed like they were on their way to work at a car wash. There are all colors of poker chips stacked every which way in front of each player. I thought the stacks revealed the players‘ core personality. Two had neatly stacked chips and looked like cautious players who wanted to always know where they stood and bet carefully. One was very messy, with stack heights as irregular as the Singapore skyline, one stack ridiculously high, another very short, several the very same height, and a spread of loose chips surrounding the stacks like a beachfront. This guy I figured was deceptive—trying to make the other guy think his play is sloppy as his stacks. Go ahead, take advantage…go all-in. The last guy fidgeted, separating a single stack of chips into two stacks then reshuffling the stacks into one stack again—all with one hand. I couldn‘t figure how he did that. I didn‘t know if it made him good or bad at poker, but I thought it forecast bad things for his stomach lining.

I sat in my recliner popping raw cashews into my mouth and washing them down with orange soda for a change. Coffee was killing me. I wondered if I could make a living playing poker tournaments. Wondered if I had the nerves for it. To bluff. To lie with a straight face.

Danny, a five-time world champion, bet eight hundred thousand dollars. The color man said that was a good bet, figuring the pot odds. Danny stood to win triple his bet back. The announcer is very impressed with Danny‘s poker skills. I wondered why. Danny hadn‘t won a tournament in seven years.

The camera closed in on Danny‘s eyes as they shifted from player to player. Danny can read minds. So the announcer says. He gives them each searching looks. His pupils got real small. He was pinching his lower lip which always helps people see through other people. I began to think how unsettling it would be if he whipped out a pocket Ouija board and started chanting a little mumbo jumbo and waving his hands around. ―Hey, what the hell!‖ the others would shout. They‘d have to get a ruling on it, and just what would they decide? Danny wouldn‘t do that, of

Page 73: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

67

course, because he‘s already read the other guys‘ minds and already knows what they would do. Watching TV was working. I was getting mindless.

Two guys fold, the last guy bets ―All-in.‖ The audience howled and clapped. The announcer thinks Danny has his opponent on a middle pair. Danny has two aces. He pauses for several dramatic moments and calls the all-in bet. Cards flip. Danny loses. The announcer is stunned.

I believe Danny didn‘t realize that there were a lot more players in the field these days, and these new guys have learned very well how the game is played. Danny was winning big when there were plenty of chumps at the table—like the proverbial low hanging fruit business people talk about.

I think there is no low hanging fruit for Danny in his business or for me in my business anymore. Not that there was ever any excuse for business people going around taking advantage of people. Bluffing like it was poker. It was just another reality Danny and I had to grasp. He had to play better and my company had to continuously improve to compete.

And give it up, nobody can read minds. My landline rang. Caller ID showed it was from Indian Resort. I

knew it had to be Lucky. He had some way of changing the way his Caller ID read from time to time. It was hard to find Lucky if he didn‘t want you to.

―Hey, chief,‖ I said. ―You watching Planet Poker?‖ Lucky asked. ―As a matter of fact I was.‖ ―I think Danny is a has-been. And no one, not anyone, I mean no

one can read minds. Fuck that crap.‖ ―I was just thinking the same…‖ Lucky cut me off. ―Here‘s what I got on Silverstruk. Turns out he‘s

a bona fide tough guy.‖ ―How tough?‖ ―Tough enough to get you snuffed if he wants to. But that‘s his

second option. And he‘s outsourced that kind of work.‖ ―Is Sebastian W-2?‖ ―Yes, but I don‘t have him on hit man anyway. He‘s just a

weightlifter. Almost made the Japanese Olympic team.‖ ―Scares me to death.‖ ―Turns out Mr. Silverstruk had Maury Loeb‘s car have the

accident that killed him. Mob guys did it on contract for a permanent dream, right?‖ Lucky thought he was clever working Mr. Loeb‘s company name in that way. I didn‘t think it was funny.

―So he kills,‖ I said.

Page 74: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

68

―As a last resort. He didn‘t kill the prosecution witness, for example. He bought him off.‖

―Kinda like he‘s buying me.‖ ―Yes. Like that.‖ ―So what do we do?‖ ―We wait to see if he kills you.‖ ―That‘s not funny.‖ Lucky let loose with a high reedy laugh. ―Okay, it‘s not funny, but

this is. Guess who the witness was.‖ ―Jimmy Hoffa.‖ ―Now that is funny.‖ Lucky laughs till he‘s coughing. He didn‘t

sound well, but then he‘d always sounded a little frail. Another part of his natural disguise. ―It was Manny DiSalvo.‖

―Manny? The warehouse guy?‖ ―The same.‖ ―What‘s this mean?‖ ―I‘d say Mr. Silverstruk has an inside guy keeping tabs on his boy

Alex. Bought and paid for tattle-tale.‖ ―Damn. Manny is Charles Silverstruk‘s man. I thought he was

trying to warn me about the old man when I was there.‖ ―Don‘t think so. Just giving you the heads-up is my take. Get it

done right, or else.‖ I took a shower and went to bed feeling refreshed as any marked

man could be. Somehow having Lucky involved now gave me a sense of security, but not for any good reason. He was nowhere near at the moment, and I was standing naked in my bedroom about to crawl under the sheets.

I punched up a semi-seated position on my fancy new bed‘s remote control. Head and knees raised. It operated like a hospital bed, and I could sit up to read. I tucked a pillow under my head, grabbed my book and reached for my glasses. As I leaned toward the nightstand I caught sight of Sara‘s portrait hanging on the opposite wall. In the picture she‘s busy drawing something, her thin body sitting at the kitchen table, where little girls should be—safe, happy, involved in life. She was only eight when a former friend of mine painted it, and gave it to me for Christmas. The best gift I ever received. I hung it there, in my line of sight each night when I went to bed and each morning when I got up. A reminder of all that‘s important to me. Wherever she was.

I pulled the sheets up, they were cool to the touch and the bed welcomed me in all the right places. For the moment, life was good. I read for only a few minutes before I began falling asleep with a relaxing sort of natural drowsiness creeping over me. The way sleep should envelop a tired soul for the night. I tossed the paperback on the floor,

Page 75: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

69

shed my glasses and reached to turn off the light, but not before taking one last look at Sara looking back at me from her position on the wall.

And then the phone rang. Sara. My first question, almost every time, tumbled forth, ―Are you all

right, honey?‖ ―Yes, Dad. Sort of.‖ ―Tell me.‖ The good news was she was chosen the debate team captain. The

bad news she was to prepare a debate team from those who got the best scores on the mid-term civics exam. There were four members in addition to herself who would attend a debate contest between colleges in her school‘s conference. The problem was in filling the last seat on the team. Randy Cobb qualified for the last of the four seats.

―But, Dad, I know he cheated on the exam. I saw him,‖ Sara said. ―That‘s not good. So now what?‖ I asked. ―I‘ve been waiting for him to confess it and drop out.‖ ―How‘s that working?‖ I‘ve seen a talk show counselor use this

question a lot. It‘s a great question, makes you face reality when you try to answer it.

―It‘s wishful thinking, I guess. We‘ve already had our first practice. I feel like the faculty advisor can read my thoughts. I‘m afraid she‘s going to ask us about what she might already suspect.‖

―Why?‖ ―Because Randy scored well above his usual on the exam. He‘s

not that smart.‖ ―You think she knows.‖ ―Strongly suspects. She looks at me like she‘s waiting for one of us

to break down and tell.‖ ―Well, what next?‖ I shifted myself up in my bed and laid my

book aside, preparing for a long talk. ―I was going to ask you that.‖ ―Not that easy. You tell me.‖ I wondered where I‘d got the

wisdom to leave the thinking to her, make her do the processing. Let her grow with the experience. Ordinarily, I‘d blurt out what she should do.

―We have a code of honor. Paula Toms should be on the team, not Randy.‖

―So who‘s supposed to do what?‖ ―You‘re not making this easy.‖ ―What‘s easy about it?‖ I was sounding like that TV counselor

again. I thought maybe I was getting too clever. ―Cute, Dad. What are parents for, if not for times like this? Tell

me something.‖

Page 76: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

70

―I think I‘m doing pretty good, actually. Keep talking.‖ Back on track again. Make her keep thinking.

―Paula knows, too. Why doesn‘t she tell her?‖ ―How do you think that would go?‖ I‘m thinking I need to change

occupations now. I‘m good at this. Maybe a marriage counselor or something where I get to just ask all the questions.

―I suppose it would look like she was lying to get on the team. Or just being vengeful.‖

―So she‘s not your best witness, huh?‖ ―No. So you‘re telling me I have to do it?‖ ―Not my words.‖ We were fencing now. ―Well what then, for god‘s sake, Dad?‖ ―It‘s your choice, not mine.‖ ―Thank you very much. Don‘t you have an opinion?‖ I love her tenacity and wish I could hug her right now. ―Sure.‖ ―And what‘s that?‖ ―It‘s your choice.‖ ―Okay, nevermind. If you don‘t want to help, I‘ll just—I‘ll call

Mom. Good bye and thanks for nothing.‖ Call mom. Great jab. I know her mom is very unlikely to help her,

or even talk to her. I thought I‘d done the right thing. I tell myself that maybe she‘ll appreciate this someday. She rarely does anything I advise anyway. I quit the failed strategy, telling her what to do, a while back. I was certain she knew what she had to do, and would do whatever she decided to do without my weighing in with a decision.

I turned off the bedside lamp again thinking I can be like that too, struggling with a decision to make. And knowing all along what I had to do. Sleep was still welcoming me and I quickly sunk into a deep slumber.

Page 77: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

71

Chapter 19 Silverstruk Threatens

It was very early. I was sleeping deeply without artificial aids for a change. Even Sara‘s call hadn‘t kept me awake worrying. I was on a sunny beach somewhere when the phone rang. A phone ringing before sunrise is a cattle prod on high voltage, a phone ringing before breakfast is only pepper spray—but either one can just about kill you. My heart reached take-off propulsion on the first ring. I answered the phone figuring I was going to be punished somehow.

A voice said, ―Mr. Silverstruk would like to speak with you. Hold on.‖ Sebastian put me on hold while he turned the call over to his boss. After a few moments, I wondered what could make a person feel more powerful than to have another person dial the phone for them, and make the other guy wait to speak to his Excellency. It was the way kings, kidnappers and drill sergeants got your full cooperation, by stripping you of your dignity first. I waited like a peasant.

Finally, Mr. Silverstruk‘s raspy voice spoke to me. ―Good morning, Richard.‖ I wished he‘d stop with the phony politeness. ―I‘m hearing alarming things about you.‖

―About me? And I‘m such a dull person.‖ Where I‘ve gotten the courage to be witty, I don‘t know.

―You make me wonder about that, Richard. I want to talk to you about risk. You know what risk is?‖

―Risk, reward—square roots? I‘m your answer man, Mr. Silverstruk. Ask me anything.‖

―You‘re not quite awake yet, are you Richard? You‘re being rude.‖ The numbers on the clock read 4:42—a digital code for rude in

my book. ―All right. Tell me about risk, Mr. Silverstruk.‖ I wanted to get this

over with as soon as possible now. There was no sense resisting. ―The simplest form of risk costs you money. I‘m sure you‘re

familiar with that.‖ ―Mr. Silverstruk, if Alex has complained to you about my risk

assessment report, you can come right out with it. The risks should have

Page 78: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

72

been discussed in the first place, and they weren‘t. I did what had to be done.‖

―The more serious risks cost you more than money.‖ He was ignoring me.

I responded in kind—ignoring his escalating threat. ―Flying blind is risky. You think I should lead Alex around blindfolded?‖

―Richard, I am advising you not to make your list of risks a list of excuses. You understand I won‘t tolerate excuses.‖

―I‘m not making excuses. Or predictions. Just managing a project as best I can.‖

―It‘s about time you got up, isn‘t it Richard? I‘d call it risky to be sleeping in, if I were you.‖ Click. The line went dead.

Predictable thug, I thought. Right out of a some late-night gangster movie. It‘s one thing to watch such a cliché‘d scene munching a late night snack. It was quite another thing to be on the receiving end of such intimidation. One puts you to sleep, the other won‘t let you. I got up and called Lucky.

―Lucky. We gotta talk.‖ ―You‘re lucky I was awake, Richard. I respond poorly to phone

calls in the early hours.‖ ―I couldn‘t wait. I just got a call from Silverstruk.‖ ―That‘s better than a bullet.‖ ―Only slightly. Look, I know it‘s only intimidation at this point,

but we know it can lead to something worse.‖ ―Nothing to worry about now. Massah Charles is in bed and

Sebastian is making him coffee at the moment. ―You‘re at his house?‖ ―Near enough to see through a window. Just doing a little more

research, Richard. You keep working. I‘ll be around.‖ Click. The line went dead. Lucky could match Silverstruk for arrogance any day.

Right now, like Lucky said, I had to go to work.

Page 79: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

73

Chapter 20 Breaking Bad Habits

I reached Paul to discuss gathering the master data. I made no mention of my past requests for a project plan, that was water under the bridge now, and a project manager doesn‘t need to ruffle feathers unnecessarily. A good part of the job is keeping the peace.

I told him the plan to efficiently gather and import the master data. Key to the plan: minimize Paul‘s time involved with the grunt work of cleansing data and the mechanics of uploading it. I planned to make the customer responsible for the data‘s integrity.

Paul would train Donald on importing legacy data into the proper fields in the data transfer templates. There are hundreds of fields and dozens of tables in the templates. Paul agreed to the plan and began working with Donald on the data. I tracked his progress, emailing him periodically to make sure something was getting done before reaching the due date.

As it turns out, Paul ―trains‖ Donald with show and tell conference sessions, but he doesn‘t leave him with any documentation. Donald has nowhere to look up answers for himself. He has to repeatedly call Paul. He can rarely reach Paul.

Paul would check the templates Donald completed, making sure the right type of data was in the correct columns. The off-shore team would then take the templates and check and correct what‘s needed to make the records importable. Once the data was ready, they would remotely upload the master records into the test database on the Best Bargain server.

Finally, the records would be printed out and Best Bargain would validate the data to their satisfaction and sign off on it when they judged it ready to use. Any changes after that would be input directly into the system by Best Bargain. Otherwise the master data import stage could be strung out endlessly.

Paul ran into troubles. Donald hadn‘t filled out the templates correctly. Donald claimed he‘d been misinformed and told me he couldn‘t get answers from Paul. The overseas technical team couldn‘t

Page 80: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

74

understand the data and couldn‘t get it to upload. Too much was wrong and too much was missing.

Paul had told me by this point that he passed the data import files to the technical team without checking them first—saying he didn‘t have the time. Now he, the technical team and Donald were spending great amounts of time trying to straighten things out—all working on the same task simultaneously negating the efficiency I planned into the team effort. Paul was pulled away from his other tasks causing other due dates to slip even more.

What is it with Paul? I thought. Was it subterfuge or his resignation that was undermining me and the project. How would I deal with either factor? I didn‘t have an alternate to replace him. I didn‘t think the problem was really about resenting me. I thought he was nearly burnt out. Direct confrontation would not work in either case. Applying the harsh rasp of command or criticism to the wound would only add to the pain, and Paul would naturally pull away.

My plan was to promote peer-level interaction, and let his pride fuel his effort. It‘s hard to get anyone to do anything else but what they want to do, not without very close and direct over-the-shoulder supervision. That was impossible. I had to cultivate an environment where Paul, sharing his thoughts with a sympathetic but inquisitive group, would want to do better.

I had missed the opportunity to challenge and manage Paul‘s effort. I should have acted immediately when I first heard he had passed on the data without looking at it—instead of accepting the bad news passively as I did. I should have had him back up and review the data import files at that time, then resend them. I could have called the technical team and called them off the effort until Paul finished. I was too cautious, too afraid of offending him. I let it slide.

Without the discipline to stick to the methodology, the project veered out of control. I now had to intervene in their conference calls, lead them into seeing the duplication of effort, and get their tasks divided again. I could set the course right again, but I had allowed precious time to be wasted.

Page 81: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

75

Chapter 21 Weaseling

The test server was being set up. One of the independent software provider‘s consultants asked Donald for the licenses to complete the install. I had asked Tracer that the software be set up with temporary licenses just to get things going. The message didn‘t get through, apparently.

Donald didn‘t have the permanent licenses. Because we hadn‘t paid for them yet. The phone rang. Caller ID said it was Best Bargain.

It‘s was a sunny day outside, and I had the curtains completely pulled back to let every ray of sunlight in. But when the phone rings, the room shrinks and nothing exists except the few square feet of my desk. And the handset, that peephole to the outside world these days, invited bad news like a fire station. Some days I thought I could live on intravenous Xanax and never get too relaxed.

―Richard, Donald Moore. I‘ve got the shipping system consultant here in my office asking for the licenses for the software. Why don‘t I have them?‖

―Not sure, Donald. Let me check into that. In the meantime, he can install the software with temporary licenses.‖

I thought to myself, if the vendor’s company is willing, they could. But right now they‘re mostly concerned that they‘ll never get paid.

―When will I get the real licenses?‖ ―Let me get back to you with an answer to that, Donald.‖ Caught again, and I‘m covering up for Triple-S. This was getting

too easy for me, and it made me feel very uncomfortable. What would my daughter think if she knew her father conducted himself this way?

I called Gregg. ―This is the last time I cover for us, Gregg. When are we going to

pay Tracer for these licenses?‖ ―I don‘t know. I‘ll call the home office and check on funds.‖ ―Just be prepared, I‘m not playing this game anymore.‖ ―Richard, it‘s real world. You do what you gotta do.‖ ―What we gotta do is pay for these licenses and stop lying about

it.‖

Page 82: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

76

―Richard, let‘s be grownups about this. If you don‘t have the stomach for this kind of work—I mean, this isn‘t a revival.‖

―I‘m not the problem here.‖ ―Listen to me. Don‘t play games with this project. We can‘t afford

it.‖ ―Let‘s keep this simple. When we do things right, they get what

they want. And they pay us. What do you have against that?‖ ―I just think we have to deal with circumstances the way they

are.‖ ―Yes, but we create the circumstances. And wouldn‘t it be better if

you and I were collaborators, and not at each other‘s throats?‖ Gregg paused a long time. ―Okay, okay. Let‘s just keep this thing

moving.‖ A little diplomacy had backed Gregg down, but I couldn‘t feel

much comfort in that. Gregg was feeling threatened, obscuring his perspective, and now he was threatening me, too. The truth was the last thing I needed was another obstruction or another enemy, and I had hard choices to make that could cost me more than Gregg had on the line. I had to hope that Gregg would not turn on me.

My phone rang shortly after I hung up with Gregg. I hoped that it wasn‘t Alex. I didn‘t need another going over at the moment. I got lucky, it was Sara.

―Dad, I‘ve never had to call you for extra money before, but I‘m signed up for a trip to London to see some of Shakespeare‘s plays. There‘s a fee for the air fare and my room. I don‘t have enough.‖

I knew she‘d been working at the school, making pocket money at best. Sara didn‘t like living in a state of dependency even though every other kid on the campus was. It was probably due to her sense of abandonment coming from both her parents at different point in time. She seemed to want to navigate life on her own, baggage free. I was glad she called me for help though, and I intended to make it as pain free as possible.

―I‘m glad to hear you‘re going, honey. How much?‖ ―Nine hundred.‖ ―Not a problem.‖ Except I didn‘t know where to send it. I

supposed she‘d ask me to put it in an account. ―Let me give you my address. If you‘ll just make it out to the

school, I can give it directly to them.‖ I took this as some kind of break through. I haven‘t had a

personal address for her in years. I put her address in my Outlook. ―It‘s on its way, Sara. This was as unexpected. Progress in relationships, it seemed,

could go in spurts. Whatever had prompted this was a gift to me.

Page 83: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

77

Chapter 22 Test Scripts

They say a million things could go wrong when operating an ERP system. I had found that was no exaggeration. I thought it was probably true in about any kind of project, actually. The combination of variables and events could provoke outcomes no one would expect. But it happened. That‘s why all software warranties basically disclaim responsibility for anything bad that happens when using their software. But don‘t most warranties have more limitations than promises?

Nonetheless, I knew there had to come a point when the system was said to be working. However, the only statement that mattered was when the customer said it‘s working. And no project of any type can legitimately be concluded before a thorough dry run of the system validates that it‘s ready. No one is willing to pay or sign off for something that isn‘t working. The challenge: define working. The answer was in the test scripts that would be run by Best Bargain to determine if the outputs were correct.

I talked to Paul about the matter. ―How have you gone about preparing test scripts in the past,

Paul?‖ ―I don‘t use scripts. We just run several transactions, order to

cash, purchase to payment, then do the basic banking functions. We run a trial balance before and after. If it balances, we‘re good to go.‖

―Do you get a sign off afterwards?‖ ―No. What‘s the point? If something doesn‘t work later on, we‘re

going to fix it anyway.‖ ―Well, the point is to determine the finish line. Yeah, we‘ll fix

things that might go wrong after that, but we have to have the option to start billing for future work. Software doesn‘t come with an all expenses paid warranty, right?‖

―I don‘t think it will change anything, but tell me what you want me to do.‖

One of our persistent problems centered on this very issue. Triple-S never used user acceptance testing based on customer approved test scripts to officially sign and close development and system

Page 84: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

78

preparation. Consequently, the client had always felt justified in asking for more fixes and even enhancements using the broadest possible interpretations of the proposal and the blueprint. There was no end to it all.

There had to be a point when the system was considered finished, or the project would remain an open-ended obligation with no end to the profit drain caused by the customer‘s endless complaints—be they real or imagined.

It may have been that Triple-S generally felt responsible for the messy process that preceded the go-live, and was inclined to provide almost unlimited services at no charge as penance. And having no methodology, no rules of the road to rely on, they had no alternative other than to engage in a push-and-shove argument over what services were owed or not. It was an ugly and unprofitable process I wanted to avoid.

I suggested that Paul might take a simple approach to developing test scripts. He could ask Best Bargain to select a few past sales and purchasing transactions. Those documents would provide both the inputs and outputs to confirm the successful tests, from sales order to invoice, from purchase order to payment. He could then check inventory levels for each of the items, check account balances, run a trial balance sheet, then go through the banking functions from deposits through reconciliation. Having the stakeholders, Best Bargain, participate in the selection and preparation of the tests would oblige them to sign off on the user acceptance testing when it was completed successfully.

How much testing should be done seemed to me to be an arbitrary matter. It could take a day or days, depending on the extent of the testing. More testing meant more billable hours. This project was a time and materials based purchase, however, so Best Bargain could be persuaded to keep the testing to a reasonable level and not break the budget over it.

Like the blueprint, the importance of the test scripts I thought had to be emphasized. I attempted to persuade Paul of the importance they held.

―I would tell them when you sign off on the user acceptance testing using these test scripts, the system development is considered finished. All that remains is the final training and the go-live process. And then you ask them if that sounds fair. I think you want to hear them say yes, to get them mentally committed to it.‖

―What if they find bugs?‖ ―We release bug fixes twice a year at no charge. Isn‘t that your

answer?‖

Page 85: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

79

Paul reluctantly agreed to the approach. He would assemble the test scripts in collaboration with Best Bargain.

After hanging up with Paul, I thought of one of my favorite sayings, ―Man plans, God laughs.‖ I knew that even the best methodology could encounter a customer who wouldn‘t abide by the rules. There seemed to be only one fallback position—issues between the consultant firm and the customer should be worked out using the project documentation for reference. I didn‘t think this would be any different if the confusion had existed between an in-house project team and the various department‘s stakeholders within the same company. Without proper documentation, it was a cage match.

In my experience as a project team member, I had seen that customers were often spooked from the very outset at the prospect of what they were attempting. They feared a new system could ruin the entire business. Best Bargain was no different. It was understandable that their fears might overtake their rationality from time to time. A properly executed methodology was intended to provide them the confidence in what our consulting firm was doing for them. A ragged implementation, on the other hand, scared the hell out of customers. And we had Best Bargain on edge that way. Facing their panic, I had to restore their confidence.

It was my position that what worked best in any tense situation was simply to offer the clear evidence that their requirements were being met. This is not so easy when anxieties cloud communications. Anyone whose had an argument with a parent, child or spouse would know that. I found that in the grip of a dispute it was important to observe some guidelines I had compiled from a series of such experiences that were helpful in containing anxieties and avoiding an escalating argument:

Never get confrontational—don‘t even look or sound like it; stay seated; look relaxed—and not like a fighter resting in his corner before the next round;

Never raise your voice. Use calm tones of voice; Never call names. Restraint is a paramount virtue in these tense

moments; Never impugn their motives. One can never apologize enough for

the damage this causes; Hear them out completely. Without interrupting—patience,

patience, patience; Demonstrate the facts of the matter very slowly getting their

agreement each step of the way. Brick by brick, get something solid in place to build on.

Then ask for their consent again. And again. And again. Repeat as necessary.

Page 86: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

80

In these tense discussions, I would act as though I had all the time in the world. Being relaxed suggests a rational approach. Hurrying suggest bullying. I thought it unwise to terminate the discussion in a show of frustration or resignation. That‘s the last thing the other party remembers if you leave it there, and it‘s harder to have a follow up discussion starting where you left off that way. You could be late for your dialysis, but I think you should never leave the discussion in inflamed disarray. Only persistent, calm resolution can bring the matter to a close. If agreement cannot be reached, calmly and empathetically set up another time for another meeting—we all want this to work. And do it all again.

User acceptance testing needed to happen at least two weeks before we started the week-long final training with each department and company management present. If anything wrong was to show up, I needed to allow some time to fix the problem and re-run the failed transaction before we started training. Best Bargain had to sign-off on the readiness of the system before training could begin.6 Facing a nearing go-live date, I began thinking of ways to compact these two activities by having training begin on the heels of user acceptance testing—hoping that there would be no glitches in the software.

The training database, the very same database we would go live with, except for the final balances, would be imported the weekend of go-live. It needed to be fully prepared for the full cycle of transactions the test scripts would call for. I had yet to see a finished training database.

A delay in training meant a delay in the go-live. It was important to get this done right, or be prepared to delay. And I had to be prepared for another ugly encounter with Sebastian. The thought of that left me weak in the knees.

We had been actively on the project for twelve weeks and closing in on April 15, the date when we had agreed to assess our readiness to go live on May 1. As I reviewed the project plan, it was absolutely clear that we were not going to be ready. Some changes to the timeline needed to be made were we to agree on a delayed go-live date that could be achieved as soon as possible.

I was beginning to feel very alone in this project.

6 See Sample Sign Off in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 87: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

81

Chapter 23 Good Intentions on Your Dime

―I don‘t understand. What do you mean we can‘t print from the handheld?‖

If anything could destroy one‘s inclination to have faith in anything, it would be serving time as a project manager. I had a new attitude, and I wouldn‘t assume buckets held water if I were managing a Chicago‘s finest fire brigade. And the truth is, you shouldn‘t. This afternoon Sri told me that the handheld scanners the warehousemen will be using don‘t have a print command on the menu—and it can never have one. So he says. Our buckets were leaking, so to speak. Of course.

This meant they couldn‘t print a carton label, a pallet label, a price label, shipping labels, bin labels, nothing. They couldn‘t print using the handheld from where they stood in the warehouse while performing a task that might require a label printed.

I began to think of those firemen forming a line passing buckets back and forth to and from the spigot. Maybe a line of warehousemen could form a ―label line?‖ Such was the ridiculous state of affairs.

Half the imports from China didn‘t have a carton label on them, I explained. How could they scan and pick a carton with no label? They had to label the cartons when they received them, at the dock. That was the big deal behind the whole warehouse system—barcodes and accuracy.

―They have to print them from the PC, Richard.‖ ―What? And have the picker walk all the way over to the PC in the

manager‘s office each time he needs some labels? If they knew which cartons we‘re going to need labels, they could print them in advance, but they don‘t always know that.‖

―It can‘t be helped.‖ ―The system is supposed to save footsteps, Sri. Increase

efficiencies. Get the orders out the door faster. They need to print from a printer close by, at the dock at minimum, where they can get to them quickly.‖

This was all in the blueprint. Sri had the blueprint. He knew when label printing was planned to occur in the processes. But the conversation revealed a flaw in my approach. I should have had the

Page 88: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

82

software development department sign off on the blueprint before I presented it to Best Bargain, but I hadn‘t. Now Sri claimed foul. Our solution wasn‘t printing labels from the handheld the day Gregg sold the deal to Best Bargain. How could I or the customer legitimately demand the functionality now?

He had a point. Gregg could have been accused of overselling, and I could have been accused of overpromising. I learned something. In the future, I must have the technical team sign off on the blueprint before presenting it to the customer to avoid surprises and disputes later on. Communications was the most important priority of the project manager, and I had blown it.

Still, I am bothered at the circumstance. Applications must be able to print something. It‘s a Windows function. Every application can print.

Sri told me he would see what he could do. I added the task to the project plan under Developments. Due date: ―?‖.

I called Gregg. I explained the situation. I wanted to tell him my neck was on the line, but I couldn‘t take that chance. I could only try reason, but a threat would have felt better.

―This is just wrong, Gregg. I need you to put some pressure on Sri.‖

―He‘ll fix it. Don‘t worry,‖ Gregg assures me. Gregg was all hope; I was all facts. The functionality was not there, and Sri gave me no assurance he could put it there.

Sebastian was waiting. Sri had to make this work.

Page 89: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

83

Chapter 24 Half-baked Software

If I were stranded on a desert island and had to choose two foods to live with I‘d choose coffee and low-salt roasted peanuts, shelled. I ate peanuts almost every day between mealtimes. All day long. I‘d looked the Planter‘s Peanut man in the eye often enough to be on speaking terms. I was pouring a pile of nuts into the jar‘s inverted lid that I used as a serving dish when the landline sounded. Best Bargain displayed on the caller ID. I made sure to swallow the peanuts in my mouth before I started this conversation. Every time Donald or Alex called I got tense. It‘s too much to eat crow and peanuts at the same time. How was he going to put me on the spot now?

―Richard, this is Donald from Best Bargain.‖ ―Yes, Donald.‖ ―Now that we have the warehouse mapped, we‘re ready to print

the labels and put them on the bins. I‘ve got the crew setup to do this Saturday. Can Paul help us get them printed?‖

―Sure. But give us a little more time. Sri is making some adjustments to the handheld code for your new pick-to-carton feature. Let‘s get that tested, then we‘ll print, okay?‖

―I can‘t let this become a last minute thing. You‘re sure you‘ll be ready in time?‖

―It‘s on the project plan, Donald. I‘ll track it.‖ The words had spilled from my mouth as smooth as a waterfall,

and it felt sleazy. I slipped on a jacket and stepped out the patio door to go for a walk. The air was beginning to take on the fragrance of new plant life. The freshness could clear my head and allow me to reflect on matters. I started walking in a direction only my feet seemed to know, and began snaking through the streets keeping close to the curbs.

It was not exactly true, what I said. Only half true. And the half that was true was irrelevant. I marveled at how a quick delivery and a confident tone can stifle an objection. Donald had let it pass. Though the intention was to make labels print from the handheld menu, we simply didn‘t know how or when we could.

Page 90: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

84

I could argue that Best Bargain did not ask to see the printing function when they were viewing the demos. Buyer beware, et cetera. But I asked myself, wasn‘t there a point when we failed reasonable expectations? Such had been done before, in the frantic drive to get business. Our circumstance provoked a memory of an article I read about the Tucker Torpedo. It was the most egregious rush-to-market story I‘d ever heard.

Preston Tucker introduced a remarkably innovative car named the Tucker Torpedo in 1948. The booming car market had attracted a number of entrepreneurs since the inception of a gas powered car. Tucker, an entrepreneur‘s entrepreneur, wanted in on the business. He was a highly creative man and introduced a number of extraordinarily prescient features in his dream car—the engine was rear mounted, a ―Cyclops‖ headlight mounted in the front center of the car swiveled when you turned to light up the road ahead around the curve, and it had seat belts, to name a few of a dozen innovations.

His conception was rushed into development at a break-neck speed to meet the deadline for its world premiere in June. Though the car had a strikingly attractive body design, and lured a huge audience to the unveiling, skepticism quickly developed beginning when the suspension snapped on the prototype and the car had to be pushed onto the display platform.

It got worse. A rumor spread that the car could not back up, and it was at the moment true. The Tucker Torpedo did not have a reverse gear. This was added later, but too late, the impression had been cast. The Torpedo was the product of hurried and sloppy work.

Worse yet, in Tucker‘s unrestrained zeal to get revenues flowing, he sold accessories to hundreds of potential buyers before a production car was ever made. Ultimately, only fifty-one Tucker Torpedoes were manufactured and sold before production had to be suspended, leaving a great number of people with useless souvenir accessories from the Tucker Torpedo fiasco.

Preston Tucker started with a love for the automobile, but descended into a loveless affair. What was once surely a passion became a lust. Driven by greed and glory, he failed to deliver a heartfelt, honest value, the downfall of many business ventures gone awry. Triple-S bore an unseemly resemblance. Could it be called criminal? Maybe not, but we quacked like ducks. Who would have wanted to be toyed with this way?

No project lives in an ideal world, and the Best Bargain project existed in a very troubled environment. But had professional project methodologies been practiced in the past, the types of deficiencies I was finding in our solutions would not have been benignly overlooked as they were. We were in a hurry just like Preston Tucker.

Page 91: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

85

I learned that our wireless handheld functionality had just been de-installed at a previous implementation that had gone live just two months before the Best Bargain project began. It hadn‘t worked and the client had given up in exasperation. How could the project have gone live with such an obvious deficiency? There could not have been any pre-go-live full cycle testing that included the handheld functionality, that‘s for sure.

Following a disciplined methodology would have exposed the problem before that go-live. Through the accountability of a documented project plan, progress is required. The handheld‘s issues could have been corrected back then, and I would not have faced the same problems again in this implementation. And the company would have been made better. There is no shrugging off the status quo when accomplishments are being tracked and validated.

A flock of honking geese flew in from nowhere it seemed and arrested my thoughts. I watched their purposeful flight path and wondered if they actually migrated anywhere, they always seemed to be around. They were always cheerfully content, too. Whether they represented the same potential for we humans, who could tell, but their loud celebration overhead was inspiring. I made the turn for home.

I began yet another status check on my personal safety. I hadn‘t seen or heard anything from Sebastian or Mr. Silverstruk‘s since he‘d made his early morning phone call to me. I couldn‘t tell how closely he was watching me now, but I certainly understood that door locks were no object if he wanted to get in for a closer communication. Having heard nothing from him, I could only assume that Alex had not reported anything disturbing to his father. I lived in the uneasy peace that no news was good news.

But Charles Silverstruk had an alarming way of getting my attention when he wanted it. I was not sleeping well, and neither was anyone else on my team going to until this was done and my sentence lifted.

Page 92: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

86

Chapter 25 Trumping Reality

Weeks would pass before Triple-S found the money to pay Tracer. As a consequence, many other dependent due dates needed to be pushed out because of the delay. I had not updated the project plan. I knew that Alex and Donald would react badly when the truth became evident, and at least subconsciously, I didn‘t want to face that scene.

Meanwhile, our development team had been working feverishly on the special features Best Bargain was promised in the blueprint. We now had two weeks before the targeted go-live date. If they were to be ready, classroom training had to begin one week before go-live. I arranged a conference call with Vishal, Gregg, Paul and myself to discuss it.

I started the discussion. ―Gentlemen, we are at a moment of truth. If we‘re to go live May 1, we need to hold user acceptance tests over the weekend, and start training on Monday morning on the heels of testing. It will take a miracle and the three of us, Paul, myself, and you too Gregg, to pull this off.‖

―Don‘t you think we‘re ready?‖ Gregg asked. I was baffled that he could ask this question. He could he not understand where we were in the project. I saw his question as an example of the power of denial coming from a desperate man.

―No. We haven‘t seen the full system work on the test database yet. User acceptance testing has to go flawlessly, and it won‘t. Vishal, what‘s your take?‖

I posed the question to Vishal hoping that a consensus would develop in favor of delaying the testing and training. I strongly suspected Gregg would be obstinate about a delay. My strategy was to let him state his opposition later in the discussion after he had heard some support for a delay. He might have felt pressured to go along.

―I say we delay go-live four to six weeks. We‘re not ready,‖ Vishal said. I don‘t know how he computes the time frame. I suspect it‘s just a number out of thin air, but he sounds certain about it.

―And you Paul? You‘re the closest to the action,‖ I asked.

Page 93: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

87

―September 1. I would give us a few more months.‖ What‘s the magic of September 1, I wonder? Here we go again just pulling dates out of the air. It‘s what we do.

Gregg got agitated at this. ―This is crazy. These guys will go bonkers. We need to stay on track with this. Development will get done. Tracer will be working eventually. We have to train them on what we have, and that‘s the bulk of the solution. We‘ve got to go live May 1.‖

―We‘re asking for extreme trouble if we show up to do training with an untested, incomplete system,‖ I said.

Gregg countered, ―We can fix the little things in time for go-live if something goes wrong. For now, we talk them through the rough spots. Richard, move user acceptance training to the weekend after training. That will give us another week for development. We‘ve got to suck it up and go.‖

Without a company-endorsed project methodology to help decide the matter, I yielded to his vice presidential authority and said nothing more to contest his will. The facts had been laid out and he had viewed them differently than I. Gregg already thought I was a drag on the project‘s progress. What could I gain by fueling an argument by restating my opposition? And for whatever reason, he did not find me or the team credible. Gregg was pushing his troops ahead in a wild charge, while retreating from the truth. We weren‘t ready, but we were going.

I prepared a training outline and schedule and distributed it to the team and sent it to Donald and Alex. I gave them the classroom requirements and listed who should attend by job title and when. We would arrive in less than a week to conduct user acceptance testing and final training, just ten days before go-live. This was impossible, and I knew I would be hearing from Charles Silverstruk again soon.

Page 94: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

88

Chapter 26 Spanked

When I arrived at Best Bargain‘s offices, Donald proudly presented the training room set up, one of three I had asked him to prepare for each of the instructors. Contrary to my instructions, Donald had hooked up multiple desktop computers to the network for students to use. As we would discover, he had not verified that each computer had the correct configuration needed to operate the solutions, a surprisingly negligent action given Donald‘s computer science background. This led to numerous computer failures which only compounded the inherently flawed training we were attempting.

This was another instance where I let the project get out of my control. I hadn‘t confirmed the training room setup before I left for this visit. My mistakes were compounding at a frightening pace. Yet knowing the havoc that was soon to become evident, I felt it was no time to crack the whip with Donald and insist that he follow my instructions. We were in a four wheel slide. It was no time to criticize the one who failed to check the tire pressures.

I had informed Alex and Donald that I would follow a standard train-the-trainer methodology, only better. I had observed that the central reason most training fails was that it lacked the opportunity to practice a transaction enough times to actually learn it. In my years as a software trainer, I had come to appreciate the term ―entertraining‖ as an all too accurate term describing classroom training.

Some classroom training was not much more than a guided demo followed by the student‘s single attempt to mimic the demo. A few students now and then could actually benefit from this, but most learned very little. Class ratings could be high, but mostly owing to the instructor‘s entertaining manner. This spurious response to the training class had misled many executives into thinking their employees had actually been trained and that their training dollars had been well spent. It‘s not so.

Repetition is the mother of learning, as it has been said so often. I addressed this indisputable maxim with my version of the train-the-trainer method. It required the department head to learn a single or

Page 95: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

89

small set of transactions, repeating the actions until they could perform them fluidly without any assistance from me. This can‘t be hurried.

The department head then traded seats with me, invited a subordinate from the department to become the learner, and taught the learner the same transactions until the learner demonstrated their mastery. Then that learner became the teacher while another employee became the learner, all under the department head‘s supervision. In this way the department head got to observe, instruct and practice the transactions many, many times. The department head became expert. The process repeated until the training agenda was completed. They were all truly trained this way.

It was slow, but as is so often the case, slow is faster. That is, training actually achieved its objectives. The company would be actually ready for go-live when the day arrived, and avoided the chaos all too typical of many go-lives.

After seeing that Paul was set up okay in his training room, I went downstairs to greet my trainees as they arrived. Manny DiSalvo was standing at the instructor‘s podium, and gave me a big smile as I entered the room.

―Hey, Manny. Good to see you‘re ready to go,‖ I said. ―I am. Just thought I‘d get a peek at the interface,‖ he said

nodding at the screen. I circled my computer to display the opening menus. I closed my

Outlook email, switched to the Giant First screen and pointed out the warehouse menu where Manny would be doing all his work.

―I hear the shipping system isn‘t set up yet,‖ Manny said. ―No, but soon,‖ I said. Already it started. Manny wanted to see

the full functioning system, and he wasn‘t going to witness that. I had no excuses to offer.

―I guess we‘ll see what we can do without it.‖ ―Yes. We can get a good start, I think.‖ I was embarrassed, but

was automatically drawn in to putting the best face on things. As I had anticipated, there were many features that were not fully

functioning in the training system. This frustrated the class who rightfully expected to witness the new system working as it should have been. Manny did his best to be supportive, and helped by offering encouraging words to keep the class inspired. There was little he could do though. The system seemed to fail at every other step. I kept an open issues list on a table beside me that ballooned to sixteen items before the grueling day came to an end.

At the end of the first day, Paul and I left for the hotel, exhausted from the travel and the hardships of the day. We agreed to meet in the bar before going to dinner.

Page 96: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

90

Paul mounted the barstool next to me, offered a simple hello, and looked up at the TV monitor showing a soccer tournament. He had a bramble of black hair dotted with silver spikes flagging his age. A tailored goatee gave him a distinguished, professorial look. He complemented the look with a detached, dogmatic manner of speaking, looking away from the listener at some other object, presumably something of more immediate interest, and delivered his message with an oblique nonchalance—as though the truth of the matter being so obvious did not require that he apply any effort in retrieving the thought. But then it might have all come to be too mundane for Paul to care much.

―So, how did your day go, Paul?‖ ―Like yours.‖ He ever so slightly turned to me, his head bobbing,

his face showing a stony smirk. ―Yeah, well, that is not good. I‘m logging issues like crazy.‖ ―I‘ve got sixteen on my list,‖ Paul said. ―I think I can match that with mine. Do you feel like you‘re

prepared to teach them our warehouse management system on Thursday?‖

―Not so much.‖ Paul took a sip of his beer, keeping his eyes on the TV.

―Why‘s that?‖ ―I‘ve never bothered to master it, frankly. It‘s junk.‖ ―Junk?‖ ―Yep, junk. I even tried to get the Muskies to drop it from their

implementation.‖ Paul briefly turned his face to me and gave me a mischievous smile.

―The baseball team‘s project? Why did you do that?‖ ―For the same reason I avoid all our solutions. They‘re junk. It‘s

not worth my time to learn them.‖ ―Well, that puts us in a little bit of a hard place, don‘t you think?

You‘ve got to know them. You‘re scheduled to teach them the warehouse management system this week, for God‘s sake.‖

―I‘ll get by. I looked at it.‖ Such were the ravages of war, I supposed. Enough defeats and

the soldier didn‘t trust the general‘s strategies anymore. It was the unforeseen consequence of Rajan‘s leadership—the alchemy of his dreams of wealth combined with his indifference to our product‘s value. Paul didn‘t believe anymore. Almost all significant problems in any organization can be traced to the top of the organization chart.

―They‘re still expecting a May 1 go live, you know. They‘re deadly serious about that,‖ I said.

―Yep,‖ he said, his eyes still fixed on the TV. ―You and I know that‘s not going to happen.‖

Page 97: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

91

―Yep.‖ ―Yep, hell. This is trouble.‖ The following morning Alex invited me into his office with

Donald before training was scheduled to begin. Donald‘s office was a testament to disarray. If you‘re not busy, act busy, they say, and spread piles of paper around everywhere. Donald was either very busy or cleverly camouflaged. Alex spoke first.

―I guess I have this question for you, Richard. Why are you here?‖ He spoke in an accusing tone of voice.

Alex was applying full irony in his question, and I knew what he meant. Like execution day, one needn‘t ask why the guards are at the cell door at the appointed hour.

―If it had been up to me, Alex, we wouldn‘t be.‖ There, I‘d said it. I betrayed the company and by implication Gregg, too. It was the quintessential dilemma, presenting no good way out.

Alex and Donald decided that it was of no good purpose to continue the training and waste the budget on this folly. They wanted us to leave. I easily conceded. Paul and I headed home the following morning.

At the airport, I found my gate, the last one at the end of the concourse. My seat faced an empty Jetway overlooking a waveless ocean of concrete extending as far as the distant tree line. I sipped a tall coffee and nibbled on a chocolate muffin—a treat costing me the lion‘s share of a ten dollar bill. There was no good place to set down my coffee, and I was dropping crumbs down my shirt with every bite. I decided to call Gregg and discuss the fiasco over breakfast.

―They kicked you out?‖ he said in a disbelieving tone. ―Of course, Gregg. The system doesn‘t work.‖ ―But they actually kicked you out?‖ he repeated. ―This is

unbelievable. I think you could have avoided this, Richard. I think you limp-legged this visit and let them take you down because you opposed it from the beginning. You‘re not thinking about our cash flow problems. We need to bill, Richard, and now it‘s going to be delayed.‖

―You underestimate them, Gregg. How could they rationally respond otherwise?‖

―We have enough ready to go-live in two weeks. Enough to ask for another payment, and that is the point here.‖

―Paul and I logged thirty-one open issues in one day. They aren‘t idiots.‖

―Look, Richard, you can‘t keep on like this. This is no place for a purist.‖

―When does all this add up to willful negligence? Doesn‘t that cross the line into wrong?‖

Page 98: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

92

―Wrong is getting arrested. You surrendered.‖ ―I‘m not going along with this farce.‖ ―Goddamit, Richard, you act like you‘re the only one who has a

stake in this. We‘ve all got our own problems, and I got mine. And I can‘t let this project fail and see the company fold and my job along with it. So get your head out of your ass and look around.‖

―The reason we‘re where we are is because of you as much as anybody, Gregg. Don‘t cry on my shoulder.‖

Gregg‘s fears were redlining. I felt badly for him as I did everybody in this mess who had something to lose. But it didn‘t change the facts of the situation.

I found it odd how a person could selectively believe what they chose to believe to the exclusion of all contradicting facts. Now that the customer‘s goals and the vendor‘s goals became so out of alignment with one another, the stage was set for a contest of wills and threats to begin. Gregg had kicked it off by threatening me, again.

But the system didn‘t work. Who would care about that? I could think of one man in particular, and thought about him all the way home.

Page 99: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

93

Chapter 27 Ethics by Bradley

Had I been praying for it, I could have called it a miracle, but as it was it was just happy fate smiling down on me for a change. The flight was overbooked. Two of us were assigned to the same seat. A perfectly gorgeous ticket agent choose to relocate me to a first class seat. I thought, This is what I live for. Or is this all there is? I don’t know, but the drinks are free.

A middle-aged flight attendant who had not lost a bit of her charm in her in-flight years, cheerfully poured me a glass of Chardonnay. I drank it down before she turned around.

―Miss—another, please?‖ I asked with an innocent expression on my face. She smiled happily again and filled my glass. That made me feel special, I had to admit, though the wine would sink my spirits the more I drank.

A large man standing by me in the aisle excused himself and pointed to the window seat next to me. He was wearing a tailored blue blazer and sharply pressed gray trousers, no tie, just an unbuttoned white shirt exposing an ostentatious chunk of gold hanging around his neck. A diamond ring on one pinky finger was large enough to pay a kidnapper‘s ransom, while the other hand displayed an emerald the size of granny‘s green apples. I thought he looked like he required a first class seat, his own jet probably being in the shop at the time.

He was not looking at the flight attendant when he said, ―Scotch on the rocks, make it a double.‖ She was standing two rows away with her back to us, but picked up his call like one dolphin‘s supersonic squeal to another and turned immediately to prepare his drink. She somehow knew this man was important. I began to feel out of place.

By the time we reached cruising altitude, the attendant was already presenting my cabin mate with another scotch. I asked for another Chardonnay. There are few things you can do in an airline seat: sleep, think or drink. I couldn‘t sleep, so I was left with the remaining options. I drained my wine glass and asked for another. The rich man tossed down his scotch and got another, too. He didn‘t have to ask.

Page 100: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

94

My encounter with Gregg led me to think about survival just like he was. It‘s no trivial thing. Or was it? In a hundred years, we‘ll all be dead. So what does it matter? Why not just go along? I thought about this then and still do now. What does it matter how I or anybody goes about things—the right or wrong of it? People have thought about these matters for a very long time. I studied them in college for some reason. A requirement, I suppose.

What would the great philosophers have to say about selling a software solution in the twenty-first century? I had some sketchy recollections of a few of the many I had once read about. Funny how much I‘d forgotten.

The man next to me opened his Wall Street Journal. He finished his scotch and traded glasses with the attendant. He folded the paper to read an inside page. His swinging elbow invaded my airspace and nearly clipped my chin as he straightened the paper. He was oblivious to the near miss. He read silently for a few minutes then spoke to me.

―You hear about this?‖ he said and pointed to an article titled, ―Columbia Free Trade Agreement Nearing Approval.‖

I don‘t know why he should have expected that this stranger next to him would have anything in common with him, but he seemed to think we shared an orbit in his galaxy. I instinctively adopted an executive demeanor, adding an assertive strength to my voice, so as not to disappoint my cabin mate.

―No. You think it‘s going to happen?‖ ―Going to happen? Hell, it‘s already done.‖ I shrugged nonchalantly, not really knowing how I should react

and being a victim of four glasses of wine. He tilted his head towards me, but didn‘t look at me. I could see

the profile of a broad smile on his face. ―I just got back from Bogata. It‘s all set,‖ he continued.

―What kind of work do you do?‖ I asked. ―Negotiator.‖ ―Oh? Who do you work for?‖ ―No one you‘d know. MetaOil. Panamanian corporation.‖ I never heard of them. ―Panama?‖ ―Panama is just a better Delaware.‖ He chuckled at this. ―No

taxes.‖ I searched for something of substance to say and came up with a

ten-year-old story. ―I hear we spend a lot on the drug war in Columbia. Doesn‘t seem to be working.‖

―Define working. As far as we‘re concerned, it‘s working great.‖

Page 101: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

95

―But a lot of people are getting killed, I hear. Cocaine is their main export. Coffee market gone to hell. Cutting down the rainforest. What‘s working?‖ I was starting to feel like I could box with this guy.

―It‘s table-top magic, friend. The magician gets you to look over here at this hand, while he does his business with the other. Presto. Profits.‖ He gestured with his free hand, releasing an imaginary dove in the air. ―Very simple, actually.‖

―You mean the drug war is a cover story?‖ ―Indeed. And we get the oil.‖ He folded his newspaper and stuffed

it in the seat pocket. ―Bradley,‖ he said and extended his hand, still not looking at me.

―Richard.‖ ―I‘ve been doing this for almost twenty years. Still can‘t quite

believe it‘s happening.‖ ―How‘s that?‖ ―I come from an ordinary background. A middle-class kid gets

rich. That‘s me. Can you believe it?‖ He asks me like I grew up with him. Didn‘t everybody?

―So Bradley, how did you get in to this line of work—negotiating?‖ ―A childhood buddy. He was the classic nerd. All study, no girls.

He goes to Northwestern. He‘s going to be a teacher. Then he meets a kid there from Columbia. They graduate, he can‘t find a job, so his friend, Enrique, asks him to take a summer job with his father‘s company in Columbia. Oil business. The rest is history.‖

―Just that easy, eh?‖ ―He made a hundred grand in three months. Comes home, buys a

Corvette and he can‘t drive around the block without getting laid. He calls me and asks if I want in on the deal. ‗Of course,‘ I tell him, ‗Who wouldn‘t?‘ ‖

―Sounds pretty good.‖ I started to fantasize about the feeling of running into big money so young. I can feel the inebriating vapors take hold in my head just hearing about it. I have to shift in my seat to settle down.

―Made all the difference in the world to us. I‘m telling you once you‘ve got the money and contacts, you‘ve got the keys to the world. You know I can get an appointment with my Senator with less than 24 hours notice? Do you believe that? And I do. He loves to see me. Campaign donations, perks, you know. If you know how to use money, you can get anything done.‖ His swallowed the last of his scotch, and another glass appears like magic. I guessed I was watching the wrong hand.

―I suppose having money has its advantages.‖ Sounding like the voice from behind the monastery wall. Who am I kidding?, I think. I‘d like that kind of money.

Page 102: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

96

―Suppose?‖ He tilts his head in my direction and lowers his voice. ―Look at the way that flight attendant brings me my drinks. That‘s a metaphor for my whole life now. I get what I want, when I want it.‖ He was slurring a bit now.

―It‘s like this. Say the president of a country tells me he wants some perks in his life, too. Opportunity has raised its hand. Yeeessir, I can help there.‖ Bradley has raised his hand and started waving it like a schoolboy. ― So we help get his campaign financed if he‘ll promise to provide the U.S. some military bases to attack the country next door because our intelligence is hearing that Hugo or whatever left-wing dictator is going to finance terrorists—or cut off the oil supply.

―We tell our ambassador, ‗Isn‘t that something? We‘re hearing the same thing.‘ Feeding him the inside stuff. Gets him all fired up. But good news, the Columbian president is telling us he‘s willing to play ball. So our government is persuaded to give el presidenté and his generales unlimited funding for their wars and whatever. They buy a few guns; they buy a few mansions. We get the oil rights. Why? Because they think we‘re the key to the aid programs, we being the objective third party who keeps feeding our ambassador the scary propaganda. Columbia wants us to be happy.‖

―But how do you…‖ I started to ask, but he cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

―Right along with that, the drug lords are making a fortune, too, because why? Because they‘re funding el presidenté as well, and he‘s not really going to put them out of business, is he? We all get along fine.‖

―So the drug war is a big lie?‖ ―Depends on your point of view. But so what? Everybody lies,

right, uh…your name again?‖ ―Richard.‖ I‘m starting to reconsider my get-rich fantasies, and

feeling like I‘m about to be forced to confess that time I stole cigars from the grocery store in seventh grade.

―Yeah, Richard. Tell me you haven‘t told your wife she looks great when she doesn‘t.‖

―Well, that‘s a…‖ He cuts me off again. ―Ah, ah.‖ He waves a silencing finger in the air. ―And tell me you

never failed to mention that gal at the office you flirt with or what have you.‖ He gives me a sidelong glance and tips a hand back and forth inviting me to use my own imagination as to what ‗what have you‘ refers to. ―Or tell me you never told the car salesman you might just have a better price from down the street. Everybody lies.‖

I‘m thinking now I want to see my lawyer. ―But this is a pretty big lie. Billions of dollars. People are getting killed.‖

Page 103: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

97

― Yeah,‖ he lilts. He starts nonchalantly picking lint I can‘t see off his sleeve, and flicks whatever he‘s found on the floor. ―Some soldiers get killed. The drug lords lose a couple of drug shipments. Part of doing business. But here‘s the good news, everybody is making money.‖

―Except for the few thousand who got murdered, right?‖ He shrugged. ―Shoulda got an education.‖ The eight or ten scotches had finally taken their toll. Bradley

suddenly tipped his woozy head toward the window and checked out like he‘d dropped in a manhole. He snored. The attendant promptly removed his almost empty glass from his limp hand.

If this is the price of a first class seat, I was sure now I didn‘t want to sit here. I found myself thinking that Triple-S was on a similar slippery slope—minus the warfare. The base need to survive slowly overtaking our integrity. A disregard for the human cost.

The message returned to me again. Our methodology had to become our philosophy, and to that I could argue that it made the best business sense to adhere to it. And avoid the expediencies a guy like Bradley had made a way of life. Somehow I had to insist on methodology to keep everyone honest, and help Triple-S become a profitable operation. But how?

Page 104: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

98

Chapter 28 The Devil’s Wake Up Call

Chicago‘s infamous winter Hawk was screaming a personalized message in my numbing ear as I stood waiting for my limo. It was supposed to be getting warm about now, but Chicago weather had always left room for bitterly cold contradictions to weather optimists. Only the pecking pigeons bobbing along the sidewalk seemed to think the situation was normal.

I wondered how many of my fellow business travelers were returning from having made a grossly expedient attempt at some preposterous mission. Most had families to think about—and the monthly bills. They do what they must, then wait in the cold to go home. Some may actually do what they say they can do. Who knows? Impossible to tell which was which just by looking at them.

A limo is the only thing on the planet slower than a glacier. It‘s a scientific fact that thousands of us stiffs can confirm. By the time you‘ve survived a dozen disappointments, watching some lucky bastard walk straight out of the terminal and directly into a waiting limo, or frankly, after any damn body whose shivering suffering comes to end before your own, you feel more inclined to slap your limo driver than greet him.

I restrained my homicidal fantasies and watched gratefully as the shiny Lincoln crept up to the curb. Number 432. The same car as last time. The driver hopped out. Trimmed gray beard. Same driver. He waved.

―Mr. Morrow?‖ ―Yeah, that‘s me,‖ I said giving him a conciliatory wave. I hoped the similarities for this home coming would end there,

but I knew the news would soon get to Charles Silverstruk. What could I possibly say to defend this state of affairs? I rode home in silence, alone with my thoughts. And fears.

I twisted the key in the condo door and peeked inside. It was too dark to see anything. I stretched one long, timorous step into the foyer, flipped the hall light on, and quickly surveyed my computer monitor for any evidence that Sebastian had beat me home again. Nothing there.

Page 105: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

99

I thought maybe he was going to greet me personally this time. My heart throttled up.

―Hello,‖ I squeaked out and waited for a response. Nothing. People think stupid things when they‘re full of fear. Sebastian was not going to greet me until he had the advantage. When he had me trapped inside. If he was there. I went on in.

Four gaping black doorways lined the hallway. I flicked on the dim hall light, barely denting the darkness. I paused at each door, held my own breath, and listened for somebody else‘s. When I heard nothing, I crept into my bedroom to meet what fate awaited me. He was not there. I made the same expedition to each of the other rooms and survived. I was relieved but still cranked up on the adrenaline my fears produced. I took three Benadryl and went to bed hoping to be too drugged to care what might happen next, though I was cautious enough to sleep with my jeans on. Having a quick getaway in mind. That was stupid, too. I‘d never make it to the door.

No one can sleep with a hand squeezing his windpipe. From the depths of my drugged sleep, I was lifted by the chin to a wide-awake, seated position in my bed. I choked out a dazed protest. ―Lemmeguh. Lemmeguh.‖ I struggled to get free, flopping like a helpless baby seal on the bed. I tasted the acid seepage of nausea invading my mouth. ―Plezz. Plezz.‖ I was blacking out. I felt the limpness creeping up my arms and legs. The determined grip holds fast to my neck. As I fell limp, the hand suddenly released its grip and let my breathing resume. I sucked for air in short convulsions. My head toppled for the sheets. I try but can‘t sit up. I give myself up to fate, and accepted that my body would struggle for life without direction from me. Gradually, my consciousness settled in. A rhythmical breathing returned, though I felt completely depleted of any strength.

A large figure in the dark pulled the bedroom chair to the side of my bed, sat down and leaned forward like an attending physician. He sat patiently, waiting for me to recover. Finally, he spoke.

―You awake now, Richard?‖ Sebastian‘s voice spoke softly from the dark silhouette.

If being in a state of paralyzing fear counted, I supposed I was. I whispered a ―Yes.‖ Two strong hands reached under my arms and sat me upright against the headboard.

Silence again. I sat waiting. Breathing better. Thoughts still scrambled.

―Mr. Silverstruk speak with you, Richard.‖ He was a polite mugger.

―Is he—here?‖ Blame it on the Benadryl. Of course, he wasn‘t there.

Page 106: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

100

Sebastian dialed the phone, put it on speakerphone, and laid it on my lap. My bladder protested.

―I have to go to the bathroom,‖ I said. ―No, you don‘t.‖ Sebastian barked at me. I changed my mind. Mr. Silverstruk came on the line. ―Good morning, Richard.‖ He

spoke softly. I had no idea how long I had slept. ―What time is it?‖ ―Time to talk, Richard.‖ Still speaking softly, politely. ―Yes, sir.‖ I was feeling alert now. ―Richard, you have disappointed me. You‘ve allowed things to get

out of control.‖ And didn‘t I know that? I supposed now that he would ask my

recommendations for nice, nearby locations where a body might be disposed of. Because he was, after all—what did he once say?—―a fair man.‖

―Mr. Silverstruk, look, I know some things aren‘t going as hoped for...‖

―Don‘t play me. You have to take charge of this project. Your people are running all over you. You‘re a coward, Richard.‖

―We got off to a bad start. It‘s taking some time…‖ ―You don‘t have that kind of time.‖ ―I‘m doing what I can do.‖ ―Sebastian,‖ Mr. Silverstruk said, prompting his thug. Sebastian gripped my throat again. I automatically began

struggling, needing air desperately. Suddenly, I heard glass shattering. My bedroom window

exploded. Sebastian grunted. His hand dropped from my throat. I swung the telephone wildly at his head, missing.

Sebastian struggled to his feet. Thwock. Sebastian buckled, his hands grasping at his stomach. He staggered.

Thwock. A spray of dark fluid flowed from his forehead. His body sprung backwards and thudded against the wall. He dropped to the floor and began slowly crawling towards the bedroom door.

I tried to shout, but my throat was still constricted. All I could manage was a pathetic hiss. I felt faint. My head fell back on the headboard. I toppled over, face down in the sheets, drained.

I heard the front door open, imagining it was Sebastian scrambling to get out.

The remaining glass in my window was shattering again, this time purposefully, one measured stroke at a time. I watched a hand at work in the darkness, clearing the jagged edges of glass. A leg came through the window, then a head.

Page 107: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

101

I rolled off the bed and on to the floor, trying to shield myself from another attack.

―How‘s it going, Richard?‖ Lucky said as he finished pulling the rest of himself through the window. ―Sorry about your window.‖

Page 108: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

102

Chapter 29 What Is a Project Manager Supposed to Do?

Lucky‘s visit was a godsend, but it didn‘t do much to calm my nerves. How could I live peacefully with my life perpetually in his hands? Him watching me. Me trying to sleep in an imaginary comfort, believing that my guardian angel would show up in time the next time.

The new surge of adrenalin from Sebastian‘s visit had defeated the Benadryl and kept me up, on my feet, all night. When dawn broke, I found myself standing in silence at the patio door, staring out, seething with anger at everything and everyone. How could anyone deserve all this—over an implementation project?

I hated Charles Silverstruk. What could have made a man like him? It couldn‘t have been so simple as the ubiquitous abused child syndrome. He was oddly polite in doing the devil‘s business. He came from something more insidious than that, maybe a ―Please, pass the eyeballs, mother,‖ sort of ghoulish setting that twisted his heart in the beginning. Charles Silverstruk actions didn‘t flow from a man who had simply become angry beyond control; he saw the world differently. His world had a single basket scale where he weighed what he got not balanced by any offsetting concerns. And to not get what he wanted was cause enough to act malevolently, masked in his incongruent politeness—manners that met with a grisly parent‘s approval, perhaps. Whatever his origins, he was not a man who could be bargained with.

But was it the threat or the truth he spoke that had shaken me so?—coming from a man who always got what he wanted, somehow, by any means. I had to take charge of the project, he had said. Like he takes charge of his business affairs? No way. But it had stung me, what he said.

Maybe he did get it right. It was true that I needed to control the project. Not like Charles Silverstruk would. Not through ultimatum. Not through intimidation. I couldn‘t do that. But how? How? Now what? Confusion consumed me again.

For hours a thousand echoes of this same angry resentment ricocheted off the inner walls of my head in a muted hysteria. I drank half a pot of coffee and took a shower. I let the soothing warmth of the spray cascade over my head until the water turned tepid, then cold. With the

Page 109: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

103

cold, some glimmers of rational thought returned. I could think enough to know I needed some help thinking this through. I threw on my robe, poured another cup of coffee and called Vincent. I was still dripping wet.

―You sound a little groggy, Richard.‖ ―I had a very bad night.‖ I looked at my steaming coffee thinking

that it might be more effective to plunge a hand into it than drink it. ―Things are out of control.‖

―Tell me.‖ ―Alex just tossed us off the site. We went to do the final training

and it was a complete bust. Gregg is stressing out.‖ ―He‘s got trouble at home, got a very sick boy. He won‘t say what

it is, but his tone was grave when spoke of it.‖ ―I‘m sorry to hear it, but what can I do about that? My trouble is

that we went to Best Bargain and got our asses kicked. The sad fact is, I knew it was going to be a disaster.‖

―Why did you go then?‖ ―I thought it would shine a light on the reality of the situation if

the team saw just what would happen going in there unprepared. Well, they saw all right.‖

―You mean, you let it happen.‖ I could feel my gut wrench on hearing the truth played back to me like this. I ran my open hand over my face, forehead to chin, giving myself a moment to collect my thoughts.

―Yes and no. I‘d been telling them, talking to each guy all along. You‘d think they could size up the situation. But, no, Gregg insisted we move ahead. To get to the next payment milestone.‖

―So?‖ ―So he overruled me, and I went along with it.‖ ―Richard, Richard, Richard. You‘re being too passive, my friend.

You had a choice and you conceded it. That was your mistake. You should have refused to go.‖

―It would have been war.‖ ―So have a war then. It was time for you to exercise your special

perspective as project manager. It was up to you to throw on the emergency brake. You have to take control of the project, Richard. It‘s a fine balance, managing and motivating the team, but you let it tip over.‖

―So what now?‖ ―Hold everyone accountable in sight of everyone else. Status

meetings, Richard. Let everyone in on what‘s going on. Make it an up-close-and-personal experience. Snuff out the excuses and make everyone face the reality.‖

―All right, all right. I‘ll try to control it better. They‘re all going to hate me.‖

―Courage, Richard. It‘s up to you to deliver this project.‖

Page 110: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

104

I finished drying off and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was alarmed to see how my face was transformed, sagging now, deeply lined, stressed. I supposed Gregg was seeing the same in his own worried face. No matter the stress or the circumstances of my entrapment in this project, the truth was Triple-S owed the Best Bargain company fair treatment. And it was my job to deliver it, with or without the threats.

I put my robe back on and went to the living room to sit in the recliner. The soft cushions felt comforting. I smelled clean and felt slightly refreshed. What had I learned so far? What could I do differently now? I reflected on that for a while and let my thoughts flow unencumbered by the fear or the uncertainty. They say that, in battle, once the soldier accepts his impending death he can concentrate with amazing clarity. Charles Silverstruk and Sebastian had provided me some clarity. So had Vincent. This was all up to me to do. Or die.

I had learned that the organization and communication skills of the project manager are the special domain of the project manager, and I could not depend on anyone else to share those skills. I had to arrange all the calls and moderate them personally, whenever I could. I thought back on how many calls never got made or got stuck with the first obstacle in the discussions when I delegated them to others? Too many to count.

I had to tighten up my oversight, and stop letting things slip, avoiding confrontation. Every single telephone call had to be based on a written document. Almost none were. I had to always display and center the discussion on the project plan document where notes could readily be inserted in conjunction with a task. I would also take the time to retrieve relevant emails from my folders, and the blueprint, and the relevant design document. I had to indelibly impress upon the team that the project operates on documentation. They had to see me use documents to make everyone accountable. Nothing would simply be forgotten—like always happens in the vapors of oral communications alone.

Every single action, no matter how trivial, had to have a due date. A certain task might be due in three days, but if it required calling someone tomorrow, then that call would be put in the list as a subtask and it too would have a due date. And I would send an email to the consultant right away to document that he had agreed to make the call. I would follow up with a vengeance. My team needed it. They were out of control.

The project plan had to include the supporting steps for every milestone in the plan. As many times as any one consultant had completed a given task in the past, something could always be overlooked. I had been seeing these loose ends popping up unexpectedly and disrupting the task of the moment. They created a log jam of activity that overloaded the team when there was no time to spare. Bedlam

Page 111: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

105

ensued. From now on I would assiduously follow the project plan and insist that a step be completed, not partially completed, at the time it is scheduled in the sequence where it is needed. Not later. No ―I‘ll get back to that later‖ excuses. Dependencies had to be respected. My team had to finish each step. Completely.

I would validate every task I possibly could by personal inspection. I couldn‘t read and experience everything, but I could at least sample and survey the completeness of the task. I would take nothing for granted.

I would continue to insist that the customer complete their own tasks and submit their required sign-offs before continuing on the next steps. It would never be forgotten that a project is a collaboration, and that demanding sign-offs would never let that reality stray from the customer‘s mind. Best Bargain had to stay focused, too.

If Best Bargain refused a sign off, I would be prepared to stop everything. I would resolve the issue through informed, rational discussion, but at some point do nothing more until they decided to sign off. Patient resolve would get the project restarted. I as the project manager was assigned the responsibility of running the project; I had to run it, not the team, and not the customer.

Best Bargain needed to have written documentation in order to complete their tasks. Verbal training alone was woefully insufficient. I would insist on giving Alex and Donald all the documentation available, create what was absent, and make sure it was used as a reference. Best Bargain had to learn how to help themselves.

Best Bargain was going to receive effective training—the kind that offers sufficient repetitions to master the system‘s features. It would take the time it took. Short cutting training was self-delusion, and I wouldn‘t let that happen. I knew that the go-live would not go well unless the department heads were expert and their staff trained.

The training database with all solutions and required features would be fully functional before training began. No exceptions, unless agreed to by the customer.

I resolved to live by the maxim that the standards you set are the standards you get.

I would accept that slower is often faster, and never be hurried. My new resolve would become clear when I began holding daily

status meetings, an international conference call with India, U.S. members of the team, and Alex or Donald as the customer‘s representative. I would display the project plan on a shared screen for all to see and review our progress—line by line.

Page 112: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

106

I was willing to completely expose our efforts to the customer as a way of enforcing our professional integrity and responsibility. The team members had to feel what accountability was.

We had to make progress if I was ever to sleep soundly again. I prefer to plan my calls ahead of time, kind of running through a

script in my mind beforehand. The more difficult the call, the longer I take. If I took too long though, I might not make the call at all—push it off until later. Which often ends up being too late or never. Things only get worse when I do that. This time I gave up on planning the call and just dialed Gregg. Going to let it flow naturally.

―Gregg, this whole project has gotten out of hand. Donald and Alex are very angry.‖

―Oh, yeah.‖ ―You‘ve heard the saying, I‘m sure. The cover up is worse than

the crime?‖ ―Who‘s committed a crime here, Richard?‖ ―What do you call it when you walk off with somebody‘s money,

but don‘t give them what they paid for?‖ ―Haven‘t we been over this? What are you saying now?‖ ―I‘m saying we can‘t start testing until the Tracer solution is

installed. Alex paid for those licenses, and he still doesn‘t have them. No licenses, no install.‖

―You‘re sure Tracer won‘t install their solution if we promise them payment by the end of the month?‖

―Or I could tell them the check is in the mail,‖ I said. I gave my office chair a little kick and spun a complete three-sixty. A symbolic gesture I guess. Going in circles like this.

―Look, I don‘t know when they‘ll get paid,‖ Gregg said. ―I know. What if we tried something drastic?‖ ―Like what?‖ ―Tell Best Bargain the truth.‖ ―And listen to them howl?‖ ―Yes, and listen to them howl.‖ ―Look, I don‘t know what to tell you. Just don‘t blow this thing

up.‖ I wondered why telling the truth was so often a discarded option.

I had found that at Triple-S it was considered just a strategy, and not an obligation. Lying, in all its forms—shading, spinning, evading, omitting, and plain deception—had lowered all our standards of accountability in the organization in an insidious way. It had become addictive the way a drug dealer lures in his victims; the first one‘s free, and it‘s easy, but the second one costs you—then you‘re hooked on it.

Page 113: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

107

Getting by for the moment had become the standard once deception had been accepted as a means. The attitude was say anything, but get this call over with. Professional methodologies were ignored as more and more effort went into the cover stories and short cuts and buying time.

The more deception was used, the more the justifying criteria expanded to include just about anything. Before long, the staff was deceiving one another, and the whole project descended into a surreal theater of the absurd where nobody could be believed. Telling the truth works very well, on the other hand, once you get used to it.

―What I‘m saying, Gregg, is that we have to reset this project and that‘s got to start with being candid with Alex and Donald.‖

―It sounds like you‘re going to make things worse to me.‖ ―How can it get worse? We‘re going to call Best Bargain the day

after tomorrow and have that conversation. Be thinking about it. I‘ll call you before we place the call.‖

Page 114: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

108

Chapter 30 The Garden Party

The head waiter had a pencil mustache that Lucky thought the guy might have painted on. The lean, tuxedoed man stood on a large marble poolside platform beneath the dozen or so marble steps that led up to Charles Silverstruk‘s massive patio. Also marble. The head butler had rung his tiny brass bell signaling all the waiters to assemble before him.

―Line up on the steps everyone,‖ Peter, pronounced ‗Petah‘, said while he was flapping his arms like a flamingo trying to organize the pre-flight meeting. Eventually eleven men and eleven women, men in white coats, women in black dresses, all with collars cinched up to their necks preventing the escape of proletariat cooties, arranged themselves in choir fashion on the steps looking down on the maestro. He spoke in a nasal voice as high pitched as his attitude, informing the group of the protocols to be observed in serving Mr. Charles Silverstruk‘s guests at the night‘s garden party. He pronounces Charles Silverstruk‘s name like a king‘s title, elongated vowels—dragging out the name, holding the notes in priestly fashion.

Oh, screw you, Lucky thought. The pretense was revolting. It didn‘t help Lucky‘s attitude that his waiter‘s coat was tight, the best fit he could find as he picked off the smallest arriving waiter in the employee‘s parking lot. The pants fit nicely though, and he thought he was as inconspicuous at the rest of the staff. The poor schmuck whose place he took would not wake for hours from the drug Lucky had injected in him. He was sleeping soundly under a pile of weeds in the park down the road from the estate.

―On tonight‘s hors d‘oeurve menu: Oeufs Au Plat, Beignets, Aioli Platte, Andouille de la Jeannine, and Melanzane Sott‘Olio.‖ How about the mini-dogs? Lucky mused. He‘d have to fake the names if anybody asked what was on the tray while he served. Personally, Lucky wouldn‘t eat anything he couldn‘t pronounce. Peter pontificated on all matters of etiquette and fine cuisines for twenty minutes then dismissed the staff. They were prepped. Guests would be arriving within the hour.

Page 115: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

109

Lucky estimated the gathering crowd at around two hundred. Morristown‘s elite. Lucky heard referrals to ―our state senator‖ and to ―the CEO of‖ throughout the early evening. It was an all silk or imported cotton crowd, the women adorned with a touch of Cleopatra‘s flair for jewelry. The men smoked cigars, Cuban, Lucky guessed, from Castro‘s private humidors they would likely tell you. The guests either stood around or sat in the deck chairs and chaise lounges surrounding Silverstruk‘s large swimming pool. How large was it?, Lucky wondered. He would have guessed Olympic-sized, but the gangsters in the crowd might have estimated room enough for several dozen dead bodies.

Charles Silverstruk didn‘t wander through the guests like many hosts do; they came to him. He positioned himself at the far end of the pool whose length extended perpendicularly to his stone mansion that perched on the rise at the other end. Guests greeted Charles like the resident royalty, and he nodded back, smiling gracefully, never emitting a vulgar laugh. He was regally composed. Lucky thought this was the perfect scenario to dethrone Mr. Charles Silverstruk—in front of his adoring flock.

As darkness consumed the perimeters of the party grounds, Lucky sauntered away, and walked through the living room, out the front door and carefully crept around to the wrought iron fence that ran the entire circumference of the five acres of his backyard. He had perfect line of sight to King Charles from where he stood, 75 yards away Lucky estimated. He sited him through a small gap between two junipers planted just inside the gate and meant to provide privacy, which they did—for Lucky.

To say the expression on the man‘s face was ―priceless‖ was to understate the matter, but words could not suffice. Lucky had anticipated that and had recorded a video of the event with his most recently customized, video equipped slingshot. He captured the moments of the attack, including a close up view of Silverstruk‘s scotch glass exploding in his hands and the red paint splattering his face and white silk shirt.

Charles was stunned, not really sure what had happened, but soon calculated that the red paint Lucky‘s special paintball ammo carried was his own blood. He rapidly became alarmed, and Lucky could hear him begin to emit a low moan that grew in volume by the second. That was Lucky‘s plan. To disorient him, to scare him. To let him know he was not untouchable.

The guests were confused. There had been no shot fired, not one that anyone heard. Even with a gun silencer, it would have made quite a pop. For the first few moments people close to Charles stared speechlessly at one another. The remainder of the crowd was oblivious to the action. That was the beauty of it, the stealth.

Page 116: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

110

And then, Charles embarrassed himself beyond redemption, and began howling louder and louder like a branded calf. Now everyone turned to look at him, gawking at him. Lucky supposed Charles would never get over it.

Lucky turned and calmly walked away to his car that was safely camouflaged in the park. He had plenty of time, it would take Charles‘ security staff a few minutes to collect themselves and decide to look around—for what, they wouldn‘t know. He had a hundred yard start on them at least, more than enough to make up for his slow-footedness.

As Lucky drove away, he saw in his rear view mirror a few frantic men in flowered shirts fanning out around the grounds in front of the mansion.

―Did you kill him?‖ I asked, barely able to restrain myself until we

found our seats at the Acorn Coffee Bar. Lucky had recited the whole story of the garden party. I had let him speak without interruption as we drove, eager to hear the ending. The climax, however, occurred simultaneously with our arrival at the order counter where we could not risk anyone overhearing the incriminating culmination.

We found a table away from the order counter and sat down. ―Remember, we don‘t use the ―K‖ word, do we Richard?‖ Lucky said.

―All right, all right, but you didn‘t take a second shot. He‘s alive, right?‖

―He is alive, unless he died of embarrassment later on. We will hope that the experience will keep Charles Silverstruk at bay. Maybe it will silence him altogether.‖

―But he won‘t know it was me—or you, I mean, acting for me. He won‘t know who to be afraid of.‖

―Possibly. I don‘t know how many Mr. Silverstruk might be threatening at the moment. If you‘re his only concern presently, I think he might put it together.‖

Surely he would, I thought. But in just a few moments, the euphoria evaporated. It was a hopeful prognostication I wanted to believe. But we couldn‘t be sure about it. I would still have to measure my well being day by day.

Page 117: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

111

Chapter 31 Chariots of the Gods

I awoke at 5 a.m. from a restless night‘s sporadic sleep and walked groggily to the kitchen. The cold, black dregs of yesterday‘s coffee sat in the pot, a foreboding dark pool, shiny as hard coal. I needed coffee now. I poured a cup and added a heavy dose of cream. The coffee remained belligerent black. I added more cream. Still no change. I heated the sludge in the microwave, waited for the beeps, then withdrew the steaming cup. It smelled toxic, but I sipped it anyway and carried the cup back to my desk, turned the computer on and began waiting the few minutes it took to boot. I leaned back in my office chair, began tossing post-it notes at the waste basket while pondering the developing schism between Gregg and myself.

I tossed the first two notes into the wastebasket without touching the rim, perfect shots. Maybe it was a good omen. I wanted to believe anything now but the present realities. I thought Gregg was hanging on to the devils he knew. He was certain that change would be the end of this project—or him.

How such oversized fears take hold is a marvel, but not new, of course. Wasn‘t it a matter of historical record how countless fearful superstitions have developed over the unknown outcomes of our actions. From superstitions came predictions, which in turn became folklore, then religious proclamations no one has ever validated. I was competing with fear, the super-glue of mankind‘s emotions. It set in fast and bonded strong.

My desktop displayed, and I clicked on the public radio icon on my computer screen just to hear something distracting for a while. Today‘s morning show: Chariots of the Gods. How ordinary men become divine authorities. This sounded good. I could use divine powers, too. Maybe I‘d learn something.

The narrator began with a short summary of a recent news item—the discovery of a lost pilot who had spent twenty years in the jungle. She says:

A piper cub lands in the middle of an Amazonian stone age tribe,

hidden for millennia under the canopy of dense jungle. The plane

Page 118: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

112

strikes with the flaming force only a god could produce. And then a

dazed pilot, blonde and blue-eyed, emerges from the cockpit to

find a tribe of amazed, bone-pierced faces greeting him. He is

declared a god and worshipped for years to come. They fear him.

He rules with impunity. In his twenty years as their god, he

produces twenty-seven children with nine wives.

The reporter ponders how easy it is for such power to be ensconced in a mere mortal. It‘s not unusual she says and tell us of another recent discovery only a few weeks ago. In Utah. She speaks again:

From the small mountain village of Picoville, Utah, this story

emerges when a runaway woman flags down a state trooper. She

pleads for protection from a domineering cult leader who has

demanded absolute obedience from his followers. She is one of

many concubines held there. Among her accounts of predictable

forms of abuse, she reveals that the members of a church group

known by its acronym, the LDFQ, has relinquished ownership of

all their homes to the church at their leader‘s command. No one

owns anything but him.

To add to their distress, the women have been shuffled around

between homes at their leader‘s whim, assuming the role of wife to

whomever headed their current household. Every aspect of their

lives is ordered by their great leader.

How did he gain such leverage over their beliefs? By many means,

of course, but the principle means he used was to predict the

imminent end of the world, and to compel his followers‘ obedience

in their preparations for their salvation—in ways only he could

prescribe. To keep the members in line, he repeated his prediction

of imminent doom, over and over, always predicting that the

world‘s demise was but six months away.

He has predicted the end every six months for nine consecutive

years. And it had worked. They all were too fearful to break away.

The segment segued to the next with several bars of dramatic music.

Page 119: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

113

Members had thought, the woman tells us, that in the face of

doom, why hang on to your house? It was all but over, wasn‘t it?

And the lord needed their property. Each announcement of

impending doom harvested more property titles until the leader

had them all. Such was the power in his fearful warnings, no

matter how ludicrous.

As I listened I thought some might presume these followers were particularly susceptible to fear mongering, but I found it to be commonplace. As it was commonplace at Triple-S and in Gregg‘s mind, revealing the truth would bring the end to our project, in his view. He wouldn‘t dare be totally candid with Best Bargain. Fear had him in a grip.

Still I wondered how Gregg had become so certain of the tragic consequences of a reasonable option? Was it the fear of the unknown like the shocked tribe surrounding the gods‘ fallen plane or those people who sank under the hopeless forecast of a charismatic leader? Or was it the same way a coincidental fatality persuaded people to avoid eating tomatoes for centuries. One bad experience, real or imagined, captured their minds. Likewise, Gregg may have tried the straightforward approach a time or two without getting the desired results. And quit on it. Maybe made a commandment against it.

Or maybe it had taken hold of Gregg through the steady practice of expedient deception in place of truth telling, and this had created a folklore in his own mind that deception was a best practice. Not because he had experimented with each and confirmed his belief, but because he had not ever experimented using candor and had no idea how he could work that way. Perhaps, he feared that too much to try it. Fear is such an insidious factor.

My wastebasket was half full of post-it notes when Vincent rang on Skype.

―Richard, I just got off the phone with a very unhappy man. Gregg thinks you‘re presenting a growing problem.‖

―Well, we did just conclude a not so chummy conversation yesterday.‖

―To put it mildly.‖ ―How many good excuses are there for hiding information from

those who rightfully have the need to know?‖ ―None, to be precise. The purpose of my call is only to let you

know that Gregg is straying, looking for allies against you. Be aware.‖ ―Yes, well, be aware of this, Vincent. It‘s probably going to get

worse.‖ I opened my word processor and began to outline my new

approach to this project. I‘d run it by Gregg before we called Best

Page 120: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

114

Bargain, and develop all the agreement I could in the time allowed. Nonetheless, things were going to change.

Page 121: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

115

Chapter 32 Coming Clean

The landline phone rang while I was chatting online with Paul. Caller ID showed it was Best Bargain. Paul and I were discussing how to get the bin labels printed in the absence of a print function in our warehouse management system. Before I could reach for the landline, Gregg rang on the Skype phone. I cancelled Gregg‘s call, text messaged Paul to hold on, and picked up the landline.

―Richard, Donald here. I‘m here with Alex and we want to know where the test environment is? It‘s way past due. What is going on?‖

He got right to the point, and I suddenly felt trapped by my own determination to stop masking our missteps. My throat constricted uncontrollably. Thoughts of retreat ran through my mind. Perhaps I could wait another day to confront Best Bargain with the facts. The funds might arrive after all—tomorrow. But I knew it had to be done and now. And I had to face down my fear and say it. The words escaped my dry mouth in a subdued monotone.

―We haven‘t purchased the licenses from Tracer. We have to have the licenses in place before they will move forward with us.‖

I told him half the truth to begin with, not by strategy. It was simply all I could muster the courage to do. Charles Silverstruk had a point. Maybe cowardice was at the center of my problem. I had been avoiding confrontation.

Alex jumped in. ―Why don‘t I have my licenses? We gave you ninety thousand

dollars to start this project.‖ Now the other half of the truth had come due just that fast. ―It‘s a cash flow issue.‖ ―Cash flow! What did you do with our money?‖ ―It was deposited, like all our revenue.‖ ―And you spent it on something else and didn‘t pay for our

licenses?‖ ―The funds weren‘t contractually earmarked for those licenses,

but I do understand how you feel about this.‖ We had little to stand on, but it was fair to balance the scenario with the Triple-S perspective, too.

Page 122: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

116

―Yeah, you screwed us. That‘s what I understand.‖ Donald said, ―Alex, I think it‘s time to get our lawyers involved.‖ That was all this project needed to bring it to a complete

standstill. Donald‘s suggestion was reckless—if he ever wanted this thing to get finished.

―Alex?‖ Someone called to Alex in his office. ―Hold on—,‖ The line went silent for a few moments before Alex

returned. ―Richard, you and Donald finish this up. I‘ve got to go. But Donald is right. I‘ll be putting a call into our lawyer.‖

Donald continued, ―So Richard, what is the deal?‖ ―Donald, all companies have ebbs and flows to their business.

Triple-S is currently in a valley, and the timing is terrible. We will get the licenses, but for now we will continue to progress on the remainder of the project. We are not at a standstill.‖

―Tell you what, I think you should call Gregg and tell him he better get this straightened out.‖

―Be assured of this, Triple-S will have tested the solution and Best Bargain will have personally tested the solution before go-live. It will be a working system that fulfills the promise of the blueprint you signed.‖

―But not by May 1.‖ ―No, not by May 1.‖ I could have forecast this conversation the day I took on the

project, and most certainly could have said so when they signed off on the blueprint. I had withheld this truth because of the pile up of early embarrassments—the delay in delivering the first project plan, our inability to print the bin labels, the almost certain prospect of delays because we couldn‘t pay Tracer.

Poor execution, poor methodology, insincere promises—they all worked to draw me into hiding the facts from Best Bargain just like the rest of our company. It had become a way of life at Triple-S, and breaking out of the pattern of deception and excuse making is a painful transition.

―All I can say is Alex is not going to settle for this,‖ Donald continued.

―I understand. Can we set up a time sometime today when we can finish our discussion?‖

―He‘ll be back tomorrow. Let‘s talk at three.‖ No one said telling the truth was a walk in the park. The facts

were all out now. We hadn‘t violated the letter of the agreement, but we certainly violated their expectations because we had not managed those expectations. Had I been Alex or Donald, I would have felt much the same way about it. Alex and Donald didn‘t know all there was to know about purchasing and implementing an ERP. They were expecting

Page 123: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

117

professional guidance, and they didn‘t get the full measure of that as they should have—not from us.

My greatest concern now was how Mr. Charles Silverstruk would take it. I could almost feel a hand on my throat.

I called Gregg back to let him hear the news. ―You told them?‖ Gregg said in a tone of disbelief. ―Yes, I told them.‖ ―How did they take it?‖ ―Alex threatened to call his lawyer. We have a conference call at

three tomorrow afternoon. They want to hear how we‘re going to straighten this out.‖

―I told you I don‘t know when we‘ll have the money. What am I supposed to say?‖

―Maybe you could just make something up.‖ ―Cute. Are we all better off now that you told him?‖ Gregg is

raising his voice now. ―You know, sometimes you have to know how to dodge the question.‖

―I‘m not doing that. This lying keeps us in the rut were in.‖ ―I don‘t like calling this lying. No one has lied to them.‖ Gregg is

growling at me. ―We‘re innocent on a technicality only, Gregg. Best Bargain has

the legitimate need to know these things. And we‘re deliberately hiding the facts.‖

―You‘re going to wreck us. Hell, we may never get paid. They‘re going to fire us.‖

―Should we drop all pretenses and just rob them at gunpoint?‖ ―Damn it, man. You just can‘t face reality, can you? Now they‘re

going to think I‘m a complete asshole, thank you very much.‖ ―Better think of something useful to tell them before our call,

Gregg.‖ Gregg had played out several reasons against my decision to tell

the truth. Did telling the truth accomplish anything useful? Didn‘t I humiliate the company by telling? And lastly, was I disloyal to Gregg himself?

Loyalty must be the most abused virtue of all. How often is it posed as the counterpoint to telling the truth? Was I obliged to be loyal to my company and Gregg and continue the cover up? Was I to lie in their behalf?

Lying had always been a complex subject, in my view. Everyone lied from time to time given the broadest definition of lying. We accept white lies. We know lying is not always wrong—in defense of yourself and family, for example. But when is it wrong? Or is lying just a natural part of commerce?

Page 124: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

118

I believed when the other party has a justifiable need to know the facts in a given context where candor is rightfully expected, the speaker was obliged to tell the truth. I believed only a sociopath could avoid that conclusion—especially in a commercial setting. Who wants to be misled?

I didn‘t think Gregg saw the many corrosive effects of lying. Who trusts a liar, even though he ―only lies to others‖ outside his inner circle? His powers of influence are diminished. How can anyone ever trust what he had to say?

If our entire company participated in such deceptions, then was there any trust left among the group? How could this group avoid sinking into a melee of survivalism, everyone promising a contribution while grabbing for the last life jacket? The situation where lying might be accepted, even in some utilitarian calculation of favorable outcomes, becomes impossibly blurred.

I recalled a lecture by my college psychology professor, Dr. Fletcher, which revealed the collective vulnerability of the class when he challenged us to participate by secret ballot in a moral debate he proposed. He posed a problem, then we marked our answers to his queries and submitted them in successive votes as he embellished the story with new details in new versions of the story that made us rethink our answers. He asked us what we would do in certain situations.

He asked us to consider being the sole witness to a hit and run accident. You get a good look at the driver. He was a stranger to us all, he said, a rather rough looking fellow, unshaven, wearing a greasy ball cap, his face darkened by soot or by sinister intentions, we couldn‘t tell. He blasts through a school crossing light, the kind that only operated at certain times of the day. It was easy to miss it. A young girl in the cross walk is hit by his car and pitched high into the air. She lands hard on the turf on the side of the road. She lies immobile. Not a sound coming from her when you reach her side.

A policeman has arrived at your door a day later and asks what you saw. You can describe the car, and the moment of impact. You held the little girl‘s limp hand at the scene while waiting for the ambulance. You tell him you saw the driver clearly. You tell the officer you could identify the driver in a lineup and would be glad to do so if called upon. You support justice. The driver must be held responsible.

Dr. Fletcher asked if we would be willing to offer such assistance to the police officer. We submitted our ballots. I assumed we all had affirmed we would eagerly cooperate. A student tallied the ballots and confirmed my speculation. One hundred percent offered their unreserved assistance.

―Now,‖ said the professor, prowling the speaker‘s platform—he is puffing on a pipe like a Scotland Yard detective—―let us imagine a second

Page 125: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

119

scenario with all facts the same except the identity of the driver. Imagine you knew the driver to be your best friend of a lifetime. It was the fellow or woman you had double-dated with, whom you shared starting positions on your high school basketball team, whom you still invite for backyard bar-b-cue‘s. He‘s president of a small company in town. Would you be as readily eager to identify the driver in this circumstance? Or would you begin to consider mitigating factors? Had the victim a) suffered superficial cuts only, or b) been reported to be in serious but stable condition, or c) been killed. Would any of these instances cause you to avoid identifying your lifelong friend?‖

We voted again. The tally showed that many agreed that the friend status and the particulars of the injury would affect their willingness to identify the driver. Some would, some would not.

Hearing the results, Dr. Fletcher smiled slyly at his students, and continued with another wrinkle. ―But what if the victim was your dear neighbor‘s child? A child whom you had seen grow up since birth. You had held that infant in your own arms. Played catch together in your backyard. This time you know the child to be in critical condition. Then what would you do?‖

The calculations became perplexing. And upon collecting the final votes the tally showed that not all had even voted. Some were stymied. What to do?

After a tortuous discussion, a frail majority painfully concluded that holding to a standard of truthfulness was the only antidote to such tortuous inner-conflict. One must identify the driver in all cases, and let the system render the justice it would find appropriate. A principled approach was the only way to rise above loyalties and naked self interest.

Now, years later, I was finding this was equally hard to do in a company environment that had marginalized its integrity. I didn‘t want to be accused of preaching, being the one who advised against the delusions of deception. I was more certain than ever that the only effective way to combat this corrosive atmosphere was to insist on working within a methodology, an acceptable philosophy in business circles, and the only secular way to ―keep everyone honest.‖ This was the risk I had to take.

It was now imperative that I think of something to say to Alex and Donald before Charles Silverstruk heard the news of the delay. I just might have tripped the trigger on my own demise.

Page 126: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

120

Chapter 33 Resetting

I‘d be calling Best Bargain in about an hour. It was time to get Gregg on the phone and go over the strategy. I grabbed my notes on the new approach to the project and a notepad and set it atop a pile of other papers on my desk. I called Gregg.

We began discussing how we could go about resetting the project and get our efforts focused again. Gregg‘s voice revealed his tension, and I supposed mine did too. Our collaboration was necessary, however, no matter the political turbulence between us. He comments were limited at first, but as the conversation warmed up, he began to cooperate. By the end of the call, we had agreed on the basic approach and placed the call.

Alex came on the line and began on the attack. ―The problem here is you told us we could go live by May 1, before our busy season begins, and now you‘re changing the story because you took our money and squandered it on other things. You‘ve cheated us.‖

―That was not our plan, Alex. Please believe me, I‘m not happy about this circumstance either,‖ Gregg said.

―Don‘t tell me I don‘t remember what you promised. You said May 1.‖

―Alex, I never promise a go-live date to anyone. It can‘t be promised. There are too many wild cards.‖

―Yes you did, and I also know you took ninety grand of my money and now you can‘t deliver.‖ Alex was getting loud.

This I saw was the price Gregg and Triple-S had to pay for starting off this sale and this project without regard for a sales or a project methodology in mind. Gregg made three important mistakes he was paying for. He biggest was including in the proposal the intoxicating and illusory promise to ―try‖ to go live by May 1 which set the stage for a ‗we said, you said‘ argument—totally mismanaging customer expectations.

A clearly stated list of risks was not part of the proposal process so when things went wrong they were entirely unexpected. No risk assessment had been presented. Again, he mismanaged customer expectations.

Page 127: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

121

And lastly, he failed to insure that the initial funds collected from Best Bargain were used to buy the necessary licenses as they would naturally expect. Purchasing the licenses was a de facto line-item step in the project plan that was ignored. Gregg placed a bad bet on this one, hoping the company‘s cash flow would magically take care of the matter, but I lost the chips being the one who suffered repeated tongue lashings over it.

I took a stab at presenting reality. ―Alex, it‘s my recommendation that we do a candid assessment of where we are on May 15. If we agree we‘re ready, we‘ll go live in June. We‘re not going to make May 1, and we just can‘t kid ourselves. We‘ll continue to apply the resources we have on the project full-time, doing everything we can to make a June go-live, but that‘s something that can‘t be promised.‖

―When do I get a promise?‖ ―Alex, there‘s simply too much complexity in this project to be

making empty promises. We‘ll be holding daily status meetings, with you and Donald in attendance. You‘ll be fully aware of everything as it progresses.‖

―I suppose that‘s what we have to do, since we now know you can‘t handle this any better. I‘m not sure you can handle it all. So, okay, May 15. We‘ll see what you‘ve accomplished.‖

The conversation was ugly, but I had succeeded in moving them toward reality. Project manager can be a lonely position. At this point I had upset the fragile balance achieved by deceptions and self deceptions on all sides. In doing so I had created a multi-party conflict, like a civil war with shifting alliances focused on one another in varying partnerships with Alex and Gregg and Charles Silverstruk having one common enemy—me.

The temperature outside has risen, much like my hopes. I stepped out onto the patio and took a deep breath. Breathing is underestimated. It can bring peace as well as life. I tilted my head it as far backwards as I could then slowly rolled it around, letting my neck muscles stretch. My neck popped loud enough to hear. A few steps away some small birds inspected the ground for food, pecking around, in need of some good news like me. Maybe Gregg would provide some. I pulled out my cellphone and called Gregg to get his reaction.

―How do you think it went, Gregg?‖ ―Better than I thought it would. Maybe it will work, but we still

have to be careful what we say.‖ ―I see this as a real change of direction in how we approach

projects. It‘s more open, and I don‘t see that hurting. Just the opposite.‖ ―Maybe so. Maybe so. We‘ll see.‖

Page 128: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

122

I found Gregg‘s reaction a hopeful sign. I sensed that his fears were weakening and his faith in my project management was starting to take hold. It was much needed bright spot in the litany of difficulties I had faced.

Page 129: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

123

Chapter 34 Daily Status Meetings

Alex and Donald had decided to move forward, ruling out legal remedies for the time being, and I promised them a better perspective of our efforts by inviting them both to attend what would now be daily status meetings. Gregg had bristled at the idea, Paul, too. They thought we would expose our weaknesses in the discussions. Alex and Donald might become even more suspicious, even panicked, of what they heard. I feared that, too. But Charles Silverstruk gave me more concern than either Gregg or Paul would ever know—unless it came out in the autopsy.

The status quo was unsustainable. Triple-S had to bring itself to account for its actions, and the exposure to a hostile customer was just the elixir they needed. I began the daily status meetings the very next day using a web-based conferencing service. We had five weeks to get the system ready for go-live.

I intended to include anyone who was needed to completely review our status. I invited Gregg; Sri-the software development executive; Neeraj-the project manager for the home office team; Navender-the special features software development team leader; Vishal-the vice-president of global implementation; Paul; Alex; Donald and myself. Once each was logged in, I displayed the current project plan fully expanded on the screen for all to see.

Everyone could see each task, the assigned resources, the completion status, the start date and the desired completion date. With a click I could display a notes page that logged supporting information to the task such as explanations of certain difficulties or options to consider. My purpose was to immerse all the team members in the management perspective of a project plan, and to confront them with the document everyday so they might come to understand that they had to live by the project plan.

I began the review by setting expectations. ―Gentleman, we will be holding a status meeting every day until

this project has gone live. On the day of go-live and for five days afterwards, the entire team will be on call to support the system. Paul and I will be on site for that same period.

Page 130: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

124

―Today I will cover each incomplete task, those that should have been started by today‘s date. Every newly emerging action item will be entered in the project plan. I‘ll be putting comments in the notes page for clarifying purposes. Of course, be sure to note those items assigned to yourself.

―Please be candid when asked when a task or action item will be done. These are not casual dates. They are expected completion dates. If they are not done as indicated, please be prepared to explain why they are not.

―To make this kind of call productive, let‘s have only one speaker at a time. I‘ll be calling on you to comment on your respective tasks. For the others, please speak up if you have something to add to the current topic, but let me acknowledge you before you expand on your comment. With more than one talking at a time, no one can make out anything.

―I‘m going to ask that you please stay on topic and be concise. That is, please don‘t repeat your point. Let‘s keep the meeting as short as possible.

―Joining us today and everyday are Donald Moore and Alex Silverstruk. They will be participating in the plan review.‖

For the first several days, I briefly repeated the expectations until it appeared that all the participants had accepted the rules of the call. New habits take time and repetition to take hold.

The second day presented the first opportunity to define what ―done‖ meant. I called on Paul.

―Please tell us about the chart of accounts.‖ ―It‘s done,‖ Paul said. ―I‘ve got the chart and I will be sending it

to Navender for uploading by the end of the week.‖ ―You mean, this coming Friday, the fourteenth?‖ ―Yes, Friday.‖ ―Why wait? The chart of accounts is already overdue by two

weeks.‖ ―Barry has a couple more changes to make.‖ ―Then, Paul, let me comment on this for a moment, and please

don‘t take offense. What you‘re saying is the chart of accounts is not done. It‘s important for all of us to be clear about things like this. Done means it‘s complete with nothing left to do.‖

―Yes, sure, but these are small things,‖ Paul said. ―That may be, but I just want to say that we all tend to fool

ourselves into thinking we‘ve made real progress when we report something as done, when it‘s not. It‘s central to being accountable to be precise about this.

―This particular task, Paul, has gotten out of hand. We all know that this task has to be done before anything else can be loaded in the

Page 131: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

125

database, and it‘s still not done. I‘m going to ask you, Donald, to set up a conference call with Barry, ASAP, today preferably. He needs to be pushed, and he‘s your guy. When do you think you can you set the call for, Donald?‖

―I'll try to set it for today,‖ Donald responded. I entered Donald‘s action item in the project plan as an action

step, due date—today. In tomorrow‘s call, I‘d confirm with him that this was done. This was a fortunate thing, to have Donald feel the accountability we all felt, being a part of the team on the field.

I was finding that only the project manager could police the project plan with authority. The consultants were simply too close to the client to be insistent. Where progress was bogging down, I had to step in and press for action. I could never depend on the consultant to be the heavy. And it was misguided to blame them when the client was negligent.

I ended by asking for any critical input that we had not covered. I wanted to hear of anything that might affect the timeline—unplanned absences, conflicting demands, anything that might call for adjustments. Hearing nothing I clicked the End Call button on my screen and watched the conference call application shut down.

The exposure to Alex and Donald was uncomfortable. The review revealed that of the four custom software developments, none were near completion—victims of diverted resources, the Tracer integration was not started—in limbo with the pending licenses, the chart of accounts was unfinished and consequently the Giant database remained blank, unprepared for formal testing or training. The number of steps in the project task list still undone was bewildering and heightened my anxieties. Was there any hope at all I could get this done in time? Who knew? I could only stay on it and steer it with a better hand going forward. Nonetheless, the model had been set for the balance of daily status meetings I would conduct. I could only hope that the inoculation would take hold quickly.

Page 132: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

126

Chapter 35 A Lesson in Fencing

Bringing Triple-S into alignment with professional methodologies had been an arduous process. It was difficult for the team to adjust—like learning a proper golf swing after hacking away at the ball for many years without lessons. The new practice felt unnatural and progress was a series of two steps forward then one or two steps backwards.

Getting a straight answer was like getting a politician to use the words ‗yes‘ or ‗no.‘ Had our status calls been held in a court of law, we might have worn out the fifth amendment such was the abhorrence of perceived self-indictment. I had to repeatedly interrupt speakers to draw them back to the question as asked. Is it finished or not finished? A response to this question sounded like a plea bargain with all the accompanying obfuscations of a grifter.

It was time consuming, but I estimated no more time consuming than our normal practice, which required a never ending series of support calls after the go-live. On more than one occasion, our ad hoc approach resulted in our solution being shut down permanently and taken off-line after the customer blew a gasket in frustration.

Despite all that, we were making progress. Three of our custom software developments were ready for final testing, and Tracer‘s licenses were soon to be purchased, though there remained the tricky integration with the Giant ERP following that.

Vishal was ringing me on Skype. He began with this news: ―The charges for the Best Bargain project are adding up too fast. We‘re breaking the budget.‖

―You‘re referring to the budget estimate Gregg made, I‘m sure.‖ ―Yes, this is what Best Bargain was presented and expects.‖ ―Vishal, say a guy buys a pair of shoes. He takes them home and

finds one heel is shorter than the other. What‘s he going to do about it?‖ ―Take them back.‖ ―And so goes back to the store, puts on the shoes and to

demonstrate the issue starts hobbling around in front of the salesman. Now the salesman, what‘s he supposed to say, ‗what limp?‘ ‖

Page 133: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

127

―Don‘t be silly, Richard. We have a serious problem here.‖ ―You tell me then. How do I deliver less than what we sold

them?‖ ―You have to do it with fewer resources than you‘re using.‖ ―That‘s not an answer. That‘s self delusion. The project is a time

and materials contract. Why can‘t we justify our bill?‖ Vishal was stumped and paused to patch Gregg into the call. He

caught him up on the discussion and we began again. Gregg said, ―Richard, we could maybe exceed the estimate by five

percent or so, but I agree we can‘t smash the projection.‖ ―The dilemma here is delivering the solution we‘ve promised and

meeting their financial expectations, Gregg. Our problem is we don‘t really know how to estimate a project properly because we‘ve never done one properly. I‘ll remind us all that we have thirty some open projects. Isn‘t it time we started doing things properly, get a handle on what it takes, so our future won‘t be more and more of this chaos?‖

―But we have to get a payment.‖ ―So see that the invoices are explained well and advise Alex where

we‘re headed. Don‘t wait and surprise them. I hope we‘re billing them monthly like the proposal says.‖

Vishal interjected, ―We can‘t invoice so frequently. It‘s impossible.‖

―Then we‘ve failed to do what we said we would do, again. We‘re not going to be profitable until we work coherently, that means billing the way we said we would, and demand the payments we‘ve earned. Where is this not logical?‖

Vishal said, ―You had four people scheduled for the go-live training last time. We can‘t fit that many people in the budget.‖

―Best Bargain cannot be trained sufficiently for go-live without the training the way I scheduled it. You gotta remember, there are three separate software solutions involved,‖ I said.

―Sir, I appreciate your professional concerns, but it all comes down to that ugly matter of money, doesn‘t it?‖

―I think we know that very well. Should we short them on training and throw them into the system unprepared?‖

―We have to deal with the reality of the estimate. We‘ll never collect the money if we overbill.‖

Unfortunately, it was not unexpected that we might not collect all that was invoiced. It was happening every time.

―Look, guys. An estimate is not reality, it‘s guessing. Treat it for what it is. You see what I mean, Gregg?‖ Gregg didn‘t answer. I can hear him typing on his keyboard. ―Gregg?‖

―Sorry. What did you say?‖ Gregg multitasking again.

Page 134: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

128

―I said an estimate is a guess, and we should not let Alex think otherwise.‖

―Alex thinks it‘s more than a guess. We just cannot come in too far over the estimate.‖

―You have to deal with it, Gregg. I can‘t cut training down.‖ I heard a phone ringing the background somewhere.

Gregg excused himself to take another call at that moment, and left us waiting for too long. Vishal and I ended the call with my last stand hanging in the air. I wasn‘t looking to get their agreement now. I was moving ahead with what had to be done.

I felt the isolation closing in on me. Gregg had sided with Vishal, and the fault lines were growing. It seemed clearer as the days wore on, that it might be just a matter of time and chance that would determine who would be the one to bring an end to my job, or me—my employer or Charles Silverstruk.

I was holding a large can of peanuts in my hand when my pocket

started buzzing. I fished out my cellphone and flipped it open. The time read six o‘clock. It was Vincent‘s caller ID. That made it after midnight in London. Something was keeping Vincent up, and this was probably not going to be good news. I pressed the Talk button.

―Well, Richard, I just rang off with Gregg. He‘s at full boil.‖ ―He‘s panicked. Worried about getting paid. He thinks I‘m being

too honest with Alex and Donald.‖ An irritated shopper cleared her throat behind me. I‘m in the

way. I pushed my cart toward a quiet corner in the liquor section. I‘d probably want to pick up something there after this call anyway.

―Getting the money is important.‖ ―Yeah. And I‘ve often wondered if delivering what you sold has

anything to do with it.‖ ―He wants to talk with Rajan about this.‖ So this is a two-bottle

call, I thought. I started surveying the wine aisle for sale items. ―There‘s always some fool who drops the grenade in his own

foxhole. You‘ve got to talk him down,‖ I said. ―Don‘t think that‘s likely to do any good, frankly. He‘s in full

survival mode. I suspect his troubles at home are keeping him up nights. Just be forewarned, Richard.‖

And with that he truncated the call citing more urgent matters he had to attend to. Lunch at 10 Downing, perhaps. My sense was that Vincent was leaning towards the Swiss position, and I was going to have to win this battle on my own. I was running out of allies. Gregg had broken down again and turned on me once more. Who could blame him, life was crushing him.

Page 135: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

129

If Gregg pressed forward for my dismissal and succeeded, that would set Charles Silverstruk into action. I could not allow myself to get fired just like Gregg couldn‘t afford to lose his job either, and it looked now like I had no friends to cover my back.

I put three bottles of California Chardonnay in my cart and headed for the checkout.

Page 136: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

130

Chapter 36 The Balance of Power

For seven consecutive status meetings Sushant reported that the testing with two of the 3PL warehouses had not yet transpired. I had tickled Donald on this every other day, reminding him via email that it was important to get the time and date set with the two errant 3PLs. Nothing had happened. For all Donald‘s complaints, he was enigmatically guilty of foot dragging when it came to some of his responsibilities.

When Sushant repeated the same status on the eighth day, I decided to have a discussion in a private call between myself, Sushant and Donald. Donald was, after all, still the customer and deserved the respect of a private conversation where I would confront his shortcoming.

I was pressuring Donald to get this done, but even he was subject to the will of others. It was good for him to experience another bit of the same frustration the rest of the team encountered. It was a reality check, and served to keep Donald and Alex‘s complaints constrained. I called Donald.

―Donald, we‘ve hit a real roadblock with these two 3PLs. What‘s the hold up?‖

―Simple lack of cooperation, I suppose. They‘ve been good to us, but they‘ve got a business to run, too.‖

That was as true for them as it was for Donald. All companies face the strain of doing business while trying to implement an ERP at the same time. That‘s just one part of why go-live dates can‘t be promised. Plans have to accommodate the realities of business, too. Donald was getting a good taste of it.

―This is going to blow the timeline, Donald.‖ Time was running out. There was no room to sugar coat the truth.

―Well, it won‘t take long once we get to it. Why should it delay things?‖

―Because Sushant is a resource who is dedicated to a number of tasks. It‘s not realistic to think he can switch between tasks as easily as turning a faucet on and off. It requires researching where he left off,

Page 137: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

131

setting up and getting his mind in synch with the task. It gets to be chaotic. And everything goes to hell, that‘s why.‖

In a perfect world, a consultant would only work on one project at a time. Ours was not a perfect world. And wasn‘t it true for all projects for any company in an internal or externally contracted project, that it was difficult to maintain the resources focus on the project? There were always competing and shifting demands on their time.

All clients and stakeholders, Best Bargain included, wanted their project to be treated as though it was the only project on the project team‘s docket. They knew that couldn‘t be so, but customers are never generous about such things. It was the retail mindset most customers bring to the purchase. When it‘s their turn at the head of the line, they wanted the cashier‘s undivided attention. It‘s a false analogy that needed to be extinguished and kept that way. Pressing on Best Bargain to respond to their collaborative responsibilities was one way to do this. I needed some serious responsibility at this point.

―This is not the only thing that‘s holding us up, you know.‖ Donald responded defensively, wanting to make sure he was not going to be singled out in front of Alex later on.

―I know that, Donald. Everything has to be accounted for, including this. I‘m sure you know what I mean.‖

I used a firm, friendly, but insistent tone—not sounding at all as homicidal as I felt. It was all too easy to let the conversation sink to repetitious quarreling over the point, but I couldn‘t concede the matter either. I judged that Donald had not missed the point and would privately consider it later. Pressing for a quick agreement could backfire and result in a quarrel where the quarrel itself would become the point of focus.

―I‘ll call them both and shake the bushes,‖ Donald conceded breezily. He made me wonder if he would.

Maintaining that balance of power and responsibility between my firm and his company was essential to managing the project in a professional manner. It couldn‘t be allowed to devolve into a game of gotcha and CYA. With only two weeks until our next go-no go meeting, everybody needed to meet their due dates if there was any chance of succeeding.

Page 138: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

132

Chapter 37 Landing on a Short Runway

About four weeks had passed since our previous attempt at going live. The intense focus of daily status meetings had produced positive results. Some things were getting done.

I decided to use my land line to hold the go:no-go conference call, knowing that Charles Silverstruk would have Sebastian monitoring the call. Candor and clarity was all I had to prevent him from punishing me unfairly. I would let him hear it all, and let him choose his next action with all the facts in hand. I invited Lucky to secretly listen in too, so he could to stay even with what Charles Silverstruk would hear—sharing intelligence fairly.

I hosted the call on May 14 with the Triple-S team alone. When all had dialed in on the conference call, I began.

―Welcome all. Today we need to evaluate the possibility of continuing on the schedule as planned. I‘ve displayed the collapsed view of the project plan showing only the major milestones and the status of each.

―You‘ll notice that a status is listed as either ―complete‖ or ―incomplete.‖ There is no in between status we can consider. We have to assume we are completely ready to demonstrate a fully functional system for user acceptance testing and final training, or we‘re not ready. What we need to achieve here is agreement on exactly where we stand. What we determine here is what we will tell Best Bargain tomorrow.

―First, you can see that the file exchange feature is not completed.‖ Sushant interrupted, wanting to make some comment. I allowed him to proceed.

―Richard, there are a few things still with the file exchange that I think could be finished in just a few days. You know that we have not finished the cross-reference table for the incoming sales orders. All of the customers who place orders this way use their own item numbers, and we don‘t yet have a complete reference table for two of the customers, but that activity is not difficult to complete once we have that information.‖

We were all aware of what he had to say having all been a part of our ongoing daily status meetings. Sushant was voicing the eternal

Page 139: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

133

optimism of the ―almost done‖ consultant persona. That voice is fueled by a hope that often tells us that a task is done, though in their mind they hold in reservation a private truth that there is still one or a few tiny, easy-to-do loose ends. Or so they believe.

That belief may hold until the moment the feature is being demonstrated when the panicked consultant finds himself spewing a stream of double-talk, excusing some unforeseen malfunction that prevents the demonstration. I was pleased to see that Sushant had progressed past his customary delusional instincts, and was telling us the whole reality of the situation. The file exchange feature was not complete.

Gregg interjected, ―I think we could assure Alex and Donald that this feature would be ready in time for go-live. It really is done. It‘s just a few minor things to complete.‖ Once again, Gregg proposed the hopeful perspective.

―Thanks, Sushant. At this point, we have to consider only where we stand at this very moment. Do we dare offer Best Bargain anything that resembles speculation? How about this? Is it possible that Alex and Donald are okay with going live without the feature?‖

Gregg responded, ―I think we could ask them. The number of transactions they run with this feature are really very few. I think it would be reasonable that they could continue with the manual method for a while longer, and keep the current go-live date.‖

Gregg had offered a reasonable point. The closer we came to the go-live decision, that crucial moment of truth, the clearer the realities and priorities became. What was truly critical could be sorted out with Best Bargain.

We continued to review each milestone in the same manner, keeping in mind that whatever the status was at this moment in time, we were too close to making a go:no go decision to bank on any last minute breakthroughs to save the day. Running a project is a lot more like marching a platoon of foot soldiers through the mud than flying a crack squadron of screaming jets in death-defying maneuvers, as some would delude themselves. I had to trust in what I could plainly see and not what heroics I might hope for. We were either ready or not ready.

We closed the conversation having determined that the file exchange feature may not be absolutely necessary and we would suggest removing it from the go-live checklist.7 Best Bargain would make the choice.

Our development team had reached the limit of possibilities in developing the warehouse management system‘s capability to

7 See Go Live Checklist in the Quick Reference section for more information.

Page 140: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

134

accommodate multiple units of measure in the order and picking process, one of the custom developments. Our proposed development and solution would require some manual processes in the warehouse to complement the development, and as such would meet the requirement—if Best Bargain could allow themselves to grasp the concept. We were at a take it or leave it point that would have to be presented diplomatically, but unambiguously.

And lastly, though the Tracer development had progressed, we had yet to see the functionality in action. They were close, but it wasn‘t done. In my judgment, of course, the task was either done or not done, and I was not in favor of gambling on its completion. If Best Bargain wanted to go live without it, that would be their choice, otherwise, we would delay until another date.

This time, sober heads prevailed, and we reached the consensus that Best Bargain would be offered the options of going-live without certain functionality, or delaying to another go:no-go decision date. Perhaps the realities of project management were sinking in. The disciplines of daily status meetings were developing a unified, realistic view of the project.

Page 141: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

135

Chapter 38 A Finger on the Trigger

May 15. The weather had turned warm, and a gentle breeze slinked into my living room through the open patio doors, found its way around the computer monitor and reminded my tense face of nature‘s gentle side. It was the day we would decide whether to proceed with the user acceptance testing and training at Best Bargain.

I had run end-to-end transactions for sales and purchasing yielding results as planned. Peter and I had run mock receipts and shipments by remotely connecting to the Best Bargain warehouse and coaching the warehouse manager through the steps with the handheld. There were no error messages. The quantities were correct, and we could print.

Peter tested the accounting functions and produced financial statements. The production database was ready for the cutover—master records had been examined and signed off by Best Bargain, the chart of accounts signed off and loaded, the configurations examined and also signed off by Best Bargain. All developments, except for the shortfalls we had already noted, were tested, inputs and outputs had been processed precisely as expected, and witnessed in operation by Donald in behalf of Best Bargain—though we would conduct formal user acceptance testing using the test scripts. In short, we had covered every item in our go-live checklist successfully except the actual user acceptance testing and the final training.

Whether the warehouse staff could actually run the warehouse system when they went live had me concerned. The staff continued to struggle in learning the new system. I would double the training effort if necessary, and involve Donald in the training so he could witness their flagging performance. He would have to approve the extra effort, and that meant more money. He had to believe it was necessary to increase the budget. In any event, Peter and I would be on site for the week following go-live to continue the support.

The human factor I was finding is always one of the greatest wildcards in the project. Ability and willingness are both unpredictable variables. Donald had to be prepared to give extra support to his

Page 142: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

136

warehouse staff if they continued to have difficulties. It was that or pay comparatively exorbitant fees, far more than he‘d pay any of his own staff, to have Triple-S help them. I warned him of that possibility to ward off a last minute storm of dissatisfaction.

I held the web session in the same way as the previous time. I displayed the milestones with their respective statuses, and we reviewed them. All were agreed. We were ready enough, and they could live without the remaining developments for a while—as long as those tasks didn‘t drag out for more that two more weeks. I promised Triple-S would apply themselves as devoutly as they had observed in the last month. We had demonstrated responsibility and organization in our efforts that restored a measure of Alex and Donald‘s faith in Triple-S to deliver. Maybe Triple-S had learned something of what it really took to implement an ERP as we navigated this messy project. We agreed to move forward.

We made our own travel arrangements, each planning to arrive the night before our respective activities would begin. We couldn‘t risk a weather problem to delay our arrival. We had to be on time and ready to go—no excuses.

Peter and I planned to arrive on Monday night to be there Tuesday morning to begin the critical user acceptance testing. Alex and Donald and each respective department head would observe and participate in the testing. The CFO would also be present for all sessions to confirm that the ledgers were posted accurately. Assuming all went well with the testing, and leaving time for any minor fixes that might have been needed, we planned to return two weeks later to conduct final training. I knew better than to blindly believe everything would go well. It was a software system, afterall, and anything could go wrong at any time. The stress of that prospect continued to constrain my appetite. I really wished I could get interested in more than peanuts someday soon. As it stood, we would plan to go-live the second Monday in June.

After that, my fate would be sealed.

Page 143: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

137

Chapter 39 Friendly Fire

I was home alone Sunday night, trying to relax my very agitated soul. It was late. I was sitting silently, staring thoughtlessly as I could at the dark panes of glass of my patio doors, feeling the crush of aloneness, feelings of optimism dueling with the sinking feeling that something could go so very wrong. Try as I might, my mind would not stop the relentless review of the project.

I had done what I could. Applied all the diplomacy, disciplines and demands on the team that I could properly conceive. Now, to finish those last important steps. Prove the system. Train them well. Support the go-live. Then consider my future, if I had one to consider.

I nixed the thought of failure. Nothing would stop this project now. I had wrestled it to the finish line. I would see it done, too.

But then came Vishal‘s ominous email. We had to talk—dot, dot,dot.

Vishal called, and I was fired. Gregg‘s complaints had finally done me in.

What foolishness on his part. But Charles Silverstruk would not care who was at fault. His black-or-white view of this project meant my neck was on the line and only mine. It was non-negotiable, but could I hope that he would understand I had no control over this firing?

In a start of terror, I remembered that my phone line had been tapped. It was late, 10 p.m. my time, 11 p.m. where Charles Silverstruk was sleeping, I hoped. Sebastian, too. Neither might review the tapes until morning. Maybe. But maybe Sebastian was waking Mr. Silverstruk at this very moment. The risk was too great that he might already know. I had to move fast—finish packing and leave promptly. And I had to contact Alex and Donald first thing in the morning, and tell them what had happened. Exonerate myself before Alex told his father the news without the context needed to hold me innocent.

I had always taken some pleasure in my ability to pack fast and completely when on my way to my next trip. I had never had to do so in a state of panic like this without a clear plan. How long would I be gone? For a month or two I roughly calculated. Long enough for Alex to believe

Page 144: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

138

that the system worked and tell his father the good news. I stuffed as much as I could get of anything into my bags. I gathered my personals and my laptop. My passport. And headed for the door.

I paused a moment at the computer. In a moment of dark humor I wrote a note on a post-it note and stuck it to my computer monitor. ―Gone fishing.‖ Maybe Sebastian would find it.

The phone is ringing. The Caller ID reads ―Eastern Caskets, Inc.‖ That would be Sebastian. I won‘t answer that call. It stops ringing. Then silence, no voice mail.

One last detail, copy my files from my laptop computer where my current files reside. Who knows, I may end up using a public library‘s computer in order to hide my whereabouts. I create a folder on my thumb drive and copy all Best Bargain folders and files to it. I‘ll take my Outlook Contacts, too, to be able to port them to any email system I may end up using. I start to export the Contacts to an Excel file and accept the default filename the system automatically suggests. The prompt tells me the file already exists. I don‘t know why. Never mind. I overwrite it. I copy the contacts to the thumb drive and I‘m done.

The phone is ringing again. Bastard Sebastian. Caller ID reads Unknown Number. I‘m not answering this call either. Then a voice speaks, leaving a voice mail. ―Richard, he‘s on his way. You better run—now.‖ And hung up. The voice, it wasn‘t Sebastian, it wasn‘t Charles Silverstruk and not Lucky‘s, but who?

I am in the car, backing out into the darkness. To the Post Office now to grab a stop mail notice. I didn‘t want the police to start looking for me because the mail was piling up. They could start wondering about me when they found my body, not before.

I headed for Evansville, Indiana, to an out of the way motel I knew from past travels. The Dew Drop Inn. I won‘t use the credit card—that‘s too traceable. This place was used to cash customers anyway. Suddenly, I remember I needed cash. I turned around and headed back to my bank. Take out as much as my ATF card limit allowed, small bills. Enough to hide on. Enough to continue to run on if it came to it.

I was cruising down I-88, inconspicuously melding with the flow. I called my daughter from my cellphone.

―Hello, Sara. Dad here.‖ ―Hello, Dad. Hey, you sound serious. What‘s up?‖ ―Something very strange has happened at work. I‘ve had to get

out of my condo. There could be someone after me who I don‘t want to find me. I have to be unreachable, at least for a while.‖

―Holy crap, Dad. Shouldn‘t you call the police or something?‖ ―No. No police. I can get through this. I‘m going to stop my

cellphone service soon, so you won‘t be able to reach me for a while.‖

Page 145: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

139

―You mean no one is going to know where you are?‖ ―Look, I‘ll be at the Dew Drop Inn just outside of Evansville,

Indiana. Don‘t come, don‘t email the motel, and don‘t call me. They could trace those things or follow you.‖

―How long is this going to take?‖ ―Maybe a couple months. It should all be cleared up by then. In

the meantime, don‘t tell anyone, not anyone, where I am. You understand?‖

―I understand, but I don‘t like it. I love you, Dad.‖ ―I love you, too. It‘s going to be okay. Just be patient.‖ I hung up

feeling a little queasy from fear and the adrenaline was causing my hands to shake and my skin grow cold and moist.

The road ahead is pitch black. Then it came to me. Manny. It was Manny’s voice.

―Cash,‖ I said. A groggy, pajama-clad man took my money

without looking up then bent down slightly to shove it in what surely was time-locked safe beneath the counter. He flopped a key with a plastic tag attached to it on the counter. Room number 232.

―It‘s in the back,‖ he said and jabbed a thumb in that direction. ―Look, I don‘t want to be disturbed so if…‖ ―I don‘t give out names to anyone but the cops. It the cops come

asking for you, that‘s your problem.‖ He slid the receipt across the counter, turned and headed back to his living quarters.

You get what you pay for, I thought. I stepped out of the office onto the asphalt parking lot. There were about seven cars in the lot. Slivers of soft light showed through curtains in as many rooms. No one really came here to sleep much, I figured. I parked my car in front of one of the lit rooms. If someone did come after me, I didn‘t want to make it too easy to find the room I was in.

It was not a very clever idea, but it was late and I couldn‘t think anymore. Once in the room I kicked off my shoes and laid down on top of the covers and fell asleep, clothes on.

From the depths of a deep sleep, I heard my cellphone ringing. It was early, or I had slept in. Hard to do on a motel bed as hard as this one. Not as good as the Dew Drop Inn‘s beds. I had decided to stay in a different motel in case Sara slipped up and told someone where I intended to stay. When my eyes could focus I saw it was just after 8 a.m. I‘d slept through my alarm set for 6 a.m. I intended to be awake in time to reach Alex or Donald as soon as they reached the office. I thought I may have missed them already.

―Hel, hel…Hello.‖ ―Richard, Paul. What the hell happened?‖

Page 146: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

140

―What do you mean? What‘s up?‖ ―Gregg says you quit. We got three weeks to go here, and you

quit? What‘s up with that?‖ ―He said I quit? I didn‘t quit. Vishal let me go.‖ ―That‘s not what Gregg said. Or Alex. He‘s giving everyone hell,

because you quit right before this thing is finished. Why did you do this?‖ ―I didn‘t quit.‖ It was too late. Alex thought I quit. And I had to figure he‘d told

his father already, if Sebastian hadn‘t already checked the wiretap and told him. The first story is the one they‘ll believe, just like the accuser always has the advantage over the accused. Charles Silverstruk would believe I quit.

I had to keep working to see this project through. It was my only hope.

Page 147: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

141

Chapter 40 Ghost Management

I bought a laptop computer from a local repair shop and set myself up a web site with email accounts using a prepaid credit card. There are thousands of such online services. I would be difficult to trace, but I could use the account with some false name to secretly participate in the status meetings. I used MagicJoe to establish a phone number. Twenty bucks for a year‘s VOIP service. The phone number is never listed.

I called Gregg. Despite what he‘d done, I had to be coldly practical. Revenge was useless. He needed my help, at least all the help I could offer under the circumstances. And I needed his. No matter what, this project had to finish successfully. And now I could work under the radar—unknown to Triple-S or Best Bargain.

―Gregg, Richard.‖ ―Richard. Look, sorry to hear the news. I didn‘t think they‘d let

you go.‖ ―What‘s done is done. No worries. Except, this was really bad

timing. Paul is going to have to do almost all the training now. You‘ll have to move the training schedule up a week and figure on two solid weeks of training.‖

―Yes, this really screws up the schedule.‖ ―Vishal thinks the project is all but done. He doesn‘t realize that

this puts the whole thing in jeopardy.‖ ―This couldn‘t be worse.‖ Reality strikes, I thought. Gregg is

speaking with regret in his voice. ―Look, Gregg. I called to offer to help. I‘m officially off payroll.

But I could sit in as a silent member of the status calls with a phony ID, and IM you as it goes if I have anything useful to add. That way no one at Triple-S would know I‘m still in on it. What do you think?‖

―Sure. Please do. Not a problem.‖ This was quite a change of heart. From character assassin to ally overnight. But then don‘t most conversions happen in a lightning flash of passion? Or fear?

―Then for the training. I‘ve got it all set up and broken down by trainer and job roles. I‘d recommend pulling in someone from one of the

Page 148: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

142

other Giant partners to do just some of the ERP training. That‘s all standard stuff.‖

―Richard, thanks for sticking in there under the circumstances. Most people would just walk away.‖ He‘s definitely speaking in tongues now. This is not the Gregg I talked to a few days ago. He wanted me fired.

―Think nothing of it.‖ ―One more thing, Richard. You know someone by the name

Sebastian?‖ For a moment I was too stunned to speak. My only thought was

don‘t double-cross Charles Silverstruk—he said tell no one. I wasn‘t going to risk it even now.

―Name doesn‘t ring a bell. Someone I should know?‖ ―No. Just someone I met.‖ ―Okay then, later.‖ I set my cellphone on the night stand, and considered what might

have happened with Gregg. Then it came to me. There‘s nothing like a fat retainer you can‘t refuse to get someone to see the light.

Page 149: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

143

Chapter 41 Going Live

I listened in on the remaining status meetings. At various points I typed an instant message to Gregg to cue his memory or nudge him not to forget what I thought was an important point. But in the main, Gregg was handling the meeting quite well. He was an intelligent man, and I felt he had observed and taken away some of the approaches he had witnessed in the dozens of meetings we had held. I felt some satisfaction in that. More importantly, I felt that Gregg could see this project through to its completion by sticking to the means of professional project management.

It‘s Wednesday, June 25. Training would be completed on Friday, just two more days to go. After the close of business that day, Peter will begin transferring open balances and open transactions into the production database. They would take a final physical inventory over the weekend and opening inventory balances will be entered into the database, too. Peter will run a trial balance and compare it to the existing system‘s report. It had to match, or we had to find out why it didn‘t and fix it.

Peter will have three days to complete the cutover and get the go-live checklist signed off. I was certain he would get the sign off as Gregg had made it clear during the final status meetings that he insisted upon it. That was another sign that the inoculation of proper project management had taken.

When the project was completed, and with Charles Silverstruk‘s permission, I could resume a normal life again. I took nothing for granted. Until it was all clear, I would remain in hiding.

I wondered if I might add another significant chapter to the many project manager certification programs found around the country—How to Survive Like a Hunted Rat.

Page 150: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

144

Chapter 42 Please Release Me

Five more days until go-live, two months later than Alex and Donald had first envisioned. It‘s late. I closed the lid on an empty, rancid pizza box. It was a little concerning how quickly a hot pizza turned into cold, stinking garbage. Stranded on a desert island, pizza is never recommended as survival food. They recommend bananas, but a rotting banana peel is no better, if you asked me. I say swim for it.

It was just getting dark out when I called Gregg for another update.

―Well, how did it go today, Gregg?‖ ―The system seems to be functioning all right. We‘ve seen orders

transmitted to the 3PLs, which I had my doubts about. So far, so good. No orders received by the file exchange feature yet. So we‘ll wait and see what‘s happening there.‖

―Sounds almost good.‖ ―The warehouse is having its problems, but they‘re all operator-

error type things.‖ As I listen to this I think, You can never offer too much training. ―It‘s got Paul pretty tied up. And I‘ve got Sushant working their shifts, U.S. time. He‘s spending quite a bit of time on the phone with them, too. But he‘s available every minute of their day.‖

This wasn‘t a good thing, that they needed so much support. But we were handling it. I didn‘t presume, however, that we were getting paid for the support. Triple-S still had a way to go in setting the terms for their service agreement. Profitability was ironically still an elusive goal.

―But all in all, Richard, I‘m not hearing a lot of yelling out of Alex or Donald. They‘re satisfied enough, and I can say we delivered all that we said we would.‖

I hung up and made a cup of the world‘s worst coffee in the coffee maker the inn provided. I thought you would have to hunt hard for coffee this bad to package and distribute to motels around the world. It was unnatural. I dumped both creamers into the black liquid and sat down in one of the world‘s most uncomfortable chairs to ponder where I stood. They bought these chairs at the same place they bought the coffee. I

Page 151: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

145

ruminated on the future. How much longer would it be now? Hiding. How does this come to a happy ending? Or does it?

Someone was knocking on my door. I knew it wasn‘t the pizza man, and that left all bad options after that. Surely, Sebastian could not have found me here. Maybe a drunk trying to find a room. I walked to the door, too afraid to peek through the curtains. ―Who is it?‖

―Room service.‖ It was a woman‘s voice. ―No, thanks. Not now.‖ ―We‘re checking the WiFi connections. It won‘t take a minute.‖ I opened the door to let her in. The door flung open and a frail,

blindfolded maid came flying at me. Sebastian pushed his way in behind her. I am knocked to the floor. The maid is whimpering beside me.

―Get in bathroom,‖ Sebastian shouted at the maid. She crawled towards the bathroom still wearing the white towel tied around her eyes. Sebastian slammed the door shut.

―So sorry, Richard. I am afraid you fail Mr. Silverstruk. This unacceptable.‖ He pulled his gun from his shoulder holster and aimed it at my head.

―I have a daughter.‖ ―I know. And Mr. Silverstruk has son.‖ Someone was knocking at the door. Sebastian looked startled.

―Get rid of them.‖ I walked to the door as Sebastian circled behind me. ―Who is it?‖

I squeaked. ―Hotel management, Mr. Morrow. May I speak to you?‖ ―Now‘s not a good time.‖ ―It will take just one minute.‖ Sebastian signaled for me to open

the door, using two fingers to indicate about an inch. I cracked open the door. Sebastian stood behind me to my right,

gun ready, one last heartbeat away. I peeked through the crack. Manny was standing there, gun in hand, waving me off, wanting me to move out of the way.

I flung the door open, and dropped to the floor to my right. The door struck Sebastian and a shot exploded. I don‘t know where the bullet went. My ears are stunned by the blast. Manny slid into the room on his knees expecting a high shot to the head or chest. He fired twice. He hit the wall near the ceiling and chipped cinderblock sprayed the room. Sebastian fell awkwardly towards the bed, avoiding Manny‘s aim, his own gun gyrating in the fall, trying to hone in on Manny. Manny rolled away, giving Sebastian a moving target to try to hit.

Then Sebastian‘s head snapped back hard. His free hand reached for his forehead, his eyes suddenly gone glazed. Manny fired twice. Sebastian fell backwards on the bed and his arms went limp.

Page 152: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

146

―What the hell?‖ Manny was baffled, looking at Sebastian. Then at me. Moments passed, speechless confusion muted both of us.

―How did you find me?‖ I asked. ―Your daughter told me.‖ ―I told her the Dew Drop Inn.‖ ―I know. She told me when I found her. He had her tied up. Then

he beat it down here. He finally found you,‖ Manny said. ―Nice shot, huh?‖ Lucky said, casually appearing in the doorway

now, holding a titanium slingshot at his side. ―Meet Lucky Stones, Manny.‖ Manny stood to greet Lucky. ―You shot him with that?‖ Manny asked, wide-eyed, looking at

the sling shot. Lucky twirled the slingshot in his index finger like a revolver.

―Yep. Just stunned him a bit.‖ Manny turned back to me. ―That‘s what she told Sebastian.‖

Manny continued. ―He checked the Dew Drop first. I was right behind him. Been following him all day. He‘s checked every motel in Evansville and then some.‖

―Is Sara okay?‖ ―Yes, she‘s fine.‖ ―You followed Sebastian that closely?‖ I asked Manny. ―I knew he‘d go after her first. I had her address. I was just an

hour behind him.‖ ―Her address? How?‖ I asked Manny. ―I saw it in your Contacts list. I sent it to Charles before you

started the training that first day. The day you found me in the training room.‖

―Oh, yeah. Then that‘s why there was already a contacts export file on my computer. You did it. But why were you helping Charles Silverstruk?‖

―Nobody resigns a Charles Silverstruk job, Richard. You go along or else.‖

―I read an article, about Permanent Dreams. Weren‘t you the witness who refused to testify in the civil suit?‖

―Yeah. I worked there. Silverstruk broke us. When the bribes didn‘t work, he threatened Maury‘s family. Made Maury sell.‖

―Why didn‘t it just end there…when he sold out?‖ ―Maury‘s resentments never went away. So he sent his wife and

sons to relatives in Europe to be safe and filed suit. He wanted his company back.‖

―He had to hide his family?‖ ―Oh yeah. Silverstruk will threaten anyone. He‘d kill, too. And

there‘s the proof.‖ Manny nodded at Sebastian‘s body.

Page 153: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

147

―So how did he get to you? Stop you from testifying.‖ ―First, he had Maury killed. Made it look like a car accident, but

everyone knew what it was. Then he threatened my family, just like he threatened Maury‘s. But to be fair, as he put it, he gave me a job with his son‘s company for keeping quiet. I needed the job and I thought it was the safe thing to do, too. To protect my family. That was ten years ago.‖

―He‘ll send somebody else now won‘t he?‖ ―No, he won‘t be sending anyone else.‖ ―How do you know that?‖ ―Let‘s put it this way. Maury had three sons, the oldest was the

same age as mine. He grew up.‖ ―Yeah?‖ ―He knew who killed his father. We‘ve been planning something

for a long time. Then this deal and you came along. We were going to do all that we could to see that it failed. To settle the score. Let Charles see his son suffer some, too. But then, when things were going badly on the project, we started to figure that Charles was going to go after you. We had to change our plans a little bit. So it was decided I would take care of Sebastian. Donald would do what he had to do.‖

―Donald? Did you mean the Donald?‖ ―Yes, Alex‘s Donald. We thought it was time to finally put a stop

to Charles Silverstruk. He was going to kill you, maybe your daughter, too. Now Mr. Charles Silverstruk won‘t be threatening anybody anymore.‖

―I‘ve got to get to Sara. You know where she is now?‖ ―Right here,‖ Lucky said, walking back into the room, Sara at his

side. Sara rushed to hug me. It was the first time I‘d hugged her in

years. ―Oh, Dad. You‘re all right.‖ I peered over Sara‘s head at Lucky. ―Thanks, Lucky. Surprised

you weren‘t first through the door.‖ ―I was watching. Just keeping my promise, Richard. No ‗K‘s.‘ I

trusted Manny to take the necessary measures.‖

Page 154: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

148

Chapter 43 Epilogue

Ten in a row, left handed. My waste basket was half full of post-its. I‘m going to work on bank shots next. Off the wall. Maybe two at a time. I have a renewed joy in the simple things in life. It happens when you cheat death. One man‘s revenge is another man‘s salvation. That‘s my new saying.

Donald Loeb, a.k.a., Donald Moore, son of Maury Loeb, and Manny had completed their unfinished business with Charles Silverstruk. It was a long time coming. Donald had to finish his education, get a job, build a resume and find his way into Best Bargain‘s employ. The CIA could have used a guy with Donald‘s skills. He was undetectable.

I had no idea how long Manny and he had planned their revenge. Maybe it just evolved. Maybe they only knew they wanted to get even—somehow. Opportunity would present itself someday. And it had. With the Best Bargain project. When Charles decided to deliver my punishment, they decided the moment had arrived. Charles Silverstruk died in a car wreck. The police aren‘t not sure what happened. Maybe the inexperienced driver just made a mistake and drove the Rolls Royce into a concrete embankment. They called it an accident.

The fire, however, looked more like arson. It burned the Best Bargain offices to the ground—including the server and the backup server where everything, absolutely everything—the production server, the test server, the development server, and the backup server were housed. There is no disaster recovery service that could salvage anything in a case like this. It was all gone. Alex will have to start over.

To Triple-S‘ delight, Donald let the company go-live successfully, and they received payment for everything done to that point. Two weeks later the fire destroyed everything.

I understood Donald‘s need for revenge for his father‘s miserable years after his company had been wrenched away from him. And for his father‘s murder. I understood his resentment surrounding the state of fear that he, his mother, and his young brothers had lived with while his father tried to reclaim what was his. I reasoned that he took aim at Alex, figuring sons were fair game since Charles had included Donald and his

Page 155: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

149

brothers in his threats. Just like Silverstruk implied that his threats included my daughter. So Donald took a pound of flesh from Charles Silverstruk‘s own son, too. Called it even, I guess.

It was all certainly something no project manager could ever anticipate. I deserved a hazardous duty bonus. Got fired instead. Go figure.

I had to wonder if Triple-S would follow the methodology I had imposed on them. I have wondered if the business culture there was embedded too deeply to accept change. Did they hold a project evaluation meeting and seriously review the lessons learned in the Best Bargain project? Or did they just count the money? I may never know. Alex paid them, and all‘s well that ends well would be good enough for Triple-S, I suspect. Their next project will probably be run like they always have—without a champion on board to enforce a methodology. It will cost them.

Nonetheless, I have finished. The realities of life, as I‘ve seen in this project, are not neatly packaged. This was certainly no textbook experience, and I judged it would never be all that tidy. But I have no doubt that it can be done well, with organization, discipline, communication, diplomacy, courage—and with integrity. I knew how to do that now. Galvanized by the hellfire of this troubled implementation, I am ready for the next project.

Page 156: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

150

Page 157: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

151

Project Management Quick Reference

Page 158: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

How to Be a Project Manager without Getting Killed

152

Page 159: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference

153

Table of Contents

PREPARING A PROJECT PLAN .............................................................. 155

DEFINING THE SCOPE .............................................................................. 155 DETERMINING AVAILABLE RESOURCES.................................................. 156 ASSEMBLING YOUR PROJECT TEAM ....................................................... 156 LISTING THE BIG STEPS ............................................................................ 156 LISTING THE SUPPORTING STEPS ............................................................ 157 CONSIDERING THE TIMELINE .................................................................. 157 COMPLETING THE BUSINESS PROCESS BLUEPRINT ............................... 158 CREATING THE BASELINE PLAN ............................................................... 158 PRESENTING RISK ISSUES ........................................................................ 158 MONITORING YOUR TEAM'S AND YOUR CUSTOMER’S PROGRESS ..... 159 COMMUNICATING ................................................................................... 160 WORK BREAKDOWN STRUCTURE - SAMPLE .......................................... 161

THE CHANGE ORDER ........................................................................... 162 TRAINING ............................................................................................ 164

SAMPLE TRAINING OUTLINE ................................................................... 167 SAMPLE TRAINING SCHEDULE ................................................................ 168

CONTROLLING PROJECT VARIANCES ................................................... 169 SAMPLE SIGN OFF DOCUMENT .............................................................. 171

IMPLEMENTATION METHODOLOGY - SAMPLE ................................... 172 EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ............................................................................ 172

THE BLUEPRINT ................................................................................... 180 INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................ 180 DOCUMENT SCOPE .................................................................................. 180 CURRENT STATE ....................................................................................... 180 COMPANY ORGANIZATION ..................................................................... 181 SUMMARY OF REQUIREMENTS .............................................................. 181 BUSINESS PROCESSES .............................................................................. 181 FINANCE ................................................................................................... 183 FORMS ...................................................................................................... 183 REPORTS ................................................................................................... 183

BUSINESS PROCESS BLUEPRINT ........................................................... 185 PROJECT SUMMARY ........................................................................... 187

INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................ 187 DOCUMENT SCOPE .................................................................................. 187

Page 160: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference

154

CURRENT STATE....................................................................................... 187 COMPANY ORGANIZATION .................................................................... 188 SUMMARY OF REQUIREMENTS.............................................................. 189

BUSINESS PROCESSES ......................................................................... 190 BEST BARGAIN —SALES .......................................................................... 191

APPROVAL .......................................................................................... 196 CROSS FUNCTIONAL FLOWCHART EXAMPLE ...................................... 197 SAMPLE REPORT DESIGN TEMPLATE .................................................. 198 FUNCTIONAL DESIGN DOCUMENT ...................................................... 199 CONFIGURATION SETTINGS - DATA GATHERING FORM ...................... 203 GO-LIVE CHECKLIST ............................................................................. 209

SYSTEM READINESS ................................................................................. 209 COMPANY READINESS ............................................................................ 211 DATA READINESS ..................................................................................... 212

Page 161: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

155

Preparing a Project Plan

The project manager (PM) is asked to plan and control the timeline, the resources, the scope, and often the budget for a project. The resulting document is the project plan.

Dozens of project management software solutions are available on the market, some PC-based, some server-based, some web-based. They differ in complexity and serve the needs of project managers working with a wide variety of project types. Learning to use a software solution is essential. Manually computing the dates, effort and dependencies manually is too hard to do.

The text is concerned with the simplest form of project management and primarily the management of a single project at one time. Given that context, the following describes the parts of the project plan and the generic challenges presented by each.

Defining the Scope The first challenge is to adequately define and document what the

project is supposed to accomplish. Determining what problem the customer is trying to fix and how takes considerable deliberation. (A customer could be your own boss or someone else in the organization, generically speaking) Getting this right is critical. Without a carefully worded scope definition, the opportunity is left open for the infamous ―scope creep.‖ Customers tend to interpret any defining statement in the broadest terms. For example, the promise to provide a payroll system for a customer might be interpreted to mean that it should include a scheduling functionality, too. After all, how many hours an employee is scheduled to work affects payroll, right? It is important to include a detailed definition of the scope.

The first challenge is to adequately define and document what the project is supposed to accomplish. Determining what problem the customer is trying to fix and how takes considerable deliberation. Getting this right is critical. Without a carefully worded scope definition, the opportunity is left open for the infamous ―scope creep.‖ Customers tend to interpret any defining statement in the broadest terms. For example, the promise to provide a payroll system for a customer might be interpreted to mean that it should include a scheduling functionality, too. After all, how many hours an employee is scheduled to work affects payroll, right? It is important to include a detailed definition of the scope.

A helpful way to preclude such interpretations is to include a detailed marketing brochure or solution blueprint for the software solutions included in the proposal. As is the case throughout the project,

Page 162: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

156

the adjudicating reference for what was committed to is found in written and signature approved documentation. The scope definition is typically included in the proposal contract in a vendor-customer scenario, and this is a binding, signature-approved document.

Determining Available Resources A project manager is the ultimate politician in the organization

since he/she rarely has line authority over the staff that will be carrying out the project tasks. That means the PM must ask other managers to provide one or more of their subordinates to the project on a part or full-time basis. Maintaining that commitment often requires persistent and patient diplomacy.

When you have compiled a list of the resources made available to you, you will be able to later assign them to the project task list you have composed in your project management software. Obviously, more than one resource may be required for any one task. Be sure to include your customer‘s resources in the resource list and assign them to their tasks, too. You will want your customer to fully acknowledge that the project is a collaborative endeavor wherein everyone has to meet their responsibilities.

Assembling Your Project Team Get the people on your team together, your own consultants and

any service providers, and start a dialog. They are the technical experts who will have much to say that will affect the timeline. Afterall, they will be doing most of the actual work. You will need their input as to how tasks can best be accomplished.

Advise them of the scope of the project and the anticipated start date and proposed go-live date. Review how you will be communicating with them and what your general expectations are of them in terms of completing task assignments and reporting requirements. You will be reconvening with them once you have developed the preliminary plan to see if changes need to be made to the plan at the outset.

Listing the Big Steps Once you are certain of the project scope, you may begin

composing the project plan using the project management software solution of your choice. Follow the structure recorded in your implementation methodology document, a document the sales executive may well have presented to the prospect while securing the deal. The major milestones in the project plan should be the same as in the implementation methodology document the customer has seen. You will

Page 163: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

157

want to build confidence in your management abilities by demonstrating that you are consistently following your written methodology. Add the larger steps as subentries to these major phases of the project plan. Those steps might include: project kick-off, hardware installation, software installation, training, etc.

In a mature company, you may already have a pro forma project plan listing the common steps followed in almost any project you‘ll be asked to manage. You can tweak that document to accomplish this step.

Listing the Supporting Steps After listing the larger steps, begin fleshing out these steps with

the supporting steps that must be accomplished in order to complete the larger one. Adjust the list until the sequences are in proper order. Based on information provided by the customer and your knowledge of your company‘s current workload, you can begin entering a start date and duration time for each of the supporting steps. Your project management software will be automatically calculating the finish date for each supporting step and computing a finish date for the parent step in the process.

Some of the steps cannot be completed until preceding steps are completed. If your software allows, indicate the dependency relationship between these related steps. Good project software will validate the date sequence relationship between the steps and offer a warning message if you‘ve entered an invalid start date. Identify opportunities where tasks may be scheduled simultaneously in order to compress the timeline efficiently. When this step is completed, you have a preliminary plan to review with the project team for their input.

Considering the Timeline Meeting the customer‘s go-live deadline in a project, e.g., an ERP

implementation, can be tricky business, though all deadlines are in any project. A customer‘s desired deadline may be a result of exaggerated expectations or unreasonable fears or naiveté. Or it may be critically real. Be careful what you commit to. A small consulting firm‘s capacity to deliver is always challenged by the number of deals the sales force is closing. Though the salesperson is expected to suggest a reasonable timeline, there are always competitive pressures to meet the prospect‘s demands and get the deal. All this is combined with the complexity of the project to estimate a go-live date.

The more ―out-of-the-box‖ the solutions are in the proposal, the more predictability there is. The more special developments and integrations included, the less predictable it is. Whatever the case, it is up

Page 164: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

158

to the project manager to provide the most candid version of the timeline estimate as possible.

Enter the duration for the tasks in the proper fields in fields of your project management software. If you‘re able to manage the project‘s tasks in hours or minutes, you may do so, but choose just one time measurement type to keep it simple. Using days as an increment is acceptable, too, especially if the time it takes to complete your tasks cannot or has not been measured precisely in the past. Consultants are not always tied to a workstation as in a manufacturing worker might be, and the amount of time they put in or when they can put in the time is variable. Adding up the time it takes to complete all the tasks will not yield an elapsed time and predict a finish date well. Using days as the increment favors the project manager who is focusing on deadlines and not the billing.

Completing the Business Process Blueprint If there are special developments, integrations or any other

unique challenges in the project, they will be revealed in the blueprinting process. Functional design documents may have to be produced for review by your technical team before they are approved by the customer. Discussions may need to be held with service providers to determine availability, the duration and the dependencies their efforts entail. Statements of work will have to be reviewed and approved. These details will likely affect the timeline and call for some additional tasks to be added to the preliminary plan.

Creating the Baseline Plan Present and discuss the preliminary plan to the project team and

adjust the timelines and resources as required. The result of this meeting is the baseline project plan. Understand that a project plan is a dynamic document that will change with time. New details will be added. Circumstances may cause unplanned delays. Change orders may add new tasks and resources and affect the timeline. The revised timeline needs to be presented to the customer. The customer should always be kept abreast of the current project plan whether the timeline is affected or not.

Presenting Risk Issues There are inherent risks in any project such as illness among the

team members that may prohibit them from working. Circumstances may arise that could never have been anticipated, and they will have to be added to the list of risks and their affect on the project plan accounted

Page 165: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

159

for. If the sales executive has not already reviewed with the prospect the potential risks to the project, you should when presenting the preliminary project plan. Many just don‘t want to face the imperfect world, but the reality that unplanned events can affect the project must be confronted. Don‘t wait to do this. At minimum, present the risk factors when presenting the baseline project plan, or later on if a tornado hits and delays the project, the blame is likely go to the consulting firm that allowed it to affect the project.

Monitoring Your Team's and Your Customer’s Progress You will make little progress at the beginning of the project, but

start monitoring what everyone is doing right away. That will make it easier to catch issues before they become problems. Ad hoc contacts, emails and phone calls, are necessary to keep abreast of developments allowing you to remove roadblocks or re-focus efforts on the plan. Weekly, or in some cases daily, status meetings are needed to keep everyone on the team and the customer in tune with the project. Customer confidence varies proportionately to how well they are informed. An uninformed customer becomes an mistrustful customer quite quickly.

Use a web conferencing service for the status meetings and display the project plan for all to see. Review with each resource every incomplete task whose start date has come due. Public accountability like this goes a long way in keeping consultants focused. Update completed tasks. If more supporting steps are needed, add them to the project plan as all watch. You want the team to understand that the project is run strictly by the project plan. Caution: don‘t let the meeting devolve into a troubleshooting meeting. Note those issues which should be discussed separately after the meeting. Involve yourself in those offline conversations to measure the effectiveness of the exchanges. Many people don‘t know how to say what they mean. Help them. Make sure progress is being made.

Building team spirit is a very important part of the project manager‘s job. Be liberal in praising accomplishments. Don‘t make the team feel that you‘re only there to catch them doing wrong. Make sure they know what they‘re supposed to do and thank them for a doing a good job of it every chance you get.

Use the notes or comments feature of your project software to document the record, e.g., why changes were made, what caused delays. You may need these notes to defend your timeline later on when consultant and customer anxieties constrain memory recall.

Page 166: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

160

Communicating You probably can‘t communicate too much. Whenever possible,

begin with a written document—an email, or an email with an attachment, a design document, the project plan, whatever is sensible. Oral communications experience a remarkable amount of drop out, that is, so much is forgotten or misunderstood. This is not news, but the realization is hard to come to. It‘s best to have a document to refer to when you‘re conversing with another party so they have prepared crib notes to consult. When the discussion is over, make a written summary of action items and send them to all parties. Add appropriate action items to the project plan—this includes about anything and everything that has to be done. Take your own notes on the conversation and save them where you can find them again. I prefer to use the notes feature of the project plan software to keep as much in one place as possible.

Sometimes a written notice is enough for very minor matters. For anything substantial, particularly bad news, you must also speak to the person. Leaving bad news in a faceless email is like leaving the unwanted baby on the porch then running away. You get terrible reactions. Speak to the other party, resolve the matter, and courageously face the consequences whatever they may be.

Page 167: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Preparing a Project Plan

161

Work Breakdown Structure - Sample

Page 168: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Change Order

162

The Change Order

Purpose The Change Order documents the requested change to the

Blueprint or Proposal document, suggests the impact on the project timeline and affect on business processes, and records the customer‗s signed approval to proceed with the change. For: <Company Name>

Change Description

Description of change to be made:

Item Description

Start/Finish

Date

<State the desired start and finishing dates.>

Budget <State the total estimated cost to complete this change.>

Resources <How many hours are estimated and who will be needed to

complete the change order?>

Scope <How does this change affect scope? >

Schedule <How does this change affect the project timeline?.

Assumptions <List any business and/or technical assumptions for this

change.>

Other <State any other factors, such as impact on other

interrelated projects. >

Page 169: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Change Order

163

Change Approval

This change order is approved by:

Signature Position

Printed Name

Date

Page 170: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Training

164

Training

The following lists the preparations one must have in place before arriving at the training site. Most of the list is the client‘s obligation to provide. You will also find some guidance in how to conduct a training session.

FACILITIES

Conference room □

Computers – properly configured □

Printer for instructor‘s computer □

Internet access □

Digital projector □

Computer speakers □

Whiteboard and markers □

Telephone with conference speaker □

SOFTWARE

ERP Software □

Triple S software □

Office software □

Acrobat □

Training database □

Page 171: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Training

165

MATERIALS

eLessons □

Software user manuals □

TRAINING METHOD

Use role-based training outline. □

Introduce the feature to be learned. □

Explain feature‘s use in one or more texts/scenarios. □

Show the eLesson. □

Stop the eLesson as necessary to clarify concepts. □

Stop the eLesson at intervals to confirm students are tracking the

lesson well—replay the lesson as necessary. □

Personally demonstrate the feature using the training database. □

Have the lead student perform the same transaction using the

training database until fluent. □

Have lead student train the next student in the transaction until all

students are fluent. □

Review what has been learned. □

Have lead student look up answers using the eLessons. □

Have lead student look up answers using the Help screen. □

Have lead student look up answers using the User Guide. □

Note: in every day‘s training session:

Emphasize the client is in training to become self-reliant in the use of

Page 172: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Training

166

the software. More training beyond the currently planned

engagement will require more training fees.

Demonstrate how to use the eLessons for independent review. □

Demonstrate how to use Help screens to find answers. □

Demonstrate how to use User Manuals to find answers. □

Page 173: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Training

167

Sample Training Outline

Page 174: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Training

168

Sample Training Schedule It is a difficult challenge to get everyone who needs or wishes to

be trained to attend training. Business obligations are in constant conflict. Discuss this schedule with the company project manager and a senior level executive to get it approved. Attendance is required, and that must be stressed. Required attendance is not for your benefit, it‘s for the company‘s—to avoid incurring additional training costs later or for spoiling a successful cutover when they go live.

You‘ll see below that I‘ve listed the times for the sessions, the topics, the attendees by job title and the pool of people who should complete the training. I let the company management choose who to send when, giving the flexibility to meet business requirements. Each attendee will, however, be signing a document verifying that each has completed the training agenda for each session. This is summarized later and presented to the company project manager to validate who participated—and that means to remained in the classroom throughout the training session. Those who feel the need ―to duck out‖ to take care of ―emergencies‖ are asked to make a choice—stay or reschedule.

Page 175: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Controlling Project Variances

169

Controlling Project Variances

Estimates are guesses. But they can be solid guesses if you have the historical data to support them. The accounting department is responsible for providing the means to collect the data along with project codes that allow for detailed analysis. For example, Legacy Data Migration might have three sub-categories like Data Extraction, Data Cleansing, and Data Upload. Consultants need to properly code their timesheets to make this possible. Purchase orders and invoices likewise need to be coded properly. Historical data then becomes useful in preparing future estimates.

The project manager may control the project in various levels of detail. The simplest cost analysis would compare total actual expenditures to estimated (budgeted) expenditures. To control the project more closely, the analysis would include three general factors: budgeted expenses as planned, budgeted expenses as scheduled, and actual expenses. Here are some examples of what your analysis might reveal:

When actual expenses are equal to budgeted expenses, things are

under control.

When budgeted expenses are greater than actual expenses, things

are going very well.

When both actual and budgeted expenses are equal, but more

than budgeted schedule, you are ahead of schedule, but things are

under control.

When actual expenses are greater than budgeted scheduled

expenses, and when budgeted plan expenses are less than

budgeted schedules, things are not under control. You are

overspent, and you are behind schedule.

Estimates are only guesses because: Your company has learned to complete processes more efficiently

since the last time.

External circumstances have varied, e.g., bad weather, new laws,

a flu epidemic made your workers sick, a supplier went broke,

etc.

Internal circumstances varied, e.g., a strike, key personnel quit,

management priorities changed and took away some of your

Page 176: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Controlling Project Variances

170

resources, key machinery broke, labor rates have gone up or

down, etc.

How much variance is acceptable is a matter for your company to decide given the nature of your business. There is no universal standard.

When variances are judged unacceptable, the options you have to choose from are:

Correct the situation, e.g., apply more or better resources when

behind schedule.

Revise the plan to accommodate the factors causing the variance,

e.g., extend the due dates, or eliminate certain tasks.

Cancel the project.

Do nothing.

Page 177: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

171

Sample Sign Off Document

(Keep it simple. Don‘t give the client anxiety by asking them to sign what looks like a contract.)

Your Company Logo Here Your Company Name Here

The master data for <client company name> is approved for the final production database.

Signature ______________________________________________

Printed Name ___________________________________________

Date __________________________________________________

Page 178: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

172

Implementation Methodology - Sample

Executive Summary Our implementation methodology is designed to provide a

consistent approach resulting in predictable positive outcomes. The particulars of the methodology are derived from the industry‘s best practices as are found in numerous industry publications and from our own experiences.

Consistently positive outcomes are the product of proper documentation, good communication and close collaboration between our firm and the client. For these reasons, our firm follows a disciplined approach closely adhering to these tenets of professional project management. Though verbal communication is intrinsic to all projects, all substantive agreements and plans are put in writing and signed off by both parties as validation. The practice of documenting important matters reduces the opportunity for confusion and misunderstandings.

Our firm and the client must have equal access to all such documentation to make it effective. Our firm provides access through an accessible, secure internet site which holds all such documentation. Some documentation, such as the project plan, is updated frequently. Having realtime, 24/7 access to the documentation provides the assurance that no party is left out of the communication. To ensure effective communication, weekly status meetings will be conducted with implementation team members from our firm and with the client in attendance.

A project will progress as the planned sequence of tasks is accomplished. Many tasks are dependent on the completion of preceding tasks. It is important, therefore, that assigned resources address their assigned tasks as promptly as possible and follow them through to completion. Resources may be allocated in coordination with the timelines of one or more concurrent projects. Consequently, a backlog of incomplete tasks may overload a resource creating bottlenecks that negatively affect the timeline. Our firm stresses the responsibility of fully completing tasks in the required sequences to minimize such impediments.

Good project management is a requisite for a successful implementation, but it is not immune to unplanned events. Risks are inherent in every project, and must reasonably be identified and acknowledged at the outset of the project and during the project as new circumstances may dictate.

Deadlines are calculated using the best estimates of the size and complexity of the project‘s task list along with scheduling constraints

Page 179: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

173

presented by our firm‘s and the client‘s workload and capacities. Reaching completion by the targeted deadlines always assumes quality standards have been met and that any caveats to any task, where they might occur, have been documented and signed off. The optimal speed at which deadlines are achieved results from the continuous application of a disciplined approach that disallows risky short cuts and compromises to sound methodologies.

All accomplishments in the project plan must be in accordance with the proposal, the blueprint and any change orders approved with the client‘s signature. Periodic validations are signed by the client as the project progresses to assure the building blocks of accomplishment have been satisfactorily put in place.

The final goal of the implementation is to leave the client in full control of the system. Training is a critically important mutual obligation of our firm and the client. Our obligation is to teach, the client‘s is to learn. Our firm‘s commitment is to provide the training as necessary to establish the client‘s self-sufficiency. The amount of training required is a function of the learner‘s ability to absorb the training as provided. Training will be scheduled based on similar implementations, but can be adjusted as the client requires to reach self-sufficiency.

The following provides an explanation of the phases of the implementation.

Page 180: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

174

Implementation Cycle

Project Preparation

Item Explanation

Prepare initial project plan document. Read the project scope as written in the

signed proposal to remind the client of

the parameters of the project. Briefly go

through the preliminary project plan

with the client at the kick-off meeting.

Indicate that the preliminary plan is a

shell at this point that will be fleshed out

once the blueprint document has been

approved. Emphasize that the project

plan is the primary tool by which the

project is directed.

Establish implementation procedures,

personnel and communications.

Be prepared to discuss these matters at

the kick-off meeting. Discuss the on-site,

versus remote access and its

requirements. Name the team members,

including who will be the client‘s project

Page 181: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

175

manager. Explain you are the primary

point of contact, how you may be reached

and how you will respond. Explain where

and how all project relevant

documentation can be accessed and what

privileges will be granted, i.e., read only;

edit, no access.

Review the system landscape. A company technician will inspect or

receive a confirming confirmation of the

system landscape presently in place at

the client‘s site. Arrangements need to be

made where new equipment may be

required. If so, this task will be put in the

project plan.

Hold kick-off meeting. Hold a kick-off meeting with the client‘s

key management staff, yourself as project

manager and presenter, and your

account executive.

Install production hardware. If required, see that the appropriate

hardware is installed promptly.

Install ―sandbox‖ solution. Install a ―sandbox‖ version, a demo

version, of the solution so key client

personnel can begin inspecting the

solution and begin working on the

eLessons once they are assigned.

Page 182: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

176

Blueprint

Item Explanation

Perform key persons solution overview

training.

Distribute introductory training

materials (available eLessons) to key

persons to study before conducting live

training. Key persons need to have a

clear understanding of the accounting

and transaction flows in the solution,

and learn navigation skills needed to

inspect the solution.

Collect configuration information and

chart of accounts.

Using a data collection form, collect all

the necessary configuration

information, e.g., item numbers and

descriptions, pricing, customer names,

etc., and the chart of accounts. This

information is needed to begin any

required developments and conduct

actual training sessions.

Document business processes; note

gaps, validate solutions.

Hold a series of workshops in which

key executives and department leads

are present to thoroughly review the

―as-is‖ transaction flows for every

department. After the sessions, the

consultant‘s project manager or

business analyst will compose the

blueprint, note gaps in the solutions,

and develop gap—filling proposals to

be presented to the client in another

session.

Document training plan. Present a tailored training plan

indicating courseware or other training

exercises for each job role in the

company, e.g., sales people, warehouse

staff, etc. Indicate sequences, self study

requirements and who must attend

when, a schedule of live training

events. Also indicate training

requisites, e.g., rooms and equipment

Page 183: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

177

needed.

Document test scripts. Use existing transactions as the scripts

for the testing that validates the

readiness of the system. The scripts are

approved by the client with the help of

the vendor‘s consultant.

Obtain project phase sign-off from

customer for ―Business Blueprint.‖

When the blueprint is agreed to, ask

the client for their approval signature

on the blueprint document.

Realization

Item Explanation

Upload configuration data. Ask the client for a signed approval of

the configuration data, then upload the

configuration data into a production,

testing and training database.

Collect and upload master data. Ask the client for a signed approval of

the master data, then upload the

master data into a production, testing

and training database. Emphasize that

the readiness of the master data is the

responsibility of the client.

Develop and test special

developments.

After the functional design documents

have been approved by your own

technical team and the client, begin

developing and unit testing of the

developments.

Install and configure third-party

solutions.

Oversee the installation and

configuration of any third-party

solutions and conduct unit testing.

Conduct full cycle user acceptance

testing.

Be prepared to conduct full cycle user

acceptance testing, using the

customer‘s test scripts, with the client.

Page 184: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

178

Ask the client for a signed approval of

the user acceptance testing.

Obtain project phase sign-off from

customer for ―Project Realization.‖

Self explanatory.

Final Preparation

Item Explanation

Confirm go-live date. Confirm the original or establish a new

go-live date – typically during a

weekend and near a period end.

Train end users and administrators on

complete system.

Conduct live training reviewing the

self-study lessons and any other topics

needed to develop self-sufficiency with

the client‘s staff.

Confirm support services and

resources.

Train all staff in the access and use of

reference sources and help files.

Emphasize the need to be self-

sufficient.

Train in system management. Train key staff in system maintenance.

Obtain project phase sign-off from

customer for ―Final Preparation.‖

Self explanatory.

Go-Live & Support

Item Explanation

Perform final cutover and go-live. Import open balances and beginning

inventory quantities. Import open

transaction documents as required.

Start using the system.

Monitor live environment. Maintain consultant(s) on site for a

period of time (days) while user

become accustomed to the new

system.

Close open issues. If issues erupt, apply all resources

required to close the issues promptly.

Project closing review. On the final day, review the project

Page 185: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Implementation Methodology - Sample

179

Item Explanation plan emphasizing that all tasks were

completed. Note any suggestions for

improving the process.

Obtain project phase sign-off from

customer for ―Go-Live and Support‖ as

well as final project completion.

Self explanatory.

Page 186: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Blueprint

180

The Blueprint

The following explains the structure of a business process blueprint. Opinions vary widely how to prepare a blueprint. Some argue that one begins with the presentation of the proposed solution wherein gaps are noted as the demonstration progresses. The presenter may explain how the gap may be addressed at that time—which includes the idea of reworking the current process to accommodate the solution as is.

Some argue for mapping the processes in the ―as-is‖ state, then later presenting the ―to-be‖ proposal. I have used this approach finding that combining the views of the as-is state with the somewhat abstract view of the to-be state gets bogged down in confusion. Too much information is presented, and imaginations are strained.

The following is a blueprint document structure that you might consider.

Introduction Inform the reader of the document‘s purpose. It will describe in

sufficient detail the solution that will be implemented. And, importantly, the document must receive the signed approval of the client. Changes to the proposed solution have to be documented, approved, and fees may be charged for the additional work. The blueprint document is the primary tool used in preventing scope creep.

Document Scope The blueprint document provides a functional description, not a

technically detailed description. Most clients would not understand the technicalities anyway. You should have reviewed the functionality being proposed with your technical consultants before making the presentation—so you‘re not proposing the impossible.

Current State This section might be lifted directly from the signed proposal. It

describes the current situation at the company that they find unacceptable, and what they expect for the solution to do about each problem area. This is restated in the blueprint to reassure the client that the sales executive who sold the deal and you, the project manager, are on the same page.

Page 187: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Blueprint

181

Company Organization Describe the company organization – where facilities are, what

their function is, which are included in the implementation or not. This also can be lifted from the proposal and again assures the client that the sales executive and you are on the same page.

Summary of Requirements Same thing—copy this section from the proposal for the same

reason as above.

Business Processes Begin describing the ―to-be‖ state of company operation once the

solution has been implemented. Use flowcharts to illustrate the process where it is practical to do so. In many cases, it is appropriate to use a cross-functional chart, a chart with many ―lanes‖ in it representing different departments in the company. Some processes cannot be adequately explained without providing the interdepartmental processing. You can provide the clarity needed in these explanations so you and the client have a perfect understanding of one another.

Remember that the flowchart is supposed to make it easy to understand and follow the process quickly. Don‘t try to jam too much into a single chart or on a single page. Use continuing pages to complete the flow where necessary. I have seen many flowcharts that resemble spider webs of criss-crossing lines, double-headed arrows crossing the expanse of the chart and non-sequentially positioned boxes that are very confusing. The flowchart shouldn‘t need deciphering. It should be easy to read. Keep the flow linear with a clear start point and clear ending point. Keep the chart uncluttered. In very complicated process, provide a high-level flowchart, then breakdown the details of sections of that chart in subsequent charts. The point is to achieve clarity quickly and easily. A flowchart should not in itself be a challenge to read.

You can rarely type enough text into a flowchart element to fully explain what it means. Almost all flowcharts require a table of explanation. I have witnessed oral explanations of flowcharts that went on and on for the lack of explanatory documentation for participants to read. Number each element in your flowchart, then in a table provide and explanation of each element, referencing the element number, and provide contextual clarity in a comments cell where appropriate. The goal is clarity, sufficiently explain the chart so no questions remain. If the discussion reveals that your explanations are inadequate, amend the table of explanations before you ask for an approval signature.

Page 188: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Blueprint

182

I do not include a flowchart of accounting transactions. The accounting flows are unchangeable in most ERPs, therefore, it isn‘t necessary to flowchart what can‘t be changed. Use the software vendor supplied blueprint documents and a demonstration to explain the accounting flows to the client.

How to Conduct a Blueprint Meeting

Invite the company‘s project manager, other senior management member, and a department lead for the transaction type to be discussed, e.g., the sales manager for the sales process. Explain that you are going to document every step from inputs through decision points to outputs and compose a document that shows what and how the new system will handle the processes. Tell them it is important to be thorough, and that it may seem tedious, but you are depending on them to supply the details based on their expertise.

Begin at the beginning, e.g., ―Tell me how you receive a sales order.‖ Use the journalist‘s set of questions—who, what, when, where, why and how-to get all the details you need. You want to record the steps in the sequence in which they occur. By thoroughly gathering the details, especially asking ―why‖ where things seem odd or puzzling, will often reveal an opportunity to change the way they have been doing things. Sometimes companies are getting in their own way, and you can help straighten things out. Don‘t try to do that at this meeting. Wait until you have a completed draft of the blueprint to propose adjustments to their current processes.

You might use the following techniques to ascertain and document the conversation. I handwrite the list of steps using a standard pad of lined paper. I leave several lines between each step since the discussion of leads to forgotten steps that have to be backfilled. Some prefer to use self-stick easel pads and affix each finished page sequentially to the walls of the conference room to give everyone in the room a constant reference to the progression.

If the discussion bogs down in confusion, members may dispute one another‘s version of the steps, I use a white board to draw a flow chart of the steps. This can lead to a lot of erasing and rewriting. If that‘s the case, you might use large post-it notes for each step. They can easily be peeled off and repositioned in the sequence.

I recommend that you go very slowly, giving ample time for the members of the group to think and reflect. Don‘t get uncomfortable with long silences and start filling the air waves with chatter. The goal is to get it all out, but you won‘t. In the review session with your draft blueprint which you will present some number of days later following the session, new steps will likely emerge. It may take several iterations to get it right. The goal is to prepare a detailed functional description of the client‘s

Page 189: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference The Blueprint

183

business processes based on the solution design you are going to deliver. And one the client will apply their approval signature. This is your deliverable. Any changes to the blueprint will have to be made with a signed change order, and may result in additional fees.

Finance The chart of accounts and option settings are handled in the

configuration gathering stage of the implementation. There‘s no need to document this information here in the blueprint, though it could be done so.

If additional software solutions are used, e.g., a financial consolidation solution to produce financials for a group of companies, then a flowchart and table of explanations would be necessary.

Forms If the client wishes the standard forms (e.g., the sales order) in

the solutions to be customized, then each of the forms in their proposed format should be presented in the blueprint. You may use screen prints and a photo-editing program to mock up the new forms.

Reports

If custom reports are required, use a standardized form to gather the data fields, calculations and format of the report. See the report gathering form shown later in this handbook.

Page 190: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

184

Page 191: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

185

Business Process Blueprint

Prepared for Best Bargain

Companies (sample – partial document)

Prepared by: Richard Morrow

Date Prepared: January 16, XXXX

Version: 1.3

—— Confidential Document ——

Page 192: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

186

Table of Contents

Project Summary .................................................................................... #

Introduction .......................................................................................................... #

Document Scope ................................................................................................ #

Current State ....................................................................................................... #

Company Organization ....................................................................................... #

Summary of Requirements ................................................................................ #

Key Business Processes .................................................................................... #

Flowchart Legend ............................................................................................... #

Best Bargain Sales ............................................................................................. #

Best Bargain Sales Chart Organization ............................................................. #

Approvals ............................................................................................................. #

Page 193: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

187

Project Summary

Introduction The purpose of this document is to provide the functional

description of the business management solution as it will be implemented. The business management solution will include Giant Software Systems ERP (Giant), the WMS warehouse solution, the Tracer shipping solution for UPS, Fedex and LTL, and Bonus Plan Inventory Planner solutions. This document will describe transactions for the sales, purchasing and warehousing functions in terms of the required inputs, the decision matrices affecting the desired outputs, and the outputs. It is not the intent of this document to describe the technical details of the solution.

The design will address Best Bargain companies (BB) desire to automate processes as much as possible. Therefore, Giants‘ native customization tools, e.g., user-defined fields, tables and objects; queries; and formatted queries may be used when those features can effectively automate a process being developed expressly for BB.

Best Bargain inputs that contributed to the content of these documents include:

Meetings between Best Bargain companies (BB) including Best Bargain Incorporated (SSI), Best Bargain National (SSN), and Best Bargain American (SSA) and Triple-S teams in the Best Bargain offices to gain a detailed description of the company‘s business processes.

Participation in demonstrations of the Giant Software Systems, WMS, Tracer, and Bonus Plan solutions.

Document Scope

The scope of this document is to provide:

A detailed description of the proposed management solution for BB‘s key processes—specifically the sales, purchasing, and warehouse processes.

A description of the solution landscape being provided in the implementation.

Current State Best Bargain has determined that their current management

software will no longer meet the needs of its growing business. The

Page 194: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

188

deficiencies of the current system have led to a number of time-consuming, error-prone manual processes aimed at filling the gaps in the systems functionality. Among the most serious consequences of the current system are:

Best Bargain requires better visibility of financial and transactional data in realtime. This enhanced view of information will provide management with multiple ways to analyze and react to the company‘s key financial indicators as well as empower the key employees to better manage their fields of operation resulting in quicker and more accurate responses to customer demands.

Best Bargain requires better reporting capabilities to provide the business intelligence needed for better decision making targeting improvements in areas such as purchasing, inventory balance, profitability, cash flow, increased sales, and vendor performance to name a some of the critical concerns.

Best Bargain will also benefit from the real time inventory control that the system provides which streamlines the inventory movement though the use of scanners and tracks inventory throughout its lifecycle. The objective is to increase the number of orders that can be processed daily while improving on fulfillment percentages and accuracy.

Best Bargain requires precise inventory forecasting and replenishment to minimize on‐ hand inventory in order to increase inventory returns and increase the company‘s return on investment,

To eliminate current manual sales order processing in order to speed order processing and reduce errors.

To automate order processing between BB and its 3PL service providers to eliminate cumbersome, error prone and time consuming procedures as are currently in place.

Company Organization Best Bargain is headquartered in Anywhere, New Jersey. There

are three separate, legal entities that comprise the Best Bargain Companies; they are: Best Bargain International, Best Bargain National, and Best Bargain American. Each operates independently of the others and prepares separate financial statements.

Page 195: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

189

Summary of Requirements The business management solution to be implemented for Best

Bargain includes the software solutions shown below:

Best Bargain Incorporated, National and American Business Solution Map

Giant Software Systems (Giant) is the ERP management system that will be used by home office management and staff to manage back office operations.

The WMS solution will be used in managing all product movement in, out and within the warehouse.

Tracer will be used to estimate freight rates, post actual freight rates plus or minus user parameters for freight billing, produce shipping labels, arrange pickup with parcel carriers, record tracking numbers, and produce a bill of lading for LTL and TL shipments.

Bonus Plan will be used to optimize inventory levels resulting in optimal inventory turns. Bonus Plan holds its data in a separate database. Its computations will be integrated with Giant, and will be used to recommend purchase orders to vendors and inventory transfers between BB companies based on warehouse level requirements by item.

Implementation of this business management solution is planned for 45 licensed Giant users.

Page 196: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

190

Business Processes

Key Business Processes

Flowchart Legend

Page 197: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

191

Best Bargain —Sales

Page 198: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

192

Best Bargain – Sales Chart Explanation

# Description Comment

1. Sales order arrives via phone, fax,

email or EDI.

2. Non-EDI orders are manually entered

into the Giant sales order form.

EDI purchase orders from customers

are automatically converted into Giant

sales order form.

Price lists are designated in

each customer‘s master

record causing the

appropriate pricing to

automatically appear in the

sales orders. Giant

provides for the creation of

an unlimited number of

price lists.

3. The value of loss leader items in

proportion to the total value of the

order will be assessed by system to

determine the percentage of loss leader

product in proportion to the total order

value and return a notice of that result.

Note: This feature is not promised for

March 1, 20XX at this time, though the

effort will be made to provide it by that

date..

This step presents a

notification to the user

when the company policy

concerning the ratio of loss

leader items to the total

value of the order exceeds

limits.

4. If the loss leader value exceeds

allowable limits the sales staff will

collaborate with the customer or

through other means bring the sales

order quantities and values into

compliance.

This step is conducted

outside the system, and is a

personal interaction

between CL and its

customers.

5.

and

6.

The fulfilling warehouse or the choice to drop ship the order directly to the customer will be assessed by the order entry staff in consideration of the following factors:

Inventory levels of SSI, SSN, and each 3PL warehouse will be maintained in Giant in the New Jersey office, so each will be viewable using the

Page 199: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

193

# Description Comment

Factor Comment

Customer’s Shipping Destination

Determines the warehouse selected warehouse and displays the warehouse code in the marketing document.

Stock availability.

Options:

Use Giant features to check in—stock positions for order items in relevant warehouses.

Use the ATP feature in WMS to assess future stock status.

Drop Ship The order quantities or customer preference calls for a direct shipment from the vendor to the customer.

native functionality in Giant and IP.

Drop ship sale order items can be included on the sales order with non-drop-shipped items. The automatically produced purchase order will show the customer’s ship-to address, though this address can be overwritten with another ship-to address.

The available to promise (ATP) feature caclulates the likely delivery date for each item based on several factors including incoming, outgoing and commited quantities by dates.

7. The partial or 100% fill requirement is taken from a setting made in the customer’s master record in Giant.

A sales order that can only be partially fulfilled cannot be allocated if the option to partially fill the sales order has been disabled. When the required quantities become available the order manager can allocate the order in its entirety.

Page 200: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

194

# Description Comment

8. The due date is entered into the sales order form by the order entry staff, and indicates when the customer wants their order to arrive.

WMS presents sales orders in the Order Management screen with their delivery due dates. The order manager makes the judgment as to which sales orders to release for picking based on the delivery due dates.

9. The appropriate freight charge due from the customer will be flagged in a manner in which the shipping system will know the freight terms to apply. The freight terms will be one of the following:

Pre-paid—free freight when the order exceeds $700.

Pre paid—free freight for specific customers when the order exceeds $500.

Prepaid, then Charged to Customer

Freight collect

Specified freight amount

Bill third party

The appropriate freight terms are assessed by customer service representative (CSR). The CSR can clearly see that the total order value is in realtime and apply the pre-paid terms.

The other terms are applied either at the CSR discretion or by using the information provided in UDF fields showing the appropriate terms as derived from those same fields found in the Business Partner master.

10. Add the sales order to Giant. Eligible sales orders will be allocated either automatically or manually depending on the system settings and actions taken by the order manager. Orders not eligible for allocation will not allocate and will appear on the Open page of the Order Management screen, e.g., orders requiring 100% order fill that cannot be filled 100%.

Page 201: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

195

# Description Comment

Note: A system configuration can launch an approval process requiring approval for sales orders to customers who have exceeded their credit limit as set in the customer master. Orders cannot be processed until approved in this process configuration.

11. Add the sales orders to Giant intended for fulfillment by a 3PL. The 3PL warehouse needs to be indicated on the line item levels of the sales orders. A separate step will send the sales order via EDI to the 3PL.

When the sales order is fulfilled by the 3PL, a return EDI document will post to the Delivery note in Giant and close the sales order line items fulfilled.

Page 202: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

196

Approval

This document provides the necessary and sufficient description of the business management solution to be implemented for Best Bargain companies. It is acknowledged that changes to the solution as described in this document will require a mutually agreed upon and signed change order for which additional fees may be charged.

Best Bargain Triple-S

Signature Signature

Printed Name Printed Name

Date Date

Page 203: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

197

Cross Functional Flowchart Example

The chart below illustrates the flow and sequence of step with arrows. The numbers indicate the corresponding numbered explanation in an accompanying table. Note that this is a continuing page of a multiple page flowchart.

Page 204: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Blueprint Sample

198

Sample Report Design Template

Ask the customer to provide the necessary details as directed or shown in the example below. Review the document with the customer to make sure it makes sense.

Page 205: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Functional Design Template

199

Functional Design Document

<Feature Name>

Revision History

Version No. Date Prepared by/

Modified by Significant Changes Reviewed by

1.0 First Draft

Related Documents

Version No. Document Name Date Prepared by

Icons Icon Meaning

Caution

Example

Note

Recommendation

Syntax

Page 206: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Functional Design Template

200

Table of Contents

Introduction…………………………………………………………#

Policies and Assumptions…………………………………………#

Explanations of Fields.……………………………………………..#

Database Modifications..…………………………………………..#

Sample Screens…..…………………………………………………#

Page 207: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Functional Design Template

201

Introduction <Explanation what the function needs to do and why the functionality is

needed.>

Policies and Assumptions Sl. No. Business Policies and Design Assumptions

1

2

Explanation of Fields Field

Name

Type Control

Type

Description

Grid

Id

Description

Type

Buttons

Add

Edit

Copy

Delete

Database Modifications Modification in <table name> table

Field Name Description Data Type Max

Length

Nullable

Page 208: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Functional Design Template

202

Sample Screens

Page 209: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

203

Configuration Settings - Data Gathering Form

Use a form to gather the data to input into the system settings. There are two advantages to doing it this way. First, data gathering will be thorough, if all the fields are filled in. And they must be. Second, an approval page must be signed giving the customer‘s approval to the settings. Remember that the project is a collaboration. Data is prepared with the customer, not for the customer. That means the customer must approve the data as collected for input.

See the sample data gathering form on the following pages.

Page 210: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

204

Basic Company Set Up Information

Company Name:

Company Address

Internet Address

Phone 1

Phone 2

Fax

Company general information E-Mail address

Local Currency

If other than US Dollars

System Currency

If other than US Dollars

Will your business like to use any of the tax

features?

Tax types may include:

Sales Tax

Use Tax

Value Added Tax

Yes / No

Tax Authority Name

Federal Tax ID

State Tax ID

Reseller Tax Exemption #

Does your business currently use a segmented

Chart of Accounts?

Select to specify if segments of information

should be added to the standard account

codes, such as division, region, cost center,

Yes / No

Page 211: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

205

Basic Company Set Up Information and so on,. for detailed transaction tracking

and reporting.

Does your business require Multi-Language

Support

This function is used to translate field names

in Business One to foreign languages and

print them in documents you send to foreign

business partners.

Yes / No

Which inventory valuation method would you

like to default into new item file records?

Note this can be changed to another method at

the time a new item master record is created.

Moving Average:

Choose this option to

calculate the inventory value

by the item's cost price. This

field is updated dynamically

by every stock receipt

posting.

Standard Price:

Choose this option to

calculate the inventory value

by a fixed price. The item's

standard price should be set

before you start working in

your company.

FIFO:

Choose this option to

calculate the inventory value

by the FIFO method (first in

first out). Each inventory

receipt transaction creates a

"layer" of quantities linked to

costs; each inventory release

transaction will use

quantities and their

corresponding costs from the

first open layer/s.

Does your business allow a stock release with a

cost? Yes / No

Page 212: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

206

Basic Company Set Up Information Permits items to be included in documents

such as deliveries or A/R invoices, even when

a cost price has not been determined. Select

when the inventory valuation is performed

according to moving average or FIFO. If you

selected Standard Price, a price has already

been defined.

Which business checking account would you

like to be the system default?

Page 213: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

207

General Company Settings

What are the standard posting periods for

your business?

Fiscal Calendar

Date From: ______to _______

Number of Periods: 1 (year), 4

(quarters) 12 (months)

Start of Fiscal Year:

_____________

What is the earliest prior period that you

would like to enter into the ERP to allow for

Comparative Financial Statements?

Customer Activity Alerts Options:

You can restrict the creation of sales

documents for customers and prompt a

warning message according to the following

parameters:

Credit Limit:

Select to check whether adding

the sales document for the

customer causes deviation from

the credit limit defined for the

customer in the Business

Partner’s Master record.

A warning message appears if

the customer's account balance

and the amount of the current

document exceed the customer's

credit line.

Commitment Limit:

Select to check whether adding

the sales document for the

customer causes deviation from

the commitment limit defined for

the customer in the Business

Partner’s Master record.

A warning message appears if

<the customer's account

balance> + <the amount of the

current document> exceed the

customer's commitment limit.

Consider Deliveries Balance

Select to check the customer's

Page 214: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

208

General Company Settings

account balance and also the

balance of their open deliveries

while applying the selected

restrictions for customer activity.

Once you select the required

option(s) described above, select

the type of documents to which

the restrictions apply and for

which a warning message is

launched:

A/R Invoice

Delivery

Sales Order

How does your business set the commission

rate by, If used?

Define how commissions are calculated. A

commission can be awarded based on the

sales employee, item, or customer specified

in the document.

Select one or more of these options

depending on how you want the ERP to

calculate commissions.

This setting influences where you can

specify the sales commission percentage,

but does not automatically calculate any

commission transactions.

You can change this setting at any time.

Salesman

Item

Customer

Page 215: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

209

Go-Live Checklist

System Readiness Verify that all actions to get the system properly configured

according to the blueprint have been conducted and tested in the production environment.

Project Management

Is the system ready for go-live in a production

environment? Yes No

If no, explain and provide adequate documentation.

Final Integration Test

Have all integration tests been completed? Yes No

Have all issues been resolved? Yes No

If no, explain what critical issues are still open and need to be addressed

before going live.

Explain:

System Management

All hardware is installed and operative? Yes No

Startup/shutdown procedures have been tested? Yes No

Is network ready for production environment? Yes No

Backup strategy implemented? Yes No

Backup & restore tested? Yes No

Disaster recovery plan is ready? Yes No

System Readiness

Are there any problems with the performance of the

production system? Yes No

If yes, please explain:

Has production system been backed up? Yes No

Page 216: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

210

All interfaces are tested and operative? Yes No

All printing is configured for production? Yes No

Print preferences set? Yes No

Sales documents can be printed? Yes No

Purchasing documents can be printed? Yes No

Outgoing payments can be printed?

Yes No

Comments:

System Administration

Alerts defined for recurring administrative tasks? Yes No

Support process is setup according to Service Level

Agreement? Yes No

Supports contacts for customer and consulting partner

identified? Yes No

Escalation contacts for customer and consulting

partner identified? Yes No

Access to support site and documentation completed? Yes No

Remote connection tested? Yes No

Page 217: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

211

Company Readiness Confirm that the end users and the system support personnel are

ready for the go-live.

End User Readiness

Have all end-users completed navigation training? Yes No

End user documentation is available and updated

where required? Yes No

Have all end-users completed business process

training for their specific functions in the system? Yes No

Has the system administrator been trained according

to the Service Level Agreement? Yes No

All User IDs and passwords have been created in the

system and the appropriate security level assigned? Yes No

Comments:

Documentation

Have all business processes been documented? Yes No

Have the system and configuration settings been

documented? Yes No

Have custom queries been documented? Yes No

Comments:

Page 218: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

212

Data Readiness To confirm that all data has been properly migrated, as agreed in

the blueprint, and is available in the new system.

Cut Over

All transactions from the final business day before

conversion have been entered? Yes No

The complete month end processes have been

completed in the legacy system as required? Yes No

The complete year end processes have been completed

in the legacy system as required? Yes No

All final legacy reports have been run? Yes No

Have all automated conversions been run? Yes No

Have all automated conversion results been verified? Yes No

Have all manual conversions been completed? Yes No

Have all manual conversion results been verified? Yes No

Have all manual outstanding transactions (open

documents) been entered into the system? Yes No

Comments:

Page 219: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

213

Data Migration

All required master data has been imported from

legacy system? Yes No

Business partners? Yes No

Item master record? Yes No

Chart of Accounts? Yes No

Price lists and special pricing? Yes No

Catalogue numbers and alternative items? Yes No

Bill-of-Materials? Yes No

All required transaction data has been imported from

legacy system? Yes No

Service contracts? Yes No

Sales employees? Yes No

Bank accounts? Yes No

A/R and A/P terms? Yes No

Serial and batch numbers? Yes No

All required opening balances recorded? Yes No

GL accounts? Yes No

Business partner opening balances? Yes No

Inventory opening balances? Yes No

Verify inventory booking value in matches value of

item valuation report Yes No

Trial balance matches legacy system? Yes No

Comments:

Page 220: How to Be a Project Manager Without Getting Killed

Quick Reference Configuration Settings

214

By signing below, the parties agree that the information in this document is correct and that the system is ready to go live in production. <Customer> <Consulting Company>

Signature: ___________________ Signature: _______________

Name: _____________________ Name: __________________

Company: ___________________ Company: _______________

Position: ____________________ Position: ________________

Date ______________________ Date ___________________